Caption Competition Mk III

[Kiltrash]

Talk to me Goose....
Sorry wondering what all these knobs and switches do...
Mav Mutters, your the biggest knob back there

[Kiltrash]

Damm glossy books for the in flight magazine this won't hold my attention for long....
err what was I doing??

[jolihokistix]

"Let's see, stewardesses on p.3 and stewards on p.4..."

[Wensleydale]

"Now where are the job ads for Ryan Air?"

[treadigraph]

Scott Tracy's CV reference to flying Thunderbird 1 led to an unfortunate misunderstanding when he joined the Air Force Reserve...

[Kiltrash]

Press button A to be connected, Button B to return your coins....
Are you sure we have the correct manuals??

[Kiltrash]

Having studiously studied the fly past route for the Victory Parade, Red 4 was aghast at it being cancelled due to weather..
Having suggested flying the routine at 20000 where the sky was clear and bright was met with scorn,.. and a transfer to the Ukraine front

[Kiltrash]

Cor, phew, pant, gasp ...look at the engines on that...
Pure Aviation Porn

[622]

So 'just' the guy in the back am I ........right, find your own way I'm busy reading this.....

[NutLoose]

USAF trial ejectable helmets, it comes complete with an operators manual in case of emergency.

[622]

4 Down ...'Eject'

....err you still there? ....

[treadigraph]

Hey Maverick, my article in Navy News has been published...

Yeah? What's it say?

That you're a dangerous :mad:

Ok Goose, time for you to fly solo...

[Buster Hyman]

(variation on Kilty's theme...)
Phwoar! Check out the undercarriage on that!!!

[NutLoose]

Hang on, I am trying to figure out the next turning point skipper..

[Buster Hyman]

Ah feel the need...the need for a read!

[NutLoose]

Well will you look at that, you can now get a little black box called a GDS or something like that.. ohh wait, it's called a GPS and it does exactly what I do skipper....

[Buster Hyman]

"Hey! That Tracked Trebuchet just took a shot at us!"
"Well...release countermeasure!"
"Okay, Pox ridden Peasants released!"

[Buster Hyman]

Almost done. Last page....aaand...oh crap! There's a Part 2 of the Ukrainian War thread!

[NutLoose]

Hey Skipper, I have found a lovely little irrigation canal to put her down in, we could spend the afternoon fishing..

[NutLoose]

Hey Skipper, most of the pages in your book are blank...

Ahh, that's my book of Busters Caption Competition wins

[fitliker]

The new multilingual QRH is all pictures to facilitate multilingual crew and those that cannot read without specs , more cunnilingual than multilingual me thinks

[Buster Hyman]

Hey Skipper, most of the pages in your book are blank...

Ahh, that's my book of Busters Caption Competition wins
Nutty: "At least he has a book...":sad:

[NutLoose]

Nutty: "At least he has a book...":sad:


Tis naught but a fleeting pamphlet compared to my mighty tome... :rolleyes:

[NutLoose]

I can't wipe my bum on this, the papers shiny...

[NutLoose]

According to this we have been disbanded..

[NutLoose]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/600x394/image_70cd3b79b845c09c748a2c311a4beaa1816800b2.png

[NutLoose]

It says here, In 13th century the Kremlin was the official residence of supreme power - the center of temporal and spiritual life of the state. The Kremlin of the late 15th – early 16th century is one of the major fortifications of Europe (the stone walls and towers of present day were erected in 1485–1516). It contains an ensemble of monuments of outstanding quality. who knew?.....
Ok switching to UAV's, ready to launch.


..

[sealo0]

Who needs AI I’ve got the book

[Kiltrash]

Skip, can we call for a tanker I have finally gotten to the last page and about to find out whodunit

[Kiltrash]

No, I keep spreading my fingers and the script dont get any bigger...
That's what happens each time he plays with himself as well

[Kiltrash]

Whoo, did you get his number of that speedfreek..
I think it said Darkstar..

[Kiltrash]

LA Centre...Speed Check

[Kiltrash]

So what's the Manual say about a dual engine Flameout ..
Assume the brace position and kiss your arse goodbye.

[NutLoose]

Your'e doing that manspread thing with the wings again, aren't you?.....

