Caption Competition Mk III

[Kiltrash]

We've had a rush order for Tofu, Falafel and Soya milk for Glastonbury...better break out the special paint job then...

[Kiltrash]

Well it's still better than " let the train take the strain " to Glastonbury
Ps I'm currently on a GWR from Paddington to Glastonbury. as we were meant to go in 2020 for our 40th wedding anniversary. ..

[Ripton]

Heavy Metal is pronounced dead as Iron Maiden set off on their latest world tour.

or

After running out of SU-25s, newly equipped Russian ground support missions are hoping to be out of range before the Ukrainian forces stop asking "what the £$*& was that"

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Remember, beauty is only skin deep.....except this time.

[Wensleydale]

Thirty degrees angle of Banksy?

[Dan Gerous]

I wanted to fly Bears for the glorious Russian Empire. Instead they gave me this and told me to grin and bear it!

[treadigraph]

I wanted to fly Bears for the glorious Russian Empire. Instead they gave me this and told me to grin and bear it!

Is your name Ivansky?

[Confusious]

Captain, is there really a requirement for me to do 40 walk arounds during my line training?

[Wensleydale]

Roll, Pitch, and Yawn.

[Self loading bear]

Why does it look so happy?

Because it is flown without bit and bridle.

[Chu Chu]

I’m glad someone’s finally done something about the tooth-to-tail ratio.

[fitliker]

If they painted the front like this , what does the rear end look like ? Asking for a friend .
Bigger lips ? Views from the birth canal ? Enquiring minds want to know :)

EFS

[Chu Chu]

Now that she has teeth, let's see her put a bone in them.

[fdr]

The visiting squadron planned to tag an aircraft, mistakenly the knuckleheads got the container it was packed in.

[SLXOwft]

The Brazil's 4th Army Aviation Battalion was in carnival mood when specifying the painting it's first C-23* to be delivered.

*Yes, I know it's a Skyvan.

[SLXOwft]

'Ja, ve find our nerfous customers prefer to jump rather be seen landing with this colour scheem'

[NutLoose]

Navigation is easy I always root canal and back

[Big Pistons Forever]

It’s the Irish climb performance package. Make it so ugly the earth will reject it

[Confusious]

Oooh, that feeling when you've just burst a big zit.

[NutLoose]

Speed tape? Bwaaa, we use Poligrip.

[SASless]

Trump's new design of the exterior of AF One was certainly an attention grabber!

[Hydromet]

I told you the brown paper bag was over the front for a reason!

[Buster Hyman]

Why is it grimacing?
The Captain yelled Brace, Brace, Brace!

[treadigraph]

Quick load the deportees while they're distracted by the paint scheme...

[Confusious]

When the Point Of No Ruturn is equal to Vr.

[Dan Gerous]

Well my mum did warn me about pulling faces and the wind changing.

[SLXOwft]

'I trust this one's under MTOW?'

'That's why it's smiling.'

(Bad taste I admit, but there were no fatalities in OE-FDF)

[cynicalint]

Many comments made me grin, but runner-up is:-

Nutty
Urrrghhhhhhhhhh ahhhh apuurrggghhhh, I’m just about to pass a loadmaster

but with a wonderful pun, the winner is:-
622
"Is that plane mocking us?"
"No, I think the pilot has nose wheel sneering selected!

[Confusious]

Many comments made me grin, but runner-up is:-

Nutty
Urrrghhhhhhhhhh ahhhh apuurrggghhhh, I’m just about to pass a loadmaster

but with a wonderful pun, the winner is:-
622
"Is that plane mocking us?"
"No, I think the pilot has nose wheel sneering selected!
Well done Nutty and 622!

[NutLoose]

Thank you :)

[Dan Gerous]

Nice one 622. I'm guessing quite a few of us had a good chuckle at that one.:)

[622]

Thanks all,

..If you can't be clever be funny....that's my motto!

Anyway, lets move on to this:
https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/580x374/person_e051cb2ee736c72b7faee0a56c4409ea8308df85.jpg

[treadigraph]

What are we doing here?

No idea, apparently it's something to do with the Sandys' Review...

[Confusious]

I'm Brian. I'm Brian too and so is he down there.

