Caption Competition Mk III

[SASless]

The Tug Driver thought it was going to be easier to push the aircraft to the hanger rather than towing it.

[treadigraph]

Per ardua ad astra...

I doubt the CO will see it that way, Sir...

[Chu Chu]

I told you we should install MCAS.

[Tashengurt]

The trolley service went downhill from there!

[NutLoose]

Bloody hell that APU kicks out some thrust.

[NutLoose]

It wants a belly rub..

[Ninthace]

Last orders please, ladies and gents. Last Orders!

My entry would have been:
"That's something you don't often see when you are lining up!"
"What's that skipper?"
"Orion's belt!"

Judging soon

[Ninthace]

The CST jury gave Honourable Mentions to:
NutLoose: I say Jones, shimmy up that houchin cable and unplug it, there’s a good chap.
Kiltrash: Told you the RB211 was just too heavy, but no you had to try just one more
cattletruck: Fortunately our captain came from DC3s and doesn't foresee any problem with proceeding for departure.
treadigraph: Per ardua ad astra... I doubt the CO will see it that way, Sir..
Tashengurt: The trolley service went downhill from there!

But the wnner sld in under the wire with
NutLoose Bloody hell that APU kicks out some thrust.

Well done sir or however you self identify. The CST will be on its way as soon as we get it down from there.

[Kiltrash]

Caption waiting for picture.

Despite saying he could not be bothered watching football, Nutloose has a long lie in...

( With sympathy but Rashford, Sancho and Saka do not deserve the vile abuse I understand was levelled at them on Social Media...)

[Ninthace]

Caption waiting for picture.

Despite saying he could not be bothered watching football, Nutloose has a long lie in...

( With sympathy but Rashford, Sancho and Saka do not deserve the vile abuse I understand was levelled at them on Social Media...)
I PM ‘d him while the footie was on. Probably sleeping it off.

[treadigraph]

The Metropolitan Police are looking for 11 Italian citizens, wanted in connection with the theft of silverware from a sporting facility at Wembley in North East London.

[NutLoose]

I do thank you and hope the wait was worth it :) I also bear a gift of pictures of the stored VC10 at abingdon in the link below, a link that todays picture comes from, so without any further delay, on with the competition.
https://www.globalaviationresource.com/v2/2014/12/23/aviation-feature-raf-abingdon-1983-1985/

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x683/egud19830910_a42_10a_24b951fda720628970910339bdb4037378bdff6 2.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

Well we've lightened it as much as we could, but it's still going to need the curvature of the Earth to take off.

[Dan Gerous]

You know, if we were to make this out of foam, we could sell them as 3D jigsaws.

[Ninthace]

Not a caption

Most of my time in VC10s was spent sitting facing aft including a flapless landing into Akrotiri just after the invasion, which was a bit sporty and very noisy. I did get a ride in the RAE VC10 which was spent stooging around the North Sea in very nose high attitudes with the bit that kept it from falling off the thrust switched off or turned down or some such.


Caption


It says here locate but do not cement Tab A into Slot B. Where the heck is Tab A?

[Ninthace]

Meccano boy has a wet dream.

[Ninthace]

Oh, hang on chaps, it was in my pocket all along, you can stop the lose article check now.

Or

The hunt for the SEngO’s contact lens continues.

[treadigraph]

Richard Noble's original attempt to build a Mach 1 car had a teensy little flaw...

[treadigraph]

These bloody Airfix kits are getting so bloody big now...

[treadigraph]

Tomkinson's next project in his school metalwork class merited a clip round the ear from the teacher...

[Dan Gerous]

..and with this mod, we're hoping to turn it into a bi-plane.

[Ninthace]

Now we have got the wing off I can see the problem. The dihedral is the wrong way up. Turn it over and put it back, it will fly better.

[andytug]

"Correct Hoskins....you will indeed need the box of 'extra' bits that were left over from the last time you put this one back together - try including them this time!"

