Caption Competition Mk III

[Ninthace]

Please present my compliments to the Forward Air Controller and ask him to join me at his earliest convenience - - NOW!!!

[Ninthace]

I am popping smoke!! Whaddya mean what colour!? It's bl00dy gunsmoke!

[Ninthace]

How come there is never a bushy topped tree handy when you need one?

[Ninthace]

At the ethnic gentlemen in front of you! In your own time! Go on!

[Ninthace]

Come on lads! In a couple of year's time they will put up a statue to us, Then in another hundred years or so, they will tear it down again!

[MPN11]

“OI!! I ordered a Wimpey*, not a bloody Impi!”


* Other burgers also exist.

[MPN11]

“Four Platoon … BREXIT … NOW!”

[Kiltrash]

Bloody noisy jets, just moved into my new house,
Wonder if I could find a Spotter to buy it off me...

[Kiltrash]

Wish the effin sketch artist would hurry up but Fools and Horses is on the telly....

[treadigraph]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1050x770/behind_the_scenes_zulu_1964_vintage_classic_film_07_ce015fe6 21418778c8d5916e4674a3059daa1d52.jpg

[treadigraph]

Those bangs were so bloody loud I've soiled meself...

[Kiltrash]

Think I have found where the Watutsi Chiefs Spear went... don't think I can sit down for a week or two.

[Kiltrash]

Doc, wish you would lubricate your finger more before you give me a field exam. ..
or
Trim your finger nails

[Ascend Charlie]

"The troops are having a nap, the bloody cart has tipped over, I've got a bloody splinter, and all you can say is "What's it all about Alfie??""

[NutLoose]

You’ve forgot to stick the. F’ing apple in.



,,

[NutLoose]

No Sir, I can’t see it, are you sure he said he would ram his spear so far up your arse that it would tickle your tonsils?

[NutLoose]

Get em down you Zulu Warrior, get em down you you Zulu Chief….chief, chief, chief, chief…… Arr, zumbar, zumbar, zumbar, zumbar, hay.

[Ascend Charlie]

"Not fair! I've just been hit by an Ass-Guy!"

[Kiltrash]

Well as Women are not allowed in the ' Man's Army ' I thought sticking my Todger in a mousetrap would be a bit more pleasurable ..

[Kiltrash]

AAARRRGGGHHH......

Roughly translated as the results of a phone call to General Haig to get him out of ' The Big Push ' in return for saving the General from a Watutsi Tribesman Spear suggesting he wears his underpants on his head, Pencils up each nostril and say " Wibble '

[Kiltrash]

BALDRICK ...... You ran out of milk 6 months ago...and used substitute. ...

[treadigraph]

I want a nice cup of Rosie and a propa Cockney fry up. NOW!

[MPN11]

“AMMO!!”

”Sorry, Sir, he’s been killed.”

[Dan Gerous]

Aarrgh!!! Constipated all effing week, and now it decides to move.

[Dan Gerous]

Connery! let's get the hell out of here and head for Kafiristan.

[cavuman1]

It's ZULU TIME!

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

Dammit, India and Cows are reveared animals, just wander round Krapping

[Kiltrash]

Queen Boadicia never had this problem with her Chariot

[MPN11]

“Activate Op PITTING … NOW!”

[Buster Hyman]

Master Wayne! MASTER WAYNE!

[Buster Hyman]

Yes, yes. You *wear* the crown, *be* the crown, you *are* the crown!

[Kiltrash]

My mouth ?
Yes i modelled it on the Great English Bulldog...
or
I modelled it on Sir Andy Murray. ..
or
No i've just been to the dentist

[Kiltrash]

Me medals, me medals who stole me bleeding ' effin medals

[Ascend Charlie]

"Regrets? I've had a few, but I did it MYYYYYYY. WAAAAAAYYYYY!"

[Kiltrash]

Whaydoyamean me names not on the list of Victoria Cross recipients, oh you have to be killed in action?....Oh that's alright then...

[Wensleydale]

I will have a little judge tonight!

