Caption Competition Mk III

[MPN11]

Goodness me, Letitia, your baked bean and brussels sprout diet may be doing you good but it's a nightmare for the rest of us!
Yes, Doris, but it does keep the flies away.

[Wensleydale]

Time for the girls to change out of muffti and back into uniform, so here is the winning entry:


What time is it?

"Eight belles"

Well done 622. The CST will arrive by picket boat within the next three weeks.

[622]

Thank you Wensleydale,

But I think I have had my fair share of success over the last couple of weeks….so I declare Open house for the first one who can get a picture in!

[Confusious]

Thank you Wensleydale,

But I think I have had my fair share of success over the last couple of weeks….so I declare Open house for the first one who can get a picture in!
622, that's very kind of you. So that it's not a free for all and that a newbie like me doesn't jump in, how about Wenseydale choosing his next favourite as the winner?

[NutLoose]

Confusious jump in, you will often find those of us that have won several often call open house specifically for those with no or low wins to get a chance.

[Ascend Charlie]

Too slow. Here's a quickie
https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1440x964/capcom_next_9c00f9103678a111516fced57e618310ebeee120.png

[fdr]

"... yeah, but you should see the other guy..."

[Hydromet]

When the skipper said "Hold my beer and watch this" I knew something would go wrong.

[treadigraph]

Excuse me... is Flying Officer Hoskins with your squadron? I'd like a word with him about his round outs...

[Self loading bear]

It showed Hoskins was a transgender;
He had sunk his career in the Navy before he crossed to the Air Force.

[MPN11]

Roger was not feeling quite so Jolly after surfacing under the Admiral's barge.

[NutLoose]

I shouted the warning “bridge” and the bridge replied “ pass your message” And that was when we hit the damned bridge with the bridge.

[MPN11]

"It's called the Fin."

"Well, it's F-in buggered."

[treadigraph]

It's just occurred to me... anyone seen the Captain?

[Self loading bear]

This must be the last of Finland’s submarines.

Finland does not have any submarines.

Correct this one is Finish’d.

[Kiltrash]

Sorry Skip but the Ice Depth Gauge was set to centimeters not meters...

[Kiltrash]

Think the cammo design was just too good ...

[Kiltrash]

Crewman second right holding the knotted rope. ..
Sorry Sir but the Captain needs to have a ready made skapegoat before the inquiry ... so just sign the confession and i'll pull you back up from the keel..

[treadigraph]

Sorry sir, I spent the afternoon in a micro brewery in Walthamstow - I forgot to check if Tower Bridge was open...

[Kiltrash]

Well there I was with the Cruiser filling my periscope and I had a perfect fireing silution then I thought I saw 8 Girls in Bikinis sunbathing. I knew no one would belive me so I got a bit closer and closer....till I ..poops

(damm Treadigraph beet me too it...)

[Kiltrash]

While filming Das Boot the props took one hell of a beating...
That's OK it's the non diving replica from Malta...we use for all Submarine movies

[Kiltrash]

The AUKUS replacement for the Collins might need some more work, after being visited by Green peace

[Chu Chu]

For the last time, Hoskins, it's "crash dive" and "battle surface."

[Chu Chu]

But on the plus side, we've finally proved that Swedish teenager wrong.

[Chu Chu]

There was nothing on the sonar, and once we'd surfaced, the sea was clear as glass from horizon to horizon.

I knew this would happen if they appointed a female commander.

[Chu Chu]

Can they really keep this out of the papers?

Just remember -- the ferry had a defective bow visor.

[Chu Chu]

Sadly, Spidey-sense says sending "Sorry slight slip-up sundered sail signed hoSkins" won't make things any better.

[MPN11]

"Ferry, across the Mersey" just keeps giving.

[MPN11]

"Well, chaps, we can't blame Sharkey for this one."

[Confusious]

Is this the Officer's Mess?

[MPN11]

"Has anyone seen the girls who were sunbathing on the casing?"

[Kiltrash]

All was well as we snuck into Tokyo bay hiding under the Yamoto till some basted other Sub Went and torpedoed her....

[Kiltrash]

Now remember we were never in the area besides Kursk...

[Kiltrash]

Not to be outdone by their country cousins, The Ukrainian Fishermen proudly show what they trawl up..

