Caption Competition Mk III

[Kiltrash]

The US trial the X13 on their carriers, nothing wrong to see here.

[Buster Hyman]

HOSKINS!!!!!!!!!!!

[Buster Hyman]

The USS Trebuchet was a dismal failure.

[Kiltrash]

Lt Cdr Armstrong gets in some Lunar Lander practice when told he will be landing on the Sea of Tranquillity

[Buster Hyman]

Wait… Did you say Electric catapults or Electric boogaloo?

[Buster Hyman]

Don’t tell me. You flew tail draggers during the War…

[Buster Hyman]

I thought you said it was a light swell!

[Kiltrash]

The London Symphony Orchestra ( LSO ) Conductor visited the carrier musicians, all went well till " All hands to Flying Stations " was piped for am emergency Landing.

[Ninthace]

The US trial the X13 on their carriers, nothing wrong to see here.
Not a Caption
Carriers with X13s on a belt feed - a missed opportunity?

[Kiltrash]

Think the Pilot should have admitted he could not be carrier qualified and just diverted to a shore Base.
Bollocks bigger than talent was how it was judged

[Kiltrash]

...and that's why there are more aircraft at the bottom of the Pacific than at Davis Monthan, slippery decks and piss poor brakes.

[cavuman1]

NOT A CAPTION

Ninthace, I agree that the aircraft in question is, in fact, an F7U Cutlass:

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1050x724/f7u_cutlass_0c3f1da53fdf347535b42a3044bbd7711c8f84b1.jpg
Not a F3H Demon

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1199x897/mcdonnell_f3h_2n_demon_in_flight_in_1956_0a8f75c21f9c460f1c5 27dff587e1fe1033c1126.jpg
Good catch on your part; I stand corrected! Now if I can only find my reading glasses....

- Ed :ok:

[MPN11]

Holy Sprinting, Batman!!

[Ninthace]

Not a Caption
I will call this one later tonight to give a run at the weekend

https://i.postimg.cc/pLnjcZ4S/Cutlass.jpg (https://postimages.org/)

[Chu Chu]

Wave off? If I had to wait for an invitation to board, I'd never use my Cutlass.

[NutLoose]

Pull up....pulll up.... if I pull up any more I’ll fall over backwards.

[Kiltrash]

Mav, don't think the Admiral will appreciate you TOSSing one off over his Carrier

[Kiltrash]

" Think we're gonna need a bigger boat "

[Kiltrash]

The accident investigation later reported the pilot was not adequately trained having changed from the F3h to the F7u.....or was it the other way round...??

[fitliker]

When the string on the kite breaks .... run

[fitliker]

The gliding tow rope breaking exercise finally came in handy , after the new kite broke the lightweight tow string .
As the Navy says go cheap , go deep .

[fitliker]

Apparently, the inflatable decoy aircraft have a tendency to blow away in a bit of wind . Someone must have forgotten to tie that one down or was that the last one going off the end ?

[Ninthace]

OK It is time for honours and awards. A good many keyboard moisteners there.
First of all the Larsen Trophy goes to Ascend Charlie for "What's that ship doing inside this cloud??" "...about 12 knots.."
And the Obligatory Jag Slag Prize goes to Nutloose for Look on the bright side, at least we caught up with the ship, a Jag wouldn't have.

And so to the main event. The nominations for the CST are:

Dan Gerous It was at this point the pilot though that stalling the jet, and letting it drop gently onto the deck probably wasn't a good idea.
Treadigraph Ok, so maybe an elastic arrestor cable wasn't such a good idea...
Frostchamber Kowalski realised at that moment that every cloud does indeed have a silver lining - constipation was no longer an issue.
Buster Hyman I thought you said it was a light swell!
Buster Hyman Don’t tell me. You flew tail draggers during the War…

And the award goes to for Buster Hyman and "I thought you said it was a light swell!"
Congratulations to Buster and all conestants, roll credits!

The CST will be forwarded as soon as the dents have been knocked out and the salt has been washed off.
(The judge's decision is final, no refunds. No correspondence wiil be entered into)

[treadigraph]

Too late for consideration, but just to keep the thread near the top till Buster consents to fall out of his pit:

Yeah, I know you flew the Ascender at Wright-Patterson when you was a TP but believe me, you wipe the ass end off one more Cutlass with your draggin' it in slow and with power, your ass end will feel the toe end of my boot so hard, y'all be passin' Jayzus on the way up...

[Ninthace]

If it looks right, it flies right and that there don’t look right. The Vought Cutlass, only its mother could love it.

