Caption Competition Mk III

[treadigraph]

Was it built by SOCATA?

Nope, SOCKETA...

[treadigraph]

'Ere, I can't get it to take orf!

That's cos it's been properly grounded!

[Buster Hyman]

Too close for double A’s, switching to triple A’s!

[Buster Hyman]

The first captured Iranian drone was quite a shock!

[Buster Hyman]

The hardest part was getting his watch to fit in the cockpit with him!

[Buster Hyman]

And if you think that’s bad, wait til you see where the FO sits!

[Confusious]

Pierre spent most of lockdown in his own little bubble.

[Confusious]

Wow, look what The Repair Shop upcycled from an old Bubble Car.

[SASless]

When asked what he thought of the aircraft's performance during the first Test Flight.....the Test Pilot responded "Merde!"!

[Kiltrash]

...and when it's not flying, I grow Canabis in it...

[Kiltrash]

Got the idea from the F-16 .... it's all round canopy and fly by wire...

[Kiltrash]

Too embarrassed to even admit that he had seen the aircraft, Treadigraph refused to log it in his Ian Allen book.

[Kiltrash]

Just popping down the shops, see of I can get a gross of PP9's

[Kiltrash]

Mrs Duval rushed across to her husband demanding to let her have her hair dryer back as she was just out the shower.
The ground crew sniggered as she had forgotten her dressing gown.

[Confusious]

Pierre loves his new ride on mower.

[Confusious]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1280x850/chrome_image_3_nov_2022_03_40_54_gmt_a2c4933df4d94a64f56274b e54c306a4ca112083_da44d7ec3a8c7dcdd5a09631dfe1a22b39ee6d66.p ng

[MPN11]

"Of course it's held together with bubble-gum ... what else would do?"

[treadigraph]

When I asked for an aircraft with a glass cockpit, this wasn't quite what I had in mind...

[cynicalint]

Having spared no expense for a glass cockpit, every saving and cutback was made to the airframe to bring it into budget.

[Dan Gerous]

You can slag off the Russians all you want, but at least they can manage to get the fan inside the cockpit.

[treadigraph]

"Oops, just realised what I'm pulling back on isn't the stick..."

[Confusious]

Madam Cristaline Duval has had to attend yoga classes every day to get super flexible. He only built it so that they could join the all electric mile hight club.

[Confusious]

Oh sod the aerodynamics, just put a big water bubble on top to satisfy your main sponsor.

[SASless]

Zero Percent CO....but the Garlic fumes are awful!

[Buster Hyman]

TWR: "Call when you have the Runway in sight."
Pilot: "Well, if they cut the grass more often I'd be half a chance!"

[Kiltrash]

Elon designs a cheaper alternative to satisfy the Just Stop Oil Protesters....that he just happens to be the founder off

[Kiltrash]

Madam Cristaline Duval has had to attend yoga classes every day to get super flexible. He only built it so that they could join the all electric mile hight club.

Mile High Club.!! ..Only in his dreams

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Fly? Of course it doesn't fly. That's not the point! It's electric for God's sake. Zero emissions is the target, not performance.

[Wensleydale]

"I had dark hair I started the roll, but still waiting for V1".

[treadigraph]

He'll be using these in a new formation aerobatic team to keep Greta quiet. They'll be called the Thunderbergs...

[Confusious]

Surely it would be easier to remove Pierre and fill the bubble with helium.

[Chu Chu]

What if he has another kidney attack?

Why do you think we put him in a glass house?

[Kiltrash]

Takes Dogging to a whole new level of exhibitionism of one up manship

[Kiltrash]

Having landed the scruffy dog, from a couple of captions ago, was only too glad to get out and kiss the ground...
I was gonna say the Pope 😊

[Kiltrash]

As part of the BBC 100 years celebrations the Dalek and vicious angry extraterrestrial gets a 2022's makeover

[ShyTorque]

Little did Gervais know, but 0% CO referred to his future promotion prospects.

