Caption Competition Mk III

[ShyTorque]

How long was the course? About twelve feet long, blue engineering bricks, three to one mortar mix.

[Kiltrash]

After Hoskins ' accidentally ' dropped a 250 kg bomb onto the MQ building at Cranwell he was encouraged to repair it himself....

[Kiltrash]

Arn"t you worried or scared??
No No No at the first sign of danger these goggles go completely dark.... got from Hank tbe Welder

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Erickson expand further into the construction business.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

I got the idea from some chaps in a castle who built a glider out of whatever they could find.

[andytug]

Bit late on the auto-rotate there, Hoskins....

[Kiltrash]

If this ' Falls Off ' the Carrier deck, can't see the Commies rushing to get there,

[MPN11]

BAe’s latest attempt to cement business partnerships with Airbus, Boeing … or anyone, really.

[Chu Chu]

We had to pull Hoskins off this model. He kept confusing the aggregate with the collective.

[Dan Gerous]

I'll judge now in case I can't later, and it will also give us time to get a new one for the weekend.

Runner up is Wensleydale with,
Chopped Jaguar pilot Brian had graduated from mud-moving to mud-mixing.

And the winner is Treadigraph with,
Sikorsky Pave Low - the early years..
It made me laugh anyway, and I also liked your Portland one.

Builders said they will definitely be round yours at 8 tomorrow morning with the trophy.

[treadigraph]

They've sent the mixer already! Many thanks, um, give this recent questionable occurrence a shot across the risers...

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1000x667/jacob_bail_copy_632708160200c4f3a318a3c1931683ece1beb71c.jpg

[Hydromet]

One giant step for man...

[cynicalint]

OMG! I've dropped the CST!

[NutLoose]

Bollox, I missed the pickle barrel..

[Self loading bear]

He said he lost the engine before he decided to bail out.
But as often in such problematic relationships there are two sides to the same story.
That was probably the wisest decision ever made,

by the engine, to leave him.

[Self loading bear]

This record breaking low level flying is under investigation by FAA.

[Buster Hyman]

Bit late on the Bail out there Hoskins...

[Buster Hyman]

1st rule of Smokejumping: Don't start another fire...

[Buster Hyman]

I saw them do this on Battlefield 2, oh crap. Forgot the RPG!

[Ascend Charlie]

In the low-budget follow-up Bond film, "Time to Die", George Lazenby, now 83, struggles to get out of the seat to dive after Jaws, to grab his parachute. Sadly, the budget didn't run to actual parachutes, as George will find out when he splats on top of Jaws.

[Kiltrash]

Wish someone would hurry up and invent Green Screen Technology

[Kiltrash]

Just popping out for a pint of milk darling, I might be sometime

[Wensleydale]

"Oi! Mate! You forgot your reserve chute!"

[Wensleydale]

"Now that was one hell of a fart"!!!

[Kiltrash]

Utuber deliberately crashes plane, ...don't believe everything you see...

[Kiltrash]

Sue Grey is determined to get her report to Downing Street despite the Met asking for another delay
or
There Ms Truss Opera house below, this is all the tax payer would allow

[Kiltrash]

Shouting. ..
What's the name of that blasted Indian??

[Wensleydale]

...Meanwhile...at decision height......another student pilot misreads his standby altimeter by 10,000 ft.....

[Kiltrash]

You know your in trouble when the Autopilot hands back control
or
Instructor " you have control "
or
" Mind the Gap "

[Kiltrash]

Get back in here, I did not say " Bums Away "

[Kiltrash]

Well I did pay extra for " Speedy Exit "
cr Ryanair

[cavuman1]

When one's bladder is bursting and one's empty milk bottle is back at the airport.

- Ed

[Local Variation]

Instructor to Student....'so that's the fanstop exercise over with. If you can get out and swing the prop, we'll head home for tea.'

[ShyTorque]

This thing's even slower than normal today....did I leave the chock in?

[MPN11]

“… and when leaving the aircraft please ensure you take all your personal possessions with you.”

[Chu Chu]

Since the FAA approved the use of drones for skydiving, the sport hasn't looked back.

[Chu Chu]

There were days when Hoskins wished he'd mounted the tank selector in the cockpit.

[Chu Chu]

I'm not saying the aircraft was underpowered, but there were times when you had to get out and push.

