Caption Competition Mk III

[fitliker]

He is gonna love the nav position on the Vulcan , best dog house ever for fluffy !

[treadigraph]

We still have a problem with lateral stability - the tail was wagging the dog...

[fdr]

"...and ever after, ACM was called a dog fight...."

[Kiltrash]

Oh I say that was jolly spiffing what, just go drop a bomb on Croydon Woomera, fly back through the cloud, don't forget to hold your breath said the orders. The boffins said to watch for and report anything unusual
Algy get on the radio and report we
are fine and no after effects. ..Bet that's the most exciting thing ever to happen in this country
( Well till the next Ashes series )
Algy? Algy ??

[ShyTorque]

“Isn’t that dog a dangerous breed?”

”Certainly is - he’s an ace on the machine gun!”

[NutLoose]

How was the landing?

woof.

[Ascend Charlie]

"Taxy me over to the bowser, Bowser, but put that ruddy cigar out first."

[Chu Chu]

What happened to your bloodhound?

I had to put him out to stud. He was a great navigator, but the charts kept getting dog eared.

[Kiltrash]

After landing the crew pulled up their goggles and were surprised only one of them was covered all over in black oil residue..

[Ascend Charlie]

"I'm tired of those people making fun of my gay moustache, Cyril, go over there and sort them out!"

"Bowsie wowsie!"

[NutLoose]

One day we will get big watches with alarms so we can tell the time.

[Buster Hyman]

Well, I think we can let Turner & Hooch get back to work.

Runner up:
Oh God! I said "Sit!" and he misheard me over the slipstream...

But, our CST will be heading to:
What ! So I brought my dog to the dogfight, why does everyone think that's odd ?

:D

[Big Pistons Forever]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x400/1655062809_7769389c8136bbe93e5542a77e6a7cfd11c5f98f.jpeg

Thanks Buster

Here you go with something topical. If someone more computer savvy than me can resize it to make it bigger you will get a 0.01 % increase in your chance of winning...unless your name is Nutloose

[treadigraph]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1023x575/023f0000_0aff_0242_6cb0_08d98bbded0e_cx0_cy6_cw0_w1023_r1_s_ jpeg_e3171ac5c91db61a91bd7c0013783b8cd0be5491.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

The failed Transformer

[treadigraph]

That's not quite what we meant when we asked how many hours you'd logged, Comrade...

[cynicalint]

What happens when the Flight Deck ASI under-reads, and the navigator's in the back over-reads....

[cynicalint]

I know they used it at Stonehenge to move megaliths, but .... Logs replacing undercarriage? It''ll never work!

[cynicalint]

So which passenger ripped me a new back door?

[Kiltrash]

Damm Dash cam didn't get his number...

[ShyTorque]

Now that is what you call a tech log.

[Kiltrash]

Knew it was a mistake landing at St Athan....or Liverpool

[Kiltrash]

Insurance cut and shut ...I presume

[Kiltrash]

Breaking action poor.

[Kiltrash]

...and Let that be a lesson to us all...

[treadigraph]

We're gonna need a shed load of duck-tape!

[Chu Chu]

That corduroy runway may not have been the best idea after all.

[Chu Chu]

It worked! It worked!

What worked, Hoskinski?

The fuse failed before anything else.

[cavuman1]

Take a right at the corner.

- Ed

[Ascend Charlie]

"94951, you are badly broken, say again?"

[NutLoose]

I’d rather be flying Rubber Dog**** out of Hong Kong than flying Putins **** out of Belarus.

[NutLoose]

Damn Putins logs have leaked out of the special briefcase.

[NutLoose]

I know the male steward Copt it, you better go down the back and see if the beavers alright, I think we landed on a house.

[Kiltrash]

The Lumberjack special gets them right to the heart of the action...

[Kiltrash]

Hope the runway in Rwanda is finished in time....well after all the legal challenges we ain't going for a year ot two.

[Kiltrash]

Skip, think we lost a engine...
Well look down the side of the sofa, that's usually where lost things are..

[Kiltrash]

Early attempt at VTOL using a lift fan proved problematic

[treadigraph]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1023x575/023f0000_0aff_0242_6cb0_08d98bbded0e_cx0_cy6_cw0_w1023_r1_s_ jpeg_e3171ac5c91db61a91bd7c0013783b8cd0be5491.jpg

[treadigraph]

It didn't take a Ukrainian farmer long to find a way of dragging it home...

