Caption Competition Mk III

[sealo0]

I’ve heard of a snake with two heads but this is ridiculous!

[Wensleydale]

Evidence emerges of the roots of the game "Twister".

[Wensleydale]

Are you allowed "Mixi-blobs" in this crewroom?

[jolihokistix]

Will call this around Monday 9:00 am UK time. :ok:

[NutLoose]

Did you just fart?

[jolihokistix]

Reality bites.

Well, there you have it. A difficult round, I wot.

The steps of the *temple are stone, and these are lizards. I was expecting jokes about Bill Gates, dogging, docking or lizarding.

After the usual eliminations for track limits, I guess we are left with Treaders' "Putin ****** by Prigozhin. Or is it the other way round...?" Although the mid-field was tight.

This temple was used as the setting for part of the shooting of The Last Samurai.
Was this blatant act by temple lizards sacred, or sacrilegious, I wondered as my eye-in-the-sky zeroed in for the peep shot?
Mount Shosha Engyoji Temple - Himeji Travel (japan-guide.com) (https://www.japan-guide.com/e/e3503.html)

Congratulations big T in sunny Croydon!

[treadigraph]

Blimey! Thanks Joli...

Here's the same pic from a different angle...

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/680x383/prick_6f749faebc365205e631f91652ff2b562c27c508.jpeg

[NutLoose]

And for starters on the menu we have the "Coup of the Day"

[NutLoose]

For mains we will be serving "Rostov Chicken in a white whine sauce"

[NutLoose]

And we just add a sprinkle of polonium to bring out the sweetness of the yellow custard tart

[NutLoose]

Followed by dark chocolate mints to leave that bitter after taste in your mouth.

[sealo0]

Chef: NO, my Chicken, you stuff Moscow like this!

Putin: who said anything about Moscow?

Chef: aaaarh that let the cat out of the bag!

[NutLoose]

Sorry Boss, Chicken Kyiv's are now off the menu..

[jolihokistix]

P the cook: “You twist off the head of the Ukrainian Bantam like this…”

The other P, (head of something) seriously impressed, thinks: “O God, how I love this guy.”

[NutLoose]

And tonight I will be dishing up a national dish..
Belarussian Roadrunner.

..

[NutLoose]

Do you like a tossed salad Prigozhin?, because tonight we are going to toss you.. out of a window

[Chu Chu]

Pr: Let's toast the future!

Pu: I suggest vodka, coffee liqueur, and cream.

[Chu Chu]

I knew the men in white coats would show up sooner or later.

[treadigraph]

Gosh isn't it quiet around here? No really, I'll call time later this evening if I don't nod off first, or first thing tomorrow...

[NutLoose]

I don’t know where everyone has gone… I blame Buster… :p


..

[jolihokistix]

Prigozhin: “And then when Skripal grabs hold of the front door knob, violà!”

[treadigraph]

Well they're all winners in the shortest round ever - but the Catering Corpse Plum Duff Surprise goes to:

Chef: NO, my Chicken, you stuff Moscow like this!

Putin: who said anything about Moscow?

Chef: aaaarh that let the cat out of the bag!

Mine might have been "I suspect we are in for a double defenestration, Comrade..."

[sealo0]

Wow, thanks Tready.
Other duties for a while I’ll be back about lunchtime.

Mike

[sealo0]

Well that was a busy morning, some aviation content:-


https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1842x1227/img_0272_5371faf05890a593931f63c593d8eb317d3dca55.jpeg

try this one for size!

Mike

[NutLoose]

Well it don't look like a drone.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Hoskins, bit late.....etc

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

They don't call it The Highlands for nothing.

[jolihokistix]

Heather woke up in surprise.

[treadigraph]

I knew I should have worn my thermals...

[treadigraph]

He used to be an F-105 driver...

Ah... Thud Ridge?

Yup...

[Wensleydale]

Flown by... an Under-Ling?

[treadigraph]

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1842x1227/img_0272_5371faf05890a593931f63c593d8eb317d3dca55.jpeg

I hope this wasn't the upshot - or downshot - of your busy morning Sealo0!

[treadigraph]

Never go slope soaring over the moors on the Glorious 12th... else ye grouse after!

[andytug]

Which idiot beater flushed that one up, McHoskins??

[andytug]

"Sorry Sir...forgot to bring my thermals!"

[NutLoose]

Oh for a picture of a group of people to put words into their mouths, I just don’t know what to do with this one…


you sure it’s a drone?..

[NutLoose]

Well it’s white boyo, so it might be a sheep.

[treadigraph]

Wave? I thought you meant something friendly towards those hillwalkers...

