Caption Competition Mk III

[MPN11]

... which was the 6,000th reply to this Thread. Spot the chatty one!


https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1400x2000/screenshot_2021_10_13_at_10_24_40_6d683aea77d83e8a33766a88f4 83ac429d251cb3.png

[ShyTorque]

“Hello spares department, I’ve got a complaint about your “AOG” support….”

[MPN11]

Waiting for the Border to re-open for passenger flights had taken it's toll on the airline.

[Ninthace]

Wings Marty? Where we're going we don't need no wings!

[Chu Chu]

Before Slim Pickens was signed, Major T.J. Kong was cast as surfer dude.

[cavuman1]

"Danged termites!"

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

I thank you...i'm here all week.

[Kiltrash]

Well i did not believe it when I saw it on Google Earth, so I just had to come and see it for myself....Wonder if that counts towards the " What did you see on your computer " thread??

[Kiltrash]

Red Bull gives .....Oh you know the rest....

[Kiltrash]

...and finally, Do I really have to stay up here till Friday, you know how bloody cold it gets at night

[NutLoose]

Look, no safety railings... no tabbard... no safety footwear and 65 days away from the nearest Health and Safety bod....wooohooo

[cynicalint]

I can see it! The runway's over there!

[MPN11]

# "I'm leaving ... on a jet plane ... oh, bugger ... forget it ... Uber? #

[cavuman1]

The lone survivor keeps an eye on the horizon for that pesky waddle of metal-eating penguins.

- Ed

[Chu Chu]

Somehow, he just couldn't walk away.

[Ascend Charlie]

"It was a birdstrike, sir! Four thousand penguins!"
"You realise penguins don't fly?"
"Umm... they were on top of a really big iceberg?"

[Kiltrash]

....and that's why it's called the Boneyard. ..https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x600/prune8_b0180263cd17133d0832ccbdded0ff0aca93285b.jpg

[Kiltrash]

I'm sure Blue Origins did not look like this when it went up....
Ah but no one travelled at Warp 10 before Captain....Does strange things ...

[Buster Hyman]

Flight of the Phoenix? You're kidding right?

[Kiltrash]

Boy that extra strong Triple shot Espresso coffee spill caused quick corrosion. But the Skip landed ASAP.

[NutLoose]

Ok, I have successfully deiced the aircraft...... now what?

[NutLoose]

No Sorry, wrong plane, the B-29 in the lake is about 800 miles that way

[Kiltrash]

No, I'm going for the PPRuNe Darwin award, as without engines I can't get the Coffman Starter Trophy

[arf23]

mind over matter

[Kiltrash]

HOSKINS. .. are you sure these are the correct coordinates for the " Leaving on a Jet Plane,"
Flashmob at Waterloo Station...

[Dan Gerous]

I was going to judge on Friday, but I'm invoking the "on the 5th page" get out clause. Kiltrash will be pleased, and funnily enough I was thinking of posting a picture of the desert Pelican, but chose this one instead.

3rd goes to Cynicalint with I can see it! The runway's over there!

I like a good Hoskins caption, and 2nd goes to MPN11 with A bit late on the bail-out, Hoskins.

And 1st place goes to 622 with During the walkround, Hoskins noted the upper VHF aerial was missing and snagged the aircraft.

Over to you 622

[622]

Many thanks…..Lets try this one!

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/602x315/image_8be18fed9f397f248fe6da632b9b0c543e104bdb.png

[Kiltrash]

Prince Andrew approaches the US Embassy in London

[Kiltrash]

Sideshow Bob gets drafted

[Kiltrash]

Let me see, ah yes here it is, we drive on the left in the UK...

[Hydromet]

They say all the best battles are on the edge of the map, so let's head there.

[treadigraph]

For Christ's sake get a move on, me 'elmet's been pollinated!

[Ascend Charlie]

"Yer helmet is designed to keep magpies OFF, not give them a freakin' NEST!"

[NutLoose]

I've been to long in this mans army..

[NutLoose]

Nope, I cannot find the chapter on watering it with Miracle Grow once monthly, are you sure it was in the art of camoflague book?

[NutLoose]

It says we were supposed to report to Tidworth, not Titchmarsh

[NutLoose]

I outrank you, that's why I have three flowers mate..

[NutLoose]

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/602x315/image_8be18fed9f397f248fe6da632b9b0c543e104bdb_1def08e4a206a 594f043cfa3c1ec1cedb38685e2.png

[NutLoose]

Jonesy, I think I have worms...

