Caption Competition Mk III

[Wensleydale]

Santa gets his claws out.

[SLXOwft]

Yes, they're on the n-n-n-n-n-aughty list!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Members of the North Pole Rifles felt that their BDU's were not that practical during deployment.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Naughty? Nice? Who gives a sh*t!

[Kiltrash]

Hoskins was playing Santa to the base children....just as the Talibanies attacked.

[Kiltrash]

Wrong Camo for the North Pole exercise..

[Kiltrash]

What really happened when the Jerries came out their trenches to play the Christmas Day Truce football game...and won penalties..

[Kiltrash]

Seal Team 6 use the hide in plain sight method to get close to Osama...None of this very expensive Stealth Black Hawk crap... That does not exist.

[Kiltrash]

Harry and Meghan's Christmas Card...he sends to the rest of the Royal Family...

[Kiltrash]

Kiltrash does not need the single shot snipers rifle....when he can use the Scattergun method.

[cavuman1]

"You better watch out, better not cry / You better not pout, I'm telling you why / Santa Claus is coming to town!"

- Ed

[cavuman1]

"You better watch out, better not cry / You better not pout, I'm telling you why / Santa Claus is coming to town!"

- Ed

[fdr]

Thanks Chu Chu,
Here we go all.
Enjoy.
https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/738x550/ac249f9868172e71e3b86ba3f268f43d_ce53085072b94b61354ab5415be c53b8c45ad4df.jpg


at which point, the elves banded together to give Santa anger management lessons...

[sealo0]

Oh Santa what did you get for Xmas, something quite, I hope. Ahh may be not!

[sealo0]

Hey can someone get me so more ammo I’m running out

[sealo0]

Cauvman 1

so good you said it twice

[Wensleydale]

NORAD claims a Blue on Blue...

[cynicalint]

When i asked for Mrs Clause in her webbing, this is not what I expected!

[SLXOwft]

A guardsman was reported to have 'responded aggressively' when ordered to model one of the suggested replacements for 'real bearskin' bearskin caps.

[MPN11]

Mrs Claus wanted Venison? She shall have loads of Venison! Sorry, Rudolph.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Putin's promised "Christmas cease fire" was just as true as all his other promises

[Big Pistons Forever]

Ukrainian soldier tells wife

"Sorry honey, I am going to be late for the children's Christmas party, I need to take out the trash first"

[Big Pistons Forever]

Whut yoo look'ng at boy !

Ahhhm just exxxeriszing mah second amendment rights !

[Chu Chu]

Invisible elves reassembled the belt as the links were ejected.

[treadigraph]

Having been sacked by the board of Christmas Enterprises Plc for inappropriate behaviour on a global scale, Santa seeks revenge....

[Ascend Charlie]

Dasher, Dancer, Tracer, Vixen, Tracer, Cupid, Tracer and Blitzen. Now back to Strictly Dancing...

[Chu Chu]

A jolly old man slipping down my chimney was scary enough when he wasn’t packing an M60.

[Kiltrash]

Later the Met pounced on the Jolly man in the red suit in the Croydon Shopping Centre.... In court Mr J Saville claimed the children bouncing on his knee were all consenting...

[Kiltrash]

" I'm a Celebrity get me out of here" was the cry when the latest challenge to get stars for the camp realised the critters we're fighting back..

[Kiltrash]

At the Christmas Fair in St Alban's the operator in the " shoot the duck " stall realised the small print allowed the fair goers to bring their own pop gun..

[Kiltrash]

Officer John McLane descides the terrorists won't takeover the Airport...not on his watch

[Kiltrash]

In a new Christmas Day episode of Fools and Horses, the writers descide that Del will clean up the mean streets of Peckham....once and for all.

[Kiltrash]

Before melting into the Christmas Day throng of Park Run Santa's, Ronaldo descides to prove once and for all he is the greatest living football GOAT...

[Kiltrash]

Having rushed to his post to defend the base, Pfc Hoskins grabbed the first coat he could find....later realised he had forgotten any trousers....oh how the other troopers laughed when they saw all he had on were stockings and suspenders....well it is lonely out here for 6 months at a time he blushed...

