Caption Competition Mk III

[Buster Hyman]

"LA Centre, Aspen 20. Can you give me a ground speed check?"

[Buster Hyman]

Does it look like a Shark with a friggin Laser beam on its head? Try again!

[Buster Hyman]

Honestly Brian, what on Earth would you grapple at 1900kts???

[Buster Hyman]

Always the prankster, Brian figured that Doris would never find her Epilady there!

[Kiltrash]

After its earlier success, Mercedes sub contracts it's wind tunnel to NASA...

[Kiltrash]

At Liverpool University, Jasper Carrot wonders what happened to his Lada.

[Kiltrash]

Well yes it does have the radar profile of a small Hummingbird, now pop over to Aintree and see if we can find some Pilots.

[Kiltrash]

Having tunnelled out of Stag Luft 111, McQueen was must surprised to come out in one of Herr Hitler secret Vengeance weapons facilities

[treadigraph]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/948x796/yf_12_aircraft_model_in_the_10x10_foot_wind_tunnel_79a5ef_b6 9e3214243a8e09a29df24cc81b6a7def096420.jpg

[treadigraph]

Gillette's new Mach 3+ razor...

[NutLoose]

The design was delayed several years while Black and Decker came up with an electric drill big enough to mount the wind tunnel model on.

[622]

So let me get this straight Hoskins....
...Birds are caught on the 'skewers' at low level....then cooked perectly during the High speed/altitude cruise...and then eaten by aircrew on return thus saving money on catering....

...Hoskins, you are a complete...........GENIUS!!

[622]

Prizes on the generation game were cetainly getting more Hi-tek .....hope they still have the cuddly toy!!

(One for the Brtitish TV viewers of a certain age!)

[NutLoose]

Ah I see the problem, when we sent out the specs demanding a radar cross section equivalent to 10th of the current aircraft, we never envisaged that BAe would simply shrink the aircraft and skimp over the fact it was to be manned.

[NutLoose]

I told you to treat it like woollens, a 70 degrees wash was to hot for it, the bloody thing has shrunk...


​​​​​….

[MPN11]

Engineers were still struggling too find a way to incorporate a Sky satellite dish into the intake shock cones.

[NutLoose]

We got the idea for the port engine weaponary from the Dalek's

[treadigraph]

Not a caption:

Is that John Young in picture of the same wind tunnel tests below below? Sure looks rather like him and that looks like a NASA patch on his flying suit.

https://rollingsteel.it/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/sr-71-galleria-del-vento-103.jpg

[Buster Hyman]

No Mr. Bondic, I expect you to dry!

[Kiltrash]

Now if only Kodak would invent color film.

[Kiltrash]

The Farnbough wind tunnel might need an additional Turbine

[Kiltrash]

Hurry up, your times up, we have Sky ( Ineos) booked for the next session...
or
Solvite need to test their latest wig adhesive, and I'm ready to go.

[NutLoose]

This year we should take the trophy at the Boonta Eve Podrace.

[622]

(Time to take this into the gutter .....)

Not the kind of blowjob I was looking for thought Hoskins as he approached the glory hole in cubicle 2

[fdr]

"flutter isn't a problem, the rack should shed all the hats and coats by Mach 1... "

[Kiltrash]

While idlying watching the World go past the Cupola, Cosmonaut first class Sergio Hoskins was surprised to see the SR72 set a new Altitude record..

[DirtyProp]

This new barbecue from Weber certainly looks impressive but how does it work exactly?

[NutLoose]

That’s what you get when you put a team on the pitot head position.

[Kiltrash]

Alice was later heard to comment that no one would ever believe what she saw through the Looking Glass...

[Kiltrash]

During an announced visit to Area 51 ( that clearly does not exist ) the President was heard to ask why he was never told about the Alien Craft... Plausible Deniability..

