Caption Competition Mk III

[NutLoose]

He said his name was Hammond and not to worry, he’s done this sort of thing before.

[NutLoose]

Somehow I think we should go back to making smoke, the make fog device to hide in seems slightly underwhelming.

[Hydromet]

You'll never tow a ship this big with an aircraft that small.

[treadigraph]

Mr Knievel, Guiness World Records are on the phone; they say it's not really a motorcycle any more...

[Kiltrash]

O'Flattery emerges from the smoke clutching a half burnt stick of marshmallows ...

[Kiltrash]

In a strange twist of fate, the refuelling Drone uses up almost all its fuel just getting airborne....ah yes but the Russians and Chinese dont know that....till they waste time and energy re engineering it

[Kiltrash]

Having been returned to the Carrier, Bin Laden's burial at Sea pictures are finally released. The Admiral said it's how he would have wanted to go.

[Kiltrash]

With the blessing of HMTQ her namesake fired off her ex favourite Son as they cruised just off Long Island ...

[Kiltrash]

Yes but the Brits will buy it, they want all our old tat...

[Kiltrash]

" PULL "
and so the USN Clay Pigeon team gets in some well needed practice

[Kiltrash]

This?? Its just proof of concept, next week it's 892 's mess piano

[Kiltrash]

Onboard HMAS Melbourne Djokovich finally gets the message his Visa has been revoked

Ps HMAS Melbourne the only Commonwealth Warship to have sunk 2 Friendly warships ...unlucky or what

[treadigraph]

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/818x649/image_da22cf390c8b8595d12851f813c6c0d1eb68a64d.jpeg

Deliveroo's new Carrier Onboard Delivery service departs back to base after supplying 74 pizzas, 23 vindaloos, 18 chow meins, a dozen KFCs and five COD and chips to eager matelots...

Ps HMAS Melbourne the only Commonwealth Warship to have sunk 2 Friendly warships ...unlucky or what

(:( Unaware of those accidents, the first occurred the day before I was born... )

[NutLoose]

That Thunderbird 2 launching looks smaller in real life Number one..

[Chu Chu]

Who was supposed to remove the intake cover?

[Kiltrash]

Captain,.... The Admirals asked what happened to his Jet (&) Ski

[treadigraph]

This is the new fog dispersal system? Hmmmm, I think I detect a tiny flaw...

[andytug]

"Like I said Sir, it doesn't matter how many JATOs you attach to the ship, you won't get any more knots out of it....."

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Kettle's boiled!

[NutLoose]

Yes, I can see how the MOD say's it's a cheaper option than retrofitting a built in catapult system, by supplying us with some on deck rocket powered wheeled launching sleds, but how do we attach our jets to it?

[NutLoose]

So that's the concept proved Sir, all we need to do it hook it up to the front of a bowser and we can deice the decks...
That's all well and good Hoskins, but you do realise our decks are wooden..

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

G G G Gee Mr T T T Tracey, Th Th Th This isn't w w w working. W W W We need t t t find a a a an island.

[Ascend Charlie]

"Tell Able Seaman Coffman that his idea for starting an engine doesn't work!"

[Kiltrash]

Wow that's impressive Mr Scientist, bet that has a big explosion...
Not exactly Mr Congressman it gets to the target and it plays a Mr Trump / Johnson / Morrison speech , scares them to surrender

[Kiltrash]

Additional booze run delivery to Downing Street

( the gift that keeps on giving )

[Kiltrash]

Very impressive what's the guidance system??
15 Year old student in Montana Beijing ..amazing how good this 5G is now

[cattletruck]

Able Seaman Burns lights up what he thought was the BBQ.

[Buster Hyman]

Well Hoskins, that's one hell of a Gender reveal!

[Dan Gerous]

It's the new defence minister's idea Sir. He said it looks a lot more impressive than some puffs of steam!

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/818x649/image_da22cf390c8b8595d12851f813c6c0d1eb68a64d.jpeg

[Chu Chu]

(H) Okay, Sir, I shot the Regulus. It turned out I didn't need the sextant you gave me.

[NutLoose]

Ok, hold on Hoskins, we’re about to self isolate you.

[treadigraph]

OK Perkins, you proved your point, catering tins of baked beans three months or more past their use by date SHOULD be dumped overboard...

[treadigraph]

Heath Robinson brews tea for the ship's company.