[sealo0]

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1842x1227/img_0272_5371faf05890a593931f63c593d8eb317d3dca55.jpeg

I hope this wasn't the upshot - or downshot - of your busy morning Sealo0!
err no I think it might take a bit longer to get that out of there

[Big Pistons Forever]

This is what happens when you take RAF “green” initiatives too far……

[Big Pistons Forever]

Yah but the radar signature was reduced 80% when we eliminated the engine !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Cadet Bloggins that was a totally unnecessary land out. I told you there is always a great thermal over the cadet HQ’s building !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Congratulations you are an ace. God shot you down 5 times in a row !

[cavuman1]

From Soar to Sore in one easy lesson.

- Ed

[NutLoose]

Colditz glider revealed

[Chu Chu]

When I told you to plant it. . . .

[fdr]

recovery ground crew: "Of all the gin joints.... !"

[treadigraph]

What a piece of luck! Some white heather...

[artee]

So who needs sustainable aviation fuel?

[Wensleydale]

"Doesn't look like Pegasus Bridge to me..."

[treadigraph]

"Doesn't look like Pegasus Bridge to me..."

Aye, more like Hebden Bridge tha' knows!

(Google tells me this out landing was actually atop Moel Famau between Denbigh and Mold...)

[Wensleydale]

Aye, more like Hebden Bridge tha' knows!

(Google tells me this out landing was actually atop Moel Famau between Denbigh and Mold...)

Making a mountain out of a Moel hill, obviously.

[Dan Gerous]

Do you need a lift mate?
Aye... you couldn't give us a tow could you?

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

A tip Jenkins...next time launch the glider with it pointing down the hill.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Hoskin's attempt at the Mach Loop once again demonstrated that his ambition outweighed his ability.

[622]

Exactly how long have you been waiting for a launch?

[treadigraph]

There's poetry boyo, a glider on the Glyder...

(Well, not far away)

[sealo0]

OK, Folks last orders, please calling it about 6 PM BST today

[Wensleydale]

Not to worry... MT's on its way.

[SLXOwft]

The sudden thaw exposed the vulnerabity of the winter coat.

[SLXOwft]

The duo discussed the benefits of the XLT.

[NutLoose]

So I saw this white flash bobbing across the field and I thought Pesky Wabbit.... at that point I let it have both barrels officer.

[Chu Chu]

Walt a minute. Maybe it was “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” . . .

[Wensleydale]

Who shouted "PULL"!!?

[sealo0]

Thanks for all the contributions much enjoyed by me. I must admit I was a bit worried about that one, seemed a bit plane!!
Great tries with
Wensleydale (https://www.pprune.org/members/153579-wensleydale)
"Doesn't look like Pegasus Bridge to me..."
treadigraph (https://www.pprune.org/members/45458-treadigraph)
I knew I should have worn my thermals...

Anyhow the winner is
Traffic_Is_Er_Was (https://www.pprune.org/members/111500-traffic_is_er_was)

Hoskin's attempt at the Mach Loop once again demonstrated that his ambition outweighed his ability.

Over to you.

[sealo0]

I have sent him a PM but may be time zones are in the way

[Chu Chu]

If you ski on a ski hill, where do you glide?

[jolihokistix]

Can I offer this as a stopgap freebie meanwhile?

Ignore as necessary.


https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1170x1261/img_0665_b4a157878b38bb21e3e5fd5e2f2a31c94410d7a8.jpeg

[cavuman1]

I fart in your general direction!

- Ed

[sealo0]

Hi all, even though I have PM’d & emailed him, traffic seems to be absent without leave. So with Treadi consent I should pass the batten to him. Well PM him now.

[treadigraph]

Cheers Sealo, let's stick with Joli's pic if he's happy to wear the black cap and pass sentence in a day or two...


https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1170x1261/img_0665_b4a157878b38bb21e3e5fd5e2f2a31c94410d7a8.jpeg

[sealo0]

Treadi, seems like a good solution. OK, Joli, all yours

Mike

[jolihokistix]

If you all insist… :p

[sealo0]

Don’t fancy your’s much!

[Chu Chu]

With seat pitch reduced yet again, passengers began voting with their feet.

[NutLoose]

Please do not move, your rectal scan is coming through on my monitor now.

[fdr]

No, No, No! listen people, you only assume crash position when we tell you to!

[NutLoose]

It’s put your head between YOUR legs and kiss your ass goodbye, not those of the hot chick in the seat in front of you.

[NutLoose]

And to the Australian in seat 43B, welcome to the northern hemisphere.

[sealo0]

Virgin PAX cabin announcement: Has anyone seen Richard!

