Caption Competition Mk III

[Confusious]

I just can't do this, really suffering with rudder and tail flutter.

[Confusious]

Oi Dastardly, what you up to over there with that Pitstop woman?

[Confusious]

Oh please don't worry about me, my very own flying vet has just been released from a psychiatrist evaluation at Austin State Hospital*.

*If you don't know who he is or what he's done altogether then Google him, an entertaining read about a very eccentric pilot.

[SASless]

Not only was it not the size of the dog in the fight....it was the size of the Fighter as well.

Or....He was a natural in a Dog Fight!

[Confusious]

My names Aviat, a Husky perfect for all this snow. Now, have I got the job or not?

[NutLoose]

Look like i will get a chance to chase the cat.a pult

[NutLoose]

Coldtitz glider? No, but my nuts are freezing this close to the snow..

[NutLoose]

That landing was a bit ruff.

[NutLoose]

Sick? No…. Wrong type of bag.

[Big Pistons Forever]

The human on back just won’t listen to me !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Dogs are reminded to make sure their humans are escorted off air side after the flight

[cynicalint]

New advanced remote flying system. The pilot's job is to feed the dog. The dog's job is to bite the pilot should they try to touch anything.

[cynicalint]

I'm not putting a bone-dome on, I'll look far to much like Boris!

[Ascend Charlie]

"Pheww! Thanks for opening the canopy, it smells like a wet dog in here."

[Kiltrash]

My blind master won a sponsored glider flight and of course I had to go with him 🐶

[Kiltrash]

Him?.no in case we crash he supplies the yellow snow

[Kiltrash]

That damm Top Cat just won't be looking for me up here...Geronimo. ...

[Confusious]

Golf Delta Oscar Golf Yankee - this is Rover Rover are you an Andover over Dover, over.

[Kiltrash]

Upon retirement Sharkey-Ward has let himself go....just a bit

[Kiltrash]

No that's OK Rex, we're not landing in the DPRK...

[Kiltrash]

Fifi la bonk likes a bit of ruff

[Kiltrash]

Instructor, Tersely ...and if the GPS fails just open the canopy and Rover will guide you home....THAT'S why there's a dog in the cockpit...for your first solo flight

[Chu Chu]

Robert L. Scott’s dyslexia was a closely held secret.

[ShyTorque]

“Oops sorry; thought you said it was the cock a leg pit.”

[ShyTorque]

“Whaddya mean “If it’s foggy for landing they set FIDO on fire?”

[cynicalint]

If I promise to come back when you call, will you promise to not make me fly in this!

[treadigraph]

In the reimagined BBC children's TV show Blue Petra, John Noakes' swashbucklind adventurer part was taken by Scruff who later proved unable to adhere to behavioural guidelines and keep his paws off Amber in the Val Singleton role...

[treadigraph]

Sorry Patch, it seems Schleicher never built a K-9 but we found you this old Blanik to fly instead....

[treadigraph]

Snoopy's great great great grandson was overheard muttering "they want me to fly this old crate? 'Kennel...."

[Hydromet]

My blind master won a sponsored glider flight and of course I had to go with him 🐶
..."and if he has to use his parachute, he knows the ground is close when my lead goes slack."

[Chu Chu]

. . . and everything was fine until he decided to hold the tow line in his mouth.

[Kiltrash]

Little known fact, Gp Cap Brown's pet also had some 250 types in his log book. Twin seater obviously ..

[Wensleydale]

"Catseyes" Cunningham had another reason for his nickname.

[Wensleydale]

"How was the landing?"

"Ruff".

[Kiltrash]

That bloody Black and White cat, Jess, keeps banging on how her master takes her everywhere on his round, ... i'll sort her at the next game on Top Trumps later...

[Kiltrash]

Normally when it's your pets birthday you may just give him a extra helping of food....but oh no not when your Elon Musk...and there's a photo oportunity to be had

[Kiltrash]

Shaggy lived up to his name, on the set of ' Scooby Doo solves a Mystery at 10000 foot ' the movie

[Kiltrash]

At Hurn airport as they scrapped the Aircraft, nosecones were sold off, repurposed as all weather kennels

[Confusious]

When I'm on heat my dumb owners always do this to me.

[Confusious]

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x803/612edc88_c47c_4810_9a75_2704ef11cd8f_7a8393b20fc7baa6cd1548e edb685b4a727429fe_f264f90a27036018e36e4f19bf7dd33fc4473d78.j peg

[Confusious]

Damn it, Red 1 has taken my lead again!