[OMAAbound]

I told the wife there was a sale on at Next, she was off like a rocket!

OMAAbound

[Kiltrash]

Are you sure the package coordinates said Croydon.???
Well can only improve the locale

[Kiltrash]

( one for Buster )
Everton descide to fire the manager ...watch this space ...

[Kiltrash]

I'd like Tony to get a HDR of this in flight over Flamborough Head

[Kiltrash]

Donno what catagory AvHerald are gonna put this in

Ps Apologies just back from Footy with a away win and Alcohol involved .

[Ninthace]

I reckon if we moved that launch ramp to the front of the flight deck and made it a bit longer ...

[fitliker]

Jankers you say ? Oh for the good old days and keel hauling , these fancy rockets are so loud you cannot hear them screaming their contritions and promises to behave in the future .

[fitliker]

This has to be the exception to the rule, that anything is a sex toy if you are brave enough ?

[NutLoose]

Damn, it’s an agent orange discharge, look the skippers gold oak leaves have fallen off his hat

[Dan Gerous]

Were calling it a "Boozegramme" Prime Minister. Apparently those RAF chappies tried this in WWII with barrels of beer on Spitfire's

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/818x649/image_da22cf390c8b8595d12851f813c6c0d1eb68a64d.jpeg

[Dan Gerous]

"What chemtrails"?

[Kiltrash]

Ref Dan above, Not a caption, picture from Solent Aviation Museum in Southampton..

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1124/20210812_105057_aba993d7e1b9cd0b778e66834cd4e0cb6b718f4f.jpg
I return you to your normal programming

[Kiltrash]

Well I think its one of them new fangled Steam Powered Torpedoes I heard the Japs are using.. Must have midget stokers to keep the boilers lit..

[Kiltrash]

USN devise a way to get rid off the trash, moves it 10 miles from the boat to keep the Japs off knowing our location...
Sir would it not be easier to just weigh the bags with lumps of chefs sticky pudding, guaranteed to make ANYTHING sink without a trace

[Kiltrash]

Never return to a lit firework even if you think it has gone out

[Chu Chu]

Okay, the satellite's clear. We can put the cotton wool away now.

[NutLoose]

It’s there are two puffs coming out the back of it, not poofs.


…

[cavuman1]

The carrier's bridge was enveloped in smoke. Visibility dropped to zero. The carrier then rammed the lighthouse. WWIII ensued. Some missile test, eh?

[Wensleydale]

The carrier's bridge was enveloped in smoke. Visibility dropped to zero. The carrier then rammed the lighthouse. WWIII ensued. Some missile test, eh?

Somewhat similar perhaps? Lighthouse Vs. Ship - YouTube

[Chu Chu]

Quick! Get below and stop the Christmas pantomime. Tell them whatever they do, the can't light the smoke pots.

[fitliker]

To paraphrase Sgt shut up “ never seen such a blatant display of puffery “

[Self loading bear]

You know they were right when they said “It flies like it is on rails”

[treadigraph]

Wizzo, the novelty rocket, start your parties with a real BANG!

[ORAC]

No runners up, but I’ll award the winner to Nutloose with his “He said his name was Hammond and not to worry, he’s done this sort of thing before.”

[NutLoose]

Ooohhh thank you :) open house to those with less than 10 wins :)

[Senior Pilot]

Ooohhh thank you :) open house to those with less than 10 wins :)

Hmmm, RHIP? Have we had this one?


https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/950x1440/b9469617_0778_472d_850d_6c9010fee7de_fb6ae2e3bd88f8f0294ea88 61c5159398df5e2f4.jpeg

[Wensleydale]

the new German Air Defence System....der Micky Mauser!

[Wensleydale]

An old album is discovered - allegedly containing photographs of Elton John's wedding party.

[treadigraph]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/950x1440/b9469617_0778_472d_850d_6c9010fee7de_fb6ae2e3bd88f8f0294ea88 61c5159398df5e2f4.jpeg


Noise pollution in Worthing had reached levels such that the old folk needed every aid going to sustain conversation...

[Ascend Charlie]

The trial of Eye-Pods linked to Ear-Pods, was not a great success.

[Asturias56]

The Walt Disney Berlin office TA new look

[treadigraph]

Early German sci-fi movies were not critical or financial successes,,,

[OMAAbound]

Even in Germany, the men are not happy with their wives choices!

