Caption Competition Mk III

[622]

Hogwarts CCF on a weekend camp

[Kiltrash]

At Hampden the defensive wall scared Kane into putting it over the bar

[Kiltrash]

Proof that nothings worn under the kilt, it's all in total working order

[Kiltrash]

Who you calling a Jessie?

[Kiltrash]

In Rose Street, The Publicans later realised perhaps it was a mistake putting the beer up by 3/- a pint.

[Kiltrash]

Later realised taking a bayonet to a gun fight was perhaps a mistake.

[Kiltrash]

Wee Nicola sends in the 1st Battalion Mobile Jabbers to forcibly inject the Anti Vaxxers so she can re open Scotland fully.

[ShyTorque]

Oooh…nettles! Medic! Dock leaf!

[Kiltrash]

Deleted scene from Blackadder IV where the Scottish Regiment succeeded when the Captain, Baldrick and Captain Darling failed

[Kiltrash]

In Croydon the Police request the Army help when riots breakout

[NutLoose]

Always at the ready, Scottish Highland troops shout the regiments motto..

" They don't like it up 'em, neither Jerries nor sheep."

[NutLoose]

Noooo, that's not what is meant when issued with the order "skirt around the flank"...

[NutLoose]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x669/seaforth_of_c_bayonet_charge_trg_c1940_in_kilts_1024_1_fd2a5 0c95f3b2765784709f515518c174bc2cc34_00be3b1d736c07903b63aef9 136870abab92aea8.jpg

[NutLoose]

Och, they remind me of home, I can see the Trossachs nooo

[NutLoose]

Mein gott, whoever said there were no flies in a skirt haven't seen this lot..

[Hydromet]

"After him, men, he's stolen the regimental condom!"

[andytug]

"AAAAARRGGHH!! It's the Devils In Skirts!!"

[andytug]

McHoskins suddenly became animated following the sighting of a rare Lowland haggis.....

[Kiltrash]

Just then the men realised it was not the German trenches, but the Sea Wall....
( Based on many years ago my then dog chasing the gulls off the low wall realised too late it was a sea wall with a drop of some 20' into a fortunately tide in, harbour. Once she came up for air doggy paddled to the steps and climbed out. never did that again...)

[NutLoose]

Where's ma bucket?

Oor Wullie 1944 edition

[NutLoose]

Buster introduces his mates, the Gonads..

[Kiltrash]

Why the jumps men??
Its the wool in the Kilts Sir, Their scared of the German Shepherd dogs sir...

[Buster Hyman]

Fritz. Hold your fire until you see their Helmets....

Ummm....

[Chu Chu]

Luckily, the photographer didn't recognize Alec Baldwin.

[DirtyProp]

Latest series of "Scots got Talent" got off to a smashing start.

[DirtyProp]

"Are we s'posed to jump that high?"

"Did you see the size of that dung??"

[treadigraph]

Rifleman Angus McCoatup's last mortal view as his Battalion mates finally had enough of his bagpipe playing...

[cavuman1]

A troop of Glaswegians assemble to audition for the Marilyn Monroe role in a remake of The Seven Year Itch.

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/590x701/marilyn_monroe1_4efda712c06db30fd0f24a3a1273a09bc09d4cc8.jpg


- Ed

[Ninthace]

Och nay, concealed trampolines, the Scotsman's natural enemy!

[Ninthace]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/590x701/marilyn_monroe1_4efda712c06db30fd0f24a3a1273a09bc09d4cc8.jpg
Marilyn wins the bean eating contest with disastrous consequences!

[treadigraph]

A group of Andy Stewart fans show their appreciation for his music...

[Kiltrash]

Hamish McStrong clearly shows his strength by lifting 2 of his comrades over the minefield....right whose next?

[Kiltrash]

Sargent? ?
Yes Laddie...
If we're in the Army ( now) why do we need life vests??
Them water filled shell craters can be surprisingly deep....

[NutLoose]

Och, you'd jump this high if you had a Kilt rash..

[NutLoose]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x669/seaforth_of_c_bayonet_charge_trg_c1940_in_kilts_1024_1_fd2a5 0c95f3b2765784709f515518c174bc2cc34_00be3b1d736c07903b63aef9 136870abab92aea8_2e1dfe2f3e5a80f7c640bfa2cf7facfc32b1bc14.jp g

[NutLoose]

"Run, yon Naafi van mon wants his tick list clearing.."