[fitliker]

Where are those porridge eaters when you need them ?
Probably off somewhere having relations with the exotic erotic locals , baaah

[NutLoose]

I think I can feel I'm coming down with a case of lockja……..

[NutLoose]

I don’t care if we are about to be over run, the Doc said I had to gargle three times a day. Gargle gargle….

[NutLoose]

I said spit to the bugler, not retch to you Gonville

[fitliker]

When that thought hits you that it is impossible to get the vaccine inserted up the Khyber Pass while the nurse had both hands on your shoulders !

[fitliker]

He was saving himself for marriage, too late now he is truly about to be speared and F+++++d

[MPN11]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1050x770/behind_the_scenes_zulu_1964_vintage_classic_film_07_ce015fe6 21418778c8d5916e4674a3059daa1d52.jpg


“We need more Force Protection. Where’s the bloody RAF Regiment?”

[Kiltrash]

....and in late news it is revealed that Ronaldo ( CR7 ) is returning to Old Trafford
What...just as i gave up my Season Ticket as they are cr@p.

[Kiltrash]

Cheap castration on the front line, house bricks 2 for the use off

[Kiltrash]

Could have been worse, could have been press ganned into the Navy at Portsmouth

[Kiltrash]

Sure Mr Marconi, there must be a better way to get a request for a cup of tea over to the Naffi

[Kiltrash]

A blow job Captain Hoskins? What do you think i am ? a cheap NCO.?....

[Wensleydale]

Its judgement day. Did you know that the 24th Regiment of Foot at Rorke's Drift (and Isandlwana) were in fact "The 2nd Warwickshire Regiment" and not the South Wales Borderers. That name change come a couple of years after the Zulu Wars in 1881. The Regiment had moved to Brecon in Wales less than two years before the campaign and although there would have been a few new Welsh recruits in the ranks, the bulk of them came from the Midlands. More Peaky Blinders than Men of Harlech. As such, the winner is:


I. Am. NOT. Bloody. Welsh!


Well done sir. the trophy is on its way for you to polish along with your Knobkierie.

[Kiltrash]

...and there was at least one Scotsmen. ....just to hold the ethnic minority flag up

Well done sir

[Wensleydale]

...and there was at least one Scotsmen. ....just to hold the ethnic minority flag up

Well done sir

He was in the reconnaissance section I believe: Black Watch!

[MPN11]

Oh, gosh! And WOWWW, come to that!

That saw some strong competition.

What will you all make of this, I wonder?


https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/612x415/gettyimages_613480530_612x612_482f49bd7fea0c11da5f54e9105f06 ce0199dce1.jpg

[treadigraph]

I don't mind having so many bean counters in the forces these days, it's their bean consumption that concerns me...

[Kiltrash]

As the Honey Wagon got struck last week the Health and Safety had to improvise in caae of Mustard Gass Attack

[Kiltrash]

Mumble mumble mumble....
( takes mask off)
" What did you sa..."

[Kiltrash]

The Heavy Rubber Fetishism troop all get drafted en masse

[treadigraph]

Prof Heinz-Robinson excelled himself with his combination flak gun and spaghetti maker...

[Kiltrash]

So many bullets but only one barrel? Eh Mr Gatling

[cavuman1]

Add chunks of Epoisse de Borgogne into the high-speed grater on the left. Shoot resulting product onto water crackers from central dispenser. Wear masks throughout procedure.

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

Luke...hiss... we are your ..hiss ..Father. ..

[Kiltrash]

Gas powered breach mechanism...where do we get the gas from? ?

[Kiltrash]

The Wombles seek to deter by any means, litter louts on Wimbledon Common.

[Wensleydale]

The German Army develops a machine to ensure that sufficient garlic is grated and available to make Sausage for the troops.

[treadigraph]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/612x415/gettyimages_613480530_612x612_482f49bd7fea0c11da5f54e9105f06 ce0199dce1.jpg

[Ascend Charlie]

"Look at the date! May the fourth be with you! Haw, haw, gasp ..choke..gag..splut.."

[Chu Chu]

Sent to the mill on the Meuse, Von Hoskins brought his indexing plate.

