Caption Competition Mk III

[Kiltrash]

Rain wasn't forcast, if it had been i would have brought my cap ..

[MPN11]

After the parade the shiny AKs were returned to Stores and the rusty ones were re-issued,

[NutLoose]

Ladies, Gentlemen, and those pertaining to being one or the other, though not necessarily so equipped... Last Orders please...

[fdr]

The logistics snarl resulting in the communal shower policy caused a bit of a stink....

[Buster Hyman]

And you’re sure this stops Dandruff?

[Buster Hyman]

Hang on Father…didn’t I stop you getting on a plane to Kazakhstan a few months back?

[sealo0]

That reminds me I must put the washing out

[sealo0]

Or that reminds me I must get the washing in

[MPN11]

NBC Decontam, 1.01 with added optimism.

[Wensleydale]

The company wanted to be head and shoulders above the opposition.

[Ascend Charlie]

"I sprinkle thee with the magical Invisibility Sauce, and the Ukrainians won't be able to see you!"

[treadigraph]

I tell you, Godspell was just a film...

[Kiltrash]

I tell you, I could not see you in the background...
Oh thank you sir..

[Kiltrash]

Picture later released showing President Putin's plan to protect the troops from COVID ..
Called Herd Immunity

[Kiltrash]

Meanwhile in California the peace protesters put daffodils in the muzzles

[Confusious]

"You all need to be doused in this 'Eau De Vlad' for tracking purposes."

"Well they do they that a fox can smell it's own hole."

[NutLoose]

Ok Ladies, Gentlemen, it is time for the scores on the doors.. in order

and the winner is
Ascend Charle with

"I sprinkle thee with the magical Invisibility Sauce, and the Ukrainians won't be able to see you!"

MPN11

“Splash One, switching to guns”

Dan Gerous with

Fat guy, "I hope that's water lite. I'm supposed to be on a diet"!

Confusious with

"I don't think Vodka will help, but it's worth a shot."

Buster with

umm, actually, it’s your last rites. We find that it saves time later!

my entry would have been along the lines of

Bugger my torch has flamed out again, not that I will be going to the bloody olympics anyway.

[Ascend Charlie]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1212x514/screenshot_2023_02_17_at_11_05_46_am_a2c27faddb809ff345a2c7a d9a0c3cde4b8e0303.png
Thanks Nutty, see what we can do with this one.

[NutLoose]

Well I recognise Kojak but the rest of the fancy dress party entries are rubbish.

[NutLoose]

Wave to the starving suckers, then we will head back in, I have a nice donkey roasting on the barbecue.

[NutLoose]

Sir, we’re not supposed to look at them, they want to be left alone, they say they have brought you a copy of their book..

[NutLoose]

Ha, they call themselves the decadent west, but their McDonalds staff only get 5 stars on their uniforms General

[NutLoose]

Brave warriors I stand before you and I salute you, we are to answer the call and I have promised our friend Putin that we… erm, you, will be in St Petersburg within a week..

Kyiv…. Glorious leader, it’s Kyiv…

[jolihokistix]

"No, no! Cut! CUT!!! You, the fat enormous one in the middle, you're supposed to be clapping!"

[treadigraph]

Chainmail, eh General? A good idea but I think I see a few holes in it...

[treadigraph]

"No, no! Cut! CUT!!! You, the fat enormous one in the middle, you're supposed to be clapping!"

You at the front in the hat - you aren't supposed to crap in here...

[Kiltrash]

Kim's daughter was not impressed with her uniform when she succeeded her father

[Kiltrash]

Why do all the greatest countries in the World all have Red, White and Blue on their national flags ??

[Ascend Charlie]

Yung Fat Wun's body double, Psy, had trouble restraining himself from doing the Gangnam Style dance whenever the band started playing.

[Buster Hyman]

The Boss Nork Orc wondered why he didn't get a spray of Head & Shoulders...until he checked.

[Buster Hyman]

Revealing the Master Spy to the World!. "Ha! It was me orr arong!"

[Wensleydale]

The new owners arrive at Old Trafford.

[fdr]

The Russian general was proudly displaying his new flak jacket

[fdr]

proposed replacement for carnival shooting gallery ducks, due to RSPCA pushback

[sealo0]

Now we can see who been getting all the freebies from breakfast cereal packets!

