Caption Competition Mk III

[Kiltrash]

The finalists of I'm a Celeb have a last night's dinner....no there's no winner, it's just their last night...EVER

[Kiltrash]

The Captain and officers are excited as the birthday cake is wheeled in...the female distinguished guests no so..
cr Erika Eleniak in Under Seige

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1280x576/screenshot_20230427_215427_1b5b25f442db0457f7eb187b9029293ef 3c48ed8.png

[treadigraph]

A sitting for "The Last Supper" by Leonardo da Kim Choi...

[Wensleydale]

...and suddenly the wall dropped and Michael McIntyre appeared....

[Wensleydale]

The new judging panel for this year's "North Korea's Got Talent".

[NutLoose]

With the turn over in Senior officers and a desire to be seen to be recycling, Kim was pleased to see his badge idea to hide the bullet holes in the previous owners uniform appeared to be a success.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1064/image_e48064dd0ca9c170292892a3bebb55db6bfccf8a.jpeg

[Buster Hyman]

Lu Wee Armstrong (centre) poses for a photo before breaking into a rendition of Herro Dorry!

[jolihokistix]

After a magnificent dinner, and having posed in front of their new coconut shy, the Kims had the table removed, picked up their balls from their baskets, and in a wonderful family scene, began to play.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

These guys are like a gunfighter entering a bar: Chink...chink....chink.

It's the sound they make. What were you thinking?

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

I know...I know. Whenever we go out for dinner, the wait staff always want to get a selfie with us. Just grin and bear it girls, otherwise who know what they will do to your food.

[Kiltrash]

Remember no food stains as Moss Bros have a stringent cleaning policy.

[Kiltrash]

At least the Generals are allowed to attend their own wake.

[Kiltrash]

Pvt Baldrick's is pleased to be announced as the Great Leaders personal chef...upon the recommendation by Capt Blackadder..

[Kiltrash]

In Harrods questions were later asked regarding the true loyalty of the Christmas Window Dresser when the display was revealed to excited Royalty visitors..

[Chu Chu]

The conspiracy to poison Kim with heavy metals floundered on a misunderstanding.

[Confusious]

As much as the photographer tried, he couldn't stop them blinking every time the flash went off.

[MPN11]

NAC ... you all do belly well .. I judge tomorrow. Sorry I late!

[Kiltrash]

Covid?? We never had that stinking Western disease ...

[Kiltrash]

Seven blind men, see how they run...
err that can't Great Leader...their blind..

[Kiltrash]

Great Leader, can we have the phone number of your hairdresser??...and a very nice haircut is is too....Emperor

[NutLoose]

I love this table, once eaten, rotate it three places and start again.


​​​​​​…

[Kiltrash]

Female on left thinks...
Not again. Another broody banquet just to satisfy the despots feelings of grandeur and power, when all I want is a tub of popcorn in my PJ's watching Emmerdale*
* Other mind numbing pointless brainwashing TV programmes are unfortunately available..

[Kiltrash]

As the speeches progress amazingly the flowers all turned their heads towards the speaker. Kim was assured that no listening devices were detected by the Security Services..

[Kiltrash]

Ah Agent MPN. ..welcome back from your covert operation ..come..sit with us and join the other 10 operatives

[Ascend Charlie]

General second from left has the secret smirk of the man who has hidden the notebooks of the other generals.

[MPN11]

Greetings, Honorable Contestants.

Joint Runners up are ...

Confusious … Kim's entry for the best decorated table at the local garden fete.
Wensleydale … In a new venture, The Pyongyang Sun starts its "Spot the Bullet" competition. Readers have to put a cross where they think the sniper's bullet will land...the closest will win a day's supply of cat food.

The Winner of the CST Trophy and a tin medal is ...

Big Pistons Forever … Daddy, why did my last Birthday party have all different Generals ?

Over to you, Sir.

[Big Pistons Forever]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x628/f_15_fighter_crashed_into_police_car_2d403f9f9431a23350e7067 5579f621387e28624.jpg

Here you go boys I expect you to "crush" this CAPCOM :}

[sealo0]

It’s all right boys it will polish out.