[KiloB]

I told you that buying aircraft from Ikea was a bad idea!

[Wensleydale]

The latest Transformers movie features an aeroplane that turns into a Kitten.

[treadigraph]

We get a magazine delivered every week with another part... Every pilot on the squadron gets their own copy.

[Chu Chu]

And we put this sign on the wall last week, after Hoskins tried to install the wing from an F-4.

[Kiltrash]

Well it was all right till we got her up to 88 MPH...

( those who have been following would have expected a M1.6 comment )

[cattletruck]

We still haven't found where that squeak is coming from.

[Kiltrash]

Normally ' Transformer ' turns into something exciting

[SASless]

Mach 1.6 the Boss said it had to go.....it has to have the aerodynamics of a streamlined Anvil for that to happen.

Oh wait....we got that part done!

[NutLoose]

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x683/image_8dcf819bd12e9344325ef6996a8f3936a40379a1.png

[Ninthace]

Its from Global Aviation because there are bits all over the place.

[Ninthace]

Last time we hangar it at Speke. The flaming wheels are gone but even the Scousers didn't want the rest of it.

[Kiltrash]

What do you mean? The Government have cancelled the project? Look tell them it's flight ready (almost) and will be at this years Cosford Air Show

[Kiltrash]

Ah Guisseppi look it was the only the English wheels that have come off. ..
(yes I know it was a Anglo French Project but never let the facts get in the way of a Caption.)

[Kiltrash]

You want it ready when? Yes i know the contract did say by the end of the month, look i'll have to give the lads 3 Weetabix each day....
(other breakfast cereals are available, but they are currently not in a builders advert)

[Kiltrash]

What do you mean the problem was on YB...
Damm clerk.

[SASless]

I told you I left my 10mm spanner at the house this morning....did you not hear me?

[Kiltrash]

You want " The Plane that saved Britain?" Sorry mate think you need to look up about 4 threads...

[Kiltrash]

Left Hand....Well I was dismantling it,..
Right hand .... Well I was assembling it...
Officer passing by... Good work lads, keep it up...

[Kiltrash]

Leading aircraftsman to the Work Experience lad.... Of heck, Dammit, can you popup to stores and ask for a ' Very Long Wait '
or
Dammit, they have changed their minds again, they want it repainted.....Pop up to stores and ask for a tin of Tartan Paint.

[Dan Gerous]

Those scamps at 17 Sqn eh. Nicked one of ours and replaced it with one of theirs and thought we wouldn't notice.

[Ascend Charlie]

"Gesundheit..."

[Tashengurt]

"Did all this after an annoying whine was reported in the cockpit; Then found it had moved to the crewroom!"

[Kiltrash]

Yep almost done converting it from a fixed wing to rotary wing....should make it go faster,
or
Delivery of Go Faster Stripes, where do you want them??

[Kiltrash]

Man in red anorak ( what else ) ...adenoids voice...no no no it was defiantly a 6 mm castellated nut and split pin on the mod 4 rev 3. That was implimented after the experience in Op Granby. ..

[Kiltrash]

On his last day with the RAF before retirement Hoskins let loose with a large box of " Remove Before Flight " flags. The results were totally predictable..

[Kiltrash]

On a visit to Coltishall, Buster is more than happy to show just how many Nut (s) were found to be a bit Loose,

[Kiltrash]

Actually it was all assembled and ready to roll then a Paratrooper fell through the roof...

[SLXOwft]

Man in green anorak to man in red anorak, 'We've found the grace and the space but I'm bruggered if I know where the pace is."

[Buster Hyman]

Are you sure these were the plans for the 2022 McLaren?

[Buster Hyman]

Okay, so we've nailed the weight reduction requirements, now what?

[Buster Hyman]

I swear. All I did was press the 'Up' button on the hoist!

[622]

No Chief....can't finish the next bit until we get issue 788 of 'Jaguar...build it weekly!"