[Kiltrash]

Don't you think this is a bit extreme? ....I. mean just to avoid the Covid tests and hotel stay at the Airport ??

[Dan Gerous]

Noooo, I won't need a honk bag.

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1000x667/jacob_bail_copy_632708160200c4f3a318a3c1931683ece1beb71c.jpg

[MPN11]

"Damn ... where did I put that starter handle?"

[Dan Gerous]

Oi! Mate, is this the right way to Prestwick?

[Wensleydale]

Football transfer window time again....

[anotherthing]

Swansea Town fan chants "Let's all do a Sala, let's all do a Sala, na na na naaah, na na na naaah'"

[Kiltrash]

Well Scotty has promised he has ironed out the wrinkles in Beaming a moving object , mused Captain Kirk, just before the final test. ..

[Chu Chu]

Reaching back in, Hoskins pulls on the stick and demonstrates an outside loop.

[Kiltrash]

Shouting Are you OK??
.....well no not really, jumped out 5 minutes ago but my braces are caught on the door handle
or
...well no they banned display flights over tbe F1 Grand Prix but they said nothing about Bungee Jumps
or
...well no I'm a wing walker but someone stole tbe lower wing

[treadigraph]

I'll try and call it this evening around 8pm...

[MPN11]

UK’s Foreign Secretary regrets taking cheap option for overseas trip.

[NutLoose]

Oi comeback, your supposed to be flying me to Nebraska

[Big Pistons Forever]

Well, honey you said you wanted me gone…..

[Big Pistons Forever]

Geez, that’s harsh for someone who forgot their mask…..

[treadigraph]

OK, lots of goodies but my favourite is an early offering from cynicalint:

OMG! I've dropped the CST!

Congratulations! CST has been recovered, unlike the Taylorcraft, and subject to any FAA investigation should be with you shortly...

[cynicalint]

Just imagine it is a cockpit!...

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1333/_methode_times_prod_web_bin_d93d3998_7fbd_11ec_8532_85a58274 df7c_db8495a5cff9e1b29740f744fbc4cabdb6152fbc.jpg

[NutLoose]

What do you mean, during the war?

[NutLoose]

I know it's a self driving technology demonstator, but was the corpse neccessary?

[NutLoose]

Do you really think being seen with Santa is going to improve my survival chances?

[NutLoose]

Forget Covid mate, be careful who you finger or before you know it gangrene sets in

[NutLoose]

I'm not saying the missus is frigid, but I'm suffering from frostbite to the hands something wicked.

[MPN11]

"No, Mr Assange, I expect you to extradite yourself."

[622]

..If I just sit here and play dead...hopefully he will push off and annoy someone else!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Did you just say something about when you were on Lightnings?

[MPN11]

"Are you sure you're cut out for a job with Deliveroo?"

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

We're not sure what's wrong with him. He's been like that since we told him you were coming.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Yes sir, it's appears to be a new strain of Covid. We're thinking of calling it Andromeda. You may have heard of it?

[NutLoose]

Don't worry I am used to sitting next to dummies.

[Dan Gerous]

Oh come on, the G force isn't that strong.

[treadigraph]

Ejector seat? You're jokinggggggggggggggggggg....

[NutLoose]

Come on mate, Seriously, there must be a party somewhere we can go too

[NutLoose]

And your driver today Prime Minister will be crash test dummy no 5.

[NutLoose]

SNP? Yes, that figures.

[Kiltrash]

Well that's fecked British Leyland ( Truck ) division when they took on a new Head of Internal Affairs

[Kiltrash]

At the opening of Crossrail Elizabeth Line Purple train on the first service the PM was surprised to find a steering wheel.

[Kiltrash]

You say the Sue Gray report has been delivered to Downing Street? And there's me in Barnard Castle

[Kiltrash]

At Beckton Sewage works the new ' sh!t shoveler ' is presented to the press

[Kiltrash]

Mythbusters look for a new ' Buster ' .... and it's a short list of one

[treadigraph]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1333/_methode_times_prod_web_bin_d93d3998_7fbd_11ec_8532_85a58274 df7c_db8495a5cff9e1b29740f744fbc4cabdb6152fbc.jpg

[treadigraph]

Hmmm, maybe I should grow my hair longer... I like the tangled tresses look...