[Kiltrash]

Later asked why it was so small the Tupelov Design team later realised their mistake. They assumed the Airfix model kit their spy sent them was 1:1

[622]

Eric had the nagging feeling that his last issue of 'Build your own SR71' had been mixed up with his wifes 'Build your own blender'

[Kiltrash]

Mav looked down on the set of Top Gun 3 and finally found a aircraft that fitted him like a glove.

[Kiltrash]

Head of the design team later regretted encouraging his Committee to ' Think outside the box '

[622]

Well how the hell did we know he had a lisp when he said he wanted to do a 'wisk weview' of the port engine performance at all settings .....

[treadigraph]

Choose your next witticism carefully, Mr Bond, it is likely to be your last...

[treadigraph]

We think there's been some misunderstanding of the requirements for a blended wing...

[Dan Gerous]

Some cracking entries so far. I'll judge Wed evening.

[Kiltrash]

As Jacques Cousteau looked out of his Bathysphere he was very surprised to find what he was actually looking for after only 2 days. Now to move onto finding MH990??

[Chu Chu]

Wind tunnel results look good. As soon as the lab finishes the miniature Hoskins, we can test whether the spiked fence keeps him away from the intake.

[NutLoose]

OK, Ok I get it, No smoking in the workplace, only outside in designated areas, but it's a bloody wind tunnel, how the heck are we supposed to see the airflow over the model?

[NutLoose]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/948x796/yf_12_aircraft_model_in_the_10x10_foot_wind_tunnel_79a5ef_b6 9e3214243a8e09a29df24cc81b6a7def096420_27d4a01dea7c026e8e889 810e19d0e5b72356229.jpg

[fitliker]

The hot dog bun steamer conversion to ionic vacuum advancer beam created such a large hole in the time space continuum that this was the last photo before it disappeared into hyperspace . Perhaps better modulation of the dilithium crystals might make it more stable into the hyper drive range vacuum range envelope . Creating a more stable space for rapid hyper space light speed travel . Folding the space was the trick , unfortunately they have not found a way back yet . Their voyage is continuing, should be back for lunch next Tuesday as someone’s last words were something about “see you next Tuesday “

[NutLoose]

They say if we do not release them they are going to destroy the Earth

[Ascend Charlie]

Luckily, the robotic vacuum cleaner, which had gone insane, wasn't able to get out of the hallway, but the people trapped in their rooms were getting desperate for a wee.

[622]

In the remake of Fantastic voyage: 'Fantastic Voyage 2 - this time we are going up!'.... the stunt double was praying they still had a few more miniturisation cycles to go through before the Enima was inserted!

[MPN11]

“It’s a big hole for a window, a giant leap in miniaturisation.”

[SLXOwft]

Early misunderstanding over the A-12 designation lead to testing of a number of bizarre designs for mounting a hypersonic canon.

[SLXOwft]

Testing of means to counteract the high speed yaw tendency of the sole SR-71C, aka The Bastard, was ultimately unsuccessful.

[Dan Gerous]

Judgement day,

Mentions In Disgrace for Kiltrash with "Having tunnelled out of Stag Luft 111, McQueen was must surprised to come out in one of Herr Hitler secret Vengeance weapons facilities", and 622 with "Eric had the nagging feeling that his last issue of 'Build your own SR71' had been mixed up with his wifes 'Build your own blender".

Runner up Treadigraph with "Lockheed's plans to adapt the Fulton system for rapid hot extractions undergo early tests..."

Winner is Buster with "Honestly Brian, what on Earth would you grapple at 1900kts???.

Over to you Buster.

[Self loading bear]

You Shirley meant to say:
“Will see you at lunch last Tuesday?”