[Confusious]

Mme Duval is relieved to have the dining table back just in time for Christmas, now that Pierre has finally finished his model aircraft.

[Confusious]

Is that a 1/72 model?
No no, he's real!

[Kiltrash]

Herr Wankle designs a engine with no big pistons
..
it'll never catch on ...

[Kiltrash]

Duval descide to fly over the Channel for lunch in Margate. He sees Manston runway is available. However his return trip is delayed while he argues he's NOT a Asylum seeker ...

[Kiltrash]

The steering? Well i got the idea from when I was a Cox in the boat race

[Self loading bear]

This thread is way-off the topic.
You can just hear the thread drift:
Criiii-criiii

[treadigraph]

So... this is a Coulomban Cri-Cri?

[Kiltrash]

Designs are underway for a new ' Eye in the Sky ' traffic spotter aircraft....ready for when London bans ANYTHING powered by liquid fuel inside the North and South Circular road post 2024.
Remember you heard this first here.

[Kiltrash]

Very good Duval, but what happens if you run out of electricity and you can't find a handy fast charger??
oh that's easy, you just turn this key and the twin V8 diesels start...

[Confusious]

Of course it doesn't need a g-meter, we'll just inspect the top of his head after every flight.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

No, I'm not holding. This is as far as the extension cord will reach.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

The committee of the Rheims R/C Model Aircraft Club were going to have to have a good hard look at this one to see if Jacques was exploiting a loophole in the bylaws to get through to the next round of competition.

[Confusious]

He'll be fine, the first flight will be a short circuit.

[Buster Hyman]

The RNZAF crew were sure this wasn’t a C130 but…they looked over it anyway.

[Confusious]

We really don't want to burst your bubble Pierre, but........

[Confusious]

Despite all the snipes from the PPRuNe Captioners, Pierre is remaining positive and in charge.

[Confusious]

Buster wasn't really interested in watching Nutty's first flight until he realised that the take off from Dinard's northerly runway routed straight out over the sea.

[cynicalint]

Trying to keep the new materials for the canopy secret were futile after the inventor painted its name on the fuselage

[Kiltrash]

With regret I have to inform you the change of government has ditched the climate as a top priority, and your now poles apart from the new technology. Now if you could invent a fresh means to excavate coal your on a winner

[Kiltrash]

Rishi gets a lift to Cop 27 in a suitable aircraft. However due to range and speed arrives after Christmas
Yes he is in there, honest, somewhere

[Kiltrash]

Doc Brown adapt Mr Fusion to power his latest time machine...
The DeLorean?
Oh no thats repulsive now, this is a lot more attractive...

[Kiltrash]

Well actually I got the idea from watching Octonauts with my Grandchildren

[Kiltrash]

Having been selected as the new vehicle supplier to the 007 Franchise, Citroën and Airbus proudly show off the latest transport that Q will present to Bond in the upcoming movie.

[SASless]

The new Purple Flight Green Airplane arrived just in time for the annual grouse hunt.

[cynicalint]

King Charles s invited to trial the new slimmed down Royal Flight aircraft.

[Kiltrash]

Lady Penelope discovers just what Parker was doing with FAB1 in the garage

[Big Pistons Forever]

Last call; Judging tomorrow

[Chu Chu]

Now we just need to add one full-size feature at a time until we have a commercial airliner. We've already built in the wing cross-section.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

What are those two steering lines tethered to?
I'd rather not say, but what I will say is, you soon learn to keep the thing straight.

[Kiltrash]

Don't you have a rather large anti collision light on the tail?
At the speed this flies you have to be wary of a small sparrow creeping up behind you.. swiftly

[Kiltrash]

LA Centre could not believe the screen when they were called up for a Speed Check ....

[Kiltrash]

Designed by committee....should be a winner in Russia.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Judging Time

Biggest Groaner:
Confusious with
He'll be fine, the first flight will be a short circuit.

