Caption Competition Mk III

[Dan Gerous]

It's a cross breeding between a Whirlwind and a Bell 47

[NutLoose]

They’re talking about an armed version, so we’re looking at adding a bucket on the front. They might be able to dig in, but we’ll be able to dig em out quicker.

[treadigraph]

Cooo-eeeee! Herbert! There's a Mr Bamford on the phone, can you spare a minute?

[treadigraph]

How McCains prepare their chips...

[Chu Chu]

They say the climate's changing, but I say bring it on! The big fan will keep me cool, and if sea levels rise, I can plow from the hover.

[treadigraph]

Oi sees a film on that worldly wise webbing Boobtoob fing, bloke in Orstraya 'erding cows with hoppyclopters. Oi loiks it! But they be gurt costly. So oi's puts me thinking cap on, bought a few bits n bobs from Nalsons and gort me welder out...

[Kiltrash]

Well done students, now you have created it part 2 of the test is finding a use for it. Answers on a postcard please to PPRuNe Cap Comp,

[Kiltrash]

Should this not be 10 foot in the air, on a pole to show the way the wind is blowing?
I'm from Poland and I resent that accusation.

[Kiltrash]

Terrific again Hoskins, a attatchment for the Helicopters rough field landing ability. Should sell by the thousands in the Rockys

[treadigraph]

...and that's not all, old boy, now the kids have something to keep their goldfish in too!

[Kiltrash]

Well done Bruce, but haven't you forgotten the tail rotor?
What's a tractor needing a tail rotor for?
or
Oh that's what that bit left over was for.

[Kiltrash]

May brings to Santa Pod his latest creation for the standing quarter mile record. Meanwhile Clarkson and Hammond retire to the Ambulance as that's where they will.meet their friend next..

[Kiltrash]

Very good but just why would a tractor need a ejection seat?

[cattletruck]

It comes with power steering.

[cavuman1]

Just as the helicopter's collective failed, the reversing tractor's throttle stuck wide-open.

- Ed

[Chu Chu]

Harrowing.

[andytug]

NOT A CAPTION

Will call this one as close to 2130 UK time tonight as I can :)

[Kiltrash]

Jeff Capes challenge to pull a Tracopter along tbe runway for Children in need gets off to a promising start ...or was it a Helitor? ?

[Kiltrash]

Comrade, knew it was a mistake giving that crashed Americanski helicopter to the Great People's Tractor Factory to reverse engineer...
Well to be fair there was not a lot left of the front so they reverted to type...

[Wensleydale]

Meanwhile, the technicians at Sky TV await their transport to the satellite so that they can change the clock back to GMT.

[Wensleydale]

Arriving at the launch pad, William Shatner suddenly begins to regret his decision to travel into space...

[NutLoose]

I dunno, when ars took orf ars was towing a trailer load of cowsh*t for yon top field....

[Buster Hyman]

I’ve noticed the complaints about low flying helicopters scaring the Cows have dropped away…

[Buster Hyman]

Australia swears it’ll never buy French kit again!

[Wensleydale]

Having ordered a tractor bi-plane, Algy finds that Amazon have delivered a substitute.

[Kiltrash]

....and finally tonight we show at the Geneva Motor Show the future of personal transport.
The front is electric powered and the rear is the wind turbine. There solved the World's energy crisis at a stroke said Andy...
Headline reads...COP 26 Cancelled

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Shortly before Westland's demise, an executive was overheard saying "You know, I think we're on a winner with this"

[treadigraph]

Australia swears it’ll never buy French kit again!

Sorry, M Macron, but when we ordered a submarine, this isn't quite what we had in mind...

But M Morrison, we understood you to require le Sud Moissonneuse... Our 'elicopter engineers 'av worked for weeks to combine an old Alouette with le tracteur...

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Revealed to the public for the first time at Farnborough, unfortunately only the front row of spectators could view the display.

[Chu Chu]

Before differential steering was invented, zero turn radius mowers looked a little different.

[Stockportcounty]

So, if you could put down in the slurry tank.

[Ascend Charlie]

Prince Andrew finds a way of keeping the process servers at bay.