[fitliker]

Oh Trucking , I thought she said We was going f

[fitliker]

The modern safety gear makes it very difficult to hide , when you need to hide away from people who may have a different recollection of what you have just said .

If it dresses like a numpty , walks like a numpty , talks like a numpty , it might just be a numpty ,

[fitliker]

Some people will do anything to get away from the missus,

Long distance driving ,Just the perfect job for a man who may be tired of being home every night

[fitliker]

How do I tell him what I usually use that hat for when we cannot stop on the French roads ?

[Kiltrash]

Not even ( insert your own incompetent local council here ) would give this man a driving job on the refuse trucks ....

[Kiltrash]

...and back on a lighter note...
When the Autopilot saw who it was teamed up with on the flight to Ukraine, it switched off...

[Kiltrash]

At the resulting investigation the co pilot indicated the fault for the crash was the automoton following the Sat Nav sending them over the very weak bridge...

[MPN11]

Relax, Boris, he's got tens of thousands of hours on type.

[NutLoose]

What exactly do you mean by George the autopilot is deflating, you need to reinflate him?.... ahh I see, this reminds me of being a fag back at school...

[NutLoose]

I don't suppose you know Two Ton Tess from Teddington? he drives a bakers van..


​​​​​….

[NutLoose]

I've got a way with getting people to vote for me, watch.... listen to my voice, your eyes are getting heavy....and sleep, sleep.....

[NutLoose]

I bet you weren't expecting to see me here today, well frankly I wasn't either, but the buggers ousted me and one has to earn a crust somehow..

[Self loading bear]

Re-integration candidate has just been told by driving instructor how far the rules nowadays may be bend in your own favor.

[NutLoose]

I'm sorry you cannot get hold of your favourite chocolate confectionary at the moment, but it was felt that is was inappropriate having a confectionary aimed at children called Yorkie, the world is a fickle place as you probably know, I had to fight tooth and nail for my tailor to retain the right to use Saville Row in his advertising.

[Dan Gerous]

Hanson you say. Go on then, do MMMBop.

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1333/_methode_times_prod_web_bin_d93d3998_7fbd_11ec_8532_85a58274 df7c_db8495a5cff9e1b29740f744fbc4cabdb6152fbc.jpg

[NutLoose]

Don’t worry, it was only a cyclist and the new Highway Code doesn’t come into effect until midnight.

[NutLoose]

I must admit I felt like that too the first time Carrie stuck her love balls in me.

[treadigraph]

You think this is a big hole...

[Kiltrash]

Ah sorry, perhaps I should not have given you my last Rolo...

[NutLoose]

You want to get a haircut mate, all that weight is sliding it off the back of your head.

[Kiltrash]

Where ZZ Top got their inspiration for.. " Arrested for Driving While Blind "

[NutLoose]

Piles huh?

[ShyTorque]

They said “May God be your co-pilot”…..but somehow I don’t think that’s him!

[Local Variation]

'Unresponsive eh?...aah yes ha!, I like your deny everything modus operandi.'

[NutLoose]

I felt like that today after Starmar gave me a good shafting in the house.

[NutLoose]

I hope you don’t mind me hitching a lift with you chum, there’s a bit of a rumpus over using the private jet for government business.

[Ascend Charlie]

Old dude: (Leans back and...Pffffftttt...)
Boris: Omigawd, what are they feeding you in the old folks home???

[Kiltrash]

Look mate if you don't shut up, your boring me to death, I have a little red button on the top of the gear stick, you knob...

[Kiltrash]

BJ... Look I had more response from the Stig you know

[Kiltrash]

Look you might be my local MP and looking for my vote but don't you think giving me a Peerage might not be seen as a bit of Bribery and Corruption??
Oh no not at all, I have the Police Met Commissioner in my pocket, after all she does owe me a favour.
( as does the Home Secretary )

[Kiltrash]

Well that's unfortunate, Does anyone else know how to drive this thing..?..

[Buster Hyman]

Right! Want to join me on the Flying Fox?

[Buster Hyman]

So...what part of Stockholm are you from?

[Buster Hyman]

Did you try the Tim Tams? I did, but I feel it's only right to be loyal to the Penguin.

[Dan Gerous]

It's of paramount priority, that I apologise, and say sorry, as I'm sure I've screwed up something.