[Confusious]

Don't laugh, I'll have you know I'm an airport security dog...woof woof!

[andytug]

"Hoskins, that beard and moustache set is not regulation!"

[Buster Hyman]

All hell broke loose on that last dog leg!

[Buster Hyman]

I'm just happy that we landed that Bitch!

[Confusious]

Bring it on you lot, I'm well up for a dogfight.

[Buster Hyman]

"Excuse me!...Could I borrow your Pooper Scooper?"

[Buster Hyman]

I'm here for the Reindeer auditions...

[Buster Hyman]

Luckily for everyone, Harrison Fords Dog took over control...

[Kiltrash]

So when you got dressed you could not find your dog tags, and brought your pet instead

[treadigraph]

He's a simple variometer. In lift he pants, in sink he whines, if the tow breaks, he :mad: himself.

[Chu Chu]

You said I could launch this with a birddog, but so far it’s not even light on the wheels.

[Chu Chu]

He’s never happy unless he has a stick in his mouth.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Grooming standards in this day and age Air Force were not they once were.

[Confusious]

Don't close the canopy, he's got the collie wobbles again.

[NutLoose]

He's my guide dog, if he thinks we are not lined up he starts humping a leg to get me to put in more rudder.

[NutLoose]

He is my audible warning system, if he see's an obstruction ahead he says "Walls"... He also incidentally says "sausages", but I haven't figured that one out yet...

[Confusious]

Welcome to Inclusive Airlines, I'm Butch your Captain.

[Buster Hyman]

At least he waited for the Seatbelt sign to go off!

[Kiltrash]

Woof woof woof itsy woof...
roughly translated as...
I don't think we're quite on the ground skip. The fluffy white clouds seem to be below us....
That's alright Patch, 'cause we're in Australia ..

[Kiltrash]

Boy that was one hell of a hail storm we flew through. Still it did £100000 worth of improvements in Croydon ..

[Kiltrash]

The RSPCA initially thought this was stressing the dog out, untill they found out it was Nova, Rishi's Labrador and it was a lot less stressful than living in the same building as Larry

[Buster Hyman]

Okay, next time, pack the Cocaine a little more securely.

[NIREP reader]

Ex-RAF fighter Pilot training Chinese students wears a disguise after a media breaking news story.

[Confusious]

Ahh, now I get it, they must have named me after The Little Stinker.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x400/1666966726_cede8e417fb0cae43bd43642317a4f99bed46154.jpeg

Life rapidly went down hill for Tukker, after the AA dropped him from their advertising campaign.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x803/612edc88_c47c_4810_9a75_2704ef11cd8f_7a8393b20fc7baa6cd1548e edb685b4a727429fe_f264f90a27036018e36e4f19bf7dd33fc4473d78_j peg_9bb3d51576186397ed4d18c1c0fb1829ff7df7a8.jpg

[sealo0]

Hi All

last orders will be calling at approx 6 pm too many good captions going to be ruff.

Mike

[Confusious]

Where's Buster? Oh, he's over there laughing at Nutty trying to clear the runway with a shovel.

[Buster Hyman]

Too close for missiles, switching to leg humps!

[Buster Hyman]

Fine! Walk away then. I’ll lick my own balls! Bluddy FO’s….

[NutLoose]

Buster, are you not going to put up a caption? :p




EDIT...Holy poo, this is my 25,000 post

[Confusious]

Hey, if I take a dump right here, would I then be a cockapoo?

[treadigraph]

Hah! The CFI is giving my human a good talking to. That'll teach him to loop my lead round the air brakes lever! Amazing the way the boundary hedge removed all the paint...

[sealo0]

OK so here goes: Many thanks for everyone captions gave me a good laugh.
First is Chu Chu
. . . and everything was fine until he decided to hold the tow line in his mouth.
Second
Don't laugh, I'll have you know I'm an airport security dog...woof woof!
Treadigraph allmost under the wire.
Hah! The CFI is giving my human a good talking to. That'll teach him to loop my lead round the air brakes lever! Amazing the way the boundary hedge removed all the paint...

So Over to You Chu Chu

Mike

[NutLoose]

Congratulations to Chu Chu and welcome to the competition Mike, good picture :ok:

[Chu Chu]

Thank you very much, Mike!