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

It began as a "nuts and bolts" restoration. About now is where the money ran out.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Well you see sir, Hoskins here has mixed up the paperwork, so we're not sure if we're pulling this one apart, or putting it back together.

[Ninthace]

SEngO: When I said to move Bravo Yankee to the other side of the hangar. I did not mean one bit at a time!
JEngO: But we can't find the towing arm, sir.

[Chu Chu]

Finding that the reassembly procedures are written in French, Hoskins decides to wing it.

[Chu Chu]

Looks like we're gonna need some taller jacks.

[Chu Chu]

Now we just fill in the gap, and we'll have room for an Upkeep under each wing.

[Kiltrash]

... and here today in 'The Repair Shop ' we appear to have a particularly challenging project, brought in be Lcr Sharky - Ward.
or
...and today on 'Money from Nothing ' Claire has picked up from the scrap yard what appears at first sight to be a load of cr@p. Lets see what useful item she can make of it...and sell to a gullible person....on ebay

(Other auction sites are available )

[Kiltrash]

... this one?, well its going onto a plinth and will be used as a gate guard, In Toxteth...

[Kiltrash]

Normally we arrogantly use this for the SEngO to embarrass the apprentices, but in this occasion we will need the suggestion box.

[Ninthace]

and today on 'Money from Nothing ' Claire has picked up from the scrap yard what appears at first sight to be a load of cr@p. Lets see what useful item she can make of it...and sell to a gullible person....on ebay

Not a caption
A lamp - it's always a soddin' lamp.

[treadigraph]

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x683/image_8dcf819bd12e9344325ef6996a8f3936a40379a1.png

[treadigraph]

I've been wielding my span-ner
On the Wing Co's Jaguar
When he finds out he'll do his nut
And kick me hard right in the butt

[fitliker]

The first time they put together they were left with two bolts , so they took it apart and put together again and they had three bolts left over .
Only the cunning artificer laughing in the corner knows where the mystery prank bolts came from :)

[MPN11]

Flash
from 17 sqn
to airfix.
Send more glue.

[Kiltrash]

Michael Caine voice...
" Your only supposed to blow the bl@@dy doors off "

[Kiltrash]

James May voice

" I've taxed worse "

[Kiltrash]

Don't think this one will make the Bastille Day flypast Pierre. Off to the Gallows for a date with Madame Guillotine. ..

[Dan Gerous]

It's a BY word for Anglo French relations these days

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x683/image_8dcf819bd12e9344325ef6996a8f3936a40379a1.png

[Kiltrash]

Knew it was a mistake doing a RAF recruitment week at the end of the Open Golf Practice Range.

[cavuman1]

If there were aircraft Strip Joints....

- Ed

[NutLoose]

Last orders… scoring on the morrow :)

[Ninthace]

Last orders… scoring on the morrow :)
Not a caption
Matthew 7 verses 1-2

[Kiltrash]

Them damm flying ants will eat anything.

[Kiltrash]

Would you fly a aircraft made by Peugeot ?

[Kiltrash]

Well we were made a offer we could not refuse for the valuable bits.....The Pilots been left on the shelf over there.

[Wensleydale]

Christmas Tree or Kinder Egg?

[Kiltrash]

We have been ordered to cease making these planes, in case they are mistaken for real warplanes.

[Kiltrash]

Why on earth did we allow 10 CC to name this aircraft " Mandy "

( other pop groups are available )

[Kiltrash]

...and finally..
Well sir the flack on New Years Day over Croydon was fairly intense this year.

[622]

Right James May...... Re-assemble that!

[NutLoose]

Runners up are wenslydale for

The latest Transformers movie features an aeroplane that turns into a Kitten.

Chu Chu for

Looks like we're gonna need some taller jacks.

Kiltrash with

Normally ' Transformer ' turns into something exciting

But today there are two winners, both from Dan Gerous with

..and with this mod, we're hoping to turn it into a bi-plane.

And

You know, if we were to make this out of foam, we could sell them as 3D jigsaws.

