Caption Competition Mk III

[cavuman1]

"I say", exclaimed the chief safety inspector breathlessly, "she really is rather well-flanged!"

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

At Otterburn the annual ' who can cross the valley in the silliest way ' challenge reached new heights

[Kiltrash]

Trouble was found when using the 1940's Landrover designed to the height of a normal man, was used in 2020

[Kiltrash]

Sit down man...Do you want to get hit in the face with a midge??

[Kiltrash]

Sliding down the wires was the simple bit when it was discovered the engine was not strong enough to get back up the slope however Algy, on secondment from the RAF, offered to get out and push...

[Wensleydale]

"I think that we might be going a bridge too far!"

[Kiltrash]

Officer standing shouting to the 2 men on the far bank...
" I say is this the way to Mornington Crescent? ? "

[Wensleydale]

"Well it does stop the Rhinos from charging us all the time."

[Kiltrash]

In London the Commuter find it all to easy to get on tbe wrong line when theres no signage....( I know been there done that )

[NutLoose]

It’s one of those new fangled suspension bridges.

[Kiltrash]

All right everyone, closing down ftom Social Media while I celebrate the New Year, hopefully better this one 😑
So may I wish you all a great time and I sign off with

"" There told you we should have turned left at Trafalgar Square, but no no no the Driver knows best. .. ""

Ps hope Buster is fine

[cattletruck]

Commander out the back: "Ok, get ready to slow down".
Driver: "Full braking was engaged just after launch, sir."

[CAEBr]

The position of weferee for the inter wegimental dual tug'o'war competition was turning out to be more hazardous than Wupert expected

[Chu Chu]

Driver (stopping vehicle): Okay, time to dismount.

Keep driving, Hoskins. We're still over the river.

You can't fool me, Sir. The cables are exactly 0.3 KM long, and odometers don't lie.

[Martin the Martian]

Hang on a minute lads, I've got a great idea.

[Dan Gerous]

When I joined the Pay Corps, I didn't realise this was how they carried out wire transfers.

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1089x775/9ed5beeb_00ba_4c9e_a249_8e61445ed64b_000178b9dc317fc71c234e5 ab877a627aa9d78d2.jpeg

[Dan Gerous]

FFS hurry up, the power will be back on in a minute!

[Self loading bear]

Obviously the Chain of Command had trouble to get everybody thinking along the same lines.

[andytug]

"Hoskins, when I said we need to get on to our own lines pronto...this was not what I meant!!"

(HNY all :) )

[fitliker]

Any Rigger will tell you Dual Blondells may be clever , but they are not as quick or convenient as a Skyhook .

[fitliker]

Not wanting to alarm anyone , but even the cordite is sweating on this job

[Wensleydale]

The old bridge to Wheatstone.

[NutLoose]

At least we found a use for that officer, he makes a grand footman standing on the back

[NutLoose]

We can’t go on, there are leaves on the lines.

[NutLoose]

Ok Smithers the officers are crossing, turn the juice back on the high tension cables

[treadigraph]

When Hoskins laid a minefield across the track leading to the pub and didn't map them, it was a real spot of luck having Heath Robinson in the regiment...

[Chu Chu]

Brilliant improvised crossing, Hoskins. Where did you get the cable?

Oh, I just borrowed a little from the bridge around the next bend.

[NutLoose]

When I said we need a cablecar this wasn’t what I had in mind.

[Kiltrash]

Hi Tension power cable inspections will be a lot easier when they invent the Helicopter
or
Train track inspections...

What do you mean this is a train track ...Quick pedal faster the 10o'clock Flying Scotsman is comming trough...

[Kiltrash]

Ah Blondin, we'll get off now so you can complete the walk on your own

[Kiltrash]

Having escaped from the baddies C-17, 007, Q, M and Moneypenny were glad to have their fall arrested at the Arecibo Telescope...

[ORAC]

Scores on the doors - pending Buster reappearing and reclaiming his turn….