The hot dog bun steamer conversion to ionic vacuum advancer beam created such a large hole in the time space continuum that this was the last photo before it disappeared into hyperspace . Perhaps better modulation of the dilithium crystals might make it more stable into the hyper drive range vacuum range envelope . Creating a more stable space for rapid hyper space light speed travel . Folding the space was the trick , unfortunately they have not found a way back yet . Their voyage is continuing, should be back for lunch next Tuesday as someone’s last words were something about “see you next Tuesday “

[Buster Hyman]

Cheers Dan. :ok:

Lets stick with the Man of the moment eh!


https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/980x512/origin_0d22217dacb75067636bdca81e8a437c5583e2f8.jpg

[sealo0]

Cheers Dan. :ok:

Lets stick with the Man of the moment eh!


https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/980x512/origin_0d22217dacb75067636bdca81e8a437c5583e2f8.jpg
Cap't Pugwash watching his ship sinking

Mike

[MPN11]

"So where is the Mockba?"

[NutLoose]

One last glimpse back at Mother Russia as he sails off into exile in Iran.

[NutLoose]

We need more speed, Lavrov, row quicker.....

[treadigraph]

Last of the Mokvacans...

[treadigraph]

A l'eau c'est l'heure...

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Quiet corner of the bridge, try not to catch anyone's eye, trousers down, this shouldn't take long. It's a lonely life at sea.
Mr Putin!
Damn Yes?
Captain's compliments. We're about to leave harbour sir!

[622]

'Putin' on a brave face!

[622]

Last of the available conscripts joins the fight!

[NutLoose]

Why is the horizon at an angle? oh ****, it's us, abandon ship...

[treadigraph]

Oh fer chrissakes, someone buy him an ice cream or this sulk'll last all day...

Or...

After being deprived of a Cornish pasty during a break at the seaside, Putin as so furious that he concentrated all his armed forces on the seagull population worldwide...

[NutLoose]

Shhhh, don't tell him we are diving, make excuses, such as I am just nipping to the toilet / getting a cofee comrade etc, then when he is on his own we will crash dive..

[622]

"Why the worried face Comrade leader?"

"I can't remember if I left the gas on this morning"


(With reference to current issues re energy supply.....)

[NutLoose]

All this way to hide a submarine in a river........

We're miles from the nearest naval base,

The last place that satellites will ever look.

I grew up around here.

My grandfather taught me to fish off that island right over there.

[MPN11]

“I wonder what Nelson would have done?”

[MPN11]

“ There are some days when I just don’t feel like singing sea shanties.”

[MPN11]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/980x512/origin_0d22217dacb75067636bdca81e8a437c5583e2f8.jpg

[MPN11]

“I wonder which one of these knobs and levers starts WW3 … let me see … “

[MPN11]

“I want one of those huge Admirals Hats, not this cheap and nasty chip-bag.”

[622]

Comrade Captain....are you going to tell him or should I that we have toilets inside!

[NutLoose]

“I wonder which one of these knobs and levers starts WW3 … let me see … “

The big one in the hat.

[cynicalint]

Putin tries to ignore the yellow card shown by the Dumas

[Kiltrash]

At the Naval Academy the daily dunce is made to wear the funny hat and stand in the corner.

[Kiltrash]

No Sergio it's not a good idea to creep up behind him and pop the balloon .

[Kiltrash]

His doctors recommended a quiet peacefull cruise taking in the sea air off Sochi,... looking at his disused F1 circuit

[Kiltrash]

Wondering where his promised flotilla of Destroyers and Frigates suddenly went, noticed they were replaced by a ring of 12, I think , Akula class submerged attack Subs

[Kiltrash]

Early picture emerges of the resident KGB Officer on Red October....and we all know what happened to him

[ShyTorque]

“I see no ships! Or tanks, for that matter….”

[NutLoose]

Ok, enough with the photos in uniform, can I take my shirt off now?

[NutLoose]

It’s ok the crew cannot see you, suck it Dmitry.

[NutLoose]

And when we get back, remind me to ask Sergei what happened to the funding for the enclosed bridge.

[Dan Gerous]

This would be a good pose for a new russian stamp.

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/980x512/origin_0d22217dacb75067636bdca81e8a437c5583e2f8.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

"Everyone else, full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes".

[NutLoose]

Nein, our Navy uniforms do not look like those of an SS tank crew.

[MPN11]

“Ah, the sea is so calm, just like it was when the Moskva sank. I wonder what really happened?”

