Caption Competition Mk III

[Buster Hyman]

F*cken Mormons!

[fitliker]

If you fail to make her toes curl she will get you before you can make your escape and jump the backyard fence

[fitliker]

She looks like she would make you cook your own breakfast in the morning

[Kiltrash]

The ITV Producers feel they have finally found the ideal Loose Women.
Men be afraid, be very afraid

[CAEBr]

A number of good entries splattered over the target.

Honourable mentions to

Nutty, with Pissed again, I’ll teach him for spending my house keeping on getting the next round in, now it’s my turn to get a round in…

Finningleyboy with If he forgets the frozen Fish Fingers again I'm going to introduce him to my li'l friend!


j4leaphill with"And you would like a shot of what in your latte"?

The bullseye shot however was 622 withFor God's sake Margaret, just let the squirrel take a few of the nuts from the bird table!

Over to you 622


CAEBr

[622]

Many thanks,

Let’s see if you hit the target with this offering (sorry for the small pic size…but yes, those are arrows!)

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/282x179/91ce7638_b029_418c_83a7_b477351b8fdd_010cf2e829eb085b63e8e5f 71717efc250e577c2.jpeg

[treadigraph]

I always wondered why they called the altitudes we fly at "Injun Territory"...

[NutLoose]

622, a helping hand :)



https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1000x534/20130918030232_3_airplane_3e8a72ae7c5451f85bf251ccd97e9fb56f 3d6517.jpg

[NutLoose]

I knew we shouldn’t have bought an Piper Arrow, the damned things so draggy.

[NutLoose]

I have reservations about flying over Indian country.

[NutLoose]

You can never have to many aerials.

[Chu Chu]

It's not even light on the wheels, Hoskins. I told you not to leave off the short ones on top.

[Chu Chu]

I saw Red Cliff, too. But what are we going to do with them?

[Ascend Charlie]

"So, Bloggs, the arrows indicate the areas of higher air pressure, causing the aircraft to be lifted up. Any questions? No? OK, go pull them all out, and we can talk about conveyor belts."

[NutLoose]

Si, those a repairs are going to a involve a lot of little apatches.

[fitliker]

Flying a Comanche in Apache country takes some stones and self healing tanks .

[SASless]

Despite being in mufti....Sharky still drew the usual welcome by the RAF Wing of the Military Aviation members.

[treadigraph]

Them Cherokees are after me but I'm singing a happy song...

[treadigraph]

Native Americsn equivalent of bird shot...

[Buster Hyman]

Next time, we're using a Drone to cover the Agincourt reenactment!

[Buster Hyman]

"...and the Pilots name was Custer you say?"

[Buster Hyman]

Okay. Now do you understand the importance of FOD walks?

[treadigraph]

I knew naming our new air taxi operation "Time Flies" was a mistake...

Yeah, Mr Fruit, but it is still better than your other idea...

[Ascend Charlie]

Leapy Lee's aeroplane was the inspiration for his only hit song:

"little arrows in yer clothing, little arrows in yer hair,....."

Ohhh,ohhh,ohhh, the pain.......

[Kiltrash]

As Charles was giving Lewis a lift to Melbourne Park, Max was glad his mum had made him go to Archery lessons

[Kiltrash]

On the lads night out they all agreed to only having ' Shots '

[Kiltrash]

The Ukrainian President uses this picture to ask the EU for more advanced weapons....please ..

[Kiltrash]

The apprentice is sent to Boots and told to buy up all the sticking plasters in stock

other Phamisits are available

[Kiltrash]

The Japanese Air Ministry later regretted allowing it's aircraft to display in traditional markings at Reno.

[Kiltrash]

At Biggin Hill the Pilot was chastised for not following the NOTAM NOT to fly over Croydon as the natives are showing signs of unrest

[Kiltrash]

During the Battle of Little Big Horn, Mr Gattlings early attempts at a machine were met with derision. .. Well he replied, it's been taken down init? ?

[Kiltrash]

Very good Hoskins for scoring so many hits, Just one teensy weeny problem...
What's that Sir
It's one of ours...
or
The other 5000 arrows? What goes up must come down..
DUCK! !