OMAA

[Wensleydale]

"Vernichten!!"

[Kiltrash]

Early Cyberperson design

[Kiltrash]

Now Strictly com Dancing goes overboard to please the LGBTQ+ faction

[Kiltrash]

The Covid Police accuse them of not wearing approved face masks

[Kiltrash]

Early trials of the new German 2 man midget submarine equipment shows promise as they were trialled at Berlin Lido

[ShyTorque]

Speak no evil was unfortunately too busy to attend.

[Dan Gerous]

Despite awareness seminars and protective clothing, Fritz was still making people nervous with his inappropriate touching.

[treadigraph]

Von Hoskins! The problem with the mess latrines is the smell, not the sounds nor indeed the visuals! Stupid boy...

[Chu Chu]

Though effective, this early fast food restaurant's solution to misheard orders never caught on.

[SLXOwft]

After the Bundesverfassungsgericht ruled hearing and eyesight tests for aircrew were discriminatory and incompatible with the Basic Law, the Luftwaffe announced it had successfully searched its archives for a solution.

[treadigraph]

Irrefutable proof that men are indeed from Mars...

[Chu Chu]

The blind leading the blind.

[622]

Cinema night at the Berlin Odeon was about to become a lot more immersive!

[Buster Hyman]

Nuttys Captioneers seen on a rare break.

Hmmm, RHIP? Have we had this one?

Yes, but repeats can't be helped.

[622]

"We don't look stupid do we dear?'

"What?"

"I said WE DONT LOOK STUPID DO WE DEAR?"

"WHAT?"

"...Oh never mind..."

[Kiltrash]

On the German beach the Nazi version of Von Punch and Herr Judy was found terribly funny to the Hitler Youth

[Kiltrash]

....and then Herr Logie Baird invented Subtitle's
oh and 50 " 4k UHD ...

[Kiltrash]

At the Dartford Crossing toll booth coin catchers became all the rage so the traffic did not have to stop.

[Kiltrash]

It is I Leclere. .. ( Allo Allo )

[Kiltrash]

At Roswell the X Files agents try to blend in

[Kiltrash]

With this equipment we avoid paying the BBC licence fee....we look into and hear the neighbours telly.
or
Prince Harry your Met protection has arrived ...
or
We can clearly hear and see the Asylum Seekers getting near the French coast so we can deploy our assets more efficiently. Scramble 5 flight ...

[NutLoose]

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/950x1440/image_ea4b3e6dca484f02a209f64e3b8f378c8a283857.jpeg

[cavuman1]

Beer goggles + stereo mini-foghorns! What could possibly go wrong?

- Ron Popeil

[cynicalint]

I can see a loud smell!

[Ascend Charlie]

These items could safely detect a fart at 200 metres, and fortunately the nosepieces were not connected.

[622]

The "Kraftfahrzeugipoden-Haftpflichtseeandhearversicherungbungeneyetrumpeter" proved promising...but the name would need some tweaking!

[Kiltrash]

( Indian Voice )
.....and with a monthly payment of ONLY $ 6 you can upgrade to the latest technology with this 6G Audio Visual headset, so real you will think you really are on the surface off the moon. Please can i have your card details. .

[Senior Pilot]

Moving on quickly (of course), and runners up who made me chuckle:

Kiltrash with "At the Dartford Crossing toll booth coin catchers became all the rage so the traffic did not have to stop."

Buster Hyman with "Nuttys Captioneers seen on a rare break."

and for the next Caption post, winner is....

Wensleydale with "An old album is discovered - allegedly containing photographs of Elton John's wedding party."

Thankyoueverymuch Ladies and Gentlemen 🤡

[Wensleydale]

Thank you old chap. I will continue with this.....


https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/583x417/picture2_64464338ce0612696da7470acf8ea3b93cd00162.jpg

[Chu Chu]

Hoskins could never keep "traverse" and "transvestite" straight, so he was taking no chances.

[treadigraph]

Little Bo Peep and pals have lost their sheep, so they've joined the Royal Artillery...

[622]

..When I said we would have to drag them around.....what I meant was...

[treadigraph]

This is a dress rehearsal for the big show...

[treadigraph]

"Ivor Biggun, which plays hell with me knickers..."

[Kiltrash]

At Walmington-on-sea the home guards uniforms went missing in the wash, The Captain sent them to Pvt Pike to get new clothes...