[MPN11]

“I don’t need to wear uniform. Just a hat, with a badge, so that people know they should salute me.”

[MPN11]

# “And now I am the ruler of the Russian Neyveeee.”

[treadigraph]

I am the very model of a self-deluded Admiral
With a Napoleon complex acquired through diseases quite venerial

With fervent apologies to Flanders and Swann. Errr... Gilbert O'Sullivan... errr...

[Kiltrash]

Damm, the British Prime Minister got to quit and his present to himself was to pilot a RAF Fast Jet....Now I think I'll command a Soyuz next ...

[Kiltrash]

The Model Boat society on Croydon lakes descide it's time to annex Peckham

[Kiltrash]

P&O Cross Channel ferries are asked to explain just where they recruited the Agency staff

[Kiltrash]

The Presidential Official Food Taster was heard to exclaim... Oh goody, Spinach ...again.

[Dan Gerous]

Papa, you said one day this would all be Yuri's. Well where's Yuri now!

[Ascend Charlie]

They draped the skin of a dead albatross across his shoulders and banished him to the fishing tinny.

"This is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but a simper..."

[cynicalint]

Get the Infantry to do drill on that nice flat sea!

[fdr]

The bathroom in the Dear Leaders Sochi weekender really catered for flights of fancy.

[Self loading bear]

Attention!
Fag officer on the bridge!

[Hydromet]

Hellooo sailor.

[andytug]

Fearing that the Thatcher cosplay wasn't enough, Liz Truss has drastic plastic surgery to look like a strong leader...

[Kiltrash]

Yes i know we ' borrowed ' a Cruiser from the Italians to replace Moskva, is that why the Engine room Telegraph has 6 reverse gears? ...

[Kiltrash]

Ensign Hoskinski made full use of his uncanny likeness to the President to ensure he always got the cushty assignments. Lookout on the Moskva, what could possibly go wrong.

[Kiltrash]

As the Sonar was giving intermittent outages, the lookout, Vasilly, was tasked to shout PING every 15 seconds

[Kiltrash]

Yes, this IS my best side, you dont wanna get on the other side of me

[NutLoose]

Are you sure this publicity stunt will work comrade?
Yes Mr President, everyone loves a sailor.

[MPN11]

Vlad contemplates applying to join the British Commonwealth ... then his gender-neutral athletes could sweep the medal awards at the next Games.

[622]

In another show of lunacy ......VP denies global warming is an issue whilst standing on the 4th floor balcony of the Kremlin!

[622]

No Sergie, just because he has 'Special Operation' ...we don't need to put pink curtains in his cabin!

[622]

Captain...the west has gone too far now.....
First they say I'm mad, then they oppose my Ukraine operation.....then they supply weapons....
...but now, they use me in Caption comp......train all your guns on PPRuNe towers and let loose!

[NutLoose]

Sorry, they were all out of Siberian Wolf fur, so you will have to make do with Grey Squirrel.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/980x512/origin_0d22217dacb75067636bdca81e8a437c5583e2f8_478e3cbaa01f fd576a8b540c87872160af8a2cec.jpg

It's the British Sir, they decided the Penal colony you would serve out the rest of your life and I hear Australia isn't that bad.

[NutLoose]

It's a whale, I need a couple of Harpoons..

Gulp....Ukraine has signalled and they are on the way Sir.

[NutLoose]

Your turn in the barrel Sir..
But I am your Commander in Chief..
Well, you might not realise it, but you have been well and truly shafted since February, so another day won't matter.

[Thud_and_Blunder]

If only VPs last reported words were:

"So you say the Ukrainians can get 7 HIMARS to hit one bridge? Well, let's see if they can do it when the bridge is moving.."

(PS - Nutloose, I believe they refer to that lining material as "fish-fur")

[treadigraph]

It takes a big man to admit that he's wrong. Good job I'm a short arse then...