[treadigraph]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1212x514/screenshot_2023_02_17_at_11_05_46_am_a2c27faddb809ff345a2c7a d9a0c3cde4b8e0303.png

[treadigraph]

Hah, me come to fancy dress party as Ar Capone... risten my impression: "you can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word arone..." No boot-rickers around me, huh?

You mean boot reggers, oh Divine Reader...

I know what I mean...

[Self loading bear]

New body armour wrecks North Koreas camouflage

[meleagertoo]

In Kim Fat Wun's N Korea gravitas and command presence are emphasised by a display of valuable milk-bottle tops, wine gums and wrapping paper stuck to one's uniform.

[Buster Hyman]

Balloon Release Day in NorK was always stressful. Two carefully selected party members had the responsibility to ensure the Dear Leader wasn't launched.

[Kiltrash]

No Great Leader. When the General finishes with the official party mobile phone you can use it. But watch what you send on WhatsApp

[NutLoose]

Hmmm..... If I execute him by mortar fire there will be a ****load of shrapnel, I really need to rethink our awards system, sigh...never mind I believe the rabid dogs haven't been fed in a while...

[Kiltrash]

Yes Great Leader, the 3 Intercontinental Ballistic missile you see are part of our 2000 strong fleet...and no you can't go and see them ALL at once..

[NutLoose]

I got the idea from Amewican seal film where they punch the seal badge into coffin, it makes my morning to punch new award into General through his uniform..

[Kiltrash]

General thinks...bloody hell, not Scramble Egg for lunch....again

[NutLoose]

I wish he would hurry up and chose the bloody new granite for his bathroom, so we can get back to more serious work.

[Kiltrash]

Treadigaph shows his beer bottle top collection.

[NutLoose]

Hahaha, Genewal asked who died when he see we all in black, he will learn later it him.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1212x514/image_7644177ed2106e9922d82178e1e0b1fbda416bf8.png

[treadigraph]

Why that man on my reft no got two chins... he too skinny, imprison him with no food, if he no get fat then KIRR HIM. Hah, I am the very moder of a modern Major Generar...

[MPN11]

Why that man at back smiling? What he know that I don’t?

[Wensleydale]

In Pyongyang, a lone magpie lands on the road.

[cynicalint]

North Korean roulette. The one who accurately copy the actions of the man in the background is saved from the front of a ZPU!

[Kiltrash]

Aviation Herald later reported 17 aircraft in one day their magnetic compass went haywire flying over Pyongyang

[Kiltrash]

Photographic proof that Red Reddington was a double agent

[Kiltrash]

Kim whispers to his right...
past ... don't you think the 7-13 year old children still believe you can fix it for them? Jim.

[fdr]

Triple feature!
"the last General", "the Last Emperor", &..." the last toilet brush"

[Ascend Charlie]

OK, Friday arvo time for another one.

Fifteen medals awarded to Buster for
Balloon Release Day in NorK was always stressful. Two carefully selected party members had the responsibility to ensure the Dear Leader wasn't launched.

Seventy-two medals and a sash to Jolihokistix for:
​​​​​​​"No, no! Cut! CUT!!! You, the fat enormous one in the middle, you're supposed to be clapping!"

And a trip to the anti-aircraft gun factory for FDR:
​​​​​​​Triple feature!
"the last General", "the Last Emperor", &..." the last toilet brush"

​​​​​​​Report ASAP! And congratulations.

[Buster Hyman]

Assuming AA beats 15 medals, well done FDR, you're flush with success. :D

[fdr]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1000x677/weibo_f4u_1_580c1549e8c38ecbba963c23aebb0343c4e4490e.png
https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1000x663/f4u_2_7f94c0b9c1a8f5e226ab7eac5e858180d6b28120.png
https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1000x583/f4u_3_0edcde50d9da49a2c0afff16b5d371313d7dca1c.png

[treadigraph]

We heard the Japanese are great at minaturisation - anything they can do...

[treadigraph]

I knew getting Goodyear to build the Corsair was a mistake - it's got a puncture.

[sealo0]

OK Felon where are you?

[treadigraph]

Hose Nose? You mean Stout Snout...

[Hydromet]

Can we upscale it a bit? 1834 Sqn. want a gate guardian.

[NutLoose]

Noooo, you printed the plans in portrait mode..

[NutLoose]

It fair barrels along...

[Chu Chu]

NACA would soon regret placing Hoskins in charge of compressibility research.