Over to you Dan.... CST being reassembled as we speak..

[Kiltrash]

...and finally finally ... Damm recoil, please ask them to reduce the fire power..

Well done Dan

[Dan Gerous]

Thanks Nutloose. With the sunny warm weather we're (allegedly) getting over the weekend, here's a nice cool maritime themed pic for everyone to dip their toes into.

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x539/landing_craft_9b89222e26f56b6acdc64ff0635f328d95c3a130.jpg

[Ascend Charlie]

With a good haul from that UK landing ship, the Somali pirates head back to base.

[Kiltrash]

... and afterwards we photoshop in the Big Yellow Banana and the Paraglider...
Oh and replace Sgt Hoskins with a scantily clad female.
There the next advert for Ibiza aimed at the Geordie.

[Kiltrash]

Here we present the QNLZCSG support craft... yes all of them, Do you think money grows on trees?

[Kiltrash]

Yes these new all Electric assault boats are great, the enemy cant hear us coming. so long as they are no further than 100 yards away...

[cynicalint]

On the NATO maritime exercise, Hoskins finally persuaded the Pole to put on his lifejacket.

[NutLoose]

Look cool and don’t make a fuss about the Somali grandmothers knitting needle sticking out of my chest.

[NutLoose]

Damn, the bloody patio heaters gone out again.

[Kiltrash]

In the Norfolk Broads, the authorities get strict with boaters who exceed the 4 knot limit, However in court the case is thrown out as the speeding patrol boat was not showing the Blue Light.

[Kiltrash]

He'll never sell ice creams at that speed.

[Chu Chu]

Figures. As soon as they issue me river camouflage, they send me out on the ocean.

[Kiltrash]

Well I never did think the TV Weather Girl would agree to do the link from the Serpentine,

[Penny Washers]

The weight of all those flotation devices might make the boat sink.

Never mind, - all you have to do is to pull the ripcord.

Now which one is that?

[Ascend Charlie]

Plenty of floatation gear for the Olympic Torch procession in case it falls overboard, but they didn't notice the flame had gone out.

[SASless]

Irish Stealth Engineering.....putting the lamp shade in the correct position to keep from lighting. up the interior of the boat...while ensuring the boat is seen from all directions.

[Buster Hyman]

We knew the weather was bad but Geezuzz! I can't even window shop in Amsterdam today!

[Buster Hyman]

"I used to be the Barrell Boy, but look at me now!"

Navy. Careers.

[Buster Hyman]

We should've brought a bigger boat.

[Buster Hyman]

"Yemen to the Left of me, LCVP's to the Right here I am, stuck in the middle with you..."

[treadigraph]

I knew the Village People were talking crap...

[treadigraph]

If anyone suggests we call her Boaty McBoatface, things are going to get seriously unpleasant around here...

[Kiltrash]

No no this is not Dangerous, he is on that boat over there

[Kiltrash]

....and on my day off I supply rib experiances down the Thames.....Yes this is my day off, bit dangerous travelling past Wapping.

[Kiltrash]

British Home Secretary goes for a fact finding trip in the Channel to assess the immigrants situation. Finds the people smugglers are getting a bit serious.

[622]

Royal Navy fleet review 2024?

[Buster Hyman]

"You're listening to Radio Caroline on 199, your all day music station...umm...as long as I keep ahead of these guys..."

[Kiltrash]

In the latest instalment of Hot Shots they re enact the scene with the fishing boat....

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/540x960/screenshot_2021_07_16_08_54_23_9a7c3c8f79d9ffe4fad53a40c50f1 e08ca41001f.png

[treadigraph]

Cornish Fishermen hard at work and incidentally looking for any "stray" French fishing smacks on a seek and destroy basis...

[NutLoose]

If Carlsberg did canal boats they'd be the best canal boats in the World.

[Kiltrash]

In Tokyo Bay the Laser 47's get protection from the Green peace Warriors.

