Caption Competition Mk III

[Kiltrash]

' No Mr Bond, I expect you to die '

[Kiltrash]

May I respectively suggest a temporary cessation of PPRuNe humour untill after the funeral as a mark of respect.
Long live the King

[Ascend Charlie]

Come on Kilty, it is humour that will help you get through it all. And every time I hear "King Charles" I keep hearing "Spaniel".

[Buster Hyman]

Kilty, I think it’s an individual choice really. This is an International forum and to each their own. I’m saddened like many others and will miss Betty but, as always, life goes on.

[Kiltrash]

I think the lack of comic quips speak volume so as Arnie says, " i'll be back " .after the funeral

[NutLoose]

And when I drop it we should be able to record the nought to sixty for the specifications.

[Confusious]

And when I drop it we should be able to record the nought to sixty for the specifications.
....and who cares if Richard Hammond survives to enjoy the glory.

[treadigraph]

It might be noisy but at least we can't hear Nicholas Witchell...

[j4leaphill]

Elon Musk trials shop and drop service for future customers.

[Dan Gerous]

OK I'm going to call this now and give it to Buster with,

Okay, let’s see how Tesla’s Autopilot handles this!

[timmcat]

Do your worst...



https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1430x593/306114964_10160402330766399_7819720445384861777_n_41538a56c6 72ff1b415c7029cc0c42dd67bd892d.jpg

[Peter Fanelli]

There's water here, I can feel it.

[El Grifo]

That second corner at Silverstone !
The one before the bloody chicane !!

El G.

[treadigraph]

Gordon: Boris, who is that bloke behind my right shoulder? Come to that, who's that on my right?

Boris: Search me Gordo, I was thinking the same thing...

[Krystal n chips]

Cameron shown avidly reading his Big Book of Dave's Achievements

[Cornish Jack]

" Were the Devil to cast his net, ... (what a fine haul he'd make !)"

[Sallyann1234]

Cameron : If I could get these hands round Farage's neck....

[treadigraph]

CMD: "I drove my Landy through your cornfield last night..."

TM: "Eek, my treasured memory of childhood naughtiness has been violated..."




bbbb

[Torquetalk]

Cameron: "You know, what nobody mentions is how bloody close we were to winning that referendum I called"

[NutLoose]

So it’s true, you have got golden balls.

[NutLoose]

Welcome to the has been row Boris..


​​​​​….

[NutLoose]

Yes Theresa It’s a wrist problem similar to what typists suffer from, it’s called Nintendoitis


.

[NutLoose]

I thought this was The ex Prime Ministers row Boris, should I tell Starmer to bog orf

[NutLoose]

I hear there are problems with the Funeral procession, Sadie Khan is insisting it halts to pay the congestion charges.

[anxiao]

And I just slip this garrotte over his neck and there you are...

[NutLoose]

And I never took my eye off the economy…

That would be your blind one?

[Senior Paper Monitor]

... and the collective noun is ?

[j4leaphill]

Cameron saying to may "And when i was at eton,me and sam used to roll and smoke joints this big!!"

[Buster Hyman]

Thanks Dan. I'll pop this up for those who still wish to add captions during this time. For those that will pause for a while, we'll see you when you're back! :ok:


https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/634x351/39c9ab5900000578_0_image_a_22_1477605427656_3e25b5c3c62aad5c 9d906ace24d1a9ad91d9be77.jpg

[NutLoose]

Is that your list of accomplishments David?

[RatherBeFlying]

The Horsemen of Brexit

[N707ZS]

THRAP!!!! Now who smelt it or delt it.

[Stockportcounty]

Then I would take your Stilleto heels like so, and errrr

[Confusious]

David, now is not the time to mimic my dance moves.

[NutLoose]

If Blair strokes my bottom again, I will deck him with this post..

[NutLoose]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1430x593/image_a09a6f8f4555c7888dc979cf1d9e67e36341a445.jpeg

[NutLoose]

So you must have said something to her majesty for her to take a bad turn.

[Confusious]

Theresa, I do like your pearl necklace. My Sam has been asking for one for years.

[Dan Gerous]

There! Over there, that's Russia. I want it!

