Caption Competition Mk III

[Confusious]

It's OK guys, I've seen Eddie Hall do this.

[MPN11]

Poor thing … it’s suffering from Turrets Syndrome.

[treadigraph]

Now I know why the Brits call us Septics...

[treadigraph]

Don't laugh but the Colonel's just in front of us in a Jeep...

[MPN11]

“The tow hook? Attach it yourself, comrade!”

[Kiltrash]

See what happens to the British Tank when they let Maggie or Diana or in fact any female reporter drive it off range in Aldershot. ..

[Kiltrash]

A little bit of light drizzle is to be expected on the M25. Speeds are anticipated to increase

[Kiltrash]

Farmer John ski fortunately was on hand to aid recovery

[treadigraph]

Hello, is that the RAC membership...?

[treadigraph]

The Croydon TA were well versed in dealing with unprepared roads, as demonstrated by this photo taken just outside their HQ on Mitcham Road...

[Kiltrash]

Remember when Mythbusters filmed what heppened when firing a 50cal into a tank full of water..? Well they have re visited it and super size to a 88 they ' just happened ' to have lying around..

[andytug]

"Ok Sergei.....Just let me know when that Ukranian tractor clears the next hill and it'll be OK to come out....."

[NutLoose]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/600x431/image_d7f66392ee19471bc78a1ddcf5ad8fa8d80e719a.jpeg

[MPN11]

… if Carlsberg made submarines … …

[cynicalint]

The Vicar of Dibley took more precautions before she tried to jump in the puddle and failed again

[treadigraph]

Parade? Now?

[MPN11]

“Mum, look what Uncle Arthur has done …”

[Kiltrash]

The Household Cavalry finally get the Paparazzi in their sights much to the delight of Prince Edward

[Dan Gerous]

This mud pack will do my wonders for my complexion, and another great tank pic of me. #Liz for PM

[Chu Chu]

Must have been a rouge wave, Sir.

[Kiltrash]

To show complete political fairness, the Def Sec shows just how easy it is to drive the UK plc's new main battle tank. .. export version ...even with no actual training...

[Kiltrash]

Isn't a tank meant to hold the fluids in the inside?

[Wensleydale]

Must have been a rouge wave, Sir.

The parting of the Red Sea?

[treadigraph]

The parting of the Red Sea?
That proper made I larf that did!

[NutLoose]

Dipping my weapon in a wet smelly hole... ahh..... how it brings back memories of Olga....

[NutLoose]

This was not one of Shamus O'Tooles brightest moments, even surpassing when he played Russian Roulette with his crew using an Automatic pistol.

[Dan Gerous]

Sorry Boss, but I did keep the barrel above water.

[fitliker]

The new woke tank enjoying Spa mud exfoliating and moisturizing treatments , nails and eyebrows are next , followed by compulsory gender reassignment with a size ten , so hard that you will look like you have three Adam’s apples .

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

So this is why vision blocks are called periscopes?

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

You know they tried this with Shermans in '44. Didn't work then either.

[Kiltrash]

There that proves it that during a heat wave the tar in British roads is not up to the job . Better send for the gritters...

[Kiltrash]

Fortunately this was a Inflatable tank, rescued from the decoy army

[Kiltrash]

You WILL give me your backing for the Leader of the Party vote..

[MPN11]

“Don’t worry, Boris … they’re Rishing to our rescue …”

[Kiltrash]

Hey, where'd that CVN go....

[Kiltrash]

At Omaha the water depth was reported to be 2.... we assumed they meant 2 foot not that 2 meter Euro Crap.

[Kiltrash]

As the Conservative Party Leader Elections loom, The Cabinet members are all for Rushin' to support their favourite candidate.

[Kiltrash]

President Zelensky sends one of his few remaining tanks to help support the blockaded British Prime Minister in Downing Street.. However due to delays with paperwork at the port it arrived too late.

[MPN11]

“oh, forget the bloody Press leaks … this thing does too.”

[treadigraph]

...my Army & Navy shares tanked too...

[Buster Hyman]

I'm sorry Virgil, but Thunderbird 4's in the shop!

[Buster Hyman]

I asked your to clear the Culvert, not drive through it!

[fdr]

The 120mm snorkel was a big hit to Vlads submariners.