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1333/_methode_times_prod_web_bin_d93d3998_7fbd_11ec_8532_85a58274 df7c_db8495a5cff9e1b29740f744fbc4cabdb6152fbc.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

Did you just drive through my rhubarb patch?

[MPN11]

"What reindeer? Are you dreaming?"

[treadigraph]

Errrr, are you allowed to do that in here?

[OMAAbound]

Trucks by Airbus

RETARD, RETARD, RETARD

OMAA

[Dan Gerous]

Did you say strap in or strap on?

[inkworm]

How long are we going to sit here for?

[NutLoose]

Perhaps we shouldn't have had all those beers during lunch break, but we do it all the time back in No 10.

[Chu Chu]

Okay, the border queues are not ideal. But think how much you've saved on your barber bills.

[Kiltrash]

President Putin on the phone?? Dammit I knew I had something else to do, but a photo op, never miss one

[MPN11]

Driver: “Sorry, Mr. Hanson, I wasn’t there anyway.”

[Kiltrash]

This was just after the Driver confided to the PM That he is the secret live child of Jeremy Corbyn, has incurable cancer having been refused treatment due to Covid, his wife died on her own in her care home, as he headed at top speed towards the 300 foot drop over the Clifton Bridge. ...

[Kiltrash]

....and his line managers have been sexually assaulting his daughter ...

[NutLoose]

So if you pull up around the back, we will slip the kegs in through the garden, no one will notice.

[Kiltrash]

The driver is distraught when the examiner fails his driving test due to a untidy vehicle. .
Clean Car clean Mind was the comment used...

[Wensleydale]

I'd offer you a Yorkie Bar, but the BBC would think its a party.........

[cavuman1]

That look when one realizes that one has "followed through".

- Ed

[Chu Chu]

I see we've got cockpit visibility sorted.

[Self loading bear]

The driver is distraught when the examiner fails his driving test due to a untidy vehicle. .
Clean Car clean Mind was the comment used...

That was what my boss always said.
His car was always empty

[Self loading bear]

Driver of Heatrow’s Shollow Me car has just been pointed his spelling mistake ….
and the consequences

[Buster Hyman]

Weekend at Bernies III: The Party

[Ascend Charlie]

Boris: "Well, come on! I'm wearing my black cotton gloves so I won't mark the CST, so you had better announce me as winning this caption competition!"

[Kiltrash]

On their first day at the Quarry, Mr Slade gives Fred and Barney the PPE...

[Kiltrash]

Where Jim Hanson got his idea for " The Muppets Show "

[Kiltrash]

Having had their show cancelled by the BBC For no longer being compatable with the Corporations Ethics, Diversity and Wokness the hosts of Top Gear are only too glad to get any driving position.

[Buster Hyman]

...are we at 88mph yet?

[Kiltrash]

Look, i'm really impressed with your driving skills, if you fancy a change of career I have some unexpected oportunities arisen at Downing Street if you fancy helping to steer the ship through this stormy water...

[NutLoose]

So you’ve heard about the energy price cap removal.



https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1333/image_941f6cbe5603c3cdbb535de527968bff2e6810e2.jpeg

[NutLoose]

I wouldn’t turn the heater on mate, you can’t afford it.

[Kiltrash]

Well that's a start, Jim fixed it for me, now about my other slight problem, Jim? Jim,
Sorry PM Jimmy has passed away ...

[treadigraph]

I'm looking for a new political advisor, how about it handsome?

[Dan Gerous]

Hang on, you're not Sunak and Rabb. Where am I?

[Dan Gerous]

Hang on, didn't I see you earlier diging a ditch with a bulldozer?

[Dan Gerous]

You working class types really are a bunch of lazy oiks. Do any of you ever get your PPE dirty?

[NutLoose]

So how about it? a nice cushdy job at No10, I can't guarantee how long it will last though...

[MPN11]

"Sorry, you are really my father?"

[Kiltrash]

BJ....is he alright? He's not moving or speaking. .
Headless man on right, ...Sorry PM but he can't move or speak till the Sparrows have all fledged

[cynicalint]

Runner up with"Don,t know what's wrong with him! He's been like that since we told him you were coming"
is Traffic is er was.

Winner is Cavuman1 with"The feeling you get when you realise that you have followed through!"
CST being cleaned as we speak and will be clattered via Biffa when they get round to it!