[Dan Gerous]

Talking of the privvy, you wouldnt happen to know where it is?

[Confusious]

GB: Boris, do me a favour and tell that bafoon on your left to stop constantly rehearsing his words. All he has to say is 'God save the King' a few times.

[Confusious]

Gordon old chap, you've still got a good head of hair on you.
Boris, have been thinking that so could you have.

[Confusious]

YES! Feels so good to be back at the front without the the weight of that Cleggy on my coat-tailes.

[Ascend Charlie]

"Sorry, Grorrious Reader, there isn't enough space up here for us all to do "Opa Gangnam Style" dancing. The sub is about to capsize anyway..."

[cavuman1]

"You! Mushbrain Pigdog Biden! I dare you to pull my finger!"

- Ed

[cynicalint]

I'm on a Romeo. I want to be on that Juliet!

[treadigraph]

There! That's the seagull that shat on me! Destroy it with a cruise missile NOW!

Grorious Leader no missiles on board, this Pyongyang Corporation trolleybus...

[Ascend Charlie]

"That's the fool who left the window open when we submerged last time! Give him the anti-aircraft gun salute!"

[Hydromet]

"Ferrymaster! There's the football stadium! Just drop me off there.

[Carl Spaatz]

What's the buffet like?

[Hydromet]

"...so I held the pig like this..."

[7of9]

David Cameron, “I was watching Caddyshack last night, that Gopher was dancing just like this!”

[Krystal n chips]

"David, I am not the slightest bit interested in learning about what you consider to be an appropriate size "

[Grayfly]

This photo is everywhere on other platforms with captions.
I liked:
Brown to Boris, did you comb your hair with a toffee apple?
Cameron, if I can find the right wires I might be able to reboot the Maybot out of battery safe mode.

[treadigraph]

I WANNA ICECREAM!

[NutLoose]

Och, they say Gentlemen prefer blondes, but I can tell you Boris, I do not!

[NutLoose]

Rumour has it Putin may take the honourable way out and step out of a seventh floor window, what’s your plans Boris?

[Dan Gerous]

Boris: OMG, I've just realised, this is the EX PM's line!

[Dan Gerous]

Theresa: God I wish Penny would come over and we could talk about shoes, clothes, curtains, anything, so I wouldn't have to listen to this moron.

[B Fraser]

Starmer : "Just look at that shower, and I'm the under-achiever."

[NutLoose]

I wonder how Liz is finding your changing rooms decorating nightmare..

[Beer_n_Tabs]

Boris: Uh-oh, I think I need a check wipe, I might have just followed through

[NutLoose]

All those guilty of warcrimes take one step back.

[treadigraph]

Gordon: What have you done with Clegg?

Boris: Tied him up back-to-back with Corbyn in a remote location. Do you think we should release them after the funeral if they behave...?

Gordon: Nah! Wait till after the Coronation.

[treadigraph]

Boris: Psssst! I think you are standing on Wee Nick, Gordon...

Gordon: Yes, I know...

[Cat3508]

I say Boris, could you give me the name of your hair dresser !

[Avionker]

Never before, in the field of UK domestic politics, have so few f@&ked up so much, for so many.

[Krystal n chips]

G.B to Boris (in his best Private Fraser impression) "Ye do ken Boris, ye've never had any friends in the past man ...and ye have nae got any noo....we're only here fae the photo....nae to see you.... I just thought ye'd like to nae " .

[treadigraph]

(Nicked from elsewhere)

Gordo: I've the most in common with her, I was never elected either...

[fitliker]

Painted in Glasgow Corporation Green they are all set to sail up the Clyde , I wonder if they will paint a bus number on the front to complete the cunning disguise to invade Govan

[NutLoose]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/634x351/image_63c64507759e3323fc68802e64e852e642fbea2d.png

Look I want a washing machine like that Russian is stealing, not an old top loader and mangle like this one.

[NutLoose]

Cwymi a!....

[NutLoose]

I want you to wush down below and take finger like this and plug leaks.

[NutLoose]

Those bluudy Germans, they sell me Diesel Submaween and cheat on emissions, Amewicans can smell us miles away..