[NutLoose]

We better not stray to close to the Ukrainian coast Sir, we've heard they've had their Weetabix

[NutLoose]

Yup, testicles still there.

[NutLoose]

Bloody Aussies. they cancelled Neighbours, why can't we do it just as easy.

[Kiltrash]

UP Periscope orderred the Captain...Putin was MOST surprised

[Kiltrash]

While relaxing on the Cruise Shop, the ventriloquist was upset when he had to take the stage with Orville.

[MPN11]

UP Periscope orderred the Captain...Putin was MOST surprised
Bridge … Port lookout here … periscope Red 40.

Bridge … Port lookout … request President’s Butler with change of underwear.

[Kiltrash]

....was most miffed to discover the ship was in International Waters. ...and so was unable to receive the last ever episode of Neighbours.

[Kiltrash]

No sorry Mr President, if you don't like Potato Soup for the mess dinner I'm sure we can get chef to rustle up a Chicken Bhuna.
.. just don't tell the (wo)men...

[Kiltrash]

...and last from me for a couple of days I'm at the airport off to Milan.

Mr President please come back inside, and we promise not to show Day of the Jackel on movie night again ...

[SLXOwft]

While Truss plays at being Maggie Thatcher, Vlad plays at being Peter the Great.

[NutLoose]

And a request has come in from leading stoker Dmitry from the Kherson region for our beloved President and the tune he has selected is that old Simon and Garfunkel favourite, like a Bridge over Troubled Water.

[NutLoose]

Dive dive dive…. But we’re on a missile cruiser….. that does not make a difference in this mans navy.

[NutLoose]

The feeling you get when you have played musical chairs with all your generals and oligarchs and you’re the last one left.

[Ascend Charlie]

"That Daniel Craig has nothing on me - the name's Bond, Vladimir Bond..."

[cavuman1]

The most reprehensible man on Earth stands on the bridge of an unnamed ship. (I cannot find anything humorous about the man or the photo.)

- Ed

[NutLoose]

Command is a lonely place, especially when all my senior staff have fallen out of windows.

[Hydromet]

I know Charlie Chaplin made fun of Hitler, but that Capcom mob wouldn't dare to do the same to me.

[treadigraph]

I need to look pensive, stern and resolute, eh? That puts rather a strain on my facial features. How's this? Pensive, stern and resolute or do I look like one of those dummies from Thunderbirds?

[treadigraph]

All the nice boys love a sailor tra la... Girls! I meant girls...

[Wensleydale]

Why have they re-named the ship "The Ritz"?

[Confusious]

Some b@#£%rd stole the radios out of my aircraft, now this is how I have to travel.

[treadigraph]

I've thrown my toys out of the pram, even my drum and train
I want to make some noise with real live aeroplanes
Some day I'm going to be in charge of all Europe too
And when I do, how would you like to be my crew?

On The Good Ship Lollipop
It's a sweet trip for a Commie tw*t
Where Cossacks play
On the Black Sea by Idokopas Bay

[MPN11]

:ok: :ok: :ok:

[fdr]

"the hand shaking started after we landed in Crimea.... "
"Yes Sir;" "You may have to get yourself a new line of work. This one doesn’t seem to agree with you anymore.”

[apologies to T/ Sgt Mike Horvath]

[Kiltrash]

Very good Sergi, but remind me again just how exactly you got the Moskva into Lake Como?

[Kiltrash]

While on his holiday he was almost pleased to actually see Nessie.

[Kiltrash]

What do you mean i can't get off the cruise ship, don't you know who I am??
See told you dementia made them forget who they are...

[Kiltrash]

In the UK every Sunday morning angry old ex military types are found messing about with model boats in all council owned parks....this proves it's also found round the World

[Buster Hyman]

Ok. That'll be enough of Vlad the Imbecile!

My personal choice would've been: Is that a Tractor on the Horizon?

In third place with the Captain Obvious award...:ok:
"So where is the Mockba?"

Second place withe the Sailors Lament award...
“ There are some days when I just don’t feel like singing sea shanties.”