[sealo0]

Mum: Jimmy, Just wait till I get you home​​​​​!
Jimmy: But .. but .. mum I’m the Captain!

[sealo0]

Some passengers need a moral compass reset

[Wensleydale]

When Batman did fly....

[treadigraph]

Southwest Airlines cabin briefings started getting a bit too over the top...

[sealo0]

Promo picture of the jurno cabin Air Force One

[treadigraph]

Ryan Air finds a way to double capacity...

[Wensleydale]

...and then the cabin crew showed the co-pilot where his seat was.

[Wensleydale]

We've got a problem with the No 2 inverter.

[Wensleydale]

With the aircraft at only 5,279 feet, Brian and Julie had to be creative in their attempt to join the mile high club.

[andytug]

Excuse me, but people normally join the mile high club in the toilets.....

[reds & greens]

"...In the unlikely event of severe turbulence..."

[treadigraph]

I thought POTUS is supposed to fly on Air Force One...

[sealo0]

Good Afternoon, Ladies and gentleman. I’ve just been advised by the Captain of new feature on this aircraft of a children’s play area. If they use the door at the rear of the cabin, they will be blown away by the spectacular views, there is no change for facility. Thank you

[622]

Him? ....oh that will be Lionel Ritchie showing off again!

[jolihokistix]

Some great captions so far. Let’s allow this to run till…say, the start of London office hours on Monday?

(Unless it stops dead with a flat battery.)

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Hi all, even though I have PM’d & emailed him, traffic seems to be absent without leave. So with Treadi consent I should pass the batten to him. Well PM him now.
Apologies gents, in and out a bit and didn't see the PM til now. Thanks for carrying on.

[sealo0]

Apologies gents, in and out a bit and didn't see the PM til now. Thanks for carrying on.

Sorry you missed out, better luck next time.
Mike

[treadigraph]

Apologies gents, in and out a bit and didn't see the PM til now. Thanks for carrying on.

Now that's a good caption!

[sealo0]

CIRQUE DU SOLEIL on there way to the next venue

[cavuman1]

Another Vomit Comet passenger goes arse over teakettle.

- Ed

[Chu Chu]

ATC is asking us to report soles onboard.

[Dan Gerous]

Plenty of leg room in my seat!


https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1170x1261/img_0665_b4a157878b38bb21e3e5fd5e2f2a31c94410d7a8.jpeg

[fitliker]

Some fellas will do anything to get a woman to sit on their face.
Although he may get a surprise when miss Holland gets back to her/his seat

[sealo0]

CAA/FAA* inspection goes too far!

* delete as required!

[artee]

"Will the passengers in seat 69 please fasten their seatbelt"

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Yes maam, we know we say our Premium Economy seats come with hot air foot warmers, and in our defense, they do. What seems to be the problem?

[jolihokistix]

Engaging thrust reversers…

A good crop this time, and a hard task ahead.

Watch this space! :uhoh:

[jolihokistix]

Nutloose: “And to the Australian in seat 43B, welcome to the northern hemisphere.”

Sealo0: “Some passengers need a moral compass reset.”

And Reds ‘n Greens: "...In the unlikely event of severe turbulence..."

Tickled my funny bone, but so did many others. The jury has come to a decision, you are all guilty, but some are more guilty than others, oh, and they thank you for the laughs.

In the event, artee does a Max with "Will the passengers in seat 69 please fasten their seatbelt"…

Would you take the con, sir?

[artee]

Nutloose: “And to the Australian in seat 43B, welcome to the northern hemisphere.”

Sealo0: “Some passengers need a moral compass reset.”

And Reds ‘n Greens: "...In the unlikely event of severe turbulence..."

Tickled my funny bone, but so did many others. The jury has come to a decision, you are all guilty, but some are more guilty than others, oh, and they thank you for the laughs.

In the event, artee does a Max with "Will the passengers in seat 69 please fasten their seatbelt"…

Would you take the con, sir?
Gosh, thanks. I have the con, and I'll have a rummage.

[artee]

Try this for size:

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/638x447/cessna_172_a6f804104c31a8a2056c5cf69fb4c407fafb4e81.jpg

No pilots were (seriously) injured during the making of this photo:

Plane nosedives into roof of hangar in crash at Long Beach Airport — pilot somehow survives (https://nypost.com/2023/07/10/plane-crashes-into-roof-of-hangar-at-long-beach-airport/)

[Big Pistons Forever]

What happened?

He decided to drop in for a cup of tea

[Big Pistons Forever]

Grandpa died peacefully in his sleep.