[NutLoose]

Cpl, I notice a lack of grass on your helmet, have you been smoking it again?


..

[NutLoose]

From what the helmet manual says, they appear to have replaced the composite with compostit to improve the Army's green credentials.



..

[NutLoose]

It says we are supposed to contact NASA and the code words are " the flowers are blooming in Houston"

[NutLoose]

Do you think I have got a chance in this years Helmet in Bloom competition?

[NutLoose]

Don't worry, some Taliban will be looking after it soon.

[Kiltrash]

Says here we are deligated to protect the Japanese Prime minister. ...the Camouflage should make him feel at home. .

[Kiltrash]

Man at back looking for something really important to the mission in the commanders Back Pack..

Ha Razzle, Mayfair, Escort and a paperback of Debbie does Dallas......Nope can't see the code books..
Dammit , Picked up Hoskins pack instead. ..

[Kiltrash]

Left your helmet out again Hank?. Billited in the flower shop were we? Flower arranging staff started early? ....again.

[Kiltrash]

Bill and Ben signed up to the Army....

[Ninthace]

And here we see why US forces go round in threes. One to read, one to write and one (behind the camera) to keep an eye on two dangerous intellectuals.

[treadigraph]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/602x315/image_8be18fed9f397f248fe6da632b9b0c543e104bdb.png

[treadigraph]

Oh and Bloggs....

Yessir?

Get a haircut!

[treadigraph]

Bugger!

What's up?

Apparently we withdrew from Afghanistan six weeks ago...

Bummer! What do we do now?

Hide!

[Chu Chu]

Pushing up daisies isn't that bad once you get used to it.

[NutLoose]

It's called hedging my bets sarge..

[Buster Hyman]

Nothin' in here about Aphids.

[Buster Hyman]

"....OH! Plough the Field is an Air Force term!"

[Buster Hyman]

How do you say 'Duck' in German?

[treadigraph]

Surname?

Acious-Border, Sir!

First name?

Herb...

(with all due credit to I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue)

[cavuman1]

And as the Company Chaplain read from the Good Book, the Garden of Eden went forth and multiplied.

- Ed

[NutLoose]

I see they have started weeding out recruits that need to keep referring to their aide memoirs.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/602x315/image_8be18fed9f397f248fe6da632b9b0c543e104bdb_ca5b1e9b34c5a bc972e05d560e7694901b92b346.png

[NutLoose]

Blimey Chuck, It says Muchass Graciass means "thank you very much" and not what we thought, I cannot find anything about other body parts.

[NutLoose]

It's true, it says it in the customs small print, we cannot apparently invade Australia untill all seeds, nuts, and plant life have been removed from our personages or irradiated, we then also need to get sprayed with some bug stuff...

[treadigraph]

Says here that it's a skylark which has protected status. You can't disturb it till the chicks have flown the nest.

[Kiltrash]

Taking advantage of the Military in Uniform gets free entrance to the Eden Project

[Chu Chu]

So that's what he meant by "sod off." This Limey phrase book may come in handy after all.

[treadigraph]

My old ma used to say "grass don't grow on a busy street"

Your old ma had alopecia...

No Private, it's "your old Ma had alopecia, Sarge"...

[MPN11]

DANGER 1… Officer with Map.

DANGER 2 …Officer with HSW and Equality Booklets.

[MPN11]

“Just checking … round here rivers are yellow, roads are blue?”

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Sir, don't be alarmed, there's a bustle in your hedgerow!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Basic recruit quiz question 2: Identify the officer in this picture.

[Wensleydale]

Sir, don't be alarmed, there's a bustle in your hedgerow!

"I'll just check if we are at the Nut Bush city limits......"

[MPN11]

“Back off, buddy. The badge may say ‘Mountain’, but you ain’t mounting me.”

[MPN11]

“No, it definitely says PCR Covid test within 72 hours of arrival. I guess we’ll have to go back and start again.”

[Buster Hyman]

Why not just ask someone for directions to Chelsea Sarge?

[Chu Chu]

Private, you need to adjust your camouflage. That variety of grass never has more than nine blades in a cluster.

But Sarge, who would have time to count? Not even our allies fly Jaguars anymore.

[j4leaphill]

"That's a nice floral arrangement".

"Thank you sir,a brit from garden sas did it for me."