[treadigraph]

Right, that's the JRSLA sorted out, now, messing facilities... is there a Wetherspoons nearby?

[Hydromet]

You're fired!

[Ascend Charlie]

In keeping with the Japanese Shoebox hotels, the new sleeping quarters even catered for the Pointy-Heads.

[Chu Chu]

WTF, Hoskins?

Isn’t this what you wanted, Admiral? I was specifically ordered to put dummies in the empty tubes before you came aboard.

[Big Pistons Forever]

I knew Putin's signing bonus was too good to be true !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Russian Navy sailors take fragging to a whole new level.

[Big Pistons Forever]

I thought MLRS stood for Multiple Launch Rocket System not Military Losers Reassignment System !

[Big Pistons Forever]

You know ship board bunk space is tight when......

[Big Pistons Forever]

Trust me you don't want to get an "unsatisfactory" on your Russian Naval Fitrep....

[Wensleydale]

Rocket Apes?

[Kiltrash]

After 10 pints of lager the additional thrust when lit achieved M3 +

[Kiltrash]

Bae Systems manager....Oh for £100m you want mmissiles with that..? ?

[Kiltrash]

Moskva Captain relies on point defence. ..so men all Point at the incomming. .

[Woodsy2417]

And the good news is- you have all been reclassified as Aviators.

[treadigraph]

Sid... why do they give us baked beans for every meal?

[ShyTorque]

Isn’t this going to be dangerous? Why can’t we have helmets?

Because you’re dum-dum bullets, not armour piercing.

[MPN11]

The CO finally found a way to get rid of Hoskins and his drinking mates.

[Dan Gerous]

Get rid off all your useless employees with this fantastic Tube Launcher.

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/580x374/person_e051cb2ee736c72b7faee0a56c4409ea8308df85.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

I'm not sold on the Optically Guided version.

[Dan Gerous]

Reaction time is dictated by the strength of last nights curry.

[Confusious]

They thought we said "projectile dysfunction".

[Kiltrash]

I ( wish) I could get a great view of Glastonbury

[Kiltrash]

Shouts...That's not the missile your putting the fuse into...

[Kiltrash]

Due to perceived Animal Cruelty all Circuses are closed down. New opertunity found for the Human Canonball

[Kiltrash]

Due to the Arms Reduction Treaty additional Rack space becomes available

[Wensleydale]

Due to perceived Animal Cruelty all Circuses are closed down. New opertunity found for the Human Canonball

Our local circus has advertised for a man of the right calibre ...........

[Chu Chu]

I think maybe we're taking Jacky Fisher a little too literally.

[treadigraph]

'Old on, I fort YouTube was an online Video launcher!

[Chu Chu]

Okay, I saw the Jennifer Lawrence movie, and I get the sparrow part, but tell me again how this is supposed to work?

[treadigraph]

They are eat seeking missiles. Launch 'em and they find the nearest restaurant for a take out....

[SLXOwft]

The Sergeant York II air defense system had an obvious flaw.

[Wensleydale]

A Crews' Missile?

[Wensleydale]

OK - Which one of you is called Sam?

[Chu Chu]

And the best part is we never run out of chaff.

[Kiltrash]

The new CO of HMS Glasgow likes to keep her extramarital affair secret from each other

[Kiltrash]

Captain Salt wished he had this as a option down in the Falklands

[Kiltrash]

As the radar went Us the Captain wanted someone in the highest part of the ship. He bemoaned the MOD decision to do away with the Crows Nest

[treadigraph]

Where are the crew?

Oh, they are out to launch...

[cynicalint]

The propulsion experts wanted a close, real-time view of the launch sequence rocket efflux.

[Kiltrash]

The Satellite technical operators wish NASA were not penny pinching on getting the repair team to the James Webb Telescope

[Wensleydale]

Why the name was changed to Aviator.....

[Chu Chu]

Hoskins, when I told you to mount heads on the missiles . . .

[Self loading bear]

Since the Navy is more open to LHBGT,
they come out of the closet at rocket pace.

[SASless]

No chance of a premature anything.....they are all Duds!

[cynicalint]

At least they haven't locked us in like Hoskins and Buggins!

[cynicalint]

Russian roulette, with a twist!