[NutLoose]

Run, yon Beagle want'd to see oor webbing...

[Kiltrash]

Nutty I deliberaly avoided that one😁😁 But it's better if your wife has a big dollop of Petroleum Jelly...

However..
As Lord Lovat approached Pegasus Bridge his troops get in some Canal Jumping...and so a whole new sport was born..

[NutLoose]

The 1942 Grand National was never the same after the PC brigade managed to ban horses.

[Kiltrash]

Well it is the (wo)man's army, so uniform code does need changing.

[NutLoose]

We're Scots, we always charge, but never pay.

[Chu Chu]

Cut! Cut! Cut!

We're remaking Kind Hearts and Coronets, not remaking Braveheart with bayonets.

[cynicalint]

You could easily tell which two had been poisoned; They had been given arsenic via a bayonet!

[ShyTorque]

Aye, this is how we sort oot the Big Macs from the Quarter Poonders!

[NutLoose]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x669/image_653a6abffbcce3f8bbc65af877873d9b44c98bd5.jpeg

[NutLoose]

That’s nay battered sausage under ma kilt, that’s ma Mars bar fur later.

[treadigraph]

At the First Highland Army Games, an absence of suitable poles led to a new event being devised named the Bayonet Vault...

[NutLoose]

Mein gott, that’s a new play on zer Cock, hook and der look.

[NutLoose]

Chemtrails? Och, that’ll be wee McTavish wid a dose of yon runs..

[NutLoose]

Ah wuld hardly call them magnificent, even if thar is severn.

[Blossy]

MacScroggins is behind us, carrying the Vickers!

[treadigraph]

Oooops, beg pardon ma'am, thought this was the Jerry lines. Close your eyes lads, don't stare at 'er assets, aint none of yew lot ever seen a lady nakid before?....

[treadigraph]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x669/seaforth_of_c_bayonet_charge_trg_c1940_in_kilts_1024_1_fd2a5 0c95f3b2765784709f515518c174bc2cc34_00be3b1d736c07903b63aef9 136870abab92aea8_2e1dfe2f3e5a80f7c640bfa2cf7facfc32b1bc14.jp g

[IBMyke]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x669/seaforth_of_c_bayonet_charge_trg_c1940_in_kilts_1024_1_fd2a5 0c95f3b2765784709f515518c174bc2cc34_00be3b1d736c07903b63aef9 136870abab92aea8_2e1dfe2f3e5a80f7c640bfa2cf7facfc32b1bc14.jp g

"They found a spider"

[Ascend Charlie]

Jock, hopping in the centre, had one good leg, one amputated at the knee, and a mighty appendage hanging below his kilt, hence the name "Tripod".

[Chu Chu]

Password? This my password. They're shooting at us up here!

[Hydromet]

When the Movements Officer told McHoskins that he should take extra socks and jocks, as usual, Hoskins misunderstood.

[Kiltrash]

As the troop had regularly forgotten to put on their
' Dog Tags ' before going into battle the General insisted they had their details tattooed on their
todgers. .
Mac had ''Mac " however as he spears a Jerry
" hrihanish " came into view..

[Kiltrash]

After the War, two of the men went into retailing and used their experiences to better mens lives.
Marks and Spencer specialised in 'comfy fit ' ..

[Kiltrash]

Jerry defences did not need barbed wire, only a thicket of Brambles

[Kiltrash]

Poppy sellers are a bit assertive this year dear

[Dan Gerous]

If nettles and midgies dinny bother us, dae yae really think wur scared ay yon germins.

[Kiltrash]

At Bannockburn King Edward felt the Scots had a unfair advantage. Over the crest the Doctor smiled quietly to herself looking out from the Tardis.

[MPN11]

"I don't know about the Enemy, but they certainly scare the Hell out of me."

[Kiltrash]

...and that's why none of the seven dwarfs were named 'Eunuch'

[MPN11]

A distant call of "Free Beer Here" had the 49th McEwan's Regt in full cry.

[Kiltrash]

" We'll be cummin..
We'll be cummin.
We'll be cummin down the road.
When you here the noise of the Tartan Army boys
We'll be cummin down the road..."