Perhaps we could pass the time discussing my idea for developing a carrier with belt fed X13s or their successors? Just think of the advantages. High rate of launch, easy storage…..

[Kiltrash]

Caption waiting for picture

" Boris sits on the sand at the G7 and does not want to play anymore "

( Ps well done Buster )

[treadigraph]

President Macron is welcomed to Kernow with a traditional Fish Slapping ceremony, celebrating the county's traditional industries, customs and disdain for casual visitors...

[Buster Hyman]

Why thank you kindly Ninthace! We’re in the midst of a significant weather event down here and that’s been keeping me rather busy. Probably no chance to do the comp justice with a worthy pic, so I’d like to declare open house!

[Kiltrash]

May I offer up..
To be called at the end of the G7 Summit


https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/976x549/_118877590_e3e2d335_c6f7_4600_b248_6fe8366565f6_2f1e6fa02b88 4cf98aac988cd966d6f08db98725.jpg

[treadigraph]

The elephant's foot in the room is...

[treadigraph]

How am ah liking Cornwall? Well so far ah've had five pasties, seven pints of Rattler and six pints of Tribute. An' that was just a workin' lunch...

[NutLoose]

Ok who dropped a log?

[NutLoose]

The three wooden tops meet.

[NutLoose]

No it’s a bog oak, not a bog log, and I should know as I’ve passed the mother of all logs in my time, how about you Mr President?

[Ninthace]

Have you f**ted Prime Minister? Of course I have Mr President! Do you think I always smell ike this?

[NutLoose]

I’m educating him slowly, this for instance is called the man spread.

[treadigraph]

Have you f**ted Prime Minister? Of course I have Mr President! Do you think I always smell ike this?

No, this is how you do it Boris, cross your legs and squeak one out - my wife taught me it, that's how she got her Doctorate!

[NutLoose]

Just don’t mention Devon and how wonderful it is Joe.

[Dan Gerous]

Phoaw, legs spread, here come the wives.

[ShyTorque]

“Say there, Boris, did you just call me Trump?”

”No Joe, after your last stinky one, I was just warning everyone that you were turning the other cheek!”

[Ascend Charlie]

"Hey Joe, did I introduce my mate Stumpy?"

[cavuman1]

(L-R) Stumped - Stump - Stumpy

- Ed

[fitliker]

Nervous laughs all around once they realize they are sitting next to a brand new unused chopping block .

[treadigraph]

Say Boris, how about we swap wives tonight?

[Buster Hyman]

Do you like m' stump?
Sure, but please call me Joe.
What do you mean my wife's a hoe?
Fine! I'll go!

[Ascend Charlie]

(Boris): ..."such as a Cornwall log..."
(Joe, waking up): "Wassat? The Duchess of Cornwall is a dog??"

[andytug]

(With apologies to Baddiel and Newman :) )

"You see that stump of wood between us?"

"I have observed it, yes"

"That's far more use than you will ever be Al, has better hair, and more brains!"

[Dan Gerous]

So tell me, have you read Homer?
No, but I did the Simpsons coloring book on the way over.

[NutLoose]

I see you’re still using that notepad Naughty Korea Kimmy sent you.

[NutLoose]

You think the logs bad, we still crown people sitting on a stone.

[NutLoose]

Next time we won’t let the bloody Canadian do the first interview, we are still trying to located the rest of the tree.

[Chu Chu]

Johnson may think he's a tough negotiator, but after I get done with him, he'll be known as Cornwallis.

[Wensleydale]

"K11, Bristol Channel".

"Damn - you've just sunk the Nimitz!"

[Dan Gerous]

Jesus, you look like a bag of ****.
Gimme a break Joe, I ran a comb through my hair yesterday
https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/976x549/_118877590_e3e2d335_c6f7_4600_b248_6fe8366565f6_2f1e6fa02b88 4cf98aac988cd966d6f08db98725.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

Crikey that covid really did you in Donald, you've lost weight and gone a funny colour

[NutLoose]

Hey Joe, don’t knock the tie, Donald taught me how to tie it.

[NutLoose]

Petrified wood? I can tell you it was scared ****less when it heard it was sharing the stage with us two.

[Buster Hyman]

Joe, knowing his history, reacts accordingly when Monica Lewinsky walks in. Boris on the other hand, is up for anything!

[treadigraph]

JB: Boris tells me the Jam should go on before the Cream - he doesn't seem to realise that only Clapton is still alive from Cream.

BJ: No, we are talking scones, Joe, not rock.

JB: What is scone music? And does it rhyme with own, gone or tune?

BJ: Say goodnight to the folks, Gracie...