[treadigraph]

Dive! Dive! Dive!

Not yet Grorious Reader, wait till we ins... aiyeeee glub glub, you stupid glub fat c...glub glub glub....

[Dan Gerous]

In the Navy, one day we may go out to sea,
In the Navy, put up a sail and catch a breeze,
In the Navy, and go and fight the Japanese,
In the Navy, in the Navy.

[Confusious]

There, over there, we must kill with weapons. It's the one who called me a big fat faced chain smoking North Korean tyrant with a Fred Flintstone haircut and severe body odour.

I don't think you smell our great leader.

[Confusious]

GB - Oi Bojo, ya wee man Cameron is wearing the colours of your party.
BJ - Ohh, errm [panicking] it wasn't my uh party and there errm, uh wasn't a dress code.
KS - [just the look].

[Confusious]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1430x593/image_a09a6f8f4555c7888dc979cf1d9e67e36341a445_338f3d7b72907 007ab8ba196dddc228575adca63.jpeg

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Look you fools....aircraft on the starboard bow! Crash dive now!!
Sorry Glorious Leader, the DPRK submarine service doesn't do crash dives. It takes us 10 minutes to get our hats through the hatch.

[NutLoose]

Is that the invitation you sent to Nicola Sturgeon David?

[NutLoose]

Just remember we are supposed to be the cream of British politics Boris.

[NutLoose]

GB

Och no, so he’s the leader of the opposition?, I thought he was some sort of security wally.


..

[NutLoose]

David, are you sure that’s not Bill Clinton behind me? I can feel a damp spot on my dress.

[NutLoose]

You do realise Boris we are failing miserably on our Diversity Quotas, only two women and everyone’s white, heck even the RAF manage’s better than that.

[NutLoose]

Yes Theresa they are my speech notes, I had them on a white sheet of paper, but was worried I would be arrested for holding it.

[B Fraser]

Gordon Brown "Boris, if you decide to have a sneaky fart, always ensure you have an escape route should you follow through."


Do we have a winner yet ?

[Dan Gerous]

Tell that lighthouse to get out of my way.

[622]

Thats the Tailor.....bring him back and get him finish my sleeves!

[NutLoose]

I said fire on that ship..
But..
No but's, fire..
But, it WAS OURS!



Should have gone to specsavers..

[622]

In an act of blind obedience...Captain Hung licks the sweat from the Glorious leaders arm

[Chu Chu]

Turn 20 degrees to port.

[Self loading bear]

Why is this bridge so small?

Because it is a submarine, you Glorious Leader.

Why do we have submarines?
We do not dive away as cowards in face of the enemy!

No sir, we don’t do that!
(whispering; anymore, since we have to do our own maintenance)

[MPN11]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/634x351/image_63c64507759e3323fc68802e64e852e642fbea2d.png

[MPN11]

Look, that man has catch fish … I hungry … chase him NOW!

[MPN11]

“Look … arm torpedo things … that looks like Wiggy …”

[MPN11]

“Hey, you, big Grouper fish … come here and kiss Great Leader.”

[treadigraph]

Tell that shark I want my left arm back... NOW!

[Confusious]

Quick, there's my friend.
But you don't have any.....GULP!

[treadigraph]

In the Navy, come on, protect the motherrand, in the Navy... You! Shaddap or I give you my YMCA...

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

On recognising the possible collision with the approaching oil tanker, Kim Jong-un's choice of the brown corduroy trousers proved well suited to the day.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

On assuming command, Glorious Leader's shouted helm commands of "Go that way!" were so confusing to the helmsman below that the appropriate commands were surreptitiously passed down by the Watch Officer on pieces of paper through the open window.

[treadigraph]

I thought we go out for American-style sandwich, not a bloody sail around the harbour...

[Ascend Charlie]

"Rook at my Generals! They all got notepads and prenty medals! Why you not got?"
(Thinks) "we no need list, we already got list to port from this fat slug".
(Aloud) "Grorious Reader, the medals make our compass go round in circles."

[treadigraph]

We all live on the yerrow submarine.... 'Ere! Why it painted green?

[Chu Chu]

We've broken down! Call the AAA! *

Is it a new Naval Chief of Staff we'll be needing, Sir?