1st - Dan_Gerous

“When I joined the Pay Corps, I didn't realise this was how they carried out wire transfers.”

2nd - Chu_Chu

“That's the "wire guided" sorted. Now we just need to bolt on the rocket launcher.”

3rd - NuLoose

“Ok Smithers the officers are crossing, turn the juice back on the high tension cables”

[Buster Hyman]

I have just emerged from a medically induced Coma. Nutty awarding me first place was all too much! (Must've been painful for him too!)

Actually, I was a tad busy dealing with some Festive Fires etc so my apologies... and genuine gratitude for the well wishes too! :ok:

Please carry on Dan. My entry would've been "Dammit! I only volunteered because they said there'd be no strings attached!"

[NutLoose]

It’s alright, I’ve written it into my New Years resolutions not to make that mistake again :p

[Kiltrash]

Well on New Years Day there is one piece of good news, welcome back Buster.....

However
Dan on the far side look forward to the Pony Express getting through the Badlands with the Trophy ....well done sir

[NutLoose]

What’s the good news?

[Dan Gerous]

Thanks ORAC,.

Let's have some fun with Tank Girl.

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/950x534/prune_12__df27589038b18b4f0d3937e6a4265092a1a5bd02.jpg

[NutLoose]

Man below in turret… can anyone smell fish?

[OMAAbound]

Thanks ORAC,.

Let's have some fun with Tank Girl.

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/950x534/prune_12__df27589038b18b4f0d3937e6a4265092a1a5bd02.jpg

“Once the cameras go home I have to go home an cook my husbands tea”

OMAA

[OMAAbound]

Thanks ORAC,.

Let's have some fun with Tank Girl.

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/950x534/prune_12__df27589038b18b4f0d3937e6a4265092a1a5bd02.jpg

After the taliban took over Afghanistan, The British Military chose the wrong week to carry out the yearly ‘FAMILY JOB SWAP’

OMAA

[NutLoose]

Fear Naught isn’t our motto love, it’s all about government cuts to the tank force and our fear about how many we will end up with.

[NutLoose]

It’s Challenger, not Challengeher and your names not Anneka.

[NutLoose]

Apparently the bridge ahead is a couple of wires.

[Chu Chu]

Oh no! Hoskins is navigating again.

That's okay. This time the tank commander will be willing to stop and ask directions.

[Hydromet]

Tell the driver that he's going too fast, he's too close to the tank in front, he's taking the corners too sharply and if he doesn't drive more quietly I shall get out and walk.

[NutLoose]

Why are you looking backwards?

I’m the Navigator, we’re else should I be looking?

[NutLoose]

It’s all well and good, but why are the mirrors all the way down there on the front of the tank, how can I be expected to check my make up and hair?

[NutLoose]

These bloody big colourful flags make us stand out like a sore thumb in this snowy landscape, at least the French over on our flank appear to have recognised the problem and are flying white ones….



​​​​​​…

[NutLoose]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/950x534/image_46d624c0c0239f286b969bcef841b82064727354.jpeg

[Ascend Charlie]

"...and I christen this submarine....what's its name, driver?"
"Its a ferkin' TANK!"
"Oh, OK, I name thee Fur Kin Tank! Funny name for a submarine..."

[Kiltrash]

Right all sorted ready for the January sales

[Kiltrash]

General....Captain what's that Woman reporter doing in the tank .....
Captain ...Well sir it's the new all inclusive equal job opportunity LGBTQ+ initiative by the Defence Secretary .....going out live on the BBC and Sky
General....Oh. .I thought it was that awful Janet Street Porter person...carry on...

[Kiltrash]

Mrs Hymen finally gets her husbands nemesis in her sights

[Kiltrash]

Obviously pleased with her " Virgin Experience " Tank driving gift from her husband...
Well she cannot do too much damage to that he reasoned...
Later that statement was proved. ..well wrong...