[Kiltrash]

Post COP 26 the Heliloggers have to work with the farmers

[Kiltrash]

Boris, think you might have to rethink your travel plans back to London

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/540x304/image_62080550ff024fb627521882f14510621c98ffaa.jpeg

[Kiltrash]

....and finally the French Farmers seek help in locating where all the Sheep went after the Romanians passed through on the way to Calais

[andytug]

Apologies for late ness, I blame the Sky+box.....

Many notable entries around the chopper theme, but you can't beat a mangled film quote, so I've gone for :

622 with "God, I love the smell of Silage in the morning!"

[622]

Many thanks,

Lets try this one!
https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x583/66_aviation_jokes_and_anecdotes_4c22c048b072ac87618c654500f2 affc868d3dd7.jpg

[Hydromet]

You put your left wing in,
You put your left wing out...

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

You see there where it says "No Step"? It's there for a reason!

[Dan Gerous]

That's it, I'm off the booze.

[Dan Gerous]

I told you this wing folding mod wasn't going to work. Were far to big to land on a carrier anyway.

[NutLoose]

We could sell it to the Brits, they buy any of our old crap.

[NutLoose]

NOOOOOOOOOO, you were only supposed to disable the ones left at Kabul..

[NutLoose]

Lowering the flaps was never going to improve the situation mate.

[Buster Hyman]

...Could we turn it into a helicopter?

[Buster Hyman]

I bags changing the engines on 1 & 4!

[NutLoose]

Yes, I know we agreed to lend you an aircraft for the Badmington horse trials cross country, but it was for a backdrop not a jump, and you do realise it needed to go back into service afterwards.

[NutLoose]

Do you think they'll notice it?

[NutLoose]

That's what you get with filling the Stb galley lockers first.

[Ascend Charlie]

"Minus 3g?? How did that happen Hoskins??"
"Well, sir, we were in IMC and suddenly this Massey Ferguson helicopter flew in front of us, I had to bunt to get under it."

[Buster Hyman]

Frank, the Starlifter, was totally knackered after the Kabul airlift!

[Chu Chu]

I always knew carbon-based fuels would destroy the Earth. I just didn't expect it to start happening so soon.

[Wensleydale]

"Not that sort of Full Flap!!"

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Vought reveals its prototype F4U Globemaster IV

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

So that's why they put that big red cover over that button!

[NutLoose]

Which leads me on nicely to.....

You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off..

[Ninthace]

Oi mister, yer bouncy castle's come unplugged again.

[MPN11]

Hoskins’ interview without coffee lasted several days … and still failed to discover how he had achieved it.

[MPN11]

Investigators failed to discover how a tractor could have fallen onto the wing from a great height …

[MPN11]

”What happened, Charlie?”

”Lt Hoskins reckons he hit an unknown object in the South China Sea.”

[treadigraph]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x583/66_aviation_jokes_and_anecdotes_4c22c048b072ac87618c654500f2 affc868d3dd7.jpg

[treadigraph]

Starlifter? It can't even lift a :mad: snowflake!

[treadigraph]

Private Bunter bet that he could hang his weight off the wingtip for a full minute. The spar bet he couldn't...

[Chu Chu]

Von Schlieffen had it half right.

[Kiltrash]

At least it happened on the ground

[Kiltrash]

The USSR Spy satellite won't believe this

[Kiltrash]

Proof de fuelling accidents don't just happen on the VC 10 Fleet

[Kiltrash]

As the aircraft skidded to a halt in a shower of flaming sparks, the Fire Crews first action was to....
Put out the hi viz cones....
or
Have another cup of tea...
or
Phone the producers of Airplane the Movie that they had some nice stock footage they could have..

[ShyTorque]

“Well, Bloggs….we’d better leave it there! I’m sorry to say that you’re the only candidate I’ve ever had to fail on the pre-taxy control checks!”

[ShyTorque]

“Quick - bend them all down then no-one will notice!”

[Kiltrash]

The re engine trials for the B-52 did not go according to plan.....Oh it was NOT 2 to a pylon ...

[treadigraph]

A Flt Lt Neil Williams was flying it, Sire. His inverted approach and last minute roll out was something to behold...

[Kiltrash]

Well makes the oil and plug change easier..

[Kiltrash]

Dammit, measures the Tower Bridge gap in yards but it should have been feet

[Kiltrash]

Nutty and his crew sighed as they realised their early Friday finish for the Bank Holiday went out the window...