But, our winner with the Comic Opera that would be funny if it was fictional...
I am the very model of a self-deluded Admiral
With a Napoleon complex acquired through diseases quite venerial

[Confusious]

2000 mile round trip for a BigMac, Fries and a McFlurry.

[treadigraph]

Cheers Buster!

Have a go with this for a couple of days:

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/640x480/1641719425_elephant_attack_the_helicopter_very_funny_video_f 0_9f_98_82_f0_9f_98_82_f0_9f_98_82_f0_9f_98_82_f0_9f_98_82_f 0_9f_98_81_hires_55ab74aaa4e36f3ee395d927fdc53d0a6c31ce21.jp g

[MPN11]

The flight was soon truncated

[andytug]

Another reminder that gazelles rarely win against elephants.....

[MPN11]

“I think we may need a Chinook to shift this one.”

[Buster Hyman]

Did he just say he's not an Animal?

[Buster Hyman]

Ahh, this takes me back to Da Nang!

[cavuman1]

"I've run out of right pedal!"

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

Prince Harry goes on a Safari....well until Meghan took control of his life...

[Kiltrash]

I sure hope he's not feeling Horny, she bleated

[Kiltrash]

Pilot later regretted taking his pet, Jerry, along with him for the ride.

[Self loading bear]

Did he just say he's not an Animal?

No he just said,
I have fought and won on higher altitudes with Hannibal”

[cynicalint]

I'm going to have to see the vet about these overgrown tusks, they are attracting very big flies!

[cynicalint]

I just sneezed and this contraption came out of my trunk!

[NutLoose]

When I said we need the Ranger, one meant the man not the helicopter.

[Wensleydale]

Little Nellie meets Big Nellie.....

[Kiltrash]

I'm sure theres a delivery service with the Moto, ' No Job too Big or Small '

[Kiltrash]

The Poachers finally met their match.

[ShyTorque]

Check that grid reference again……..its got great big ears and we’re supposed to be in India!

[Kiltrash]

While scouting locations the Film Director for Jungle Book instructs the Pilot to try over there.

[cavuman1]

One order of thinly-sliced Heffalump coming right up!

- Ed

[Ascend Charlie]

An elephant never forgets, but that sure rings a Bell...

[Chu Chu]

Defense cuts lead to new procedures for the annual elephant walk.

[Kiltrash]

Ryanairs new cabin baggage policy is tested to the limits

[Kiltrash]

Baby Elephant to Mummy Elephant..

It just followed me home can we keep it please can we?? Promise I'll feed take it for walks and clean out its hanger, please mummy please..

[Kiltrash]

Local resident objects to plans for the new Heliport

[Chu Chu]

No one wanted to mention the elephant on the landing pad.

[Kiltrash]

Normally helicopters play " Ride of the Valkerie " but all I hear now is " Sweet effin Caroline "

[Kiltrash]

What a place to get engine failure, right over London Zoo..
Could be worse, could be the Lion enclosure

[Kiltrash]

Just off camera are the other two helicopters he's playing keepy uppey with.....67 68 69 going for the World record.

[NutLoose]

I always thought positioning the traffic cone in a circle was difficult, but scratching an elephants nose, who thought that up.

[NutLoose]

This isn’t Battersea heliport, it’s the bloody Elephant and Castle..

[NutLoose]

Ok now I’ve frightened it, you jump out and shovel the sh*t into the back, it’s great for my roses.

[treadigraph]

Slowing down so I'll do me judging bit later on today before I head to the boozer this evening...

[622]

At the local WI meeting, Mr Hoskins was presenting pictures of his trip to Africa when the incident happened....

...I only said "and the next slide shows a bull elephant with a large chopper" .... 3 ladies fainted.....and 17 woke up!

[NutLoose]

Who's he calling Dumbo..

[NutLoose]

I told you not to follow trunk roads.

[Dan Gerous]

How do you get 4 Elephants in a Jetranger?
Two in the front and two in the back.