[Kiltrash]

Having lost a engine the Captain told the First Officer to lighten the load...
Afterwards said I meant let the Parachute Club out not chop the plane in half...

[fdr]

Messier's boycott led to unfortunate solutions for the Russian's V-22'ski; Lt Browns Vampire landing technique was less than satisfactory at the Tunguska testing ground.

[treadigraph]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1023x575/023f0000_0aff_0242_6cb0_08d98bbded0e_cx0_cy6_cw0_w1023_r1_s_ jpeg_e3171ac5c91db61a91bd7c0013783b8cd0be5491.jpg

[treadigraph]

Oh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm Ok...

[Buster Hyman]

Okay, technically, you did make the landing stick, but those aren't really sticks now are they?

[Buster Hyman]

Whilst the accident report was confidential, there was an immediate cessation of Curries in the Catering menu...

[Buster Hyman]

"Red 94591. Is it still like Beggars Canyon back home?"

[Buster Hyman]

Captains Log: Recommend not turning on DJI Drones on the ground in the Donbas area!

[SLXOwft]

Hugheski's гусь из ели was an ill-fated attempt to address sanction induced supply chain issues.

or

You were only supposed to cut the doors off.

[Kiltrash]

...and just how fast was the Lampost going when it hit you?.

[Kiltrash]

...and there was little 'ol me thinking it was only the CL-44 Freighter that had a swing tail.

[Kiltrash]

I hope the village don't find out exactly how their power was suddenly cut off...

[treadigraph]

"Did I undershoot?" you ask, Hoskinski... only the whole bloody aerodrome!

[NutLoose]

What do you mean I can't log it?

[NutLoose]

That was a treemendous landing there Hoskins

[NutLoose]

I told you what would happen if we flew over Poleland

[NutLoose]

Up armouring the belly was a stupid idea Hoskins.

[NutLoose]

He says he can't call the base for recovery because the phone lines are down in the local area again!

[NutLoose]

Well, it looks more like a ruptured Duck than an Osprey

[NutLoose]

Put it in the tech log as a wiring problem caused the crash, just do not mention the 100 yards of phone line as the cause.

[NutLoose]

Sod the poles, are the dancers ok?

[Buster Hyman]

FO: I think we hit someone Skipper.
Capt: Nah, He's a Lumberjack & he's okay....

[MPN11]

And so it was that Hoskins acquired the nickname of “TIMBERRR”

[Kiltrash]

Well at least shred the timber and sell it to gardeners as bark... so not a total loss

[Kiltrash]

Write it up....Rough field capabilities need a little work

[SASless]

Send word to Nigerian Airways....we have had an aircraft that is a perfect fit for their fleet.

[Kiltrash]

After 15 sectors in 4 days the Cargo crew took drastic action to get some down time

[Kiltrash]

Well that proves it, you cannot use a conveyor belt as a runway

[treadigraph]

The ConvertiLet failed to meet expectations in the hover with unfortunate consequences...

[Kiltrash]

The LSO later commented to Mav that if he had not just caught the no 4 wire, the damage could have been more considerable

[Kiltrash]

In the Amazon basin, the illegal loggers are caught red handed

[Kiltrash]

James May was later heard to say that he had taxed worse

[SASless]

Captain Hyphen-Smyth in his post flight Debrief: " I say Hoskins....that did not go well!".

[Chu Chu]

Hoskins chasing tail was no surprise to anyone. His almost catching it was.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1023x575/023f0000_0aff_0242_6cb0_08d98bbded0e_cx0_cy6_cw0_w1023_r1_s_ jpeg_e3171ac5c91db61a91bd7c0013783b8cd0be5491_aa2ff15d733e70 40b1fe1f8e8f90195d767efbff.jpg

[Buster Hyman]

On a wing & a Prairie.

[MPN11]

“Say again runway in use, Comrade Controller?”

[Kiltrash]

How can it be a write off?? Its had 6 new cockpits and 4 new tails. .. it's still the same aircraft, look I have had a medal from President Putin for looking after it so well...
cr Trigger in Fools and Horses...