Most Cringe inducing:
Tredigraph with
"Oops, just realised what I'm pulling back on isn't the stick..."

But the overall winner is, and it truly pains me to say this, but it is........
Buster with
The hardest part was getting his watch to fit in the cockpit with him!

The CAPCOM trophy will be sent on the next zero emission trans Atlantic flight :}

[NutLoose]

Strap a grenade to it when you drop it off :p

[Confusious]

Strap a grenade to it when you drop it off :p
:):):)

[Kiltrash]

Don't expect a fresh picture soon, Busters busy giving Olivia Attwood mouth to mouth resuscitation. ...
Ps Well done that man 😁

[Buster Hyman]

No pain, no gain BPF! :ok: Cheers.

Still dealing with floods at the moment so probably tomorrow before I get a chance to put a pic up and, knowing you lot, that just won’t do! So, I’m happy for the runners up to have a go, or open house!

[NutLoose]

You get yourself sorted bud..

[treadigraph]

Hope all OK Buster, try this one folks:

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/602x446/image_b96f8946e4a00b551536b87ba3c13d34a0580b39.png

[sealo0]

Your are supposed to look in the mirror!

[NutLoose]

Don't worry, he'll get over it.

[MikeDB]

“1590”

[cynicalint]

Stop hiding under me! The NLAW will still get you!

[MPN11]

“Please retreat more carefully … we are already short of spare parts.”

[622]

These new multiple air drops are very accurate these days Sir!

[Chu Chu]

But on the other hand, the camouflage trial was successful.

[MPN11]

The armour didn’t react, but the driving instructor did.

[Big Pistons Forever]

You moron ! “ Up” means the guns ready to fire not drive up and over !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Well that’s one commander done with, two more and we can go back home to Russia

[Big Pistons Forever]

Ummm why didn’t you just shoot him ?

[NutLoose]

They don't like it up Captain Mainwaring, they don't like it up em...

[cavuman1]

Tanks for the memories....

- Ed

[Confusious]

There I was tanking along and minding my own business when.....

[Confusious]

Yes, I know you were tactical surface to air defence, but you still need to look where you're going.

[Confusious]

Look Tommy, it's not on a public highway so let's just call it knock for knock.

[Confusious]

Mr. Putin said that soldiers don't need training.

[Confusious]

Wow, the graphics in the new tank sim are awesome!

[Confusious]

Kids with their Tonka Toys eh!

[Confusious]

"On the right is not in the right, this is the army not the air force"

[MPN11]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/602x446/image_b96f8946e4a00b551536b87ba3c13d34a0580b39.png[

Glad the antenna survived … we can call the AA.

[MPN11]

“ … and while avoiding the tree that jumped out at me … “

[MPN11]

Sergei Hoskinsi, in the background, walked away slowly denying any involvement and claiming to have seen and heard nothing.

[Confusious]

Go check the serial number of that part on the floor, we can get next day delivery with Amazon Prime then nobody will ever know.

[NutLoose]

See… it’s a far better view from up here.

[NutLoose]

Look, they have finally got their sh*t together, it’s just a shame they are retreating.

[cynicalint]

And, here, in its natural environment, we see the rarely filmed act of the AFV mating.

[cynicalint]

I'm sure President Putin, mating two diesel AFVs will not result in a new hybrid Armoured Personnel Tank!

[NutLoose]

When they said they were retreating and to cover their arse’s, I don’t think this was in their plan.

[Confusious]

I've got my no claims bonus protected, what about you?

[Self loading bear]

In the army they are like rabbits. They dig in everywhere and if you don’t watch them they have a go at it. In a few weeks you will see much more of these little ones.

[Big Pistons Forever]

It's not my fault the tank doesn't have a back up camera

[Big Pistons Forever]

It's all part of my cunning plan. While the Ukrainians are peeing their pants laughing at us, we can escape back across the river !