[cattletruck]

BJ:
I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear Papa

JB:
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels?
Suspendies and a bra?

[cavuman1]

Typical politicians - always giving stump speeches.

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

Hi All. LAST ORDERS please. Calling at 8 pm UK time...

[SASless]

Groping Joe declines the wife swap but offered his VP as a way to sweeten the deal.

But even Boris knew to turn down Wun Dum Ho.....face down!

[MPN11]

Well, Boris, I could have been inspired … but Corn Wall is so wooden.

[NutLoose]

I tell you Joe, never let someone else pack for you. i'm wearing the wifes knickers and they're riding up something wicked

[NutLoose]

So Sturgeon called me last night and told me she should be involved as she gave a toss about Scotland. So we sawed the top off the tree last night and sent her the caber to toss

[Kiltrash]

Sorry all been delayed, the BBQ went on a bit longer than planned.

Some more offerings.

JB....Sh!t thought you said Trump was comming..

or

BJ...So can we have Anne?
JB....Can we have Andrew?
BJ....That's a no then...

or

That's all right Joe, put whatever you want in the communication and I will sign it, got a match to watch...
or

BJ as host for the G7 takes it as far as possible from home troubles, London, Parliament, Wallpaper. Northern Ireland, Brexit, Scotland, Pandemic, Wales, Dominic, Pole Dance
At least Cornwall don't want independence he reasoned....

or

However the Final Communique has been drafted, torn up, re drafted, thought about and sent to Sir Humphrey to put into plane English...
so please stand by as the results are to come. After another glass of Red...

[Kiltrash]

In Joint Runner up.( But your all winners ) is Treadi with

How am ah liking Cornwall? Well so far ah've had five pasties, seven pints of Rattler and six pints of Tribute. An' that was just a workin' lunch...

and

Nutty with

Just don’t mention Devon and how wonderful it is Joe.

However there can only be one winner and somehow bringing Military Aviation into the equation the honour goes to Wensleydale with

"K11, Bristol Channel".

"Damn - you've just sunk the Nimitz!"

Its yours sir..

[Wensleydale]

When Disport met Battleships!

Thanks Kiltrash....staying topical perhaps?


https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/653x490/cap_com_2_7a98f97878ca645139c95dca2191c48daff5a837.jpg

[Hydromet]

The NSW government takes a tough line with people trying to escape across the border from Victorian lockdown.

[Buster Hyman]

In a strange twist of fate, members of the Durian Brigade found themselves alone on the Battlefield.

[Ascend Charlie]

B Platoon is ready for the fondue party.

[Chu Chu]

He said something about Spanish fliers. But I don't see how these masks will protect us . . . and isn't Spain neutral anyway?

[Chu Chu]

Look at the bright side -- there's no way a virus will get through the mask AND survive the chlorine gas.

[Chu Chu]

Of course I volunteer -- I've always wanted to go on a covid mission.

[fitliker]

The first new cohort of flight attendants undergoing new training requirements for expected surge in cattle class post Covid travel to Shagaluf from Luton .

[SASless]

Bayonets, Covid Masks, and Nuke Anti-Flash goggles....ready for anything!

[Kiltrash]

Ready for the smoke from the BBQ

[Kiltrash]

Captain Mainwaring. They don't like it up 'em

[Kiltrash]

Terracotta army gets a modern makeover when the display re opened on 21 June 19 July

[Ascend Charlie]

The Venezuelan Coast Guard anxiously awaits their shipment from Iran, with the latest .303 rifles.

[Buster Hyman]

Sarge said to fix bayonets, but I can't see anything wrong with them!

[treadigraph]

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/653x490/cap_com_2_7a98f97878ca645139c95dca2191c48daff5a837.jpg

The real Wombles of Wimbledon Common prepare to go on Litter Patrol...

[treadigraph]

Baldrick has another cunning plan - although its aims aren't apparent even to him...

[622]

The Cornish Home Guard issued an apology after arresting Angela Merkel and hubby during a beach stroll

..In a statement the CHG said "Well, no one told us the war was over....but a delivery pidgeon was due any day from London...so that may confirm it!"

[treadigraph]

Are there any more beans, Mr Taggart?

[Beamr]

Baldrick! The mask does not protect you properly if you wear it under your nose. Not that it would matter much with chlorine gas but a regulation is a regulation, and in the army we follow the regulations.

[Dan Gerous]

Well if you'd stayed in single file, we wouldn't have got stuck!

[Kiltrash]

The North Korean Home Guard are tasked with protecting the Corn harvest, find some short fat won has commandeered them first

[Kiltrash]

The Dover Home Guard assist in repelling asylum seekers during Covid

[Kiltrash]

But Sarge, not a good way to attack the Gatling gun is it.. ?

