Caption Competition Mk III

[Kiltrash]

When it all calms down at home, can I claim Political Asylum in your country? ...said Rishi.

[Kiltrash]

Don't think much of the in flight catering...
well have you never flown Ryanair??

[Kiltrash]

Thank you for introducing me to PPRuNe...Your expert's advice and insite will help us defeat Putin.

[sealo0]

Was it really that small!

[Copenhagen]

And the winner is Dan Gerous with….

Hah hah hah hah, but no seriously... give me fighter aircraft or I push you out the back.

dan your turn to enlighten us.

[NutLoose]

Well done Copenhagen, I’ve pm’d him as well as winners sometimes miss that they have won and Kiltrash gets withdrawn symptoms. :p

[Dan Gerous]

Thanks Copenhagen, and Nutty for the pm.

Let's see what the collective wit can come up with for this one.

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x768/prune_7__c6097c4e81773de202737de031a77ee6b80b885a.jpg

[Wensleydale]

"A SPARE AM I?"

[Kiltrash]

A crew of two you say? ... is this classed as over manning..??

[Kiltrash]

Sorry lads, you have all been sent to Coventry

[Kiltrash]

The BOI later said the accident was caused when the crew got off and forgot to set the Autopilot

[Kiltrash]

Marty finally realised what Doc meant when he said where were going we don't need no runway.

[Ascend Charlie]

"I said I want my privacy! Don't look at me!....ohh..they aren't looking at me..."

[treadigraph]

Collective bargaining, eh? If you lot don't clear the runway in seconds flat, I'll...

[Buster Hyman]

This stealth mode is awesome! They’ve no idea that we’re here!

[Buster Hyman]

Everyone got tired of hearing about Harry’s big Chopper.

[treadigraph]

Well, now you know who wears the Night Vision Goggles in my marriage...

[Confusious]

It's time to add artificial engine noise to our electric helicopter fleet.

[Buster Hyman]

“Okay, I’ll just wait for the runway to clear”
”Tarmac”
”Err, you’re welcome, but don’t call me Mack!”

[treadigraph]

"I hear with my little ear something beginning with A..."

[cynicalint]

Come by Shep! Come by...

[cynicalint]

Controlling cats is a lot easier than herding junior aircrew!

[NutLoose]

Now what do we do? The rules of engagement clearly states do not attack until you can see the whites of their eyes..

[NutLoose]

Cor, this new whisper mode is fantastic, quick, let’s get over to Section Officer Harvey’s room and see what’s happening.

[Hydromet]

Too close for rockets, switching to Elsan.

[NutLoose]

According to the Home Secretary’s brief, we can use the gun to disperse the Just Stop Oil protesters and leave the Police to pick up the pieces.

[NutLoose]

Damn, can you spot the chap with the little red flag?

[NutLoose]

Don’t worry, I have the chaps doing a FOD Plod, one of them will find your 12 inch ruler.

[NutLoose]

Ok I’ll fly over them, you drop the bowling ball

[Ascend Charlie]

"No, no, no! I dropped my contact lens in the grass! IN THE GRASS! Why can't they hear me..."

[Kiltrash]

General later questions why Seal Team 6 did not rehearse at night time?? ..Overtime he was told..Overtime

[Kiltrash]

Revamped BAOR is sent to assist the Ukrainian forces ...but only if Russia invaded Monday-Friday

[Kiltrash]

Gunner Harry looks to put another 10 notches on his scorecard.....even if their friendly

[treadigraph]

Luton Airport - gateway to the World...

[NutLoose]

Which ones Custer?

[Wensleydale]

When you regret wearing a high visibility belt....

[Wensleydale]

Brian was beginning to suspect that the gay helicopter pilot who he met in the NAAFI was stalking him.

[Buster Hyman]

"Call the Ball!"
"Well. If they'd just turn around then I might be able to!"

[Buster Hyman]

Phew! That was lucky. I only just noticed their High Vis belts!

[Chu Chu]

Why does it always leave little nails across the runway?

It's a tack helicopter.

[SLXOwft]

It's behind you ...


Another bl*%dy pantomime.

[SLXOwft]

Rotorheads stage a collective walk out following agreement they were anti talk peddling jokes about the former Captain Wales AAC and the cyclic winning of Mil-Av's cap com.