[Wensleydale]

Early attempts to fit Bowman in a light aircraft.......

[Wensleydale]

Attempts to build an airport in Ambridge.........

[treadigraph]

The Frinton Toxiphily Club's members should have gone to Specsavers...

[ShyTorque]

Yes, but which one actually is the BIG GREEN arrow?

[Wind Sock]

The Air Ministry felt that George Murdock's demonstrations of his self-sealing fuel tanks was just a bit too dramatic.

[Buster Hyman]

Ha! Good luck figuring out the Wake turbulence for that!

[treadigraph]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1000x534/20130918030232_3_airplane_3e8a72ae7c5451f85bf251ccd97e9fb56f 3d6517.jpg

[Wensleydale]

Are there any red ones?

[treadigraph]

Anything Ute can do Comanche do better...

[SASless]

Out of sight...out of mind.....now on the other hand a Cessna Pilot would have been shivering in his Sea Boots!

[NutLoose]

I told you it had been magnetised.

[NutLoose]

It’s part of the collection drive as part of the Arms reduction treaty with the Comanche nation.

[NutLoose]

And so came to pass as to how Robin Hood came to be buried at Robin Hood Airport.

[j4leaphill]

HEADLINE:-
Piper Comanche has a dust up with Piper Arrow over watford.

[MPN11]

"Too close for Missiles, switching to ..."

[Chu Chu]

Look at all those golden ones. Good thing they weren't BBs.

[treadigraph]

Registration is G-EROS. We think the motive may be revenge...

[Kiltrash]

Berne, the bolt....
( repeat )

[Kiltrash]

Ha missed me, now where's my glass of water??

[Kiltrash]

G-ATOY makes it safely to land after Ms Scott overflew the North West Frontier, on her way to Australia

[treadigraph]

G-ATOY makes it safely to land after Ms Scott overflew the North West Frontier, on her way to Australia

Mythed!

Oh no they didn't...

[SASless]

One thing for sure....them Archers were not Rocks!

[Kiltrash]

Mythed!

Oh no they didn't...

Think you meant Myth Too

[cynicalint]

I wish those spotters would stop putting an arrow on me every-time they look at a flight tracking site!

[Chu Chu]

When I said to test the new coating with a Longbow, Hoskins, I was referring to an APG-78.

[Ascend Charlie]

"...and the Pied Piper Comanche played his pipes and every arrow in Hamelin followed him home."

[treadigraph]

Think you meant Myth Too
It's a Mythre to me...

[Kiltrash]

Always said the First Airborne Cavalry were just a bunch of Injuns

​​​

[Kiltrash]

During the school holidays the children all went out to play Cowboys and Indians. Perhaps not a good idea under the approach to Sioux City

[Kiltrash]

Bury me where my arrow falls, were the last words from Mr R Hood of Nottingham.

[Kiltrash]

On the post flight walk round the Pilot was pleased to discover the source of the strange whistling noise. It's all right Mavis, it's not your flaps after all.

[fitliker]

The good old days before Lasers when all you had to do was dodge arrows without getting blinded by some pluke factory with a cheap star gazers 400w laser .

[Kiltrash]

Having flown too near the ITV weathers presenter outside broadband doing the cat 5 Hurricane

[NutLoose]

Why Custer never employed aircraft

[Wensleydale]

Its not apache on the Cessna 172.

[Wensleydale]

Lucky it wasn't a Tomahawk.

[Wensleydale]

When I shout Geronimo, it means bale out!

[cavuman1]

William Tell's first flying lesson.

- Ed

[ShyTorque]

“I think we’ve had an injun failure!”

[622]

Slowing up here...so I will announce who hit the bullseye later this evening!

....last calls!

[Kiltrash]

In Florida as the next Hurricane approaches, Hoskins spent 17 hours tying his aircraft down....in the Hanger he owned. ..

[treadigraph]

The apple of William Tell's eye was his 1964 Piper Comanche...

[fitliker]

It is not on the map , but I think we might be in NDN country squiffy

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

You can never have too many anti-static wicks.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

From where I'm sitting in the pilot's seat, looks like they completely missed us!