[Chu Chu]

When I said I wanted a C-141 for a bridge, I meant an airbridge.

[Ninthace]

I told you composite wing structures would not stand up to climate change. Dammed things melting.

[NutLoose]

“Quick - bend them all down then no-one will notice!”

It’s not a Jag ;)

[NutLoose]

There, we’ve got them under the trade descriptions, it can’t lift a Star.

[MPN11]

“Hey chiefy, put in a UOR for 360 metres of Speed-Tape and that buffing-out stuff they use on PPRuNe.”

[NutLoose]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x583/image_c9eb4fd8ed4727310b13ea1d6e7c5026e1247f59.jpeg

[NutLoose]

Whoa, we can’t use the word bent any more…..

[NutLoose]

You’re gonna need a bigger bog truck than that mate, the crew seriously sh*t themselves when the spar went.

[fitliker]

Not sure the Honey Wagon will be able to handle those No.4 curries if the main spar can’t

[fitliker]

Pre-bending stress loading the wing before the fire service gets them for fire suppression might not be such a money saving idea after all ?

[Chu Chu]

Good work. But I told you to use an A-400. "Starlifter Shrugged" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

[MPN11]

Aircraft Fatigue would be enhanced with an appropriate facial expression .. 💤 🥱 😴

[Dan Gerous]

The crew are refusing to fly it Sir. They say it is leaning so far over to the right, it's making the boarding ladder to steep to climb.

[MPN11]

The new BAe aircrew watch had not been fully evaluated in the operational environment.

[cavuman1]

Left wing candidates buckled in the recent election.

- Ed

[Hydromet]

It's the new aircraft for Boris Johnson/Scott Morrison/Donald Trump (choose as appropriate). Thats why it's leaning so far to the right.

[Hydromet]

Hoskins, there's a reason it says "No Step" on the wingtip.

[Chu Chu]

You can always tell the Japanese export version. The other models only kneel.

[cynicalint]

I told you that new searchlight was too heavy, too large and impractical to mount on the starboard wing!

[NutLoose]

So that’s what is meant by lowdown thrust.

[Ascend Charlie]

"Can you read the blueprint again, how much anhedral should we have?"

[Kiltrash]

The " Let's get all the Squadron Crew stand on the wing, jump up and wave our caps in the air " Christmas photo call did not go according to plan.

[Kiltrash]

At St Athan Aircraft Recycling Centre the crew start on the British airways B747.
Managing Director calls for mandatory eyesight tests.

[Kiltrash]

Tests later showed that E10 Fuel has a higher Specific Density than E5

[Wensleydale]

The USAF has announced that Peter Kay is no longer authorised to film any further "Amarillo" videos near their aircraft.

[treadigraph]

I think Private Bunter has been having to many Big MACs sir!

[Wensleydale]

We need to have a word with the Wing Commander!

[Kiltrash]

Just how much damage can a simple ' Gear Swing ' test give??

[Kiltrash]

Let's just cut the cockpit section off and build a museum building round it. Say that was always the plan..

[Kiltrash]

No I don't think lifting the X-15 using this was a good plan

[Kiltrash]

Gone all limp again Hoskins? Nip down the MO and get some of her wonderful blue tablets.

[OMAAbound]

"How many Afghans were holding on to this one?"

OMAA

[NutLoose]

Ok, for the next Sqn photograph we will have the chaps standing out in front of the aircraft, just as soon as they all get back from the hospital.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x583/image_48f6305323267a1dd66c404a758c638762c82aeb.png

[NutLoose]

I've seen your report Captain, are you still sticking to that? it was Termites picked up while transiting through France.

[Timmy Tomkins]

That is not what is meant by a Wing Down landing Hoskins

[andytug]

(Attenborough voice) ".....And here we see how the mother Starlifter shields her eggs from the sun and predators...."

[Wensleydale]

Your local SPAR: not always there for you?

[cattletruck]

Looks like a load of Junkers now.

[Ninthace]

After a recent detachment to France. Hoskins and his crew demonstrate the Gallic shrug in response to a request to taxi. "Boff!"

[Wensleydale]

"Swing Low: Sweet Chariot......"

[cavuman1]

Lockheed C-70.5 Stardropper

- Ed

[Chu Chu]

The Starlifter that flew too close to the Sun.