Repeat when invading Wemberlee in 1967 and in 1977, where's yous goalposts...??

[Kiltrash]

They may take our lives but they'll never take our FREEDOM...

[Kiltrash]

The BOI later reported that in this instance Friendly Fire was tottaly reasonable, After Henry Ffortesque-Smyth had used the Scots Guard helmets as emergency Chamber Pots...

[cattletruck]

Gnats!!!




.

[treadigraph]

Floats like a butterfly
And stings like a bee
No underpants; it's the
Scottish Infantry


(Excuse the pause in the middle, the sound of a Merlin interrupted my train of thought!)

[cynicalint]

(Chap 2nd left)
HA HA! Se how high they jump when you jab them in the bum with a bayonet!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Lads, don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes. Looking up at us, their eyes will be nothing but white!

[NutLoose]

Ach…. that’s vot General McAuliffe in Bastogne meant by der nuts.

[MPN11]

The Bosche unwisely attempted to capture the delivery of Mars Bars. The Glasgow contingent arrived to save the day.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Well Minister, you did say you wanted the army to "help" people get to the vaccination centers....

[Big Pistons Forever]

Yah Sargent Major the platoon is coming back now pretty sharpish

Why did those silly buggers go over early ?

It wasn't your whistle they heard, it was Fatty O'Donnel's fart !

[Kiltrash]

Like to see my soap powder get these stains out at 20 deg in time for kit inspections

[MPN11]

Loganair ground staff enforce Priority Boarding.

[MPN11]

The Knights who say NI regretted saying "Bring me a Shubbery" when they was how it was being delivered.

[Chu Chu]

The pen is, mightier than the sword.

[Chu Chu]

What did you expect to see? We're the Highland Rifles, not the Highland Guns.

[Cat3508]

This is how we do the highland fling lads, you put your left foot in and you shake all about, etc, etc.

[Kiltrash]

The Commandos go ' Commando "

[Kiltrash]

Nurse Nightingale finds treating Trench Nuts much more pleasurable than Trench Foot.

[Kiltrash]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x669/image_653a6abffbcce3f8bbc65af877873d9b44c98bd5.jpeg

Later the men found Standing to Attention came second nature as Section Officer Harvey passed....unnecessarily often....

[Kiltrash]

General was pleased that each time it was ' His Men ' that won the inter Regiment 3 Legged Race...

[Kiltrash]

On Guard Duty the men would tie a house brick on their willy, so when ' Going over the top' the Germans would get a real eyeful. ..

[treadigraph]

I'm Jock the Peg, diddle iddle iddle um...

[Buster Hyman]

Trench Trampoline Warfare never really took off...

[Kiltrash]

At the post battle press conference the General was asked how his troops managed to get past the German defence line so easily the Gen explained. ..
" Just before H Hour I had the division barber ensure the men had no exposed hair to get tangled on the fence and he applied extra strong aftershave... the soothing lotion we dropped behind enemy lines "

[Dan Gerous]

There was a mad dash when news reached the front line, that the mess was running out of deep fried Mars Bars.

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x669/image_653a6abffbcce3f8bbc65af877873d9b44c98bd5.jpeg

[Kiltrash]

The Chip Shop at Hampden later regretted putting up the " Match Day price list " ( true story )

[Kiltrash]

As the Battle of Old Trafford develops, the Red Devils rush to escape the firing line.. 😁

[Big Pistons Forever]

Well I am sure glad I wasn't the guy who decided the code word for the Scottish Regiment should be "Danny Boy"

[NutLoose]

A Rangers Celtic match was always a fraught affair.

[NutLoose]

Scottish troops storm the Gorbals in Glasgow after mistaking the area with Goebbels one of the Nazi leadership.

[Ascend Charlie]

"This kilt rash seems to be contagious!"

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Mien Gott Hans, vatch out!! It is zer Jewish Highlanders!

[Kiltrash]

Ah Prime Minister, we're here to take you into Protective Custody....Your suite at Barlinnie is ready

[Kiltrash]

Look don't knock Kitrash till you have tried it. Has its own kind of pleasure

[Kiltrash]

Vinegar on me chips.... It's Broon sauce BROON only...
sigh...will chef never learn

[622]

Hoskins, when we said skirt around the enemy position.....what we meant was....