[Buster Hyman]

Damnit! I used Metres instead of Feet again!

[Buster Hyman]

No, no, NO! Popeye Doyle was a real person you idiot! Not a cartoon character!

[sealo0]

Balloon folding is getting quite good these days.

[Kiltrash]

Gonna need smaller bullets

[Kiltrash]

Hoskins was disappointed to find the aircraft was already disassembled

[Kiltrash]

Henry refused to help the war effort by building anything on his production line that was not black...

[Kiltrash]

The USN found the cardboard box was a lot more useful...

[Kiltrash]

Having failed miserably to shoot down any enemy aircraft in 60 sorties, PO McGoo found the solution by moving the gun sight 9 inches to the left...

[Kiltrash]

When King Tut's buriel pyramid was opened they were surprised to find parchments depicting a flying machine..

[Wensleydale]

A Barrel Roll or Roll out the Barrel?

[treadigraph]

We saw what Grumman nailed on to the back of an R2800 and reckoned we could do better...

[cavuman1]

"Too close for missiles! Switching to magnifying glass!"

- Ed

[NutLoose]

I need fuelling....Do you take plastic?

[NutLoose]

Flying Officer Sprue gets his first command.

[NutLoose]

If it was built by Ford we'd deliver them complete and then they would gradually disassemble themselves, as opposed to this a kit plane, that comes disassembled and you assemble it.

[fitliker]

After the great successes of training combat gerbils for trench warfare , the next generation attack drones will be flown by highly trained combat gerbils chosen from the most talented combat gerbils with combat experience .

[Confusious]

Leaked documents from the FAA clearly show what caused the first release glitches on the 737 MAX.

[Confusious]

Wow, what a REVELLation!

[SLXOwft]

The BOI determined the manufacturer had used thousandths of an inch not the instructed millimeters along the roll axis.

[SLXOwft]

Having heard a Thunderbolt could be flown through a brick wall, Lt.(jg) Hoskins found that a Corsair couldn't, it squashed.

[Dan Gerous]

" I think we need to get the plans out of the lend lease equipment from WWII", said President Putin.

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1000x677/weibo_f4u_1_580c1549e8c38ecbba963c23aebb0343c4e4490e.png
https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1000x663/f4u_2_7f94c0b9c1a8f5e226ab7eac5e858180d6b28120.png
https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1000x583/f4u_3_0edcde50d9da49a2c0afff16b5d371313d7dca1c.png

[Buster Hyman]

R2D2: The early years.

[MPN11]

North Korea reveals the prototype of the new fighter named in honour of
Glorious Leader … the Wun Fatwun.

[Chu Chu]

That’s the last time we ask a nav to install the lift and drag arrows.

[Chu Chu]

It works on the same principal as dazzle camouflage. The enemy sees the length contraction and estimates a speed near C, which tends to throw his lead off.

[Ascend Charlie]

Just for Hoskins, they painted arrows to show him which way was UP and which way was FORWARD. Didn't help, he just fired the incendiaries off and started bushfires.

[cynicalint]

RAF simplifies its engineering training sylabus.

[treadigraph]

Baa baa black sheep, have you put on weight?

[jolihokistix]

Decalcomaniac heaven!

Or...

Alonso finally gets his hands on the new Aston Martin.

[Kiltrash]

Repair kit was quite extensive for airfield mechanics. Recycling was always a prime consideration

[Kiltrash]

Dissatisfied with his Christmas present, RJ felt he could do better .

[Kiltrash]

Having built the aircraft Tiger MFG Group later found the missing revision to the plans....the one marked in BOLD red. DONT BOTHER...

[Kiltrash]

Air Boss later sent a urgent signal to the recruitment centre...." Send smaller pilots "

[Buster Hyman]

Barbie was distraught when Ken went off to War.

[treadigraph]

Black Sheep One, I think I've got a fault with my oxygen system...

[SLXOwft]

Hi Rishi, I've just been looking at PPRuNe and think I know how we can fulfil your promise to Zelensky; we just need to get agreement from Tamiya to relabel their Viper kits as Airfix.

[treadigraph]

Message for the cooks: no more beans!

[fdr]

at pumpkin hour, (23:59z, Sat 4 Mar, 8 bells for spaz n' LW50) the bar will be lowered sufficiently that Kilt rash should be able to maintain his modesty in surmounting the obstacle. get your "devotionals" in! Soon to be Miller Time...