[NutLoose]

Just like herding sheep into a coral, only we use a Chinook.

[treadigraph]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x768/prune_7__c6097c4e81773de202737de031a77ee6b80b885a.jpg

[NutLoose]

Look at them, the artillery’s never been the same since we gave their guns away.

[Kiltrash]

At Yeovilton the full size layout of the flight deck of the QNLZ ,.. aircraft handlers, for the training off..however the 80 foot drop off the edge was not taken into account

[Kiltrash]

In preparation for the King's Coronation, the Army go back to first steps to get in shape for the march down the Mall..
General thinks this is gonna take more that 3 months, bang goes my MBE then.

[Kiltrash]

For Red Nose day the Army attempt to pull a helicopter along the runway...however in a fit of pique Harry deliberately left the hand brake on...

[Kiltrash]

If you think the men are not happy, just you wait till they get to the NAFFI van and discover there's only 6 tea cups left.

[cavuman1]

It's like herding cats, but more difficult.

- Ed

[Wensleydale]

The French Police practise new tactics for use against Liverpool football supporters.

[Kiltrash]

When it was announced that Hoskins was to transition to Rotorheads, the other troops descided it was safer to bug out.

[Kiltrash]

The Doctor and his / her companions later discovered that stairs no longer proved a problem to the Daleks.

[Kiltrash]

Later it was descided that this was not as Dangerous as first thought.

[Buster Hyman]

The soldiers of the modern Army turn their backs on the culturally appropriated Apache.

[treadigraph]

Shopping in Croydon on a Saturday afternoon...

[Kiltrash]

There that proves it, you CAN get 9 troops in a Apache...4 in the front and 5 in the back...where's the Guinness World Record overseers...

[Kiltrash]

On the set of TG3 the stunt doubles were disappointed not to be needed after all...

[Kiltrash]

Mid action still from the movie. " Transformers meet Robbie the Robot. "

[NutLoose]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x768/image_d3fd3763b706eb894b1809943ea4c4871085e579.jpeg

Defiantly Catering Corp, look, there’s f*ck all ready.

[MPN11]

“OK, you shrank the CO … very funny. Now get out there and find him.”

[Kiltrash]

Having dropped the troops off, Harry flew back to base, However Bentwaters was not Woodbridge.. Simple mistake to make when they build bases close to each other ...

[Kiltrash]

The Army band looked forward to get on the Piano Keys...

[Kiltrash]

So remind me again, just why does a Helicopter need to use a runway??
Well if you were not doing this inspection you would be lazing around in the mess...

[Big Pistons Forever]

Why when I really have to Pee the landing area is never available ?

[Chu Chu]

Looks like we're walking home. When they promised a tandem helicopter, I thought they meant a Chinook.

[SLXOwft]

Pte Hoskins was just about to find out how the RSM dealt with scruffy bar stewards who stuck their hands in their pockets.

[Dan Gerous]

Afraid I'll have to call this now folks' in second place is Buster with
Phew! That was lucky. I only just noticed their High Vis belts!]

And last but first, the winner is SLXOwft with
[QUOTE[color=#000000]][Pte Hoskins was just about to find out how the RSM dealt with scruffy bar stewards who stuck their hands in their pockets./QUOTE]

Once the Apache crew have got the grunts rounded up and penned in for the night, they'll drop the trophy off to you.

[SLXOwft]

Many thanks DG.

I await the incoming humour.

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1333/071006_f_3366a_103_9e690acdb28a0330843b6ebf43384cb13efea1c7. jpg
Courtesy of the US DoD / SSgt Brian Hibbert

[cavuman1]

A long time ago in a Galaxy far, far away....

- Ed

[622]

Introducing the new 'C5 tankbuster'!

[Big Pistons Forever]

The boss said it was time to open up another can of WHUP-ASS !

[Big Pistons Forever]

The last thing Putin remebered before he woke up from his nightmare....

[NutLoose]

Now we will cut a hole on the front door and we are good to go, boy will this give them a surprise a vulcan armed C5

[NutLoose]

Now that what i call a birdstike

[NutLoose]

Ignore it, it's just "Hogging" the limelight.

[NutLoose]

Detroit launches its latest "drive by shooter" model.

[NutLoose]

Does my butt look big in this?...