[Kiltrash]

Off Carbis bay the MOD protect the G7 conference from windsurfers.
Hoskins it's not Winsurfers it's a pod of Dolphins.

[Chu Chu]

Want to see my rigid hull inflatable boat?

You had me at "rigid."

[SASless]

Readiness OP 2021.....Dunkirk Redux.....scaled down to current numbers.

[andytug]

"I'm gonna be first on that balcony if it kills me!"

[Ascend Charlie]

The German tour guide prepares to lay out the towels for his guests - next week.

[Kiltrash]

Nope can't get it up on the ' plane ' so re balance the load Dianne.

[Kiltrash]

The SBS look to cross the Atlantic faster that Beardy Branson.....

[Kiltrash]

The embedded BBC correspondent goes on patrol in the Carribean and proudly shows the camouflaged pack fished from the sea. Back on board the Admiral is dissapointed when opened is revealed to be Castro's dirty washing.

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x539/landing_craft_9b89222e26f56b6acdc64ff0635f328d95c3a130.jpg

[treadigraph]

Nigel Farage takes to his new role as "Immigration Czar" like a dick to water...

[Kiltrash]

The boat in the background was surprised when HMS Astute surfaced directly under them

[NutLoose]

Jones dreamed of promotion to a craft with an outhouse on the rear deck.

[Kiltrash]

Jonesy was able to find the engine ' Sweet Spot ' if he sat on the seat ' just right '

[Chu Chu]

Barnes and Guy? No, Greta.

[NutLoose]

Although wearing sunglasses FairPlay meant adding a white dot so the enemy could shoot when they saw the whites of his eyes.

[NutLoose]

Operation SAS, Sausages across the Sea head covertly for the Irish coast.

[MPN11]

No bloody Politician is going to tell me where I can go on holiday … OK?

[MPN11]

# “Is this the way to San Jose?”

”Left a bit after the Scilles, mate, and then start walking when you make landfall.”

[NutLoose]

Guys, I know the bloody app said I should self isolate for seven days, but can I come back onboard?..

[Dan Gerous]

Going by my diving watch, judging on Sunday afternoon/evening. If I'd worn my pilots watch and fell overboard, it would be straight to the bottom for me.

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x539/landing_craft_9b89222e26f56b6acdc64ff0635f328d95c3a130.jpg

[NutLoose]

I’d jump overboard like you see those navy seals do, but who the firk wants a salt water enema.

[NutLoose]

British Army Police on patrol for criminals in the Black Sea report back that there’s no Crime Ere.

[Kiltrash]

F1 bosses find yet another motorsport to increase revenue by milking the Lewis vs Max rivalry

[Kiltrash]

Dan hurries to (*) deliver the Caption Competition Trophy to the latest winner..
* insert your name here.

Kiltrash is heard complaining it won't be him as he lives 75 miles from the sea....Well climate change should cure that..

[Kiltrash]

Seeing as there is another Indiana Jones movie in production, Kevin Costner decides to go ahead with Waterworld 2

[Wensleydale]

There is a suspicion that the new Dambusters film used Sharky as the historical advisor.

[Ascend Charlie]

As the short sleeves on the uniform show, his arms aren't the only inordinately long things on Mr Tripod.

[Ninthace]

Water! It floats my boat!

[Kiltrash]

Bravely leading from the front, Captain Baldrick , ordered a hard turn to Port to confront overwhelming odds, just as Corporal Blackadder turned hard to Starboard...Later it was discovered the Corporal did not know his left from his right...

[HAS59]

"A world without string, is a world in chaos".

[Kiltrash]

Radio crackles to life.... " Chief Broady, your gonna need a bigger boat "...

[MPN11]

Thanks to the latest hi-tech comms gear, Cpl Bootie was able to watch the Euro Final through his goggles.

[Dan Gerous]

Right the Ever Given has just sailed by and they said they'd drop the CST off for me, so the runner up is Wensleydale with, "There is a suspicion that the new Dambusters film used Sharky as the historical advisor."

and the winner is Ascend Charlie with, "With a good haul from that UK landing ship, the Somali pirates head back to base."

