Caption Competition Mk III

[Chu Chu]

With in-flight refueling mastered, the next frontier was in-flight recrewing.

[Kiltrash]

As the train goes through Duxford the guard announce the next stop is Edinburgh. Realising he was on the wrong service. Treadigraph pulls the communication chord .

[Ninthace]

Hoskins demonstrates the new SpaceX seat. It not only removes you safely from the ac but also lowers you back into your favourite spot in the mess anteroom. The PMC has a few reservations about the burns in the carpet though.

[Kiltrash]

At Duxford the Link trainer gets a makeover just in time for the reopening before the school holidays
Should keep Sharkey happy for days.

[Chu Chu]

Nav steps out to ask for directions.

[MPN11]

Capt. Martin decided he’d had enough of his talkative WSO, Lt. Baker.

[MPN11]

Capt. Morgan had had enough of anti-RAF comments from Lt. Ward.

[cattletruck]

That was some vindaloo.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

After testing Space-X's new crew seat, Hoskins was heard to ask "Couldn't I just use a ladder to get in?"

[NutLoose]

You can't have got us lost again Nav, Wait, there is a road sign, go and bloody read it then let me know on the radio where we are....

[Chu Chu]

The new aircrew retention initiative fell short of expectations.

[622]

Flt Lt Hoskins could could take no more tales from the front seat about how great pilots were!

[Kiltrash]

Lord Alan gives the Bae Apprentice the bad news

[Ninthace]

Little did the WSO know the pilot knew about his dalliance with the pilot's wife and had attached a cable between his seat and the cockpit floor. When that went tight, he would not dally any more!

[622]

Does this mean you are sending me solo Sir?

[cynicalint]

Oh b0II0x!

[Kiltrash]

Only when they re checked the plan, the dummy was meant to be sitting in the rear seat.
Well in Australia it's a simple mistake to make

[Kiltrash]

Subsequently the transiting Blue 2 engineer needed a crash course in landing

[Ninthace]

Why is there a GoPro attached to a boom next to the cockpit? Ooooh sh........ . . . . . t!

[Kiltrash]

Ryanair ( Canada ) hits on a cost effective way to deliver the odd passenger wanting off on the ' Milk Run ' round British Columbia.
MOL said on Twitter.." Saves all this messing around with landing patterns. Now off to work on the pick up method .."

( Other Social Media platforms are available. )

[Chu Chu]

Due to a weather-related diversion, the aircraft was unable to land before the social distancing order went into effect.

[NutLoose]

Hey Goose, I’ve asked the tower requesting a flyby for you.

[NutLoose]

Play it again SAM. (Surface to air man )

[NutLoose]

Maverick hated Charades, but he was sure Goose was doing RocketMan by Elton John.

[Monarch Man]

"Whaddya mean its a BIG spider"

[Kiltrash]

No wait i'v fixed it, removed the blinking red warning fire light

[Kiltrash]

The toilet blocks getting awfully close i'm outta here.

[Ascend Charlie]

OK, a quick game is a fast game.

Trophy for the most relevant recent event, where the newspapers can't work out if it's a Dutch F-16 or Belgian, goes to Kiltrash.
The toilet blocks getting awfully close i'm outta here.

Trophy on its way after it is recovered from Nutty's parachute pack.

[Kiltrash]

Oh Many thanks AC. Currently on the road back from Zumerset....again . Be home 'bout 6 pm UK (.M25 by Heathrow permitting..) so have a look then for a fresh pic ...
K

[NutLoose]

But that was a crap entry, he's taking the peeeesss :p

[Ninthace]

East from Somerset? God's country lies in the opposite direction!

[Kiltrash]

.. and as the proud holder of the Cap Com trophy made it home in good time, thank you Friday M25, amazed I am, I give you..

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x576/51161279880_5dc6410906_b_f17e66570d000893abce7b1daa680d4a041 44627.jpg

[Ninthace]

You mean that is not a picture of your arrival home?

