Caption Competition Mk III

[Kiltrash]

Klaatu barada nikto....

Nope, better call in the Army...but we ARE the Army..

[Kiltrash]

It said here to ". Light the blue touch paper, and retire.."

[Kiltrash]

Let's just bury it here and call it a Time Capsual ...not to be opened till 2001....

[treadigraph]

Well that's Tom buggered. We'll have to rely on Dick and Harry...

[NutLoose]

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/700x465/image_2c1e389e277c3cc23d7bb9080ae3a22e26976cb2.png

[NutLoose]

Well I now understand why the RAF call us brown jobs, when that landed I literally filled my pants, I don’t know about you chaps..

[cavuman1]

"I say - what's that ticking sound?"

- Ed

[cavuman1]

"Those Chinese and their shoot a shell through the Earth experiment!"

- Ed

[NutLoose]

When they said I would find fairies at the bottom of the garden I didn’t expect it to be you Cuthbert and you Ponsonby.

[ShyTorque]

“I say, do you think it’s gone orf?”

“Well I think something just has, there’s a terrible smell!”

[ShyTorque]

“Dunno, just checked my list…it’s definitely not a TACEVAL inject. I suggest we all back quietly away…”

[ShyTorque]

“When you said Michelle was waiting for me in bed, this isn’t what I expected to find!”

[Chu Chu]

After seeing Battery Walk and Caisson Lake, visitors to the artillery park often enjoyed a quiet moment in Shell Garden.

[Kiltrash]

Eh Morris, you want us to dress in brightly coloured clothes with straw hats and bells on our legs and hold streamers whily prancing round this in a medieval fertility rite?? ..

[Kiltrash]

The revenge of the Moles, by Jasper Carrot

[Kiltrash]

Well it does give the lads something to aim at while walking back to base from a session in The Old Bull and Bush.... That'll stop Mrs Higginbotham complaint what she is shocked by when she looks out her upstairs landing window every Friday night, while balanced on a chair...( To get a better look , )

[jolihokistix]

Totally camouflaged, a fiendishly clever Bosch periscope listens in on secret garden meetings of the top brass.

[sealo0]

Someone call Enfield we’re going to need a bigger rifle!

[sealo0]

OK Hoskins where did you hide the sixpence for the Christmas pudding!

[Kiltrash]

Stand well back lads, donno how big this is gonna get.... I put on too much Grow Kwik mixed with Ponsonsby- Smyth's Viagra...again

[SLXOwft]

In the gardens of Craiglockhart, Dr Rivers demonstrates his new extreme systematic desensitization therapy for shell shock.

[jolihokistix]

OK Hoskins where did you hide the sixpence for the Christmas pudding!
Silver thruppeny bit? Tsk, tsk, tsk, you young'uns.

[Chu Chu]

Kjell chose it himself. He said he'd heard his name mispronounced enough while he was alive.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Judging time at No 7 Camouflage School final exams. B Section have not done too well.

[Chu Chu]

The good news is that that the experimental emplacement scheme has reduced counterbattery fire by 100%. The bad news is that we still need to solve elevation adjustment and groundwater contamination of the propellant. Hopefully in that order . . .

[Buster Hyman]

Chumley, tell the Sappers that they’re 300 yards short again!

[Buster Hyman]

Here lies, our friend, Mr. Squiggle….

(for the Ozmates)

[622]

So Major ....how do know that the missile manufacturers and the silo contractors were not talking to each other?

[622]

Your'e right L/Cpl Jones, they wont like it 'up em'

[NutLoose]

I believe it's a Bob weight Sir, I have sent for herrumph...sorry.. him, to confirm my suspicions

[NutLoose]

Well Gerty is a big girl Sir, I hear she had to wire it into the mains as the batteries were to small for it.

[fitliker]

Gardener says it will never compost , so we suggested he try burning it with the leaves in Autumn when we are holiday

[Chu Chu]

Mother Earth is sick -- if I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times. But I never expected projectile vomiting.

[Chu Chu]

But there’s no stone. How do you know it’s Hoskins?

Who else would be pushing up daisy cutters?

[Buster Hyman]

Well, as far as Needles in Haystacks go, that wasn't very difficult!