[Wensleydale]

OK Team! Our mission is to carry the wreckage back to base - we have been given four pine poles and twenty metres of parachord. Our twenty minutes start now!

[NutLoose]

And that boys and girls is how the series Little House on the Prairie really ended..

[Self loading bear]

After being send from pillar to post too often Hoskinski finally crumbled.

[treadigraph]

You had a bird strike?

Da! Er, it was still in the nest...

[Ascend Charlie]

"When the loadmaster said he needed to punch out a log, he wasn't kidding!"

[622]

Tree Greens!

[Dan Gerous]

Wish I hadn't done this job on the side before heading for Boscombe. Anyone got a contact at the ECHR?

[NutLoose]

Play it again Sam...

[NutLoose]

All this Russian around will get you nowhere.

[Confusious]

That's today's lesson completed. Tomorrow we'll look at the secondary effect of roll and the day after we'll look even sillier by combing roll and yaw in both directions.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Time to call it

Many good entries but my favorite was one that took me back to the summer of 1979 and fond (?) memories of basic officer training,

OK Team! Our mission is to carry the wreckage back to base - we have been given four pine poles and twenty metres of parachord. Our twenty minutes start now!

BZ Wensleydale

The CAPCOM trophy is on the way via the tender mercies of the Fleet Mail Office

[Kiltrash]

I know it's too late but I was on the golf course however
It's a disaster Mr President. The aircraft was carrying 20.2m votes in your favour for the 2023 Election...

Ps Congrats Wensleydale ..

[treadigraph]

Caption looking for a photo:

Blimey, some litter patrol you have round here. All I did was tap some fag ash out of the car window and I got machine gunned by an Apache...

[fdr]

Caption looking for a photo:

Blimey, some litter patrol you have round here. All I did was tap some fag ash out of the car window and I got machine gunned by an Apache...

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/225x225/download_7ed8ce149f217e7397677f8e0c5f36be24b379cc.jpeg

[Wensleydale]

thank you!

Try this for size....

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1598x1264/oops_5e69fbff7ca3107f4dc88b17bea9c1dd6200d678.jpg

[cynicalint]

oooopppsss!

[Hydromet]

Now let's see some bastard hog the overtaking lane.

[Chu Chu]

Great test result. But what’s the point?

The Admiralty won’t adopt a weapon you can’t put “across her bows.”

[Chu Chu]

I knew it was a bad sign when Hoskins started googling “sidewinder “.

[622]

MAVERICK!!!!! ....which part of "the switches are differant on an F18 - so make sure you read the book" did you not understand?

[treadigraph]

Unfortunately Thunderbird Six never made it into the TV series after a pre-filming whoopsie by its pilot, Wally Tracey...

[treadigraph]

As Maverick performed yet another beat up, the Admiral put a rocket up his ar$e...

[NutLoose]

Growling? the Admiral is positively livid..

[NutLoose]

Snag that one when it gets back Hoskins, stealth failure on the centre pylon.

[Buster Hyman]

'Ere Chief! Look what I found on the FOD check!

[Buster Hyman]

"Call the B...$%#@! THAT!!!"

[Buster Hyman]

Pfwoar! That Exocet came awfully close!

(Yes, I know...)

[treadigraph]

It's called a missile cos it missed...

[Kiltrash]

Luke, that was really a low attack pattern, ... trust the Force

[Kiltrash]

Tie down failed. ..again

[Kiltrash]

Captain of Moskva. .. It's ok Yuri, they don't really mean it, do they. ..wwwoooaaahhh...

[Big Pistons Forever]

So Mr Bloggins you retired with 20 years in as an Lieutenant JG, why is that ?

[Big Pistons Forever]

You moron ! I told you to only touch the shiny buttons !

[SLXOwft]

Wings, 'Has Sharkey pressed the wrong tit again?'

[Big Pistons Forever]

Captain Mitchel, the only Naval Aviator to claim a kill while his airplane was still on deck.

[MPN11]

The newly miniaturised Lt Hoskins takes off on his first and last AD mission.

[Big Pistons Forever]

What happened ?

Well in armorer school there is always going to be someone who graduated last in his class.......

[SLXOwft]

... at which point the handlers bugged out.