[Ripton]

Ukrainian airborne forward air controller confirms RF troops are low on anti aircraft missiles but warns of ongoing use of Custer munitions...

[NutLoose]

Stay out of the black and in the red, you get nothing in this game for two in a bed

[Buster Hyman]

One Hundred and Eighty!!!

[NutLoose]

With all these feathers underneath you would think it would soar..

[Self loading bear]

These are sucking arrows they don’t damage the paint. But it still sucks.

[Kiltrash]

Fed up that the 'Eye in the Sky ' daily reporting that I95 was clear, when it wasn't, the neighbourhood Archery Club looked to put a stop to the Fake News

[622]

Super efforts all, but I have inspected the target and the winner is Ripton with the topical:

Ukrainian airborne forward air controller confirms RF troops are low on anti aircraft missiles but warns of ongoing use of Custer munitions...

Well done ....the trophy is on its way after I have got the arrow dents out of it!

[Ripton]

Thank you, that's a bit of a surprise.

Let's see what the PP aces can do with this.

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1500x1011/cc01_30380f3654c6aa9ba43561b5743d72cb5e7cb846.jpg

[[email protected]]

Ok boys - the loser gets to paint it blue and yellow, the winner gets to fly it to Ukraine.

[622]

Look, I don't know why....but the boss said we have to inspect the deck for FOD every morning......so I want those cards checked and cleaned as required!

[NutLoose]

Hang on, why have my cards got naked pictures of my wife on them????

[NutLoose]

I was trying to think of something witty and then I realised they were all pilots, so...

Snap!!!!!!!!

[NutLoose]

Surely the boss can't bench us all?

[NutLoose]

Shultz, this is the only way you will ever get an ace status.

[treadigraph]

Come on guys we've gotta up our game... we must win our card table back from those cheatin' Hawkeye bayerstuds!

[Kiltrash]

Guy In short sleeved shirt always wondered how the other lads had all the aces...

[Kiltrash]

While waiting for the Hun to show up on Detling Radar the Pilots get in a friendly game of Cards
..." Jerry's a bit late today " commented Bert....

[Kiltrash]

Well the work order says 302 so what are we meant to be doing Boss??

[Kiltrash]

Guy on far right obviously is not concerned a missile is aimed right at his head. ...till he was told SSGT Hoskins signed it off as " inert and Safe "

[Dan Gerous]

What do you mean Spades mother......

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1500x1011/cc01_30380f3654c6aa9ba43561b5743d72cb5e7cb846.jpg

[MPN11]

Rodney [far left] wondered what had happened to that instruction about inclusiveness.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

The little demon sitting on 2nd from right's shoulder raised his hand and whispered in his ear "Go all in.....you know you want to!"

[Dan Gerous]

Hey c'mom guys, this isn't what being sent to the naughty step means.

[NutLoose]

Ok, I'll raise you one Sidewinder and an ECM pod

[Chu Chu]

Okay, looks like Joe’s flying her today, unless anyone wants to make it the best of three.

[SASless]

Little did they know...but the HSE Nazi's were about to pounce.....owing to their lack of Reflective Belts.

[622]

OK OK .....Im sorry....I promise I won't call you that again...
...Now can you please pre flight the jet for me...

[NutLoose]

Remember, the losing hand does the air test..

[SASless]

British Exchange Pilots as evidenced by the lack of money exchanging hands.

[MPN11]

No, Chuck, you say “Twist”, not “Break Break”.

[Buster Hyman]

Bit late on the Out there Hoskins!

[Buster Hyman]

Well, it's a Navy Hornet, so it can wait.

[Kiltrash]

With Big Bertha being the booby prize, no one wants to be first out..

[Kiltrash]

In Baghdad the flying carpet is usually a bit more colourful, ah but this is the Navy, you know, Camouflage

[Kiltrash]

Seeing this the Squadron Commander finally gives up trying to explain the game of Darts. ..

[MPN11]

“Do we really have 301 of these? WOW!”

”Shut up, Hoskins … “

[Kiltrash]

Hooter goes....
Right lads back to work, shifts finished we're now on Treble Time....

[Self loading bear]

This one is actually better in Dutch but i will try a translation:
Grounded navigators try to re-qualify by improving their chard reading.