[cattletruck]

Face masks, eye goggles, and spike proteins were standard issue for biological warfare.

[622]

Prvt Hoskins apologised to his mates and admitted that the baked bean & sprout surprise..with extra prunes! was probably not a good choice to cook them for dinner the evening before.

[Kiltrash]

At Bannockburn, Robert the Bruce prepares to welcome King Edward.

[Kiltrash]

Nicola declares Independence for Scotland.
"Please can we have some of your spare Covid Jabs "

[Kiltrash]

...and finally, Scotland fans prepare to get on the Football Special to Wembley..
"But its only Monday the games not till Friday.."
"Don't wanna miss drinking time in Trafalgar square "

[Kiltrash]

In Iwo Jima the last squad of Japanese soldiers finally surrender and ask " Is Bryan Adams still No 1 !

[622]

"Sarge, are you sure this is what the Adj meant when he said he wanted us all to use protection when we went on leave in the town and met the 'lovely' young ladies?"

[NutLoose]

Japans protection squad dig in on Carbis Bay beach to protect their leader during the G7 summit.

[SASless]

The lads misunderstood what it was meant about the Huns living like Fat Bastards!

[NutLoose]

Ok Chaps, once the broom handles, bin liners and bodge tape arrives, we are fully equipped for this mans war.

[NutLoose]

Ok, FIX PIGSTICKERS..

Err Sarge, you can't call them that these days, you are insulting various races and religions with those comments, even if we are about to repeatedly stab them to death...

[NutLoose]

Ok, FIX PIGSTICKERS, prepare to charge up the beach, Wun, ignore the Politicians they will run away like a bunch of school blouses, your target it the Pig on a spit roast, Ho, you go for the roast Chickens, Ling Chow, you get the booze and Low Sprung, go for the vegetables, then we will retreat back to here ok.

[fitliker]

Are you sure these anti-aircraft sticks will work on the low flying Sopwith Camels ?

[Chu Chu]

Hold on -- I just reread the orders. It seems we're to perform a masking attack.

[Chu Chu]

Wu Lien-teh's masks will protect us from the plague, and we might need the bayonets if someone tries to force the border. But why are we standing in a ditch?

[MPN11]

“Mnnh ammmunnnh”
”Mnh aghn?”
”Mnnh … fnghh it. Stnnnd dhnn”
”Wot?”

[Kiltrash]

Anyone with Marshmallows?

[Kiltrash]

Ooh I dunno, the straw stuffed dummies hanging on ropes look very warlike to me.

[Kiltrash]

.
"....reports are cumming that white flags are flying over Stanley "

[SASless]

GAS? No, Monsieur....change of underwear day!

[fitliker]

Andre you change with Francis , George you change with Arnault , Leon you change with Pierre and Hamish go get some kit and never mind this Commando let it blow in the wind transferred from a Heeland regiment so knicker rules do not apply to you horseradish .

[Ascend Charlie]

"You want jab, we give you jab!"

[ShyTorque]

“Captain Mainwaring…..can I stay at the back please because I can’t see a thing….I’ve brought my welding goggles by mistake!”

“Stupid boy!”

[Chu Chu]

"Alright, where's Hoskins?"
"At the aid station, Sir. Bayonet in his foot."
"How on Earth did that happen?"
"Not rightly sure, Sir. But it was just after you told us to steel ourselves."

[fitliker]

Deploy those pesky bubble makers now you elderberry stinkers .

After receiving valuable intel from a public humour forum about a new hearts and minds psyops , the new anti bubble battalion was formed . Started with just a small group of professional potato peelers from the KP units these groups of men have been trained to overcome their fear of elderberry wine fumes and get popping bubbles. The specialty masks worn usually cannot stop a brick but apparently can be scented with Gwinnett Paltrow perfumes to increase the absolute acridity and fervour of the squads .

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

It's the army's new "Trench Warfare Dress" regulations. The MoD doesn't want any of the troops to catch COVID while engaging in hand-to-hand combat. This includes use of "Social Distancing" bayonets.

[fitliker]

Many thanks....so swiftly onto the next!

..away you go!

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSNIDGyJTzaFeygPpLhZWVvLhjQgcK1iBh3xw&usqp=CAU

The trick is keeping the bubbles away from those pikemen

[Kiltrash]

The Nagasaki Defence Force prepares to defend the home Islands.
" There is nothing the Americans can throw at us we cannot defeat "

[Kiltrash]

At Carbis Bay the evening BBQ gets out of control. The Anti-Fun Police finally move in.