I had the famous shot of Patton augmenting the Rhine teed up, but I chickened out at the last minute. So give this one our worst:

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x506/umbrella_tank2_80673397b42e270ecf1fbad9d542ae38ac9fb10d.jpg

[sealo0]

I’ll go for

umbrella’s at dawn

or seeing where I live

“trip to the seaside, Bank Holiday Monday”

[Hydromet]

"We were ordered to protect ourselves from celebratory shots fired in the air."

[Buster Hyman]

Bill & Ben join the Tank Regiment.

[Buster Hyman]

"So, when we know an IR Missile is inbound, we just light the rag and voila! Another Belorussian tank is saved!"

[Buster Hyman]

"...and you drove here on Sealed roads like I asked you?"
"Yes Sir!"

[Buster Hyman]

Boy, that was a high tide on the Rhine!

[Buster Hyman]

EDIT...Holy poo, this is my 25,000 post
Careful! You do know not to quote Aunt Mary's lottery numbers don't you! :=:8

[cynicalint]

Well, the boss did say that he could grow potatoes in the dirt around the gun-well!

[cynicalint]

Apparently, this new gun has a knockout punch, so we have to train with the boxing glove fitted.

[cynicalint]

I realised as soon as they issued us with these sun parasols, we were certainly not going anywhere warm and dry!

[treadigraph]

Mary Poppins and her sister go to war...

[treadigraph]

I thought top cover meant... well, you know, airplanes...

[treadigraph]

We must look a right pair of Panzers with these brollies...

[Buster Hyman]

Oh crap! Quick, turn around! This is one of those decoy Balloon tanks!!!

[SASless]

The Driver was quite chuffed by his choice of camo materials taken from the local flora.

[Ascend Charlie]

"So, Dmitri, do you think that silencer will stop the Ukrainians hearing the gun go off?"
"Da, Boris, same as the umbrellas will deflect those little bombs from the drones. We couldn't be safer..."

[treadigraph]

Oberschleissheim in Bloom, 1942. As with the Chelsea Flower Show, inclement weather was often a curse..

[Ascend Charlie]

"Isn't a surrender flag meant to be white?"
"Da, but not many people make white umbrellas, and anyway, this isn't a colour photo!"

[Buster Hyman]

Most of us put Red stars on the side of the tank to reflect a victory, but I wasn't sure about this one, so I just used Svetlanas underpants.

[Kiltrash]

No no, remember in England you drive on the left....however well done discussing the weather, you should fit in well as a spy

[Kiltrash]

Your not taking this war seriously, are you Lt Gruber??

[Kiltrash]

Unused portion of film from 'Kellys Hero's' as Donald Sutherland protects his hair on the way to the bank,.... to make a withdrawal

[Kiltrash]

Treadigraph on his trip to the Whitgift Centre....well you can never have too much protection

[Kiltrash]

When you said you would pick me up in a Rear engined All wheel drive and steer Open top coupe, I thought of a expensive sports car , .... said Nutty's date

[Wensleydale]

Hitler's Winter Offensive in December 1944: "Wacht am Rain".

[Wensleydale]

"You 'oribble Shower!!"

[Confusious]

All terrain amphibious what? You plonker Rodney, sacre blue!

[Wensleydale]

Donner und Blitzkrieg.

[fitliker]

No , no , no I said no Tourette’s syndrome, not no turrets , dumbkoff !

[fitliker]

That dumbkoff said to watch out for horrible little men and their Wombats , what kind of man would keep a wombat as a pet ?

[Wensleydale]

I forgot my PaKamac.

[ShyTorque]

“Hey, Gene! If we survive this war and you can still sing and dance I’ve just thought of a great idea for a musical..it won’t include the tank, though!”

[Confusious]

Fans on their way to the Liverpool Everton derby came well prepared for the up norf weather.

[Confusious]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x506/umbrella_tank2_80673397b42e270ecf1fbad9d542ae38ac9fb10d_b021 622660e8b6c83ae88f3e6e402368830b9615.jpg

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Interviewed after the war, Sqn Ldr "Pointy" Bassington-Smyth recalled that his Typhoon tank-busting missions always brought the greatest sport on rainy days. "We would often catch them completely by surprise. It was like for some reason, they could never see us coming"

[Buster Hyman]

"Whoa! All stop. Looks like an ambush!"
"What makes you say that?"
"All the Ukranian tractors lined up over there."