[Buster Hyman]

Dear Comrade. The Siberian Brigade would like to raise some concerns about climate change with the Party....

[fdr]

"... for those in peril on... the sea..."

[NutLoose]

Er' those bleeding Gypo's 'ave nicked me seat.

[NutLoose]

Bloody conscripts, that's not what I meant when I said take my tank and fill her up.

[NutLoose]

Meanwhile on the trans Siberian motorway...

[fdr]

Russia's replacement for the cruiser Moscow on her "Maidan" voyage.

[cynicalint]

I thought i would park my tank on the lawns of No 10 to stand for the leadership, but i think my chances are now sunk!

[MJ89]

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1922x812/alien_e59e3bf531ec1700f9643f20b60ae548fccb7405.jpg
In Soviet kherson no one can hear you scream

[NutLoose]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/600x431/image_4159590df4b6330f9fbc57756a8ee67567d57467.jpeg

[NutLoose]

You can never find a Ukrainian when you want to brew up.

[Wensleydale]

the cheaper way of filling up a tank...

[uxb99]

"Hello, Green Flag, yes it may well have sand in the engine"

[cavuman1]

We should have ordered the mudflap option!

- Ed

[Hydromet]

"Could someone please send a tractor?"

[Buster Hyman]

We're listing to Starboard Skipper!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

You may laugh, but we're still sitting on the transporter.

[Buster Hyman]

These under water Ammo dumps are a lifesaver!

[Woodsy2417]

I didn't think you could get trench foot in a tank comrade sergeant?

[Kiltrash]

Action Man has put on a lot of weight recently

[Kiltrash]

Duck....Wha??. .clank. .. Turret Traversing ..now you tell me

[Kiltrash]

At the Top Gear Technologies Centre the latest go anywhere do anything conversion for a Hovercraft had one tinny weeny oversight.
Hammond was the designated driver, what could possibly go wrong.

[MPN11]

The new CGI Tank Simulator provided an immersive experience.

[Kiltrash]

Well all was well till I discovered a Tiger in my Tank..

[cavuman1]

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.
Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the caldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.
Cool it with a baboon's blood,
Then the charm is firm and good.

But get this tank out from this ditch,
If you don't, you're a son of a, err, witch!

- Ed

[Self loading bear]

T-minus-72 to lift-off.

[Buster Hyman]

"...One ping only Vassilli!"

[treadigraph]

'Ang on lads, I've got a great idea...

[622]

Keep em' coming ....judging in 24 hours (give or take a bit!)

[Kiltrash]

At least being a Electric Tank it needs regular cooling down in the very hot weather....

[NutLoose]

How many miles to the gallon do you get?

[NutLoose]

I cannot understand why you sank, that looks like its a little light.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/600x431/image_4159590df4b6330f9fbc57756a8ee67567d57467_jpeg_2af43e14 1d129971e09aa58a6a9a8fdcef24c8df.jpg

[NutLoose]

F***.. F****.. P*SS... F****.. SH*T.. F****.... sorry, I have turrets syndrome.

[Dan Gerous]

Yeh, sorry. I thought that was a snorkel

[Hydromet]

Bloggs was just keeping up the family tradition. At Ypres, they couldn't pull his Grandfather out of the mud because his feet were caught in the stirrups.

[Chu Chu]

"2017" (courtesy Wipers Times)

(Though Hydromet beat me to it).

[Kiltrash]

I'm not getting out, it's the only way way to cool off in this weather...

[Kiltrash]

With the current Bush fires on Salisbury Plain we had to change our route to the Croydon Lido

[Buster Hyman]

"No, I said it was ambitious, not amphibious!"

[Kiltrash]

...and finally from me...
The Bitch in the box follows her own directions..

[622]

'Tanks' for all the entries....

In second place is:

Traffic_is_Er_Was with:
You may laugh, but we're still sitting on the transporter.

But the winner of this weeks CST is - and I believe a new recipient! :
Woodsy2417 with:
I didn't think you could get trench foot in a tank comrade sergeant?

Over to you !

[treadigraph]

With the current Bush fires on Salisbury Plain we had to change our route to the Croydon Lido
Believe it or not, they filled the lido in but left the diving board there as it's art deco...

Congrats Woodsy2417!