[Buster Hyman]

For the last time, none of you are F104’s. Now get down and go see the Doc!

[Buster Hyman]

I said to load the Heat Seekers, not Hide n seek!

[treadigraph]

These are Skid missiles. When we fire 'em, they :mad: themselves...

[Kiltrash]

The men were VERY surprised the Officer followed through with the claim he was gonna lead from the front..as he curved out towards the horizon

[Buster Hyman]

These are Skid missiles. When we fire 'em, they :mad: themselves...
Or, as the Kiwi's call them, Skud Muscles.

[Kiltrash]

Don't worry their only Dummies

[Kiltrash]

In Parkhurst a fresh idea is trialed to reduce overcrowding in Prisons...well it's convenient there are so many decommissioned warships nearby.

[Kiltrash]

The Prime Minister was surprised at what he got for £150K for his sons playhouse to entertain his school chums.

[Buster Hyman]

Why the worried looks? Have you guys never used You Tube before?

[Confusious]

Weapons of ass destruction.

[treadigraph]

[Peter O'Sullivan voice] ...and they are under starter's orders...

[Wensleydale]

Why the new RAF uniform looks like a shell suit..

[SLXOwft]

'No, Hoskins an AI enhanced air defence system doesn't mean Artificer Integrated.'

[fdr]

The new, "High-Tech's" system played havoc with the post-strike body counts.

[Wensleydale]

"I hope that you've all remembered to wear your hi-vis vests"!

[Kiltrash]

Dick Dastardly decided to let the pigeon have all 4 barrels on his Focker

[Kiltrash]

Captain Wreford-Brown orders all 4 tubes to be loaded, with the Belgrano in his sights he was not taking any chances.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/580x374/image_74d519accc1b1f5f8669f256f8fa04743c3614aa.jpeg

[NutLoose]

Ok that’s the Nlaws loaded, two missiles and four Father Nlaws, we’ve left the covers on the two Mother Nlaws as we didn’t want to frighten the Children.

[NutLoose]

Ok, once we’ve fired the Sam’s get ready to load the Pete’s, and then the Cyril’s.

[NutLoose]

Ahhhh Modernisation, when I was a lad it used to be a barrel don’t you know.

[NutLoose]

I don’t remember Celebrity Squares being anything like this..

[Kiltrash]

'ere Bert it says ' Kilroy was 'ere...
Well mine says welcome to 617,
Mine says For the sake of God don't go to Croydon..

[Kiltrash]

The PPRuNe Usual suspects meet up for the anniversary dinner...
But why missle launchers? ?
The Telephone Booth already had the Lib Dem MP's in it

[Kiltrash]

The Captain graciously allowed any crew members suffering from Claustrophobia to get the ones without the doors...and they STILL complain about the spray over the bow..

[SLXOwft]

'Don't worry, CAS, after we've fired the Gammon the next salvo will be diverse and inclusive.'

[treadigraph]

Michael O'Leary comes with another cheap travel concept, borrowing heavily on 1960s drone technology. The Ryanair FireFly...

[NutLoose]

Sorry chaps the helicopters went in the last round of cuts, but never fear, the other ship has rigged a net, so cross decking should be easy.

[622]

Slowing down now......so last orders and will call tomorrow!

[Kiltrash]

Sorry, I thought it was Special delivery,, not Delivery off the Special...

[Kiltrash]

I'd like to see Nadal/ Murray / Djorkovich return this...143mph my ar$e

[Kiltrash]

...and finally from me...
What's the last thing to go through your mind when you impact the enemy ship??..my Ar$e

[Big Pistons Forever]

The crew finally had enough with antics of the embarked Sea Trainer contingent

[Big Pistons Forever]

OK, you can report we are now fully mission capable.

[NutLoose]

When they said upon posting that we would be pigeon holed prior to being sent ashore, this never crossed my mind.

[NutLoose]

Sorry chaps, standard procedure, we need to pull through the chamber to remove all nasty deposits left from the last round prior to reloading, it won't take long and the survivors when located have said the experience was mind blowing.

[NutLoose]

Keel hauling? that's so last century..

[treadigraph]

Our unit song is "Little Boxes" by Pete Seeging-Missile...

(:O sorry!)