[Dan Gerous]

Colonel Mustard in the kitchen with the hungry hippos. I believe that's checkmate, yahtzee, jenga, bingo, kerplunk, buckaroo. I win!!!

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1500x1011/cc01_30380f3654c6aa9ba43561b5743d72cb5e7cb846.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

Stop ignoring me, I'm right ear.

[Kiltrash]

After getting his Partygate fine, Rishi leaves the Government and with his Green Card joins the Military as a Pilot
Calls down from the cockpit.." Lads please can I have a cushion "??

[Big Pistons Forever]

Q : Why are they playing cards ?
A : Because the CO insisted on flying the ACM training mission after a double helping of his wife’s “Chernobyl Chilli” and the loser gets to clean up the cockpit

[Big Pistons Forever]

This what happens when you want help getting out of the jet after disrespecting the ground crew…..

[Big Pistons Forever]

It’s called card bored…..

[Chu Chu]

There's plenty of time to win this game and to thrash the Russians too.

[Ascend Charlie]

When they spoke of "Liquor in front and poker in the rear" I got a totally different mental picture...

[Kiltrash]

As the jet was pulled into the hanger, the ground crew were surprised to find a Navy F18 had, after all, successfully landed on the QNLZ

[Kiltrash]

Call out to his partner for clarity, " Are 4 Aces and 3 Kings a good hand?? "

[Dan Gerous]

Can you lend me a couple of bucks Goose?

[Dan Gerous]

Maintenance strip poker. Loser does the major service and puts it all back together.

[Dan Gerous]

Goose, where's Joker?

[Wensleydale]

Deciding todays' tactics...do we go in as two pairs or four aces? (or just plain card).

[Kiltrash]

All was going swimmingly in the QRA shed, till the G Suit inflated all by itself. ...Ah Hanks got a boner on, that always happens when he has a good hand..

[NutLoose]

This beats throwing all the house keys into the hat, Ok, first off.. we are playing for a night with Pete's wife...
Pete's wife?...... I fold
Me too, I fold..
I fold too.....
Pete, you can't fold, she is your wife!



..

[Kiltrash]

Why " Maintainance hours " are always a factor of 6 on " Flight Hours "

[NutLoose]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1500x1011/cc01_30380f3654c6aa9ba43561b5743d72cb5e7cb846_b4f8c03d55a6bc ce94a31838125675f414d4e8b0.jpg

[Kiltrash]

Hank the Presidents been on the phone, can we get the aircraft ready.??
No i didnt vote for him anyhow.

[SASless]

In-Service Aircraft Recognition Training for Marine Aviation Techs was greatly enhanced by the posting of labels just above the Nose Gear locations.....but required modifications for the UH and AH series Aircraft.

[Buster Hyman]

I've got Al-Majid, Zubaydi, Al-Sattar Muhammad, Shalah, and Al-Ghafar or, as you peasants know it as, a Straight Flush!

[MPN11]

After reshuffling the FRCs, they laid bets on who would get airborne … and return.

[Kiltrash]

Pearl Harbor, Sat Dec 6 1941..." good news lads, Washington has stood us down for the week end "

[NutLoose]

What are we playing, Trumps?

[treadigraph]

I'm bored with this, anyone play chess?

[Big Pistons Forever]

Guy on far left back looking pensive

"I know it a Navy jet but just because we are Air Force shouldn't mean we won't work on it, right ?"

All the rest now do a good job of pretending they did not hear him

[Big Pistons Forever]

OK you lot of know nothing, wet behind the ears Millennial wannabe techs you are now going to finally learn something useful; Texas Holdem poker !

[Buster Hyman]

Pensive guy;
"But, the RAAF... 'Air Force'... have these...why do they still have arrestor hooks? There's something going on I tell ya!"
"Jesus Frank, give it a rest!"

[Ascend Charlie]

"My pair of fours beats your royal flush!"
"Yeah? Sez who??"
"Smith, Wesson, and me..."