[fitliker]

Hanging tomato plants on the front of your ride is a dumbkoff idea , wombats love tomatoes 🍅 and have been known to go through 16 inches of armour to make tomato stew or something that resembles tomato stew .

[Confusious]

I yelled "up persiscopes" then up popped a 'pair o' dopes'.

[treadigraph]

The Major takes The Clangers to war

[Confusious]

This was the day that Hoskins and his best chum were told to go undercover.

[MPN11]

“i hope this barrel condom doesn’t mean we only fire blanks”

[Kiltrash]

Obviously not a column of Italian Tanks. The commanders only looking forward

[Kiltrash]

Dalek, the early version

[Kiltrash]

In a cunning plan, Captain Mainwaring takes up Jones plan so feed the local seagulls copious amount of **** inducing seed laced with caster oil....
Pvt Walker sees it as a chance to sell the German tank commanders Black Market umbrellas

[treadigraph]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x506/umbrella_tank2_80673397b42e270ecf1fbad9d542ae38ac9fb10d_b021 622660e8b6c83ae88f3e6e402368830b9615.jpg

[cynicalint]

We are not part of an Ambush, more of a bacon tree!

[Confusious]

I just thought of a great caption, but I couldn't post it as it would have gone over your heads.
------
I'll get my coat. :E

[Confusious]

This ain't gonna work, the last time I had a bad case of clematis the doc told me no amount of water would get rid of it.

[Confusious]

Look, if the RAF can do in-flight refuelling then so can we. Hook her up soldier!

[Big Pistons Forever]

Are you sure these umbrellas will protect us from Ukrainian drones ?

[Big Pistons Forever]

Russian Commander:

What on earth are you guys doing ?

Tank Crew

Putin on the Ritz....

[Kiltrash]

Ze British would not be zilly enough to invade Europe in zis veather. .. ( Normandy 06.06.44

[treadigraph]

At zis rate we won't have any dry towels left to leave on zer sunloungers....

[Kiltrash]

Men of a certain age taking their hobby for a spin in the country one sunny Sunday afternoon. The ' boy racers ' also picked the same time to drive through the village of Bovingdon. .and we can guess who came off the worse

[Kiltrash]

Following the demise of the Fiesta enthusiasts take their protest to Ford HQ in Germany .... enlist the help of their friends in Lada. ... well it is known as a real tank....

[Wensleydale]

The German film industry produces the film: "Gene Kelly's Heroes".

[Dan Gerous]

"Oleg, why are we going into battle with this captured stuff from WWII"?
"It's simple Yuri, they can't blow the turrets off these"!

[sealo0]

Hoskinski where did you get these bright shiney examples of our modern engineering from?

From store just up the road, if was a btgof deal, Sir.

Btgof deal?

Yes Sir, buy two get one free, but I choose this model, we also got two free umbrellas as well.

[sealo0]

Hoskinski where did you get these bright shiney examples of our modern engraining from?

From store just up the road, Sir.

Why do we have these two behind us?

The second one has the spanners to fix this one!

And the third?

That’s for our clothes unfortunately I could only get White Long Johns, still might need those, enough for the whole crew!

[sealo0]

Hoskinski where did you get these bright shiney examples of our modern engraining from?

From store just up the road, Sir.

How much?

I bartered 10 washing m/cs, Sir



10 !! That’s my Pension.

[Buster Hyman]

"Oi! Why are you two sitting up there in the rain?"
"Err, we can't fit through the turret opening Sarge"
"Battle of the Bulge eh?"

[Wensleydale]

"Oil Protesters in the road? What Oil Protesters?"

[Chu Chu]

I'll call this one tonight (probably midnight British time, if I've got the "fall back" thing figured out right). So if you've been keeping your powder dry . . .

[Confusious]

Where's Harry and Megan? They're in the Range Rover behind and stop whinging as they're paying for their own security with profits from a book.

[treadigraph]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x506/umbrella_tank2_80673397b42e270ecf1fbad9d542ae38ac9fb10d_b021 622660e8b6c83ae88f3e6e402368830b9615.jpg

[treadigraph]

Vy are you driving down zer middle of zer road?

Becuz I am zer Liberal! Anyvay, you sink anyvun else iss going to object?

[treadigraph]

Zer vheels on zer tank go clank clank clank...

[SASless]

Typical Huns.....no concept of the proper use of a Brolly in warfare!