[Kiltrash]

In the Clyde normally an ecounter with a Submarine it's the Trawler that comes off worst

[andytug]

"One prang only, Vassily...."

[Kiltrash]

For the latest batch of Perrisher candidates it does not turn out well.

[treadigraph]

Yes I know the Beatles were probably all stoned on Yellow Submarine but this is the US Navy, sailor! You are gonna get your ass busted!

[Big Pistons Forever]

What happened to the Captain ?
Oh he was promoted to a Naval HQ job.

[Big Pistons Forever]

The plan was to impress the Admiral by staying submerged right up to the jetty side and then surfacing. What could possibly go wrong ?

[Big Pistons Forever]

If they weren't upside down when they hit the bottom they probably could have gotten away with it.....

[Big Pistons Forever]

What happened ?

The sailor on the planes was listening to this song......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8ofS5kOGaI

[Kiltrash]

I know you are supposed to name the vessel with a warrior like name to send terror into the heart of the enemy? but HMS Nigel? ? That explains why it's a bit bent.

[MPN11]

If Aeroflot operated submarines … (other airlines also exist)

[treadigraph]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1440x964/capcom_next_9c00f9103678a111516fced57e618310ebeee120.png

[Chu Chu]

All that, and we still can't lift the piano out.

[NutLoose]

i told you, curry for dinner and farting in a confined space do not mix.

[NutLoose]

Ok Son, now you have the charging lead plugged in. take the cable. swim ashore, and find a 3 pin plug to plug it in.



..

[NutLoose]

I've read the specs and BAe only guarantee the crush depth to plus 30 ft.

[NutLoose]

Ok write it up. humped by a humpback.

[NutLoose]

Worst case of tinworm I ever did see.

[cavuman1]

Cap'n Crunch's promotion to Rear Admiral was placed on indeterminate hold.

- Ed

[Big Pistons Forever]

Supply Officer talking to his P.O.

“That’s weird, some submarine just ordered 3 cases of duct tape and some paint which has to be delivered before tomorrow morning “

[Big Pistons Forever]

So that’s how the skipper got the handle “Jimmy Buffett”

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Not sure what happened sir. We got back from liberty and it we found it like this. There wasn't even a note left on the windscreen!

[Kiltrash]

Perhaps we should not have specified NO HALO for our new Sub to save on costs

[Kiltrash]

Mr Pincher perhaps you should not have groped the Planes man while we were at Periscope depth

[SLXOwft]

No Hoskins, this is not what is meant by trim the boat.

[SLXOwft]

Lt Cdr Al Pollock realised he should have checked the tide tables more carefully before attempting a tribute to his namesake.

[Kiltrash]

Things you don't expect to hear on a Submarine...Say again QNH

[Kiltrash]

USS Independence gets a hostile reception on a good will visit to North Korea

[Kiltrash]

Perhaps calling her HMS Boris Johnson* was a mistake, despite advisors on board it kept crashing into stationary objects.
* insert the name of your owncountry's incompetent leader

[Kiltrash]

In Gibraltar the Air Force forgot to tell the Navy the Runway had been extended....ahead of schedule

[Wensleydale]

Perhaps calling her HMS Boris Johnson* was a mistake, despite advisors on board it kept crashing into stationary objects.
* insert the name of your owncountry's incompetent leader

..or indeed HMS Starmer in which case it would have sunk without trace.

[Kiltrash]

I know it's regulations that we have a Pilot to guide us through the Suez Canal but remember I give the orders...
Now Mr Hoskins what was your last vessel you took through? ?
Evergiven sir

[NutLoose]

Hoskins, nip down the bank and ask about a bridging loan.

[622]

So, did we pass the sea trials Sir?

[treadigraph]

...some weigh anchor dropped his anchor on us...

[treadigraph]

This is a very fast sub... so fast we outran our own :mad: torpedos!

[treadigraph]

It was those women on that destroyer Sir. We drew alongside, Seaman Roblansky made a rather ungentlemanly remark, they gave us a good handbagging. Jeez what do they carry in their handbags?

[NutLoose]

We're gonna need a sh*tload of speed tape and black paint.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1440x964/capcom_next_9c00f9103678a111516fced57e618310ebeee120_2aba6c0 a200a0a1c51dfa71b4f7917c337c05e0a.png

[Dan Gerous]

See that f****** ships cat....