[cavuman1]

I am honored, cynicalint! Stand by for a new challenge shortly; our internet is spotty due to recent inclement Wx of ice and snow.

- Ed

[cavuman1]

Alright Ladies and Gents! Have a go at this one:

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x618/couple_playing_propeller_plane_52006897_0d41e2c00a126ff07472 9875cb782649db4a8ed4.jpg
- Ed

[Hydromet]

"Hang about Gertrude, and I'll take you for a spin."

[Buster Hyman]

I think we're at cross purposes here...

[Buster Hyman]

Bertie. Is that a real engine, or just a prop?

[treadigraph]

You did turn the mags off didn't you?

[treadigraph]

When you said you'd give me a lift I thought you'd take me flying...

[treadigraph]

No Honey, it's a bi-PLANE. a bi-sexual is like your Uncle Quentin...

[Wensleydale]

"When you said that you would take me swinging, I thought it was something else..."

[Kiltrash]

Will you Marry me??
Its not Feb 29
Oh i'll have to hang on for a couple of years then

[Kiltrash]

Now will you belive your heavier than me??

[Kiltrash]

Cpl Klinger joins the Air Force

[Kiltrash]

That's another FINE mess you got me into

[Kiltrash]

Dick Dastardly finally gets Penelope Pitstop into a compromising position

[Kiltrash]

....well this is more fun than being teamed with that stupid Mutt

[Self loading bear]

If you hold on some more, my co-pilot will show you the working principle of the machine gun synchronization.

or

You did not understand me correctly when I explained the machine gun synchronization to you last month.
You were not supposed to get shot-up-with-child by my co-pilot while I was away.
I will explain more clearly again.

[ShyTorque]

“I knew getting hitched would hold me back!”

[ShyTorque]

“When I said retard the ignition, that’s not what I meant!”

[Dan Gerous]

That wasn't what I meant when I said we need an improvement on the drag George!

[Kiltrash]

At Croydon, Treadigraphs parents first gazed lovingly into each others eyes

[NutLoose]

Geez, that’s the biggest bird strike I’ve ever seen.

[NutLoose]

Is this what is meant by pulling through?

[NutLoose]

Yes we pull it through like this to remove oil from her bores, is it working?

[NutLoose]

Penelope pitstop preps her aircraft.

[Chu Chu]

But this is clockwise.

[Chu Chu]

And there I was, hanging on the prop . . .

[ShyTorque]

"No, Doris, you don't really have to wind it up - only model aircraft have a rubber band motor".

[Chu Chu]

"Now remember, only one turn -- the motor mounts can't take any more."

(Looking up) "Joe, ready on the trapeze?"

[Chu Chu]

When you said airscrew, I was thinking mile-high club.

[Buster Hyman]

I think we know what happened to Amelia Earhart now.

[Buster Hyman]

Seconds later, the nose art idea is born...

[treadigraph]

Seconds later, the nose art idea is born...

Andy Warhol invents prop art...

[treadigraph]

a good pull-through will clear all the oil from your lowest cylinder...

[MPN11]

You give me wings!”

”Well, thank you, Mr. Tena!”

[fitliker]

First lesson always treat the propeller as something that can do you damage .

With a grip like that , if she gets a hold on your wallet , sporran or gear , you can expect some pain .

[MPN11]

“I thought you said you were a Prop Forward for England?”

[Kiltrash]

“I thought you said you were a Prop Forward for England?”

Sorry MPN but I'm just back from Murrayfield 😊

...and before I return you to your normal programme

Oh Captain Flasheart, when you said you woke up every day with a piece of Hardwood it was not what I expected

[Big Pistons Forever]

No Boris, I am Sue Grey and I am not going to let you swing your way out of this mess !

[Kiltrash]

The Hostie helps prepare the morning flight from Renfrew, don't help when the Pilot has a All You Can Eat Scottish breakfast

[Kiltrash]

Well before you have a go at the World Record for Solo Female Circumnavigation of the Globe, you need to learn how to start the engine. ..
1/ find a big burly bloke and flash your . ( censored )

[Chu Chu]

When I said it was a tail dragger, I was referring to the configuration of the landing gear.

[Wensleydale]

Charlotte was excited to be learning all about Suck, Squeeze, and Bang, but she would be disappointed to discover that the cycle ended in Puff.