Over to you.

[Ascend Charlie]

The pirates stole the CST! I am only left with this one:
https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1290x570/screen_shot_2021_07_13_at_10_40_41_am_d21c98882a1b1624c625f0 874866bb18f2f82269.png

[Ninthace]

Try it now, I think it will fit through the hangar doors,

[Ninthace]

Unfortunately, the improved Vne did not make up for the loss of lift.

[Ninthace]

Wings? Where we're going we don't need no wings.

[Ninthace]

The modifications for the attack on the Death Star did not go down well with the crew. There were also lingering doubts over the effectiveness of propellers in a vacuum.

[Ninthace]

Hercules, naval air version - a work in progress.

[NutLoose]

They’re all the rage, just look at the cars you get these days, Compacts come from all the major manufactures.

[NutLoose]

Tech log,

Crack found in outer wing.

crack removed satis.

[garyscott]

Alberts disguise wasn’t good enough, none of the V-22’s believed he was a long lost relative . . .

[Kiltrash]

Are you in trouble no 60

[Kiltrash]

Hold my beer and watch this

[Kiltrash]

Ms Abbot Lewis misjudged the gap again

[Kiltrash]

Fill her up with Red Bull

[cynicalint]

Tyrannosaurus Albert (Rex) discovered by Palaeontologists!

[Chu Chu]

#3 feathered. Or is it #2?

[Chu Chu]

Statistics shows heat-seeking missiles hit the outer wings 80% of the time. With one small modification, we've improved our odds by a factor of 4.

[treadigraph]

Hasegawa add a new kit to their egg plane range...

[Buster Hyman]

I think you've over estimated the abilities of JATO (RATO) Hoskins.

[Kiltrash]

Having run of C130 bits, Lockheed substitutes with some C160 bits left knocking about the factory floor

[Buster Hyman]

Hmmm. Still outperforms the A400. Try it with one engine out.

[Buster Hyman]

If you think 09 is bad, wait till you see 69! It's totally #$%@*&!

[Buster Hyman]

Is this Fat Albert?
No, this one's Stumpy.

[Hydromet]

Well, that's solved the aileron flutter problem.

[fitliker]

Someone taking these short arm inspections out of context .

[cavuman1]

Don't sweat much for a fat girl!

- Ed

[Ascend Charlie]

"Well, Doctor, it all started when I was a kid, pulling the wings off flies, and then it sort of became an obsession..."

[treadigraph]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1290x570/screen_shot_2021_07_13_at_10_40_41_am_d21c98882a1b1624c625f0 874866bb18f2f82269.png

[Hydromet]

"I had one of those, but the wings fell off."

[treadigraph]

If Lockheed built a tiltrotor...

[treadigraph]

The Griswolds' new caravanette was to provide considerable headaches for the law enforcement departments of several US states...

[Kiltrash]

Mrs Hoskins thinks her husbands latest home built simulator will be the end of their marriage ...
Hoskins thinks ... success at last

[Kiltrash]

At St Athens the ninth Glamping Pod for Aviation Enthusiast rolls off the production line....However owing to a shortage of suitable frames RAF Lynham takes additional security measures to prevent rustling

[Kiltrash]

Been to Jan Smuts Airport lately ?

[MPN11]

The investigation revealed that Hoskins had installed the "Remove Before Flight" flags in the wrong locations.

[622]

Hoskins thought he would repeat the 'military aircraft flies under tower bridge' feat.......

[Ninthace]

Hoskins thought he would repeat the 'military aircraft flies under tower bridge' feat.......
In a similar vein

Never try to fly a Fat Albert through a thin Albert Bridge.

[Ninthace]

You think this is bad, you should see the other guy!

[Ninthace]

Well it started with a group of wing-walkers. Then they all got in step and suddenly they, and the wings, were gone!