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/640x480/1641719425_elephant_attack_the_helicopter_very_funny_video_f 0_9f_98_82_f0_9f_98_82_f0_9f_98_82_f0_9f_98_82_f0_9f_98_82_f 0_9f_98_81_hires_55ab74aaa4e36f3ee395d927fdc53d0a6c31ce21.jp g

[MPN11]

No. 27 Sqn RAF seek to acquire a new squadron mascot.

[NutLoose]

So if we stick a skid eiher side of its flanks, I will shut down and we can travel in Indian Maharaja style

[treadigraph]

Ok, time to pachyderm, er, pack it in before it becomes a mammoth tusk...

Runner up: Nutty with This isn’t Battersea heliport, it’s the bloody Elephant and Castle...

Winner: Ascend Charlie with An elephant never forgets, but that sure rings a Bell...

Congrats, CST being conveyed to you in a howdah...

[Ascend Charlie]

Well, Howdee Doodah, thank you.

Stole this from another thread:

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1282/screen_shot_2022_07_29_at_1_59_23_pm_9f18a52a01f383ab84927c5 ee1bfedf2ebac1a34.png

[622]

Bloody Elephants !

[Hydromet]

When the RSM said "Get those bloody helicopters off my parade ground!" he meant it.

[NutLoose]

Ok when I find one you haven’t bent we will try the take off again Hoskins.

[treadigraph]

I see Chef prepared his Currycane force 12 Phaal again last night...

[NutLoose]

Thunder bug season was upon us again.

[treadigraph]

Schweizer!

Did you mean "scheisse" Herr Oberleutnant?

[treadigraph]

Howdah hell did that happen?

Well, you see Sire, there were these elephants...

[cynicalint]

Best fart ever!

[treadigraph]

I told you the downwash from the XH-17 might cause problems...

[Hydromet]

We might be able to salvage the helicopters, but the Portaloos are gone forever.

[Kiltrash]

The helicopters are all fine, but the hardened shelters are another issue.

[Kiltrash]

Inviting a flight of B52's to do a scramble take off in peacetime was not thought through

[Kiltrash]

At Farnborough after accusations the flying display was cr@p the organisers try to spice it up.

[622]

Hoskins, you might have thought to tell us it was the metman who told you there was a Whirlwind inbound and not operations!

[Wensleydale]

Never fly and drink Bells at the same time...

[Wensleydale]

Rhinos' Revenge!

[treadigraph]

Hoskins, I think we need to agree on something here... you are never going to make it as a helicopter pilot.

Or...

Bit late on the collective AGAIN, Hoskins.

[treadigraph]

OK, Hughes responsible for this carnage...?

[treadigraph]

(Not a caption - quick research says 179 TH-55s were damaged in the storm at Downing Army Heliport... )

[Ascend Charlie]

...gesundheit...

[Ascend Charlie]

The appearance of the elephant scared the helicopters into a stampede which had fatal results at the boundary fence.

[Confusious]

And all because they ignored the forecast of rotor cloud.

[Confusious]

Which bell end caused this?

[Confusious]

Dear mum and dad, Here's a photo of my first solo hover practice. I'll be home earlier than originally planned.

[MPN11]

It had been a bad idea ... locating the MRD Training facility at Downing Army Heliport.

[treadigraph]

The Osages suffered badly after an attack by a Sioux raiding party...

[Dan Gerous]

CVN pre deployment training. Clearing the flight deck in an emergency.

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1282/screen_shot_2022_07_29_at_1_59_23_pm_9f18a52a01f383ab84927c5 ee1bfedf2ebac1a34.png

[Buster Hyman]

Okay…next time Harrison Ford requests landing clearance, just say No!

[Buster Hyman]

Until further notice, Ride of the Valkyrie is banned on the base!

[Buster Hyman]

And finally. All A380 low passes are also banned!

[treadigraph]

Was that a Tornado?

No it was a Whirlwind....