[NutLoose]

Ve push der cabbage in der collander, crank zer handle and out comes der beautiful sauerkraut.

[NutLoose]

Finished with the holy handgrenades, load the holy magazine.

[Ascend Charlie]

"Wir machen eine Fahrt!"
"Nur eine?"

[NutLoose]

With sh*t shooting like that, have you considered a different occupation? I hear zer is maybe und vacancy for ein Pope….

[NutLoose]

And if this movie is der Vizard of Oz again, ze vill lynch us, so der masks vill hide our identity.

[fitliker]

The latest in needle free mass vaccination equipment being tested and carefully re-calibrated after some patients were given their first , second , third and fourth doses in one go .

[treadigraph]

Hey, let's make with zer YMCA!

[treadigraph]

Do mein eyes deceive me or is zat ein hund flying ein kennel?

[Kiltrash]

Fed up with always comming last in the ' Troop sharp shooting ' competition the men descide to up the anti and go for the rapid mass fire solution.
" Ve got ze idea from Von Kiltrash in ze Cap Comp "

[Kiltrash]

You had better go and explain to the farmer exactly what happened to his barn door...

[Kiltrash]

My turn, my turn , stamps feet , my turn with the trigger..

[Kiltrash]

At the ' Hook a Duck " stall in the village fair the Mayor checked the rule book for authorised equipment

[Kiltrash]

Ruthless German Efficiency is applied to Deserter Firing Squads ....
" Do we have a problem with Desertion?" Asked the General.

[cattletruck]

Spread your buns! Bratwurst, Frankfurter, Knackwurst and Kransky at your service sir.

[averdung]

"Dear Leader, you must not leap for joy when Air Force demonstrates flying 4'6" above the runway."


Elephants can’t jump. KFU can’t either, the floor would collapse

[ORAC]

The first trial of the John Logie Baird TV projector to entertain the troops on the front line carried on despite the gas attack....

[NutLoose]

Very good shooting. nice grouping, you took out those troops and tents perfectly, I particulary like the way you set those lorries ablaze, but to nitpick, perhaps you should rotate the gun 180 degree's and shoot at the enemy.

[NutLoose]

Nein. it vas originally called the fields of flounders after the shape of our masks..

[NutLoose]

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/612x415/image_a043062a8f475fa166c32d59cbebbf2b5ccd6444.png

[Kiltrash]

At Hamburg -on -sea the Home Guard have to improvise with defensive armaments in the early stages of the War. The local Tennis Club wonder where the Serve Training machine went .

[Chu Chu]

Very good. Next time we try it with gas masks and a loaded magazine.

[treadigraph]

You've hit one!

It wasn't the one I was aiming for...

[Kiltrash]

Commissioner Gordon has sent instructions to turn on the Bat Signal. ...

[NutLoose]

They don’t like it up em Herr Mainwairing

[Kiltrash]

(.Quickly ) ...Pull pull pull pull pull pull......
well punk do you feel lucky? Given this is a Magnum, probably the most powerful hand gun in the World, and would blow your head off .....etc etc

[Kiltrash]

Nutty On the left...Laughing quietly to himself. He he he...
Buster ( on the right ) has not realised I stuffed a pair of my old sweaty socks in his respirator. been ' fermenting ' nicely for the last 4 weeks...

[Ninthace]

The automation of the Wehrmacht's Christmas Dinner proceeded apace. The Rosenkohl are loaded into magazine (or Kolander in German) and then shot into the bucket outside the Küchezelt. (Some unscrupulous troops would snack on the occasional raw sprout - hence the gas masks)

[Dan Gerous]

Holy ****, all those holes are about to line up!!!

[treadigraph]

We'll give 'em "who do you think you are kidding Mr Hitler?"!

[Kiltrash]

Respirator? No no they are Baked Bean cans, we attatch string and we have secure communication. Dual purpose ...

[cavuman1]

Sherman and Mr. Peabody were astounded when the WayBack Machine landed them beside two strangers in 1917.