[Kiltrash]

...and finally tonight on BBC Orkney secret trials are uncovered from May 1942 to transplant the Menopause gene into the First Argyle and Sutherland Highlanders prove successful. .
The plans were to be in Berlin by Christmases were only partly successful,,,, The men had to stay in a darkened room every 6 weeks

[NutLoose]

I canna see hoow he can charge ma, i'm keeping off his damned grass..

[NutLoose]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x669/image_653a6abffbcce3f8bbc65af877873d9b44c98bd5_jpeg_72d91b83 7a65ced81ca4ee25aa3ec19c166e5486.jpg

[Chu Chu]

Due to an unfortunate misunderstanding, the crucial diversionary attack never made it beyond the jumping off point.

[622]

Early trials of the Highlanders Parachute regiment looked promising...with just small modifications to the kilts - parachutes were unnecessary!

[Wensleydale]

Ah Prime Minister, we're here to take you into Protective Custody....Your suite at Barlinnie is ready

But then, Nicola woke up and discovered that everything had been a really bad dream.

I'll judge later tonight!

W.

[Right20deg]

It was supposed to be just a sporting 50 Clay Shoot in Yorkshire...... but Ian Blackford sent his team from Skye to show how it should be done.

[Chu Chu]

The Scottish suicide squad deploys to Dover.

(Apologies to Python, of course.)

[NutLoose]

Insulate Britain are moved on by the totally uninsulated brigade.

[Kiltrash]

After 90 days on maneuvers without ' company ' the sighting of a Haggis prompted much extended excitement. ..

[Kiltrash]

At the Boy Scout Games in Edinburgh the practice for the ' Hop Skip and Jump ' progressed well...
Yes but why the rifles??
Moto dear chap, Moto...

[Wensleydale]

Here are the votes of the Caledonian jury.

There are some excellent entries - well done. However, having spent a five year posting in Lossiemouth, the winner must be Hydromet with:

"...and if this doesn't frighten them into surrendering, we'll send in the bagpipes."

Please accept the CST together with a copy of Dougie Donnelley's autobiography and complementary tickets to the White Heather Club.

[NutLoose]

There are some excellent entries - well done. However, having spent a five year posting in Lossiemouth, the winner must be Hydromet with:

who did you upset? ;)

[Kiltrash]

Donno but perhaps there were some worried sheep 😊
Ps well done Hydromet

[Hydromet]

Thank you all, that was a great picture that invited some fine captions. I shall try to find a worth successor.

Back shortly.

[Hydromet]

OK ladies & gentlemen, have a go at this one.


https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/978x1200/photo_dolphin_9124771a49f773c8c1ac89ec5a830de3b6efe21c.jpg

[Chu Chu]

I told you it was bad idea dumping that spent fuel overboard.

[ShyTorque]

“Look at the size of that watch! It must be a pilot whale!”

[Attitude!]

Pretty large crew for a 737......

[treadigraph]

Flipper was so fed up with being filmed by tourists, he ordered a digital video camera from Amazon...

[treadigraph]

...followed by SPLASH! and "you did that on porpoise!"

[622]

"Errrr Skipper, I think you might be speeding again!"

[622]

Im sorry Flipper, but you have been given an ASBO, so you will have to wear the tag until the court agrees otherwise!

[Kiltrash]

Well obvious init, I'm a bottle nose and this is my opener...

[Kiltrash]

Out the way, Orcas right behind me, thinks I'm a sprat.....

[Kiltrash]

( in Russian ) Well it totally confuses the sonar on Vigil...

[Kiltrash]

Well normally it's the " Hi Cone ' that I get tangled up in
( To save you looking it up, Hi Cone is the UK name for the plastic thingy that is used to hold 4 beer cans together in the shops
.. in a previous life it was one of the things I was involved in designing. .so it's all my fault..)

[Ascend Charlie]

"Eeewww, dolphin piddling on me!"

[Kiltrash]

...and today Mathew I shall be John Thaw, in his " Sweeny ' days, chasing the bad boy Mackerel. These sure are some slippery fish..

[treadigraph]

Filming gets underway for the new action movie Fishing Impossible starring Dolphin Lundgren who also does his own stunts.

[Kiltrash]

Yes I've been tagged by John West, they only select the best, they reject the rest....
* other canning companies are available..