[Kiltrash]

This?? Well I don't need any of that reverse parking malarkey at the shops, I just leave it wherever I want...
Aren't you worried about the Traffic Wardens???
No the don't have wheel clamps big enough...

[Kiltrash]

....the flashing Orange light???
well at weekends we use it as a garbage truck...

[Kiltrash]

All went well till the '"Jump over 10 London Busses " show at Earls Court

[ShyTorque]

“I thought you said you were desperate for a go in the turret, not the toilet!”

[treadigraph]

I do hope we aren't going to cross that wire bridge in the last competition, Captain...

No minister but we are going to cross a truss bridge later on, they are nice and strong!

Are you suggesting I'm fat?

[ORAC]

“Target, Boris, 30 right, range 1000m, HESH, fire when ready and say your finger slipped…..”

[treadigraph]

Telegraph: Minister goes out on patrol in a tank
Guardian: Sinister goings on in a petrol tanker
Sun: What a pair of bazookers!

[Buster Hyman]

Why is he swearing at me?
It's ok, he's just got Turrets Syndrome.

[OMAAbound]

Thanks ORAC,.

Let's have some fun with Tank Girl.

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/950x534/prune_12__df27589038b18b4f0d3937e6a4265092a1a5bd02.jpg

In light of the Government budget cuts, the British Army has now taken to insuring women as the main driver as a way of saving a few quid.

OMAA

[Kiltrash]

Mrs Treadigraph pops out to Croydon for a pint of milk....
Mr T wonders why she bought him a tank instead...what it is with women and Shopping ??

​​​​​

[Kiltrash]

The PLA show off their latest runabout.....
( Peckham Liberation Army )

[Kiltrash]

The latest Jenny Bond action opening sequence is finally finished.

[Chu Chu]

How do you explain your string of successes at the tracked vehicle exercises?

It was easy. The men all have one-track minds.

[ORAC]

Tanks for the mammaries
Even though they weren't so great….

[treadigraph]

No Minister, no... the German Army had Panzers in the war, they weren't pansies... well, perhaps a few...

[treadigraph]

Mrs Treadigraph pops out to Croydon for a pint of milk....
Mr T wonders why she bought him a tank instead...what it is with women and Shopping ??

​​​​​

In Croydon these days, I'm not sure a tank is enough... (ah the days of John Gleddon from Norbury and his tank...)

[Buster Hyman]

It was bound to happen. Trump has weaponised the Karens!

[treadigraph]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/950x534/prune_12__df27589038b18b4f0d3937e6a4265092a1a5bd02.jpg

[Big Pistons Forever]

I SAID it's obvious this thing was designed by a man. It's is crude, bulky, ugly, noisy, and uncomfortable !

[Kiltrash]

Now do you understand Def Sec, the men do need fluffy seats and soft music when in battle

[Kiltrash]

Between making meals for the men, the chef is allowed up for a spot of fresh air..

[Kiltrash]

Helen takes a test spin for the new term school run in Chelsea, in her new improved tractor

[Kiltrash]

The Minister for Women and Equalities decided not to have any ( additional ) protection for her first meeting with the Prime Minister

[Kiltrash]

In an attempt to sell the fuzzy wuzzies British Tanks, the Foreign Secretary shows how easy they are to drive, even females can do a three point turn in them...
Yes Minister, but can you comment on reports that ones designed for the Italian Market will have one forward gear and six reverse?

[Kiltrash]

The morning TV weather presenter agreed to any location to do the forecast. .... but this was beyond a joke having spurned the producers advances

[Kiltrash]

All right Your Highness were are at Woking Pizza Express and the paparazzi did not twig, thought we were only on maneuvers in Aldershot. ...

[Wensleydale]

My husband rang and told me to fill up the tank....

[Chu Chu]

Satan discovers the reason for the sudden cold snap.

[unmanned_droid]

Well Maggie did it.....that made her look good...