- Ed

[arf23]

and today COVID mask restrictions are ramped up to the next level

[Chu Chu]

What happened to Fritz? He was always careful to stay behind the splinter shield.

The holes in the swiss cheese must have lined up.

[Buster Hyman]

...and that, my Boy, is where the term Sour Kraut came from!

[NutLoose]

Herman realised there must be easier ways to European domination and on the battlefield the basis of the EU idea is formed.

[Buster Hyman]

"NO WAIT! That's Goerings plane! Bluddy gas masks!"

[Kiltrash]

In 1919, Gym's giving full arm work out while raising a good sweat is issued to the troops with surplus Army equipment.... Be needed in 20 years time ...

[Kiltrash]

Stop firing. ..stop firing..STOP FIRING..

Sorry Sarge could not hear you, bloody noise of all these guns going off.
or
That's not a Enemy plane, you've got a blue bottle on your Gas Mask...

[Kiltrash]

...and so Health and Safety was born... one person doing all the work and 3 people to ensure that the person does not come to any harm...two of which are Lawyers.

[Kiltrash]

Right that's the Red Baron make sure we get him right in the sights and FIRE....
But Sarge isn't he one of ours??
Yes caught him with my wife last week, who does he think he is, Lord Flasheart?
Will claim it's was all due to Blue on Red ....teach him to paint his Focker in that colour

[Ninthace]

The Acme Cherry Pitter comes with the added advantage of being able to fire all the stones at next door’s cat.

[MPN11]

Not A Caption.
*** I feel a shortage of ammo is creeping upon us. I have a short list already: any more offers? ***

[cynicalint]

Now try and match the pretty pattern grouping the Tommy soldier fired into our magazine....

[Kiltrash]

Stuff this for a can of worms, standing around in cold wet fields, I'm off to be a Lorry Driver in Britain. At least your treated like a God over there

[Kiltrash]

Nope, hold your fire
Nope, hold your fire
Nope, hold your fire
Ah here comes the FAA demigod.... let him have the full load ....

[Kiltrash]

...and finally the German Army are accused of flouting disability laws, by not providing weapons for Left Handed soldiers
Ah Bae see a market they had not previously exploited. ...

[MPN11]

OK, decision time! My submission would have been along the lines on “Use Maxim-um elevation, Hans” (Geddit?]

However …Credits are as follows:

Tech Award - ORAC for recognising Logie Baird’s early efforts.
Flight Saftety Award - Dan Gerous with his holes in cheese.

Commendations to:

Treadigraph - Snoopy’s Kennel
Ninthace - The Cherry Pitter

But I just have to go with (quality over quantity on this occasion)… utterly out of context, and actually made me laugh

Kiltrash … “Luke...hiss... we are your ..hiss ..Father. ..”

Over to you, Kiltrash! Trophy in the tender care of Jersey Post, so you may get it by Christmas!

[Kiltrash]

Many thanks and i offer up....
no holds / quips barred
https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1600x900/mytugnsxdfth8spxbrwb_c06b15d702f2ab1b5d9ebf9346f935fa9d18009 c.jpg

[treadigraph]

Wilson: I say, Sir, would you mind awfully pointing that rifle away from Godfrey's chest, it might make a terrible mess on the floor

Godfrey: Oooh, my sister Dolly wouldn't like that at all

Jones: Yes, he don't like it up 'im!

Pike: That's not what the verger says

Wilson: Be quiet Frank!

Mainwaring: Stupid boy!

Fraser: Bugger, now I've forgotten my line!

[cynicalint]

Do we have to wear gas masks to fire it?

[Hydromet]

"This is my rifle, this is my gun."
"This is for shooting, this is for fun."

[Surplus]

I've just had a Top Secret signal from HQ, apparently West Ham FC have infiltrated the Home Guard, we've got orders to shoot on sight!

[NutLoose]

Now listen men, my intention is to withdraw the bolts from each rifle and scatter them along the railway tracks to prevent the weapons falling into the enemies hands.

[Buster Hyman]

Jones: "Mr. Mainwaring! Mr. Mainwaring! That's not the right angle if you wanna stick it up 'em!"