[treadigraph]

Officer Dibble found out the hard way that running red lights while in pursuit could be hazardous...

[Sue Vêtements]

The downside of the low visibility paint scheme

[MPN11]

Good try, Hoskins ... here's the bill.

[Ascend Charlie]

Brake-checking an F-15 is never a good idea.

[MPN11]

Errr ... may I see your Airfield Driving Permit, Sir? Oh, and please blow into this ...

[NutLoose]

Erm I always thought a fly drive trip were two separate items.

[Kiltrash]

Female Driver and Female Pilot...what could possibly go wrong??
only if there's a Female Navigator...Sir

[Kiltrash]

Inside the US Base in Lakenheath, Treaders wanted a close up photo...on his Dashcam...

[Kiltrash]

With regret lads, no Sat Night beer for you, the Boss wants his plane serviceable for tomorrow...

[Kiltrash]

Your supposed to follow the Dragon Lady , not preceding it down the runway

[Kiltrash]

Jaguar on the M55?...Pah hold my beer and watch this...

[Dan Gerous]

It should get on the centreline pylon, but I don't think it will fit on the missile pylons.

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x628/f_15_fighter_crashed_into_police_car_2d403f9f9431a23350e7067 5579f621387e28624.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

Maybe it will fit on the "E".

[cavuman1]

Strike Eagle pilot receives a traffic citation for aggravated buggery: he was following too closely.

- Ed

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

I got the idea from a British puppet show from the 60's. It seemed to work ok then.

[Ascend Charlie]

Roscoe P. Coltrane and Cletus thought it would be a good idea to try to stop the F-15 by pulling in front of it. Boss Hawg will not be happy.

[Chu Chu]

When I said to police the area under the aircraft . . .

[Buster Hyman]

Well, I guess that's the difference between Passive & Active Radar right there!

[Buster Hyman]

The Eagle has landed...

[Buster Hyman]

Who said F-15's couldn't land on a flat top?

[Kiltrash]

Houston..
We have a problem
Or
The Eagle has Landed...Buster beat me to that
Or
Eagles Lair
or
Where Eagles dare

[Kiltrash]

Can you give me a lift to the repair shop??...it's just over there on BBC1

[Kiltrash]

In a Wing and a Prius ..

[Kiltrash]

Eagle later wished he had landed on a soft top
or
Landed on a car with a retractable Ariel..

[Kiltrash]

Hoskins was later asked just where did he get the paint for his car ??
From the F117 just over there...was the reply

[sealo0]

Top Gear meets Top Gun

or

Bottom Gear meets Top Gun

[treadigraph]

Lt Heath-Robinson, there has to be an easier way to convert your unit into a cabriolet...

[Buster Hyman]

Now we know what the 'F' in F-15 means!

[Kiltrash]

Yes Mr Everett, that really was a Cupid Stunt you just pulled.

[Kiltrash]

You got it there, so you get it out...were off to the pub, Mav and Goose are on the piano

[Kiltrash]

Does this count as FORD??

[Kiltrash]

There I was nothing on the clock but the makers name, and Double Engine Flameout ..so I thought $100m jet or a knock for knock insurance claim??

[Kiltrash]

How was i to know the diversionary airfield had been bought by a car auction site...

[Kiltrash]

Well I think we can call that as a test of a Zero Zero Bang seat a success.

[Kiltrash]

The Sheriff later put out a all points bulletin to find that British Secret Agent..

[Kiltrash]

Early tests to fit the Strike Eagle with Dumb Bombs ..

[Kiltrash]

Well the Brits could not fit a Tall Boy in the Bomb Bay either, so nothing new in Aviation..

[sealo0]

I see autonomous cars have still got work in do

[Dan Gerous]

There's your problem right there, he didn't have the anti collision beacon switched on.