[Kiltrash]

Right lads you can crouch down now, we have re attached the Port Wing Undercarriage...
Thanks
( Lucky they were playing cards just in the right formation )

[Kiltrash]

Thinking he had won this round hands down, Commander Putin, on detachment from the Russian Navy was taken aback when his bid of one Exocet was trumped by Hanks bid of two Neptune's

[treadigraph]

I'm bored with this, let's play Battleships instead...

(That's a caption and not a comment on the CapComp! :))

[NutLoose]

Sigh…just think we could be at sea with the fleet…. On second thoughts

[Chu Chu]

Do I have to partner with him again? Last time he bid four no trumps, and he had jack spit.

Okay, okay, someone else can take a turn with Vlad.

[fitliker]

Playing snap for Snap-on tools 🛠

[MReyn24050]

"You wait till I get my hands on the guy who made off with the uckers board."

[Kiltrash]

Pensive guy...
Keep going lads I can relay to you the Guinness* Book of World Records have confirmed this is ( pause ) ..3 -2 - 1 NOW the longest EVER card game..
* other dark stout alcoholic drinks are available

[Ripton]

Lots of good captions. I'll declare a winner tomorrow morning.

[Chu Chu]

This is getting boring. Let's challenge 301 to a game of 52 pickup.

[Kiltrash]

What's the time?
Why??
I'm dying for a drink and the doc said I'm not to have any till after noon...
Well it's only 08.00 at the moment, just set your phone to Baghdad time , then your covered.
Great..

Oh sorry that was a caption in anticipation of the next picture..
​​​​​​

[Ripton]

Runner up goes to:
Maintenance strip poker. Loser does the major service and puts it all back together.

But the winner is:

This beats throwing all the house keys into the hat, Ok, first off.. we are playing for a night with Pete's wife...
Pete's wife?...... I fold
Me too, I fold..
I fold too.....
Pete, you can't fold, she is your wife!

..

Over to you NutLoose

[NutLoose]

Thanks :)

Ok try this


https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/960x540/image_w1280_b7474773317fa1d80da39b7b609b08e3b8121720.jpg

[cavuman1]

While the two older gentlemen argue the merits of Shakespeare vs. Marlowe, the younger gentleman on the far right does his prize-winning imitation of Mr. Bean.

- Ed

[SASless]

Putin dips deep into his Retired Reserve Forces to augment his forces involved in Ukraine.

[MPN11]

Loyal troops wrap a blanket over the sole survivor from the Moskva.

[treadigraph]

Mainwaring: Now listen here men, Private Walker has come up with a very good idea. He's got access to the Russian black market and can buy a lot of their weapons for us to use against them and he's prepared to get them for us at cost... has anyone got five shillings?

Jones: They won't like it up 'em sir!

[MPN11]

Private Pikevsky practices his warry face.

[Kiltrash]

Sir, have you got a pip on your shoulder?? Sorry I meant Chip

[Kiltrash]

The Covid Army of NHS Volunteers celebrate their 50th anniversary

[Kiltrash]

Jonesy gets all excited when shown a picture of Olga with her AK47 from a couple of captions ago

[Kiltrash]

The Original Honour Guard in the plans for London Bridge Down are finally tasked to perform

[MPN11]

Pvt Fraser reads the news and decides to invest in some more coffin handles.


*apologies for poor taste.

[Kiltrash]

The ' Extra' in the background struggles to remember his one line in 7 series, and blows his big moment

[MPN11]

Pvt Sponge (in background) wonders how long before he gets another speaking part with associated cash bonus.


* Snap, Kiltrashski 😀

[Kiltrash]

The Team Building Easter Egg hunt does not go quite according to plan...

[Kiltrash]

I'm sorry, but I distinctly remember you saying it was MY turn with the Bren this week...
Yes but I did not mention who was to have the bullets...Oh a pound of Tripe...Yes it's your turn

[MPN11]

Mainwaring: “This is NOT a party, it’s an essential Meeting.
Walker: “I can do you a deal on Cake and Prosecco, Sir.”

[Kiltrash]

OK ok So you had a No 1 hit single, Grandad....

[Kiltrash]

Finding out the Prime Minister is to visit Walmington-on-sea - on -sea, the Home Guard is asked to be the Honour Guard...
What could Possibly go wrong ...