[Self loading bear]

His reading capability was rated 2 stars

[Kiltrash]

Great this cruising at ( redacted ) feet at ( redacted ) Mach looking out at the curvature of the Earth on autopilot swotting up on my next Top Gun assignment knowing no Soviet missles can reach this altit.....

[Kiltrash]

Major Gant...Ahh there's the problem..

" Think in Russian. "

[Kiltrash]

Firefox, what a strange name to replace Win95

[Kiltrash]

Wait till he turns to the back page and see's the Angel heading for Heaven...

[Chu Chu]

Figures — still the April edition. And I distinctly asked them to load a new magazine.

[Chu Chu]

#$%@&%# subscription renewal cards!

[Hydromet]

Why are the pages always stuck together after Kilty's been 'reading' them?

[Ascend Charlie]

"Bloody Nutty has painted my visor black again!"

[Buster Hyman]

Oh crap! This Months centrefold is a B52!

[Buster Hyman]

Whaddya mean the Auto Pilots on the MEL?

[Big Pistons Forever]

It's a cook book

My favorite recipe is

1 AMMRAM, 2 sidewinders, and 20 mike mike as a garnish.

[sealo0]

Gosh these Airfix * kits are really realistic these days!

* other kits are available

[Kiltrash]

Harry is glad the Paparazzi can't get pictures of him when he's at work.

[Kiltrash]

Sergie looking up his intakes year book realises just how few of them are left...

[Kiltrash]

Not wishing to appear incompetent the Nav inserts the AA 4miles to the inch road atlas in a suitable cover..

[jolihokistix]

Thinks... "With this cover, they'll NEVER guess what I am really looking at!"

[622]

Hey, theres an article in here about a lady who's married to a pilot but is having an affair with his back seater ...... looks just like your wife!!

[NutLoose]

Hang on, i'll look in my identification book ...it might be a SU-27... No, no wait, it's possibly a Mig-35... No, the intakes are wrong.. so maybe it's a Mig-29.. damn it's got forward canards, it has to be the SU-34, yes that's it skipper it's a SU-34 and that missile it just launched towards us, that must be an ermmmm a R37...or is it an R60, or possibly an R70.......

[Confusious]

By my reckoning we drifted 120 miles off course 4 minutes ago, so using the 1 in 60 rule we should turn left 15 degrees for 18 minutes then turn...errm...allowing for the earth's rotational speed and shift in the magnetic North pole, possibly another two degrees, ahh but that was 90 seconds ago, so errrm...

Shut the f@#k up Goose!

[Chu Chu]

This wasn’t Bloggin’s first mission escorting Lightnings.

[Kiltrash]

Hey Sergie, I have found the perfect place to defect to...very quiet and safe ...recommended in Tripadvisor by a user Treadigaph..and it has a rough field landing zone.

[Kiltrash]

Oh look, the inflight menu.....don't like Spam...

[Kiltrash]

See here, Rishi has to use the booster seat when he gets a flight on Boris Force One for his leaving trip...
Sorry time warp speed skip we FF to 2024 ..

[SLXOwft]

For full pilot's notes please scan this QR code.

[NutLoose]

Ok I think I will start with a nice white wine followed by a buttered chicken starter, hey Skip, what do you want for your starter?

[Buster Hyman]

"Talk to me Goose!"
"Sorry...busy"

[NutLoose]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/600x394/image_b6c32f29c1665adcf99767e645c4a4a7697cf05c.png

[jolihokistix]

“…. then you crack the eggs on the side of the bowl…”

[Kiltrash]

On his last flight as a aviator, he looked forward to starting up a Party Supplies online business from the family home..his daughter would at least have a steady income

[Kiltrash]

When I grow up, I want to be a Pilot....Sorry you can't be both...
( Well someone had to say it )

[Kiltrash]

Being at a loose end this weekend, Max finds a slot he can take up a invite from the Dutch Air Force..

[Wensleydale]

Rule 5: "Always check the Michelin Guide for 5 Star hotels before deciding the diversion airfield".

[Kiltrash]

Nope the manual does not cover our issue, ok I'll call the premium rate help line
" Please hold, all our service agents are busy helping other customers, your call is important to us... Greensleeves "

[sealo0]

Charley, mother calling time to do your homework!

[NutLoose]

Just look at the intakes on that!