[Buster Hyman]

If Space X designed Artillery rounds...

[NutLoose]

Busters gonna need a sh*tload of KY jelly for that one.

[Buster Hyman]

Busters gonna need a sh*tload of KY jelly for that one.
Whereas Nutty will just take it like a man...

[Kiltrash]

General Tellytubbie and his Minions wondered just what the script writers had in store for them this episode...

[Kiltrash]

Don't think we're gonna need a metal detector to find this mine the Argies left behind...

[Kiltrash]

Having played his ball into Wentworth flower beds, Kiltrash asks the rules committee for a free drop

[jolihokistix]

“…landed with thrust-reversers?”
Steady on old chap, that’s all a bit too Jules Verne!”

[Confusious]

Scores on the doors folks

Lots of top notch entries

Third place:
When they said I would find fairies at the bottom of the garden I didn’t expect it to be you Cuthbert and you Ponsonby.

Second place:
This should stop the fecking dogs crapping on my petunias..

Winner:
Your'e right L/Cpl Jones, they wont like it 'up em'

Take it away 622, trophy travelling from a land down under.

[NutLoose]

Whereas Nutty will just take it like a man...

And help shove it up ya :p

Well done all, Well done 622

[622]

Many thanks .....so fill your boots with this :

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/280x180/images_4ed3e8f0fbcfc1714e71121c916c7030d5b235c7.jpg

[Confusious]

That's definitely a red, check the TMO and put that yellow flag away.

[Confusious]

Shall we now call it a KNAT?

[sealo0]

No Uri we’re fighting in Ukraine not OZ

[sealo0]

He’s not heavy he’s my tank!

[sealo0]

That saves the turret going into space

[Kiltrash]

Hurrumpf....my Jonesey and up em was in before 622's....
so as it's my football if i can't be in the winning side, im going home. ..

[Big Pistons Forever]

YURI ! Stop with the battle planning, it's time to surrender to the Ukrainians, heck even our tank has rolled over and bared its tummy !

[Kiltrash]

Ok you talked me back..thanks..I accept your apology 😊

Poland later regretted lending their Leopard 2 tanks to Ukraine..

[Kiltrash]

So we went wrong here and turned left instead of right...get me the navigator

[Kiltrash]

It's amazing how satisfying, after a hard day at work, there's always someone in MORE **** that you..

[Kiltrash]

...and thats why 'fficers carry swagger sticks...to apportion blame without getting within a right jab reach..

[sealo0]

OK we had better finish this game of tiddlywinks and get back to work ( if that’s what you call it)

[Kiltrash]

So if the driver puts HER left leg over the commanders right shoulder and HER right leg over the gunners goinal area we can all fit in a tank designed for a 5 person crew..

[Kiltrash]

When I said FIRE I meant to put on a brew...

[Kiltrash]

Right so the Bank is just there, in the main square and we just roll up, knock down the door, rip the safe door open and escape with the loot...
er Sir care to look over your right shoulder??

[Kiltrash]

So if we had got her up to 88 MPH we could have driven upside down in the sewage pipe after all....good effort everyone. Now is there a crane nearby??

[Kiltrash]

...the upside down tank??...fell off the back of a lorry, obviously...

[Kiltrash]

Fortunately the designers had the foresight to equip the tank with a downwards firing ejector seat...sorry Aviation Content

[Chu Chu]

Everyone concentrate. If we flipped it over, we can flip it back again.

[cynicalint]

Hurry up and get this tank off my shoulder, it's starting to ache!

[SLXOwft]

So, you start digging here and when you reach America they push the tank in and it arrives right way up.

[Wensleydale]

The crew blamed a faulty inverter.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Ohhh, I see it now. I DID have the plans for the dummy tank upside down !

[SLXOwft]

So fellow syndicate members, we have 15 minutes, equipment consisting of 2 x 10 metre ropes, 4 x 2.4 metre planks, a 3 metre square tarp, 8 barrels and one inverted tank. The task is to right the tank and cross the imaginary 3 metre gully marked by the white a tape over there. A further restriction is everyone must cross on the tank and only three persons can be in contact with the tank at any time.

My plan is ...

[SLXOwft]

If we look busy and surprised if questioned they may just believe it wasn't us.