*Other automobile clubs are available.

[622]

Errrrr....I don't think thats one of our missiles glorious leader ....I'm just going dowstairs....

[NickB]

"It was that chap there - he was the one who cut my hair!"

[treadigraph]

Eenie meenie minie mo...

Careful o Glorious One, even we have laws to prevent giving offence....

[MPN11]

“Look at that procession … I want one like that”

Lackey thinks … “You have to be dead first. We can always hope …”

[Confusious]

There's my marbles!

[NutLoose]

I think I go back to mortaring my Generals, this torpedoing my Admirals is much to difficult.

[NutLoose]

Just one pong Captain…
It’s ping beloved Leader…
You treat me as fool, I know Ping Pong, I play with beloved Sister…
You are fired, or will be as soon as you report to the torpedo room..

[NutLoose]

I know all navy terms…You there, swab those dicks, I want them salty clean,

[NutLoose]

Normandy!….. Fukc we’re late…

[Ascend Charlie]

"You sure this aeroplane taking me to meet Putin in Kazakhstan? That look like Jerkoffistan over there! And anyway, why this plane taking so long to make fry?"

[treadigraph]

Up periscope! Oooooooooooohhhhh Matron!

[Buster Hyman]

I think we can let Tubby submerge now!

By order of the Premier supplier of Military equipment to the Sovie...err...Russian Federation, I hereby declare MPN11 the winner!
Look, that man has catch fish … I hungry … chase him NOW!

[MPN11]

Oooh, thank you Buster. My week in Jamaica had clearly improved my performance!

Have at this one ... I guess there's a Military connection lurking there ...


https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/976x549/_125981120_cf3dfc720c5eb2e9ef02b95d1f48d434c82701e056_18_233 2_13121000x563_711bc591d391eef75db3752c5993d9c9d111dbdd.jpg

[622]

..and just one final question Mr Putin, how much notice do you have to give your current employer?

[622]

...and to take it into the gutter...

"Next time please use the tissues provided and not my flag"

[NutLoose]

Look, there is no hair on my palms.

[NutLoose]

You don't perchance know of a decent carpet fitter do you?

[NutLoose]

I must admit, having my photo attached to my turban so the peasants could see me was not a smart move.

[NutLoose]

Let us hope the gullible public do not notice both of our shadows go in different directions.

[treadigraph]

Political Asylum? Well now, I'm not sure...

[NutLoose]

I am sorry we could not display your Countries flag next to ours, but as soon as we located one, the Ukrainians, either set fire to it, tore it in half or urinated on it.

[treadigraph]

You ask where is your flag... we aren't sure whether the RF still has one.

[NutLoose]

Do you know what the Americans call us? IRAN....... Inspect, Repair As Necessary..

[treadigraph]

It's OK, my people will edit out the table...

[treadigraph]

It's OK, my people will edit in the table...

[treadigraph]

So Mr Takeout, I'm sorry, Mr Putin, how can I be of help?

[NutLoose]

No, No, it is not about Covid at all President Putin, our advisers suggested the distance apart to avoid any possible blast injuries to ones self

[NutLoose]

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/976x549/image_f0f58d6a3c364d7ef772771d420629d732b9c472.png

[NutLoose]

With this hand I wipe the excrement off my bottom, so it was perfectly acceptable to shake your hand with it Mr Putin

[NutLoose]

So in return for our drones you will supply us with your best equipment yes? Good, we will require HIMARS from you.

[622]

I don't think our G2 is really going to work.....

[treadigraph]

You need aircraft? I've got around 40 F-14 Tomcats you can buy. I rather thought you'd be asking for tanks...

[treadigraph]

The honourable exit is that way. Don't worry about the step down, it looks higher than it really is.

[622]

Windows Mr Putin? ....not likely when I am meeting you!

[Confusious]

Final offer, I'll take the whole job lot off your hands for 100 rubles per cubic metre.

[Confusious]

Just before you leave, that'll be 500 rubles for charging your phone.

[Confusious]

Following your meeting with Xi, am I now your last hope Mr. Putin?