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x628/f_15_fighter_crashed_into_police_car_2d403f9f9431a23350e7067 5579f621387e28624.jpg

[NutLoose]

Items in your mirrors may be bigger than they appear.

[Chu Chu]

Police adopt lower profile.

[Chu Chu]

We just got a call about our birdstrike log. Apparently there was only one breeding pair of gray eagles in the entire state.

[Kiltrash]

Initially the speedcop did not believe a Gatso went over 88 MPH...

[Kiltrash]

...and thats why we don't ever push the jet out the hanger without wing and tail walkers ..

[Kiltrash]

When we need to jump start the engine, normally we just use booster cables ..

[Kiltrash]

Well no one put ' Remove before flight ' streamers on it...so I didn't...

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

When Chuck said he drove an old bomb, no one took him seriously.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

USA - World Police. And they do deliveries.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

USAF Military Police trial ways to stop Chinese spy satellites from counting how many police cars they have.

[Buster Hyman]

Smokey was shocked at the Bandits new ride!

[Chu Chu]

Bobby Joe's plan to drive under an inflatable decoy and post it on TikTok ran into in unexpected hitch.

[Chu Chu]

Or (kicking myself):

Bobby Joe's plan to drive under an inflatable decoy and post it on TikTok collided with reality.

[Kiltrash]

As AF1 landed in Baghdad, they did not expect the local Police to provide such close protection .

[Kiltrash]

The tire marks? Don't worry the'll buff out

[Kiltrash]

Claytus later regretted getting so close behind the Kallita B747 on take off power at Mildenhall...
What.. all the way to Lakenheath??
Yep.

[Kiltrash]

Normally it's Monster Trucks at the East of England Bank Holiday show in Peterborough.

[Kiltrash]

Objects In the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are...
cr Meatloaf

Nutty keep up to speed please..😄

[Kiltrash]

Sarge, great news, at least the fluffy dice can be reused.

[Kiltrash]

James May voice....
Taxed Worse...

[Kiltrash]

After the ' experts ' spend 12 hours scratching their collective heads how to extract the patrol car from under the fighter jet, a passing 9 year old Nutty did it in only 5 minutes . .how??
a) Let the air out the tyres?..
Or
b) Skills learnt on the streets of Liverpool??...

[Buster Hyman]

Luckily for the cops, their donuts cushioned the blow!

[Kiltrash]

Mogwi forgot he was on secondment to USAF

[Kiltrash]

It was only after the accidend did the Sheriff notice the sign, " All Breakages Must Be Paid For.."...What on my Wages??
or
We consider breakages as sold.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Gents

I have to call this one early as it looks like I will be incommunicado for a few days.

Much as it pains me, and I mean it’s truly hurts :ouch: I have to give the piece of FOD errrr, I mean CAPCOM trophy to Buster :{ for his entry

​​​​​​
The Eagle has landed...

[Buster Hyman]

Gee, I hope it wasn't too painful BPF!!!! :p

Okie-diddley-dokie! Lets have a crack at this!


https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/640x426/tankoverboard_8852ebe4ce0f72c44b87c08dd1d2415d100c7fa4.jpg

[622]

Irish Navy anti submarine weapon..:E

[Wensleydale]

"No. Water Tank" was a code name!"

[Wensleydale]

Splash One!

[Jin First]

I distinctly remember saying add 55 Oil Drums for buoyancy, who wrote it down as 55 gallon Oil Drum?

[jolihokistix]

Latest Russian Armata substitute hesitates to get its toes wet.

[622]

I don't care what the rules do or don't say Lt Hoskins ......you are not using that in the annual army fishing competition!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Hang on, a couple of pages of the manual were stuck together. This one says "Erect canvas screens"

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Famed Russian stunt man Ivan Knivan gets his record breaking jump sums badly wrong.

[Dan Gerous]

I'm curious, how did you get to the carrier from the embassy?

[Dan Gerous]

A little something for the Ukranian fishermen.

[treadigraph]

SCUBA - Self Contained Underwater Bombarding Apparatus...

[treadigraph]

No Hoskins, you can't use the gun barrel as a snorkel...