[Kiltrash]

Sarge, why are there no lovely young nubile French girls to welcome us as we the roll triumphantly through Nouvion???
Cause we're in Dortmund dumkoph, i
knew it was a mistake to cross service the navigator from the Air Force.

[fitliker]

The German hunters were disqualified from the annual Haggis Hunt after they were found to have baited their guns with apples , they might allow that sort of thing for the Womble Hunt in Wimbledon Green , but we are not going to allow that nonsense north of Greta Green a spokesperson for the Highland Haggis Hunters Hassociation was quoted as saying to the local media . These German Hunters are masters at baiting , but we had no choice but to toss them off this years Hunt for unsportsmanlike conduct . Next years Hunt may limited to guns under 100 mm both in width , length and girth . No small furry game should have to endure the ballistic pressure from such a large weapon . After all this is 2022 not 1942 .

[cynicalint]

The umbrellas are used to regulate the amount of water falling into the tank so the fish that are driving it stay happy.

[Confusious]

Don't care if it's still raining, we're staying up here until you stop blowing off fowl gases.

[Kiltrash]

Nope, I don't think this picture will get in the short list for the BBC Country file Calendar 2023...Mr Taylor

[Chu Chu]

A lot of great entries on this one. I could have listed ten runners up as easily as three, but I've cut them down to these, in no particular order:

Treadigraph -- We must look a right pair of Panzers with these brollies...

Wensleydale -- Hitler's Winter Offensive in December 1944: "Wacht am Rain"

Dan Gerous -- "Oleg, why are we going into battle with this captured stuff from WWII"?
"It's simple Yuri, they can't blow the turrets off these"!

First place goes to the one that made me laugh the most, and I'm a sucker for goofy puns. So Confusious takes it with:

I yelled "up persiscopes" then up popped a 'pair o' dopes'.

The trophy will be on its way as soon as the weather breaks.

[Confusious]

Ta Chu Chu.
Here we go again folks.
https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/634x398/article_2009603_0cc9b01000000578_144_634x418_fea652b5cd5c8c3 08bf70c2bbc4a39d671eb2957.jpg

[treadigraph]

Is that a bottle of Rat Trap?

[Buster Hyman]

Wait! It’s zero alcohol! I’m not stupid enough to pick that up!

[Ascend Charlie]

"I've heard of a Jock Strap, but what is a Moww Strap?" (SNAP!!) "MMM Owwwwww!"

[treadigraph]

Fools go Russian in where angels fear to tread...

[NutLoose]

Hmmm Bud light in a warzone, ironic, as there is no f*cking nor are we close to water...

[Buster Hyman]

Well, I couldn’t find a washing machine so this’ll do…

[NutLoose]

Ahh Tabasco sauce, I am told this stuff has a bite to it.

[Buster Hyman]

Well, I’m here in Tobruk and I still have no idea how they got their nickname…

[fitliker]

I always wonder if I am about to pass the stupid test with flaying colours or fail the intelligence test again ?

[ShyTorque]

I'll neck this in one!

[NutLoose]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/634x398/article_2009603_0cc9b01000000578_144_634x418_fea652b5cd5c8c3 08bf70c2bbc4a39d671eb2957_9dd01a5c521577c32812a0153474ebb0d3 f7e356.jpg

[NutLoose]

I'll soon snap the top off this one.

[Chu Chu]

If I had more bottle, I’d pick that up.

[Chu Chu]

Impressive, Hoskins. But I said we needed to build a better mousetrap.

[Chu Chu]

Could explain our strategy again?

It’s simple. First, we let the enemy corps penetrate deep into our territory. Then, we spring the trap.

[Kiltrash]

Honey, I shrunk ( your ) privates

[Kiltrash]

Wow, normally in Scotland the locals guard their valuables with barbed wire...

[Kiltrash]

Meghan gets ready to trap her Prince

[AR1]

PPRUNE are currently hosting the longest running caption competition in history...

[cynicalint]

Normal mouse trap and size of a GI once all the wind and p1ss have been removed...

[treadigraph]

Baldrick, my unerring intellect had identified a small but fatal flaw in your cunning plan... what don't our opponents do?

Eat pork Catain Blackadder, Sir...

And apart from pork, Balders?

Oh... bother!

[MPN11]

Hey, it’s 31 Ocober … a bit soon to say “Spring in the air”.

[cynicalint]

Get me a beer soldier, and make it snappy!