[Kiltrash]

Too embarrassed to admit but Sergie hides Trumps book of words of wisdom....in a very small cover jacket..

[Kiltrash]

Having obtained a signed first edition of John's new book, he realise the title was not Erect!..Erect!...
Should have gone to Specsavers

[Kiltrash]

The front seater realised his Navigator had been replaced by AI ...when they actually arrived at the right place at the right time

Or

The rear seater realised his Pilot had been replaced by AI when they actually arrived at the right place at the right time

[Dan Gerous]

"Well it's all automated these days, anyone could do it", said the Navs batman.

[sealo0]

Ant & Dec said this was easy!

[cavuman1]

It says right here: Don't push that bu

- Ed

[Chu Chu]

It was a nice sunny day, so I sat under a canopy and read a magazine.

[Wensleydale]

Misfire Drill for aircrew: check for rounds in the magazine...

[artee]

Hi Guys,

Time to get a new one for the weekend. Some terrific entries.

3rd prize (for topicality) to NutLoose withHey Skipper, I have found a lovely little irrigation canal to put her down in, we could spend the afternoon fishing..

2nd prize to SLXOwft with
For full pilot's notes please scan this QR code.

1st prize to cavuman1 with
It says right here: Don't push that bu

The CST will be delivered to you asap, as soon as we can get an F-16 and a nav who doesn't have his head stuck in a magazine

[cavuman1]

G'Day and Good Onya, artee! Thank you for the award. Let's try this one for the weekend:
https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1168x785/airbus_0d3a9f4c43b8a1c20d8243bfe5f72c39a0ee7773.jpg

- Ed

[artee]

And so are gyrocopters borne

[Confusious]

Hey little fella, let's go make some Airbuses.

[treadigraph]

As ULEZ expansion causes gridlock due to permanently parked cars, Mayor Khan provides a novel solution to get people to work...

[treadigraph]

Transport for London bus services will not be travelling through Croydon town centre in future...

[Big Pistons Forever]

ding ding, Next stop Bakhmut

[Kiltrash]

ITV's Loose Women try to explain in Manspeak just how painfull birth is..

[Kiltrash]

...and they wanted £300m for the people mover at Luton

[Kiltrash]

As the final games of the Premier League approach, plans are afoot as to how to get the celebration bus to the correct end of the country in time for the final whistle...

[Kiltrash]

Stalin's Presidential Limmo goes by route 4102 to be there in front of him

[Kiltrash]

Please remove the roof Ariel, it is tickling my gonads

[Kiltrash]

Having missed this on FR24 Treadigaph rushes to his local pub to drown his sorrows ..

[Kiltrash]

Re-enactment of a F-15 and Police car 'incident ' does not quite go according to plan

[Kiltrash]

Thunderbird 2.. the early years

[Buster Hyman]

Once you've offloaded the Bus, the Base Commander wants a word with you about your low flying exploits!

[NutLoose]

Now that’s what you call a speed hump..

[Chu Chu]

Our passengers get less patient every year. And anyway, have you seen the price of an emergency coach charter in the middle of nowhereistan?

[Dan Gerous]

See if you can syphon of some fuel.
https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1168x785/airbus_0d3a9f4c43b8a1c20d8243bfe5f72c39a0ee7773.jpg

[SLXOwft]

Reavealed at last, the rescue scene that didn't make the final cut of the Italian Job.

[Dan Gerous]

So is this really carrying Putins gold?
Mmm, well yes, sort off
What do you mean?
Well he's now got some nice gold painted lead bars.

[Ascend Charlie]

Russian electrical engineers about to shed the non-essential bus.

[cavuman1]

All of you make it difficult to select a winner from these clever and thought-provoking entries, but I shall try to do so at 2000 UTC 21 May, 2023. Keep 'em coming!

- Ed :ok:

[ricketyback]

Putin - 'I don't know what happened - it started off as a small wart on my bum!'

[Kiltrash]

At Kerch bridge the workers are ferried to the repair site

[Kiltrash]

Loadmaster scratching chin..." Hang on lads, I have a idea "

[Kiltrash]

As casualties build up the means to airlift them to the MASH have to be Supersized

[Ascend Charlie]

"Pull the circuit breaker on the Radalt, Vladimir, it iss giffingk me the schlitz!"

[Wensleydale]

Another hurdle to jump through as an addition annual requirement for the FMT600 is announced.