[Hydromet]

Well done, Woodys 2417

[NutLoose]

It might be worth sending Woodsy a PM and a brief idea about the rules as he may be unaware.

[Self loading bear]

It might be worth sending Woodsy a PM and a brief idea about the rules as he may be unaware.

I think woodsy is not yet allowed to post pictures nor to receive/send PMs (less than 10 posts).

[Senior Pilot]

Just a reminder that comms via email is ‘the way to go’ for low post count members.

Also, highlight usernames by starting with the @ symbol and selecting the name will draw a member’s attention to the post. Finally he hasn’t been online for a couple of days, so it could be worth either declaring Open House or nominating an alternative winner who won’t be constrained by being unable to post images 🤔 👍

[Woodsy2417]

Gosh Thank you so much for the accolade.I am happy to hand over the baton - so as not to slow up this thread- to someone else until I get my head around the ins and outs of posting pictures.:)

[Kiltrash]

OK if I'm not stepping on anyone's toes and to get us moving if I may post one for your consideration. .. theres no point searching the Web for picture info as it's copyright...to me 😁
However for those unable to guess where it is all I will say is...'Just Jane '

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1124/20220517_122359_2_cb171926dfbe69c2b4969c1a10b5a51dd1135446.j pg

[Hydromet]

When Bloggs landed his helicopter on the back of a moving truck, Hoskins decided to one-up him.

[fdr]

«Сер, ми, українці, цінуємо всю допомогу, яку надає Блайті, але чи могли б ми отримати стандартну РСЗВ замість системи залпового бомбардування Merlin?» Дякую вам, мої друзі
"Sir, we Ukrainians appreciate all the help that Blighty is giving, but could we get the standard MRLS instead of the multiple merlin bombing system?" Thanking you my friends"



[treadigraph]

The scaling back of defence spending in the UK has had some unfortunate effects...

[Self loading bear]

Recently I heard they want to spent £2.5mil on those Mini Cooper wheels.
Hysteria and noga thread (https://www.pprune.org/aviation-history-nostalgia/647454-mod-spending-bbmf.html#post11251510)

[Self loading bear]

Hoskins, what on earth have you done?

Sir, you instructed me to recover a kart wheel victim.
Anything wrong , Sir?

[treadigraph]

"Max Load 3 Tons Evenly Distributed"

So we are taking the Roly Polys to their next gig, make sure you get them spread along the length of the trailer...

[Chu Chu]

Desperate to reach second place, Truss was popping up everywhere.

[Chu Chu]

Why is a black tail sticking out from under that tire?

[cynicalint]

Defence cuts meant a smaller bomber force.

[NutLoose]

Of course it’s a drone, have you never sat between 4 engines and listened to them when their in sync

[SASless]

Must be a Labour Government....since when was the Load evenly distributed in the RAF?

[Kiltrash]

OK this was only ever to be a holding picture so last orders please. Judging Monday Breakfast time after I get back from the gym do we can have another one for the Heatwave Lockdown...
thanks
Ps not relevant but I'm on Rory at 8-1 to win only ....do I cash out? ? Descission descission ...

[MPN11]

"Don't drive into any muddy puddles, Hoskinski!"

[Wensleydale]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/240x240/ft_e1261af5a2ff18a003601c3cacd825484f94de71.jpg
"Cows Getting Bigger - Cows Getting Smaller!"

[MPN11]

OK, so it's a Truck. Where are the Fast Jets?

[cynicalint]

Simple, we feed a small Lanc through the back, and a brand new Mossie comes out of the front.

[cynicalint]

Simple, we feed a small Lanc through the back, and a brand new Mossie comes out of the front.

[622]

Hoskins you idiot.....It clearly says here 'If carrying a Lancaster ensure all vehicle washes are below 60 degrees - as some shrinkage may occur'

[Kiltrash]

622 comes closest to my warped sense of humour about having washed Janes underwear on too hot a wash and is awarded 2nd prize with

Hoskins you idiot.....It clearly says here 'If carrying a Lancaster ensure all vehicle washes are below 60 degrees - as some shrinkage may occur'

However the winner is Cynicalnt with

Simple, we feed a small Lanc through the back, and a brand new Mossie comes out of the front.

Over to you Sir...

[Ascend Charlie]

"No, Hoskins, I wanted Playboy Bunnies, not Duracell bunnies!"