[Big Pistons Forever]

Back on the bus you lot, You are at Lower Mersey Upon Upton, not Middle Mersey Upon Upton !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Think Bubble over the gentleman in the middle with a chest full of medal ribbons.

"Bertie you were a fool in World War 1 when I served under you, and you are have not gotten any smarter....."

[Dan Gerous]

Now listen here Jones. The Molotov cocktails were a great idea and very effective, but we now have a ****load of NLAW's, Stingers, Javelins and all sorts of other stuff, and don't feel you have to be sparing in their use.


https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/960x540/image_w1280_b7474773317fa1d80da39b7b609b08e3b8121720.jpg

[treadigraph]

Ere... wot's Uncle Arfur doing down there with mum?

[cynicalint]

OOohh Uncle Arthur, You said you would only do that at home and it would be our secret!

[Kiltrash]

Producer off camera ....
Look this is a serious show about a serious chain of events in a serious time in the World, but no, you lot just play it for laughs..

[Wensleydale]

"...and we defend the Promenade, between the Novelty Rock Emporium and the Pier, from the invasion of rubber boats".

[treadigraph]

I've got some excellent news for you, men. Mr Hodges is locked in the lavatory; it's Monday today and the plan is to let him stew in there until Friday... Sergeant Wilson is just putting more glue in the keyhole...

[[email protected]]

Look here men, the PM wants to send a strong message to the Russkies to show our military prowess - we're off to Mariupol-on-Sea

[MPN11]

Pay attention, men, this is very important. We may be sinking, so it will be women and children first ... stand still, Pike!

[MPN11]

M: “Jones, that broken cork doesn’t fool me … you’ve been drinking on duty!”

J: ”Not on duty, Sir. it was a socially distanced party. Like this one, Sir.”

[Kiltrash]

Listen up men, a VVIP whose identity is only known on a need to know basis is staying the weekend at the old Manor House, doing some painting I believe, and there is a squad of Polish Troops been sent in as extra guards. .. funny that only their Captain speaks a bit of English. ..

[treadigraph]

Pike: "Please Mr Mainwaring, I don't feel very well and my mum says..."
Fraser: "...You're doomed..."

[Kiltrash]

Pike , your improperly dressed on parade, again, what's that round your neck??
My mum knitted it for me, said it's my West Ham scarf to celebrate the Hammers getting into Europe...

[ShyTorque]

Pike:
“Captain Mainwaring, will you please tell Jonesy that I don’t like it up me, either!”

[cynicalint]

Uncle Arthur, you said you wanted to touch my shoulder with your finger...well, that's not my shoulder! Frank, I know, it's not my finger either!

[Kiltrash]

No Jones I don't think a Cork up the spout will stop a bullet...

[treadigraph]

Pike: Excuse me Mr Mainwaring, I still don't understand what the Verger was doing to the Vicar in the Vestry...

Jones: He does like it up 'im...

[Kiltrash]

Now listen up men, I have good news and bad news...
Firstly the good news, as there has been no recorded Spies, Infiltrators or German attacks in our stretch of the coast line, especially as we are the closest to France we have been awarded " Best Practice " Status....
Now HQ want me to go to other areas of tbe UK to improve their detection rates of assorted Crimes..
So the Bad news , I am leaving you, joining the Metropolitan Police as their next Commissioner and will be based in Croydon...

[MPN11]

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/960x540/image_w1280_b7474773317fa1d80da39b7b609b08e3b8121720.jpg

[MPN11]

M: “Oh … and Pike, you’ve been posted to the Eastgate Platoon.”

F: “They’re doomed, I say doomed …”

[treadigraph]

Mainwaring: Corporal Jones, I have received some disturbing information that you are not as old as you're made up to be...

Fraser: Draft dodger! He's doomed!

[NutLoose]

Ok will calll this tomorrow hopefully :)

[Ripton]

Mr McNally, Mr McNally sir! I know you're very "Method" but do we have to wear the army issue underwear, sir? It itches, Mr McNally.

Oh, Pike do shut up you stupid boy!