[NutLoose]

Ohh ohhhh ohhhh ohhhhhhh God does this thing vibrate…. Oooooohhhhhhhhhh

[Buster Hyman]

Uber Eats: Liverpool

[NutLoose]

I can feel something warm moving up my inside leg Sgt…
ohh that’ll be Hoskins pet ferret love..

[Kiltrash]

Yes Mr foreign power tank sales person, so much easier to see out off, we'll take 100 of them. ..the men will be pleased the Government bought them, so much nicer then those stuffy British ones...and so much cheaper ...
Oh the gun is a ' extra ' never mind we will just make sure not to go to war with anyone then..

[Kiltrash]

Yes Mr Cummins, we're at Barnard Castle, nothing wrong with your eyesight, just need to apologise to that nice lady whose pet cat we ran over.

[Buster Hyman]

Oh, I see the Earth moved for you Ma'am!

[Kiltrash]

When the call went out for tank (er) drivers I applied

[ORAC]

Liz pondered how she would persuade the FCDO Permanent Secretary that spending £25K on a “headscarf with matching accessories” at the Thatcher Memorabilia Charity Auction was a justifiable expense….

[cattletruck]

What, no hi-viz vest! The army needs to catch up with the rest of British industry, therefore I shall report this.

[Chu Chu]

Hurry up and replace the road wheels! This is getting heavy.

[NutLoose]

What do you think? I bought it on my parliamentary expenses to level my drive.

[NutLoose]

It doesn’t appear to be listed under the congestion charges so I bought it to commute around London and take the kids to school..

[MPN11]

Background Music ... # Tanks for the mammaries ...

[Kiltrash]

Man Utd Manager asked his chauffeur for protection on the way home

[ShyTorque]

Oooooh! This is even better than my spin drier!

[Kiltrash]

Normally we let the driver out the car before we drive over it ma'am
....and so the Conservative Leadership Battle started

[Kiltrash]

Abbie, the current Top Gear Test Driver, is not impressed with the boys latest modification. .

[Kiltrash]

Liz. ..Captain why is the target getting smaller? ?
Capt...That's another one of ours, Your facing the wrong way.. ( Great Gunner she would make )

[treadigraph]

Oooooooh! Ooooh! Your driver's very good at multi-tasking isn't he?

[fitliker]

Wait until we get to the rumble strips , you are in for a treat .
Goes from moist to monsoon in about three seconds in here and that is just the fellas

[NutLoose]

Why do I need to wear a helmet, I thought this thing had hair suspension

[Buster Hyman]

The last thing Hoskins remembers, was that he mentioned the Battle of the Bulge....

[Kiltrash]

....a natural step up to command the QNLZ

[OMAAbound]

Live Scenes as Virginia Giuffre, previously Roberts, arrives at court in her battle against Prince Andrew

OMAA

[Dan Gerous]

Right I think it time to let Liz go and get on with her job, as she's got a meeting with the cheese eating surrender monkeys.

Runner up is OMAA with “Once the cameras go home I have to go home an cook my husbands tea”

And the winner is Fitliker with Wait until we get to the rumble strips , you are in for a treat .
Goes from moist to monsoon in about three seconds in here and that is just the fellas (A phenomenon all to familiar to those of us who commuted by truck from the Rangatira to Stanley airfield circa 82/83).

Over to you Fitliker.

[fitliker]

I quite liked the hair suspension one as well .

Open house ?

[Kiltrash]

Normally the honour falls to the runner up so where are you OMAA?

[Kiltrash]

If i may offer up.... my picture from RAF Hendon Museum

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1124/20211102_113335_a7f1d77136fb288c7734d59942a04d30aa2ff8d3.jpg

[ShyTorque]

I'm good at my job, so of course they call me "Spot".

[OMAAbound]

Sorry all, I had a heavy night celebrating my runner-up position.