[Hydromet]

Very good, Bloggs. Now, take out the sump plug and change the oil.

[NutLoose]

Ok so we will take turns on each track like a treadmill until we have wound up the spring then we will turn it over and set off.

[NutLoose]

This isn’t Australia they’ve dropped us in Egypt.

[fitliker]

That Mongolian jumped right out in front of us Tiananmen Square style and then went full Genghis Khan on our tank , just like that the fight was over and so was the Shanghai taxi

[fitliker]

Attempts to copy Stalins flying tanks failed at the first few landings .

Once they remove the greasy stain that used to be the driver , attempts for the twenty third landing will begin in earnest

[fdr]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/280x180/images_4ed3e8f0fbcfc1714e71121c916c7030d5b235c7.jpg

Oooh, look, that's a bit of the commander there! We can mail him home now...

[treadigraph]

Hoskins is still inside? Great, park the "turning it back over" idea on the "too difficult pile"...

[treadigraph]

Ah, Lt Heath Robinson, can you explain your latest brain child to me please?

[jolihokistix]

“OK, look here, if we all stick exactly to the same story there’ll be no problem.
Now, this is how it happened…”

[Wensleydale]

So team, we have four pine poles and six meters of rope. Our task is to......

[Confusious]

"In difficult situations I usually think to myself 'what would the Air Force do?"

"It wouldn't have happened sir."

[treadigraph]

Hoskins, how can I put this simply? The rest of the world isn't out of step with you...

[Chu Chu]

It says right here: "Tank is suitable for inverted operation." But what does "Usable capacity 87 liters" mean?.

[Chu Chu]

Alright, who put the itching powder on the turret again?

[jolihokistix]

"Here's the spec list."
Russian Tanks (updated 2023)
No brakes, no protection, no reverse gear, no communications, very useful for exploding up to three mines before stopping. One token round included in starter kit.

"Hang on then, so what button did you say you pushed, Hoskins?"

[NutLoose]

I appears to be suffering from turrets syndrome, when I approached it all i could hear was Fu*ck...Fu*ck...Fu*ck.........Fu*cking tank, coming from inside the turret

[Buster Hyman]

Well, how was I to know it was an inflatable decoy? I’m just the driver!

[Buster Hyman]

Has anyone tried scratching its belly?

[Buster Hyman]

I’d heard this term “daisy cutter”, so I thought we’d give it a try.

[Buster Hyman]

Try dropping something through a hatch now you Ukrainian dogs!!!

[Kiltrash]

So the Manager wants us to play with a flatback four and a holding midfielder in front for the game against the Air Force...
err Skip, don't you think we may have a problem with the keeper??

[treadigraph]

If anyone asks if you've seen Gary Linekar, just say no...

[Kiltrash]

( Michelle voice )
Leesten verry carefully, I shall zay zis only oncee
( Mimi La Bonk voice )
Err don't you think Lt Gruber won't notice what we did??

[Kiltrash]

So our new Royal Sponcer of our beloved Duke of Edinburgh battalion is to be.... God give me strength...

[Kiltrash]

Having returned to his beloved Lada in Croydon,

Treadigaph was disappointed to discover just how easy it was for the local Scroat to steal his catalytic converter.

or

Said this is to prevent the MET from clamping or towing away ..

[Kiltrash]

The tank test driver disproved that Bae's claim their new improved version could easily transverse a 85.5 degree slope. So the designer knelt down with his management team to brainstorm what went wrong....totally ignoring the shouts and banging for HELP...

[sealo0]

All we need now is a ukrainian tractor to come along! That would make our day.

[sealo0]

Hoskinski how do you think the training went?
Well it was OK until I tried the barrel roll!
Hoskinski it’s a tank not a plane.
Oh is that where I went wrong.

[NutLoose]

I don't think when the Captain said that he wanted us to roll into town he meant this.

[NutLoose]

Size matters..


https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/500x296/image_d6c937241bc64ae87fc70b52201e292fdd6e84eb.png

[Kiltrash]

At the line of scrimmage. The San Francisco '49ers descided on a power play to get behind the Dallas Cowboys wagon train..