[Kiltrash]

On the pre acceptance snagging list, only one entry.
" Pilots chair has a couple of springs gone on one side...."

[NutLoose]

Now that's a true roll on roll off..

[Kiltrash]

Scotty voice

" Cap'n you bend em i'll fix em "

[NutLoose]

Better let Brize know the Autoland is U/S.

[NutLoose]

He muttered something about he could fix it as he had photoshop?

[treadigraph]

When Clark Kent was in the Air Force: "I thought all airplanes had folding wings..."

[Kiltrash]

Now if we could only iron out the small wrinkles we are still on track for the Replacement Carrier COD Aircraft.

[Kiltrash]

Now Boris, had you taken the train back from Glasgow, the Climate Activists would not have attempted the sabotage.

[Kiltrash]

As the crippled aircraft made a successful emergency landing and all on board were saved, Pilot, Captain, soon to be Major Tracy had the rest of his family depart the scene just before the photographer arrived..

[Kiltrash]

Well there I was over Central London on 5 th November and some blighter named Fawkes shot me down...

[Kiltrash]

See what 'appens when you do not follow the " Follow Me " car when visiting a unusual Airbase. .
or.
Boy that lamppost was cemented in well..
or
The Marshaller with the lighted batons was asked where the Forklift was... cr Airplane the Movie

[Wensleydale]

"So show me in the Release to Service Document where it specifically forbids a Cuban Eight?"

[Chu Chu]

We may have to revisit the "fuel it up with hydrogen and run it until something breaks" strategy.

[ORAC]

DARPA’s first attempt at modifying a KC-135 into a research ornithopter proved less than successful…..

[Buster Hyman]

Let's just cut the cockpit section off and build a museum building round it. Say that was always the plan..
Let's just cut the wings off, stick a reactor in it and call it the AUKUS Sub. Say that was always the plan..

[ORAC]

The Chinese team tasked with building a KC-135 clone failed to realise that the “Wan Wing Hai, Wan Wing Lo” scribbled in the stolen plans was a bad joke and not a design specification…

[Frostchamber]

Don't panic everyone. SWO isn't due back til 6 and I've got some Gorilla Glue in the workshop.

[Kiltrash]

CO, XO and Nav Officer are flown back Stateside from Guam...

[ShyTorque]

I think it's time we let Bertha, the wing walker, go.

[Penny Washers]

"A bit late on the round-out, Hoskins?"

[Apologies if someone else has got there first]

[Kiltrash]

Thanks lads that's good, I can use the Horizontal Stabiliser to reach the pole and change the bulb after some miscreants stole the long ladder..

[Chu Chu]

I knew those 5G antennas next to the ramp would cause trouble.

[Kiltrash]

RSPCA....Moto...., We never put down an injured bird... but in this case we may need to re evaluate....

[Kiltrash]

Aviation Herald Report
Normally a bird strike is just a slight inconvenience, with a delay of a hour or two, but in this case a Pterodactyle is a bigger issue..

[cavuman1]

The pilot learned the hard way that there is such a thing as a cumulogranite.

- Ed

[Dan Gerous]

I don't care that your last tour was with the Thunderbirds. We don't do wing overs on 141's.

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x583/image_c9eb4fd8ed4727310b13ea1d6e7c5026e1247f59.jpeg

[cynicalint]

i do feel so tired and lethargic, I just want to flop down and go to sleep!

[NutLoose]

Wing low, sweet chariot,

Coming for to carry me home.

Wing low, sweet chariot,

Coming for to carry me home…

Damn it looks like we’re staying…

[ORAC]

Some people just can’t take the pressure…..

[treadigraph]

Son, you're darn lucky it's just me bawling y'all out... when I was your age and rank, if I'd done this amount of damage, I'd have had General LeMay and Kelly Johnson kicking ma butt and that would HURT...

[Ascend Charlie]

(Does anybody know what actually happened to this one?)

[NutLoose]

We aim to please..

Memphis Int'l Airport TN/2001 Date 22 Dec 2001 Cause: Mechanical Failure Condition D/N n/a Wing/Base: 164 AW/TN ANG Location: Memphis Int'l Airport TN IMC/VMC n/a Tail #:
Fatalities: none Fatigue? yes


Synopsis: An incomplete maintenance procedure led to failure of the left wing structure during ground refueling. Two maintenance workers were injured.