[Ascend Charlie]

The Pommy exchange officer gets a message about showering more frequently.

[MPN11]

Lt. Hoskinski’s ejaculations were famous …

[622]

Precautions against COVID stepped up for arriving aircrew…..simple hand sanitising is no longer deemed sufficient.

[622]

Oops….wrong person…

[SASless]

That Bird is big....the airplane too!

[Wensleydale]

Meanwhile, in the fire engine waiting at the back door.....

[MPN11]

The celebrations were because someone remembered to instal the chocks, and the buildings were saved.

[Dan Gerous]

Flying and drinking, does it get any better.

[NutLoose]

Even Bitching Betty from the cockpit got into the celebrations.

[NutLoose]

That’ll teach you not to wash.

[Chu Chu]

Tired of her husband bringing "little presents" home to her, Mrs. Hoskins hears that bubbles can prevent the transmission of Covid.

[NutLoose]

He didn’t even mind one of them using beer, but he drew the line at the cheap guy pissing on his leg.

[Buster Hyman]

Do you think that Astra Zeneca dose is a little excessive?

[NutLoose]

Now I can’t fly , I’m soaking wet and I’m only allowed to carry 100ml of fluid in a clear plastic bag

[NutLoose]

Welcome to Australia, please ensure you are fully covered in DDT.

[NutLoose]

We need to make you look like you have been sweating before you go in front of the press, we realise it was a record breaking sortie, but if they ever find out the autopilot flew it all while you sampled the delights of the galley, our credibility will be destroyed.

[Wensleydale]

...and then the pilot arrived to inform them that POTUS always used the rear door.....

[Ninthace]

In Lt. Hoskins the Third Jnr's opinion, the ditching drills still lacked realism.

[SASless]

Congratulations all around.....the Nav found her way to the Aircraft and brought the Sammies!

[Kiltrash]

Last orders, judging at the end of the F1 today ...

[Wensleydale]

It was later discovered that the flight deck smoke alarm activation was a false alarm.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

While Lt Col. J Edgar Hoskins III appreciated the effort....But really?.....After every landing??

[treadigraph]

In honour of your last mission, Skip. Budget cuts means it lemonade rather than bubbly and the fire engine salute has been pared down to Sergeant Towser widdling on the nose wheel, but only after he's drunk his lemonade...

[Dan Gerous]

Make the most of it Captain, you won't see anything like this amount of liquid flow, when you convert to the KC46

[Dan Gerous]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x576/51161279880_5dc6410906_b_f17e66570d000893abce7b1daa680d4a041 44627.jpg

[Chu Chu]

The nose art was subsequently deemed insensitive to Staff.

[SASless]

Always the same....Bertha got left doing the Windows while the boys acted like the Jokers they were.

[Kiltrash]

In joint runner up we have Nutty with

Welcome to Australia, please ensure you are fully covered in DDT.

and Treadi with

In honour of your last mission, Skip. Budget cuts means it lemonade rather than bubbly and the fire engine salute has been pared down to Sergeant Towser widdling on the nose wheel, but only after he's drunk his lemonade...

There can only be one winner and that honour this time goes to 622 with

Precautions against COVID stepped up for arriving aircrew…..simple hand sanitising is no longer deemed sufficient.

[622]

Many thanks…..try this:

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/550x412/e96426ec_846d_4e3b_98c3_3b9543140611_31a3cc834c5d555f43c1593 b91e38fd61a5924e9.jpeg

[treadigraph]

Maverick takes his egos on a cheque ride...

[treadigraph]

If they have to eject, it will be like the 4th of July... wait, it IS the 4th of July...

[SASless]

US FMS sells surplus aircraft prior to the RAF after a thorough dusting out and addition of extra NAV seating and toaster ovens, Latte brewers, and Lounge Chairs.

[treadigraph]

The Iranian Air Force is down to one serviceable F-14, so to keep the crews current...

[Wensleydale]

The Diversity Tsar insists upon representation of all minorities in each aircraft.....