[treadigraph]

OK, who was charging their e-scooter?

[NutLoose]

See, this is what happens when you attempt to punch through the ice, but get your bloody poles mixed up.

[Buster Hyman]

Don’t tell me. You found HMAS Melbourne?

[NutLoose]

It's alright tossing a line to measure the depth under the keel, but next time it might be an idea the read the bridge heights above us.

[NutLoose]

Of course it will still dive, it's the coming back up that's worrying me.

[NutLoose]

Nope the ladder still won't reach the deck, bash it into it again.

[SLXOwft]

Cdr Bloggs lost more than a bet about the gap between the catamaran ferry's hulls.

[Kiltrash]

HMS Astute narrowly missed running aground off the Isle of Skye, however the Bridge to Skye wasn't on the latest edition of the Admiralty Charts in use
( 1998)

[SLXOwft]

"... the candidate demonstrated the strength of character necessary to pass the COQC, regrettably he showed no ability to recognize a loss of situational awareness and correct accordingly..."

[Kiltrash]

Now you tell me the Eddystone Lihhthouse was 3 green followed by one white, not the other way round

[Kiltrash]

Female voice from the conn...
' Off course re computing ' ...

[Kiltrash]

What's happening we're off course going up and down uncontrollably, said ms Heggarty
Discovers the Autopilot is deflating and the manual inflation tube is on his belt... ( Cr Airplane )

[NutLoose]

I said batten down the hatches, not batter.

[SLXOwft]

Finally, photographic proof 406's POSSUB 3 of 11 May 1982 was real.


(No offence to the aircrew intended)

[fdr]

"I must not fire my practice torpedo passive"
"I must not fire my practice torpedo passive"
"I must not fire my practice torpedo passive"....

[fdr]

Japanese Fisheries Ship 0; U.S.S. Greenpeace 1

[fdr]

The Commander was further chastened by the evidence that the sub was upside down while transiting the SCS by DR.

[Kiltrash]

Evil Kineval said hold my beer and watch this when he spied a line of decommissioned Subs at HMNB Dartmouth

[Dan Gerous]

Well having listened to the voice recorder, when the lighthouse said "your move!", you should have moved.

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1440x964/capcom_next_9c00f9103678a111516fced57e618310ebeee120_2aba6c0 a200a0a1c51dfa71b4f7917c337c05e0a.png

[Dan Gerous]

Yeh, I can see the problem here. You camouflaged the periscope, and the ship didn't see you.

[Ascend Charlie]

OK calling time.

Honorable discharge to DanGerous for
See that f****** ships cat....

But the one that made me laugh hardest was Buster with:

Don’t tell me. You found HMAS Melbourne?

For those too young to remember, the Oz flagship of the 60s, the aircraft -sort-of-carrier Melbourne, had a tragic accident with HMAS Voyager, a destroyer, which sank with the loss of many lives. Melbourne was patched up, the captains were changed, and it later took out USS Evans in a similar manner.
Moral of the story, you don't brake-check an aircraft carrier.

All yours, Buster.

[SASless]

That is some serious screwing you Lads had last night!

[fdr]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1440x964/capcom_next_9c00f9103678a111516fced57e618310ebeee120_2aba6c0 a200a0a1c51dfa71b4f7917c337c05e0a.png


off topic.

NVTS, Your picture of the sub scratching post... that looks a lot like a Permit class boat, only 2 were publicly recorded as having bingles, the USS Plunger, SSN-595 cunningly caught a surface ship unawares, and USS Gato SSN-615 hit the "Hiroshima" class [November/проект-658] K-19. Both cases, public word was that the boats were damaged around the bow, and for the Gato, she got some damage around the "reactor plating area". They don't fit the damage of your picture, but that sure looks like US of A periscope camo, and the configuration looks very much like a Permit boat, needing some bondo fill.

Who is that?

[Ascend Charlie]

Got too close to Bondi Beach to look at the topless girls, and picked up the shark nets.