[SLXOwft]

'Mike Company, they said. Ships Force Protection they said. This isn't quite what I expected, never mind, per mare, per terram, per aerem cruentum!'

[622]

Time to let the chaps out...or set them off!

Good entries as always, but the one that made me chuckle for its clever simplicity was:

OK - Which one of you is called Sam?

Well done.....Trophy will be delivered by 'Sam' later when he is in range.

[Wensleydale]

Off we go again.

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1211x954/289891561_2441920032617023_6747002302301012800_n_c30290ff289 c4a522c1babea858a2e19dd5f6fc4.jpg

[treadigraph]

It's a man's wife in The Navy!

[treadigraph]

Ladies... oh ladeeeez! Perhaps if you, er, remove your costumes, we might be able to get the gun to elevate...

[NutLoose]

Load the bazokas... Sorry, I meant bofors.

[NutLoose]

Don't fire until you can see the whites of their thighs.

[treadigraph]

They were disappointed to find out that Ivor Biggun did in fact just operate a 40mm Bofors. Still, it was a nice day for a sail...

[treadigraph]

No, I said we are going to Bikini Atoll, not do you wear a bikini at all. Get back into your uniforms.

[treadigraph]

He's obviously a rotten shot. I asked if he'd ever hit anything and he said "about 20 Zeros..."

[NutLoose]

As you can see, it's always wise to cover the end of your weapon with protection when in the company of floosies.

[NutLoose]

I'm telling you, that girl sitting on the rail is as close to your helmet as she will ever get.

[NutLoose]

I think i'm coming down with a bad case on indigestion, I need to take a Wrennie or two

[NutLoose]

The girls were rightly put out when told that they were to form the ships cheerleaders and to assemble on deck to get their pom poms

[treadigraph]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1211x954/289891561_2441920032617023_6747002302301012800_n_c30290ff289 c4a522c1babea858a2e19dd5f6fc4.jpg

[Confusious]

Bombshells at the ready.

[MPN11]

I've always been a fan of twin 40s.

[Confusious]

It's OK Miss, we're all firing blanks.

[Dan Gerous]

It's no good guys, they're only interested in Commander Air's big chopper.

[Dan Gerous]

"Oh we've plenty of sun tan lotion and we'll be right down to help you apply it girls".
"Psst, Dave, get the gun oil out the tool kit".

[Hydromet]

The girls thought they were auditioning to have a life preserver named after them, unaware that Mae West already had the gig.

[NutLoose]

I'll make this brief.

[NutLoose]

Good God, that's were the mess curtains went.

[Chu Chu]

I know, Ylva, I know. When they offered us a cruise on a ship full of young men dying to get their hands on something hot from Sweden, how were we supposed to know they meant their own Bofors guns?

[622]

Hang on Girls...these aren't the pilots...... lets go and try another spot

[Ascend Charlie]

"Why do we have to wait till it's night for the mission to start?"
"No, silly, the gunner said he was having nocturnal emissions."

[622]

No ladies....when we said get your flash gear on....

[622]

Chief, its no good....I need to see the medic.

After 6 months at sea, even Hoskins and the rest of the stokers coming up for some fresh air are looking good!

[treadigraph]

I feel peckish - let's order a takeout via that new app - wotsitcalled... Oh, yes UBoat!

Oooh, good idea, I could just fancy a torpedo!

[Kiltrash]

Held back under the 40 year rule pictured are 2 Para on ss Canberra heading to the Falklands...
Yes but why the girls?? If its a troop of Macho Macho Men..
Well it was requisition as a Hospital ship..

[NutLoose]

I'd say she's a 36 calibre all day long.

[NutLoose]

I'd slice 'er mainbrace.

[NutLoose]

I've never seen so many of the men volunteer to swab the decks before.

[treadigraph]

Is he a gunner? Oh yes, but at night he thinks he's a stoker...

[NutLoose]

If they're the survivors from that sub we got, i'm applying for the silent service.

[ShyTorque]

“Oops I’ve just had a negligent discharge….”

[NutLoose]

That's NOT what Cock, hook and look means, that's voyerism at its most extreme..

[Buster Hyman]

Ladies! Welcome to the first AA meeting this year...but I think you'll find it's not what you think

[Buster Hyman]

On Virgin Cruises inaugural sailing, it was discovered that there was, in fact, only 3...