[sealo0]

Frank Whittle to GAC airframe designer “Now can we fit my jet engine?”

[Kiltrash]

The latest delivery from ACME to Coyote initially showed promise.... then it was unboxed...

[Kiltrash]

The latest aircraft design from Lilliput was put up against Gulliver .... well a fleet of 5000 small insignificant weapons does have a quality all of its own.

[Kiltrash]

Clearly a early design for the Borg cube in the bottom picture,.,.. i've no idea about the other two...

[Confusious]

"And this year's model student is.....Hoskins."

[Dan Gerous]

Hoskins girlfriend was chuffed when he asked her if she fancied doing a bit of modelling for him...

[Kiltrash]

Early design for the Coffman Starter Trophy.....flat pack to save postage and build it yourself..

[fdr]

In equal first loser spots... (bravo, dogs)

Noooo, you printed the plans in portrait mode..
No, no, NO! Popeye Doyle was a real person you idiot! Not a cartoon character!
​​​​​The latest delivery from ACME to Coyote initially showed promise.... then it was unboxed...


and for adding "lateral" thought without a ruler, calliper reference gauge or other metrological device...

Take it away, Chu Chu!
NACA would soon regret placing Hoskins in charge of compressibility research.


https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x600/vertical_corsair_ed4f52e32b063470ae442d64b84a43359e514d08.jp eg

[Chu Chu]

Thank you very much FDR!

I wonder what folks will make of this one:
https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1650x1102/red_star_66b9852f81b966503285cb9a272b7e94212c8559.jpg

[Hydromet]

капитан, when I asked if you could deliver tanks by submarine, I think you misunderstood.

[fitliker]

Got all the ingredients for a nice bilge barbecue, clutter, dirt , grease just need a decent spark and it’s the Guinea Pig club for anyone that cannot outrun the flashover .

[fdr]

The English labels fooled no-one!

[treadigraph]

Bit late in the round out Hoskinski...

[treadigraph]

Clutter... what clutter?

[treadigraph]

Those? Oh... a new bra I designed for Madonna. she said it made 'em look like Zeppelins - I thought they looked more Titanic...

[Buster Hyman]

Too close for Allen Key, switching to Wrench!

[Buster Hyman]

Engineering to Bridge...I think we just found the Red October!

[Kiltrash]

Farmer Uri proudly shows what the Russian Army delivered to his wheat field...free of charge

[Kiltrash]

Missile compartment of the latest Soviet Sub ...
The workbench??
Gotta have somewhere to lean over and kiss your ass goodbye

[Kiltrash]

Look how easy it is to make Hooch.....

[Kiltrash]

In court the prosecution asked just why he had bludgeoned his wife to death...
The accused replied well she went into my man cave while I was out with the boys in the pub, and she cleaned up the workbench, as you can see from my WhatsApp post...

[treadigraph]

Quint buys a bigger boat...

[Kiltrash]

Green? Well that's to sugnify they are eco compliant..

[Dan Gerous]

"Vlad here, how is work progressing on our Russian Death Star"?

[treadigraph]

Workshop? This is my kitchen!

[sealo0]

I see the May Day parade spoofs are coming along nicely!

[treadigraph]

Right, somewhere in here there is a 1mm grub screw - without it all is lost...

[fitliker]

Souvenir hunters on the Vital Spark taking home bits of the Moskva , never mind who got the code books I wanted the Ships bell said Para Handy

[cavuman1]

That'll buff out.

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

The UK food hygiene inspectors were later asked to explain their 5* assessment... Well you see there was this this brown unmarked envelope with my £5000 stuffed in it
or

​​Delboy painters were employed to smarten up our take away

[Kiltrash]

Wife to partner...THIS Is tidy...what do you expect..
Well me dinner on the table when I get home would be a start.

[Kiltrash]

Mi Lord, you better have a STIFF G&T before you see the Chandelier...

[Wensleydale]

There are man caves.... and then there are MAN CAVES!!!

[Kiltrash]

Helluva difference when you have a red knob...Syphilis / Blowjob or just a safety valve .😊

It's a Sunday dinner after a stiff Malt and 2 G&T's so can't be bothered looking up the correct spelling of a sexually transmitted disease. ...cummon Liverpool.