While preparing for an Operation "Enduring Freedom" mission to Ramstein AB, Germany , maintenance personnel found a fuel leak in the aircraft's left wing, near #2 engine pylon. A fuel cell maintenance specialist team was called and repaired the leak. On completion of the repair procedure, on of the technicians failed to remove the left wing fuel tank vent plug, as required by the T.O.

Later in the day, the aircraft was refueled prior to the Ramstein mission. During the refueling process, trapped fuel vapor overpressurized the fuel tanks, causing the failure of the wing structure, and > of the wing. There was no fire. Approximately 3300 gallons of fuel was spilled onto the ramp and drained into a nearby creek. Two maintenance workers were injured, one with a broken leg and the other with a strained shoulder.

The entire C-141 fleet was immediately grounded, pending investigation. The investigators noted that the unit was stretched thin due to a high operations tempo, with 4 of 5 assigned aircraft and the majority of the unit already deployed. They noted that two supervisors signed off on the repair without actually inspecting the work. The aircraft was declared a total loss and was dismantled.https://c141heaven.info/dotcom/mishap_paul_hansen_files/image035.jpghttps://c141heaven.info/dotcom/mishap_paul_hansen_files/image037.jpg

https://c141heaven.info/dotcom/mishap_paul_hansen.htm

[622]

OK, things slowing up here so judging later today.......last call!

[Kiltrash]

Chap who was in in charge...sob..sob...sob...Sorry but can i still get my Green Shield Stamps??

Ps Thanks Nutty....opened a whole new avenue of quips 😁 glad no serious injury

[Kiltrash]

Right, need to put ' Remove Before Flight ' Flags on them plugs as well now...

[Kiltrash]

Sarge, The local Fishermen also want a word...

[622]

OK, lets put this poor aircraft out of its misery and declare a winner:

The grand prize goes to......drum roll please....

NutLoose with:

Ok, for the next Sqn photograph we will have the chaps standing out in front of the aircraft, just as soon as they all get back from the hospital.

Well done all...as always, top captioning!

[NutLoose]

Ok try this one :)


https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/700x469/ch_47d_chinook_helicopter_90_00192_afghanistan_crash_october _2011_2_700x469_df5926ee272477ace3794c54a7a514975dbcff61.jpg

https://www.chinook-helicopter.com/history/aircraft/D_Models/90-00192/90-00192.html

[Kiltrash]

Well the tank did say Max Cap 2000, but the units had been blasted off in the sand

[Kiltrash]

Quick cover up the nose art in case it offends

[Kiltrash]

Clot, it was meant to be 26100 we were cutting up

[cavuman1]

It'll fly better when we attach rotor blades.

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

Why yes we overnighted at Liverpool Airport, how did you know??

[Kiltrash]

Tilt the jets downwards and we don't need no rotor blades

[Kiltrash]

Chap on top..." Go Rover, fetch the ball " well better than working for a living. ..

[MPN11]

"There you go, Terry T, try using this one."

[MPN11]

It has to be said ... "Has anyone seen Lootenant Hoskins?"

[ORAC]

“Well the jack is in here, but I can’t find the key for the locking wheel nuts”.

[Kiltrash]

Thought we were to disable the aircraft after we got back to Base. ...you tell the men it's a long walk back to Bagram. .

[Kiltrash]

After 10 hours checking why the engine would not start, the suggestion to check was there fuel in the tank was at first greeted with derision ...

[cynicalint]

Only Boing could design these things so that all this material must be removed just to replace a tyre!

[Kiltrash]

Tell you what Sarge, fortunately they were showing " Flight of the Phoenix " in the mess last night.

[cynicalint]

If 00192 can get away with causing this much damage, it's no wonder 007 gets away with murder!

[Dan Gerous]

We've more than enough lift, without the need for vectored thrust thanks.


https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/700x469/ch_47d_chinook_helicopter_90_00192_afghanistan_crash_october _2011_2_700x469_df5926ee272477ace3794c54a7a514975dbcff61.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

Ah, now there's your problem. You've put the filters to far forward.

[Dan Gerous]

Jeez, that's some glory hole.

[Dan Gerous]

Jimbo, nip over to those State Department CH46's and see if you can swap the back end for one of theirs.

[ShyTorque]

“Apparently the pilot’s new…..just transferred from Starlifters!”