[ShyTorque]

“I do wish someone would hurry up and invent the tricycle undercarriage……”

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Identity of Aussie PPruner Clare Prop is finally revealed.

[Kiltrash]

Now remember Dorothy, click your heals 3 times and you'll be back in Kansas

[Chu Chu]

Don't tell me she's NACAd up again.

[cynicalint]

When I let go, you hold on and let's see how far the prop flicks you

[Kiltrash]

Remember don't Cock your thumbs over
Why?
On kickback you'll soon see why

one for the old timers whose car came with a starting handle...ouch still painful memories

[MPN11]

So this is your idea of me being a Movie prop?

[Chu Chu]

Only a man would pull on the sharp edge of the prop.

[Kiltrash]

Michael Caine voice..... you know the rest 😁

is it me or is her leg shadow in white??

[cavuman1]

Great job by all so far. If I can find a starter cart or a cartridge for the Coffmann starter, I'll give judging a whirl proximal to 2100Z tomorrow. We'll get her off the ground yet - keep the funny stuff coming!

- Ed


https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x618/couple_playing_propeller_plane_52006897_2ecdcd05e50e62e73d8e a471ea47a1cb75cd90e1.jpg

[MPN11]

Chuck approved of the new uniform. Maisie was less impressed by her option, due to the draughts.

[Kiltrash]

If only someone would invent a starter button

[Kiltrash]

Keep your legs closed lassie, one hell of a whine....

[Kiltrash]

The whiteboard in the background? That's for my shopping list in case I forget ...erm...what was I saying??

[Kiltrash]

Keep holding on and i'll get you up to the top wing and strap yourself in for the display....Now who pinched the 'effin ladder

[Kiltrash]

That's the problem with 2 stroke engines, they can run either way round ....handy if you want to fly backwards. Especially usefull for the French / Italian Air Force

[MPN11]

“This baby has a Liberty engine … what are you wearing?”

[Chu Chu]

Yes, I did say you'd have to do it backwards in high heels. But I meant the dance sequence.

[Chu Chu]

It feels like it's been my turn forever. Are you sure this a reciprocating engine?

[MPN11]

If you scream, will it be Fine Pitch or … preferably … Coarse Pitch?

[NutLoose]

You were the one that said fancy taking me for a spin.

[Buster Hyman]

Hmmm, that seemed to fix the whistling, but there's a whine coming from somewhere now...

[Kiltrash]

Rough and ready " Weights and Balance " process when no one can find the scales, as devised by Ms Abbott. ..

[Kiltrash]

Crew chief....theres bl@@by Hoskins again, always ar$ing about ...
or
Camilla gets a unexpected promotion to Queen...
or
There 2 meter separation, now slide down and our lips can finally meet when all restrictions are relaxed

[Kiltrash]

While gazing at his beloved Dorothy Pilot Pprune was the first to spot the in comming Japanese Torpedo Bombers .... however thought it was a flight of B17's from the mainland.
Now if only he had paid more attention to Aircraft Recognition 101 the outcome could have been different

[OMAAbound]

"I won't tell you again Margery, the washing line needs to be at least this high for it to dry properly!"

OMAA

[Dan Gerous]

Get your dress off Ethel.
Oh George, at last, ravish me!
Oh shut up woman, I forgot my parachute.

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x618/couple_playing_propeller_plane_52006897_2ecdcd05e50e62e73d8e a471ea47a1cb75cd90e1.jpg

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Contact!
Not really!

[Kiltrash]

At the XH558 Hanger Charity fund push-a-long the plans do not quite go according to plan.
or
Normally when we have a Tug - o - war we use a rope
or
These Divorce proceedings where the assets are divided up 'Fairly' might take a long time
or ( and Finally)
Ah you fell for the old trick when Chiefy sends you to stores for a ' Invisible Stand '

[MPN11]

“Stop calling me Penelope Pit-Prop”

[NutLoose]

You dirty Fokker…

[cavuman1]

May I say that I deeply value the humo(u)rous contributions of all. You who are kind enough to give laughter freely. We are friends, no matter how anonymous or far away. Well Done!

Honorable Mentions have been earned by Buster Hyman, treadigraph, Wensleydale, Kiltrash, Self loading bear, ShyTorque, Dan Gerous, Nutloose, Chu Chu, MPN11, fitliker, Big Pistons Forever, Traffic Is Er Was, and cynicalint.