[Dan Gerous]

I'm telling you man, we're gonna need a 4 bladed prop!

[NutLoose]

I don't mind flying dangerous missions on a wing and a prayer, but FFS, where are the wings?

[NutLoose]

Ok for the next Sqn photograph when the chaps get out of hospital I suggest we have them standing in front of the aircraft, not on it.

[ShyTorque]

"Tower, I'd like to report wingshear on finals!"

[NutLoose]

Look at it this way, they cannot shoot your wings off if you do not have any.

[NutLoose]

Haven't you heard? you do not receive your wings until you have completed the OCU course these days.

[NutLoose]

Well we needed something that would fit on the Carrriers and be capable of inflight refuelling the F35, as we had some surplus Herc's lying about a plan was hatched, true it needs some final tweaking, but the MOD are pleased as it is cheap.

[Ninthace]

I though ground resonance was more of rotary wing thing, but it seems if you fly low enough and time the hedgerows just right ...........

[Ninthace]

I think we may have gone a tad over Vne on that last sortie Chief, have a look will you?

[Ninthace]

Sir, the boss says when you have finished signing the 700, could you pop into his office for a chat. Better take your own coffee in with you.

[Kiltrash]

See what happens when you don't synchronise the props

[Kiltrash]

Don't see anything wrong said the Heavy Haulage Manager just as the load set off from Bruntingthorpe

[Kiltrash]

Co Pilot...Think we had a bird strike skip
Pilot....Windscreens fine...
Engineer....Look out the side windows..

[Kiltrash]

On descend into Brize there was a suspected Drone strike. AAIB asked for evidence. ...

[Kiltrash]

At Cambridge the last C130 to be upgraded was rolled out, then it was realised the Horizontal Stabiliser was put back on in place of the Wings....
The unions later blamed Management as the factory closed for the last time..

[treadigraph]

Oh, I don't think the ramps at Brize are overcrowded at all...

[Chu Chu]

It kept flying away.

[Dan Gerous]

Albert Lite, for all those little jobs the G222 can't hack.


https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1290x570/screen_shot_2021_07_13_at_10_40_41_am_d21c98882a1b1624c625f0 874866bb18f2f82269.png

[Buster Hyman]

Well, if an F15 can do it....

[SASless]

The RAF continues with its downsizing with the final step being all virtual flying to accomplish the Zero Airframes goal.

[treadigraph]

Duxford said "have you got one that will fit in our hangar?" So...

[Kiltrash]

No this is the stripped down sports version

[Kiltrash]

No it don't fly, but sure makes the boy racers move over on the highway. Just need to fit the additional ' Sun ' lights on the roof.

[Kiltrash]

The wings? No they were sent on the Evergiven
or
no they were sent by Eddie Stobart, but all their drivers have returned to Poland

[Fortissimo]

"So, Cpl Baldrick, you have signed this off as serviceable but it seems to be missing rather a lot of wing. Any idea what happened to them?"

"Yes, sir, I canceled them! Well, deleted, really."

"Canceled?"

"Yes, sir. The Diversity and Inclusion officer said we were to avoid anything that was extreme right wing or extreme left wing. So I thought of a cunning plan..."

[Kiltrash]

Damm good this stealth paint. Now get it all done

[NutLoose]

These are the export model designed to equip the Afghan airforce when we leave, serious consideration went into it as we didn’t want them dropping out of the skies like flies, nor Terry Taliban getting their hands on something that would actually fly.
Another thing we have done on them is treat them very well with corrosion preventative, that way we should be able to recover them from the Afghanistani scrapyard in about 20 years time.

[Ascend Charlie]

Judging in about 10 hrs time, some rib-ticklers so far!

[Kiltrash]

Boy these new engines are soo quiet, can't hear 1&4 so start 2&3 please..

[Kiltrash]

As 09 was accepted into service the traditional fireman arch was shown to increase corrosion

[622]

"Wow, that was a quick walk round Hoskins.."
"Yes Sir...couple of observations!"