[Kiltrash]

Are the brown spots oil stains??
no thats where they cr@pped themselves

[Kiltrash]

The Airforce Weatherman Michael Fish catagorically said there would NOT be a Storm in response to a call from Mrs Higginbotham of Folkestone
( I blisfully slept through that in Gillingham, due to a company expensive get together finishing in the hotel and we all hit the bar on the Tab...)

[Kiltrash]

Well if we build a runway with a 20deg slope for drainage, perhaps we need to pay more attention to Braking Action.

[Kiltrash]

The insurance assessment said we could get one or two good uns out of the carnage, if we Cut and Shut...shut..shut..shut etc

[MPN11]

Shares in Speed-Tape Inc. spiked sharply on Wall Street.

[NutLoose]

The First US Military Shove a Heli competition was not a success, and it was suggested shove a penny might be a cheaper alternative,

[Kiltrash]

Base commander to Flight Captain...
" So just how did you manage to wreck all 177 helicopters on MY base, but Sky News* managed to fly ok??"
* other rolling 24 Hr news broadcasters are available

[Kiltrash]

At Da Nang all was peace and quiet till Rolling Thunder used the wrong coordinates...

[NutLoose]

we better get this lot chocked before we have a nasty accident

[NutLoose]

At the edge of every built up area you find skid row

[NutLoose]

Ok Del, i can do you a once in a lifetime offer..

[fdr]

The student pilots showed their opinion on the autorotation characteristics of the 55 in graphic fashion.

[Kiltrash]

The Top Gear Test Track adds additional street hazards to bring more reality when The Stig tests the latest 4x4 Hypercar. As normally found in London

[Kiltrash]

Ukrainian farmers plead with the west to urgently send more...Tractors.

[The Nr Fairy]

We're gonna need a bigger brush!

[treadigraph]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1500x641/screen_shot_2022_07_29_at_1_59_23_pm_9f18a52a01f383ab84927c5 ee1bfedf2ebac1a34.png

[622]

At a Russian Airbase just on the Ukraine border ...Engineers were amazed at the number of snags and aircraft declared U/S after the walkrounds by the pilots.

[Confusious]

Uri Geller was at a nearby location but denies any responsibility.

[treadigraph]

Awww, just leave them where they are, the metal fairies will be along soon enough. My old washing machine was gone by tea time...

[treadigraph]

General, there's a guy called Robinson on the phone. Says he can cut you a keen deal on a bunch of R-22s...

[622]

Well Boss, the RAF managed to do it with 22 Hunters.....

[Wensleydale]

There is trouble at the airport after Max Verstappen takes up helicopter racing.

[Confusious]

It's back to the drawing board for Elon after the initial tests of the Teslachopper.

[treadigraph]

What's your name Hoskins?

Er, Hoskins Sire.

No I mean what does your mummy call you?

Oh! Cecil, Sire.

Well Cecil, you're :mad: chopped.

(It's a very old one...)

[Confusious]

Playing helicopter Kerplunk was a total disaster.

[fitliker]

Narrated in the famous David Attenborough tone “ Breeding season for the little choppers can be very susceptible to gusts of wind , making their little rotors overexcited and just like that it’s a dog pile “

[Kiltrash]

The Base golf tournament encountered some hazards not in the local rules.

[Kiltrash]

So remind me again exactly why do helicopters need runways??
or
At Benson the Pilots found great difficulty transitioning from Fixed to Rotary wing...All except Hoskins, it made absolutely no difference to the end result...

[Kiltrash]

Chief Broady voice....
We're gonna need a longer and wider runway...

[Confusious]

So remind me again exactly why do helicopters need runways??
or
At Benson the Pilots found great difficulty transitioning from Fixed to Rotary wing...All except Hoskins, it made absolutely no difference to the end result...
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Poor Hoskins, he gets the blame for everything.

[NutLoose]

I told you we should never have played, beat the retreat

[NutLoose]

It looks like we need to replace the lot, quick… get onto my broker and get him to buy me twenty thousand shares in Hiller.