[treadigraph]

The UK food hygiene inspectors were later asked to explain their 5* assessment... Well you see there was this this brown unmarked envelope with my £5000 stuffed in it

I can see you are familiar with Croydon's many Fried Chicken parlours... ;)

[Kiltrash]

Not a Caption... however when we moved into our current house in 2015 there was a man cave and in it was a full size cardboard cut out of HMTQ... for whatever reason...

[Kiltrash]

Picture was later leaked of the real state of the MIR Space Station
Or
Of the Russian half of the ISS..

[Kiltrash]

Will the last UTD fan leaving the away end please turn out the lights....( 66 min) ...


Sorry that was a WhatsApp that was meant to go to my son...a Man U fan 😊 . So Chu Chu please ignore..

[NutLoose]

Da, it fools the Americans, the Generalissimo Suvorov may look like a modern sophisticated hunter killer submarine on the outside but it’s like lipstick on a pig, same old Russian crap in the Torpedo room.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1650x1102/image_a422a17d4add458daf3f052f31ade2bd3dbb9aec.jpeg

[NutLoose]

And this is where we store Putins sh*t while on foreign visits, and as you can see he is full of it.

[NutLoose]

And as you can see, we Russians move with the modern times, we have gone green, even though it took several pails of lead paint to achieve it.

[jolihokistix]

“Haha, yes, very good question! This is what we call ‘the final solution’. Just give that red stopcock there a twist…

[NutLoose]

Every Russian destroyer needs a Vodka still.

[jolihokistix]

Putin's super yacht was sadly impounded, but Black Sea Fleet Command assured him that they had already ordered a perfect replacement to be built in their submarine pens.

[Kiltrash]

Nooo Stop.... It's Lefty Loosely...

[Kiltrash]

007 is subcontracted to get Megan and Harry out of Frogmore....

[Kiltrash]

Green Tanks??? Well yes i had some left over from my workbench.... Trouble was painting over the funny circular label with 3 solid black triangles...whatever that meant

[Chu Chu]

I plan to call this one tonight, midnight GMT or so.

[fdr]

Hardly surprising Mr Kadyrov was red faced, his tanks could not hide in their surroundings, they stood out like, well.... tanks.

[NutLoose]

Don't worry, when it sinks the sea will flush it all out and make it clean again, just like Moskva

[treadigraph]

Ship-shape and Bristol fashion, eh? We must be inferring different meanings into that phrase, eh Hoskins?

[Big Pistons Forever]

On this boat every day is a Sunday Routine !

[Big Pistons Forever]

You think this is bad you should see the heads !

[jolihokistix]

And as you can see, even on a modern aircraft carrier like this, we do have our small teething problems..

[NutLoose]

Meanwile on board Mir

[NutLoose]

Sir, you know that "man that never was" down below..
Yes... What of him
Well, "he never will be", some bugger has welded him and his companion into the transportation tubes and we can't get them out.

[NutLoose]

Well Sir, I have tried every tool in the engineering room and I cannot get into your Fray Bentos Steak and Kidney pie tin, so you will just have to have Vodka like the rest of the crew..

[NutLoose]

It was too heavy to move when we rebuilt the Kursk, so they just built around it.

[Kiltrash]

Unusual design for a suppositories Hoskins...
Yes sir. Think Big or go home sir...

[Kiltrash]

Upon seeing the state of the basement, Nick ( Knowles ) descided this was a job too big even for the BBC House Makeover budget...

[Kiltrash]

...and finally... you'll be glad to hear...

The Starship Enterprise Engine room finally revealed after all these years ...from behind the camera

[Confusious]

Yes President Putin, this is your personal nuclear bunker, the one on the left, climb in and we'll seal it up for testing purposes.

[NutLoose]

Yes, I realise we are ahead of times, but we might has well start your embalming Process now Mr Putin.
We plan to put you next to Stalin in his mausoleum, but to bring in the paying punters we will have you face down with a red rose sticking up between your butt cheeks.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1650x1102/image_a422a17d4add458daf3f052f31ade2bd3dbb9aec_jpeg_f01f1f65 abb695d6c6f1d594c058601946cda493.jpg

[NutLoose]

RT in an attempt to boost foreign ratings visit Comrade Fred Dibnahski as his home.

[treadigraph]

...and this is the mess deck...