[622]

"Look Hoskins, I know you wanted to break the news to Chiefy gently ....but writing 'Nav lights U/S' was really not the way to do it!"

[Kiltrash]

....and finally.
Later it was discovered that Hoskins, who also felt he was the funniest pilot on the Squadron, told a joke that was such a Rib Tickler, the aircraft shook so much the wings fell off.

[Ascend Charlie]

OK, here come de judge...

A few reminded me of Maint Log entries from my own past -

622 writing that the Nav lights were U/S
MPN with "remove before flight"
Nutty with "crack removed"

But this one goes to Kiltrash
Damm good this stealth paint. Now get it all done

CST on its way when the rest of the Hercu-LESS gets painted.

[Kiltrash]

Many thanks AC... wait one's in one's swimming pool ...well almost😂 well it belongs to the local authority
Will pop up a fresh pic after 4 pm

[treadigraph]

Caption awaiting a picture: Kilty rashly nicks a German towel from a sun lounger to dry himself off...

[Kiltrash]

Now i've been for a doggy paddle back across the river Tweed back to safety may i offer up...
https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/700x444/funny_pictures_military_day_off_17_63ff3daf3409e79587be87a94 2eba5fa50c13207.jpg

[Ninthace]

What goes around, comes around.

OR

The Red Square fly past. B Troop show how it’s done.

[cavuman1]

Attack! Retreat! Attack! Retreat! Repeat as necessary.

- Ed

[NutLoose]

No way, we RAF Electricians only ride dogs.

[NutLoose]

We've got them encircled.

[622]

In line with defence cuts to aircrew flying v's simulator time.....the cavalry are forced to do likewise

[NutLoose]

what do you mean it isn't an olympic sport? we've been practicing for ages.

[622]

Trooping the colour has certainly gone downhill!

[NutLoose]

When you asked me if I wanted to go one to one with some mare doing pole dancing, this wasn't what I had in mind.

[NutLoose]

They're the armies version of the Lipizzaner Stallions, we call them the galloping ****z.

[MPN11]

The US Defense Budget takes another unexpected hit, at $1.50 per ride.

[622]

I told you giving the centrifuge contract to the lowest bidder would be a disaster!

[NutLoose]

We're here protecting the two little boys and their two little wooden horse toys, Rolf Harris has been seen in the neighbourhood.

[treadigraph]

During his remake of "The Wooden Horse", Oliver Stone left no detail unaltered...

(or do I mean Oliver Alter left no detail unstoned?)

[Dan Gerous]

Somebody said Apache's, so we're circling the wagons.
https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/700x444/funny_pictures_military_day_off_17_63ff3daf3409e79587be87a94 2eba5fa50c13207.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

This is much better than the carousel at Disney World. We get to carry our guns on this one.

[Chu Chu]

The deployment had its ups and downs.

[NutLoose]

We’re the four horsemen of the apoccolips..apockolyps.. apocalypese… sod it, the worlds end.

[Chu Chu]

The best part of it is, no matter who gets there first, we get our pick of the horses.

[treadigraph]

Hold up lads, we've been accused of animal cruelty by PETA...

[SASless]

The Hollywood Remake of "12 Strong" suffered from poor CGI effects.

[Ascend Charlie]

Singing the Company song made them a little hoarse...

[Ascend Charlie]

Hoskins never gets it right, we told him to ring around for some whores.

[Wensleydale]

After buying RAF Sentry ZH104, the USN finds out what goes on under the rotodome.

[fitliker]

The unicorns were de- horned as per health and safety rules to prevent accidents and injury to sensitive soft tissue . So the helmets were not really required .

[cavuman1]

After shooting out the floor of the merry-go-round, the four remaining members of the Coney Island squadron move to the tilt-a-whirl, where a further two members sustain injuries due to friendly fire.

- Ed

[NutLoose]

No matter how fast they went they still couldn’t manage to catch the four Taliban on horseback out in front.