[Kiltrash]

In this Army, there are no minimum height requirements.

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/653x490/cap_com_2_7a98f97878ca645139c95dca2191c48daff5a837.jpg

or
In this Army the seven dwarfs would feel loved .

[treadigraph]

The smallest man in the unit was expected to lead patrols for obvious reasons.

[Hydromet]

Ronnie Corbett stars in "Carry on Up the Ginza."

[622]

An amusing incident at the Swiss Army reunion .....5 men turned up with the same attachments!

[NutLoose]

Our fork squad will be along shortly, followed by the female spoon squad.

[NutLoose]

Mein Gott, but Hitler told us to prepare for zer night of zer long knives.

[NutLoose]

As our Sgt, one eyed Jack said, careful with those you'll have someone eye owww.... Hence we now wear goggles.

[treadigraph]

Just another Friday night in Croydon...

[Kiltrash]

Well that's the last time we let Hoskins San organise a pi$$ up in a brewery

or

organise the outfits for the Marathon Charity Run

[Kiltrash]

Dammit Treaders, was just about to say the same about Newcastle...

[Kiltrash]

The Israel security force has never had a aircraft hijack after the officers are told to display in plane sight.

[Kiltrash]

....and as soon as disaster threatens the goggles turn totally dark...

( cr HHGTTG )

[Buster Hyman]

Rare photo of the Azerbaijan Tyre Liberation Army.

[Kiltrash]

The ' Ring of Steel is thrown round the Euro Football Trophy as it's country wide tour nears Liverpool.

Well the red side as the blue side is well known for being friendly..

[cavuman1]

Bayonetta, gentille bayonetta,
Bayonetta, je te plumerai.

- Ed

[Chu Chu]

Having donned their anti-flash gear, the squad shows a flash of steel.

[NutLoose]

Just another Friday night trying to avoid being taken alive to Croydon...

[NutLoose]

I really wanted to join the AirForce, but they were all out of stock of sanitary towels with wings to wear on ones face.

[NutLoose]

There I was, up the Khybers pass, and he wasn't happy.

[NutLoose]

Have you met Spike and his mates?

[Kiltrash]

Director..." Right lads, so on the blast of the whistle you go over the top, and as the machine gunners mow you down, the camera will fade to sepia...."
...over his shoulder he whispers ' we did remove the blanks? I want to see real blood. '

[Kiltrash]

Boy they really dont like queue jumpers at the Chippies in Croydon, don't they...

[Kiltrash]

Having had 12 US Presidents inspect the troops at Windsor during the Queens reign, HMTQ asked Guy Richie to come up with something a bit different for the 13th..

[MPN11]

The RAF Regiment’s elite Anti-Zeppelin Troop waited patiently for a low-flying one to pass their way.

[Kiltrash]

In a little nondescript town in Eastern Ukraine the clean up crew are given additional PPE for the Nuclear Residue.
'Comrades for the good of the state you are never to speak of what happened here..'

[treadigraph]

Croydon Council's Public Relations team

[Wensleydale]

I'll judge tonight!!

[Kiltrash]

As the PPRuNe members head to South London for their annual conference the
​​​​​Mobile Croydon Artist Service come to give a display to rapturous applause

[Kiltrash]

Having been threatened by robbers in New York, Mick Dundee whips out his blade.

[Kiltrash]

A long time ago in a Galaxy far far away the Sand People of Tattooine feel sufficiently bold to take on the Imperial Stormtroopers.
...and we all know how that went.

[NutLoose]

And when the Dukes of Hazard leap the ditch, we pop their tyres, Wun, you take care of the spare..

[treadigraph]

At Mathilda-Janine's tenth birthday fancy dress party, horrid cousin Nigel and his mates came as party poppers...

[Kiltrash]

Bags I Daisy Duke.. 💕

[622]

"Oi .....Which one of you is the one they call 'Titch' ?"

[Chu Chu]

What with the excitement of the engagement and subsequent wedding preparations, neither Harry Fix not Helen Bayonetes gave much thought to the confusion a hyphenated name would later cause.

[Wensleydale]

I must confess that I use the maxim "If I can hit you with my walking stick then you are within two metres" when out and about these days, so in similar vein, tonight's winner is:

It's the army's new "Trench Warfare Dress" regulations. The MoD doesn't want any of the troops to catch COVID while engaging in hand-to-hand combat. This includes use of "Social Distancing" bayonets.

Well done sir, and take it away!!