[Kiltrash]

If Carlsberg did fishing trips, they would be the best fishing trips ever...
* other watered down beers are available

[NutLoose]

Damn I better be more specific with this Aladdins lamp thing, a smooth skinned fit female with a cute face, the slight wiff of fish and a desire to film our sex just isn't going to work..

[NutLoose]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/978x1200/photo_dolphin_9124771a49f773c8c1ac89ec5a830de3b6efe21c_c7887 a30901388b20f7e02ce7121b22056e6a3d5.jpg

[NutLoose]

There's something fishy about all of this.

[NutLoose]

You're filming me on porpoise, aren't you?..

[NutLoose]

I'm an animal rights protester in disguise just back from filming the senseless mass killing of Dolphins off the Faroes.

[Wensleydale]

...and on the next series of "The Masked Singer", Bjork takes things one step too far.

[Dan Gerous]

Go on, give us a wave.

[Dan Gerous]

It's a sniper pod, watch out for the incoming eco friendly, bio degradable weapon load.

[Chu Chu]

After the U.S.S. Connecticut accident, the Navy begins training escorts with flashlights.

[Buster Hyman]

Christ! They've already countered our Sharks with friggen laser beams!

[Kiltrash]

Gonna need a bigger boat...

[cavuman1]

"It puts the lotion on its skin."

- Ed

[cavuman1]

"The power of Christ compels you!"

- Ed

[NutLoose]

Ahh.. I see you have a blow hole, you must be from the jetblast forum...

[NutLoose]

Fancy a jump?

[Kiltrash]

At St Ives the harbour tours guarantee you will see Dolphins jumping out the water....
"It's all done with this little button and the 600v TENS machine " . Explained the operator to Greta on her holidays

[Kiltrash]

In the Marine Mammal High jump S20 Paralympic event Flipper had the Swimming in Circle duo event competition sorted

[Kiltrash]

The over wing engine were designed to combat water ingress. However due to Climate Change it was all a bit pointless

[Kiltrash]

As Flipper performed the triple back somersault he was heard to say..." Goodbye and thanks for all the fish.."
( Cr Douglas Adams...)

[Kiltrash]

This? No its the " Japanese Whaling Ship Alert System '" Fitted by Boeing, what could possibly go wrong??

[Big Pistons Forever]

It’s the gun camera for the anti swimmer dolphin. They were getting pissed after not being credited with kills.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Look Ma….No hands!

[Big Pistons Forever]

Yah it’s a Chinese dolphin, how did you know ?

[Big Pistons Forever]

Good thing that thing is not a death ray…..Oh wait….

[Kiltrash]

Bae System Barrow present the new Periscope Mast for the Dreadnought class SSBN. However still can't quite disguise the Optics...
That's another £10m please. ..

[Kiltrash]

Attenborough presents the camera ship for his new underwater series...." Blue Planet ( swimming through raw sewage off the South Coast of England ) .

[Kiltrash]

Police Scotland show off the surveylance system for Cop 26 in the River Clyde....
It's all natural should keep the tree huggers happy.

[treadigraph]

Oi! You tell bloody Greta Garbage from me that I'm a bloody carnivore and tuna is wot I eats. Bloody seaweed! Bloody crustacean food is bloody seaweed...

[cliver029]

And Cilla jumped out shouting suprise!

[Dan Gerous]

What's that Skippy, young Toby's fell down a mine shaft.
Have I got the right script?

[Ninthace]

Flipper finds gainful employment as a freelance paparazzi. Next stop Mustique.

[Kiltrash]

USN train dolphins to swim under the Russian vessel and take photographs before escaping at speed.
If only we had these in Portsmouth..mused Buster ( Crabb)

[Kiltrash]

Tiddles later promised to take on little birds only after a particularly stressful time catching a minnow...
( Should have gone to Specsavers. ..other Opticians are available )

[Dan Gerous]

OK Flipper, we need a surface and a sub surface pass along the nudist beach.
Aye aye Cap'n

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/978x1200/photo_dolphin_9124771a49f773c8c1ac89ec5a830de3b6efe21c_c7887 a30901388b20f7e02ce7121b22056e6a3d5.jpg

[cavuman1]

If you're happy and you know it, clap your, errr, flippers!

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

What's the time Flipper??
How the frigging heck should I know, I'm only a dumb animal...