[ShyTorque]

(Not a caption): I think it's worth pointing out, to those overseas and unfamiliar with the characters in the photo, that this is a scene from a classic, comedy UK TV series known as "Dad's Army".

[MPN11]

M: “What I did in the last brush with the Huns is irrelevant. They are threatening Walmington NOW!

[Ascend Charlie]

(Not a caption): I think it's worth pointing out, to those overseas and unfamiliar with the characters in the photo, that this is a scene from a classic, comedy UK TV series known as "Dad's Army".

...which would explain why such folk do not know the characters or the standard lines, and have not contributed to this comp...

[NutLoose]

I was going to tell them on scoring, for you Americans etc watch the link below and Google Dads Army you will enjoy it,

https://youtu.be/kYz2nPE0BCk

[fitliker]

I cannot believe it is not someone else's turn in the barrel yet

[Kiltrash]

Having wandered onto the wrong set of BBC 1970's Sitcoms Uncle Albert is supported by Mainwaring and returned to the Makeup department

[Kiltrash]

Also not a Caption , Dad's Army and other early TV shows would go over the heads of British Millenials....This Cap Comp was still better than anything from Netflix. Other streaming services are available

[Kiltrash]

Hold him back men, hold him back..
I know Jonesy you want to re build relationships with the Commonwealth for the King, but taking on Tyson after Dillion pulled out of the inter regiment boxing contest is surly a step to far..

[Dan Gerous]

Fraser, "FFS Pike, we're at a military concert, not a disco"

[Chu Chu]

Hawkeye confronts Major Burns about the noises from Hotlips’ tent the previous night.

[NutLoose]

Ok. Winners,

I have to give it to Treddi with

Ere... wot's Uncle Arfur doing down there with mum?

runner up has to be
Cynic with

OOohh Uncle Arthur, You said you would only do that at home and it would be our secret!


over to you Treddi.

[treadigraph]

Thanks Nutty! I'm out and about for a couple of hours but will try and stick something up around 10am unless somebody else wwould like a go!

[Kiltrash]

Caption waiting for Picture...
Tredigraph having breakfast in Weatherspoons nursing half a pint of Old Speckled Hen...
( Other drinking establishment and decent ale are available )

[treadigraph]

It'd be a cider Kilty - but brekkers was at home!

Try this one...

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/960x600/putin_f04c2cd08b9b35e8400226f06f444df6d32f11ee.jpg

[NutLoose]

Da, why didn’t you tell me earlier Sergei that the Moskva was trialling a new cloaking device that makes it invisible to naked eye… why am I just learning about this now?

[NutLoose]

Sergei, I’m just calling to let you know you left your briefcase behind, an easy mistake as it was tucked in behind a desk leg.

[NutLoose]

Da, ve will have to end this meeting, now as Neighbours is starting shortly

[NutLoose]

Da Mr President, the war is going well…… (whispered) unfortunately not for our side.

[treadigraph]

(Incidentally, if anyone with an artistic bent wishes to alter the pic, visual gags will be taken into consideration!)

[NutLoose]

Da Mr President, we are desperately trying to reduce costs due to sanctions.
I can report we have cut Conscripts pay by some 10% and are working on significant cuts in vehicle maintenance costings as well throughout all our military forces.
Why, amongst our naval units, we have managed to reduce maintenance costs equivalent to two major warships in just the last month alone.

[NutLoose]

(Incidentally, if anyone with an artistic bent wishes to alter the pic, visual gags will be taken into consideration!)

I’ll give it ago, ok photoshocked :}


https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1360x765/image_d8a66da613b09269921567ad07a42186105d46f9.jpeg

:p

[MPN11]

"And for those watching in black and white, the red ball is in Sergei's jacket pocket."

[Ascend Charlie]

"All those who don't expect to live past tomorrow, sit at the far end. Thank you."

("Is he talking about US being at the far end, or HIM??")

[Ripton]

Vladimir finally realised things were not going well for his lightning fast Special Military Operation when his generals were too scared to even turn up to the Zoom meetings.

[Ripton]

I'm sorry Mr Putin but Boris, Sergei and Mikhail won't be joining the call. They didn't come back from this morning's inspection of front line units. Anton is trying to join but the signal in the life boat is intermittent.