[treadigraph]

You look a right Charlie, Dimmock!

[treadigraph]

We're supposed to be looking for the Battalion's temporary GHQ, you look like you'd be more at home on GQT...

[cynicalint]

"That's not my back pack!" "No, it's not my hand either!"

[MPN11]

"It says here it's Arugula."

"No, that's what US Marines say ... "

[MPN11]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/602x315/image_8be18fed9f397f248fe6da632b9b0c543e104bdb_ca5b1e9b34c5a bc972e05d560e7694901b92b346.png

[treadigraph]

Being a Traffic Warden in Croydon in 2021 is a tough job...

[NutLoose]

Now that’s what you call a wedgie Sir!



Ooooooohh escape underpants, I’d heard about these but never seen any, what does the brown streak on the map signify?

[Wensleydale]

"Bl**dy Legionnaires overdoing the camouflage again. What is French for a lawn mower - oh here it is: "Coup de Grass".

[Chu Chu]

Tell me again why I have to wear this on my head.

They're rehearsing the arrival ceremony and need a stand-in for the Prime Minister.

[ShyTorque]

“…and they all lived happily ever after. There, now off to bed, Smithers. And by the way, Smithers, tonight, stay in your own sleeping bag!”

[Ascend Charlie]

"This book just says Blah Blah Blah..."
"What did you expect, Captain Thunberg?"

[fitliker]

Recent graduates of the Carmen Mirandas school of samba cha cha dancing and commando tactics , making ready to disarm a man armed with a piece of tropical jungle fruit .

[fitliker]

Picture taken just moment before the horrible ambush of the fruit flies , horrible it were , hundreds of em just buzzing , horrible argh . We may never eat fruit trifle MREs in the field again .

[Buster Hyman]

"...this doesn't seem right...The Art of Floristry!!! What the..."

[Wensleydale]

"Is that a Bacon Tree?"

"No. It's a Ham Bush".

[Kiltrash]

Sarge...
What now Smithers? Cant you see i'm busy looking to the Ham rolls and luke warm Tea the NAFFI gave us...
It says 'ere that Elk hunting season starts on the 5th... What day is it today?..
Oh I dunno, the 6th I think... Bang.. Falls frothing at the mouth... Yep defiantly the sixt....

( Inspired by Mailman in Hot Shots...)

[Kiltrash]

Contestants during Movie Week in Strictly come dancing, get ready to showcase, ' Saving Private Ryan '... Its tough in the field..

[Kiltrash]

After 6 months on patrol in a male only unit, Hoskins finds out its his turn in the barrel tonight..

[treadigraph]

Lemmeesee... Number five, "thou shall not kill". Is this Bible stuff compulsory?

Nah of course not Sarge, see number six, you disregard that one every time the Colonel is off the base...

(well it is Sunday...)

[MPN11]

"It's from the Knights of Ni ... they say they want a shrubbery."

[Dan Gerous]

With a recent upsurge in theft, Dobbies Garden Centres have taken on extra staff.

[Wensleydale]

"Private Smithers! I didn't see you at camouflage class last week!"

"Thank you, Sir".

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Hhmm, it says here that my helmet cover is designed for operations in "Stately Gardens" or similar, while yours is for ops in "Council flats".

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Not sure what happened sir. Me and Hoskins was both on guard duty last night out in the rain. Mine is bad enough, but have a look over there at poor old H. He looks like a haystack fell on him!

[Chu Chu]

Let's see . . lice . . .crabs . . . fleas. . .bed bugs. . . . Sorry -- the manual doesn't say anything about treating aphids.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/602x315/image_edef10e5a5bd408b2b9199fc00851f2996f85121.png

[NutLoose]

I’m part of the rewilding project.

[treadigraph]

Hell, says here that lunch aint till 1400... ah'm hungry NOW!

You should be more like me and graze rather than gobbling it all up at once...

[NutLoose]

It says here if you build up your muscle mass, you won’t be so weedy.

[cavuman1]

The half-man half-plant creatures, Chloro and Phil, review the next step in their plan to become Masters of the Earth.

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

Well this way sir, they won't see me in the Naked Yoga , female , class of.

[Kiltrash]

Well make sure you don't trim your bush with a Ladyshave.
( Other intimate area deforestation devices are available )

[Kiltrash]

Approaching louder and Louder it's the 1st Airborne Cavalry with the Ride of the Valkyries....