[Buster Hyman]

If you're after Mr. Brown, you're too late. He went off to Town on the 08:21...

[Buster Hyman]

"Och...Mainwaring's got a gun! We're doomed!"

[andytug]

"Now listen here...As we only have one gun we will have to share it, different person each day. Jones - Monday, Pike - Tuesday........I'd avoid the area on Wednesday if I were you as Godfrey will have it then...."

[treadigraph]

Now listen to me men. Never before has this unit worked so well together and I am very proud of you. Dispatching our dastardly enemy in such a manner deserves a VC for every Man Jack of you. Now, remember this men, don't let the vicar bury anyone under the yew tree and if anybody asks, Hodges was last seen late yesterday evening, heading out to the cliff tops to deal with a naked light he'd spotted. Clear?

[MPN11]

And this you can see is the bolt (https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/21142#eid16863850). The purpose of this
Is to open the breech (https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/23009#eid14292248), as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring.
... And this is where the ammunition goes
Which in our case we have not got.

(With apologies to Henry Read, Naming of Parts, 1942)
https://www.poetrybyheart.org.uk/poems/naming-of-parts/

[ORAC]

Everyone was shocked when Mainwaring said his gun was that long….

[treadigraph]

Don't you worry about it Captain Mainwaring sir, I'll take the blame for that little indiscretion, but I don't think the rest of them heard it...

[ORAC]

It was unlike Captain Mainwaring to go off half-cocked….

[MPN11]

Jones: I don't like it Sir ... where does one attach the bayonet?

[fitliker]

You know you are getting old when those fellas start looking young !

[treadigraph]

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1600x900/mytugnsxdfth8spxbrwb_c06b15d702f2ab1b5d9ebf9346f935fa9d18009 c.jpg

[treadigraph]

His men would follow him anywhere... if only out of curiosity...

[MPN11]

Mainwaring: No, Pike, it's not Novelty Rock, it's a blasted Rifle.

[MPN11]

Jones: Don't call it a gun, boys, or the Artillery will get very upset.

[NutLoose]

Oops it’s empty, it looks like it’s your round Mr Mainwaring.

[Dan Gerous]

Really! The Taliban are running around in Humvee's and armed with M16's and you want us to fight them with this?

[NutLoose]

‘Ere, let me have a butchers, it’s my job you know.

[NutLoose]

Uncle Arthur said you’d f*ck it up.

[NutLoose]

Jones to Mainwaring..

It’s I have no live rounds, empty cases, or misfires in my possession Sgt

[MPN11]

Mainwaring: And when they arrive at the border of dear old Blighty, Godfrey will administer the Covid-19 Test, Frazer will search them for undeclared currency, Jones will search for smuggled meat products, and Pike will ... stand nearby and look threatening.

[Kiltrash]

Hi everyone slowing down so last orders please, in 12 hours time I will anoint the latest winner...

[treadigraph]

Why isn't Private Walker here?

He is seeing to your wife's needs Sir.

Is he indeed? Good man. Right, today's task is....

[NutLoose]

Don’t worry Godfrey, I’m to old to have a negligent discharge, ask my wife.

[NutLoose]

Shouldn’t you be pointing it at them Captain Mainwaring…
Ahh good man, I was wondering when someone would notice that Cpl Jones.

[NutLoose]

We’re out of ammo Captain, we need a weapon, how about a pike? They don’t like it up em you know.
You just wait untill I tell my mum what you have in store for me, you hear that Uncle Arthur?

[NutLoose]

Captain Manwairing, I think I’ve just sat on my bayonet and you know I don’t think it’s as bad as I made out.

[NutLoose]

Gather round men, it has come to my attention that Lance Corporal Jones is about to release an album of songs.
I have one round left in this rifle and I put it to you that we think of England while we have our backs against the wall and shoot him before he gets it released.

​​​​​​…

[NutLoose]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1600x900/image_50cb891f68e9fbacf49f416611cf8d5f5177b869.jpeg

[NutLoose]

It’s ok Captain Mainwaring, it’s not the invasion bells, Mrs Fox has had my foreskin pierced and a little bell hung on it.