[Wensleydale]

Due to a clerical error, the draft papers for the Osmonds arrived by the same post.

[treadigraph]

Bloody hell Snodgrass, what HAVE you been snorting?

[Ninthace]

It was supposed to be a two seater but the chap in Abbey Wood placing the order had a bit of a stutter.

[SASless]

Pilot, Nav, HSE Rep, Diversity Monitor, CRM Moderator, PR Photographer....wheels up and ready for a RTB call to be followed by Tea and Medals.

[NutLoose]

I said I wanted a pee, not I want to feel like a pea.

[NutLoose]

Fox 2 pass it on
Fox too? pass it on
Fox you? pass it on
Forks you? pass it on
F*ck you? Skipper.
Charming….

[fitliker]

It’s a banana .

How to disarm a man armed with a banana ?

“Send three and four pence , we are going too a dance “

[NutLoose]

I’m all for embedded reporters within the military on active service, but this is getting bloody ridiculous.

[NutLoose]

Eject Eject Eject..
Eject Eject Eject..
Eject Eject Eject..
Eject Eject Eject..
Eject Eject Eject..
Pardon?

[NutLoose]

You do realise if we get shot down the guy will become an instant ace.

[Hydromet]

Now that is a tight formation.

[Kiltrash]

USN take the ' 6 indoors ' Covid restriction literally '

[Wensleydale]

The RAF Bobsleigh Team gets some new equipment.

[Kiltrash]

Well I used to have a 2 seat open top sports car, then the wife got pregnent and I needed the family version.. when the scan showed quads

[Wensleydale]

"Join the Fighter Control Branch* and be the 7th pair of eyes in the cockpit"!!

(* ...or whatever they are calling themselves this week).

[Kiltrash]

Too close for missiles switching to guns. ..
Guns ? Thought the spec called for 6 bums

[Kiltrash]

Owing to a accident in the Airfix factory later it was discovered the canopy production machine overfilled the box's at the expense of decals.

[Kiltrash]

This should cause havoc in the ' What Cockpit ' competition

[Kiltrash]

Treadigraph logged this as as a " What have you seen on your computer "

[treadigraph]

2030 - The newly independent Scottish Defence Force's first aircraft is an elderly modified product from the famous Grumman Irn Bru Works...

[ShyTorque]

“Any disadvantages?”

”Yes, dividing up the hours for the crew logbooks is a nightmare!”

—————————-

Designed to cater for the requirements of the lawyers, the accountants and the health and safety committees. Take them along. Of course, the project failed when the aircraft never got as far as the runway.

[Dan Gerous]

What did you do in the Gulf War Grandpa?
I was a tail gunner on Tomcats.

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/550x412/e96426ec_846d_4e3b_98c3_3b9543140611_31a3cc834c5d555f43c1593 b91e38fd61a5924e9.jpeg

[Dan Gerous]

The fighter jocks flatly refused to use the COD C2 to join the carrier at sea.

[Chu Chu]

No, no. I said to be sure we had enough canapes for everyone.

[Chu Chu]

Well, the nav kept getting lost, so we added a second one to watch him. But then . .

[Chu Chu]

The spec said there had to be a 99% chance of a successful ejection. With this arrangement, we can virtually guarantee one.

[cattletruck]

Grumman's desperate attempt at achieving better availability by carrying a flight crew comprised of Pilot, Navigator, Engine Mechanic, Avionics Specialist, Airframe Engineer, and Weapons Armourer.

[treadigraph]

The Hoskins conjoined sextuplets were accepted into the military as Naval Aviators. Unfortunately, until a six abreast fighter is invented only Big Al or Little Ned will ever get to fly...

[Kiltrash]

The last 5 winners of the cap comp are invited along for their presentations, piloted of course by Coffman

[Kiltrash]

The BA Touch and go circuit training manager gets a job with the USN. Takes with him the one plane 5 trainee pilots system.
or
The BA Nervous flyer appreciation manager gets a job with the USN. ...etc

[Kiltrash]

The Red Arrows fly in formation a lot better than the Blue Angles. Each aircraft is in the shadow of the next in line and only the pilots heads can be seen.