Yah but what happened to the passengers in the back seat ?

[Big Pistons Forever]

When the tower said “clearance on final”, she heard “final clearance” and wasn’t going to miss the bargains

[Big Pistons Forever]

Yes Bloggins, crashing into the CO’s office IS grounds for a training review board.

[Wensleydale]

"Lima Juliette - have you reached your ceiling yet?"

[sealo0]

Why are the step’s never in the right place!

[sealo0]

Hope dopey joe not in that one, he’ll never make the steps

[Wensleydale]

Is there anything in the FRCs for this sort of Stall Recovery?

[jolihokistix]

“Oh dear, no, not those piano keys Hoskins!”

[Wensleydale]

"Did we win the spot landing competition?"

[Wensleydale]

"Poor landing Blogs. That was all over the shop".

[Wensleydale]

Chopped Pilot: "Was that my last Landing?"

Instructor: "Well it looked terminal to me."

[Wensleydale]

"Don't look back in Hanger"!!

[sealo0]

Sorry Pilot we don’t repair propellers is this shop, it’s the other side of the runway you want.

[Hydromet]

You'll never be a pilot with that attitude, Hoskins.

[NutLoose]

If Costco sold aircraft.

[SLXOwft]

Hoskins thought his instructor said he was to be flying so low.

[Dan Gerous]

How ironic, he crashed into the aisle with the Red Bull in it.

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/638x447/cessna_172_a6f804104c31a8a2056c5cf69fb4c407fafb4e81.jpg

[Buster Hyman]

What part of Barn Storming did you not understand?

[Buster Hyman]

Well officer, I asked the pilot to taxi to the terminal for me and he said “I know a quicker way “

[NutLoose]

Ground floor: perfumery
Stationery and leather goods
Wigs and haberdashery (https://genius.com/28365680/Stephanie-gathercole-are-you-being-served-theme-song/Haberdashery)
Kitchenware and food
Going up

First floor (https://genius.com/28365690/Stephanie-gathercole-are-you-being-served-theme-song/First-floor): telephones
Gents' (https://genius.com/28365695/Stephanie-gathercole-are-you-being-served-theme-song/Gents) ready-made suits
Shirts, socks, ties, hats
Underwear and shoes
Going up (https://genius.com/28365723/Stephanie-gathercole-are-you-being-served-theme-song/Going-up)

Second floor: Aircraft and firemen
Scrap and broken parts
Ladders and TV crews
Going down

[Frostchamber]

Well Hoskins, you've cracked the "vertical" element of the manoeuvre. It's just the "rolling" bit that needs a tad more work...

[ShyTorque]

"Now Bloggs, when I said: 'Go for the landing light', that's not what I meant!"

[sealo0]

Hoskins I know that JCB have a Dove aircraft in their factory but I don’t think this is the way they did it.

[SLXOwft]

Brad should have paid more attention when studying principles of fright.

[SLXOwft]

On retirement Capt Mitchell maintained his unfortunate habit of flying inverted when he wanted to see what was underneath him.

[Chu Chu]

After the seventh emergency response, management was forced to consider a more conventional roof decoration.

[Wensleydale]

The consequences of a night on the tiles?

[Wensleydale]

"How do I pay for a flight"?

"Just put it on the slate".

[andytug]

"Well Hoskins, this is becoming a habit....a shark last time, wasn't it?

[jolihokistix]

“Pffft, just a scratch, it’ll soon buff out. Now, back in my day we had some real crashes.”

[Buster Hyman]

Well, the last thing Grandpa said was "This reminds me of Midway!"

[Buster Hyman]

Okay Hoskins. A little less enthusiasm on the Compass swing okay?

[fdr]

"Red light special over on aisle 13"

[treadigraph]

Should have gone to Specsavers...

[Big Pistons Forever]

OK OK I get you millennials are different so the next time instead of saying " when you push the cows get bigger, I will say when you push the mall gets bigger"

[fitliker]

Pull back and the cows get smaller , keep pulling and they get big again , push the foot peddle inand they get dizzy watching you tumble through the mirth

[cavuman1]

Many were unaware of the Cessna 152 Aerobat's legendary STOL characteristics.

- Ed

[SLXOwft]

The Cessna Ostrich ...

[artee]

Calling this so we can have a newbie for the weekend. Some great responses.

3rd jolihokistix with
Oh dear, no, not those piano keys Hoskins!

2nd Dan Gerous with
How ironic, he crashed into the aisle with the Red Bull in it.

but the one that landed just right was Wensleydale channeling John Osborne with
"Don't look back in Hanger"!!

The CST will be sent by autolanding drone.