[Buster Hyman]

Ammo?
Check!
Mae Wests?
Ample.
Lubricant?
.....tee-hee!

[NutLoose]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1211x954/289891561_2441920032617023_6747002302301012800_n_c30290ff289 c4a522c1babea858a2e19dd5f6fc4_5c8b183d22428bf013119c982b2569 590d576c83.jpg

If Carlsberg supplied the Danish Navy, it would be the best Navy in the World

[NutLoose]

Yes Skipper, I can definately see our "navel" assets.

[NutLoose]

"The Skipper told me to let you know we are just about to pull up alongside"..
"Great!, I can't wait to get stuck in"

[treadigraph]

Mavis, are you quite sure this is the Isle of Wight Ferry?

[622]

What time is it?

"Eight belles"

[treadigraph]

I was hoping for some real men aboard, but from what I've seen of those three, the motto of the French Navy would seem to apply...

The motto of the French Navy? What is it?

A l'eau, c'est l'heure...

[NutLoose]

"We need music"
" don't worry, the guys said they would turn on their boom boxes"

[Buster Hyman]

"Well...this sure beats Roger the Cabin Boy!"

[SLXOwft]

'Who invited yanks to our STAAG party?

[SLXOwft]

'Where's the one who left her top to dry on the barrels?

[Kiltrash]

Meanwhile on Croydon lakes the rowing boat owner did say he took our safety very seriously

[NutLoose]

Iv'e got my sights on the girl on the rail.

[Kiltrash]

The MAIB later reported that the accident happened when the ship struck the Fasnet, Rocks, contributing factor was the Captain and Helmsman were ' distracted '. ..when there was a exercise to " Sink the red tomato "

[NutLoose]

They say they've heard bad things about our ship, so have changed into their swimming kit, I thought the Moskva was the pride of our fleet Sir?

[Kiltrash]

...and so Busby Berkley musicals were conceived

[Kiltrash]

Now if only someone would invent UTube

[NutLoose]

If they flash another Moby Dick at us, I'll launch a Harpoon in their direction.

[Kiltrash]

USS Indianapolis heads back from Tinian with some unexpected cargo...after all what could possibly go wrong

[SASless]

The Bosun was proud his gun crew had the shiniest breech block in the Fleet.....the gun crew spent long days under the hot Sun making it so.

[NutLoose]

You’re starting to burn Daisy, if you want i'll rub some crabfat over you, I'll call one of the RAF chaps on board over to help.




​​​​​​..

[Kiltrash]

The Queen was aghast to later discover what really went on in HMY Britannina when the family were not on board

[Kiltrash]

The Bosun was concerned to find some short curly blond hairs on the barrel.

[Kiltrash]

Action Stations?? These are our Action Stations.

[Kiltrash]

Later the Captain was summoned to see Admiral Numitz to explain why his ship has Washing, female, undergarments for the use off hanging from his radio Ariel. ..
Explained well sir you did send me to sea with 60% off the crew being Transexuals ..

[treadigraph]

I told him so I did, I said "we don't like it up 'em..."

You speak for yourself, Maisie Earnshaw, I like it up mine!

[SASless]

Sharkey Bait!

[Confusious]

Communication has broken down somewhere as the Captain ordered 8 escort vessels. The crew are also happy with the fresh baps that the galley ordered.

[NutLoose]

The girl lay in the burning deck, her bits were all a quiver,
The boys stood on that burning deck, dreaming of what they’d give her.

[NutLoose]

“They said if we lie here we’d see some semen”
”Don’t you mean seaman?”
”No, it was definitely semen”

[NutLoose]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1211x954/image_a77f1d368d07e1fa9dd08036c586b3ee2231a047.jpeg

[Ascend Charlie]

"Those Kiwi sailors said they would bring some D!ck Chairs, I wish they would hurry up!!"

[Buster Hyman]

As long as Lt. Holden doesn't make us paint the Sea Tiger pink, then I don't mind...don't mind at all.