[Buster Hyman]

Cheers AC. Loathe to make light of tragic events but it was too easy. 😉

Ok, have at it chaps & chapettes. Will make this a quick one.


https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/550x312/450a72fa_f8af_4fbb_af13_a402d0083492_4c0ccfe8a94586611dcf6bb 1dc42ccf88e52efb8.jpeg

[Self loading bear]

The officer with hyper mobility said to the soldier with 2 crunches:
What is your problem son?
I need a leg up, not down, Sir!!!

[NutLoose]

I’m practicing for when we have to split our forces in Ukraine.

[NutLoose]

You know the British use a bloody pace stick for this sort of thing.

[NutLoose]

Stop arsing around.

[Dan Gerous]

OK Oleg your right, it won't go all the way up.



https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/550x312/450a72fa_f8af_4fbb_af13_a402d0083492_4c0ccfe8a94586611dcf6bb 1dc42ccf88e52efb8.jpeg

[Dan Gerous]

Very good, but it's no John Cleese.

[SLXOwft]

Just a case of Putin one boot in front of the other, simples!

[SLXOwft]

Participant in the VVS's budget Red Flag exercise demonstrated how to avoid going below the hard deck.

[treadigraph]

Now do you understand why Russia is doing so crap in their little special operation?

[cynicalint]

i heard a pilot saying he could do a split-ar5e turn, so i tried on -it's not easy!

[Ascend Charlie]

Oleg's "Superhero Landing" didn't allow for the slippery ground... owww....

[Wensleydale]

The Red Army deploys to the Urals...

[MPN11]

The order was “Balls to the Wall, not the floor, Sergei.

[MPN11]

“I love the feel of cold nuts in the morning”

[fdr]

The Ukrainian Philatelic Bureau appreciated the inspirational input

[treadigraph]

Nope. They still don't buy that you're mad. Have you tried underpants on your head and pencils up yer nostrils...

[treadigraph]

Yes I can see your eyes are watering but I still think its hayfever...

[treadigraph]

Comrade, I'm sorry to report that Putin says you must pay for a new pair of trousers.

[cavuman1]

Comrade Testilovsky shows how he gained command of the Blue Ballski Battalion.

- Ed

[Chu Chu]

It may have been a mistake naming my boots Rishi and Sajid.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Nice try to distract me Sergi, but I can clearly see you have your boots on the wrong foot !

[Big Pistons Forever]

What on earth are you doing Sergi ?

Getting ready for my sex change operation !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Well you see if I am in a mine field and I do a split like this there won’t be enough weight to detonate the mine !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Sergi you are definitely flexible enough to be a supply officer!

[Kiltrash]

Well I got the idea from ' Bambi on Ice '

[Kiltrash]

Well I don't find this funny enough for the Edinburgh Festival..

[Kiltrash]

As Covid cases rise this is my 2 meter exclusion Zone General.

[Kiltrash]

Look all you had to do was pixelate out my face to protect my identity and you cannot even get that right Hoskinski

[Kiltrash]

No no I promise to go for my Piles to be treated, but at least this way it cool the burning sensation

[Kiltrash]

The standard slippery test for the cobblestones on Red Square needs to be brought into the 20th century. .

[Kiltrash]

My Flexible Friend

[Kiltrash]

The Political Party's is split 50-50.

[622]

Don't worry Oleg, when it thaws we will get you up again....in the meantime I'm going to cordon you off with these flags ....Health and Safety you know!

[622]

Gentlemen, welcome to the first day of parachute school.

First lesson....keep your legs slightly bent and knees together when landing .......Oleg here didn't!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Officer commanding Regiment of Silly Walks takes the salute.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Oleg stoically refuses to acknowledge that he had in fact been warned to be careful of the black ice on the parade ground.

[NutLoose]

Well next time you'll remove your bayonet first.

[NutLoose]

Like I said, the Ruble has hit the floor

[NutLoose]

You'll never win the one legged ass kicking contest with that attempt.

[Chu Chu]

February, 2022. Dismissing concerns about overextension, Sergei demonstrates the planned assault on Kiev.

[622]

Moscow Red Square parade of military might 2023!

[NutLoose]

All I said was, hey Vlad we are sending you on detachment to Ukraine and he glued his balls to the road in protest.

[Confusious]

You're wasting your time Oleg, you'll be too old before we're allowed to enter the Olympics.

[Hydromet]

Think yourself lucky, Oleg. When Olga did it she stuck to the floor.