" Hope they only shoot to kill, don't fancy the aftermath of Agent Orange Sir.."

[Kiltrash]

Prince William joins forces with Greta Thunberg. ...to take over the World

[MPN11]

“No, it says we should be planted in well-aerated loam with a top-dressing of gravel. Call Supply and get some airlifted in to our location.”

”Makes a change from Sand, Sir.”

[Ascend Charlie]

"I've got a new gardening magazine here, it's called "Get Rooted"".

[fitliker]

The Achilles heel of the new ceramic flower pot helmets is that they forgot to mention Hoskins allergies to flowers . His sneezing gave up the element of surprise .

[Big Pistons Forever]

I always thought you were a bush league soldier...

[Big Pistons Forever]

See I told you ! the quote is "You can hide but you can't run" !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Guy in back.

I told you we are lost, so who is looking like a dork now !

[Blossy]

You keep filling in your diary Sir and I'll try to find Playboy magazine.

[Big Pistons Forever]

See it is called "Galinsoga parviflora" although I really like the plant's common name of "Gallant Soldier" as it really fits, doncha think ?

[cavuman1]

"How's this for camouflage?", asked the third soldier in the picture....

- Ed

[NutLoose]

They’re faxing it through right now sir, it’s marvellous what they can do these days with implants, not only can you now talk out of your ass, you can fax too.

[NutLoose]

.According to Bradshaw’s railways guide we should be near the railway

[Kiltrash]

Ha, he still has not noticed the couple of house bricks I slipped in his back pack. Stuff this leading the troops up and down the hills ... several times...

[Kiltrash]

Bet he did not ask his wife could he " borrow " her used panties to take on deployment, as a reminder of her ...again

[Kiltrash]

Doctor, It's bigger on the inside..

[Hydromet]

"If you're going ... to Saaan Fraaan Cisco...."

[Kiltrash]

There, Miss Easy-Ley knickers still at the bottom of the Sarge's pack....
Oh Captain Ley, is it not time for the weekly kit inspection?

[622]

As its Autumn (or Fall to our American cousins!) ...I had better call last orders before lads lose the foliage...


Judging later today!

[Chu Chu]

Ah, this looks right, the sapphire throated warbler. . . "noted for its untidy nests" -- Yep!
The bad news is it's an endangered species.
The good news is the offspring should fledge in about five weeks.

[622]

OK...time 'weed' out the entries and pick best in show....

Runner up is NutLoose with:
It's true, it says it in the customs small print, we cannot apparently invade Australia untill all seeds, nuts, and plant life have been removed from our personages or irradiated, we then also need to get sprayed with some bug stuff...

But the winner is treadigraph with:
Says here that it's a skylark which has protected status. You can't disturb it till the chicks have flown the nest.

Well done....and over to you!

[treadigraph]

Thanks 622! Try this one for a day or two...

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/621x414/army_airdrop_1800_ca96663e73b926085926bd74046ba8e64179cd02.j pg

[Kiltrash]

Owing to unit hatred Hoskins did not realise the troop had " forgotten " to pack his parachute

[ORAC]

The trials of the new slimline main chute were proving a great success, but the matching new reserve was proving more problematical……

[andytug]

The USAF came to regret going into competition with Amazon and its drone delivery service when the insurance companies started getting in touch....

[Kiltrash]

Ms Abbot did the weights and balance??

[Kiltrash]

There HAS to be a better / safer way to deliver the MOAB..

[Kiltrash]

Over Stewartby drop drop drop ...

[Chu Chu]

I'm 100% behind this mission. But do the refugees really need an Ikea living room?

(Sorry about my last entry, Treadigraph -- obviously I think slowly and forget quickly.)

[cavuman1]

This'll hit 'em like a ton of bricks!

- Ed

[cavuman1]

The Ikea delivery plane drops a "some assembly required" chimney into a customer's backyard.

- Ed

[NutLoose]

Apparently they're Trumps tax returns, he wants them "depositing offshore" before the new lot move in.

[NutLoose]

Recycle my ass... push

[cynicalint]

Capt EW, we have just been engaged by a concentrated burst of BRICK PULP radar!

(I Know its an EW suite but....)

[cynicalint]

It wasn't a bird strike, but a brick strike, but at least it has left a clean square hole!

[treadigraph]

I'm 100% behind this mission. But do the refugees really need an Ikea living room?

(Sorry about my last entry, Treadigraph -- obviously I think slowly and forget quickly.)