[Kiltrash]

At Scampton the Red Arrows are able to show each pilot knows exactly the routine of the other members.

[Dan Gerous]

The increase in thrust was accomplished by the back 4 getting out and pushing.

[NutLoose]

Scroggins could understand the logic in having an AE on board, but having I, O, and U along for the ride as well was lost on him.


..

[MPN11]

There was a joke about 144 Navigators, but I guess it doesn’t apply here ..,l

[treadigraph]

The Village People decided to follow their own advice...

[treadigraph]

In case I need to go on instruments, my axemen are Tony on lead, Rog on rhythm and Steve on bass, Mick handles the keyboards and of course, there's Mad Dog on drums. I'm thinking of adding a horn section...

[Kiltrash]

I know on a Carrier Catapult launch it is ' hands off untill airborne ' but we appear to have left the Pilot behind.

[Kiltrash]

ONE of us must know how to fly it..

[Kiltrash]

Pilot thinks.... bad enough having one back seat driver....but five?

( all been there when the M-i-l is with us...)

[SASless]

CRM took on the appearance of a Chinese Fire Drill in the latest rendition of the Tomcat.

[SASless]

"Pilot to Nav....", "Nav to Pilot...Huh?", Nav to Pilot....what?", "Nav to Pilot...Concur!", "Nav to Pilot....turn left Ten 30 Degrees!", "Nav to Pilot...turn right 45 Degrees!".

What could possibly go wrong?

[Ninthace]

The ultimate check ride - quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

[NutLoose]

Ah ahh ahhh ahhh ahhh choo…

[NutLoose]

If Carlsberg did supersonic travel it would be the worlds best supersonic travel.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/550x412/image_e63481db0672115498ffb14a0744e1873f39fab4.jpeg

[SASless]

As Flares were becoming expensive....the NAVAIR Engineers determined adding Ejection Seats would serve a similar purpose at a much reduced cost....as Seaman Recruits could be trained up for the task at minimal expense.

[Kiltrash]

Pilot...Right over Croydon, Bums away...
RIO ...Should not that be Bombs away?..
Pilot... I know what I said...

[Dan Gerous]

And as we flew inverted over the Mig 28, the flash from all the cameras burnt the Mig pilot's retina's out.

[Ascend Charlie]

Snow White could only take 5 of her dwarves with her, so Sleepy (who didn't wake up anyway) and Sneezy (it's Covid season, you know) were left behind.

[fitliker]

If the wheel tappers and shunting union manned an aircraft this might be the future
one to do the take offs
one to do the landings
one for headings
one for altitude
one for the radio
one for the weapons
The one who makes the tea was left behind so it will short sorties only as per the collective agreements ( please note this collective has nought to do with those heliocopters or auto gyros )
they may have to leave the weapons member behind , as they may need a second communications specialist to co-ordinate the intercoms .

[Kiltrash]

Test Pilot, make note to Grumman, still flies a bit nose heavy and and an annoying whine behind my head.

[Kiltrash]

After the unfortunate accident where the Pilot took both hands off the controls to wave at the spotters through the Mach Loop, ' elf and safety ' request overkill on the solution.

[Ascend Charlie]

A politically correct aircraft, satisfying the L, G ,B, T, and Q types, but missed out on the pilot, who was DGW (Dunce and Gecko-Watcher).

[Kiltrash]

Maverick dispaired when Goose brought his Goslings along for the ride

[Kiltrash]

From the back most seat.....
Can I sit up front with daddy please can I can I can I can i can i can i ..
or
i'm gonna be sick
or
I need a wee wee
or ( finally )
I spy with my little eye something beginning with C
..

[Ninthace]

From the back most seat.....
Can I sit up front with dayddy please can I can I can can i can i can i ..
or
i'm gonna be sick
or
I need a wee wee
or ( finally )
I spy with my little eye something beginning with C ..You missed

Are we nearly there yet?