[Kiltrash]

Well someone HAS to present MOTD....shall we draw lots? Hoskins is excused as he has to write up a 47 page report to the Insurance company. .

[Kiltrash]

Can you take a message to President Zelenskky...can you scratch 1 Challenger. It'll be late on parade..

[Wensleydale]

"Right. That's the dash cam buried. What next?"

[Wensleydale]

When the RAC needs the RAC.

[Chu Chu]

Okay, Hoskins, what happened this time.

Nothing "happened," Sir. You said there was no need to take hull-down positions.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Nutty's boss:

JAHSUS KEERYST NUTTY !

You were just supposed to help the army guys fix their coffee maker !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Sarge, you are always going on about when I say "whoa" I mean stop like right fu*king now. So you said whoa and I did exactly what you asked !

[Kiltrash]

Well the motoring and weather presenters did say to avoid unnecessary journeys.....Did the Colonels Chinese take away count as " Essential " ...

[Kiltrash]

Well i think that proves COVID DID affect Dominic's eyesight up here in County Durham..

[Kiltrash]

Right.. so we are to attack through the Ardennes forest, smash past the lightly defended American resting area and strike for Antwerp...All clear?? Anyone see any problems with the Furthers brilliant plan..

[sealo0]

You know this was so easy in Call of Duty, but in real life, however……..

[Buster Hyman]

"Well, I'm stumped. The tracks just stop here!"

[jetsreams]

1. BANKing on our LEAN organisational structure

[Ascend Charlie]

They played noughts and crosses until the tank woke up from its nap.

[Wensleydale]

It could be worse - there might be a photographer her...oh B*gg*r.

[SLXOwft]

See, it's a simple question of getting a long enough lever and a strong enough fulcrum as close a possible to the tank...

[SLXOwft]

So, next time, we all make sure Li doesn't hang his camera where it can get lodged behind the controls.

[NutLoose]

Well they did say there was a rapid turnover in this mans army.

[NutLoose]

Ok, it’s agreed, we will blame Clarkson and the slope on the bridge.

[NutLoose]

Ok, so I will tell you again, Red Flag is STOP, yellow flag is turn ABOUT.

[NutLoose]

Don’t worry about it, there is always a chink in our grand plans.

[Buster Hyman]

"Okay, so we're all agreed? We'll blame the rising middle classes that have betrayed the Party's goal of securing prosperity for Party Officials then"

[ShyTorque]

"When I said put the turret hatch down, what I actually meant was....."

OR:

"Yes, but why are we stuck to the ceiling?"

[SLXOwft]

tóng zhì mén, I think you may have misunderstood the difference between hull-down and turret-down.


https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/500x296/image_d6c937241bc64ae87fc70b52201e292fdd6e84eb.png

[SLXOwft]

Driver Xi was rapidly developing a reputation as the Richard Hammond of the PLA, but was known to be 'protected'.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Well look at the bright side, its so much easier to swab the main gun barrel now !

[Chu Chu]

With its ammunition supply cut off by the Kremlin, a Wagner unit prepares to fling rocks at army positions. [Whose army remains undecided . . .]

[Kiltrash]

...and if we wait till the enemy is at 143 degrees true at a range of 600 yards we might get one shot at them...

[Dan Gerous]

I think we should just walk away, and leave the tw*t in there.

[fdr]

"and now we will say it was repurposed as the company's treadmill..., any questions? "

[fdr]

the new take on playing dead had some implementation problems

[jolihokistix]

Brilliant plan!
Yes, I can see it now! First we get the Russians drunk.
Then we allow them to think that they are indeed going to be the ones to bring in the new world order...
And then we turn turtle. Hao, hao, zhen hao!

[Chu Chu]

You know those track parts we've been ordering to sell on craigslist? An inspector is coming next week to check the odometer.

Don't worry -- you can trust Uncle Sasha.

[Chu Chu]

Oh sh!t!! That cloud has a tank in it!!

That's not the worst part . . .

[Chu Chu]

Or:

What's that tank doing in that cloud?

. . . uh . . . uh . . .that's a rather difficult question, Sir.

[622]

Last orders ....judging tomorrow!

[cynicalint]

Well, we turned Hull upside down last night, Middlesbrough tomorrow?