Those awards notwithstanding, this particular competition is won by (wobble boards accompanied by didgeridoos with resounding cries of Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Au, Au, Au!) Hydromet with the first entry: "Hang about Gertrude, and I'll take you for a spin."

Good Onya Mate, and those you love!

With one final ooompf, Gertrude and Kev rip the Hispano-Suiza engine from its mounts, revealing the golden Coffman Starter Trophy, which, having been placed in the pouch of a passing Skippy, shall be delivered to your doorstep forthwith!

- Ed

[Hydromet]

Why, thank you, Cavuman. There were many excellent entries, so I'm honoured to be in such esteemed company.

Have a go at this one, ladies & gentleman.

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/900x663/oblique_wing_unique_plane_72d7a61b4acbf62e6ceee0a7d66e56ee30 c5d239.jpg

[fitliker]

Makes cross wind landings a doddle , so easy you can even land in a gusting cross wind without fear of looking like a tomato

[fitliker]

Building a home built aircraft in your two car garage does require some compromises, but everything else is almost straight , hammer to fit and file to finish !

[cavuman1]

If it looks right, it flies right. (Sounds of crumpling metal and explosion followed by sirens.)

- Ed

[Ascend Charlie]

The last photo of the joint UK / France project XV-1 , taken as the fixed-wing transitioned into a rotary wing, and the vertical fin was severed. Wing length was designed in France in centimetres, manufactured in UK in inches. Buggah!

[Buster Hyman]

Hoskins. Might I suggest you restudy that section on AoA again...

[Buster Hyman]

One tree! There was just one tree in this desert & you hit it! Good luck finding another one to straighten your wing!

[fitliker]

The early chemtrails experiments created huge distortions in the time space continuum, some parts of the aircraft arrived before they departed .

[fitliker]

When designers drop too much acid in their youth , you get the Aircraft equivalent of the Philadelphia Experiment , and if it crashes it can always be blamed on pilot error . He erred by attempting to fly something that looked liked the fruit of two close cousins .

[Kiltrash]

Having been deposed as Worlds No 1, MVG clutches at straws to help his ' arrows ' fly straight

[Kiltrash]

Wow, that was lucky, just took off in time as the fierce Dust Storm crossed Montana

[Kiltrash]

Wilbur goes back to the drawing board and realised page 3 of ' Flying for Dummies' was missing

[Ascend Charlie]

Flying over the buried magnetic field kept the wing flying straight, but the fuselage yawed like a bastard. Musta been the pilot's watch.

[Kiltrash]

Renowned Chinese Aircraft Designer Wan Winglo magnificent effort takes to the skies
or
Calls out Who the , **** forgot the Canopy..., not noticing the Elephant in the room

[622]

Hoskins combined his two great loves....flying and water divining!

[treadigraph]

Edwards, this is NASA 805, there seems to a problem with the yaw string...

[Dan Gerous]

Tower, can confirm airborne, now into "the prayer" part of the programme.

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/900x663/oblique_wing_unique_plane_72d7a61b4acbf62e6ceee0a7d66e56ee30 c5d239.jpg

[Kiltrash]

Early design for the Lockheed U1.5 does not show up on frontal radar
or
Early design for the Grumman F13 variable geometry wing needs more design imput
or
The Four Nation design for the Swing Wing MRCA descide to drop Ireland from the planning committee

[Kiltrash]

US General to Air Force Major....
Hoskins has stolen the ****it Prototype and is deserting to Russia, should we not send up the Interceptors??
AF Major, no thats part of the plan to put the Soviets programme back decades

[MPN11]

Numerous complaints were received about the misprint in the Airfix assembly instructions.

[Ninthace]

Hoskins flew on regardless, pondering the shiny big metal pin and attached flag in the cockpit pocket and wondering what it was for.

[Ninthace]

A bit heavy kicking off the drift in that last landing Hoskins!

[MPN11]

“NO, NO, NO. Hoskins, don’t try flying it backwards … over.”

[Chu Chu]

If we make the aircraft into an X, maybe the navigator will be able to put it on the map.

[Chu Chu]

How does the future look?

Oh, bleak.

[treadigraph]

In an early treatment for Starwars, the X Wing Starfighter was conceived as the Slash Wing Starfighter...