[ShyTorque]

Don’t worry, the tractor is on its way.

[MPN11]

“Oi, tovarich, good try, but that is 2 parking tickets you need … so 16,000 roubles please.”

[Ascend Charlie]

"When those Ukrainian drones drop a bomb on the top one, the bottom one will be OK!"
"Maybe so, but everybody in the bottom one is already dead..."

[Chu Chu]

No, I said take a position on the bank.

[Chu Chu]

Let’s see the turret blow off 832 now.

[Confusious]

Don't mind Hoskins, he's always been a bit backward.

[Confusious]

Before GPS a rendezvous was much safer.

[Confusious]

Just wait until Kiltrash sees the state of the fairway in the morning. :E

[Confusious]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/602x446/image_b96f8946e4a00b551536b87ba3c13d34a0580b39_0c440499ed8e0 3041f9b62a9c8b569db86b932b1.png

[Confusious]

Sorry, parallel parking has never been my strongest suit.

[SASless]

Women in combat they said....they can do whatever Men can do.....then Olga proved there were exceptions to that notion.

[Chu Chu]

How on earth did you get that under there?

It wasn't easy Sir, but you said we should take an under hull position.

Hull down position Hoskins, hull down.

[Hydromet]

So, Hoskins, what made you think 832 was a bridge-laying tank?

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

During trials, one camouflage pattern proved to be the stand out.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

How can you tell 832 was also a Russian tank?
There are skid marks behind 758.

[Kiltrash]

Busters water tank has a slight problem.

Ps stay dry and well Buster

[Kiltrash]

Men of a certain age play with their RC Tanks

[Kiltrash]

Unused photo op showing Boris / Liz / Rishi's latest car crash on their leaving tour.

[Kiltrash]

Kiltrash on the adjoining fairway in Croydon GC was heard to mutter about the ' Boy Racers ' tearing up the grass. Glad it's not my home course he told his playing partner Treadigraph

[Kiltrash]

Help help save me....I just saw a mouse...
Knew it was a mistake employing women as drivers

[Kiltrash]

Bit extreme of a way Hoskins to demonstrate your patented Tank Trap solution ...

[Buster Hyman]

Variation on ShyTorques theme:
"Holy SH!T Sergei! Is that a Tractor coming towards us?"

Ps stay dry and well Buster
Hope all OK Buster
Thanks chaps. Appreciate the well wishes, but actually busy with the response & not personally affected. Apologies for giving the wrong impression. :ok:

[Kiltrash]

Best nip round stores and get several pairs of clean underwear

[Kiltrash]

Trials of using a extra charge to get better range did not go initially well

[Kiltrash]

Phew, that was lucky we stopped where we did, just checked the engine oil level, looks like we need a longer dipstick.

[Kiltrash]

Hoskins trudging off to the right. Damm another prang, knew i should have joined the Air Force...

[fdr]

The late comrade lieutenants last caution, "watch out, we will be spread thin on the ground... " while prophetic seems oddly unexpected. His self addressed envelope however, came in handy.

[Buster Hyman]

Damn it Sergei! Did you steal an Italian gearbox?

[Dan Gerous]

No Yuri, sticking on another tank is not the same as reactive armour.


Did you say strap in or strap on?

[NutLoose]

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/602x446/image_b96f8946e4a00b551536b87ba3c13d34a0580b39_0c440499ed8e0 3041f9b62a9c8b569db86b932b1_fc8a860eaefbc4c6a566682d001564c8 bbdef92b.png

[NutLoose]

He says it shrunk in the wash.

[NutLoose]

Ok, we'll tell them he reversed into us.

[NutLoose]

Worse case of turret's syndrome I have ever heard, he may be small, but boy can he swear..

[Buster Hyman]

Okay. I'm really sorry that your ship, the Moscow, sank & we're glad you're here, but "ramming" isn't a viable tactic in the Army

[Confusious]

I'm sick of all these second hand donations from Iran Sergei.