[Buster Hyman]

"He says he identifies as a Turtle & he'd appreciate being helped up..."

[Wensleydale]

The next person who says "Use the Force, Luke" gets a good kicking!!!

[622]

OK, time to to put this crew out of it's misery..and 'tanks' for all the wonderful entries, judging was tough as always!

But these are what got the 622 sniggleometer moving:

In third place:
Sealo0 with: All we need now is a ukrainian tractor to come along! That would make our day.

Second goes to:
Chu Chu with: It says right here: "Tank is suitable for inverted operation." But what does "Usable capacity 87 liters" mean?.

But the winner is this for combining topical news (if you are in the UK!) with the cap com:
Killtrash with: Well someone HAS to present MOTD....shall we draw lots? Hoskins is excused as he has to write up a 47 page report to the Insurance company. .

Well done Killtrash, the CST will be dropped off later by the same crew, so please invert, knock out the dents and display for all to see!

[Kiltrash]

Many tanks 622. Will be along with a new pic after lunch...am 3 under through 8 so can't give upon that 😄

[treadigraph]

am 3 under through 8 so can't give upon that 😄

Is that a knitting instruction? :p

[Kiltrash]

Sorry for the delay, just home. Witnessed a fatal RTA on the way home so have been tied up with the aftermath ...at least my dash cam caught what happened with the 2 vehicles involved... A picture paints a 1000 words. So about to have a stiff one and then will pop one up shortly

[Confusious]

Sorry for the delay, just home. Witnessed a fatal RTA on the way home so have been tied up with the aftermath ...at least my dash cam caught what happened with the 2 vehicles involved... A picture paints a 1000 words. So about to have a stiff one and then will pop one up shortly
That's awful Kilty, make it a double and chill.

[Kiltrash]

Ok all. Have a go at this please ...

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/576x1280/screenshot_20230313_170435_a6326be7aaa13a817bf1b97512d410f17 4975ad0.png

[sealo0]

Lower

[Confusious]

"Ooooh, I think I've found your Top Gun."

[sealo0]

Lower
sorry I thought it was play your cards right!

maybe it was/is

[Confusious]

"0 - 60 in two seconds baby!"

"Yes I've heard."

[treadigraph]

Of course, the real love of my life is Iceman...

[Dan Gerous]

Dreaming of a night of passionate lovemaking, she failed to notice the rate at which insects were being ingested by her hero.

[Confusious]

"Oh Tom, you really have given me the best ride of my life."

[Self loading bear]

Hang on to me babe.

Yes I know how to hang onto, I have seen you hanging onto an A400.

[cynicalint]

Shouldn't you have closed the canopy before taking off?

[cynicalint]

Are you sure this is how you like your WSO to sit during flight, or just me?

[cynicalint]

God, I am SO bored!....

[Hydromet]

Would you like to hold the joystick?

[Ascend Charlie]

"Sweetie, If you are doing that for your country, that's good....if you are doing it for yourself, that's also good...but if you are doing it for me, a little bit faster please..."

[Hydromet]

"When you asked me if I'd like something hot and throbbing between my legs this wasn't what I expected."

[622]

Tom, it's stopped again ...you need to put another coin in ....can't you just get a real motorbike?

[sealo0]

Lost and found that Loving feeling

[sealo0]

This is what ‘ Takes my breath away,

[622]

As 'she' held on tightly ....Toms breath was indeed taken away as he felt her loving feeling growing and pressing into his back :uhoh: !!

(This Romantic fiction stuff is easy!! :E )

[622]

As he took Doris back home the morning after....she could confirm that 'little Tom' was not just referring to his height!

[Confusious]

The Goose that laid the golden egg.

[treadigraph]

Mav, be careful, my trousers stain easily!

Sorry am I going too fast for you?

No, it's a combination of oil and your old man's dribble...

[Buster Hyman]

Talk to me Goose! What do I do now?

[NutLoose]

Damn speed trap... give me flaps 5 love

[Buster Hyman]

Tom found a new bike to ride…

[Buster Hyman]

Stop whistling, I’m trying to concentrate…oh…

[NutLoose]

Yes I always hear it when you ride with me, it's rather like a blue note..