[NutLoose]

I must confess that I use the maxim "If I can hit you with my walking stick then you are within two metres" when out and about these days, so in similar vein, tonight's winner
Originally Posted by Traffic_Is_Er_Was View Post (https://www.pprune.org/military-aviation/638840-caption-competition-mk-iii-post11062209.html#post11062209)
It's the army's new "Trench Warfare Dress" regulations. The MoD doesn't want any of the troops to catch COVID while engaging in hand-to-hand combat. This includes use of "Social Distancing" bayonets.

Well done sir, and take it away!!

Noooooo, don’t do that, tell us the real winner before he believes you :😂😝

[treadigraph]

(Caption looking for a picture)

Quick Vladimir Vladimirovich, Mr Biden has nodded off. While he snoozes, let's invade Hawaii!

[Kiltrash]

Caption looking for picture..
Kiltrash arrives in London for the football and goes offline. ...
( hope to see you all in about 4 days )

[NutLoose]

I’ve let him know he won.

[treadigraph]

Was that what Biden says he said to Putin, Nutty?

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Sorry for the tardiness. Been off the radar for a day or so. Cheers for the win! Now, hae a go a' thus!
https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/640x817/5274dd2bec404691437a15cf6d88dd5baf19bb90_34dafc06ce3f0b0afb2 26c153a985ddbd00b9802.jpg

[Wensleydale]

"Crimea?"

"No Officer - Nothing to see".

[Wensleydale]

Scotland rumoured to be trying out a new back three...."no-one is flicking the ball over my head" said Private Hendry.

[treadigraph]

Z Z Top - the Crimea years...

[treadigraph]

Smithers! Wilson! Get a bloody haircut! Thompson - good turn out, well done that man!

[MPN11]

Police at Wembley worry about the intentions of the visiting supporters.

[MPN11]

"Dinna gie me that Hearts and Minds crap, Jimmy ... we''re here to kill."

[MPN11]

A shortage of bears' skins led to trials of the McBeret.

[622]

Picture taken on Saturday 19th June, 2021:

Jock, Jock and Steve regret saying in 2001 they would not shave until Scotland beat England!


(I hope this caption still works tomorrow! :p)

[NutLoose]

You don't think we put all this crap on to support the team, no, we are here to ensure they do not lose 2-0 again.

[NutLoose]

A black cat maybe unlucky crossing your path, but what about two shagging your ears?

[NutLoose]

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/640x817/5274dd2bec404691437a15cf6d88dd5baf19bb90_34dafc06ce3f0b0afb2 26c153a985ddbd00b9802_f03b0ab56ba3ba1b22b915f1df0644c8957685 05.jpg

[NutLoose]

These truwsers are tight around the trossacks mon.

[NutLoose]

An independent Scotland announce their readiness to rejoin NATO.

[NutLoose]

I bet he drinks Tartan Ale

[NutLoose]

I'm sorry Gentlemen this will not doo, doo you noo have any multi racials amongst your company?

You mean like Hamish from Shetland?

Orr noo, I mean peoples of colour,

I, well there is Angus from Glasgow, he is darker than the rest of us, but that's because he doesn't wash..

Hmm... Ok, lets try... what about Women?

Och aye, we have plenty of those, mostly working under us ;) do you ken?

Ermmm... yes, and noo, that won't doo either, what aboot disabled?

Well there is Frazer, he's got the squirts real bad ya noo

No, that's noo good...what aboot Transexuals?

What's that?

Men that are transitioning to women...

Ock aye, the Companies full of fellas wearing skirt....errr Kilts.

That'll doo, we need some men in skirts in the photo.



...

[cattletruck]

Bay City Rollers version 1.

[Wensleydale]

We always have to a an NCO in the picture since the unfortunate episode at Sebastopol when the Times correspondent asked for a photograph of just our privates!

[Ascend Charlie]

"When will the Regiment buy me a wooden leg? I'm tired of dragging this Number 72 box around to stand on!"

[622]

Donald and Stewart had a good idea who may have put grass seed on their hats before going on leave!

[treadigraph]

Supertramp's new album - Crimea of the Century...

[Hydromet]

The Mess Committee accepts your tender for repair of the regimental condom.

[NutLoose]

Not only were they not wearing their skirts, it was found two of the regiment had committed the ultimate faux pas in wearing their bras outside their tunics and back to front.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/640x817/5274dd2bec404691437a15cf6d88dd5baf19bb90_34dafc06ce3f0b0afb2 26c153a985ddbd00b9802_f03b0ab56ba3ba1b22b915f1df0644c8957685 05_f9e4bc85606ddbfc166f3b3e7eda5e7852bd47c8.jpg

[NutLoose]

Not an entry...