[treadigraph]

You want advice Mr Putin? You have a large credibility gap. Buy longer trousers and keep your socks covered up...

[NutLoose]

So you want to rent my Republican Guard?

[NutLoose]

Remember Mr Putin, in our past we have had a long war with Iraq, who operated inferior equipment similar to what you have.... ohh wait a minute, did you sell it to them?

[treadigraph]

You won't catch ME riding around on a horse shirtless and displaying my sagging tits...

[NutLoose]

And as you saw from our prospectus Mr Putin, this house will suit your needs, it is large, has room for your security staff and more importantly, no windows.

[NutLoose]

I hear you have an excess of gas Mr Putin, I will instruct my servant to bring you a couple of Rennie.

[Buster Hyman]

...So...Is this your first Colonoscopy?

[NutLoose]

Do not worry, we are a country of sand, there will be no falling off the back of your yacht here.

[Buster Hyman]

"And I can assure you, you are safe from assassins here...wait, where did that table come from?"

[NutLoose]

And living here you can have many wives and goats..... goats drrooooolll..... sorry, where were we Mr Putin.

[NutLoose]

There will be no riding a white stallion topless here Mr Putin, we are all camel jockeys.

[Buster Hyman]

"No, we've had no problem with North Korean weapons. Having said that, their AA guns don't shoot up, only straight & level...odd that..."

[NutLoose]

And as you can see, in my country we have no windows and no need for curtains, so we wear them instead.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/976x549/image_35a091dc8cf0db92a57b6d79e903eea18dff9e10.png

[NutLoose]

You and your upper echelon will fit in right at home here, were did you think Ali Babba and the forty thieves originated?

[622]

So, neither of us have any where to go on Monday then.....

[MPN11]

Well, as this has gone slow,
I shall call tomorrow (Friday).
Please have fresh ammunition available!

[NutLoose]

God I hate doctors waiting rooms..

[treadigraph]

Those Tomcats I offered you. I'll swap them for a decent carpet...

[NutLoose]

I’m here for my piles, what about you?

[Chu Chu]

While Putin refused to admit defeat, the absence of Biden and Truss left a glaring gap at the commemorative conference.

[Confusious]

With twelve no shows, I'm not sure how we can proceed with item number one on the agenda which is to vote in the president of our new alliance. Tell me Mr. Putin, how did you manage to achieve 137% of the votes when you were elected?

[NutLoose]

It must be bad Vlad, if I am the only country to turn up to your proposed peace deal.

[Dan Gerous]

Tell me Mr Putin, have you seen the film "Casino Royale"?
No I have not?
Then make yourself comfortable, we're about to start negotiating.

[treadigraph]

Gas and oil we have an abundance of, Mr Putin. Alcohol however... he asked him knowingly, know what I mean, nudge nudge, grin grin, Schnapps Schnapps, drink drink...

Vodka?

Anything...

[NutLoose]

Girls...Girls...you want girls? what is wrong with the complimentary goat we left in your VIP suite?

[Ascend Charlie]

"Why you ease up on one butt cheek, Vlad? You gonna....ohh, my...that borscht is really OFF!"

[MPN11]

Oh, decisions, decisions ... to invade or not?

Horrible mentions to the following ...

Treadigraph, who had my caption in mind:
It's OK, my people will edit in the table...

Nutloose:
God I hate doctors waiting rooms..

Nutloose again:
So you want to rent my Republican Guard?

But ... the new holder of the CST, once it makes its way though the 24h queue for the late HMQ's Lying in State is ...
622.
So, neither of us have any where to go on Monday then.....

God Save The King.

[MPN11]

We apologise for the break in the Competition.
PM sent to 622

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

[NutLoose]

He’s probably watching the repeat of the repeat of the repeats of the funeral.

[Buster Hyman]

He’s probably watching the repeat of the repeat of the repeats of the funeral.
Just like your captions...

[NutLoose]

You mean the ones you copy?

:}

[622]

Fear not I am here....

Many thanks for the award......lets move on to this.

What has Doris just said?.....

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/299x168/images_999328d3436312d593ac2214f01db9f97a9bb441.jpg

[treadigraph]

Is this Ryan Air dear?