[Wensleydale]

No - can't move it. We'll have to bring the tractor in!

[Ascend Charlie]

Apparently the pilot was distracted on approach by the sight of Section Officer Harvey sunbathing naked on the roof of the WRAF quarters.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

No, even from up here I can't see where all the bits went!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Pilot reported a bit of a thump on touchdown. Tell him we've had a good look, and couldn't find anything.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

All of this we can fix easy. The hard bit will be getting the stains and smell out of the seat covers.

[Kiltrash]

Stuff the aircraft, did my clubs make it OK??

[Buster Hyman]

…and it arrived off the Starlifter like that huh? Let’s go see the CO shall we Hoskins!

[Buster Hyman]

Honestly Sarge, we were flying straight and level when this bluddy Sub came out of nowhere…

[Buster Hyman]

First of all, wouldn’t the chin hook go further forward?

[cattletruck]

Installing reverse thrusters turned out to be not such a good idea.

[Ninthace]

Crashed Helicopter In Need Of Outrageous Kindness

[Chu Chu]

No wonder it crashed -- Boeing had the tail rotor all wrong. Now that we've got it resized, it just needs to be cut off and rotated 90 degrees.

[Ninthace]

Any chance we can tell Boeing the stick came away in my hand and get it fixed or swapped under Warranty?

[cavuman1]

Having used her last ounce of strength repelling the Chinook, Mother Earth gave up with predictable results.

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

Is this where the USB micro goes??

[Kiltrash]

Kiltrash realises he is in the wrong caption, should be the USS Connecticut accident


https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/700x469/ch_47d_chinook_helicopter_90_00192_afghanistan_crash_october _2011_2_700x469_df5926ee272477ace3794c54a7a514975dbcff61.jpg

[Kiltrash]

Having landed in Brize the Air Force get ready to off load the Cap Comp Trophy. .. The dents show it is well travelled

[Kiltrash]

Well we were looking for a bunch of Spitfires but this was all we could dig up..

[Kiltrash]

They can't expect the two of us to fix this....we need Nutloose and his crew of spanner boys..

[Kiltrash]

After this you seriously expect the pentagon to give you another one ?.. No Sarge I resigned last week,

[Big Pistons Forever]

That’s number 5. Congratulations sir you are now an enemy ace !

[Big Pistons Forever]

The CO says this baby has to be serviceable by tomorrow or we lose our unit readiness award…..

[Big Pistons Forever]

Hi, I am from the DOD Inspector General’s office and I am puzzled as to why this helicopter is listed as “fully mission capable”

[Big Pistons Forever]

Well SSgt Needly I have good news and bad news

The good news is I am moving you up to a Crew Chief position.

That’s great sir, what is the bad news ?

You are now responsible for Chinook 092…

[Buster Hyman]

Honestly though, this looks way over the top to just change a wheel Hank!

[Kiltrash]

Having done work experience at Kwik Fit, it was felt Hank was the man for the job
or
Hank exclaimed ' but I only lasted one day '

[Kiltrash]

Thr Rotor Blade? No their stuck in the Evergiven

[Kiltrash]

Well if it hadn't been for the underslung Hummer we would have been in real sh!t....

[Kiltrash]

Another model to add to Captain Eric 'Winkle' Hoskins list of crashed types....

[fitliker]

Please show some respect for tradition , his grandfather was responsible for bringing down over two hundred Fokker und Messerschmitt aircraft . His family has been fixing aircraft for four generations . His Grandfather might not have been the best mechanic in the Luftwaffe, but you have to respect tradition.

[fitliker]

Weight and balances got complicated when the PC brigade banned the use of the term “ No Fat Chicks in the rear of the aircraft “

[Big Pistons Forever]

Oh, I think I know why it crashed. The Regimental Quartermaster wrote off 100,00 lbs of gear he said was on the helicopter !

[fitliker]

They attempted to lift off vertically with the wrong chemtrail unit attached that is not the helio chemical kit , but a kit for the A380 , everyone knows that you need to use the conveyor belt treadmill runway conversion kit to get airborne when loaded at thirty three percent over gross on a hot day !

[NutLoose]

Will score it on the morrow :)

[cavuman1]

In the remake of The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy's helicopter still managed a direct hit on the Wicked Witch of the East, who was riding her ATV through Munchkin Land.