[NutLoose]

We do like to send them off with a fanfare, hence we called this the drum roll

[Confusious]

Right you lot, who told Private Hoskins that the air in the empty oil drum would keep it afloat?

[NutLoose]

Russia recover their latest batch of tanks out of storage.

[Dan Gerous]

We're not gonna need a bigger boat. Fill the drum with chum and I'll sort the shark out.

[SLXOwft]

No! UAV, does not mean underwater armoured vehicle...

[SLXOwft]

'Fear Naught-ical' - exercises commence for the RTR's new Lobster Squadron attached to 24 Commando RE.

[Kiltrash]

Having run out of old Aircraft Carriers to sink as Artificial reefs, the Army takeover that ecological task.

[Kiltrash]

Diane Abbot weight and Balance ...again...fail

[Kiltrash]

After the closure of Bovington Museum, the receivers descide these are better served as breakwaters off Chesil Beach.

[treadigraph]

Local fisherman nets a whopper! "You should have seen the one that got away!" he told our reporter...

[Kiltrash]

Sonar Operator on USS Dallas reports to the captain he can hear the Red October's Caterpillar Drive

[treadigraph]

Croydon police prepare to patrol the mean and vastly potholed streets...

[Kiltrash]

No sir, it just won't sink...
Well it is a Leopard Tank, you know big cats hate the water .

[Confusious]

If SpaceX did submarines.

[Kiltrash]

Gardyloo.*...
* on the assumption very very few of you will have a scooby about this I attach the Wiki Page...
I had a Uncle that served on her in Leith. He did offer a free trip,fortunalty I declined his offer

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Gardyloo

[MPN11]

The Ukraine Turret Tossing competition steps up a gear ….

[treadigraph]

Tide's in? Oh wait, did we put the clocks forward?

[Kiltrash]

As usual Jeremy went overboard with his Build a Hovercraft out of a Van, Challenge.

[Kiltrash]

In Aldershot the Tank Driving course was a popular Adventure Gift....It was classed as All Weather, a little rain never stops your enjoyment, was the claim

[Kiltrash]

The Ukraine Authorities welcome any Farmer that brings in a Destroyed Russian Tank...the Fishermen want a piece of the action.

[Kiltrash]

The reenactment of June 6 did not go quite accord to plan..

[Kiltrash]

Throw it back, it's only a tiddler..

[Kiltrash]

In the search for MH390 the survey vessel, which is on a ' no find no Pay contract' , starts to look in the impossible places...

[sealo0]

Damn left foot braking

[Kiltrash]

The UK Border Farce start to see a worrying trend for the Asylum Seekers due to a shortage of small inflatable boats...

[sealo0]

I don’t think they will bother with this in 450 years like The Mary Rose

[sealo0]

Is that how the Russians broke the pipeline

[sealo0]

Russian game of jeopardy: sink or swim you choose? Aarrr sink, what next?

[sealo0]

After stealing the only working tank left in Russia Hoskinski thought he had better hide it somewhere safe.

[sealo0]

Prized new Russian sub makes its first appearance

[sealo0]

Hoskinski l said Put water in it NOT it in the water

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

I don't know why it won't go in. I think it might be afraid of the water.

[Wensleydale]

Sevastopol is a bit of a dive these days.....

[sealo0]

Where’s that Bailey bridge, oh no they have nicked that as well!!

[sealo0]

Low flying tanks that’s a new one

[Wensleydale]

The driver blamed George Russell...

[sealo0]

Hoskinski get it back there’s no battle markings!

[Chu Chu]

You said to drop the tanker, but he refused to open the hatch.

Anchor, Hoskins, anchor.

[NutLoose]

Wash all the battalions tanks for being late on parade says the bloody RSM, well I’ll show him, I’ll bloody wash em alright.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/640x426/image_ca321e3925fe223c0549f186bc6267384ffa7b54.jpeg

[NutLoose]

No comrade the Kerch bridge is passable..

fecking Russians… that’ll teach em.