[Kiltrash]

Putin...I turn my back for Easter weekend and go to my Black Sea Resort and what do I find on my return...Deep Stiletto heel scratches on my Mahogany Desk....President for the use off...
BIden. .., yes i had the same problem when i took over from Trump..

[Kiltrash]

No don't worry about the Moskva, just press the reset button ...
No No Not THAT one.. coloured Red

[Kiltrash]

All our operators are currently busy with other customers, Please hold your call will be answered in .. 15 hours. .Your call is important to us ...

[Kiltrash]

General one to General two...At least Kim smiles just before he signs the Death Warrents

[Kiltrash]

How Mr Johnson wished the ' Party gate ' pictures had been gotten to the papers

[622]

General 1 to General 2 "...no you tell him we have cancelled his Netflix to save money..."

[622]

"No Mr Putin...no idea why we can't get the News on theTV..........(in a hushed voice) ...Ivan...keep hold of that fuse I gave you...."

[pasta]

No-one dared tell Vladimir that he had the Clown filter turned on. By the time he realised it had been there for well over a month, so he decided to style it out.

[Sue Vêtements]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1360x765/image_d8a66da613b09269921567ad07a42186105d46f9.jpeg

Now if each of you will just push your penis into one of the small openings on the silver panel on the side of the desk in front of you . . . we'll talk about recent losses

[MPN11]

Sorry Mr President? … could you speak up a bit?

[Kiltrash]

There I have BBC, Sky, CNN so I can see how the war really is going.not what you want me to hear.. You know Nord VPN really is useful when we get blocked.... Now just a MO. !!!...
( other VPN's are available )

[Kiltrash]

Make sure you serve me first Olga, you know how cranky I get when my coffee is cold

[Kiltrash]

Ah Mr Assange I'm going to offer a cease fire in exchange for your release ....come and work for me??

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/960x600/putin_f04c2cd08b9b35e8400226f06f444df6d32f11ee.jpg

[Kiltrash]

Ah the BBC World Service is terrific, look the latest episode of Dad's Army

[Kiltrash]

The Kremlin really find that a President for life really does save money on redecoration every 3 years or so...

[SASless]

Vlad sets the example for his military by taking an aggressive posture....French style....by leaning forward as in a Foxhole.

[Sue Vêtements]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1360x765/image_d8a66da613b09269921567ad07a42186105d46f9.jpeg

At first he was worried because he'd heard these new camera things steal your soul . . .

. . . then he realised it was ok - because he doesn't actually have one



or . . .



The judges in the World Shuffleboard Championships look on morosely wondering what to do when V Putin's puck goes off the edge and into the sand

...then they realise how simple it it - just declare him the winner !

[Kiltrash]

Generals speaking with the Captain First Rank out of shot....Now explain why you were not at Action Stations.

[fdr]

"Get Smart" redux: "missed, by that....... much!"

[Wensleydale]

I am sorry Mr President. The Sushi will not be going around tonight because of import difficulties with Japan"!

[SASless]

The Monthly Dining In encountered catering difficulties due to the Sanctions but that was offset by there being far fewer Members than in earlier times.

[Dan Gerous]

Sergei, your Netflix password isn't working???

[Wensleydale]

"Where are the rest of my senior Generals"?

"Mr President, the official line is that they went down with the Moskva".

[Kiltrash]

Vlad. ..Right time for a break. Anyone for Coffee...15 hands go up..., oh so that's only me for tea....15 hands go down...

[Kiltrash]

OK Mr President we have devised at your request for a " Get out Stratagem " to ensure you save face. You get the train to Sochi, tell your minders your going for a swim and swim out to the Akula that's waiting for you. It will take you to Argentina where you have stashed funds and just vanish ...We already have a look alike body the Sub will release and everyone will assume you have perished.
Your Deputy will assume command and pull the troops out as a mark of respect. ..

[NutLoose]

This is the competion picture


https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/960x600/image_2f372c277f1ced36bb1d19eecedb411296a5a16b.jpeg

[NutLoose]

So Sergei, I have your sick note in front of me, but this says you have heart problems and I see no mention of the poiso…oops, cough, cough