[fdr]

The Kerch alternate route

[ShyTorque]

Quick throw a bucket of water on them, or before you know it the airfield will be full of baby Chinooks!

[treadigraph]

The rotors on the bus go round and round...

[Kiltrash]

Just act normal Sergei. The Americanskt Spy Satellites will think this is ' business as usual '
​​​​​

[Kiltrash]

As the Emergency Exit windows are only 2 m above ground, President Putin arranged for special transport for the Generals on their ' Jolly Boys Outing '

[Kiltrash]

Well it is token ' Green ' transport. To keep Greta happy

[Kiltrash]

Asylum Seeker flight to Rwanda, Soviet style...
Gives Ms Braverman ideas how to deflect from her own transport issues

[Kiltrash]

The usual suspects of the PPRuNe cap comp get ready for their Jolly Boys Outing to Kyiv. However is is noticed Kiltrash is not with them. He is the winch person on the quick release latch.

[sealo0]

Thomas cook’s first coach excursion to Russia did not look to promising

[jolihokistix]

Now to get those dang passengers upstairs. Draw your pistols and shoot anyone who hesitates!

[Chu Chu]

BRILLIANT STALIN RAID ON BERLIN ENDS IN STRATEGIC FAILURE
Hitler Didn't Miss the Bus

[cavuman1]

All superb entries as usual, but with collective in his armpit, rotor torque at 110%, and wildly stirring the cyclic, Ascend Charlie leaves the station and wins this round with: "Russian electrical engineers about to shed the non-essential bus." Make sure your transfer ticket is punched and all breakers are reset, Sir!

- Ed

[Ascend Charlie]

Thanks Cavuman, lets see how you go with this one:
https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1895x1509/1019_right_turn_2d8296d2535f6f445d3c752935d83bdf7cd92780.jpg

[ricketyback]

Putin-'I don't know what happened - it only started as a small wart on my arse'!

[Buster Hyman]

You know when you get water in your ears after a swim…

[Buster Hyman]

“Get to the chopp….Never mind, I’ll just walk…”

[cavuman1]

It all started with low-level chemtrail dispersal.

- Ed

[fdr]

the small rotor Huey was great for tight LZ's.

[Buster Hyman]

Say Bruce. Are those a couple of French fighters over there, or just a Mirage?

[Kiltrash]

I'm a Celebrity struggle to dislodge particularly scared contestants from parachuting into the jungle

[Kiltrash]

Don't touch that bu...

[Kiltrash]

Little Nellie proves to more maneuverable than the baddies

[jolihokistix]

I dropped my silver lighter!!!

[Kiltrash]

Gimme the controls, I'll show you why we call this a HUEY...

[Buster Hyman]

A bit early on the Roundout there Hoskins!

[Buster Hyman]

What shall we put on the IFE today Skipper? Ride of the Valkyries or Fortunate Son?

[treadigraph]

Hoskins! It's a multi-role helicopter, not multi-roll...

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Hang on skipper, the take-off checklist had a couple of pages stuck together. I'll read the new one: Gyro uncaged?

[NutLoose]

Quick, grab the rescue pod, we're going to need it...

[NutLoose]

What a grey day....

[NutLoose]

Are you sure you're 14 stone?

[622]

I see the Co-Pilots got his new pilots watch then!

[NutLoose]

Slip slidin’ away
Slip slidin’ away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you’re slip slidin’ away

[NutLoose]

There they go again, a right pair of bankers....

[622]

What do you mean Flare ?? ....radalt still says I'm way to high!!

[622]

And that Hoskins is why it's important to switch between the port and Stbd tanks regularily!

[Kiltrash]

Request fly by...
Negative Ghost Rider the pattern is full.
Dang, there goes another coffee and uniform..

[Kiltrash]

When I was with Lynx, this was common
​

[Kiltrash]

Now if only they would hurry up and invent Autorotate

[Kiltrash]

Sorry, Mr Clarkson, you can say MORE POWER as often as you like, but I'm outta here

[Chu Chu]

These ex-Army pilots are great. But they keep thinking they have door gunners.

[Wensleydale]

"If Bader can try it in a Bulldog...."

[Ascend Charlie]

OK, this was only a quick one as I couldn't get my desired photo to load up.