[SLXOwft]

... and that's what happens when you give a 'shooter' a back seat ride.

[SLXOwft]

Carraige of external weapons is shown to counteract the benefits of the USN's secret new XLO F/A-XX prototype.

[SLXOwft]

The board finds that Lt Mitchell's repeatedly 'hitting the brakes and watching him fly by' caused fatigue in the mounting leading to uncommanded weapons release. Lt Mitchell is sentenced to six months stoppage of pay and reassigned for the period to flying rubber dog excrement out of NAS Lemoore.

[Dan Gerous]

No tail hook, how are you gonna land it?

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1598x1264/oops_5e69fbff7ca3107f4dc88b17bea9c1dd6200d678.jpg

[treadigraph]

These plumbers you bought in to shift the blockage in the heads, did you say they were Checkatrade certified?

[Ascend Charlie]

"That jet taking off is incredibly stealthy, can't even see it, but somebody forgot the Stealth Paint for the missile!"

[cavuman1]

The unguided guided missile.

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

On the way down to the Falklands the Captain of Hermes challenged the Belgrano Captain to a game of ' Chicken '.

[Kiltrash]

Well yes I did say that the Phoenix was ' Fire and Forget ' but normally one needs a Tomcat first

[Kiltrash]

...well in the absence of 899's mess piano, 1(f) had to improvise

[andytug]

Hoskins' attempted "trick shot" fails badly when he realises too late that the carrier has no ski jump at the bow....

[Kiltrash]

Normally one plays Darts with something a little less deadly ...
It's ok skip, the arming pin has not been removed...
Well what's that in your pocket??
Oops

[Chu Chu]

Note to self: Do not set autonomous targeting system to “drone” when Hoskins is on flight deck.

[Buster Hyman]

"Skipper. It's going to take a few hours to clean up the skid marks off the deck...oh, and the crew want Hazmat suits!"

[NutLoose]

Sooo That's what the little wheels at the back are for...

[NutLoose]

X wing in the circuit, I say again... X wing in the circuit

[NutLoose]

Are you sure Hoskins knows what he is doing, i've never seen anyone shooting a line across to one of our escorts like this before.

[NutLoose]

Don't worry it does not need to go straight down the deck, look closely, it's an L model, it means it's has off bore capability.

[Self loading bear]

Ducks for Hazard:
The General overtaking on the left lane,
nothing wrong with that!
But Rosco P Coltrane is going into pursuit for breaking the speed limits.

[Big Pistons Forever]

So Lt Mitchell what did you do after you fired the missile ?

”Switched to guns ! “

[Kiltrash]

Harking back to the days of yore when Ships of the Line had figureheads. ...to show how 'ard they were.

[Kiltrash]

Damm...missed said the Moskva Captain as the sea skimming missle skips along the Carrier Deck. "Yuri reduce the skim hight to 10 foot.. and remove the safety. "..

[Kiltrash]

Boss, why has 'Slim' not got the Red Weapons Handlers Tabard on .. Send him to my cabin ..

[Chu Chu]

There you go, Sir. That should put the wind up the deck.

Over the deck, Hoskins, over the deck!

[SASless]

Somehow....Bloggs reckoned a second Rocket was soon to be launched with him stood upon Ground Zero!

[SASless]

Letting a Greenie actually work on something....what could possibly go wrong?

[SLXOwft]

... and that gentlemen demonstrates why cyclic operation is inherently safer.

[SLXOwft]

During CSG21 CO 617 acquired a reputation for a heavy-handed approach in detecting breaches of the RN's smoking ban.

[NutLoose]

Jeez, the skipper really meant it when he said he'd shove a rocket up his arse to get him moving.

[NutLoose]

Well that's part of the Jag nearly airborne, though I don't rate the chances of the rest of it catching up.

[Kiltrash]

The chef regretted that the Lunch served was not to the Admirals liking when he was tied up with a Bungee Cord...
or
HMTQ finally found a use for the Duke of York when he was used as a Crash Test dummy

[treadigraph]

Well, that's Croydon sorted out, is it Barnsley or Scunthorpe next on the list?

[fitliker]

The remote control aircraft club got bored flying dustbins and lawnmowers so decided to take it up a notch with their latest and greatest model missile , a sense of humour not shared by all.
The biggest complaint came from the laundry steam queen responsible for keeping things fresh

[Chu Chu]

Hoskins, are you sure you wired the new circuit correctly?