[NutLoose]

Hang on Virgil, you’ve got the wrong pod, that’s not Thunderbird 4

[treadigraph]

Hang on a minute lads, I've got a great idea...

[Chu Chu]

When I said we needed to launch anything with a periscope, I didn’t mean it literally.

[Kiltrash]

Where we're going Marty we don't need no roads..

[Kiltrash]

Ms Dimmock wants a tank as a water feature.

[Kiltrash]

To put this in Football Parlance...
" Your going down "

[Kiltrash]

In the winner takes all tug of war between the ' dozer and the tank. can you see who accidentally let go of the rope Children??

[Kiltrash]

Yes but why the oil drum??
You want to find where the Lobster Pots are don't you??

[Kiltrash]

So just why did you name it Jesus H Christ ..??
Well want to see it walking on water.

[Kiltrash]

Are you sure this is what we signed up for as AUKUS??

[NutLoose]

They really did think we were deporting them to Rwanda.



​​​​​​…

[NutLoose]

We’re calling it Operation Septic Tank, we take tank full of Russian sh*ts then sink it below ground level.

[cavuman1]

Water Tank.

- Ed

[jolihokistix]

The successful launch of the new Russian submersible floating tank was followed by rapid unscheduled disassembly.

[Kiltrash]

In preparation for Coronation Day the Gold State coach is given a quick brushup..

[Kiltrash]

Lewis accuses Marcedes of giving him a real Tank of a car to drive in Azerbaijan...
Which as everyone knows is actually below sea level...

[Kiltrash]

In Formby the Scroat later told the Police it had fallen off the back of a lorry...

[Kiltrash]

Kiltrash has, of course, got the World's largest fish tank, so he needs the World's largest Ornaments in it..

[Wensleydale]

The cost of replacing Russian armour was described by the Kremlin as "just a drop in the Ocean".

[SLXOwft]

State of that tank, sonny, best thing to do is give it a float test.

[sealo0]

Hoskinski take on the International Birdman competition off Bognor Pier needed work

[treadigraph]

That tank's a proper turd so it won't float...

[Hydromet]

Tanks for the memory.

[NutLoose]

For his Birthday present this year the Oligarchs got together and bought Putin another submarine trip after he enjoyed the first one with the glass bubble, although he complained about water dripping from the hatch.. this time they ensured there were no leaks by welding the hatches shut.

[NutLoose]

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, may you lie at the bottom and quietly rust.

[NutLoose]

Meanwhile in Berdyansk harbour, the Russians continue to load their remaining Tank Landing ship..

[NutLoose]

Da, if they cannot find the tank, how can they say we stole the engine.

[Wensleydale]

"Damn! We forgot to use the pine poles!"

[jolihokistix]

Scousers getting rid of the evidence.

[NutLoose]

Sub detected off our stern, deploy counter measures.

[Kiltrash]

When we said to dunk it in a bath to free the rusted bits, we meant of Castrol...

[Kiltrash]

Man in blue shirt..
STOP..STOP....I think I left my phone in there
Or
See .. we don't need no Hi Viz..
Or
Well there I was umpiring when Sir Geoff was batting. I nodded off and woke up here...

[Kiltrash]

Top Gear revisit the death of Black Stig

[treadigraph]

Just when you want Italian to use reverse...

[Chu Chu]

When I said the tank was equipped to negotiate the battle surface, I didn’t mean it could battle surface.

[Kiltrash]

Having cleared the decks of detritus the crew prepared to be towed to Portland and its next ( VERY ) lucrative contract as a UK Asylum Seeker hostel..

[Kiltrash]

Well if Mythbusters managed to film a 50cal bullet shooting through water, see what they make of this...
or
Like shooting fish in a barrel...

[Kiltrash]

Paddy tries to recreate the famous picture of the IOWA class Battleship firing a 9 gun broadside ..

[Copenhagen]

I’m glad I took the zero excess option on the car rental Mavis.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Hoskins, you do know what the 'L' in LCT stands for, don't you?