[Kiltrash]

Captain...Has anyone seen my 6 cup Thermos flask? You know the one with the side handle for added grip??
XO. ..No sorry but I believe " Hot Lips " wanted to borrow it, somthing about its the right shape that the girls want to experiment with.
next day
XO... Captain Sonar reported Overnight the ship was making loud sqeeking and moaning sounds....better get engineering to check for any loose ball bearings..

[622]

Mildred, get off the handrail - Im sure he said he wanted us all to sit on his Deck!

[treadigraph]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1211x954/image_a77f1d368d07e1fa9dd08036c586b3ee2231a047.jpeg

[treadigraph]

Great news girls... Captain Hawkeye Pierce has missed the boat!

We'll have to play with Radar instead....

[Kiltrash]

More great news girls, we're about to pull into Brisbane and I hear there's a Captain Buster on the quayside to welcome you...

[Kiltrash]

Well I hear Victoria has a secret...
Yes I got a modeling job for after the wars over.

[Kiltrash]

Mildred its your turn on the handrail, remember if Jerry gets us in his Periscope he'll be too busy with his mutinous crew to fire his load at us.

[NutLoose]

I wanted racks, as in racks to put the ammunition in, not bloody WRAC's, what the hell am i supposed to do with thes........ Oh hang on, belay that complaint..

[NutLoose]

Is it friday? I can smell fish cooking.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

I'm confused Doris, they said head on down to the twin mounting, but there's three of them.

[Kiltrash]

Right I'm off to what is belive is called ' The Head ' i've no ides what it is but I hope the ' master will be kind to me .

[Kiltrash]

OK now I'm delving into the 'dark side'..
Doris finds relief over the railing when the crew strap a 6in shell as a sign of good luck and safe passage from the Japs.

[Kiltrash]

For this passage the Captain ordered ex small chastity belts to ensure the crew kept their minds on the the job in hand..

[Kiltrash]

...and finally after a very late lunch involving Tennents Special Brew ...
The Babestation ladies get in some R n R before the Captains retirement party.
I hope the cake has been delivered by chopper..
( Cr Under Seige )

[Confusious]

Anyone know if there's an antidote to Bromide?

[Kiltrash]

Sorry all I'm on a roll..
SS Happy Wanderer gets Sid and Hattie totally confused to explain why there was a AntI Aircraft Weapon on show....

[NutLoose]

Are you sure this is the barbecue?

[treadigraph]

Roger told me he is a human cannonball but I can't see how they'll get him down those barrels...

Daphne dear, Roger is a human cannibal... he likes to eat... you know...

[NutLoose]

I’m telling you, I stuffed the beers in here yesterday, just before that raid.

[Dan Gerous]

As the ship moored of Bikini Atoll, Mildred commented that skimpier swim suits would be a great idea to get a better tan from the instant sunshine.

[MPN11]

Fred Olsen Cruises … the formative years.

[MPN11]

Able Seaman Frazer muttered to himself … “A fine strong pair of thighs … aah”

[fdr]

"and here is our Pom-Pom crew conducting training..."

[NutLoose]

I don't understand, I tried to be tactful, but when I told the doc a few of us needed our cough, cough...breeches swabbing out, he sent us up here.

[treadigraph]

Bridge to Scotty, your place is in the engine room man, not fiddling with the guns...

Ah pish, ye Sassenach b'stard, ah tell ye, the redhead, she CAN take it and all night too...

[Chu Chu]

“You’re doing it all wrong.”

— Kim Jung-Un

[NutLoose]

On a blanket on the deck, and the Army would call straw luxury, we should have joined the Airforce, at least we'd be doing it in a nice hotel room.



..

[NutLoose]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1211x954/image_a77f1d368d07e1fa9dd08036c586b3ee2231a047_jpeg_ff8bc106 3088ef630dfe9346b3f09297e13a4454.jpg

Prepare to repel boarders girls..

[NutLoose]

So he told me he fancied a good shag, how was I to know, he didn't appreciate the rolling tobbaco I got him from the Naafi Shop. He then asked me for a ham shank, but the cook I asked told me he couldn't give me one of those as they were rationed.
Men, I'll never understand them, anyway girls, do you know where I can get a muff, he says he wants to get his hands on mine, but I haven't got one and the Naafi store tells me they will have to order one in.'