[Buster Hyman]

The Lilliput 'Men' find Thors Hammer.

[Kiltrash]

The Canadians having scaled the cliffs were surprised to find the Germans Fancy Dress party frocks, so commandeered them as a war prize.

[Buster Hyman]

Oh, I thought you said "Wears my Frock n Artillery"

[Kiltrash]

At Dover it was felt the Germans would not be cads and invade at Easter

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Modern remake of "The Guns of Navarone", with mandatory extra inclusivity.

[Chu Chu]

The real reason Pioneer-Sergeant Kunze stormed Fort Douaumont.

[fitliker]

There is a place for everyone in the modern Army . Do not lie about your particulars lest you end up in the wrong regiment .

Regiments no longer being mustered under geographic draws, more along the lines of what kind of drawers are being worn .

The no knickers crowd might find themselves in the Cameron Highlanders as that is their regimental dress with emphasis on the mental ya bas :)

[Chu Chu]

18 months without an unannounced exercise, and now this. I knew we shouldn't told Command about our little drama night.

[Local Variation]

'That's the last time they mock us as big girl's blouses.'

[Hydromet]

The cast of "It Ain't half Hot, Mum" are transferred to the dropshorts.

[Ascend Charlie]

Obviously, they all dress to the left...

[Kiltrash]

In Gibraltar / Singapore the men thought they were on a cushty number then the enemy attacked from the land....TURN THE GUNS LADS..

[Kiltrash]

Owing to a mix up in the camouflage department the men were issued with White Artic clothing. ...Needed to find something more suitable for the jungle in the ....Wait for it...Army and Navy stores 😊

[Kiltrash]

The men from HMS Pinafore are drafted onto the land defences

[Ascend Charlie]

"The boss said to skirt around behind them."

[NutLoose]

Just because they stripped him of his commanding officers uniform I don’t see why the rest of us in the Queens Regiment should lose ours

..

[NutLoose]

Trans verse? I don’t know that one, but you hum it and I’ll try to sing it.

[NutLoose]

I think someone was taking the piss when they sent us these new onesie kilts, after all they’re not even plaid.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/583x417/image_917568eb5321b86a99a04b72d620399db9d7d887.jpeg


I tell you what, it’s cut absenteeism, not one of them has wandered off into town.

[NutLoose]

We managed to requisition the gun and crew from HMS Pinafore.

[NutLoose]

Are you sure this is what is meant by dress down Fridays?

[NutLoose]

So I said to the CO, I wouldn’t half mind getting into ‘er dress and giving ‘er 8 inches, how was I know it was ‘is wife, so ‘ere I am manning this bloody 8 inch coastal battery dressed like a flipping tart, how about you?

[treadigraph]

The Colonel has asked me to accompany him to the Officers' Mess dance tonight as his wife is visiting her sister in Minehead.

Ooh, that's nice, lucky you! No one's invited me yet, though the Padre keeps winking at me.

He's not winking, dear, he has a bad tic...

A bad dick eh, fancy!

[Buster Hyman]

Well done Hoskins! That Maypole disguise certainly fooled Gerry!

[Kiltrash]

Ah still think it's a bit bl@@dy stupid putting the barbers shop at the top of a hill...

[Kiltrash]

Something about the Duke of York, 10,000 men and a Hill
MTV Music Video my ar$e

[Kiltrash]

All went well with a clear arc of sight for firing in the defence of London, then the council built Social Housing down range...and called it Croydon

[Kiltrash]

Well this way the German sniper won't know which of us is the Officer

[Kiltrash]

Oh look, i've chipped a nail...Where's the MO. .

[Kiltrash]

I don't like Mondays , it's Wash Day and I've nothing ready to wear

[Kiltrash]

Whatdoyamean we've built this on hill 37b and it should be 37d .... Well said the Captain you did put the women in charge of map reading...

[andytug]

These are NOT the "Devils in Skirts" that I asked for, Hoskins!!!!

[treadigraph]

Oh, I'm a Gunner and I'm OK
I drag up at night and I fight all day...

[Buster Hyman]

Well this way the German sniper won't know which of us is the Officer
...He'll just shoot us all! Crap!

[NutLoose]

Just wait until Beagle gets a flash of my webbing, 'e'll soon forget that Susan York...