[Confusious]

He must have farted again!

[cavuman1]

"Exactly what is that stewardess doing to your lap, Dear?"

- Ed

[Confusious]

Wish I had listened to my mother.

[Wensleydale]

"...and one day, a woman will be the pilot!"

[MPN11]

“No, dear, you know I don’t do oral.”

[MPN11]

“Honey, this Safety Leaflet is hilarious!”

[Confusious]

He's laughing in his sleep, hope he doesn't have his other type of dream.

[NutLoose]

Maybe I should have charge those children more than a shilling for trying to get the ball in the laughing clowns mouth.

[NutLoose]

What a state to be lying in, let’s hope the BBC does not find out, we will have reruns of it on TV for weeks.

[NutLoose]

That’ll teach the bastard behind me to stick his knees in my seat back.

[MPN11]

Her ... "I'm glad we can still have a cigarette after that. I hope they don't change the rules."

[Confusious]

He's getting on really well with that tart behind me. I'll just pop this wee tablet in his tea.

[Buster Hyman]

You mean the ones you copy?

:}
That's rich! Considering the last comp! := #13346

[Buster Hyman]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/299x168/images_999328d3436312d593ac2214f01db9f97a9bb441.jpg
...And then Nutty said that I copied him!!! Bwahahahaha!!!

[NutLoose]

Women in blue…

WTF does Alluhu Akbar mean?

[treadigraph]

Edgar doesn't usually laugh like that when we're at home...

[treadigraph]

Oh, stewardess... my husband seems to have wet himself, could you see to him please?

[Chu Chu]

You promised not to laugh at my diary.

[Chu Chu]

Go ahead and read dear. CapComp MK III will close out soon, and I've already got the order in to the printers.

[Confusious]

I hope he hasn't followed through again.

[cavuman1]

"I wonder if he's grimacing from holding the main spar down with his feet?"

- Ed

[Confusious]

Catching the water droplets from the air conditioning thinking that he's bucked the system with free water.

[Ascend Charlie]

"Why is he laughing so hard at that book, "The wit of Donald Trump", when there is only one page in it? OMG! He must be a Republican!! My mother must never know!"

[treadigraph]

Guy in seat 7B doesn't seem to happy about getting a coffee dumped in his lap...

[Buster Hyman]

("Oh God. I think he's waiting for his Grapes!")

[Dan Gerous]

Hah, no Miss, my doctorate is in Gothic and Victorian poetry, not medicine.

[[email protected]]

It is easy for a housewife to confuse the French and Russian flags my dear I must admit , they have the same colours but in a different order and Napoleon and Putin seem to have a similar grasp of military tactics.......

[Self loading bear]

Sales agent reads little book with predictions:
Sales and seat pitch will both be shortened to 30”

[NutLoose]

Why on earth would he want me to sit on his face.

[NutLoose]

I wonder if what he says is true, that you need to opens one’s mouth to equalise pressure during ascent to prevent farting.

[Chu Chu]

What’s so funny darling? We’ve always known they beat the Germans all by themselves.

[Kiltrash]

The cabin waits with baited breath for the return of Kiltrash after his period of mourning ....

[Kiltrash]

What a stroke of luck, darling you getting a raging abcess at 30000ft..... and this was a plane full of Dentists heading for a convention

[Kiltrash]

On AF1 tonight when Jill told THAT joke to Joe about the truth behind Nutty and Busters ' Friendship '

[Kiltrash]

Doris was not impressed when she discovered the vibrating seat C1 was disabled under MEL allowance ....and her husband refused to swop.

[Kiltrash]

Bill overdossed on Viagra....again

[Kiltrash]

Lucky or what darling, getting the last two seats on the inaugural Comet flight? ?

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/299x168/images_999328d3436312d593ac2214f01db9f97a9bb441.jpg

[Kiltrash]

My these seats on the Caledonian Sleeper train sure are comfortable. Just think darling tomorrow we wake up in Corrour* Station
* If you have ever been to Corrour think yourself fortunate ...

[Confusious]

Not a caption.
Welcome back Kilty.

[Confusious]

Mrs. Kilty: Look at him, he's laughing at his own captions again!