[cynicalint]

Thank you Kiltrash, i will take out the diminished CST from the Mossie and pass it on to the winner of this one!
https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x842/aircraft_paint_40_dcc2675e35d8d456bcd457e171f5477b36a3af33.j pg

[Wensleydale]

Who called for the AA?

[treadigraph]

Torchy the Battery Boy will be here in a mo, he's gonna fly it...

[treadigraph]

The MoD accept new ways of funding British defence - the Lossie and Coningsby Typhoon Squadrons will be sponsored by Eveready...

[Hydromet]

"Hoskins, you're on a charge!"

[Chu Chu]

Replacing the fuselage with a battery successfully resolved the range problems. Now we can work on cargo capacity.

[treadigraph]

You're gonna need a ****-load more batteries...

[622]

Gladys to Daisy "How do you know he's the pilot of this plane?"

Daisy "We chatted in bar last night.....and he went on and on and on ......"

[treadigraph]

We used to use Varta batteries but the odour was quite unpleasant...

[622]

When you said my aircraft would be full of new toys......I thought you meant it had a cockpit upgrade!

[622]

It makes departing much easier ...no more need for push-back tugs, we just reverse the polarity at the gate.

[622]

Warning ....Non PC humour (possibly!)....

"When you said I would be taking a copper top bird to heaven and back ......I thought you meant I was going to strike lucky with the new Ginger haired lady in Admin!"

[Buster Hyman]

You don’t want to know what the ‘Toys for Totties’ aircraft looked like!

[Buster Hyman]

GPU? We don’t need no stinkin GPU!

[Chu Chu]

Hoping the supplier's engineers were more competent than their trademark lawyers, Con-Pilot takes delivery of a new aircraft.

[SASless]

Well yes....the one most interesting developments is there are no sudden engine failures anymore....as you get a visual warning as the cockpit lights grow dim.

[Kiltrash]

AAIB report found the fuel supply was out of date....

[Kiltrash]

Well that's another giant leap towards the Prime Minister pledge to get the UK Carbon Neutral by 2030..
So why is he still flying a gas guzzling Boris Force 1 ??
Oh yes, the rules don't apply to him.

[Kiltrash]

The Ukrainian citizens were glad to receive humanitarian relief from the UK...
What Water, Shelter and Medicines??
No Power packs for their Mobile Devices..

[Kiltrash]

Don't think Auto Start Stop is really a advantage here....

[622]

So, plane 'tick', crew 'tick', Thousands of new toys for kids 'tick' .......batteries for the toys? ......bugger !!

[treadigraph]

Well, you said you wanted a large battery operated vibrator...

[Self loading bear]

What does that sign say?
Toys for joys???

[Confusious]

The loadmaster overheard the pilots saying that they needed to shed some of the electrical load.

[Kiltrash]

On Christmas day the cry round the world was " **** me Santa forgot the batteries" ...Trust him to use an Electra. .. ( yes I know it's not an Electra but never let the facts get in the way of a Caption )

[Kiltrash]

I'm sure I only ordered 1 pack of 24 batteries from China...
Sorry mate buyer pays return postage

[Kiltrash]

Sorry mate, said the Jobsworth, we're not loading that...
Get the Pilot to do it...
or
Get the Pilot to move and park ON the X we marked out.

[MPN11]

It’s a reVolting colour scheme

[Confusious]

It’s a reVolting colour scheme
Now, that's got potential.😀

[Wensleydale]

"What do you mean its a C130? We've only brought along PP3s"

[treadigraph]

Are you positive you are at the correct terminal?

[cavuman1]

Your tongue really tingles if you lick the radome.

- Ed

[Hydromet]

"Hoskins, when I said to just do a short circuit..."

[Buster Hyman]

There's no way we'll find the Golden Rivet now!

[Buster Hyman]

All was going well until they discovered the Squadrons motto was "Ever Ready"

[fdr]

"whaddyamean no dangerous goods?"

[Chu Chu]

With this paint job, the Russians will never guess we’re delivering a triple-A battery.

[treadigraph]

Flat battery will get you nowhere....

[Kiltrash]

Treadigraph wishes the Water Bomber had not been repurposed .....for economic reasons ...
( hope all are safe in Croydon )

[SLXOwft]

Lockheed C-130, it just keeps on running.