[Chu Chu]

The lesser-know return of the Angels of Mons.

[Chu Chu]

Not bad, but let's see you do it in heels.

[NutLoose]

Are you coming to the dance tonight Bert? rumour has it that Yank wiff the stockings will be there..

[NutLoose]

I 'eard Corporal Clinger has taken to wearing 'is uniform again as 'e can't be declared insane if we are all wearing dresses.

[The Nr Fairy]

This isn't the first time a man's lied to me about the size of his weapon.

[Chu Chu]

Okay I admit it. The traversing mechanism is indeed worthless. But I was wrong when I said fairies wouldn't move the gun for us.

[NutLoose]

She’s BEHIND youuuuuuu!!!!!!!!

[Kiltrash]

...and that's why ladies you should not mix your whites with your coloureds in the wash.....

[NutLoose]

So he said, do you want to see my helmet and I said, no thanks I’ve already got one.

[NutLoose]

I see Bo Peep’s been put on barrel duties again..

[NutLoose]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/583x417/image_94b9da35e8b99075c057c274d57ee3b815756654.jpeg


Aunt Sally’s prepare to return the balls..

[Kiltrash]

Mrs Hoskins accidentally reversed her tank into the hole in the ground. ...OK let's leave it there and call it a planned gun emplacement

[Kiltrash]

More Lube, you can never have too much lube

[Kiltrash]

Surley if this is a Navel gun it would be better protected against corrosion? ?
Don't call me Surley, It's Captain Shirley to you ..

[Kiltrash]

Captain it's not moving...
Well it might help if all you ladies were to push at the same time....you know PUUUSH like the midwife taught you...

[Kiltrash]

At Gibraltar it was never a good plan to pay the men in peanuts ....look what you get

[OMAAbound]

"If we put dresses on, maybe they won't shoot at us!"

OMAA

[NutLoose]

I didn't think the boss meant this when he said he was going to give us a good dressing down.

[Buster Hyman]

The Nuns of Navarone.

[Chu Chu]

When I invited you to lay my gun, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

[fitliker]

Be gentle Ladies , you don’t want this gun going off early .

[fitliker]

All this pushing , shoving and prancing about , it better be worth it when it goes bang

[NutLoose]

Reload, come on Polly, fill her…

[fitliker]

Are skirts and petticoats regulated by the Kings Regulations or the Queens Regulations ?
Question for junior occifers !

Pay peanuts get monkeys, pay peanuts and bananas get fat monkeys !

[Kiltrash]

As Boris restlessly slumbered in his bunker, he kept having the recurring dream that Sue Gray was comming for him...

[Kiltrash]

During WW1 patriotism encourage whole business to sign up as " Pals Battalions " and the Pantomime Dames section were kept all together

[Kiltrash]

Due to a shortage of fresh uniform for the conscripted troops the previously used Argyle and Sutherland equipment was re issued. ..and thats where " Going Commando " came from...

[NutLoose]

'ere Bert, 'ave a look around the back and see if you can see anyone ready to score this one.

[Kiltrash]

Betty Lou, are you sure this gun will fit into your handbag??

homage to Meatloaf

[Wensleydale]

Time to judge, and the winner is Treadigraph with:

This is a dress rehearsal for the big show...

Well done - take it away.

[treadigraph]

Many thanks Wensleydale - I'm out and about over the next few days, so I'd like to throw it open to anybody who has a suitable pic just begging for an inappropriate caption...

[NutLoose]

No problem, try this one.

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/962x642/image_e2c19f633fd3f5c4564fd992d1878de01ad14b32.jpeg

[Hydromet]

"Mine's this big!"
"That's nothing, mine's this big."

[Ascend Charlie]

"...and you gave her the clap??"

[Ascend Charlie]

"and I asked her how old she really was, and she said "How old would you like me to be, big boy?" and I broke into a sweat just thinking about it."

[Kiltrash]

Well we both got a Reprieve sanctioned by Mummy,

[Kiltrash]

Have you heard the one about the Prince, The showgirl and the Nun??

[Kiltrash]

Don't look now but the think the filly behind us fancies your arSe

[Kiltrash]

Filly behind.....( thinks ) Why am i always seated next to the nutters??
or
Shussh you two, they are playing the Last Post

[Kiltrash]

So that's agreed then, we both hope HMTQ lasts forever, in her old age she's to doddery to throw us out, Unlike Charles would have us looking out at HMS Belfast all the time

​​​​​​

[treadigraph]

Not a caption: Thanks Nutty!