I give you this one, look forward the comments

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1300x1023/prime_minister_tony_blair_c_and_minister_for_trade_and_indus try_peter_mandelson_r_talk_to_a_test_pilot_while_inspecting_ the_cockpit_of_741236155_2824ff6c39dcb9962b347b466343be1bc3c f4735.jpeg

OMAA

[MPN11]

If i may offer up.... my picture from RAF Hendon Museum

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1124/20211102_113335_a7f1d77136fb288c7734d59942a04d30aa2ff8d3.jpg

I’m another Sopwith Pup … Daddy was very active in the RFC.

[Hydromet]

"When I said I wanted to be stuffed and mounted, this isn't what I meant."

[NutLoose]

There's Brown, can you waste him?

[NutLoose]

The dog is not the competition, I wish he would stop gazumping the winners!!!!!!! :ugh:

Omaa was the runner up.

[Dan Gerous]

I can see it all now, peace and harmony in the Middle East, fame, fortune and dare I say it, even a Knighthood. Go get em Hoskins.

[Kiltrash]

Happy to bow out...( winner did declare Open House )

Boris designs his hair on one of his hero's quiff...

[fitliker]

Sorry fellas , I did not want to slow the fun down

That jack russel is just about the right size for the navigator closet on the Vulcan .

Why do so many Prime ministers use Johnny Rottens hair stylist ?

[MPN11]

Mandelson … “Are you sure this is wise, Tony?”

[Kiltrash]

Pilot....No sonny it's a Fighter JET...That's why there no big whirly thing at the front. .. ( geez hel'll never amount to anything....) Later proved right

[Ascend Charlie]

"Where did all these "A"s come from?"
"From the biggest A-hole around."

[Kiltrash]

Not a caption..
Hi Nutty, tried to send you a DM but it said you had chosen not to receive DM's ....Probably my settings 😑


Now back to your normal programming

[treadigraph]

Apparently I am a dead ringer for Michael Sheen - er, Mandy, what roles can I expect going forward...?

[cynicalint]

In the 'spot-the-brain' competition, one 'a' was spot on, but the others all missed by at least 6 feet.

[cynicalint]

"There I was, at the despatch box at question time, upside-down like this with nothing on the clock except the makers name!"

[cynicalint]

"This is IT!, the path to my knighthood!"

[Ascend Charlie]

(Man top right)
"If Blair moves back just a little, I can shoot him from my shoulder holster without spattering the pilot..."

[Big Pistons Forever]

Yup I am the man responsible for forcing the RAF to buy this POS...good times !

[cattletruck]

Henchman to pilot: Well you did ask for a bit of slime to fill the void between the front windscreen and the fuselage.

[fitliker]

Quick dash round the cabbage patch at .9 Mach , leave the window open , that might straighten your hair a bit . If that doesn’t work there are still a few gallon buckets of brylcream left at the back of the hanger as used by pilots flying taildraggers out of sod fields .

[Kiltrash]

Despite Governmental promising that ' Lessons would be learnt' the PM still visits successfull British factories and projects.....just before closing them down

[Kiltrash]

At Farnborough the PM sees the new wizz bang BRITISH weapons and looks to a little country to have a war with.......well it worked for Maggie win a second term he reasoned

[Buster Hyman]

Well you’re the PM! YOU tell them which photo we’re using!

[Kiltrash]

So it's only a single seater? Wow... take a note to the MOD Peter . .. for every Phantom they scrap they have the crew for two of these....now what's the crew needed for a Carrier??

[cavuman1]

a.l.a.m.y.
another lazy arse mumbling yammer

- Ed

[Ascend Charlie]

"A night hood? Isn't that a condom?"
"Yes, and they only give them to d1cks like you!"

[treadigraph]

My ego's writing cheques your body can't cash...

[Wensleydale]

[Thinks] Must bring in the Human Rights Act - after all, Cherie is the best paid Human Rights lawyer in the Country......................................

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

What do you mean I can't drive it?? Boris got to drive the helicopter!