You do realise after this, I won't be able to set a foot in Scotland again................................. So it's not all bad news :E

[treadigraph]

Andy Stewart prepares to debut his follow up to "Donald, Where's Your Troosers?" at the Drumnadrochit Ladies' Social Evening. "Donald Wears Ma Kilt!" was not the hit he had hoped...

[Chu Chu]

With the siege of Sevastopol being conducted via Zoom, the 72nd Highland saw no reason to change out of its pajama bottoms.

[Chu Chu]

NATO threatens to go old school if Putin refuses to de-annex Crimea.

[NutLoose]

The hats? ock when they strangle the cats to make yon bagpipes oot off, we get first dibs on the fur and it protects oor hearing from the player on oor right. you dinna think playing the strangle cat was just a saying did ya?

[Buster Hyman]

McTavish, McDougall, and Mountbatten we’re tasked with finding the spy in their ranks.

[Buster Hyman]

“We are smiling. Just take the damn picture!”

[cavuman1]

Mickey D's third shift fry cooks.

- Ed

[Wensleydale]

In a bid to reduce shop lifting, Edinburgh Woollen Mills introduces a new dress code for its store staff.

[MPN11]

"Face mask? We grow our own, laddie!"

[MPN11]

Gillete weren't brave enough to ask for "Before and After" photos.

[MPN11]

"Brazilian? What's that?"

[Chu Chu]

Orders are to beard the Russian bear in his den, and these are just the men to do it.

[Chu Chu]

Top three finishers in regimental "Crimean Peninsula on your chin" competition. Second-runner-up McTavish (r.) demands a recount.

[MPN11]

Proof that the Scottish Hair Force preceded the RAF.

[MPN11]

The Finalists in the Great Scottish Haggis Making competition posed before setting to work at disembowelling some sheep.

[treadigraph]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/640x817/5274dd2bec404691437a15cf6d88dd5baf19bb90_34dafc06ce3f0b0afb2 26c153a985ddbd00b9802_f03b0ab56ba3ba1b22b915f1df0644c8957685 05_f9e4bc85606ddbfc166f3b3e7eda5e7852bd47c8.jpg[

[treadigraph]

The wild beavers in Scotland were not, as often claimed, hunted to extinction in the 16th Century, as the last pair were shot by the McTaggert Triplets for use as cranial adornments prior to joining the 72nd Highlanders in 1853. As the runt of the three, Wee Jock had to make do with his Aunt Eliza's knitted tea cosy.

[Dan Gerous]

What do you mean smile? This picture is costing us a pretty penny, and that's nothing to smile about.

[Chu Chu]

Are you sure these are the men they want in the portrait?

I hope so. Captain Nolan swung his arm in their general direction.

[Dan Gerous]

Aye, we're the back 3, an ah kin assure yeh, yir no gittin past us.

[MPN11]

"Did ye score yesterday, Hamish?"

"Aye, that I did. Can't remember her name now, though."

[Chu Chu]

". . . and the Alma doesn't even have any salmon to poach."

"Crimea river."

[Chu Chu]

The Frogs are friendlier than I expected. One of them even taught me how to introduce myself: "Bonjour. Je suis Anglais."

[MPN11]

“We didna use many bullets … we stared the enemy to death …”

[NutLoose]

Didna take tha pish oot of oor hats, it has taken us 35 years to git back into a beaver.

[NutLoose]

Ok Ladies if you step out now we’ll have your husbands in to take their pictures.

[MPN11]

“Well, it’s a bit complicated, so it is. Ye see, we were planning to join the 27th Inniskillens, but we discovered too late that Sean here is dyslexic.”

(applying a Bog Irish accent would help)

[NutLoose]

Tartan, aye.... organised multi cam for the OCPD amongst us.

[MPN11]

#1. “How come #3 has got 2 medals?”
#2. “Didn’t ye see her?”
#3. “Hurry up with the photie, I have an appointment with the MO …”

[fitliker]

The sign of Winter approaching , when folks start wearing dead animals on their heads .
Although it could be a sign of a Scottish Summer where the rain changes from the horizontal to just a wee bit more vertical between the forty miles an hour fogs .

[Dan Gerous]

Jist think, in the future thull have awe kinds ah fancy weapons, but fightin will still be oor national sport.

[Dan Gerous]

FFS it took less time to win the battle, than tae pose for this photie.
Aye, and we wud have finished in half the time if they'd gave us bullets!

[Dan Gerous]

Guys, can you please stop writing your captions in the Scottish vernacular. Goggle's spell checker has gone into meltdown.