[treadigraph]

As mid-airs go, that one was pretty amazing!

[cynicalint]

Those scruffy bar stewards who stuck their hands in their pockets did not learn a lesson from the Apache, lets see what happens to them now!

[Kiltrash]

Check the load sheet again, I'm sure it was a Helicopter we were to load.

[Kiltrash]

...and the Loose Women say giving birth is painfull...

[Kiltrash]

Fortunately the cargo bay was empty when the brakes failed aproaching the hanger ....

[Kiltrash]

Parasitic fighter for the airborne Aircraft Carrier...
..and how fast can you fit the wings on launch ??

[Kiltrash]

ATC panicked as the radar return merged
Or
TCAS advisory ...

[Kiltrash]

Owing to the last minute descission to allow Pres Biden to go to Ukraine the wrong C5 was sent...the one WITHOUT the Beast

[Kiltrash]

Owing to space limitations at AMARG double parking was allowed

[ShyTorque]

“Told you we needed a big bait to catch one of these!”

[treadigraph]

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1333/071006_f_3366a_103_9e690acdb28a0330843b6ebf43384cb13efea1c7. jpg

[treadigraph]

It's the new Steven Spielberg film - it's a remake combining elements of Jaws and You Only Live Twice...

[Big Pistons Forever]

That's nice, but the only problem is this squadron flies F16’s

[Big Pistons Forever]

See nobody ticked the box marked “wings” !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Who knew the NATO stock number for bog paper is only one transposed digit from the one for demanding an A10 ?

[Dan Gerous]

I know what you're thinking, did he fire 1,173 or 1,174 rounds. Well in all the excitement I lost count, but ask yourself, do you feel lucky. Well do you punk!

[Dan Gerous]

Nobody ever believed Hoskins when he said he was a nose gunner on Galaxy's.

[Kiltrash]

Suddenly the C5 Pilots had a A10 Pilot join them....dang Ejection seat was not 'safe '

[Kiltrash]

Loadie one to Loadie two....well that's why it's taking so long, I'm trying to load it IN...

[Kiltrash]

Thunderbird 5.5 ...
yes I know neither are F-16's...

[Kiltrash]

At Stansted the new Marine one is unloaded....before the President's visit to..wait for it ..Croydon..😊

[Ascend Charlie]

After the A-10 was parked overnight at Liverpool, the Lads considered themselves lucky the wheels were left on, as they put the remains on the C-5.

[Chu Chu]

55 years late, a C-5 is equipped with an armored cockpit.

[Buster Hyman]

surprise mudder pluckers!!! Bwahahahaha!!!!

[Buster Hyman]

I know we like to “plough the field”, but that Ukrainian tractor over there is making me nervous.

[Kiltrash]

Red Bull...

[Kiltrash]

After Hank has a severe sneezing fit in the cockpit, the remains are flown stateside....well no one wanted to clean THAT cockpit.

[Kiltrash]

Having landed at Duxford to deliver the latest museum piece, the ground crew waited to see if Hoskins could make good on his promise to get airborne before the M11

[Buster Hyman]

"Behind you!!!"

[622]

Stand clear ...when I say 'fire' it should load itself!

[sealo0]

“Tips, for the use of anyone?”

[Dan Gerous]

A quick top up with Red Bull and she'll be ready to go.

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1333/071006_f_3366a_103_9e690acdb28a0330843b6ebf43384cb13efea1c7. jpg

[Chu Chu]

There’s more than one way to eliminate a radar signature.

[622]

Unfortunately, Hoskins was about 10 minutes too late in letting the load crew know his measurements were 'a bit out'....

[622]

Spanish ex train Manager gets new job as Air Force load specialist

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-64717605

[andytug]

Possibly a mistake to let Tom Cruise do the latest "Alien" remake....

[NutLoose]

Showing Russia how it should be done, American A-10 delivered to Ukraine aboard C-5A " Matryoshka Doll " .

[Wensleydale]

Early trials of the AC-5 Gunship were proving difficult.

[Kiltrash]

20 seconds before Iceman reported " Mav's in a flat spin heading out to sea. "...
Fortunatly just as a C5 was passing at 5000 foot with the loading door open wide....

. and so TG2 was never made...