[Kiltrash]

Yes but will this get me in the Phantom Friday Thread??
PM, it's not ALL about you, said Peter

[MPN11]

“Can we call this a business meeting”

[Kiltrash]

Mandelson to Pilot ...

Here's your Wingman, please excuse the windblown hair...

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1300x1023/prime_minister_tony_blair_c_and_minister_for_trade_and_indus try_peter_mandelson_r_talk_to_a_test_pilot_while_inspecting_ the_cockpit_of_741236155_2824ff6c39dcb9962b347b466343be1bc3c f4735.jpeg

[Self loading bear]

Putin to Tony:
”Was that your wife starring in that witch Blair project?”

[treadigraph]

You can carry two laser guided bombs? Right, I'll give you the coordinates for John Prescott and Gordon Brown's homes for today's mission. Tomorrow...

[cynicalint]

Is that the plate for the in-flight catering?

[Big Pistons Forever]

Tony Blair

Well I am sure your Typhoon is impressive but I once got a ride in the back seat of a Jaguar B !

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

If you hold your hand like this, and concentrate really hard, you can use The Force to make it fly!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Not a caption: What's the deal with the gap along the bottom of the windscreen?

[MPN11]

Not a caption: What's the deal with the gap along the bottom of the windscreen?
Is a Caption …“Ah, Tony, that’s the fresh air inlet. You said you would bring fresh air to Politics, once I told you to say that.”

[NutLoose]

I hear there’s a bit of rivalry between you and the Brown jobs, I have that problem too.

[Kiltrash]

Wooden mockup presented at Farnborough to show what the real one would look like in production.....The Aircraft is the only real thing in this picture

[OMAAbound]

I'll keep it short this week,

i declare the winner to be

Cynicalint with - "This is IT!, the path to my knighthood!"

and the runner up

MPN11 - “Can we call this a business meeting”

I would have gone with something like "Do you think this is a good idea Tony, illegal wars aren't for everybody you know!"

OMAA

[cynicalint]

Thank you OMAAbound!
As the last aircraft was not real, let's try this one...
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61ZvdbZwZjL._AC_UX569_.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

The new Red Arrows, and all operated by SAC's

[Kiltrash]

At the Ministry of Defence the 2 meter rules during the Christmas Party is taken seriously, however as the night wears on, and the drink flows, the rules go a bit ' soft '

[Kiltrash]

Due to a broken answerphone Ms Delboy found out the hard way the Fancy Dress party had turned into a wake...

[fitliker]

Aviation themed fashionable fart sack , collects up to three days of farts or two hours of MRE’s farts to be sold on the internet at inflated prices to the pervert punters and coprophilia enthusiasts . Jars sold separately.

[Wensleydale]

A replacement for the Hawk T1 has been procured for 100 Sqn to use in their Red Air role.

[Wensleydale]

The RAF Board panic as they realise that they need a gender neutral term for "The Red Baron".

[Wensleydale]

A new security initiative for the Royal Family has been unveiled. In case of any incident, the VIP dons the new protection outfit and declares Purple Airspace...everyone within two miles has to vacate the area.

[OMAAbound]

Boris Johnson reveals plans for cost cutting in the RAF, may have gone a little too far!

OMAA

[ShyTorque]

Woohoo, guess where the joystick is!

[fitliker]

Captain Tigger says ; Lower your gear and flaps , it is going to be a bouncy trouncy flouncy pouncy jumpy bumpy clumpy thumpy landing , brace brace brace

[Ascend Charlie]

It's only a little plane, with short wings, for those short legs.

[Kiltrash]

Invited to Ally Pally to see the ' " Arows " Mrs Hoskins tries to upstage her husband

[Kiltrash]

In an attempt to re connect with her husband , Mrs Ward welcomes him back at the dockside

[Kiltrash]

All went well till the presenter pinned the " Blue Peter " badge to the outfit....

[treadigraph]

You don't need to shoot a let down, Hoskins, just pull the bung out.