No problem at all - great minds think alike or - at the very least - imitation is the sincerest form of flattery! :p

[treadigraph]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/621x414/army_airdrop_1800_ca96663e73b926085926bd74046ba8e64179cd02.j pg

[Ninthace]

Bare base ops are replaced by instant base ops. Hoskins and his dad attempt the mid air assembly loo so they will have something to go on when they land.

[Wensleydale]

"Aren't you supposed to let the doves out of the basket first before you release them over the memorial service?"

[622]

Jenga…..para style!

[NutLoose]

Jeeez, these Arizona voting forms weigh a ton weight, i'll be glad when they are at the bottom of the pacific.

[NutLoose]

I couldn't get poppy leaves, just brown paper towels, do you think they'll notice?

[NutLoose]

Are you sure this is right, I thought a flyer drop was when you posted them through the door?
we are aren't we?
Ohh yeah, I suppose we are...

[Big Pistons Forever]

What’s in the box ?

The contents of the CO’s desk !

[Big Pistons Forever]

I still think dropping MRE’s is air delivery of biological weapons !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Heh, Heh, Heh, the squad we are dropping these MRE’s to, is the same guys who cleaned us out in that crooked poker game. I hope they like beans and wieners for breakfast, lunch, and dinner !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Apparently this special chalk is for some Brit Calvary regiment. They forgot to pack the mess silverware…

[ShyTorque]

“Yeh, they’ll be really excited about these rations until they realise it’s all Menu D again”!

[Dan Gerous]

"It's no good Sarge, it won't leave the aircraft".
"Get it out now, or I'll have it busted down to recycled toilet roll"

[Kiltrash]

Right that's the Cardboard Cushion down, one circuit and out goes Tom to film the opening stunt to MI7....

[Kiltrash]

Balsa Wood load? Don't think we need many parachutes then...

[Kiltrash]

Coyotee has to think ' Outside the box ' in another attempt to get Road Runner

[Kiltrash]

Right that's all 24 Padlocks applied, ( Shouts ) Are you sure about this Mr Blaine??

[Kiltrash]

Are you sure this was Mr Wallis plan for a bouncing Bomb? ...no wait someone at Bae folded the plans all wrong...

[Kiltrash]

What do you mean the door is 6 feet wide and the load is 3 Meters wide....So what's the problem?

[Kiltrash]

.
....and finally tonight...you'll be pleased to know ..
((High pitched squeeking voice and tears in the eye ))

' No the straps are not too tight, why do you ask ??'

[Chu Chu]

The original PSYOPS plan was rather different. But we had to do the best we could with the broad casters Hoskins found.

[NutLoose]

It’s the first of the Afghanistan international aid funding for delivery to the Taliban, are you sure you’ve set the fuse for it to air burst at 100 foot?

[Wensleydale]

The final stage of the LM course was to prove that you could be a basket case.

[Buster Hyman]

Okay, let it go! The Sub’s below us!
Ha! This will screw with those Navy guys!

[Buster Hyman]

How big was that exhaust port on the Death Star again? I’ve gotta tell ya, I’m not confident.

[NutLoose]

That’s one hell of a firecracker.

[NutLoose]

It was a brilliant idea of yours, pick up a duty free washing machine in Mexico, then push it out on finals as we pass over married quarters and before we have to clear customs.

[NutLoose]

There must be an easier way to empty the bog, also I don’t think it’s a good idea doing it over downtown Washington.


..

[Chu Chu]

But Sir, you said we were going to Milan and you wanted to see the pallet fall on the runway.

Fall palette, Hopkins. Fall palette.

[Ascend Charlie]

"NO, Sarge! Stop pushing! My boot's caught in the aa
a
a
a
a
a
a
rgh
.
.
.

[Wensleydale]

"This mission is going to be a picnic!"

[622]

'Hoskins...you sure this 'burial in air' is ok?'

'Sure, the Navy do it at sea don't they!'

[622]

"It says it's from Amazon and will I accept it? "

"...Apparantly my neighbour was out!"

[Kiltrash]

The Sheep won't half be surprised where the new hay and straw came from...
But we're over Central Croydon with no farm land below....
Yes i know

[Kiltrash]

Air Force guys at back....