Yes, Sir. Jettison At Take Off.

[Kiltrash]

Technical problems were later cited with the JATO rocket failing to assist the C-130 get off the carrier deck....
Translated at someone forgot to Light the blue touch paper. ..
or
Nutty forgot to tighten the bolts to the specified torque..

[Kiltrash]

The Prime Minister ordered the Navy to get rid off the North....
But sir should there not be something after North to explain you mean the Tory Rebels in the North of England??
No just the North will do.

[Kiltrash]

The Irish Aircraft Carrier proudly shows Paddy's inovative Steam Catapult system.

[Wensleydale]

Judging tonight!

[treadigraph]

In his haste to escape from 007's retribution, Blofeld inadvertently fired himself overboard inside a Sidewinder rather than his luxury, all mod cons submersible...

[Confusious]

Happy birthday dear, I've upgraded your broomstick.

[SLXOwft]

At the last second newly arrived Sub Lt Bloggs remembered Sqn Ldr Hoskins warning about Capt Middleton's attitude to pilots landing on with live weapons.

(apologies to ex-fast-jets)

[SLXOwft]

No Mitchell, they are fire and forget not forget and fire.

[luckyrat]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1504/457adb5f_f847_4965_a1cc_ff19ee98c529_7eb19ab567d525c8a115952 51c66fea0f24cd391.jpeg

[SASless]

Them Sidewinders get a mite pesky at Sun Rise!

[Chu Chu]

That’s kind of low, isn’t it?

”AIM high” was already taken.

[fdr]

Surprised by the good fortune of the sidewinder near-miss, Lt's Dollahyde and McCain mounted their A-4s on the angle ready to go do another uneventful ride over downtown, just as power was applied to the Phabulous Phantom on the starboard rear spot...

[Kiltrash]

Major Kong inadvertently rode the 10Mt weapon onto the secondary target. Whoopin' and Hollerin'. Afterwards all they found was his singed Stetson...

[Kiltrash]

Now if only we had these at Midway, the war would have been over and done with in 6 months

[Kiltrash]

...and finally...
The Houston Rodeo found a new first hero guaranteed to scare the sh!t out the opposition...

[Wensleydale]

Judging time, and the winner is:

oooopppsss!

Which happened to be the caption that I used to save the photograph before posting (although with a few less Os, Ps and Ss).


Well done Cynicalint - take it away.

[cynicalint]

Oopps! Thank you Wenslydale I Think found the launch platform!
https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x780/aircraft_paint_16_e1598289398717_aff3f45ec739889682ae99a1c4c 8916e9bb22729.jpg

[MPN11]

Ukraine reveals new ANGRY colour scheme ...

[treadigraph]

Pucker up and give us a kiss...

[treadigraph]

King Crimson go on tour, 2022...

[NutLoose]

Who said you couldn’t paint lipstick on a pig.

[Ascend Charlie]

In the Paint Competition, the scores out of ten, are shown on the boards behind - this one only scored one half a point.

[Kiltrash]

LGBTQ+ aircraft gets ready to join in the Jubbly flypast

[Kiltrash]

In the Falklands 2 Para will use any aircraft available to relieve Stanley

[Kiltrash]

Well I got the idea from a movie I saw where there was a revolving cone shaped bra with flashing lights, but i'll be dammed if I can remember the title..

[Kiltrash]

Well look on the bright side of life, you can't see the paint job....from the inside
or
Hank come and see what they did with the inside..

[Kiltrash]

Well we had to do something to take the pain away from spending £200 on the flight from Westray to Papa Westray.

[Wensleydale]

Airtesting showed that the new colour scheme significantly increased drag..

[Wensleydale]

A paint scheme was developed to match the new RAF uniforms.

[Confusious]

F/O - "Captain, do you think that the new Fixandent sponsorship deal will save the company?"
Captain - "Not really, I've seen the company in some very sticky situations over the years but never this desperate."

[Wensleydale]

Following a small typing error, the RAF purchased the Gob Tutor as their new basic trainer.

[Chu Chu]

What do you mean you couldn't maintain visual contact?