[treadigraph]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/550x312/450a72fa_f8af_4fbb_af13_a402d0083492_4c0ccfe8a94586611dcf6bb 1dc42ccf88e52efb8.jpeg

[Kiltrash]

Limbo Dance?? I'll show you how to ' effin Limbo Dance

[Kiltrash]

I'll show you how to score a perfect 10 on the low bar..

[Kiltrash]

Well i got the idea from Venice Beach during the 'Flower Power ' times

[Kiltrash]

The Leader of the Isle of Man council gets a great idea for their flag on the council offices

[622]

In the annual regiment charades competition...... Prvt Oleg takes first place in the 'Guess the ballet' secton with his nutcracker

[NutLoose]

And on a high note...

[treadigraph]

Very good, Mikhail. Unfortunately at the Olympics, the high jump bar will rather more elevated...

[fitliker]

Their entry for this years most uncomfortable snipping positions competition scores high on discomfort , but scores low on flight consistency and accuracy due to the pain tremors that affect smooth trigger squeeze .

It can be very challenging to get the Ballistics correct from such a shooting position .

[SASless]

Goering, Himmler, and Goebbels you ain't .....now back in ranks Ivana!

[Kiltrash]

Quick get me a banana

[Wensleydale]

Auditions have started for the Russian state TV series, "Strictly Come Invading".

[Kiltrash]

Well I donno about you but this makes my eye water.
( yes you read right i did mean eye not eyes..)

[Kiltrash]

41 years ago I fell over when I was 6, however due to 'elf and 'afety no one is allowed to assist me up

[Kiltrash]

...and the President keeps promoting me for staying at my post whatever the difficulty

[Kiltrash]

In Croydon the Met finally come up with a punishment for the scroats that does infringe their human rights

[treadigraph]

Ooh, I heard that go! Now I see why they call it break dancing...

[Kiltrash]

No Sergio the Aerobics class with the girls was this time LAST week, , Now get fell in...

[Kiltrash]

If you seriously want to overthrow the leader you need to grow a pair and put your head over the parapet

[Wensleydale]

Sergei regretted writing "Rotary - particularly Hips" on his postings sheet.

[Kiltrash]

Bernie Cliftonski discovered the hard way when Emu bolted on parade..

[Ascend Charlie]

Imitating Boris Johnson, trying to keep a foot in both camps, and failing, like Boris.

[SASless]

When on Parade, one should put their best foot forward!

[NutLoose]

Those soles are dirty, charge that comrade.

[Chu Chu]

They say an army marches on its stomach, but this is as close as I could get.

[NutLoose]

No, that's not how you do i'm a little teapot, that's more a corkscrew.

[NutLoose]

And that comrade is your first lesson in Russian army tactics, we might look good, but we have f*ck all support.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/550x312/450a72fa_f8af_4fbb_af13_a402d0083492_4c0ccfe8a94586611dcf6bb 1dc42ccf88e52efb8_jpeg_fed1aa3d655a9c7b5d4e64531e8e627f57386 806.jpg

[Confusious]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/550x312/450a72fa_f8af_4fbb_af13_a402d0083492_4c0ccfe8a94586611dcf6bb 1dc42ccf88e52efb8_jpeg_fed1aa3d655a9c7b5d4e64531e8e627f57386 806.jpg
NutLoose, is this you? 😀

[Kiltrash]

Well i think Confusious should be promoted to winner, 1st class

[Kiltrash]

The first Russian rider to take on Coble Day in Le Tour finds it a tad more difficult than he first thought

[Buster Hyman]

Lets have a new pic for the weekend eh!

I would've gone with "Sergei realises that he too needs a Special Operation!"

But... Runner up:
Ooh, I heard that go! Now I see why they call it break dancing...
Meaning our winner is...
Think yourself lucky, Oleg. When Olga did it she stuck to the floor.

[Hydromet]

Thank you, Buster. It was an excellent opportunity for lots of good entries. I shall return shortly with this weekend's offering.

[622]

....... It was an excellent opportunity for lots of good entries. ...........

...Especially for the soldier concerned, I think he may have just had a couple himself ! :{

[treadigraph]

I would've gone with "Sergei realises that he too needs a Special Operation!"
You should have and awarded yourself as the winner! You could have been TRiUMPhant...! ;)

Good pic and well done Hydromet!