[NutLoose]

Before you shoot Hodges, hadn’t we better ascertain if he has anymore onions?

[treadigraph]

I don't care if you have shot him Captain Mainwaring, I still want make sure my name is crossed out in his little notebook.

[Kiltrash]

Runner up goes to Andy with

"Now listen here...As we only have one gun we will have toshare it, different person each day. Jones - Monday, Pike - Tuesday........I'd avoid the area on Wednesday if I were you as Godfrey will have it then...."

but todays winner is roll of drums...

Why isn't Private Walker here?

He is seeing to your wife's needs Sir.

Is he indeed? Good man. Right, today's task is....

You have contrail...

[treadigraph]

Blimey, thanks Kiltrash! Have a go with this which is a screen grab from a video I saw several weeks ago - hope it's clear enough; I'm not sure what in hell is happening but I'm sure a plethora of suggestions await me. Judging on Monday evening...

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x400/twang_1822e149fa1073154efaa23189d1e4e0064ad312.png

[cattletruck]

Ok, hit the starter and count the number of revolutions before he flies off.

[Buster Hyman]

I heard hiding in the landing gear was dangerous, but I should be fine up here...

[Buster Hyman]

William Shatner looks out the window & can't believe it's happening again!

[Dan Gerous]

Yeh, we've been having problems with kids using the blades as slides, so we've serrated the end of the blades. Once a few of them have had their arses's torn off, they'll stop.

[Kiltrash]

Leading Aircrafts man Tom Daily during training for life after the RAF

[Kiltrash]

You gonna need a bigger boat.... ( think Jaws ) before you fly at low level...

[Kiltrash]

The latest wall paper paste / Super glue has passed all initial tests

[ORAC]

Russia trials a mandraulic rotor damping system for the African market......

[NutLoose]

They’re surely desperate to get out of Kabul.


​​​​​​…

[NutLoose]

He tells me he’s a professional droop stop and his fee is five shillings per day

[fitliker]

The human mass balance weights seem to create a strange resonance at certain RPMs .

Cheap like borscht and you can barely hear the screams at cruise speed .

[fitliker]

You can barely hear the screams once up to cruise power .

[fitliker]

Listen son , every pilot starts out on the wing after a few trips you might get to actually see the inside of the helicopter .

If you are lucky we will show you where the golden rivet is located after your second trip :)

[fitliker]

Are you sure this is how Alan Bristow got his first start in aviation ?

[Kiltrash]

Captain Hook, give my best to Davy Jones when you see him...

[Kiltrash]

Yep i'm over the barbed wire, now where's the lorries to England ...

[MPN11]

Eddie The Eagle ... the early days.

[Kiltrash]

Extinction Rebellion ( Or Fathers for Justice) pick the wrong mode of transport to bring to a halt. When RAF Mildenhall is brought to a total stop..
( think of the clot on the Tube train...got himself beaten up....)

[Ninthace]

They said it was dangerous to walk under the rotors so I should be fine here.

[Chu Chu]

Keep a good all-around lookout, they said.

[cynicalint]

Trials begin for the safest place to stowaway. Undercarriage or wing?

[cynicalint]

Kwick-Fit's first foray into rotor balancing fails to impress.

[Ascend Charlie]

"OK, give me the video camera and I'll get those shots of the blades wobbling on every revolution. And send my pay to my family..."

[Hydromet]

In the spirit of the Jamaican bobsled team, the Saharan Olympic diving team had to use their initiative when training.

[NutLoose]

It’s an idea from Fairey, we call it the Rotorwyne

[Kiltrash]

SImon Cowell sees another sure fire hit on his crop of talent shows ....this ain't one of them.

[Kiltrash]

I'm sure a Drone Cameraman's job involved sitting in a nice comfy cabin in Wyoming

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x400/twang_1822e149fa1073154efaa23189d1e4e0064ad312.png

[Kiltrash]

Passengers who cannot prove their Covid Status must still adhear to the 2 meter rule during the trip to tbe Oil Platform.