[Chu Chu]

Just a BMP in the road.

[j4leaphill]

Got it from tesco sergei ,using the "you shop,we drop" service .

[Kiltrash]

Feeling slightly smug with themselves at the damage their T45 had done to the Warrior, did not notice the Abrams A1M1 approaching ...

[Kiltrash]

Damm autopilot did not do what we commanded...
Err this model does not have Autopilot. ..
SHH....

[Kiltrash]

When the crew have a break ' Someone ' normally stays on watch....
Sorry it's Someome''s day off ...

[Kiltrash]

Not a caption...
Sorry I don't see anything wrong with this picture, taken at the Croydon show of Monster Trucks on the Bank Holiday weekend...
Err the Bank Holiday was last month...
OK count that as a caption 😊 after all

[Kiltrash]

On the M25 it does not pay to challenge (er) anyone to a game of Chicken

[Big Pistons Forever]

Soldier standing on the top of the tank

"Well look at the bright side, I bet this will become a CAPCOM picture !"

[Big Pistons Forever]

I knew letting Buster drive the tank was a bad idea......

[Kiltrash]

After the RAF had 2 planes on top of each other the Army descide to do the same. Can hardly wait to see the Navy's Carriers have a comming together

[Kiltrash]

Guy s(h)itting over the commanders hatch gives a vote of no confidence on his ability.

[Kiltrash]

Local parking enforcement officer approaches, wishing he had brought a BIGGER clamp.

[Buster Hyman]

"Sergei. If the Ukrainians can drop a MBT on us from their Drones, then the war is over!"

[Confusious]

Sorry Sir, I was on my iPhone catching up with a bit of I'm A Celebrity. Would you like the latest gossip by any chance?

[Confusious]

Look Tommy, if nine The Red Arrows can fly close formation at 650 MPH then we could easily put on a good show with two tanks. Moments later......

[cynicalint]

B0llux!

[Kiltrash]

In February the first day of the Special Operation does not bode well for the rest of the advance.

[Kiltrash]

Top Gear proudly show off their latest attempt to balance 2 tanks on a Toyota Hi-Lux....

[Kiltrash]

In Bovingdon the local residents get used to strange crop rises. However this CCTV picture shows they have a more down to earth origin.

[treadigraph]

Last orders! I'll try and do the judging around 1300Z today before my 1400zzzz...

[Confusious]

Hoskins, the orders were to 'go underground for a while'.

[Wensleydale]

The tank commander always regretted passing his comment to a suggestion by his driver: "Ram It" was not a suitable answer.

[NutLoose]

Hey boss, this tank is a veritable Tardis, I opened the under floor escape hatch and found I have another room downstairs.

[treadigraph]

OK, a quick scores on the doors - lots of great entries, here are just a few of my favourites...

cynicalint Stop hiding under me! The NLAW will still get you!

622 These new multiple air drops are very accurate these days Sir!

Chu Chu But on the other hand, the camouflage trial was successful.

Big Pistons Well that’s one commander done with, two more and we can go back home to Russia

MPN11 Glad the antenna survived … we can call the AA.

Shy Torque Don’t worry, the tractor is on its way.

Buster "Sergei. If the Ukrainians can drop a MBT on us from their Drones, then the war is over!"

Nutty Worse case of turret's syndrome I have ever heard, he may be small, but boy can he swear..

Confusious Sorry Sir, I was on my iPhone catching up with a bit of I'm A Celebrity. Would you like the latest gossip by any chance?

But the winner, hopefully home and dry, is...

Buster Damn it Sergei! Did you steal an Italian gearbox?

The CST is trundling its way to you, hopefully with no unexpected impediments...

[NutLoose]

NOOOOOOO..... Twice in a year he has won... :{ I demand a recount!! :p

[Buster Hyman]

Cheers Treads! :ok: Nice & dry thanks.