Winner is FDR for:
the small rotor Huey was great for tight LZ's. , which is a nice little observation.

Kilty, you were close to the mark with
​​​​​​​Request fly by...
The pic was taken from the tower at Williamtown as I was doing a fly-by. Mirages in the background and even a Winjeel from 4 Flight FAC.

​​​​​​​Quick, fdr, take the controls before we go inverted...

[Ascend Charlie]

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1324x554/screenshot_2023_03_06_at_9_43_52_pm_3f105754a73457a3ed8e9a90 7f7353272a37bafd.png
While waiting for fdr to post one, here's a quickie.

[artee]

"So where's the ski-jump?"

[fdr]

"Neil, why am I always a$$ end Charlie?"
Buzz

[fdr]

Lets see if we are all mind zombied by Putin yet....


https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1600x1382/coloration_patterns_insects_ea26e9ab66dae1436ed7746bccffc0d6 43e2c351.jpg

[fdr]

The pic was taken from the tower at Williamtown as I was doing a fly-by. Mirages in the background and even a Winjeel from 4 Flight FAC.
symmetric winged Winjeel no less.

[Ascend Charlie]

Social media went berserk at the sight of a moth bearing swastikas on its wings.

[Hydromet]

When de Havilland chose the name for his latest aircraft, he could have picked something a little more aerobatic than the Tiger Moth.

[treadigraph]

No Scruggs, I said I wanted a design that was leopardy, not lepidoptery...

[Kiltrash]

Ann Summers latest design for a Butterfly ...well none knows, as it's camouflage..

[Kiltrash]

GCHQ discover a Russian bug at Chequers.... Later reveal yet another lockdown breach...

[Kiltrash]

At last a use is found for the huge fly in Australia....doubles as a beer bottle opener.

[artee]

Clearly a Ruzzian moth with the 'Z' on the right wing...

[jolihokistix]

The long-anticipated spring offensive could be just a feint, or even a complete moth.

[Ascend Charlie]

The moth took itself off the flying roster for 3 days as it was "the wrong time of the moth".

[Kiltrash]

God I'm tired after eating all that fresh meat in the butchers, just land here on the metal bars illuminated by that nice blue soothing lig..ZZZZZ

[Kiltrash]

Picked the wrong time to fly over the tennis court, just as Nadal served on Match point..

[Kiltrash]

Treadigaph felt cheated when he visited the Moth Museum in Hatfield..

[Kiltrash]

Kiltrash opened his Sporran....and this flew out

[Kiltrash]

Whatdoyoumean, nice picture for a Macro lens?? This is full size

[treadigraph]

Doctor Doolittle's flight to the moon preempted NASA and Neil Armstrong by some considerable remove, with the assistance of saturniidae...

[jolihokistix]

When a butterfly hits a speeding locomotive head-on, does it slow the train for a fraction of a second?

In this week's exciting new episode, we called MothBusters to test it out!

[treadigraph]

Bug Zappa and the Mothers of Invention...

[jolihokistix]

"Come and get it, Godzilla!"

[treadigraph]

Christ, if that thing flaps its wings in the Amazon, there will be a tempest in Hemel Hempstead..

[Kiltrash]

Who are you going to stick that pin in??

[Kiltrash]

Butterfly World at St Alban's presents it's latest find.

[Kiltrash]

Durasic Park 9.... The revenge of the dung beetle

[Kiltrash]

Interrestig find Carruthers, whatever does it eat?
Whoever is sleeping ...

[Kiltrash]

The Russians will only see a small(ish) insect on their screens when we deploy the new Tempest sir .

[Kiltrash]

HOSKINS....next time visually locate the drone before you close down Gatwick....
especially when I finally get the wife to go to a hen night in Ibiza, leaving me and the lads to have a card school.

[Wensleydale]

A Secondary Duty is available for a keen young officer to care of the new 360 Sqn mascot.

[Buster Hyman]

Hoskins decided to bug out...

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

What you can't see from this angle, is that underneath is a very small bus.

[Kiltrash]

If you think this is bug, wait till you see it's mother..

[Kiltrash]

You and whose army?

[Kiltrash]

The US Army deploy its latest drone to Ukraine....doesn't quite inspire the same fear as the MQ-9 does it??

[NutLoose]

Buster orders a round then opens his wallet..