[Chu Chu]

Jeezus, what a nut.

[Buster Hyman]

No way am I going in the Cabin. Last time I did this, you should've seen how fast the fuselage was spinning!

[cavuman1]

And with a loud SPROING, young Mahatma was launched on his one-way flight to Kathmandu.

- Ed

[MPN11]

“… now use your Hips … and jump!”

[Surplus]

Just before engine start Rota TyeDown moved to his other job, Nosweelchok.

[Copenhagen]

The new Kabul children’s merry-go-round opens to mixed reviews.

[NutLoose]

Nigeria recruits their first flying doctor, Nigerian MP announcing the decision accused of being a spin doctor.

[Kiltrash]

If you want a phone signal you have to jump higher

[Kiltrash]

Ryanair ( Helicopter s ) Ltd find how to get on two extra passengers

[Kiltrash]

Man standing on floatation device....
Glad I paid the extra for Business Class.

[NutLoose]

Don’t worry, we have shortened the blade to account for your weight and Ahmed will count how many times you go past in a minute so we will know the rotor RPM.

[Kiltrash]

When I answered a ad for " Wing Sitters " this was not quite what I expected. ..

[Kiltrash]

Well that proves the ' Doppler Effect " I change colour from Red to Green and back again on each revolution.

[Kiltrash]

...and finally in the News Tonight, as a shortage of Enema kits due to Driver training backlog, a cheap cost effective solution is sought. Hoskins is , yet again , first up to test the apparatus. .

[treadigraph]

(Judging this evening while me dinner is burning!)

[Kiltrash]

If I get bl@@dy burnt salad again tonight I'm gonna top myself...

[Chu Chu]

Hoskins, I know I said the cabin was full and we'd have to sling him out of Kabul. But this isn't quite what I meant.

[treadigraph]

OK, it's nearly dinner time, so... the usual array of excellent responses, but here are my top three:Cavuman:

And with a loud SPROING, young Mahatma was launched on his one-way flight to Kathmandu.

Buster:

I heard hiding in the landing gear was dangerous, but I should be fine up here...

But tonight's winner is:

Fitliker:

Are you sure this is how Alan Bristow got his first start in aviation ?

Well done Mi8, the CST is en route via large Russian helicopter if we can unglue him from the blade...

[fitliker]

Can we do an open house ? Keep it fun :)

[Kiltrash]

If Buster and Cav are OK with me jumping in with a piccy as I would not be able to post captions for a few days as I am off up a Welsh Mountain for a few days, so Wi-Fi and 4G... Forget about it...

So may I offer up... and Fit can judge so we can move on??

K

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1124/r_1__1b8c6633a4c9842c11c32577cb1387410adde71f.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

2,3, and lift.

[Hydromet]

" I'm doing my best to ensure the dynasty continues...with the help of those lovely marching girls from the army."

[treadigraph]

Questions were asked about the number of players making up the DPRK's scrum...

[NutLoose]

I'll pass on this, the winner ONLY YESTERDAY was Cavumen and he is being GAZUMPED AGAIN!!!! What is the point of having a competition if the winners do not get a chance to post a picture...... :ugh:

[Dan Gerous]

I'll pass on this, the winner ONLY YESTERDAY was Cavumen and he is being GAZUMPED AGAIN!!!! What is the point of having a competition if the winners do not get a chance to post a picture...... :ugh:

Nutoose, the winner was fitliker and he opened it out to anyone.

[MPN11]

Photographer … “OK, everyone face camera and look miserable …”

[cattletruck]

I am your father.

[Hydromet]

"I twuly am the father of the nation".

[NutLoose]

Nutoose, the winner was fitliker and he opened it out to anyone.

What, you telling me I can't have a pointless rant for nothing now? Geez, these rules are getting stiffling... :\:uhoh::p

My bad. apologies...

[Buster Hyman]

Nutty, pictured with his crack team of Captioneers, decides to finally get glasses...:rolleyes:

:}

[Buster Hyman]

Guy on Kims Right: "Oi! Stop tweaking my nipple!"