[Kiltrash]

What really happened after the Captain said to the LH seater and said.... " Hold my beer and watch this "

[Kiltrash]

The Motor insurance company later said it was no fault accident and both parties were to resolve their own claimant's costs...

[Kiltrash]

Loadie #3 was pressed into holding the engine up on his head when Hoskins forgot to load the equipment ....Well said H, the bay was already full of knackerred old aircraft.....

[Self loading bear]

Alternative to A-10 wing replacement is tested successfully but funding stays an issue.

or

Is this the first A-10 which needs its 3rd wing?

[Self loading bear]

Spanish ex train Manager gets new job as Air Force load specialist

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-64717605

Thread drift: They should have known better. Spanish companies have experience in delivering too tall trains:
South Africa Prasa trains too large (https://www.news24.com/fin24/companies/spain-investigates-corrupt-too-tall-trains-sale-while-sa-has-taken-no-action-20220812)

[NutLoose]

I thought you said we were going to provide Choppers to Ukraine?

Well we are, we had to chop her wings off to get it in.



..

[Dan Gerous]

Is that the sound of the winch cable taking the strain, or is the gun spooling up?

[Chu Chu]

I told you mixing international feet and US survey feet was going to cause trouble.

[fdr]

WARNING: Open NCD before MASTER ARM to ARM

[Kiltrash]

Pilot demands they unload that old wreck fast, , He has a much more valuable cargo to get loaded...100 tones of fruit and veg from Asia for the British market....

[Kiltrash]

There that proves why the baddie was unable to fly his helicopter through the Channel Tunnel while chasing Ethan.

[Kiltrash]

In the planning office for HS2 this thread was mandatory reading ....just before the Government announced the cancellation of the project due to unspecified design issues...

[treadigraph]

After this fiasco, Hoskins, I doubt they'll let you load a Sinclair C5...

[Buster Hyman]

BRRRRRRTTT!
”Do you mind!”
”That wasn’t me. Must’ve been the photogr…. Where’d the photographer go?

[NutLoose]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1333/071006_f_3366a_103_9e690acdb28a0330843b6ebf43384cb13efea1c7_ e865b8bdafb69d63d2d66f345d6271c9ecc63dcd.jpg


Amazing, A state of the art warbird, A state of the art military transport and we have all ground to a halt because the two locally sourced plywood "interfaces" are 8 foot too short.

[Kiltrash]

The Rushkies were not expecting Wing Attack Plan R...
or
I'm just Winging it
Or
The Left Wing did not know what the Right Wing was doing...Poor CRM discriminator
or
The Wing Commander later signed the aircraft over to PO Hoskins.

[Kiltrash]

If you think this is bad, have a look round at the tailplane...

[fitliker]

Say Hello to my little friend brrrrrrrrt

[fitliker]

Brrrrrrrt , it must have been something I ate , brrrrrrrrrrrrrt

[fitliker]

The Galaxy crew wanted to offer an updated more magical version of the puff the magic dragon Herc .

[fitliker]

Some things a Gent should never witness . The birthing of one’s offspring or the birthing of an A-10

[treadigraph]

Very nice Mr Heath Robinson... er, what's it actually for?

I don't know but I'm sure you can find a use for it...

[Kiltrash]

Just like the current state of the RAF....you either have a aircraft or you can have ammo....but not both at the same time

[Kiltrash]

Hank goas to pick up his latest simulator from AMARG.. in his Ford ( Galaxy )

[Kiltrash]

At Andrews the Pilot is returned to the United States for burial after repatriation from a 'Stan...well it's how we would have wanted to go said the Vice President.

[Kiltrash]

Bruce has a cockpit delivered to Wayne Towers with a view to marrying it up with his Harley and make a combination sidecar to transport Dick...

[Wensleydale]

WANTED: Front Gunner for a new project. (No Gingers)

[treadigraph]

Well I don't know rhe timing of your round out Hoskins, but it sure as hell wasn't in the right place...

[treadigraph]

Yeah I know Red Bull flew an Edge 540 through a tunnel in Turkey, but that ain't an Edge, that ain't a tunnel and it's you that's the turkey...

[Kiltrash]

When Gatling Jr returned from high school she complained that that new exchange student Fortescue - Smythe always shot her down with his 8x303 brownings when they were playing dog fights in the yard, got Gatling snr thinking ...hmm..what can I do about that ..