[sealo0]

These are the best Russian “Tanks” I have seen so far

[Confusious]

And next time my Mavis blocks the bog she'll know all about it!

[sealo0]

You’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!

[Confusious]

"Man from Customs And Excise at the door dear."

"Oh, just tell him it's all for my own consumption "

[NutLoose]

Simple really, we empty the port into the Starboard and the Starboard into the Port, why we do that God knows, but we have done it twice a day since it was built.

[cavuman1]

A post-accident photo of the basement at Chernobyl.

- Ed

[Chu Chu]

Great entries, as usual. The real story is here: https://dmaib.dk/media/7921/ice-rose-kazanets-collision-on-23-september-2020.pdf, so mine would have been something like "Any report that any Russian naval unit was anywhere in the vicinity is fake news."

With that said, the best CapComp captions are fake news (in a good way, of course), and the ones that made me laugh the most were:

In fourth place, Nutloose with: "And as you can see, we Russians move with the modern times, we have gone green, even though it took several pails of lead paint to achieve it."

In third place, Treadigraph with: "Right, somewhere in here there is a 1mm grub screw - without it all is lost..."

Runner up is Big Pistions Forever with: "You think this is bad you should see the heads !"

And finally, the CapComp trophy goes to: Confusious with: "And next time my Mavis blocks the bog she'll know all about it!"

The trophy is on its way by Corvette -- routed nowhere near Nord Stream 2

[Big Pistons Forever]

Well at least I beat Nutty by TWO Places :E

[Confusious]

Cheers Chu Chu - Have a go a this one folks.
https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/700x465/william_beach_thomas_of_the_daily_mail_is_second_from_right_ _c90347fd91074313e5a888bcea04a80ba1406ca2.jpg

[Wensleydale]

...then in order to weed the flower bed, you get your gardener take a spade and hit it on the top.

[Wensleydale]

In an attempt to cure boredom, GHQ held a "Who Looks Most Like a Teapot" contest.

[Wensleydale]

"It looks like a rocket coming out of an island...where are you going, Anderson?"

[Wensleydale]

GHQ gets a new pissoir.

[Wensleydale]

"Some blighter at the War Office says that they've invented something called a tank. I told him that we already had one and to send up more horses instead".

[Wensleydale]

" ... No. I preferred the design of the engraved white slab of Portland stone".

[treadigraph]

Elon Musk and Space X - the early years...

[Kiltrash]

At Walmington-on-sea the squad gather to pay homage to Jonsey. After he put it up-em

[treadigraph]

It's the grave of Gunner "Plenty" O'Toole - He was on the job when he died...

[Kiltrash]

Pansies takes on a whole new meaning ...

[Kiltrash]

On the cliffs over looking the shore the Marine guard gather to honour Uncle Albert. It's engraved " During the War..."

[Kiltrash]

Well contrary to the plans your holding, Paddy says that's where it is and that's where it is staying....unless you want to pay a extra £2-3/6 General

[NutLoose]

It looks like an Austrailian bunker buster.. what...damn, that thing has some deep penetration.

[NutLoose]

I had Jones up all night polishing his rocket, but by gad man, it looks no different..

[NutLoose]

I think you need to get those welsh coal mining chaps back to dig the silo deeper..

[Chu Chu]

Not really a cockle shell. But then the bells aren't silver either.

[Hydromet]

"And if you water it daily for the next 20 years, it's supposed to grow into something called a V2."

[Chu Chu]

I kept finding track marks across my raised beds, so I found a gunner and asked for something that would stop a tank.

[jolihokistix]

"Yes................................. but is it really art?"

[Buster Hyman]

Lilliput built an ICBM. Who's laughing now?

[Buster Hyman]

Right-o chaps, lower Nutty down onto the Suppository! It's his own fault for neglecting Fibre in his diet!

[sealo0]

Garrison gardener Hoskins thought it was high time he unveiled his new secret weapon Bombus Erecticus

[622]

Right chaps ...tricky one here!

We have to diffuse it .....but as it's in the Generals garden we must not damage the flowers as his wife will be very upset!

...So, over to you Sergeant!

[Kiltrash]

It says, Property of HMS Dreadnought....if found please return to HMNB Portsmouth. sender pays postage.

[Kiltrash]

Well it was past its bang by date so we had to find a n other use for it.

[Kiltrash]

This should stop the fecking dogs crapping on my petunias..