[Buster Hyman]

In a disturbing new trend, Kim poses with those he is displeased with, just before the AA guns are rolled out.

[Buster Hyman]

In the last known photo of Capt. Mal. Nutrition, he decides to rest his chin on the lovely cushion provided.

[treadigraph]

Dress down Friday, DPRK-style...

[MPN11]

Frint Row Left smuggles something in jacket, or is pleased to see Great Leader.

[MPN11]

Kim: “Who this old git behind my left shoulder? I not authorise Dad’s Army.”

[NutLoose]

I no understand why Trump lose, everyone vote for me, if they no vote I send round the rabid dogs, mortar or artillery rounds to remind them to get out and vote.

[treadigraph]

The new James Bond film will feature Ernst Stavros Bloated and his evil henchmen, the Mister Rons...

[NutLoose]

And these are my armpit sweat absorbers.

[MPN11]

Kim: “Not happy day. Didn’t want photo with young T-ankers. Can’t you spell?”

[MPN11]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1124/r_1__1b8c6633a4c9842c11c32577cb1387410adde71f.jpg

[MPN11]

GL poses for photo with proud and happy pilots of new Cruise Missile attack squadron.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Kim's attempt to cheer up the Uranium manual handling platoon fall flat

[Big Pistons Forever]

Kim liked the Godfather movies, especially the line about keep your friends close but your enemies closer....

[MPN11]

“All together, now … 101 Green Missiles sitting on the Rail, and if one Green Missile, should accidentally fail … “

[ShyTorque]

Little did they know that they were his next secret weapon - human cannon balls.

[MPN11]

Fur hat, back row, left … “Harro Mum!”

[treadigraph]

Kim's latest Grand Idea to start a Welsh Male Voice Choir was lacking in so many ways...

[Dan Gerous]

What, you telling me I can't have a pointless rant for nothing now? Geez, these rules are getting stiffling... :\:uhoh::p

My bad. apologies...

You think you've got it bad, I can't even spell Nutloose.

[NutLoose]

You can come and stand in the corner of shame with me then.

[treadigraph]

While celebrating North Korea's National Day, Kim Jong-un receives the Queen's good wishes with a look of studied bafflement...

[Chu Chu]

A new cadre of Panmunjom guards show how they scowled their way to the top.

[Ascend Charlie]

Grorious Reader wipes his left hand on tanker's shoulder after giving the relieved-looking man behind, seen zipping up his fly, a quick hand-crank.

[Ascend Charlie]

Not a caption, but why is Elon Musk standing behind Kim? Giving him rocket lessons?

[fitliker]

You think he looks surprised you should see the bride .
Heard of shotgun weddings , but tank weddings ?

[Chu Chu]

Are we downhearted?

[Chu Chu]

Photographer (to self): That's the last time I mention cheese in the middle of a famine.

[NutLoose]

This is my team, we are heading to Afghanistan, we hear they are starving, being oppressed and are the pariah’s of the modern world, we feel we are ideally suited to run the country for them.

[NutLoose]

Meet my commode team, they help me on and off.

[Big Pistons Forever]

I know guys we didn’t win the CAPCOM trophy again ! Maybe choosing Nutloose as a screen name was a mistake….

[Ascend Charlie]

OK< if we all lift together, we can get the Leader's arse out of the toilet seat, he has been there for 2 days.

[fitliker]

The Pyongyang polyamorous pride parade pictures praised by Pirates and the Pontiff , apparently.

[Buster Hyman]

Ok, I have assembled a Green screen, so photoshop me onto Waikiki!

[fitliker]

Slowing down will call soon .

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Proof that there is no Korean word for "Smile".

[NutLoose]

These two i keep, the rest, feed them to the dogs.

[NutLoose]

Wemember, don't take off your hats, if he see our no approved hairstyles we for the chop.

[MPN11]

GL: "I want inclusive Army. Where are the girls in short skirts, climbing into tanks?"

[NutLoose]

I said smile, not look like the person behind you is giving you one.