Okay, whilst Nutty has a lie down after the shock, lets have a go at this one...


https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1904x1227/pay_night_witches_7d41298724e8f667825caad54831a7e924773865.j pg

[Kiltrash]

Right so that's Lidl for the Sprouts Sainsbury's for the Turkey and Tesco for the Mince Pies. Right Christmas shopping all done....Back here in 20 for Tea and Tiffin...

[Kiltrash]

Alexa, Siri and Bixby * despiratly try and plan a route. Too many navigators spoil the mission
* my wifes new phone has Bixby as the voice commands.

[Kiltrash]

So thats the Primary School, Baby food factory and Area 51 clearly marked as areas to avoid ... but a pass of Busters house, here, is allowed

[Kiltrash]

Quick game of Rock Scissors Paper to descide who drives

[NutLoose]

So we have narrowed it down to three places that someone could have placed their glass on the elevator and left a red wine stain.

[NutLoose]

Well in February our advance troops were here, but I believe they are somewhere behind us on the wing now.

[NutLoose]

So our orders are to take this village and rape and pillage... it looks like we are well and truly f*cked ladies.

[Confusious]

So, the last time I knew where we were was definitely somewhere on this map.

[NutLoose]

We will have to visit the Boots branch here and see if they have any, some fool back home is telling our troops to buy up all the sanitary towels for damned bandages

[NutLoose]

Short term is to pull back across the river from Kherson, but I have heard whispers that our eventual defence line will be Siberia, so pack some woolly knickers ladies.

[Confusious]

From what I remember we have a one in sixty chance of being right here.

[NutLoose]

Please Gertrude, don't hold my hand in front of Dorothy, you know how she is the jealous type

[ShyTorque]

It says unless we all get the same flying kit they’re going to post us all to RAF Support Helicopters…..whatever that is?

[Confusious]

Could I please borrow the chinagraph to sort my eyebrows out?

[Confusious]

Hurry up Ethel, I need to get that stick between my legs.

[Confusious]

Oh sh!t, I think we're stuck as there aren't any men here to swing the props!

[Chu Chu]

Eye of newt? I haven’t seen any since before the war.

[NutLoose]

With this Will I bequeath my black trench coat to Comrade Medvedev..

[NutLoose]

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1904x1227/pay_night_witches_7d41298724e8f667825caad54831a7e924773865_7 f0c067f84768318318ad3f92c7405e924048bd0.jpg

[Confusious]

Captured moment of the inspiration for What Three Words.

[Ripton]

Look, I've been given the leather jacket so I'm the pilot.

or

Right the blokes didn't didn't come back from the last mission so we've been tasked with taking out enemy HIMARs units. If they couldn't do it with the modern kit, we've no chance, so head North West, hug the ground and try not to get shot by the poles before you can surrender. When you get to the UK, tell them you're under 18 and have been trafficked.

[cynicalint]

The instructions say - take part No 4482, with the red circle, locate and cement the lug into part 4402.

[Confusious]

We've got this Ethel, just don't ask the blonde!

[NutLoose]

I wonder why they called it a Hurricane Wilma?

I don't know, do you know why they called it a Hurricane Patricia?

[NutLoose]

Get yer mitts off me map...

[NutLoose]

So we'll start at the Dog and Duck, if we can't pull in there we will head up to the Nags Head, they're not so choosy.

[NutLoose]

I think we can get some steps here otherwise the leg up onto the wing is going to Bust yer Hyman..

[NutLoose]

Ok you hit the Mess, you the Hangar and I will go here to the Barracks, remember, spread it about, it is all fake news and Buster NEVER won twice in a year..

[NutLoose]

It says here the sweet spot on the Merlin is about 2200RPM when the vibration is at its highest intensity.

[Confusious]

For the last time, I'm not a bloody Virgin pilot.