Just let them get on with it, keeps them happy. It's a Army thing
or
Dunno why they just don't wait till we land, saves all that re packing malarkey. Still justifies their jobs I suppose

[Kiltrash]

.Dont Panic ....don't worry....at the first sign of danger these glasses go completely black. ..Oh they just did ....
( cr Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy )

[Wensleydale]

Cabbage Crates over the Briny.

[Buster Hyman]

"No, we need to push all the dead weight out to climb over the Himalayas...by the way, don't let go..."

[Kiltrash]

Well that's one way of disposing of

The new unwanted Gas Boilers...
Or
The Reactor Core from Warspite

over the EU....

[NutLoose]

Look, that Pongo Sgt Major said in the mess last night, that no exercise is realistic enough unless it's raining **** down on us, so open the sluice valve and let's give him his wish.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/621x414/army_airdrop_1800_ca96663e73b926085926bd74046ba8e64179cd02_2 457225d7a4006d87a69283bb4af1f5c79cff490.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

That's us over the recycling centre now, Green on, Go!

[NutLoose]

We'll soon have the Californian oil spill cleaned up, these are the max absorbant panty pads.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Drop Masters school:
Lesson 1: Push it out the door.
Qualified.

[622]

The Loadmasters going to be pi$$ed when he finds out what you did with his lunch box!

[NutLoose]

This'll be the mother of all chemtrails..

[Chu Chu]

That's half the carbon sequestration scheme sorted. Now we just have to figure out how to get it from the engines to the crate.

[MPN11]

“That man … where are your Safety Gloves?”

[Ninthace]

It seems a bit complicated but let's go through it again. When we get over the reservoir, load away, wait 15 seconds, split arse 180 turn and 45 degree dive back along the track. Surely there has to be an easier way to clean the cockpit windows.

[Dan Gerous]

I don't care if they want Weetabix, they'll take Shredded Wheat and that's that!

[Dan Gerous]

Two aircrew in the background

"Are those compo boxes are empty"?
"Yeh, the boxes are the most nutritious part of the rations, so they're only dropping the boxes now".

[Kiltrash]

As the Lancaster went Unserviceable the practice run went well with the Islander. However later reports said it did not have the expected gravitas.
Especially as the flowers has been held up by the HGV shortage and was substituted by Covid Self Test Kits.

[Kiltrash]

On a Special mission personally authorised by The Queen, Prince Andrew is dropped off at Langley.

[Kiltrash]

There Mr Cummins, over Barnard, message from the PM ' Stay here ' Dammit...

[Buster Hyman]

It’s apparently a Journalist that they wanted in Newcastle….

[Kiltrash]

That's just over a million signatures for our petition to have the Military Aviation given protected status, Just gonna drop it off at No10....

[Kiltrash]

Right Mr D B Cooper, there's the extortion money, all as requested in unmarked $10 bills and you have the parachute, so off you go..Have a nice day..

[Kiltrash]

I know we don't normally release loads out the side door, But Hoskins here left the back door key at home... again...

[Dan Gerous]

And there it goes, the last ever military air drop. From next week it will all be done by Amozan drones, under a PFI.

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/621x414/army_airdrop_1800_ca96663e73b926085926bd74046ba8e64179cd02_2 457225d7a4006d87a69283bb4af1f5c79cff490.jpg

[Kiltrash]

Wheels and securing points never were a great combination, were they ?...

[Boessie]

"Let's see if they can get the balloon filled with hot air before it hits the ground!"

[ORAC]

“OK Mr Houdini - just say when”…….

[NutLoose]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/621x414/image_d3dfd960f9fc2799447fe65cae6e51b062ffaa0e.png

[NutLoose]

We've bundled them all together, they're all of Kiltrashes failed witty captions, we're air dropping them to Buster as aid, to see if he can finally win one.


:p




Two for the price of one... :ok:

[Kiltrash]

You did check it for nesting Hedgehogs first? Didn't you Smithers ....

[Kiltrash]

....are you sure there's enough padding?
The Coffman Starter Trophy is quite valuable...as we drop it to ( insert your Avatar here)
Yes we used Nutty's Inflated Ego as extra protection

😂

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Drop Masters school:
Lesson 1: Push it out the door.
Fail to let go.
Not qualified.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Don't you normally just tie the string to a door handle, then slam the door to pull a rotten tooth out?

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Having much experience with the flailing arms and legs of the trainees, Sgt Hoskins made sure he always wore his custom testicle protector during drop missions.

[Buster Hyman]

Yeah, Nutty's sending back his order of condoms but, as they expired 3 years ago, they won't take them. This is his last option.