[Wensleydale]

Formula One testing in Bahrain throws up a few surprises.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Is it just me, or does that A-10 look surprised?

[fdr]

The extra 2 engines did not give the desired improved performance, but did result in more cabin heat.

[Dan Gerous]

I told you trying to fly it in from the back wouldn't work.

[SLXOwft]

Very difficult judging, special mentions for two readings of my mind:
Nutty - Amazing, A state of the art warbird, A state of the art military transport and we have all ground to a halt because the two locally sourced plywood "interfaces" are 8 foot too short
Traffic_I_E_W - Is it just me, or does that A-10 look surprised?

But the winner by a narrow margin is fdr - WARNING: Open NCD before MASTER ARM to ARM

I am currently carefully wrapping the CST for dispatch as slung load on the next passing Chinook .

[SLXOwft]

I PM'ed fdr last night, if he hasn't responded by 1930Z I will declare open house for those with fewer than 10 wins.

[Buster Hyman]

I will declare open house for those with fewer than 10 wins.
Line one up Nutty!!! :}:ouch::E

[fdr]

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/828x552/p3_02_53d761778f8445ff88d76cb5dd3571be63a377dd.jpeg

Watchin' paint dry....

[fdr]

I PM'ed fdr last night, if he hasn't responded by 1930Z I will declare open house for those with fewer than 10 wins.

Oy, some of us were working' for king n' country....

[treadigraph]

Sorry, gotta get home! Mummy doesn't like us being out after dark...

[treadigraph]

If J M W Turner joined the RAN...

[Manchester]

I said Sunny Side Up, NOT Easy Over

[NutLoose]

I wish I was a Nimrod..

[NutLoose]

Now can you see the bloody submarine!!!

[NutLoose]

Err Captain, time to switch tanks?

[treadigraph]

P and S on your boots skipper... Paul Smith Shoes?

Nah mate, it's an aide-mémoir - port and starboard...

[NutLoose]

These Antipodean aircraft don't 'arf whine.

Nah, that'll be Buster down the back.

[NutLoose]

Break out the didgeridoo mate, the "Sun arise, she brings in the morning"..

[NutLoose]

One day mate, i going to fly over that Horizon and have a look, there must be thousands of those big orange glowing balls over it.

[NutLoose]

Don't worry mate, Canberra have launched to fighters to shoot that orange balloon down.

[Buster Hyman]

How did you know where you were?
Well, when I looked up at the stars, I could see Orion!

[Buster Hyman]

Wow. What a sunset! Looks just like a bucket of Sunshine!
Sunset? But it's Midday....

[cynicalint]

That Orange Crop sensor does make things look pretty!

[Wensleydale]

As the new female co-pilot said:
"Just popping down the back to have a siggy".

[cynicalint]

I think the nuclear depth charge has detonated prematurely!

[NutLoose]

Geez, it's like swimming through a bucket of Trumps fake tan.

[Kiltrash]

While hunting Russian subs the Pilot was surprised just how quick the Sun rose in these Latitudes...

[Kiltrash]

While doing a lovely Sunset spray paint on canvas print for the tourists from the cruise ship in Miami, the artist was pissed off when he used the wrong blank... where's the 'effin Moon he swore...

[Kiltrash]

The USN P3 crew watching for Russian Navel units in the Black sea were surprised how Putin upped the ante on the first anniversary...

[Chu Chu]

MAD meets MAD.

[Kiltrash]

After landing at Tinnian the Pilot asked the scientists to explain why, after assurances, it HAD affected his B-29 ..

[Kiltrash]

Right that's got rid of Croydon Luton once and for all

[Kiltrash]

Nutty sends this to his amateur photography group as a stunning example of Birds over Flamborough Head at Sunset..

[212man]

Shortly after departing RAF Machrihanish, Capt Smith discovered why his payload was referred to as “buckets of instant sunshine”!

[Buster Hyman]

It was a dangerous place to fly…especially the Left Bank.

[NutLoose]

That should sort out the Nav’s complaint that the Elsan he’s sitting on is full. :E

[NutLoose]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/828x552/image_3b4920078eb9f8c8ed8b739ec8f21da4b6d9c106.jpeg

[treadigraph]

the Left Bank.

Don't turn away, Renée...