[Dan Gerous]

One more to pick up, looks like Hoskins has the rumble seat again.

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/550x412/image_e63481db0672115498ffb14a0744e1873f39fab4.jpeg

[Dan Gerous]

Hoskins couldn't understand the stony silence from the back. He'd promised his girl in every port a flight, and had expected at least a little excitement.

[Kiltrash]

Well it did say drive through, but don't think tbe fast food outlet expected this. ...but checking the T&C's it's not restricted.

[Kiltrash]

The last US Aircraft out of Bagram was almost overloaded

[Buster Hyman]

Jamaican Bobsled team head off to Tokyo.

[Kiltrash]

Right been up here some time, do you think they have forgotten about us?

[Kiltrash]

Santa finds it a lot easier this way, take the reindeer with you. Get the job done in half the time..

[Kiltrash]

Jolly boys outing to Margate,

[622]

Getting quiet here…so will call this later tonight!

[Ninthace]

Getting quiet here…so will call this later tonight!
https://media3.giphy.com/media/xUA7b30EbtkaMHvRgk/200w.gif?cid=ecf05e472q1q0a4b8ruf704ygu42fs422fkupqfzlrspimm q&rid=200w.gif&ct=g

[Wensleydale]

It was either this or lots of e-scooters...

[Kiltrash]

Hurry up Skip... Put your foot down...The football starts in a hour

[Kiltrash]

Hurry up Mav....Put your foot down... Top Gun 2 comes out soon...

[622]

….and the winner is…

Nutloose with:

You do realise if we get shot down the guy will become an instant ace.

Well done Sir…..and over to you.

[NutLoose]

Thanks will sort out a pic post match.

[NutLoose]

Ok, thank you, I was surprised, see what you can do with Corbyn.


https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/990x659/gettyimages_682610216_1_3030649b41dcccd5d0db814e4684911b1021 2121.jpg

[cynicalint]

Oh my God, without my glasses you look like Diane!

[Ninthace]

Spot the difference. One is a poor dumb animal, the other is a domestic pet. You choose.

[Ninthace]

When I’m elected PM, I shall change the country into a Marxist Leninist Socialist utopia, rather like China or North Korea. That would make you lunch.

[treadigraph]

My god you look ruff!

[treadigraph]

Diane may be going a little Lady Ga Ga these days but you've always been a butt short of a chippy...

[Kiltrash]

Look deeply into my eyes, and you will believe you can be anything you want to be ... said Rex

[Kiltrash]

....are you sure kissing a small child is a vote winner? ..ah well practice here

[Kiltrash]

In the Daily Mail ( where else ) Dog with 5 foot legs becomes Labour Deputy Leader

[Kiltrash]

Rex...thanks mister for the lift, being a small male dog it's always been a problem climbing the stairs

[Kiltrash]

Well thanks mr Corbyn for the lift, sorry but i was in the way to the vets to be treated for incontinence. ..

[Kiltrash]

Corbyn....Yes I can positively say if I was PM I would have the Nuclear release button on my desk at all times..even if I was not in the room
Rex.....Ah Dr Dolittle, please come and tell me what this Politician is saying..
Dolittle....It's ok no one else understands what he is saying

[Wensleydale]

The left wing of the Labour Party look for a leadership candidate with more imagination than Starmer.

[andytug]

"My God Piers, you look even more awful than usual!"

[treadigraph]

Yes, I can lick my own balls but I gather you have Diane to make up for your deficiency in that respect.

[treadigraph]

I gather some people think you are the dog's bollocks; well I can attest to the fact that they are utterly wrong!

[622]

Dog to Corbyn:

"Look mate, all I heard is that one of us is getting neutered for the good of the country.......and I don't think its me"

[cattletruck]

Shock! Dog loses brown nose contest.

[Ninthace]

One of us is barking

[andrewmcharlton]

Even the blue collared have turned against me...