[NutLoose]

I don't know what Buster will do with them as they are extra large condoms, hence we have attached a bag full of elastic bands to the side as an aid to hopefully stop them slipping off.

:E

[Ninthace]

Nervous? Yes I'm bricking it.

[Chu Chu]

We've replaced the stretch wrap with biodegradable packaging. Works great as long as the weather's dry.

[cavuman1]

Wait 'til we drop the pallet of depleted uranium....

- Ed

[treadigraph]

I'll sit in judgement about this time tomorrow... (7pm Thurs)

[Kiltrash]

You do realise that if this goes all Pete Tong, that the Station Commander will be held accountable, don't you??
Yes, make it all worth while then...

[NutLoose]

I joined the Airforce to see the world and what did I become? A bloody meals on wheels delivery service, it’s tragic I tell ya, simply tragic..

[NutLoose]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/621x414/image_734779432dbe9e1e5a9c2661f861be04df632fe8.png

[Kiltrash]

Nigerian Princess Cheques special delivery...at least these won't bounce

[Kiltrash]

Special Delivery of instant Sunshine...tell the skip to engage Warp Power

[Kiltrash]

Irish Air Force do a drop of ' stuff ' on Salisbury Plain... Yes Sarge but why does the ' This Way Up ' sticker point downwards??

[Kiltrash]

The initial trials of the Mail Plane are successful.
" Right lads got the Bag on board without stopping, pass it down to the sorters ready for the Dropoff at Lerwick. "

[Chu Chu]

Are you sure this is what they meant by "box barrage"?

[Chu Chu]

It's only hardtack. But if we drop it unwrapped like this, they can pretend they're eating baguettes.

[Buster Hyman]

Yeah, he bought extra large, but Nuttys Swedish P*nis Enlarger never came, so he’s sticking with Band Aids…

[Kiltrash]

Right, Let's see what FR24 Makes of this. ..
( other plane tracking sites are available )

[Kiltrash]

The British Navy below will get all excited thinking they have found a consignment of Cocain off the coast of Miami. Pity it's only ex President Trumps Tax Returns

[Dan Gerous]

"What are you waiting for"!!!

"The green light, but bulb has blown and the spares are in this box, but we can't get one till we deliver this to stores".

[treadigraph]

Oooops, got distracted - lots of excellent suggestions - a quick pick of the pops and tonight's winner is Wensleydale:

"This mission is going to be a picnic!"

When I saw the pic, I thought it was Kiltrash's entries for the previous round...

Congrats, CST on its way with assorted sandwiches, cakes, crockery, linen and cutlery, and hopefully an aerial delivery system that works...

[Kiltrash]

Deliveroo gets the new NAFFI contract
Congratulations beaten by a better contributor. ..Wensleydale. ..

[Wensleydale]

Thanks Chaps. Seconds out - round 2.
https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x669/seaforth_of_c_bayonet_charge_trg_c1940_in_kilts_1024_1_fd2a5 0c95f3b2765784709f515518c174bc2cc34.jpg

[Buster Hyman]

MOUSE,…..l

[Buster Hyman]

Buster made an extra high leap over the tripwire, just to make sure everything cleared it. Nobody knew why Nutty copied…l :E

[Buster Hyman]

And as there Kilts billowed on the descent, Rodger and Billy gracefully floated to Earth.

[Hydromet]

"...and if this doesn't frighten them into surrendering, we'll send in the bagpipes."

[fitliker]

The Hamilton Harriers Haggis Hunting Association gets off to a flying start at the opening of Haggis season on April 1st .

[treadigraph]

...and at Beecher's Brook Captain Mackenzie has the lead by a short nose from Private Parts, third is...

[Ascend Charlie]

Buster and Nutty didn't understand the meaning of Leap Year.

[treadigraph]

The Scottish Rugby Union Team square up to the All Blacks at Murrayfield with their answer to The Haka...

[treadigraph]

Caledonian Films remakes Privates On Parade...

[treadigraph]

The days of the last midge in Scotland were numbered...

[fitliker]

I thought they made it illegal to bait the midges and the noseeums with plums and dingleberries ?

[Buster Hyman]

Our Pat, on the right, was totally confused. Bayonet Practice in Scouse meant something very different!

[treadigraph]

Ayeeee... I hate bloody thistles!

[treadigraph]

Now do ye see why we call her Wee Nippy?