[treadigraph]

D: Hamish!
H: Dougal!
D: Ye'll have had your tea?
H: Aye. Tell me, Dougal, who is this wee imposter with a tea cosy on his heed?
D: Truth to tell, Hamish, I thought perhaps he was with you...
H: Nae, he is a stranger tae me.
D: Aye well, perhaps we'd best just ignore him then, lest people start thinking there's going to be a punch line...

[MPN11]

Hamish, how long have we been sat here waiting for voting?

Dunno, Duncan, but I was clean shaven when we started!

[treadigraph]

Table service at Wee Jock's Tavern and Haggis Emporium was notoriously slow. It was 1853 when the lads arrived and now it's 2021 and they still haven't had their order taken...

[Dan Gerous]

Ah dinnae ken whit aw this LGBTQ+ stuff is, but thir's naebody call'd Gordon in this regiment.

[Chu Chu]

Undated photo, likely taken prior to advent of rumor that Florence liked men with beards.

[Ascend Charlie]

The McTrump clan experiments with weird hair styles.

[Kiltrash]

Owing to the Scot rail Strike, Kiltrash and friends got back on the overnight sleeper a bit late

[Kiltrash]

Well if Prince Harry can dress up as a Nazi's dont see the issue said Mr John Smith of Croydon

[Kiltrash]

One reason that Scotsmen don't catch Covid is the Virus is sh!t scared to approach.

[Kiltrash]

After the Tartan Army left London it was discovered the Guards at Buckingham Palace had defected

[Kiltrash]

No stone left unturned with the English FA desperate to find Harry Kane

[Kiltrash]

" They may take our lives but they'll never take our FREEDOM "

was never sung with more less gusto

[Kiltrash]

Bloody London, ma kilt will never dry oot...
well it was ma own fault, falling into thr fountains wi a bottle of Fairy Liguid in ma sporran...

[622]

Shouting at 4th Soldier just out of sight:

"Nae Donald, I have nae seen your Troosers!"

[Wensleydale]

"D'ye know Rabbie Burns, Dougal"?

"Nae, but I heard that Joan of Arc does".


(Never ask for your stake well done).

[622]

At the Highland games...it was a tough job picking the carnival queen....but the eventually the 1st, 2nd and 3rd choices were made!

[Wensleydale]

....and in further news from the Highland Games: the Gold, Silver and Bronze medals for the Caber were all won by the Tossers from the Duke of Albany's Regiment.

[Kiltrash]

Remember, what goes on tour stays on tour...

[Kiltrash]

Wee Nicola recruits troops to man the border at Berwick post Independence

[Kiltrash]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/640x817/5274dd2bec404691437a15cf6d88dd5baf19bb90_34dafc06ce3f0b0afb2 26c153a985ddbd00b9802_f03b0ab56ba3ba1b22b915f1df0644c8957685 05_f9e4bc85606ddbfc166f3b3e7eda5e7852bd47c8.jpg
Realising in the small print troops on active service are exempt from Covid restrictions when returning to England, A visit to the Fancy Dress shop was called for.

[Kiltrash]

This Duke of Edinburgh Gold Award scheme gets trialed at Gordonstown.

[Kiltrash]

Musket is used as a ad hoc 2 meter Covid distance stick...

[ShyTorque]

"Where's your usual furry headgear, Jock?"

"Ma hairy haggis hoond escaped last night, tha noo!"

[NutLoose]

Man on right

They call me Dougal on account of ma beard looks like the wee dog on the magic roundaboot.

[Wensleydale]

Man on right

They call me Dougal on account of ma beard looks like the wee dog on the magic roundaboot.

I thought that your name was McDougal and you were the Flour of Scotland?

[Wensleydale]

"Edinburgh Tattoo?"

"Nae, but a've got Inverness branded on my ar*e".

[Kiltrash]

Courtier...Ah Mr ( John ) Brown, the Queen will see you now but why have you brought your cousins???
JB.....Have ye no heard, just how insatiable she is?... och ye the noo...
QV...Oh I like it when you talk dirty...

[Kiltrash]

The Bride, Groom and Maid of Honour were surprised at the latest Photo Booth creations

[Kiltrash]

....now we will just photoshop in the North West Frontier, and the fuzzy wuzzies will just run away in fright when they see the recruiting poster Lord Kitchener

[cavuman1]

McMoe, McLarry, and McCurly are thrilled to learn that the Three McStooge franchise will be broadcast from Edinburgh.

- Ed

[cavuman1]

Tiring of playing the gut bucket, the Three Whippersnappers decide to strangle the agony bags for a change of pace.

- Ed