[treadigraph]

Clarkson attempts to recreate the Bond Lotus Elite stunt from the Spy Who Loved Me with a tank...

Next week he'll recreate the barrel roll from The Man With The Golden Gun... with a tank...

[fdr]

"Sarge, are you sure you got your maths right? Archimedes might not agree with using a 44 gallon drum to turn the T-55 into an amphibian... I think.... okay, the divers will enjoy it anyway. Yes Sir!, 100 press-ups, over the oil slick, Sir!, thank you Sir!"

[NutLoose]

It’s that bloody A Team again.. dropping out the back of aircraft.

[NutLoose]

The Russian filmmakers finish the final shoot of their version of the film “Da Titanic” of the Red Star line by throwing da “Heart of the Ocean” off the aft deck.
The new film reveals never before seen footage of Da Titanic’s epic struggles after hitting a submerged American nuclear submarine.

[Ascend Charlie]

Having run out of pianos in the Officers' Mess, the lads borrow a tank from the Enlisted Men's games room, and launch it off the deck.

[Kiltrash]

Throw it back, it's only a six pounder...

[Kiltrash]

While not being ULEZ compliant Barry was sure he has found a way to get his old tank into London .

[Kiltrash]

...and a final test was successfull with raising a metal box off the sea floor using 7.2m ping pong balls..

[Chu Chu]

We’ve all heard the expression “drink like a fish,” but I’ve never seen them get tanked before.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/640x426/image_cbfc13f541c4794bd2ebc3131e8e658de52c0bb5.png

[Kiltrash]

Suspended animation

[Kiltrash]

Italian Tank engages forward...whatta mistakka to ah Makka..

[Kiltrash]

I still don't think it will float however it's your tank not mine..

[MPN11]

# Tanks for the memories ... #

[SLXOwft]

Defence cuts meant the launching of the new HMS Bulldog was 'unusual'

[Wensleydale]

The T-55 on e-bay was cheaper than buying a new anchor.

[Dan Gerous]

Close hatches, dive, dive, dive.

[cavuman1]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/640x426/image_cbfc13f541c4794bd2ebc3131e8e658de52c0bb5.png
Designed by Thomas Andrews and built by Harland and Wolff, the Tanktanic proved to be as unsinkable as its predecessor.

- Ed

[Chu Chu]

I’ve always said that was a handsome tank. But I never expected it to pull a Narcissus.

[Buster Hyman]

Okay, seeing that it's Fri-yay!!! Let's move it along for the weekend...

Honorable mentions to the A-team. AUKUS, & Coronation entries!

In third place with the "I assume you mean the Red ones" award...
Scousers getting rid of the evidence.

Runner up with the "Measuring ones envy" award...
Throw it back, it's only a six pounder...

But the winner, with the "Topical & Chuckle able" award is...
Russia recover their latest batch of tanks out of storage.

[jolihokistix]

Phew! A mention at last.

I've been brushing my teeth religiously, and liberally applying pitstop recently, so that must have done the trick! :}

[Kiltrash]

Caption waiting for picture...
Buster has a cunning plan to keep Nutty from dominating captions ..🇳🇿

[NutLoose]

Ok, try these Russians.. and Thanks Buster.. :)


https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1300x866/image_efa8ee889e699d58c0f87653fde6f75f5c65a3eb.png

[Buster Hyman]

"Incoming HIMARS? Is that like a new email Sergei?"

[Buster Hyman]

"The recruiting Officer said I would go straight to Grind'r, but it won't log me in!"

[Buster Hyman]

"They said it was the latest military kit, but it's nothing like the photos on the news!"

[Buster Hyman]

"According to Googleski Mapski, this should be Kyiv!"

[Confusious]

This is amazing, I just hit the Kremlin with a drone controlled from my phone.

Wow, so did I.

[Chu Chu]

The Ukrainian esprit de corps remained high; the Russians were just phoning it in

[treadigraph]

Soldier: "Wow! Putin has just sacked me for incompetence!"