[Buster Hyman]

To be honest, I'm not really sure about the other rotational crew!
Don't ask, don't tell Hoskins!

[Kiltrash]

Bet that Nutty has a few good pics to share of his latest Shag....(from Bempton)

[Kiltrash]

Weps came up with a real weeze to ensure the crew reported for gun practice

[Kiltrash]

Might need your ear plugs ladies, I'm about to fire off some blanks

[Kiltrash]

Well if the guns don't put them off, the girls will when the Kamikaze show up

[Buster Hyman]

I think we've got plenty of Mae Wests now.

[NutLoose]

I just don't get these sailors, so I asked him if he fancied a date tonight and he said no, he can't, as he was first in the queue for the barrel?, whatever that is.

[NutLoose]

Once you get these suction pumps running I will get the first girl to position herself on the other end.

[fdr]

The eunuch test was successfully concluded.

[MPN11]

In military vernacular, it's known as a cluster-f**k

[NutLoose]

I was in a totally spin, I tell you girls, having a shag in a hammock is not for the faint hearted.

[NutLoose]

Sodding Ikea and their instructions, it looks firke all like a double patio heater.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1211x954/image_a77f1d368d07e1fa9dd08036c586b3ee2231a047_jpeg_ff8bc106 3088ef630dfe9346b3f09297e13a4454_1720b1eb5f5fefe793984d8479c 4fe4ecd386acd.jpg

[SLXOwft]

'... and in those unenlightened times this photo was sufficient evidence for dishonorable discharge; the guncrew recently received a presidential apology and compensation.'

[treadigraph]

The ladies' afternoon bull sessions were usually deeply philosophical, discussing as they did the works of Marx, Descartes, Nietzsche, Hume, Socrates, Plato and Woman's Weekly...

[Kiltrash]

Mavis was mortified to discover that none of her so called best friends had bothered to tell her that
(a) VPL was clearly showing..
or
(b) That there was a black gun grease hand print (s) on her starched white derriere..

[NutLoose]

Despite inserting a penny in the binoculars the men were still unable to view Blackpool Tower

[SASless]

When asked, Gladys noted she had traveled to Hawaii by Rail.

Not a caption....My Mom's Brother stated exactly that when I asked him which Troop Ship he rode going to the UK during WWII..

He escaped and evaded for 13 days during the Battle of the Bulge after his Tank Destroyer unit got over run....and fetched up in Bastogne.

[Hydromet]

I was in a totally spin, I tell you girls, having a shag in a hammock is not for the faint hearted.
...let alone standing up. I tell you, these PTI's are extremely well co-ordinated.

[Kiltrash]

Well I never expected the Naval authority to allow Aerobics at Woolloomooloo...

[Wensleydale]

Judging Tonight (a statement, not a caption).

[treadigraph]

So Mable, I hear you're going to take up a missionary position when we get to Manilla...

Yes, I saw it advertised by a priest but I don't know what the job entails...

[Kiltrash]

Stay there Doris the Captain needs a safe secure parking slot for his bike
or
The Captain is practicing his putting from 5 feet, and he doesn't want to loose his balls if it gets a bit choppy. . Ps Captain later complained the grass round the hole was a bit long and tangly

[Chu Chu]

Why can't I lie on the blankets like everyone else?

Someone has to watch for that mean man with the maps. He said he was going to come up on deck and shoot some heavenly bodies.

[Chu Chu]

At first, the company was furious over the remaining gun tub -- no one wanted to be reminded of the liner's days as a troop ship.

But it was worth its weight in gold on fancy dress days.

[cavuman1]

A little ack ack to get you back back in the sack sack!

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

OK and last from me having spent a wonderfull family after noon in a micro brewery in Walthamstow...

The crew prepare the ' foam cannon ' to liven up the evening wet T Shirt contest..

[Confusious]

The Captain has ordered that as a precaution all weaponry is to be covered with suitable material until further notice.

[MPN11]

In the ether, the sprite of Lloyd George was heard singing … “I am saaaving, I am saaaving, fallen women …”

[treadigraph]

Goodness me, Letitia, your baked bean and brussels sprout diet may be doing you good but it's a nightmare for the rest of us!

[Dan Gerous]

I think we're in here guys, just as long as they don't realise we're the cooks.