Caption: Thinks "Nutter!"

[Kiltrash]

...and finally from me as I'm off to a family wake till Monday. .Yes it was Covid 😑

I hear you offered to hold Daddy's Funeral in the House of Commons and call it Unrestricted Government Business as a apologies to Mummy after That party

[MPN11]

(My condolences, Kiltrash)


Mrs J idly wonders if A is better than B in bed.

[Dan Gerous]

...and I bet my jail term is bigger than yours.

[Dan Gerous]

Do you and the missus fancy a pizza after this?

[Dan Gerous]

When you see my mum next week, can you ask her to clear the hard drive on my PC.

[treadigraph]

My guess this is all Harry and Meghan's doing, draw the heat of them... Not that they mind the heat...

[Local Variation]

''......and the fifth one is my Jim'll fix it badge.'

[Dan Gerous]

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/962x642/image_e2c19f633fd3f5c4564fd992d1878de01ad14b32.jpeg

[Self loading bear]

As we are both looking for a new role;
Shall we apply at the Voice of Holland?
I heard they have 2 seats to be filled

[treadigraph]

I say Boris, I see you took my advice and are now using Harmony hairspray....

Actually Your Highness, it's natural hair control. You see, I DO sweat...

[Self loading bear]

You are invited to my party next weekend.
I have the booze but due to some circumstances you have to bring your own boobs.

[MPN11]

“thank you, YRH, but I have my own tottie available at all times …”

[MPN11]

“What about a new Order … The Ignoble Order of the Random Fly-button?”

[MPN11]

Mrs J: “Is it my imagination, or is HRH sweating a bit?”

[Dan Gerous]

You couldn't get me a few years at that villa you stayed at, could you?

[DirtyProp]

Say, where can I get some of those fancy pins like yours?

[Dan Gerous]

You've pulled mate. Looks like you'll be getting your bollocks sweaty tonight.

[NutLoose]

Ok. Last orders, scoring on the morrow...

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

And then Jeff said to me that I could pay him back later, so........

[Tashengurt]

"So Boris, any room in that fridge for me?"

[Tashengurt]

"The Plebs think we're worried! Bless 'em!"

[Kiltrash]

Mrs J...
Well he's not only screw@d me but he's Royally screw@d the country as well...

[Kiltrash]

Had a mesages from Mummy, all my titles and honours have been stripped from me....
Don't worry i'll give you a peerage and send you to the House of Lords...

[Kiltrash]

....just say your recollection is different....works every time for me...

[MPN11]

“Do you believe in Karma, Prime Minister?”

”Oh, any curry works well for me. But a vindaloo does make me sweat.”

[Dan Gerous]

Just ignore the comments, another picture will be along soon to take their tiny minds off us.

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/962x642/image_e2c19f633fd3f5c4564fd992d1878de01ad14b32.jpeg

[Buster Hyman]

500 years ago, I’d have been a hero!

[DirtyProp]

Remind me again, why are we clapping?
No idea, I'm just doing what everyone else does....

[MPN11]

Carrie fails to see the joke about wallpaper on private jets.

[NutLoose]

Ojk I better score this pair of reprobates,

WINNER
Dan with
Just ignore the comments, another picture will be along soon to take their tiny minds off us.

RUNNER UP
Ascend Charlie with

"and I asked her how old she really was, and she said "How old would you like me to be, big boy?" and I broke into a sweat just thinking about it."

ALSO RAN

Self loading bear

You are invited to my party next weekend.
I have the booze but due to some circumstances you have to bring your own boobs.

Ok over to Dan, will shoot the Trophy over via the Nord 2 pipeline..

[Dan Gerous]

Thanks NutLoose. Let's ignore the politicians for a while and get onto an aviation themed pic. Get stuck into this before it sets.

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x466/prune_8__cd48ec3cf12b4c54aaa22f7935ba1aa49e43bb5f.jpg

[Kiltrash]

East end Hitman flies in and out. Any witnesses assumed to be on Crack Cocaine

[cavuman1]

She flies beautifully, but when you select full flaps, she comes down like a two-wheeled concrete mixer!

- Ed

[Ascend Charlie]

Yes, powered by clean electricity, but the range is limited by the length of the extension cord.