[Kiltrash]

Due to its age the Pilot finds his EFB is a bit power hungry

[fdr]

Yet the crew still have to borrow the sumpy's torch for walk-around at night.

[NutLoose]

Khe Sanh approach? No, this was a Trump initiative, it's his Fake Tan approach.

[NutLoose]

When I said I wanted a flying battery I meant a Gunship you idiots.

[SLXOwft]

Duracell announces its membership of AirCharger a first step in a potential bid for the PFI for 'in-flight energy replacement' delivery platforms for the zero carbon future of the RAF.

[Kiltrash]

Warning, product placement...

[Kiltrash]

Don't worry, when this goes out on the 6pm BBC News they will pixelate out any ' free advertising '

[Kiltrash]

PPRuNe Moderator later deleted this picture due to infringement of advertising. Caused total confusion as no one understood the ' Capions without Picture '

[MPN11]

It's Lavrov's private aircraft. He just goes on, and on, and on as well.

[Kiltrash]

Congratulations Dr Barnard, inventing the World's First insertable Pacemaker, now just have to do something about the power source ...

[Ascend Charlie]

Thank you Kiltrash, i will take out the diminished CST from the Mossie and pass it on to the winner of this one!
https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x842/aircraft_paint_40_dcc2675e35d8d456bcd457e171f5477b36a3af33.j pg
Hoskins, why did you put gold paint over my chin windows??

[622]

Miss Tots was over the moon after winning a liftime supply of (Ahem) 'Toys' in the Anne Summers competition draw.

[NutLoose]

Amongst us crew, we call it "The Ginger Stepkid" because it has a copper coloured top.

[NutLoose]

We dropped the Marines behind Russian lines and have since found out their courts have charged us with assault and battery.

[Dan Gerous]

Hoskins, when I said convert this airframe into a flying battery, I meant a gunship!

(Please ignore this caption, I appear to have missed a similar caption)

[Buster Hyman]

Well...this totally changes my thinking for a Positive rate of climb!

[NutLoose]

Hoskins, when I said convert this airframe into a flying battery, I meant a gunship!

cough cough 11905 ;)

[NutLoose]

You've done the wrong aircraft, you were supposed to copper plate the hull of the Belfast to slow down barnacle growth.

[Kiltrash]

Sent to the Ukraine to support their forces, the AC130 had to disguise their 50cal ammo to get past any Russian inspections....

[Dan Gerous]

cough cough 11905 ;)
Apologies Nutloose, I must have missed your one.

[NutLoose]

Apologies Nutloose, I must have missed your one.

Hey nothing to apologise about and they are different so leave it in, great minds think a like and all that. :)

[SASless]

"Toys for Tots"....the secret behind all those Wax Crayons US Marines consider a dietary delicacy.

[NutLoose]

Hoskins, why did you put gold paint over my chin windows??

Because you don’t have them silly, it’s not a military Hercules, you don’t have para doors either

[NutLoose]

We found the pilots had a positive attitude while the loadmaster down the back was definitely negative.

[NutLoose]

Ok chaps, we’re on 2 hr standby to go, so we need to be Ever Ready.

[NutLoose]

I’ve heard the Captain just has to look at a cute bunny and he discharges faster than a cheap battery.

[NutLoose]

Don’t worry about the flack, we’re carrying our own Triple A

[Buster Hyman]

Ok chaps, we’re on 2 hr standby to go, so we need to be Ever Ready.
Cough cough 11896

[Buster Hyman]

Don’t worry about the flack, we’re carrying our own Triple A
Cough cough 11898!

[Kiltrash]

Skip there seems to be a spot of electrical interference on the ADF. we need to check for a Loose connection.

[Ascend Charlie]

Is this Capcomp falling a little....flat.....?

[Kiltrash]

While this seems, at first , a great idea perhaps due to Global Warming we should have used ...
Rechargeable Batteries??
or
Solar Batteries?? , esp as we fly above the clouds in daylight.

[Kiltrash]

In a Last desperate attempt to give Lewis the Power he needs, Mercedes look to upgrade the electrical performance of his car...Later discover the batteries were Made in Italy / Netherlands

[Kiltrash]

Dangerous goods, no we log them as Car Parts, what could possibly go wrong??