[Kiltrash]

So which is better at ASW?? P3 or P8??... 8 Pilots, that's what I call overmanning.

[Dan Gerous]

OK Nav, one orbit of the sun then set us a course for home.

[NutLoose]

But think of the fuel savings with both port engines pulled back.

[Kiltrash]

Having Time Warped round the Sun, Captain Kirk suspected Mr Spock had got the decimal point in the wrong place ...welcome to 1978.....and the Chameleon Circuit ...

[Big Pistons Forever]

WOW !!! you actually shot a picture that made the P3 look heroic !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Bank angle exceedance Skipper !

Fu*ck You It's my last flight before I retire !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Well that's one way to flip the pancakes the Nav's cooking !

[Chu Chu]

That's the last time we let Hoskins draw up the search pattern.

[Chu Chu]

Or: Let me guess -- Hoskins confused "radius" and "diameter" again.

[Kiltrash]

NASA first attempt at landing on Mars did not go well....back to the drawing board was the descission

[Kiltrash]

The chase plane later reported that the bomb aimer had got hie red and green wires crossed up as they flew over Wales.. no real damage done then after all..

[Kiltrash]

Suns up over the yardarm,,,,somewhere,,, so the skip descided it was time for a cheeky G&T...

[cavuman1]

Herkimer Jerkimer

- Ed

[Confusious]

"That should do us for another 25 miles, roll the wings level. Bloody solar powered contraption!"

[Confusious]

"Captain, we're high and hot!"

[Ascend Charlie]

Hoskins, being scared of the dark, turned to follow the sun.

[fdr]

Time to RTB, while there is only 18 hours endurance remaining.

Mentions in the Post Flight Debrief/26FEB230035Z:



Flight Engineers:

"That should do us for another 25 miles, roll the wings level. Bloody solar powered contraption!"

Your howgozit just isn’t for catching breadcrumbs! PDCA!


Navigators:
Or: Let me guess -- Hoskins confused "radius" and "diameter" again.
Having Time Warped round the Sun, Captain Kirk suspected Mr Spock had got the decimal point in the wrong place ...welcome to 1978.....and the Chameleon Circuit ...
Hoskins, being scared of the dark, turned to follow the sun.

How is it we get most lost with 10 Navs on board?

On pilots:

"Captain, we're high and hot!"

No problem, we still have 18 hours endurance left…

On Galley and Heads:
Well that's one way to flip the pancakes the Nav's cooking !
That should sort out the Nav’s complaint that the Elsan he’s sitting on is full. :E

Cleanup on aisle 13...

On TACCO’s & SENSO’s:
It was a dangerous place to fly…especially the Left Bank.
The USN P3 crew watching for Russian Navel units in the Black sea were surprised how Putin upped the ante on the first anniversary...
MAD meets MAD.

misspent youth focused.


On ORD’s:
I think the nuclear depth charge has detonated prematurely!
Wow. What a sunset! Looks just like a bucket of Sunshine!
Sunset? But it's Midday....

Ords, best cooks ever.



Runner up….

One day mate, i going to fly over that Horizon and have a look, there must be thousands of those big orange glowing balls over it.

still searching....



Winner….


https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/828x552/image_3b4920078eb9f8c8ed8b739ec8f21da4b6d9c106_c243bb7c7a565 0951ba3d936756edeb6d4ffd708.jpeg


The star of the show always was ever thus, the star.


P.S.: Reminiscing how lifting used to be before the magenta line ....


https://youtu.be/pxZ3d7MNXSw

https://youtu.be/rcRhoY5azgM

[NutLoose]

Thanks :) commiserations to Buster :}

ok try this one.


https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/900x450/russiaclergy_jpeg_597e087f24b020b029b14289895a6d298401aae9.j pg

[Buster Hyman]

“What do you mean, it’s a repeat?”

[Buster Hyman]

Okay, they’re looking to see what won the last one & we’ll put that up under your name.

[Kiltrash]

Harry ( Potter ) 's wand had lost all its powers..

[Kiltrash]

Before heading to the front line the troops all get the Padres blessing...even the Atheist

[Kiltrash]

They have to find a use for the Eurovision trophy as Ukraine won but can't hold the next event

[Chu Chu]

Phew! That was a close brush.