[Chu Chu]

It wouldn't be Christmas without a little chamber music.

[Ascend Charlie]

"You'd like a new coat for Xmas? Well, here's a copper jacket, you steaming little pile of ....."

[fitliker]

Milk and Cookies break to let it cool or change the barrel again , and keep plinking the naughtiest ones first

[Kiltrash]

On the picket line for more sociable hours the Santa union get a bit militant...

[Kiltrash]

After Covid lockdown the Religious Zealots come out the wood work and start knocking on front doors again...Santa reacts with " Get off .. this is my time of the year..."

[Kiltrash]

Wilbur, I think giving little Billy Bob a M60 Machine Gun for a Christmas Present was a little premature...he's only 6...
Honey, well he handled last years AR15 well so he's due a upgrade...

[Wensleydale]

Delivering presents to Manchester, Santa decides that its safer to take the other M60 route.

[Wensleydale]

Santa personally delivers presents from the commuters to the ASLEF Christmas Party.

[OMAAbound]

After delivering presents to Children in Ukraine, Santa quickly realised that leaving would be harder than initially expected.

OMAA

[Buster Hyman]

Santa practices for the USA leg of Christmas Eve.

[Chu Chu]

Intelligence picks up early signals that the war might not be over by Christmas.

[Buster Hyman]

“Oh…..he wanted something like 50 Calories….****!”

[622]

Sir, I really must complain about what Hoskins is wearing!
Sorry Sergeant, its a local agreement to his conditions for serving we are bound by..
.....Its a Santa Claus..

[Dan Gerous]

Great game of football chaps, but if it goes to penalty's I'm taking no chances.


https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/738x550/ac249f9868172e71e3b86ba3f268f43d_ce53085072b94b61354ab5415be c53b8c45ad4df.jpg

[MPN11]

The latest release of documents on the JFK assassination failed to reveal the ‘smoking gun’.

[treadigraph]

Slade... Wizzard... Lennon... Band Aid... Bing Crosby... Jackson 5... Paul McCartney... and now for bloody Cliff bloody Richard! Merry feckin' Christmas! Rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-taaaat!

[NutLoose]

‘Twas the night before Christmas when all through our house
any bastards that stirred were soon as dead as the mouse.
The claymores were hung on the perimeter with care,
in hopes that the bastards soon would be out there;
when out on the lawn the night did it shatter,
as NLaws turned people from men into matter,
With the line now being breached, a decision was reached
They sprung to their sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle
I heard them exclaim, as they drove out of sight-
Happy Christmas to all, and to all, war is just sh*te.



​​​​​​…

[NutLoose]

It’s the season of giving, so take these you motherfirkers..

[NutLoose]

NEW:
Santa Wars the new American docuseries on the lucrative Christmas trade and those seeking to dominate it, coming to Discovery Channel this winter

[Wensleydale]

Santa and his Slay?

[Kiltrash]

Santa takes no chances when delivering to a house with a sign ' Beware dogs of war running free '

[Kiltrash]

Boy do I get a hard on when fireing this... That's my present to myself this year..

[Kiltrash]

Santa descided to get in first remembering the engine failure on take off the FAA Inspector tested him with on his annual check ride last year

[Hydromet]

Kiltrash fires up his Capcom generator.

[Wensleydale]

Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzkrieg!

[Big Pistons Forever]

Nutty must have been REALLY naughty ! :p

[Kiltrash]

Wilber...Wilber...WILBUR...come in your breakfasts on the table...
AW shucks mom, must I? After what you serve this is much more fun...

[Kiltrash]

Neighbour over the fence...
Darling, think you need to give Wilbur a hand, think the timings way out in his V8... again...

[Kiltrash]

...and is it any wonder the postie doesn't want to deliver seasons greetings and goodwill to all men...in Kansas

[Kiltrash]

In the Cotswolds, Harry stakes out Clarksons farm at Meghan's request to give the country the Christmas Present he deserves...

[Buster Hyman]

Santa was ready early for the Boxing Day sales!

[Kiltrash]

Now the Striking Post persons are getting serious on the picket lines...
Darling that's not a Postie that's Santa...
Oh ****...my eye exam was cancelled due to a strike by Opticians...