[Kiltrash]

Think we need a Boost for the weekend Sir, Quick better get them to Fairford for the Snappers
Bit late Sir, that was last week...

[treadigraph]

Cough cough 11896

Cough cough 11865 - imitation is the sincerest form of flat battery... :p

[ShyTorque]

Close formation is impossible because they repel each other.

[Wensleydale]

Has anyone got Form 252? We need to put them on a charge!....

[Buster Hyman]

Cough cough 11865 - imitation is the sincerest form of flat battery... :p
Odd numbered ones don't count. :}

[treadigraph]

Ah, that old Evenready battery turkey... :ok:

[Dan Gerous]

That's the problem with recharchable's, you keep getting the same output.

[Kiltrash]

We lash them together in Series and apply them to Hoskins Testicles. We hoped that it will alert him when he get a bit late on his roundout. ..however he seems to enjoy it..

[NutLoose]

Charge that airman......

[cynicalint]

From a plethora of really funny answers, the mental picture of someone who goes around, cough, cough, licking aircaft noses is:-

Your tongue really tingles if you lick the radome.
- Ed

CST tingling to get to you!

[cavuman1]

Thank you, cynacalint! I shall place the valuable CST in a Faraday Cage and assure that it is properly grounded. In the interim, I am certain that the membership will generate some hilarious captions for this:

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/500x490/46_c5d71db9404220d08025235565284c3ed513d875.jpg

- Ed

[treadigraph]

Suddenly Pittsburgh didn't seem such an attractive destination. Perhaps he could reconfigure the navigation systems...

[Kiltrash]

What could possibly go wrong?? ...Square Windows..

[Kiltrash]

While watching " Debbie does Dallas ", Hank was glad he had signed up for Auto Switch Tabs when the Hostie approached. .

[Kiltrash]

With fingers that long, he's obvious a Gynecologist.

[NutLoose]

****, I'm on a Boeing..

[cynicalint]

oopps! does someone have a copy of the Pilot's Notes handy?

[NutLoose]

Bloody RyanAir, it’s now telling me a fee is involved.

[NutLoose]

Bloody RyanAir and it’s offering a selection of options to enable,
Standard legroom tick
2 inch extra legroom tick
water tick
cup water for the use off tick
inflight catering tick
hostess service tick
carry on bag allowance tick
lifejacket tick
airvent tick

I could buy the aircraft for the price of these

[Self loading bear]

I better choose MRTT configuration otherwise chances are the installation will grind to a halt in Iran due to missing upgrades.

[NutLoose]

Ohh… there appears to be a tanker option, but at over a million pound a day who in their right mind would ever tick that option.

[SLXOwft]

Ha, now I can teach them for not giving me an upgrade.

[SLXOwft]

Merde, I 'ave been 'acked, all ARC software is bilingual"

[Buster Hyman]

Holy Crap! I'm on an A310?????

[Chu Chu]

After the incident, all agreed that the passenger in 27A looked rather sketchy.

[treadigraph]

Hoskins pressed the start button; after all, there was a good chance it would fix the problem with his stewardess call button not working, so he could order another gin...

[Chu Chu]

The origin of the term “blue screen of death.”

[Kiltrash]

Holy Crap! I'm on an A310?????

Well we had no issues with our A310 flight from Toronto to Gatwick. ( apart from its tiredness being 18 years old) the only issue we had was with Border Farce at LGW...however I digress..

Caption..
Boy these home sims are really good. Even comes with clouds drifting lazily by and a good dose of UV... if it all goes wrong just Alt Ctrl Delete cures the issue

[Kiltrash]

The Court Sketch Artist just can't get away from their day job while on holiday

[Kiltrash]

Just then Sully came on the PA to prepare the cabin for landing....much to Hanks relief...Im needing a cool down he thought

[Kiltrash]

Just then the Laptop ran out of power..." Now where's my spare battery (ies) " he thought

[Kiltrash]

Just then Hank was reading the latest rib tickling Caption from PPRuNe and wished he had not just taken a big swig of Red Wine... Dammit he thought Kiltrash owes me a new keyboard.