[NutLoose]

If I pour my hot tea in his lap, that will wipe the smile off his face.

[treadigraph]

Not a Caption...


* If you have ever been to Corrour think yourself fortunate ...
I have been through it twice. A far more hospitable location than East Croydon! :)

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Woman in blue: " Wonder if I can use an advance on the insurance money to get an immediate upgrade to First?"

[Kiltrash]

Doris discovers that the anti smoking group have the power to photoshop out the offending item.....from ' Hanky panky ' adverts

[Kiltrash]

Doris thanks Hank for the Pearl Necklace ...

[Kiltrash]

The mind of the woman.....thinks
Hank never has a second cup of coffee,.... =.... .he's having an affair

[Kiltrash]

Doris wonders whatever happened to the man she married....Marlborough Man.

[Kiltrash]

On the flight over to New York, The Prime Ministers husband gets to read a draft of her speech to the U N.

[MPN11]

“We apologise for the delay in departure. This is due to a technical issue. We will get back to you with updates later.”j

[NutLoose]

Thank God they haven't invented defibrillators yet.

[NutLoose]

Look at him, rubbing his slimy brylcreamed hair all over the headrest without a thought for those that have to sit there next.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/299x168/image_dff7c3a2e1ab096dfaad83892408d8e0d1d0ce9b.png

[NutLoose]

God, I thought these obnoxious loud mouths only flew RyanAir

[NutLoose]

Wait until he gets down the booklet to the add ones, he won't be laughing then when he see's the excess baggage charge for his damned golf clubs and cart.

[MPN11]

God, I thought these obnoxious loud mouths only flew RyanAir
Not a Caption … BA is full of them, Nutty, especially in the posh seats up front that we use!

[cynicalint]

Every time I press this button, he does that!

[Buster Hyman]

Premature reclination again honey?

[treadigraph]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/299x168/images_999328d3436312d593ac2214f01db9f97a9bb441.jpg

[treadigraph]

I don't see what's so funny. When the Captain turned down your request to visit the flight deck, all I said was that I wasn't surprised as I wouldn't want you in my cockpit...

[Kiltrash]

Darling, don't you thinks your taking this a bit far, from your days as a F-16 Pilot / Gemini Astronaut ??

[Kiltrash]

Lady behind laughing at the state of his obvious 'Barnet ' ...Anyone smell fish? She said. The man's travelling companion tried to stiffle her obvious embarrasment

[Kiltrash]

Doris realised, eventually, that Brown Cordoury was soo last year.

[Buster Hyman]

I love flying Aloha to Hawaii! It's like I can already see the Blue sky....wait.....

[NutLoose]

Satisfied as only a woman can be, I raise my fingers to my nose, that sweet scent only a woman knows drifts seductively across my nostrils .... Oh My Gawd!!!, he's off again..

[NutLoose]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/299x168/image_4b559b172f99e12375cc5df54bfb41168b4c5dcc.png

[NutLoose]

Hmm.. plastic strips that slide though an end loop and lock in place.... what a fascinating idea, I will call them tywraps and sell them to airlines to restrain rowdy passengers, I will make my fortune.

[NutLoose]

"Your tea's getting cold dear"... thinks, I would hate to waste the double dose of Bromide Iv'e put in it....

[Kiltrash]

Nutty, in his dreams prepares yet ANOTHER acceptance speach
or
Dreams of building an entire fleet of identical aircraft and passengers, for what diabolical reason has still to be determined

[Kiltrash]

NASA did say we might experience strange sensations and feelings as we approach the speed of light ... or ....Croydon...

[Kiltrash]

Doris did worry about her friend Dorothy when she returned from ' that ' clinic in Switzerland

[NutLoose]

Mavis did wonder if her husband had got the wrong end of the stick, when the three burly police officers with a passenger manifest boarded the aircraft at Gatwick following the mid air rumpus and shouted down the cabin, "Jack off. "

[NutLoose]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/299x168/image_6fc187b3e21a3297c2153da4c02966891176544e.png

[NutLoose]

Mavis always thought her husband was a creepy crawley type of person, but having been sprayed with insect killer on their Quantas flight, her suspicions were confirmed.