[Buster Hyman]

Wanna give the Tower a buzz? :E

[Buster Hyman]

You’ve lost that loving’ feeling…oh no, there it is…

[Buster Hyman]

“Call the Ball MAV!”
”Oh” (high pitched voice) “You got it!”

[Dan Gerous]

Babe if you love this, wait till you try my washing machine on spin.

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/576x1280/screenshot_20230313_170435_a6326be7aaa13a817bf1b97512d410f17 4975ad0.png

[sealo0]

In that box there a spanner
Ok found it, it's a bit small

[Buster Hyman]

It’s fine, my Husband’s Vision impaired…

[NutLoose]

There, you satisfied now?, you now have my helmet for safety

[cavuman1]

"Too close for guns! Switching to dildo!", said she, as Mav oofed in surprised satisfaction.

- Ed

[Big Pistons Forever]

Think bubble over her head

"I guess he will do until someone better comes along"

[Big Pistons Forever]

This is OK but I sure wish he would grow up and get a car.....

[ShyTorque]

"Tom, how much further before we're out of this inky black flood water?"

[Big Pistons Forever]

Think bubble over his head

"I love riding a motorcycle, it's better than sex, especially with her ...."

Think bubble over her head

"I love riding a motorcycle, it's better than sex, especially with him ...."

[Ascend Charlie]

(Her) "I didn't know motorbikes had a stick shift in the middle of the fuel tank? And it's heated, too!"
(Tom) "OK, first gear! Second! Third! 4th! 5th! 6th! 7,8,9,10,11,12th...oh yessss..."

[treadigraph]

Do you like having a throbbing monster between your thighs?

Oh yes, I'll be seeing him tonight...

[Confusious]

Tom got more than he bargained for during his trip to Thailand.

[NutLoose]

I wish he would add some patches to the back of his jacket, my bloody jumper is stuck to his velcro.

[NutLoose]

You have to admit Penny, a Minge'a on a Ninja sounds cool..

[NutLoose]

Hold on tight or the Penny may drop.

[fdr]

Speed kills!
Buy a Harley and live!

[SLXOwft]

Hard? 'eck that's well below where I'd engage

[Kiltrash]

Last orders . Gonna call when I have me breakfast on Thursday

[Dan Gerous]

A throbing and a knobing, stuff the fly-by. Best day ever!!!

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/576x1280/screenshot_20230313_170435_a6326be7aaa13a817bf1b97512d410f17 4975ad0.png

[Dan Gerous]

I'll tell you what Jen, I'm so glad you chose share.

[cynicalint]

Oh dear! this is nothing like what I imagined as a ride on the station bike

[Hydromet]

I told him I didn't have my menstrual cycle at the moment, so he offered me a ride on his Ninja.

[Wensleydale]

"Can I have a helmet?"

[Confusious]

"Hey Goose, check out my new bike."

"That's my chick Mav!"

[fdr]

Sigh, if he only liked me as much as he likes his ray bans.

[Buster Hyman]

"What do you mean, you thought I was Dennis Quaid?"

[treadigraph]

I'd take you up in my Mustang but you'd probably barf...

[Kiltrash]

.. an early entrant matched what I first through earns Treaders first prize

Of course, the real love of my life is Iceman...

with a runner up of 622 with ..

Tom, it's stopped again ...you need to put another coin in ....can't you just get a real motorbike?

Great effort however all round

[treadigraph]

Cheers Kilty! Let me have a quick rummage in the Google drawer and see what I can find...

[treadigraph]

Have a quick go with this, I'll call it sometime over the weekend...

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/860x504/pushups_2aba15af2877cd9955eb78429662af9740ea55f6.jpg

[Hydromet]

"Señor. I think the señorita, she ees gone."

[NutLoose]

Disability means testing post budget was proving difficult.

[NutLoose]

And of course, now as you age and your bowel control starts to fail, Brown is just so you Sir, shall I wrap them or will you just wear them?

[622]

Pvt Hoskins sets the new world record duration for the 'one arm press up position hold' at 63 years!

[Buster Hyman]

“Thunderbirds are…..oh crap, my back!”

[Buster Hyman]

Once a Sapper…

[Buster Hyman]

Too close for Hoover, switching to Dyson!