[Dan Gerous]

Well it's my colouring book and I've got the only pencil, so the grass is purple OK!

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1904x1227/pay_night_witches_7d41298724e8f667825caad54831a7e924773865_7 f0c067f84768318318ad3f92c7405e924048bd0.jpg

[Kiltrash]

Right that's the aircraft delivered here to the front line squadron, now all we have to do is find where ' here ' is so we can call a taxi back to the factory.

[Kiltrash]

The Russian fighter pilots are glad to get the supply of Aircraft off PQ17. So they can plan their route to defect to the West.

[Chu Chu]

They keep promising us some new Lend-Lease fighters, but so far it’s just Yak, Yak, Yak

[Kiltrash]

They were supposed to build a glider so we could get over the fence, but no they just had to give the design job to PO BA Engineering ....

[Kiltrash]

Seen this?? China are offering the equivalent of $10000 per month for experienced fighter pilots...

[Confusious]

C'mon girls we've gotta nail this for Byford.

[Kiltrash]

Mag North, True North and Grid North...Wtf ( sorry for the bad language but Pilots will be Pilots )
and there's us trying to plan a flight from Hobart to Melbourne...

[Kiltrash]

Here, on page 24 of Terms and Conditions it says the first person to bother reading all the way down to here gets a £10000 prize. Just call 01 759 4321

[Confusious]

That bloody sexist Flight lieutenant Smithers told me I'd be better off as a nose art model.

Don't worry he won't get away with stuff like that in the future.

[Confusious]

First target is Wigston Manor.

[Hydromet]

Mag North, True North and Grid North...Wtf ( sorry for the bad language but Pilots will be Pilots )
and there's us trying to plan a flight from Hobart to Melbourne...
...and here's us with three different maps of Tasmania.

[Big Pistons Forever]

I know Putin’s stupid “Special Military Operation” has caused the Russian AirForce to scratch pretty deep into the reserve stock pile but WTF am I supposed to do with this POS ?

[Big Pistons Forever]

Just like home Ladies, we have to go clean up the mess the boys made.

[Dan Gerous]

Well it was here when we left.

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1904x1227/pay_night_witches_7d41298724e8f667825caad54831a7e924773865_7 f0c067f84768318318ad3f92c7405e924048bd0.jpg

[NutLoose]

Leeming?, no we can’t land there, the RAF closed it..

What about Church Fenton?

Nope that’s gone too

Lynham?

No short sightedness built on the sides of the runway thus rendering it unusable.

How about there, Coltishall?

Nope that’s full of Perverts and solar panels..

Manson then?

Nope refugees and lorry parking..

Well we could try Brize but then the chances of finding room to park might be difficult.

[Kiltrash]

MOD can only dream of having 3 times as many Pilots over aircraft

[Kiltrash]

( bragging ) Well Mav took me up last year in his P51,
and me,
​​​​and me
Damm three timing cnut

[Kiltrash]

Does flight planning have to be done out here on the windy, cold and wet aircraft pan when there is a perfectly agreeable Starbucks* just over there?
* Other comfortable ( overpriced ) Coffee shops with comfort snack foods are available

[Ripton]

We're never going to get one washing machine in the back of this, let alone three.

[treadigraph]

Turn left at Sainsbury's, hang a right at Dorothy Perkins and you'll see John Lewis straight ahead....

[NutLoose]

Why they want to invade Milton Keynes is beyond me, the road system is a nightmare.

[NutLoose]

Ok, so I have marked all the Aldi stores around Berlin, remember its an Air Fryer we are after.

[treadigraph]

I think Bunty fell off Spunky Lad at the big fence about here, we better go back and see if she is all right. Um... by the way is this an aeroplane?

(is it a P-40? Looks like one but hood seems to be all perspex, thought they usually had a fair bit of metal framing?)

[Wensleydale]

I need to get back sharpish: the squadron commander needs his ironing done by tomorrow.