[Ninthace]

Who's a good boy then, who's a good boy? Jeremy is, yes he is!

[Kiltrash]

Auditions are held for the new series of " One man and his dog "
Now Rex all you have to do is gather all the voters, err sheep and coral them in the polling station. If any of them puts their pencil on the Conservatives candidates you bite their ankles.

[Chu Chu]

Spot the wiener.

[Buster Hyman]

Rex: "Thanks for the pat, but I voted for Boris"

[treadigraph]

Jeremy, listen to me. If people say "Oh Jesus Christ" when they see you, it isn't because they think you are some sort of second coming...

[Kiltrash]

Daily Mail Expose..
Corbyn forced to resign when picture surfaces showing him getting friendly with a German.
I feel so betrayed said his wife...

[treadigraph]

I'm sorry, I really ought not to have done that...

Dog: that's OK, wait till you realise what I've done!

[SASless]

All of a sudden it sunk in....his candidacy had been dogged all along.

[SASless]

Being a fan of old American Westerns but suffering from an ability to remember much....he hummed what was not the old Western Song...."Get a Long Little Doggy!".

[Wensleydale]

Corbyn sells out and advertises Insurance.

[Kiltrash]

Corbyn speaks with his adviser...
I know I can rely on the advice you give me, but are you sure it's a good idea knocking on the doors in Islington on Sunday evening asking them to vote for me...

[Kiltrash]

Like the England football team, you promise a lot but fail to deliver.....

[Kiltrash]

With a nose like that you must have a good sense of smell......
Yes and I can smell Bull****

[Wensleydale]

Proof positive that Jeremy Corbyn is barking!!

[Kiltrash]

Look Corbyn, if you want to get into Croydon, you'll have to get past me first, if you think your 'ard enough....

[Kiltrash]

Look i've been interviewed by Emu, so you should be a cinch...

Or for Emu read Piers Morgan...

[Kiltrash]

Don't worry I've had my rabies jab...first, second and waiting for my booster so you can't get me....said Rex


https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/990x659/gettyimages_682610216_1_3030649b41dcccd5d0db814e4684911b1021 2121.jpg

[SASless]

Barkley encounters a real Weasel.

[Ninthace]

Evening Standard entry.
Jeremy Corbyn under investigation by Parliament watchdog
https://apple.news/AOJGeqeLpQgadJ5gTxp5hag

[Kiltrash]

Government watchdog with no bite...

[Kiltrash]

With Cranial ridges like that proof positive Corbyn is a Klingon.

[Kiltrash]

At Battersea, Corbyn goes to pick up a rescue dog...
Dog prefers to be sent back to Syria.

[622]

'Hypno dog' attempts to make JC a better person....

...But after trying for several hours asks to have another go at world peace as at least he has a chance at that!

[Buster Hyman]

Snoopy realised that Charlie Brown was still a loser.

[NutLoose]

Last orders to allow for a fresh one for the weekend. Scoring today.. :) then hopefully watching a couple on Sunday ;)

[622]

. :) then hopefully watching a couple on Sunday ;)

Well, everybody has a hobby.....:E

[NutLoose]

Well, everybody has a hobby.....:E

Cannot stand the game, but oddly I watch the home team.

[treadigraph]

JC: Karl Marx said "religion is the opium of the masses"; he was a wise man.

Rover: He was a ****ing idiot, it's football. No wonder you aren't PM...

[Kiltrash]

Well Rover , If you think England's gonna win the game lick your boll@cks. For Italy lick my nose..
erm JC.. it's a bitch...

[Ninthace]

Last orders to allow for a fresh one for the weekend. Scoring today.. :) then hopefully watching a couple on Sunday ;)
I watched a couple in a cornfield while working the ridge at Halton. Does that count?
The joys of near silent flight.

[Kiltrash]

What do you mean, you want to go dogging? Is it for Nutty's enjoyment?

[Kiltrash]

No...you threw it...You fetch it.