[622]

Its no good Matron .....we are going to have to reduce Berts Viagra allowance!

[NutLoose]

A one armed press up and the ability to masturbate at the same time.. well done Comrade, welcome to the Wagner PMC.

[Chu Chu]

After breaking both arms in his last fall, Joe was taking no chances.

[NutLoose]

What's that funny smearing effect around him?

He is from Chernobyl / He has has his Ready Brek.

[NutLoose]

Private Ernie Bilko the early years.

[622]

Private Godfrey shows Pike he's still got it in him!

[cavuman1]

"Hic... Holding down the floor is as difficult as holding up...hic...a wall!", whispered the inebriated Colonel.

- Ed

[NutLoose]

Biden in training for his next Air Force One trip..

[NutLoose]

Don't worry Mr Jones, we will adjust the mechanism in your seat riser so it is not so fierce next time.

[Kiltrash]

Sorry...late on Parade...been on the train,( remember them) from Luverpool to London and Beardy Branson's Wi Fi was down..

However ... On Coronation Day the Army Fitness Display Team show off their prowess on the Mall. Unfortunately the Horseguard troop was the one in front

[Kiltrash]

Col North at the Congress hearing shows just what he was doing while his assistant was at the shreader ..

[Kiltrash]

At the gym what you wear was not a issue

[Kiltrash]

At the Disability assessment the claimants physical ability was checked... subsequently allowed maximum allowance ...
( Pvt Hoskins cousin took the test )

[Kiltrash]

Later signed up as the one armed man... in The Fugitive

[Kiltrash]

When the Pardre was taken unexpectedly sick. Knew it was a mistake letting the RSM take the service...

[Kiltrash]

The mum later questioned exactly what happened to the child on the father's back...
( Admit it lads we have all done that..)

Ps about to be presented with our fourth grandchild next week 😊

[Ascend Charlie]

"No, the carpet still isn't dry from when I piddled on it yesterday."

[cynicalint]

Now, just once more!, I am Not non-binary! Now place your left hand on the floor and you will call me Sir or Ma'am, depending on my daily pronoun regime until the Air Force Board or Parliament comes up with a suitable salutation!,

[cynicalint]

OK, I can see my face in your trainers, but my hip has gone now help me up.

[cynicalint]

When I joined in '68 to fight in 'Nam, my Sgt told me to adopt the stance and hold until he came back - is the war over yet? And please don't tell him, I've been alternating arms every hour!

[cynicalint]

And it takes you all day to do what you used to do all day you're the oldest soldier in town...

[NutLoose]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/860x504/image_e711ef41622933671f56a996ccd031922dc4ac2c.jpeg

[NutLoose]

Clerk of the Court, will you please stop telling witnesses’s to put their hand on the bible and repeat after me, then whipping the bible away from old folk.

[Kiltrash]

The Force is strong in this one .

[Kiltrash]

During the one on one dogfighting exercise the one shot down had to do 200 push ups...as usual Kiltrash did not read the rules correctly and thought he could do 400 single handed press ups.

[Kiltrash]

The Chameleon Circuit naturally morphed into its surroundings

[Kiltrash]

The court was shown evidence that the Guard at the entrance to RAF Lakenheath was a bit wooden in his duties..

[Kiltrash]

...well gotta have somewhere to park your bike ..

[Wensleydale]

'e seems 'armless.

[Wensleydale]

The ex-marine failed to understand the greeting of "Gimme Five".

[Wensleydale]

He was dong fine until his false teeth dropped out.

[Wensleydale]

Unfortunately, dementia had taken hold and Donald Trump's feet were not really there.

[Buster Hyman]

The US Army finally retired Bert & his weaponised farts!

[Chu Chu]

That’s the nuclear triad. He’s doing MAD next.

[Kiltrash]

Crowds gathering on Weymouth Beach...as the judging of the Annual Sand Sculpture contest nears...

[Kiltrash]

Stand to attention you ' orrible little man...

[Kiltrash]

Harrods window dressing teams gather for the Summer collection exhibition

[Kiltrash]

Cpl Jones seeks to show Captain Mainwaring he is not ready to be put out to pasture...much to Pvt Fraser's displeasure