It kept disappearing into the smile.

[Buster Hyman]

Ugh! My Shorts are too tight!

[Kiltrash]

Apprentice thought tbe chief was only pulling his leg when he was sent to stores and get a tin of Tartan Paint...

[Kiltrash]

My the Irish Air Corps new scheme for their latest Air Defence Fighter ....was decided by a public vote.
or
a committee

[Kiltrash]

Don't you dare call my son Fuggin Ugly ...

[Kiltrash]

Well Sir, this is one aircraft the trainee Parachute team will be only too glad to jump out off. Jump master can leave his size 12 boots on the ground

[Ascend Charlie]

The first of the Banana Splits aircraft shows off the Bingo paintscheme. Wait till you see Fleagle, Drooper and Snorky. La la la, lalala la...

[Big Pistons Forever]

The only problem is the limited pilots peripheral vision.

What do you mean ?

Well the pilots all wear paper bags over their heads with just 2 little holes cut in the front so nobody will recognize them as so desperate they will even fly such a butt ugly airplane…

[fitliker]

Just needs chicken feet painted on the landing gear struts and it would be perfect for any drop zone .

I must need help as I like it , Dude . Pronounced Doooed .

[fitliker]

Not content with an aviation product that resembles a shoe box and not the usual cigar tube profile the Monty Python School of Aeronautical Engineering allows for something completely different when they give the Artistes carte blanch to go full Terry Gilliam on the art work .

[Kiltrash]

Who ordered the Square Meal. ...Officers, for the use off??

[622]

Well Sir, you have to admit as graffiti goes....they did a pretty good job!

[622]

Hoskins, next time you bring your son to work.....leave the crayons at home!

[Buster Hyman]

Igor. I don't think you have grasped the idea of a 'Special Operation'...

[treadigraph]

To avoid outraging public decency, Treadigraph, Nutloose and other contenders for the latest CST round refrain from reposting the image...

[Hydromet]

"Why don't we sponsor an aircraft to do the rounds of the air shows?" asked the Colgate advertising executive.

[treadigraph]

Heath Robinson's patented fly killer was surprisingly effective, if a little over-engineered...

[Kiltrash]

Too close for missles, switching to gums..
Oh fer gawd sake Mav, give it up, you retired and now a civil pilot..

[Kiltrash]

Amazing what Photoshop can do said Mr Taylor
I took this In Belfast outside the Shorts production line in Primer

[treadigraph]

How on earth did you find anybody willing to fly it?

Oh, we recruited a visually challenged pilot...

[Kiltrash]

I really must go to the optician. All I see are coloured lines and squiggles.... said the designer of Dazzle Camouflage

[Kiltrash]

High Visability has a stealth quality all off its own. I mean would you dare to report to your commander what you just saw flying over??
( Yes i know Treadigraph would 😊)

[622]

"Is that plane mocking us?"

"No, I think the pilot has nose wheel sneering selected!"

[Dan Gerous]

Keep the engine revs down and I think we can get out of here without anyone seeing us.

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x780/aircraft_paint_16_e1598289398717_aff3f45ec739889682ae99a1c4c 8916e9bb22729.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

Boris Force One, with built in sneer.

[treadigraph]

Boris Force One, with built in sneer.

Actually, reminds me of Ed Milliband and the bacon sandwich...

[fdr]

One of the few crews that prefer night flying.

[Chu Chu]

When you wrote up a chipped tooth on the left, did you mean the gearbox on #1?

[NutLoose]

It's all well and good pandering to the LGBT brigade, but we are supposed to be a bloody Airforce first and foremost.

[NutLoose]

Well the Americans used a gaudy aircraft to form up on during bomber ops...
But we do not have enough aircraft left to form up on us!

[NutLoose]

It's a bitch post flight picking all the flies out from the teeth.

[Wensleydale]

An aircraft of the Royal Air Floss?

[Buster Hyman]

No, I said an incisive colour scheme, not incisor!

[622]

HOSKINS !!!!!!.......Have you actually seen a sharks mouth?

[SASless]

Can't be British....the teeth are too straight...and all there.

[Chu Chu]

If you didn't want to haul rubber dog poop, you should have skipped the sh!t eating grin.

[treadigraph]

You know the drill, Sergeant, we're going to do a hot extraction...