[Kiltrash]

What's the last thing to go through a insects brain when it collides with a train??
it's ar$e

[Kiltrash]

Attenborough voice...
and here we see what happens when only one DNA strand is corrupted...Homo Hoskins

[Kiltrash]

Well-known fact, the only thing on Earth to survive WW3

[fdr]

calling it at 12:00UTC, (for Kiltrash, that's when mickeys hands are clapping above his head and what passes for sunlight in Scotland is observed outside of where there used to be the window before the footy hooligans came by, high on fermented grass remnants from the ruminant component of their 'aggis). :}.

[jolihokistix]

We hapless few are drawn here hypnotically, like moths to a pprune.

[Confusious]

With the markings of a tiger it must be a moth.

[Kiltrash]

Better get in quick. Not long for this world..

[Kiltrash]

In Scotland this is called a Wee Beastie.
or
In Australia this is called Mostly Harmless
Or
In parts of Africa this is called Lunch

[Kiltrash]

...and finally..
ha these hands are never quick enough to catch m....splat

[fdr]

Ove to nutters:
Buster orders a round then opens his wallet..

Special Mention:
Kiltrash opened his Sporran....and this flew out

An Aviation mention for a Mention in Despatches...
The long-anticipated spring offensive could be just a feint, or even a complete moth.

Not lost that the deHavilland angle was picked up on, it was indeed a Tiger Moth... a Tie-Gurr according to Eddie I.
360 SQN RAF does have a moff in the center of it's heraldry, and never flew a deHavilland, it was brit electrics all the way, under QE Mk II.
Ascend may need to have flowers sent; he managed to alienate over 50% of the human inhabitants of planet earth in one go. Well done, Sir!

Giraffe Warning call for Spotting a Tiger
Giraffe warning call for spotting a tiger

[Wensleydale]

[QUOTE=fdr;11440292]

360 SQN RAF does have a moff in the center of it's heraldry, and never flew a deHavilland, it was brit electrics all the way, under QE Mk II.

I forget the species of moth depicted by 360 Sqn, but it has the ability to "jam" the echo-location of predator bats by sending back spurious sound pulses - hence its used by 360, the training jammers of the RAF.

[Kiltrash]

Objection M'lud.
Kiltrash presented the Sporran and Moth before Nutty produced Buster and Wallet...
I damand a re count...said ex press Trump..
Well done Nutty, over to you..

[fdr]

Objection M'lud.
Kiltrash presented the Sporran and Moth before Nutty produced Buster and Wallet...
I damand a re count...said ex press Trump..
Well done Nutty, over to you..

In fairness, Scotty was first to strike, but the after image was resulting in vague malaise;
Nuts didn't require administration of antacid!

England 1: Scotland 0

Consolation prize, you can keep Prez #45 for as long as extradition takes.

[NutLoose]

Blimey…. Ok try


https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x800/image_9ae6841d8f03148c6a4201f21febc275fd3ef319.jpeg

[cavuman1]

Ground control to Major Tom Tom.

- Ed

[sealo0]

Here you are dear I’ve done the washing and ironing for you!

[Buster Hyman]

Don't rub it any more please Ma'am. It's hard enough to hold it as is!

[Buster Hyman]

No, I can't hear them...and how did you know my name was Fernando?

[Buster Hyman]

GIVE IT BACK B**CH!!!!!

[Buster Hyman]

Yes, I know it says ER, but there's a process to change it. You can't just rip it down!

[Ascend Charlie]

"Surely you can tighten your grip, Captain?"

"That's GROUP Captain, and don't call me Shirley!"

[treadigraph]

Shove it where Ma'am? And what about your hat boxes?

[Confusious]

Yes, this one feels perfect, now let's head off to the barracks.

[Kiltrash]

Yes , i'm just the stand in and HMTQ is a lot smaller so do hold the colours a lot lower

[Buster Hyman]

Don't worry Group Captain, this is merely a Markle check. One can't be too careful these days eh...

[Kiltrash]

RSM ...Take your heels off, your marking my parade ground, you ' orrible little man, Hoskins.

[Kiltrash]

Manchester City announce a surprise guest to present the football club with the Premier League flag.

[Kiltrash]

The Queen was surprised when Erika Elenak burst out the drums. Especially as Liz was only a last minute stand in for her husband .