[Kiltrash]

Hoskins descides to test the manufacturer guarantee that his new watch is water resistant to 50m.

[Kiltrash]

This? I found it on top of the Police Box in Sauchihall Street. After the great flood of 2021

[Hydromet]

Starting to slow down, so last call - judging at 2200Z.

[treadigraph]

Maritime crime statistics showed that dolphins were particularly good at distraction robberies...

[Kiltrash]

Mobile Sonar Device for disadvantaged Mammal. ...only £10bn

[NutLoose]

Good news, the Government has awarded you a payrise, you will now get 2% more fish.

[NutLoose]

Is that a fisheye lens?

[cavuman1]

Porpoise to Man: "Excuse me, might I borrow some Viagra? My dorsal fin seems to have gone limp!"

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

Daily Mail Headline.

High Flying fish causes automated Early Warning System to activate in Hawaii

[Hydromet]

Proving that an early entry is a good entry and should not go unPUNished, the CST goes to Shy Torque, for “Look at the size of that watch! It must be a pilot whale!”

The CST will be delivered in a whale.

[artee]

Proving that an early entry is a good entry and should not go unPUNished, the CST goes to Shy Torque, for “Look at the size of that watch! It must be a pilot whale!”

The CST will be delivered in a whale.

In a whale crocadale?

[ShyTorque]

Hydromet,

Many thanks, it’s been a very long time since I was first at anything!

However, as I have now given up trying to post any photos on these hallowed pages, to avoid delay I wish to offer the floor open to anyone who can and also to judge the next round? I will flipper the trophy along to the next winner.

[andytug]

OK then.....how about this one?


https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/540x304/fb_img_1635003227520_60d456883dbeca40cdc7a09ee39bf79b97e4f22 7.jpg

[treadigraph]

It's a Bell-Deere-veer...

[treadigraph]

...or a MASHy-Fergusson...

[NutLoose]

One man went to mow...went to mow a meadow

[NutLoose]

The USSR shows off its latest Collective farm tractor

[NutLoose]

It's designed to be environmentally friendly and is recyclicable

[treadigraph]

So that's what the Power Take Off gizmo on the back of me tractor is for...

[treadigraph]

Hoskins, when I asked you to design a rotavator to fit our tractor, that wasn't quite what I had in mind...

[NutLoose]

Yes, this is the rival companies product built by ww2 pilot Al Deere, John Deere's brother

[NutLoose]

Surely if it's a tractor engine, it should be at the back?

[Ninthace]

If Carlsberg made tractors.

[Kiltrash]

Irish farmer goes for his rotary licence

[Kiltrash]

No Mr John C Bamford, I expect you to die...

[Kiltrash]

Not even the runway at Edwards is long enough to allow take off
or
Not even the runway at Edwards has seen such a contraption

[treadigraph]

A new concept in hover mowers...

Or

It's a lot less bovver in the hover...

[Kiltrash]

At Redhill the tractor driver did not hear Alan shout to " STOP "
Sorry sir, it was all the racket the ringing from the bell in my ears, I have Tinnitus you see...

[Kiltrash]

Well if the Trident can use the curvature of the Earth for take off, thought I would try that..

[Kiltrash]

All the farmers in the area clubbed together to invest in a ' Speedy Tractor ' at harvest time

[Kiltrash]

First design for the Lunar Lander did not meet with universal approval

[622]

What is it? .....well an old piece of redundant farm equipment and a large set of blades....

..obviously....its an 'Ex-tractor fan'!

[622]

God, I love the smell of Silage in the morning!

[Ascend Charlie]

A smarter way to keep the frost off the asparagus plants, doesn't need a pilot licence and the hover height is consistent.

Not so good for cherry trees, though.

[622]

"Hello..is that the Genie complaints line...

..well, when I said I wanted a large chopper that would impress the farmers daughter next door.....it's not exactly what I had in mind!"

[622]

Hoskins finally realised the newsagent had made a mistake with his order of 'Build you own helicopter in 500 weekly installments'....somewhere around week 250!

...luckily the farmer next door had the same problem with his tractor project!

[Wensleydale]

There is new hope for farmers who keep getting lost in their maize fields.

[Wensleydale]

On the set for Clarkson's Farm, new evidence is spotted that Jeremy is going rogue once more.