[fitliker]

The Regimental shaving brush gets more use than the Regimental condom . It might be time to buy a new one

[MPN11]

“What a scruffy shower” said the RSM

[MPN11]

The Regiment’s ice bucket gets another outing.

[MPN11]

Beware of rust on your AK!

[Kiltrash]

The decorators in Kyiv are asked to bless the troops

[Kiltrash]

Proof even, if it was needed, that amputees are not to be denied access to weapons to defend the Motherland..

[Kiltrash]

Sorry, only Potato soup for everyone. Don't you know there's a War on,??

[Wensleydale]

The West has splashed out to buy weapons...

[MPN11]

“Splash One, switching to guns”

[SLXOwft]

Unholy water sprinkler - a type of mace used in the Russian army.

[MPN11]

"Oi ... you missed me!!"

[Big Pistons Forever]

He only splashes the guys that are gonna die,

But he splashed everybody !

Exactly....

[treadigraph]

You aren't as lovely as the nit nurse at school...

[Confusious]

"I don't think Vodka will help, but it's worth a shot."

[Chu Chu]

You'd never know from the priest's face that Hoskins had brought supplies of club soda instead of holy water.

[Kiltrash]

Brut...Spash it all over..

[Kiltrash]

Lads on the far end looking left eagerly await President Trump now they have been disinfected to protect them from mad cow disease...

[cynicalint]

This special brush extracts the sweat from your brow and deposits it into the holy silver urn.

[Dan Gerous]

Let us spray.


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[Hydromet]

A clean soldier is a happy soldier. Now, smile.

[fdr]

the alternative to body armour was received with some skepticism...

[Hydromet]

National Service brings many new skills into the military. The chaplain, for instance, was formerly a "fluffer" on a porn movie set.

[Ascend Charlie]

"I've run out of holy water, can somebody get out the fire hose?"

[Wensleydale]

Trials are finally underway to produce a uniform that is actually waterproof!

[jolihokistix]

Apologies for butting in, and to Al Jazeera, but what is Uncle Vlad whispering to Cyril Ramaphosa? Just had to grab this shot. Answers after the present round finishes!
https://www.aljazeera.com/features/2023/2/26/is-africa-still-neutral-a-year-into-the-ukraine-war

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/828x686/2e23b089_e481_49ae_88d9_1593821a745e_aa35fd451cc96e7d6fa4c98 af10619b0b58b93dc.jpeg

[skridlov]

Comments on this forum have descended to an all-time low.

[Buster Hyman]

Thank you for the blessing.
umm, actually, it’s your last rites. We find that it saves time later!

[Buster Hyman]

They think it interferes with HIMARS.

[Buster Hyman]

Welcome to the Sydney Mardi Gras gentlemen! I’m your host, Nutty…

[ShyTorque]

"Thanks for the thought, vicar - but I'd rather have a few rounds of ammunition!"

[Kiltrash]

No we don't have any rifles for left handed soldiers

[Kiltrash]

Ten Hag blessed the players with Carraboo out of the first Trophy in 6 years.

[Kiltrash]

Particularly tall soldier 4th from left front row. Shows just how fast the Miracle Quick Gro ...grows

[cynicalint]

(in Latin)...I throw p1ss on you, yet you do nothing...I throw p1ss on you, yet you do nothing...(In Russian)....Yeah Vicar! do it to me and me p1ssing back on you is the least of your worries!

[cavuman1]

Paint with a broad brush, thought the Patriarch, as he left out all the details.

- Ed

[fdr]

Vlad's newest Novichok delivery system was intended to save the unfortunates from the anxiety of Operation Certain Death

[Kiltrash]

Gosh, what a honour, Being sent to Moscow...at lease 2000 miles from the front line. Me mum will be happy..
Moskva, Ivan, Moskva....better go to Specsavers.

[Kiltrash]

Improperly dressed on Parade, ..this is what happens when you go out in the rain...NOW get your cap on you horrible BIG man..

[Wensleydale]

Vlad's newest Novichok delivery system was intended to save the unfortunates from the anxiety of Operation Certain Death

New vicar appointed at Salisbury Cathedral.

[treadigraph]

New vicar appointed at Salisbury Cathedral.
I was trying to think up something like that, you are clearly more - wait for it - inspired than me...

[Dan Gerous]

Fat guy, "I hope that's water lite. I'm supposed to be on a diet"!


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