[622]

Look, I don't care if it came from Mars Lt Wells .....get it out of my flower bed!!!

[Kiltrash]

What's Baldrick's name doing on it??

[NutLoose]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/700x465/image_2c6c9fed059d565da04d7076f8aa1917ea63593c.png

[NutLoose]

Ponsonby, fire off a telegram to Suttons and tell them those damned petunia seeds they flogged me had something strange in amongst them and can they send us all the seed that they have left.

[Manchester]

The chap on the right is Prince William - I recognise the hat

[NutLoose]

Well I'll be damned, I know the big push is to make warfare greener, but this is just too much.

[NutLoose]

I say Carruthers, you've grown a moustache.... or is it one of those damned slugs that Baldrick has been seen touting around the mess what..

[NutLoose]

Well, it makes sense and now I understand the rumours that old Carruthers had a lot of lead in his pencil, but chaps wouldn't decency have dictated we buried him after it had subsided.



..

[NutLoose]

Private Tichmarsh says it's a garden feature whatever that is?

[NutLoose]

It reminds me of Batty Bates when I used to fag for him at Rugby.

[NutLoose]

Chelsea flower show 1916 and attempts were made to curry favour with the judging panel

[NutLoose]

I say Soapy, will you stop walking around carrying that damned white cloth, it's damned bad form and we're not bloody French men you know...

[Kiltrash]

Yes sir, I grew it from seeds ..called Triffid I believe..

[Kiltrash]

At Highrove the gardener wished the POW would just stop talking to his plants.

[Kiltrash]

No...he died of Shell Shock so thought this a particularly apt memorial stone Sir..

[SLXOwft]

'Don't get to close Hoskins, it is a live fire exercise after all.'

[SLXOwft]

Must be Italian, leaning like that.

[Kiltrash]

The Lilliputian armed forces admire what the civilised world call a .303

[SLXOwft]

'Eden, get your hands out of your pockets and pay attention.

[Kiltrash]

Unit were the first point of attack by the Cybermens new Shrinking Violet ray...

[Kiltrash]

Says here in the Times that that boffin Mr Wallis is missing one tall boy...whatever that is

[Kiltrash]

Like to see the park Squirrels climb this tree

[Kiltrash]

Had a telegram from Charlie Dimmock. " Sorry been delayed Stop please leave the centre for my water feature Stop "

[cynicalint]

I have no idea what it is, but I'm sure I can see no useful military application for it!

[cynicalint]

Well, That'll be our contribution to the 'Iron Harvest' in 100 years time!

[SLXOwft]

Psst, be careful, chap on my right looks like a Boche in disguise, I think it may be the Prussian version of the Trojan Horse ....

[Kiltrash]

MI5 discover Blofeld's secret underground bunker

[Kiltrash]

Pvt Pike sees a blackarket opportunity for...whatever it is

[Kiltrash]

Aug 4th 1945 the Mayor of Hiroshima admires what fell from the sky...

[SLXOwft]

The RFC chappies have tasked us with finding a way to make sure it lands pointy end down in future ... oh, I forgot, they also need a way to make sure it only goes bang after it's left the aircraft. They assure me they have put out a staff target for a bomber capable of carrying it.

[NutLoose]

According to the boffins it’s a Daisy cutter, Hoskins old chap, give it a good whack with your pipe and let’s see how it works.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/700x465/image_2c6c9fed059d565da04d7076f8aa1917ea63593c_abd1205927a5c 9dcee999b07600e5c3df9ba6d3e.png

[NutLoose]

Well it’s obviously Italian, it landed in reverse.

[NutLoose]

I tell you what chaps, we will etch it with CST and post it to Buster, he is stupid enough to display it beside the fireplace.

[NutLoose]

I’ve never seen a marrow like it.

[Chu Chu]

The war’s been tough on all of us, but Bloggins is a literal shell.

[treadigraph]

Well... the Australians missed Germany then....

[Dan Gerous]

"This is a job for... someone else, so let's head back to the officers Club".

[Dan Gerous]

I say Fortesque, have you still got that Quatermass chap's phone number?

[fdr]

consternation followed the discovery of King Kong's armoury.

[ShyTorque]

“Thank goodness for that; it’s just stopped ticking!”

[ShyTorque]

“Perhaps it’s a mine….”

”Wella eetsa definitely not a mine, you’re a welcome to it!”