- Ed

[Wensleydale]

The last transmission heard from the crew: "I love the smell of those burning heroine poppies in the morning".

[Chu Chu]

Having swum upstream and laid its eggs, its days were approaching their natural close.

[treadigraph]

Don't worry Sarge, the day can only get better.

You reckon? My mother-in-law is coming to stay with us today - for the rest of the month...

[Kiltrash]

Well THAT Lunch did not go according to plan...
Lunch? don't you mean Launch??
Have you seen what they put in these Sandwiches??

[SimonPaddo]

Well this is more difficult than a Billy bookcase

[Kiltrash]

As the aircraft crashed in the Mach Loop, the crew thought the snappers were coming to help rescue them, However Social Media posts and souvenirs were more in their minds..

[Kiltrash]

Well look at it this way, we get 2 YES 2 Cockpit and Rotor blade combos for different museums for the price of one..
( thinking the Chinook in Hanger 6 at RAF Hendon.)

[622]

Hoskins, no matter how many bits you take off.....no one is going to believe you when you say you thought it was a Taliban UAV you took out!

[andytug]

Well Sir...it seems the last WAKA of the WAKA-WAKA-WAKAs was a real one.....

[NutLoose]

Ok Scores on the doors, the winner is ORAC with

“Well the jack is in here, but I can’t find the key for the locking wheel nuts”.

Runner up and a late entry....very late entry, is Andy Tug with

Well Sir...it seems the last WAKA of the WAKA-WAKA-WAKAs was a real one.....

Second Ruuner up is Buster with

Honestly Sarge, we were flying straight and level when this bluddy Sub came out of nowhere…

Thank you one and all for entering :)


…

[ORAC]

Thank you - but out and about so will defer to Andy…..

[ORAC]

OK, since Andy hasn’t pitched up yet…..

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/850x565/image_ea05debd162b973655b00da0d3cb82c4a60069cb.jpeg

[Ninthace]

And so the race began to prove if 4 screws could beat 2 blow jobs or not.

(Old but gold)

[Wensleydale]

Early experiments with AAR proved to be complicated.

[MPN11]

Typical Air Force ... if it's not a Detachment it's an Attachment.

[TLDNMCL]

" That's very good children, we should always hold hands when we cross a continent."

[MPN11]

"Break --- Break --- GO ... Aargh!"

[MPN11]

General Le May would regret assigning Captain Hoskins to the project.

[treadigraph]

No...! That is not what we mean by the term "wingman" in the United States Air Force...

[treadigraph]

Bob...

Yes Mike?

You know how you said nothing would ever come between us...

[Ascend Charlie]

MMSOBGYTAST*






*Old jungle saying

[Chu Chu]

Wing walker sets record on tip-tow.

[Chu Chu]

Early chemtrail dispensers.

[Hydromet]

The B-29 was so noisy that on long missions, crew rest areas had to be located well away from the engines.

[Dan Gerous]

I wish the liney's would stick to sniffing the glue.

[treadigraph]

What's that he's singin'?

Ah wait... yep, got it! Stealer's Wheel, Stuck in the Middle With You

[Ninthace]

JATO the early years.

[Ninthace]

Aileron roll - go! Oh sh.....

[cynicalint]

Try as they might, the USA could not hide the fact that Enola Gay had suffered genetic side effects from dropping "Little Boy"

[Wensleydale]

Right. That's the B-29 experiment complete - now for the C-141!

[NutLoose]

They used to tip doodbugs by lifting its wing but buggered if I can do it with this heap Shultz……. I know what you mean, I’m trying it on one too and it won’t budge….




​​​​​​….

[cavuman1]

Four turning, two burning, three buying the farm.

- Ed

[NutLoose]

I Know, I must admit I failed to tell them that they are an early version of the guided missile.

[Buster Hyman]

Okay everyone…3…2…1…JAZZ HANDS!!!

[Buster Hyman]

Typical Hollywood. The Shepherd was nothing like this!

[Buster Hyman]

Ok, Tom…action! Get to the other F-84!

[NutLoose]

Can you hear thunder?

[Buster Hyman]

It's no good, I can't maneuver!

Stay on target.

We're too close!

Stay on target!

Loosen up!

[Kiltrash]

Virgin Galactic, The original plans