[Kiltrash]

Investigators finally locate the first sign of trouble on MH990

[treadigraph]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/500x490/46_c5d71db9404220d08025235565284c3ed513d875.jpg

[Kiltrash]

How can you tell the typist is from Essex??
There's Tippex on the screen...boom boom
( Other correcting fluids are available )

[Dan Gerous]

Just click cancel and look out the window for the rest of the journey.

[Dan Gerous]

Typical, I can't get a window seat and the prick sitting there has his face buried in his laptop.

[treadigraph]

Sometimes being a senior Boeing executive was FUN!

[MPN11]

Well, it looks more interesting than the usual collection of BA's Harry Potter and Bollywood films ...

[Kiltrash]

Hostile. ..now that's 12 times the Prick in 27 A has requested a gin and tonic.... don't he know it's a stretch across the other 3 seats in the row...
...Beryl ... do your zip up on your uniform. .

[Kiltrash]

I think he's a reporter, let me look...ah yes on the manifest Mr Clark Kent, Daily Planet..

[Kiltrash]

Thinks in French...No I don't understand its all in English....and Google Translate don't comprehend, ah well just accept I will

[Kiltrash]

Hostie To Cabin Manager.
..No just before it burst into smoke it said somthing about " If you or any of your IMF are captured the Secretary will dissavow any knowledge... "

[treadigraph]

So far Hoskins' plan to cause Airbus shares to tank was running like clockwork. However he had this nagging feeling he'd overlooked one important detail...

[Confusious]

⚠️WARNING⚠️
The software that you are about to connect to contains several bugs, trojans and malware, which may compromise the security of your PC.
PRESS CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK

[cavuman1]

NOT A CAPTION

David Crosby of Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young is seated in the row directly in front of our computer geek subject. Though thoroughly enjoying the excellent caption contributions, he is in a hurry to get to his destination and has instructed me to select a winner on 24/7/2022 at or about 1500Z.

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

Skynet designer tries one final test of his AI Software before launching it to the Defence Department...

[treadigraph]

NOT A CAPTION

David Crosby of Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young is seated in the row directly in front of our computer geek subject. Though thoroughly enjoying the excellent caption contributions, he is in a hurry to get to his destination

Eight Miles High? :p

[Self loading bear]

And once again PPRuNe has determined the true cause within 2 days of the crash.

[Confusious]

Right, I'm in!
If this doesn't get me a mention on PPRuNe then nothing will.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Warning, this Airbus software is incompatible with this version of Windows. Please right click on the program and try again in Windows 3.1 compatibility mode.

[Kiltrash]

As Captain Hoskins managed to keep his lack of Piloting skills secret by always telling the FO it was his / her sector he would take a extended crew rest break in the First Class Cabin...of Easyjet

[Confusious]

It's OK, I'm just rehearsing for the next EE advert.

[cavuman1]

Well played, all! The usual plethora of superior entries by the usual suspects, but as the main gear deploys the winner is Chu Chu with:

"After the incident, all agreed that the passenger in 27A looked rather sketchy."

Well done! The Coffman Starter Trophy will be sent your way as soon as I can get my laptop to print a mailing label.

- Ed

[Chu Chu]

Thank you very much, cavuman!

As it happens, I’m on vacation in what should soon be NATO’s 31st member (or 32nd, I guess). With limited internet access
and no stash of photos, I declare open house.

[Dan Gerous]

I've got this one I've been saving for a while now.

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/948x796/yf_12_aircraft_model_in_the_10x10_foot_wind_tunnel_79a5ef_b6 9e3214243a8e09a29df24cc81b6a7def096420.jpg

[Ascend Charlie]

Having seen the troubles that the 737 Max got into by only having one airspeed probe, the Skunk Works built in some backups.

[Ascend Charlie]

He had been waiting for days, but eventually the Alien from Rigel IV showed itself.

[treadigraph]

Hey, have you fellows seen my wig?

[treadigraph]

Lockheed's plans to adapt the Fulton system for rapid hot extractions undergo early tests...

[cynicalint]

As it was being anally probed, the Blackbird fantasized about how its future pilots who would take to heaven and back would look like.

[cynicalint]

Red light district revolving viewing booths with sliding windows for dirty old aircraft engineers

[Self loading bear]

John Deere’s high speed harvester

[Wensleydale]

Nope. Still doesn't sing in the dead of night......

[cavuman1]

The Blackbird was designed to have some damn good TV reception!

- Ed