Right sir, I'll get the novocaine...

[cavuman1]

"Brusha, Brusha, Brusha,
With the New Ipana,
With the Brand New Flavour,
It's Dandy for Your Teeth!"

Bucky Beaver, President
Dam Builder Airways
Underwater, U.K.

- Ed

[fdr]

5 knots were gained just by painting the mouth shut.

[Kiltrash]

Due to a rail strike I need to find another way to work...
on second thoughts I'll work from home

[Kiltrash]

Post flight inspection revealed a Robin bird strike...

[Kiltrash]

Verstappans personal transport supplied by Red Bull gets its debut at Hamiltons home race...

[Dan Gerous]

All that "G" hasn't done my lips any good.

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x780/aircraft_paint_16_e1598289398717_aff3f45ec739889682ae99a1c4c 8916e9bb22729.jpg

[treadigraph]

...so boys and girls, the moral of the story is never try to apply your lipstick in turbulence...

[NutLoose]

The Rolling Stones arrive in town.

[NutLoose]

It's the fastest Aircraft on the boom, it virtually gobbles the fuel down.

[NutLoose]

Two screws and a blowjob, can't be beaten.

[NutLoose]

I'm the meanest shed on the planet, i sh*t paras for fun.

[Confusious]

No, I said "Brace Brace"!

[Self loading bear]

The smile will disappear quickly, when the first flies get in her teeth.

[NutLoose]

You'd have a bloody grin on your face like this, if you'd just had a low flying Sidewinder up yer ass.

[Buster Hyman]

Can't be a British aircraft with teeth like that!

[Dan Gerous]

What's that whistling noise, is there something up with the engines?
No, it looks like we've chipped a tooth>

[treadigraph]

'Ere! I fink Spike Milligan wrote a pome (https://internetpoem.com/spike-milligan/teeth-poem/) 'baht that 'plane!

[NutLoose]

Whoooooaaa Brake faillure.... it looks like we're gonna kiss his ass.

[NutLoose]

Urrrghhhhhhhhhh ahhhh apuurrggghhhh, I’m just about to pass a loadmaster

[Kiltrash]

I call my aircraft " Jaws " can you guess why asked Blofeld

[Kiltrash]

I think the Pilot is Transitioning ..
Don't you mean Transiting? ?
I know what i mean...

[Kiltrash]

On the Red Carpet in Leicester Square even the Aircraft gets made up ...

[Big Pistons Forever]

Message from the CAA:

One of our inspectors observed the aircraft and concluded that the paint is whole inappropriate and does not meet the applicable regulations and therefore the aircraft is not to be operated. Specifically it was observed that the registration marks are 1 cm too small.

[Big Pistons Forever]

What happened ?

Well the paint crew all kicked in for what turned out to be a very big lottery ticket. The owners plane was in the shop and they decided to do one more job before permanently walking out the door....

[Big Pistons Forever]

Bloggins when you contract a paint job for one of Her Majesties aircraft It is important to specify the job exactly ! Just noting in the specifications that the shop was to provide a "distinctive and colorful paint scheme representing the spirit of the Para's" was not the brightest move.

Gee boss this X Royal Marine thinks it worked out just fine !

[Confusious]

And the brief from Simon Cowell was to paint his new aircraft in a design that reflects his personality.

[Kiltrash]

If Carlsberg did Blow jobs. ... ( etc )

[Kiltrash]

Donno what your complaining about, Yes your original flight was unexpected cancelled but we have fulfilled our legal obligations by getting you on a rivals service , at great cost to us... now stop whinging and get on board. .

[Kiltrash]

The Irish realised that having a circular fuselage only hindered efficient storage capacity. ...of Potatoes

[treadigraph]

Hoskins, I told you to paint it on the runway numbers, not run it through the painting by numbers store...

[T28B]

"I said mind the over-torque, not the overbite, Bloggs!"

[treadigraph]

Is that a yaw string on the wind screen?

No, it's a length of dental floss...

[Kiltrash]

Normally I get to paint murals on the side of houses and in London Underpasses, however this year I have had a special commission for the Hippy flight to Glastonbury.
or
The Hippy Special gets ready for take off to Glastonbury. Well you do need short field capabilities