[Hydromet]

Have a go at this one, then.
https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1000x632/screen_shot_2022_07_08_at_8_04_11_pm_20c1af3e875062bfdda0e4a 6c8e4c2f734a744da.jpg

[treadigraph]

Silverjet's new Topless service proved to be a great disappointment to a large number of dirty old men who had booked seats in eager anticipation...

[Ascend Charlie]

In an attempt to stop the pax from loading up their carry-on bags too much, Silverjet removed all the overhead bins. Saved on giving away headsets too, as they wouldn't work in the airflow and would blow away anyhow.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Aloha!!!!!

[622]

Br-easyJet !

[622]

In a desparate attempt to alert the cabin crew of the missing roof panel ....all passengers tried pusing the call button....

[treadigraph]

Fry-an' air...

[622]

Oh Sorry Captain, just realised I forgot to do the walk round !

Don't worry....we were only parked at Liverpool for less than an hour....

[622]

British Scareways......

(These puns could go on for a while!)

[NutLoose]

Ryanair cuts cabin costs.

[Confusious]

Shiverjet.

[Confusious]

To celebrate world chocolate day Silverjet have just launched their new "Cadbury Au Lait".

[treadigraph]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1000x632/screen_shot_2022_07_08_at_8_04_11_pm_20c1af3e875062bfdda0e4a 6c8e4c2f734a744da.jpg

[treadigraph]

It's our new Open-Airbus...

[treadigraph]

Lido-Air...

[SLXOwft]

If you wanted a closed cabin you should have booked Goldair.

[SLXOwft]

Letting 100 pax open their own complementary champagne bottles at once had unforeseen consequences.

[SLXOwft]

Don't worry they'll be dead quiet when we reach cruising altitude.

[SLXOwft]

Not a caption: Treadders one of us needs new specs.:O

The female execs in bed rows 5 to 7 began to wish their company enforced a glass ceiling.

[Chu Chu]

Who knew the coronavirus attacked fuselage crowns?

At least the extra ventilation should help with airborne spread.

[cavuman1]

Kick the tyres, light the fires, pop the top!

- Ed

[treadigraph]

Not a caption: Treadders one of us needs new specs.:O

I can see clearly now my laptop's on!

[Wensleydale]

Open-top skies policy.

[Kiltrash]

Alton Towers, In association with Hoskins airways, prepares to launch their latest white knuckle ride...

[Kiltrash]

At Farnborough after the Comet comes out the tank, it's dried off and put on the Ibiza flights

[Kiltrash]

Love Island flights prepares to hit the spots even Carlsberg could not

[Kiltrash]

Start up LoCo flights Luton to Orlando finds a novel way to reduce AUW to achieve the range

[Kiltrash]

The 52 Government Ministers that resigned board the celebration flight before the PM offers their old job back...at reduced wages ...

[Kiltrash]

...and as we approach the airport we turn the aircraft over and if it's your stop, just let go ..

[cynicalint]

Dignitas now extends its services to include a negative G experience...

[Kiltrash]

The new high capacity Elizabeth Line from Paddington to London Heathrow still has one or two snags to fix..

[Chu Chu]

Even Magaluf has cloudy days. But with Silverjet, getting there is half the sun.

[Kiltrash]

The inflight entertainment system suffers a technical...fortunately the band Village People were on hand for a live version of YMCA...

[Wensleydale]

British Airways organises a special treat for striking airport workers...

[Kiltrash]

The Spotters get all ' Highly Excited ' When a looking glass arrived at Mildenhall.

[Kiltrash]

When they advertised that all seats get a window, I thought we were upgraded to one of them new 1×1 configuration Executive Jet..

[MPN11]

Ah, Silverjet at Stansted! Who could forget their happy First Class passengers letting their hair down … while the proletariat flew all-Business on MaxJet.

[Buster Hyman]

MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY! We served the dodgy Vindaloo again!

[Buster Hyman]

“This is your Captain speaking…umm…everybody flap!”

[Confusious]

SILVERJET
A Breathtaking Experience

[Heinrich Dubel]

Even as they smiled for the camera, many were remembering the fate of the crew that leaned right.
Thank you, thank you!

[treadigraph]

From the moment we close the doors and cross check, our on board party atmosphere is guaranteed to blow the roof off! Silverjet - it's not for kids!