[ShyTorque]

“It’s OK, it suits me….I’m a really agricultural pilot”


“That’s really asking to buy the farm!”

[NutLoose]

If they can do it to a jeep, why cant I?



https://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2015/09/british-flying-jeep/

[NutLoose]

I called it the MK1 bacon slicer, until we get the abattoirs fully up and running I throw them into the rear one for mince and lift them into the upper one for bacon slices.

[treadigraph]

We wanted 20 more Chinooks, Defence Procurement Agency got us this instead...

[Kiltrash]

Dammit when I was out thought along the lines of Clarkson and Grand Tour....missed again.
however

Go Go Inspector Gadget..

[Kiltrash]

MRCA. ..
Multi Role Combine 'arvester. ..

[Kiltrash]

Well we have already done tbe Transit van into a Hovercraft.....mused May as the Top Gear Technology Centre revealed its latest creation. ..

[Kiltrash]

I've taxed worse

[Kiltrash]

Never make the 10 top list of....anything.

[NutLoose]

I think we have cured the problem of ground resonance

[NutLoose]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/540x304/image_62080550ff024fb627521882f14510621c98ffaa.jpeg

[NutLoose]

Crash? I’m often plowing in.

[Chu Chu]

If you can have an autogyro, why not a tractorgyro.

[Chu Chu]

Obviously the tractor has been converted to electric drive, and the generator at the base of the rotor mast charges the battery.

[Self loading bear]

It was not yet clear if McCormick had tinkered with a Bell or that Bell had a designed a Farmall-egory.

[Kiltrash]

No one could work out the licensing authority....DVLA .. CAA ...DEFRA...MOD...LSD....MASH...BREXIT....CIA...GCHQ....
if we turn round three times and click our heels perhaps it will go away...

[Hydromet]

Now to go out and create some crop circles.

[cavuman1]

The lights were low. The timing was right. Mr. Bell - meet Miss Massey-Ferguson.

- Ed

[NutLoose]

The autogiro was deemed a failure when it was realised the tractor couldn't get up to sufficient speed to maintain rotor velocity.

[NutLoose]

Oh Deere…..

[NutLoose]

Future designs of the Wessex would remove the two front wheels and fit a single tail wheel.

[Kiltrash]

Dillon, ( magic roundabout ) stop eating the Mushrooms, and it will just ffffade away...

[Kiltrash]

As a extra measure 50 cals are fitted to make it a gunship.....Farmer John is finally at the end of his tether with them damm crows eating his corn.

[Kiltrash]

In a nod to the Climate Change Lobby, Wacky Racers design non flying machines.... Old habits die hard.

[treadigraph]

If Ken Wallis had been a farmer...

[Kiltrash]

The students are given a Meccano* set and their design comes to life...
* other child aged 5-10 educational toys are available.

But Sarge they are the 2nd year engineering students, arn't you Nutty?

[Kiltrash]

When they recovered the lost overboard shipping container the Airfix boxes had all split open and got intermingled...

[Kiltrash]

Nightmare on Elm Street 5 action toy is released in time for Halloween

[treadigraph]

For Whom the Bell Ploughs...

[Wensleydale]

"I'm sorry Commander Bond: Aston Martin were too expensive for this mission".

[Chu Chu]

Stalin promises the the collective will lift Russia from famine.

[Chu Chu]

Hoskins sets out to prove that you can fertilize forty acres with a fart.

[treadigraph]

♪ I drove my tractor through your chopper last night, oo arr, oo arr... ♫

[Kiltrash]

I drive my chopper through your bush last night ..

[Kiltrash]

Think the original ' Aero car ' had more promise...

[Kiltrash]

The President arrives in Glasgow...well no one would expect tbe most powerful man in the World to use distraction to travel safely...Taxi for Boris...In his dreams

[Ascend Charlie]

"Distractor?? Dis tractor is de best in da woild!"

[Wensleydale]

Old MacDonald decides to rescue his goat which was stuck up in a cloud bank.

[Wensleydale]

...and Heseltine resigned over this??

[Kiltrash]

Hoksins aged 7.75 designed a tractor that is guaranteed not to trample the farmers crops...
( my phone does not have a three quarters button. )

[Dan Gerous]

When you say "tractor engined"...

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/540x304/image_62080550ff024fb627521882f14510621c98ffaa.jpeg