[fitliker]

Early Mk 1 Wimpey cement delivery for council high rise developments , stopped by cement workers union as the wawcons of the pilots was not proportional or acceptable to the brickies collective agreement

[treadigraph]

A little known early prototype from Piasecki, the Pathmaker needed quite a lot of ballast...

Or

Sikorsky Pave Low - the early years...

[cynicalint]

This toilet sucks!

[Wensleydale]

Early trials of the F2 AI Radar proved unsuccessful....

[Wensleydale]

Due to the increased holding times, student RAF pilots were detailed to attend a foundation course.

[fitliker]

Aerodynamic as a brick outhouse , but just as tough

The main advantage is the two storey service ceiling , at which the bricks you will be dropping when the disc starts to wobble will land pre-mortared

[Self loading bear]

The void left by Enstrom’s demise was filled by a stopgap measure which showed to be quick settling (with power)

[Self loading bear]

New Sikorsky S-92 transmission easily reached 30 minutes run dry time aslong as water was added after 3 quarter hours.

[ShyTorque]

The NPAS committee announce that their replacement aircraft for the VulcanAir P68 will soon be set in concrete.

[Ascend Charlie]

To preflight the rotor blades, the makers cleverly installed steps in the side of the cockpit. However, with forward cyclic, the steps (made by Lada) made a rattling noise.

[NutLoose]

And it will wash your clothes inflight.

[Wensleydale]

During the subsequent police chase, the bank robbers' car was involved in a collision with a cement mixer. A Scotland Yard spokesman later stated that they had arrested two hardened criminals.

[treadigraph]

There's mortar flying helicopters than Bloggs had realised...

or...

"Notar"? I thought it said "mortar"

[Wensleydale]

Chopped Jaguar pilot Brian had graduated from mud-moving to mud-mixing.

[cameltruck]

When the motor stopped he started laying bricks.

[Kiltrash]

...as a additional service to Builders we not only deliver to site all your construction needs we also collect your McDonalds order as well. No excuse to give the householder you just need to pop off for some bits or lunch.

[Chu Chu]

The subsequent investigation failed to determine why the pilot had overlooked the missing jesus nut on preflight.

[Chu Chu]

Clever. But wouldn't it have been simpler just to fit skids?

[Local Variation]

FAA Principle Flight Engineer takes to the controls of Boeing's new helicopter for the first time.

[ShyTorque]

"See? Converting to plank wings was easier than I thought!"

[treadigraph]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x466/prune_8__cd48ec3cf12b4c54aaa22f7935ba1aa49e43bb5f.jpg

[treadigraph]

One of Scrap Heap Challenge's less successful entries...

[NutLoose]

I’m just hoping the gyro doesn’t topple..

[NutLoose]

While the Wessex was built like the proverbial brick ****house, the Puma was built along the lines of the cement that held them together.

[NutLoose]

Having just returned from the sandbox, cement powder was added.

[Self loading bear]

Does this new tilt rotor design ring a Bell?

[Kiltrash]

whatdoyoumean there's no dual control?
or
Police Merseyside regretted parking overnight at Speke
or
New Ch4 show premiers.....' The Flying Chefhouse '.... well i think it says Chef

[Kiltrash]

Test Pilots Union claim their members are not paid enough and publish Mr Robinsons latest design as evidence

[Kiltrash]

Captain Brown, your new captured enemy aircraft is ready for you...

[Kiltrash]

Reporter....Very good but one last question before you show what it can do. Are you not just a little bit worried ?
Designer...Absolutely Bricking it.....

[622]

..and an added bonus is that it comes pre fitted with the blue circle radar!

[Kiltrash]

Early design of a Dalek that is not flummoxed by stairs

[andytug]

The unseen pilot episode of "Blue Circle Thunder".

[Wensleydale]

The accident was caused by the co-pilot calling "Rotate" at an inopportune moment.

[NutLoose]

It's our Blue Circle radar system.

[treadigraph]

After the war, several former members of 617Sqn formed a company to develop aerial application of cement products in difficult locations. The named their venture "The Dambuilders"...

[622]

"I love the smell of brick dust in the morning"

[treadigraph]

Well, I flew helicopters from Portland... it seemed like a logical progression...

[622]

Pilot "You think I have a rough ride?......it's the Loadie in the back you want to feel sorry for!"