Officer: "Me too... in fact the entire military has been sacked! He says if you need something doing properly..."

Together: "I'm the last man in The Kremlin, I sacked everybody last week. The generals were all bloody useless and not of the calibre I seek..."

[Buster Hyman]

"I got called up because they can't find any Nazi's in Ukraine. Apparently, we're the only ones that'll recognise them!"

[treadigraph]

Oh look! We're the PPRuNe caption contest this weekend!

[Kiltrash]

Soldier on left wonders why he has a red target on his helmet, soldier on right wonders if anyone in the changing rooms noticed he has red lip stick mark's on his c*ck

[Kiltrash]

The England Football Fans at World Cup 2018 send pictures back home of their tourist purchases.

[Kiltrash]

Look Sergie, at these Western Grannies just dying for strong virile Russian husband's...
You fool Ivan, that's Theresa May ..

[Kiltrash]

Nope 007ski can't find Salisbury Cathedral ...let's just knock on that door and try the handle and ask a local

[Kiltrash]

Mines bigger than yours..

[Kiltrash]

At Kiyv Madam Tussauds the tourists think this is appropriate attire

[jolihokistix]

Two of Russia’s finest look up how to say “Welcome to Moscow!” in Ukrainian.

[treadigraph]

Soldier on left demonstrates hands free urination...

[Kiltrash]

Says our UBER is a white Mercedes and its here..

[Kiltrash]

This Airdrop is a great way to share pictures ..
Looks up..AIRDROP..panics and runs away

[Kiltrash]

Later regretted walking in the cycle lane ... https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1300x866/image_efa8ee889e699d58c0f87653fde6f75f5c65a3eb.png

[Kiltrash]

This Social Media is a great way to link up with other lonely hearts..now where's the clock at Waterloo

[MPN11]

"I can't understand a word of it. Don't they speak Cyrillic over there?"

[Dan Gerous]

This app on ADSB is brilliant. Just type in your location and it will tell you if there are any incoming missiles.

[treadigraph]

What star sign are you?

Sagittarius...

Lemme see... "A new window will open for you later today. You may find it presents something of a headache initially but this will swiftly pass." Wow, I wonder what that can mean?

[Hydromet]

"Targeted advertisements are bad enough, but what's this incoming?"

[Big Pistons Forever]

Wow the General is sure a nice guy. He gave me his helmet and his phone. I will order some Pizza.

[jolihokistix]

They all stopped whatever they were doing for today's exciting new episode of 'Master Chef from the Front Lines' with Prigozhin and invited guests.

[Hydromet]

"This Amerikanski just bid $5 on Ebay for a General's cap."
"Doesn't he know that for $10 he can have a General."

[Buster Hyman]

The Wagner recruits went downhill after the initial batch!

[Dan Gerous]

I'm seeing nothing on ebay what about you?
Nah there's f*** all camo gear on Amazon, and you have to watch the sizes on Ali Baba, they're always smaller than stated.

[Dan Gerous]

Hey, Just Eat are using drones to deliver to the front lines. Borsch anyone?

[Chu Chu]

I never question orders, but why are we crashing our drones into the Senate?

And why do they keep spelling it R-E-I-C-H-S-T-A-G?

[MPN11]

"This Coronation coverage is rather good. And they have very nice uniforms, unlike us."

[Chu Chu]

Typical. I volunteer for a "suicide mission" and they send me to Moscow to fly drones.

That's funny. They told me the same thing.

[andytug]

"Hey Sergei, given we're running out of artillery shells, why don't we catapult pigs into Kyiv? It seems to work on here?"

[Buster Hyman]

Do I swipe left or right?

[Kiltrash]

Got this from Del Boyski... no guarantee no workee

Same here

[Kiltrash]

So just how do I turn off Location service.....

[Kiltrash]

My back pack contains the spare Lithium Ion batteries...keeps my back warm..

[Buster Hyman]

"Hank?"
"Yes Biff"
"Do they even celebrate Halloween here in Kyiv?"