[Kiltrash]

It's all right for you and this 10000 steps a day, for me that's nearer 40000....

[Kiltrash]

Normally we put the mad slobbering animal down...but humans have more rights.

[NutLoose]

Evening Standard entry.
Jeremy Corbyn under investigation by Parliament watchdog
https://apple.news/AOJGeqeLpQgadJ5gTxp5hag

and the winner is…. ninthace

runner up is

Kiltrash with

With Cranial ridges like that proof positive Corbyn is a Klingon.





mine would have been along the lInes of…


Just because I have a long nose does not make me Jewish.

Iiiii am noooot a glove puppet Jeremy

Shhhh, you may not recognise me I’m in disguise, I am a Royal Corgi and have been sent by Betty to tell you to STFU.

[Ninthace]

Oh gawsh. I am honoured. especially as it was not mine but the Evening Standard. I will play of their behalf - standby/

[Ninthace]

Have we tried this one? It is a bit of a sitter.

https://i.postimg.cc/Y02VPWQX/VC10-Incident.jpg (https://postimages.org/)

[NutLoose]

Base the final frontier, these are voyages of the VC10.

[NutLoose]

I say Jones, shimmy up that houchin cable and unplug it, there’s a good chap.

[Kiltrash]

I believe that VC10 chappie Nutloose Hoskins was involved in this one...

[Kiltrash]

Pilot was heard to complain that the latest Digital Watch, Pilot for the use off, was far to light,

[Kiltrash]

Now you tell me they fitted Tank 13 in the tail...

[treadigraph]

I told the Skipper not to go aft till we'd finished loading.

[treadigraph]

Just for once Hoskins you were too early on the round out...

[NutLoose]

Stop arsing around, we have work to do.

[treadigraph]

Hang on lads, I've got a great idea...

[treadigraph]

Bloody RAF with their snooty noses in the air...

[Wensleydale]

Don't worry - it balances back when the pilot sits down on his wallet.

[MPN11]

Very clever. Now get it down again with breaking anything. Bloody Officers and their Mess Games.

[cynicalint]

To the tune of the 'Eton Boating Song':-

"Oh the s3xual life of the VeeSee10
is greater than anyone thinks,
at the height of the mating season, he tries to b*gger the pan
but the pan has its aynal orifice
blocked by the sands of the Thames
which accounts for the mess on the surface
and the pan its inscrutable smile"

[Kiltrash]

Very good, but if we are going to use it on carrier ops, perhaps we need a longer nose leg

[Kiltrash]

Well i got the idea from seeing a video of the fastest accelerating mobility scooter.

[treadigraph]

Very funny, Bloggs. If we can figure out how to get out, you are buying the drinks tonight.

[Chu Chu]

But sir, you told me to earth the aircraft.

[Chu Chu]

I knew it all along -- put four engines on the tail and there's going to be trouble.

[Ascend Charlie]

Flg Off Gulliver had rotated, but the Lilliputians had tied it down with a lot of little strings so it wouldn't take off.

[fitliker]

Should have dropped that load in the forward conveniences

[Kiltrash]

Pilot...Well done lads, I can just see now over the Wembley arch
Loadie... What's happening??
Pilot... I think Kanes just scored a own goal...
Hamish McTavish in the rear compartment... YYYEEESSS...

[Kiltrash]

Told you the RB211 was just too heavy, but no you had to try just one more

[Kiltrash]

Dianne Abbot gets a job in the Vickers design department

or


GET ME DIANNE ABBOT ON THE PHONE NOW

(was gonna put this one on Friday Memes, But though what the heck..)
https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/720x986/img_20210710_wa0000_5a42f18e5d58ce15e5a4ee72b7b20dc31eff4cc0 .jpg

[Kiltrash]

At Milton Keynes, known for being England's flattest city*, the RAF Downhill Team get in some much needed practice..

...and so the idea for the Snowdome was born

* flattest city might not be correct but never let facts get in the way of a Caption. .