[Kiltrash]

Does my bomb look big on this??

Someone had to say it

[ORAC]

Overall the aircraft costume only earned a distinguished mention, but the flaps were awarded best in class….

[Kiltrash]

Twiggy tries to hide her unplanned pregnancy

[Chu Chu]

Dirigible is to blimp as airplane is to . . .

[OMAAbound]

Nobody believed me when I told everyone my ex-wife was plane crazy!

OMAA

[MPN11]

Defence Procurement unusually suffers for under-inflation.

[ORAC]

Red Bull gives you wings!!

[Kiltrash]

The future of personnal transportation takes flight

[MPN11]

Susie’s fun contraceptive was really effective.

[Wensleydale]

What to wear to a Red Zeppelin concert........

[Dan Gerous]

Wings on fanny pads, whatever next?

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61ZvdbZwZjL._AC_UX569_.jpg

[NutLoose]

Is that a propellor or wishful thinking?

[NutLoose]

We’re selling them as Covid two metre distance aids

[Kiltrash]

Well there I was flying along minding my own busyness at 200' on a course of 120 mag at a speed of 99 knots with another aircraft 25 foot above me on an identical course and speed. And BANG a ejector seat i did not know I had unexpectedly went off...

[Wensleydale]

QinetiQ staff demonstrate the latest RAF lifejacket.

[Self loading bear]

Unfortunately this unique offering cannot be delivered with amenities like matching rubber threads for the landing gear.

or

Red Baron von Munchhausen.

[Local Variation]

Poundland respond to Amazon's Jeff Bezos with their own sub-orbital spaceflight programme.

[cavuman1]

Comes complete with two knobs to tune the navcom radios.

- Ed

[cavuman1]

Oh No! EFATO! The inexperienced pilot extends and flaps her arms in the vain hope that she'll get a little more gliding distance.

- Ed

[NutLoose]

Where are the armourers when I need a download…

[NutLoose]

Stoppings easy, I have toe brakes.

[NutLoose]

Due to recent spending cuts the RAF trial CPX Aircraft.

[NutLoose]

For extra thrust I drink Guinness, it always makes me fart.

[Buster Hyman]

Prime Minister, after the AUKUS business, I don't think the French are taking our RFT's seriously anymore.

[Chu Chu]

The unique preloaded propeller inherently prevents windmilling in the unlikely event of engine failure.

[Kiltrash]

RAF recruitment Centre looks to increase the Fluffy Wuffy percentage

[Kiltrash]

The Russian Spys report to Moscow the latest Crew / Aircraft combo. After a particularly harrowing experience with LSD at the LSE...

[Kiltrash]

The North Korean display team set out to impress Young Fat Won

[Chu Chu]

The biplane had to be invented somehow.

[Chu Chu]

Hoskins' sister builds her wingsuit hours.

[NutLoose]

Challenge Anneka suffers budget cuts.

[NutLoose]

Look, you won't be able to fully inflate it until you shut your mouth and build up some back pressure.

[NutLoose]

So that's were my beer goggles went.

[Kiltrash]

All went well with firing the Brownings through the Propellor arc...Just wish someone would hurry up and invent Interruptor gear

[Kiltrash]

Christmas panto brings Alladin carpet into the 21st centuary...Oh no they haven't ...

[Kiltrash]

Having filled with Hydrogen a world altitude record into the clouds was achieved for the Fancy Dress ( Submarines ) catagory

[Kiltrash]

Mistrusting Airline Supplied life jackets, Utuber offers to demonstrate your own carry on one. Almost invisible except for the most stringent inspection...

[Self loading bear]

Comes with 4 tins of beans for FATO

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/569x687/cd1e057e_6042_4a5f_b2d1_b90b37a5f65c_2775bae73bb5f5d3005ccfd 33045a60367b8aef8.jpeg

[Buster Hyman]

For extra lift, you can stretch your arms and make it a Bi plane! (Not that there’s anything wrong with that)

[NutLoose]

I said Fokker, so take that smile off your face.