[Wensleydale]

"A night off duty - lets go and get rat ars*d".

[Wensleydale]

The Germans are armed with Mausers!

[Chu Chu]

I thought I could figure this out, but it’s too tricky.

That’s okay. The beer is probably warm anyway.

[cavuman1]

You should see the size of the cat!

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

So according to Pvt Einstein, I can take the bottle. remove the top, drink the beer, Burp and put it back on the trip plate before it moves...
SNAP !! **** it .. now where is he...

[Kiltrash]

I thought in this country they did not do ' Trick or Treeting///

[Kiltrash]

Despite knowing he was in a ' Dry ' Country, Bud still fell for the old trick

[SASless]

A twist to the old jingle....."This is for you, Bud!"

[Big Pistons Forever]

Part 1 of the Bomb Squad selection process

[cynicalint]

Washington demonstrates a captured item developed by Putin to counter-act the genetically modified mice that NATO is about to release in Crimea.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

No, you don't have to design something stealthy and high tech. Keep it simple, and let stupidity do the rest.

[Chu Chu]

. . . and when the slugs smell beer, they will crawl into the bottle and drown.

But what's the rest of it for?

What do you think would happen if I just put a bottle of beer down in the middle of camp and walked away?

[Big Pistons Forever]

When somebody says I double dare you with a cherry on top, maybe you should re-think accepting the challenge…..

[fdr]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/634x398/article_2009603_0cc9b01000000578_144_634x418_fea652b5cd5c8c3 08bf70c2bbc4a39d671eb2957_9dd01a5c521577c32812a0153474ebb0d3 f7e356.jpg


Stop loss took on some more inventive measures...

[Kiltrash]

If Carlsberg* did mouse traps, they would be the best mouse traps in the world

* Other crap watered down alcoholic beverage are available

[Kiltrash]

No Pvt Bond, i expect you to die...

[Kiltrash]

No wait, Hank, I have a attatchment in my Swiss Army knife to safely remove that...

[NutLoose]

Ohh a ****z beer... I bet it will have that effect too.

[NutLoose]

From Captain to Captive in one easy lesson.

[Kiltrash]

Hey wait, got a great idea for a movie....think I will call it ' Borrowers '... or ' Gremlins' , when things just go missing

[Kiltrash]

Coyote gets all excited when the latest Roadrunner trap arrives from ACME. Thinks he will just try it first himself. I mean what could possibly go wro......

[Kiltrash]

Matt wonders just why he gets voted to tackle all the worst Bush Tucker trials....

[cavuman1]

Reverse-engineering the beer trebuchet was more problematic than originally thought.

- Ed

[Chu Chu]

You've heard of a Singapore sling?

[NutLoose]

Snap to it lad, we haven't got all day.

[ShyTorque]

Well I don’t believe that just one bottle can give you a headache - watch!

[Wensleydale]

Selection begins for the exchange tour with BAOR at Hamelin.

[Confusious]

Last orders ladies and gentlemen.
Results in at about 18:00 UTC Wednesday.

[Kiltrash]

Nothing was gonna stop Paddy Mayne getting a beer. The trap later regretted operating as designed

[Kiltrash]

Watch out for the Elephant in the room ..

[Kiltrash]

...and finally from me...
Carefull sir, i think it's booby trapped
ok.. better get Hoskins, he's tea total

[Chu Chu]

Classic British Mystery Night was actually a good idea, Hoskins. But next time, read the script before you build the set.

[NutLoose]

Ohh a beer, i'll just crack it open.

[NutLoose]

Ooohh draught in a bottle, I do hope it produces a good head.

[NutLoose]

Oooohhh a Heineken, that Refreshes the Parts Other Beers Cannot Reach.

[NutLoose]

My favourite beer, it gives me that satisfying feeling at the back of my throat

[SASless]

Become paralytic with a single bottle of beer!

[Wensleydale]

Why is it that every time I drink a beer from here, I wake up with a bad headache?

[Chu Chu]

If there’s no there’s still no improvement a month from now, we’ll have to conclude that aversion therapy has failed.

[Confusious]

Here we go, results are in. And in a particular order (unlike how strictly announce it).

Winner
Part 1 of the Bomb Squad selection process

Second
Matt wonders just why he gets voted to tackle all the worst Bush Tucker trials....

Third
Well I don’t believe that just one bottle can give you a headache - watch!