[jolihokistix]

Mmm... yes, yes, very nice. Tell me, what do you do with these poles when you're finished with them?

[Kiltrash]

Owning to Government cut backs, Trooping the colour has had to be trimmed back Ma"am

[Kiltrash]

The Queen apprehends the miscreants that stole the flag off the roof of Buckingham Palace.

[Kiltrash]

Camila, on her first solo engagement, finds she is not as popular as the spin doctors tried to make out she is...

[Hydromet]

Yes, that would make a lovely bedspread for Charles & Camilla. Could you please have it wrapped and delivered to them.

[Kiltrash]

Yes, very nice, but do you do it in Tartan??

[Kiltrash]

Hymie, come here quick, never mind the quality, feel the width..

[ShyTorque]

Drum kit, yes, it's yours.

Flag? Alright, if you must.

But you're only having my sword if you tap me on the shoulder with it first!

[treadigraph]

I'm sorry Ma'am, I think I misheard that, it's just like the King's what?

[Kiltrash]

...and as i'm just setting out for a social 4 ball....

Quick put it back, Kiltrash is just comming up the 18th and needs a birdie for the club championship.

[Buster Hyman]

"....err, well, um...I don't really know a lot about Tassels Ma'am, but seeing as you're rather fond of them, I'll get Colour Sergeant Nutty to have a word. He's really into that sort of thing..."

[Chu Chu]

In my day, they wouldn't let a queen near the RAF.

[fdr]

"Ma'am, the IWM was rather hoping to keep the standard on display, surely picnic blankets can be found at 'arrods..."

[Wensleydale]

It stands for 'er indoors.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Ohh Brilliant, my new drapes have arrived !

[Kiltrash]

Groupie stops Phil Collins from a rendition of ' In the Air Tonight '

[Kiltrash]

" We Don't Need Another Hero " staff Sargent Turner.

[Kiltrash]

At RAF Scampton, the AirForce find an unlikely sponsor stopping the Government selling off the base to Asylum Speakers

[MPN11]

“Please hurry up, the Guard are flagging.”

[Dan Gerous]

Mmm, well it's alright, but I was really after something in a red.


https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x800/image_9ae6841d8f03148c6a4201f21febc275fd3ef319.jpeg

[Kiltrash]

When I was younger I was a cheerleader over at West Ham .. here let me show you how it's done...hold my pink gin and tonic...

[Kiltrash]

Congratulations PO PPRuNe for seeing through your Basic Flying Course, as top of your group....but tell me what happened to the others of your intake?

[Kiltrash]

My your gloves are so white, tell me what do you clean them with, look mine are all brown and wrinkley.

[Dan Gerous]

Are you trying to drum up some sales for your flagging flag business?

[MPN11]

LAC Hoskins was on a charge for not lining up the drums properly.

[fitliker]

Far more effective than the wire brush and detol ma’am for getting those malingering around the sick bay back to the regiment . If the drums don’t get them moving to the beat , then the big scarey stick creates the required bowel movements to clear the malaise ma’am . The NHS should take note and save a fortune on pharmaceuticals . Nobody pulling a fake sickie round here if they are still in the ward after we parade through they are truly sick or dead in bed .

[Buster Hyman]

Unfortunately Ma'am, after the cost of the Funeral & the Coronation, me & Bert here are all you're getting for the Trooping of the Colour!

[Chu Chu]

And you're quite certain it was here this morning Ma'am?

Sergeant! Assemble the men! We need to find out who took the Queen's shilling.

[Kiltrash]

There Tessa, I have been told to give you this, and if you score a bullseye on Harry, there's a Royal Pardon in it for you.

[Kiltrash]

Not really concentrating HMTQ descided at this point she wanted Scrambled Eggs for tea..

[Kiltrash]

So why are there on Battle Honours on your standard or drums???
We're the TA your Majesty...
( TA is the Tartan Army )

[Big Pistons Forever]

Ahhh So this is the flag AVM Wigston disgraced.

[Kiltrash]

Ah. this flag is oversized, take it back and trim it down to regulations. Don't want to hurt the feelings of height deficient people...

[Dan Gerous]

FFS, just give her the damn thing and we can knock off for the day.

[Wensleydale]

No thank you. I only talk to pilots...