[Ninthace]

Told you the RB211 was just too heavy, but no you had to try just one more
Not a caption

I seem to recall a VC10 at Thurleigh that had 2 Conways on one side and a fanjet on the other. Is that to which you refer - or did I imagine it? Wasn't there was also a Vulcan with an underslung Olympus?

[cattletruck]

Fortunately our captain came from DC3s and doesn't foresee any problem with proceeding for departure.

[Chu Chu]

The experimental Segway landing gear worked flawlessly. Until the battery went flat.

[Chu Chu]

Chronically overdue for maintenance, XR806 soon learned to sit up and beg.

[andytug]

Not a caption

Wasn't there was also a Vulcan with an underslung Olympus?

Yes, it was a test bed for the Olympus pre going into Concorde.

[andytug]

See Hoskins, this is what happens if you call "Rotate" before the aircraft reaches V1....

[SASless]

Typical RAF....always sitting around on their Hind Ends!

[Ninthace]

https://i.postimg.cc/rmFdfcQ1/VC10-Incident.jpg (https://postimages.org/)

[treadigraph]

Not a caption

I seem to recall a VC10 at Thurleigh that had 2 Conways on one side and a fanjet on the other. Is that to which you refer - or did I imagine it?

Yep, test bed for the RB211.

[NutLoose]

Not an entry… The VC10 could carry a spare under the port wing route, it had mounting points to sling a Conway.

[NutLoose]

I think the fin’s full, now what we’re the other tanks you wanted filling?
.

[Kiltrash]

Yep, test bed for the RB211.

was it ...well I never...every day is a skool day.😁

[Kiltrash]

Thunderbird 1 looks for a different flight profile.mm well Thunder would describe the noise it makes.

[Kiltrash]

When departing from Woodford the instructions were to clear the footballers houses asap.

[Kiltrash]

Normally the receiving aircraft must keep level flight behind the tanker ...except when a comic situation occurs

[Kiltrash]

Later it was discovered the piano key concrete had not set like it was planned for.

[Kiltrash]

...and finally..

like a homesick angel. .

[Ninthace]

I will call this one tonight while the footie is on. I will give me something to do.

[Kiltrash]

Not a caption
As will I .... Something better to do with 90 minutes of my life..😁
Caption..
The Bowling club decided to expel the team captain for stowing his overweight balls in the rear cargo hold.

[Kiltrash]

According to the figures we put in 40000 gallons but could only get out 35000 gallons ..
Oh don't worry about it, bound to show up sometime

[Kiltrash]

Note to Cardiff Airport, please remove the speed humps in the runway

[Kiltrash]

....and as a good design feature the forward cargo door was designed without steps as it was only a matter of 3 feet from the ground. It all saves weight.
Hoskins will now demonstrate just how easy it is the hop off..

WTF where's the ground gone. ??

[SASless]

Quick solution.....we shall have a half dozen or so WRAF's walk forward if we cannot get that. Infantry Platoon from the Army for that purpose.

[Ninthace]

According to the figures we put in 40000 gallons but could only get out 35000 gallons ..
Oh don't worry about it, bound to show up sometime
Isn't fuel the stuff that was delivered in gallons, stored in cubic feet and flown around in ponds?

[Dan Gerous]

I don't know why they're bothering with this CAT launch lark. When the Ark goes we'll be using the Ski Jump just like the SHAR's

https://i.postimg.cc/rmFdfcQ1/VC10-Incident.jpg (https://postimages.org/)

[Dan Gerous]

We could build a plinth under it and call it the gate guard.

[Buster Hyman]

Skipper. Next time you decide to pack your watch in your bag, let us know BEFORE we load it in the aft hold.

[Chu Chu]

Hoskins, I told you not to stow the beer in the aft hold.

That can't be the problem, Sir -- it's light beer.

[Chu Chu]

The runway surface ablation trials showed some promise.

[SASless]

See there....I told you the nose strut was not extended enough....believe me now?