Congratulations Big Pistons Forever, trophy on its way to you along with this can of Mouse Trap, in fact you all deserve a can, so cheers all!
https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1000x974/mousetrap440mlcanmockuppng_4a7cd67dde755635a5772f8c249be1a59 dc1a3a3.png

[Big Pistons Forever]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x400/1667434906_3d5c31f04fd160823e40343a768fcd45cee135f5.jpeg

Thanks Confusious

WARNING
Aviation content ;)

Being a computer luddite I would appreciate if somebody could resize this for me

[treadigraph]

Here ya go...
https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1280x850/chrome_image_3_nov_2022_03_40_54_gmt_a2c4933df4d94a64f56274b e54c306a4ca112083.png

[treadigraph]

Now I know why the instructions said not to fly it in rain...

[Ascend Charlie]

( Not a caption: That rego and the water drops on the tail seem to be the sound of somebody blowing a raspberry.)

"OK, I'm holding it back on the reins...whoa, boy... and it REALLY feels like it wants to go. Why won't it go?"

[NutLoose]

When I said resize it, I was hoping for a Piper Cherokee..

[NutLoose]

Ohh look, a used French.Prop hylactic

[sealo0]

I never could read those DIY instructions

[Wensleydale]

In order to achieve Carbon Neutral by 2040, the RAF's Transport Fleet is reconfigured.

[treadigraph]

When I told my wife I wanted to build an aeroplane, she rolled her eyes and called me an action man. So I bought an action man sized aeroplane...

[Kiltrash]

Only emissions from this aircraft are from the pilot, when at 500 ft alt in a 1000 fpm dive...

[Kiltrash]

Twin seater? ?? No way do my friends want to be seen dead in this

[Kiltrash]

As the UK's EV charging network improves, think I would prefer a Tesla*...
* other longer range options are available

[Kiltrash]

Radio call sign...Goldfish 1

[Kiltrash]

What can't be seen are the Pilots legs operating the bicycle dynamo..

[Kiltrash]

Retractable undercarriage to reduce drag??
Oh no dear boy, that's the only thing to prevent it hitting the ground..

[Kiltrash]

Now all I need us a severe lightning storm and a long trailing copper wire....then you will see me hitting 88 MPH... ( as 141.622 kph does not have the same comic ring to it )

[sealo0]

Honey does my bum look big in this?

[treadigraph]

Battery? It's plugged into my pacemaker...

[Confusious]

As Captain Fin was taxiing out for the very first test flight he could hear loud chants from the viewing gallery of "come on fin, cone in fin, come on fin".

[NutLoose]

I wasn't grey before I started taxying this out.

[treadigraph]

It's rather like a Swiss Army Knife, you can fly in it, trim yer beard, cut the lawn, prune the roses, it'll even make a nice cup of tea...

[Chu Chu]

Early trials of the passive solar concept proved disappointing.

[Confusious]

Captain Duhal was told that he couldn't wear his beloved Dave Clarke headset due to exceeding the max take off weight.

[MPN11]

If Boeing's aircraft laid eggs ....

[Confusious]

Well, if it's not a joke why was Leslie Nielsen chosen to test fly it?

[Confusious]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1280x850/chrome_image_3_nov_2022_03_40_54_gmt_a2c4933df4d94a64f56274b e54c306a4ca112083_6e2970ebc40a9dfb8ea9c664bbdfebb7616a5168.p ng

[treadigraph]

You thought flying through a hangar was impressive! I'm going to fly this through a C-5's hold!

and speaking of C-5s...

Sir Clive repurposes those old Sinclair C-5s...

[Confusious]

At last they've found a use for it. The model aircraft club members can use it as a tug to launch their gliders.

[ShyTorque]

Obviously, we only need the elastic band for takeoff.

[Kiltrash]

Stealthy? Is it Stealthy?? ...Dear boy this has the radar cross section of a hummingbird....
Err ... but it's smaller than a hummingbird sir ..

[Kiltrash]

SAAB* designed of course
* other automotive vehicle manufacturers with a fresh new radical design are available

[Kiltrash]

Range?? Well it 'should ' be enough to get aross the River in Paris, ..or i"ll be Insane

[sealo0]

Other alternatives are available

[Confusious]

Pierre thought that the men in white coats were engineers, but they were there to make sure he got 'certified'.

[treadigraph]

You don't need a twin rating to fly it, just a fuse rating...