[Chu Chu]

Hoskins, when I said our fleet needed some new galleys, what I meant was …

[Kiltrash]

Well I got the idea from using a old oil drum, cutting it in half and hey presto, instant BBQ ...

[Kiltrash]

Captain to Co Pilot...Boy that Drone was close ..
Cabin Manager...Better break out the spare toilet roll...

[Kiltrash]

Cabin Manager. Assume the Crash Position....
(cr Airplane the movie )

[Kiltrash]

NTSB ( Hawaii Division ) ..Oh no not again...

[Confusious]

On today's flight we'll be offering a wide range of exclusive oxygen bottles with optional accessories such as masks, tubing and regulator valves.

[treadigraph]

Bob Hoover takes off for his demonstration of how to keep a pool full of water AND swimmers in place while rolling the airplane...

[Self loading bear]

First Silverjet tried to cover-up. But now they are fully exposed in the open.

[Chu Chu]

. . . and so the new owners benchmarked our operations against Southwest, and decided to adopt open seating.

[Chu Chu]

We got so many complaints about the moving map display that we decided to issue sextants (and make a few corresponding adjustments to the cabin).

[Kiltrash]

All was going Swimmingly , till the beach balls came out

[Kiltrash]

All was going swimmingly, till the lack of pressure caused the ' Boob Jobs,' to go catestrophically wrong.

[Kiltrash]

...and finally...
All was going swimmingly till the Zero G portion of the flight...

[treadigraph]

Oh boy, try and keep a lid on this...

[Wensleydale]

The 18-30 Holiday got off to a bad start when the lads realised what the "Cheap Topless Flights" actually were.

[Kiltrash]

...and Finally Finally as I have had a day in London on the Liz Line.
The cloud effect on the canopy at Paddington does seem ultra real..

[Dan Gerous]

No wet T shirts, but the headlights are on full beam.

[fitliker]

Great for night flight stargazing flights until your eyeballs freeze at altitude , deplaning requires extra time due to some thawing out of the seats apparently and deicing of the aisles.

[Hydromet]

OK, a short contest is a good contest, judging in about 12 hours time, so you can start the week afresh.

[fdr]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1000x632/screen_shot_2022_07_08_at_8_04_11_pm_20c1af3e875062bfdda0e4a 6c8e4c2f734a744da.jpg



https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/596x315/who_cut_the_d2a34ef1fc_31fa8559bd4ad003ec0a1f4ea373220ea9741 8f0.jpeg

[Dan Gerous]

The Kipper Fleet are really pleased with their new mounts, especially the sun roof.

[Hydromet]

Early bird prize, Treadigraph, with "Silverjet's new Topless service proved to be a great disappointment to a large number of dirty old men who had booked seats in eager anticipation..."
Headmaster's prize for History goes to Kiltrash, for "At Farnborough after the Comet comes out the tank, it's dried off and put on the Ibiza flights"
Honourable mention to SLXOwft for "Letting 100 pax open their own complementary champagne bottles at once had unforeseen consequences."
Runner up is fdr for "Who cut the cheese?"
And the Winner is 622, with "In a desperate attempt to alert the cabin crew of the missing roof panel ....all passengers tried pushing the call button...."

Go for it, 622.

[622]

Many thanks....I really should have done the lottery more this month if my results here are anything to go by.....

But hey ho...lets try this one then:

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/f3/2f/a3/f32fa3d85e842179b5de19d2651193d1.jpg

[NutLoose]

Drop anchor

[Ascend Charlie]

The USS Monitor was sighted in Ukraine, looking for the Merrimac.

[Chu Chu]

Ordering Hoskins to position hull down may have been a mistake.

[NutLoose]

It's called the Moskva maneuver

[NutLoose]

Feet wet... feet dry.... feet wet....

[NutLoose]

I'm sorry, that's a 4,000 Ruble fine, parked on double yellows..
Where?...
They are there, come the dry season all will be revealed, unfortunately for you, you only have 28 days to appeal the fine and the dry season is months away.

[NutLoose]

If he thinks things are bad now, wait until I tell him that it's the sewerage pipe that has been breached.

[NutLoose]

I keep saying, the mud at Glastonbury seems to get worse each year we attend.