[Buster Hyman]

I
(is it a P-40? Looks like one but hood seems to be all perspex, thought they usually had a fair bit of metal framing?)
Yak 3 for my money. Sliding canopy, and fairing on the Horizontal stabiliser seems right too.

[NutLoose]

It's a lend lease Hurricane.... Why do you think I keep mentioning them, other wise some of my captions don't fit ;) I know the canopy is wrong.

I would say its a Yak 1

https://www.airliners.net/photo/Russia-Air-Force/Yakovlev-Yak-1/4092145/L

Yak 3 had a teardrop canopy

https://www.skytamer.com/1.2/2006/6373.jpg

.. (https://www.skytamer.com/1.2/2006/6373.jpg)

[Wensleydale]

"Are you supposed to put down 'Greeny Brown' under aircraft type in your logbook?"

[Confusious]

I wonder if the full moon's gravitational pull affects the compass cos I seem to have the same problem every month?

[NutLoose]

A Jeremy Corbyn sent it to us to show his support..
What is it?
It says here, it is a rubbing of a Westminster City Council manhole cover

[NutLoose]

F*ck know what it is, who is this Neville Chamberlain anyway, his signature is on the bottom of the paper along with some German.

[NutLoose]

Dear Moscow Times, when I wrote into your lonely hearts column saying I wanted a threesome, this was not what I had in mind.

[Kiltrash]

At St Athan the wreckers have to re-assemble from a pile of parts having trashed the CO's Typhoon by mistake. Frantically search the plans...then realise they are from Ikea. ...

[Kiltrash]

So right after take off its a hard over to the right and full throttle at 100 foot past Treadigraphs pub. See if he can hold his beer / breakfast. Depending on the time of day

[Kiltrash]

Right so we need to put this up on 'What Cockpit ' and I bet we get a correct response before we get a new Prime Minister..

[Confusious]

Right so we need to put this up on 'What Cockpit ' and I bet we get a correct response before we get a new Prime Minister..
Hope you're wrong. :{

[Confusious]

Seems strange that we all had the same instructor, you know that Nutty chap off PPruNe.

[Confusious]

We don't need a ruler, you can use your thumb to measure it. Dorothy, that's what I tell my husband.

[Confusious]

Perhaps it all went wrong when we crossed the expanse of The Solent.

[Confusious]

Girl on the left: Are farts wet?

[Confusious]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1904x1227/pay_night_witches_7d41298724e8f667825caad54831a7e924773865_7 f0c067f84768318318ad3f92c7405e924048bd0_a8836cb806a260c4a950 f2d46808837f39bde2c7.jpg

[Ascend Charlie]

"OK, three across, "Found in bottom of birdcage", starts with s-h and ends in i-t..."
"Shellgrit?"

[Confusious]

Oh f**k it, let's just follow the M1.

[treadigraph]

Oh f**k it, let's just follow the M1.

Er... your map doesn't show the Southend Arterial Road? Just how old is it?

[Hydromet]

Oh dear, why do they always send us off the edge of the map?

[Chu Chu]

We're pilots! Why can't we pose in the cockpit?

The political officer said he was sending me here to get pictures with a piece of tail.

[Big Pistons Forever]

This is a great target, after we kill all the Germans we can land and visit a great little dress shop I know.

[Kiltrash]

If we are going after ' Targets of Opportunity' why do we need a map??

[Kiltrash]

Very good Ms Baghold , but surly we don't need a Sun Compass here in Europe?
Don't call me Shirley

[Kiltrash]

This is Busters aircraft we're using isn't it??
Yes it is how do you know??

There's a lovely little trophy he's left in the cockpit..
or
The crotch strap is pulled exceptionally tight...
or
Theres a picture of Nutty on the windscreen, covered in little red kisses ( or darts )
😊

[Wensleydale]

Put three female pilots together and what do you get? Yak, Yak, Yak!