[NutLoose]

Does my bomb look big in this?

[Big Pistons Forever]

It's my INFATE-A-CRATE !

[Big Pistons Forever]

This is the closest Prince Andrew will ever get to a RAF aircraft....

[Kiltrash]

GCHQ devised a cunning plan to get the male populace look up, just as the Chemtrail Dispenser fly over

[622]

Doris was very pleased she went for the upgraded model with the extra long propellor shaft!

[NutLoose]

Batteries not included...........................

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Must be a turbo-prop. Makes a strange whistling noise when running.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

And that, young Timmy, is why it's called the cockpit.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Why Tony was smiling so much in the last pic...He gets to inspect this one next.

[Kiltrash]

Ms Alice, Slack looks forward to the next invite to join the Mile High Club.

[622]

...and to really lower the tone :E ....

.... a strap on that would take Doris to heaven and back!

[cavuman1]

Since when do women wear the suspenders and the beer goggles?

- Ed

[cynicalint]

Calling tomorrow at 1800!

[NutLoose]

Blue note? Damn, I’ve left my knickers off..

[Stockportcounty]

Ooohh Errr, can you take the GPU up a notch ?

[Chu Chu]

She swore she would always be true. Yet somehow the row of flags below the cockpit kept growing.

[Self loading bear]

Another of Boris’ party guests:
”Bring your own buzz”

[Ascend Charlie]

Boris' party "crasher"?

[Kiltrash]

...and may I introduce Ms Go Nightly, your Highness, Your flying helmet and Celery is on the stand over there

[622]

Q had to admit there had been some budget cuts at MI6 and had forced a re design of little Nellie !

[kar42]

MoD Official ; "Damn! We've missed the opportunity to re-equip the Red Arrows. Amazon only have 2 left at £24.99."

[Wensleydale]

We don't quite know what to call it: this one doesn't exactly spit fire!

[NutLoose]

A big firke orf watch is so yesterday..

[Self loading bear]

Nice outfit , but be careful
Pr Andrew likes to gets his hands on the bums of every loose flying bird.

[Kiltrash]

Having seen Under Siege 1992 the Generals thought this would be a nice touch comming out the Great Leaders Birthday Cake.

[cynicalint]

Some excellent replies but...
Runner-up Wenslydale with:-
"What to wear to a Red Zeppelin concert"

But the Winner is ORAC with:-
"Overall the aircraft costume only earned a distinguished mention, but the flaps were awarded best in class"

CST inflated and soaring its way to you.

[ORAC]

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/818x649/image_da22cf390c8b8595d12851f813c6c0d1eb68a64d.jpeg

[cynicalint]

Inflatable red aircraft tries to take off without its pilot visible

[MPN11]

New USN Drone Tanker catches fire during take-off.

[Ascend Charlie]

The quarantine anti-mosquito spraying was taken seriously.

[Kiltrash]

Captain on the Bridge..
Last time we did this was with a white E Type.

[treadigraph]

I say chaps, Skipper's looking for his skateboard. Has anyone seen it?

[Kiltrash]

Captain, you do know if this is successful we're all redundant...

[Dan Gerous]

Smoke on the water, dah dah dah, dah, dah, dah dah,

[Kiltrash]

Little known safety feature on the USN's CVN carriers. If the reactor SCRAMS it self ejects ....

[ShyTorque]

Prince Andrew gets VIP transport to the USA.

[Chu Chu]

The new wind-over-deck indicator was effective, but somewhat impractical.

[Chu Chu]

After the visit to Rio, the ship's doctor demands to inspect the crew's missiles. . . and soon wishes he'd stuck with medical terms.

[NutLoose]

Damn, premature Chemtrail release….. we must obey…. We must obey….

[NutLoose]

Well Sir, best guess, it’s either misfired or we’ve got a fecking new Pope.