[Kiltrash]

Take that Nutty, Take that Buster, Take that Treadigaph...I'm determined to win before I have to go and deliver the presents this year 😄

[langleybaston]

Santa descided to get in first remembering the engine failure on take off the FAA Inspector tested him with on his annual check ride last year

Shot gun under the seat, as I recall? But surely he could trim it out, with 7 engines firing? Or was it the short-haul 4 rheindeer outfit?

Its the only clean Christmas joke I know

[Chu Chu]

Many were concerned about Christmas becoming an engine of commerciality and greed. In fact Santa himself, after of years of delivering gifts to two-car households, felt that he needed to slay.

[Buster Hyman]

Santa defends a Whitegoods store in Kherson from Russian troops

[Kiltrash]

The Ukrainian President asked the US President for some Patriots....Don't think this is quite what he wanted...Biden is a bit deaf..

[Confusious]

This one's probably all out of ammo now, so results are in folks:

Third place goes to Big Pistons Forever for a well deserved Christmas message to Mr. Putin.
Ukrainian soldier tells wife

"Sorry honey, I am going to be late for the children's Christmas party, I need to take out the trash first"

Second place to Wensleydale for a very witty pun.
Delivering presents to Manchester, Santa decides that its safer to take the other M60 route.

And our winner is treadigraph for giving us the heads up for this year's Christmas number one.
Slade... Wizzard... Lennon... Band Aid... Bing Crosby... Jackson 5... Paul McCartney... and now for bloody Cliff bloody Richard! Merry feckin' Christmas! Rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat-a-taaaat!

You'll probably find the CST in a Christmas Cracker later this week. All yours Treadigraph.

[treadigraph]

Cheers Confusious, try this one for a coupla days...

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x682/xfu3kgzz3rbuvh4e3kcaytgdfu_5457e909462a0b95243bdaad1db58dd66 5f14e9b.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

Guys can you use me in the cap com at other times in the year. I'm kinda busy this week.

[Confusious]

Don't smile Santa, it says 'ejection seat'.

[cynicalint]

Magic! When I got in, I was Boris Johnson!

[cavuman1]

Too fat to fit!

- Ed

[cavuman1]

Minutes later, the Fighting Falcon plunged to Earth. The cause of the accident turned out to be reindeer ingestion.

- Ed

[Ascend Charlie]

Was i getting in or getting out? I can't remember...

[Ascend Charlie]

Having shot all his reindeer in the previous Capcomp, Santa asks for 5 more to tow the F-16 to the arming area. Then he will shoot them too.

[Chu Chu]

Very generous, Santa. But when you go back north, do you think you could ask the elves to start making Patriots and HIMARS rounds instead?

[Buster Hyman]

"Ha! That fake Santa with the M60 couldn't hit a barn door!!! Boy, will he get a surprise..."

[Buster Hyman]

In the Divorce settlement, Santa got exactly what he wanted. Mary can have the rest he figured.

[Buster Hyman]

"Talk to me Santa..."

[Wensleydale]

Ha! Let NORAD track me this year!!

[622]

Sorry kids....had the Elves full time building me this all year.

...So I'm off to the caribbean, maybe see you next year!

[622]

Richard Bransons let himself go a bit....

[622]

Ho Ho Ho ....have I got a surprise for you Airman..

...I chucked up the whole way and your leave is cancelled to clear it up!

[622]

You could have got me an F35 ...or even a Harrier!
...how am I going to land this on a roof?

[Confusious]

Ho Ho Ho, guess which president is getting a very special gift off me this year!

[cavuman1]

The forward CG exceedence guaranteed that the F-16 could not become airborne. Instead, it skidded off the runway into a Christmas tree lot.

- Ed

[Chu Chu]

Santa loves his new ride, but trading eight reindeer for one donk took some getting used to.

[Kiltrash]

On Christmas day night....Your back early Santa...
Yes, ATC gave me a shorter route this year
Or
When i got to the United Kingdom the Border Farce were on Strike and a nice friendly Airman just saved me through..

[Kiltrash]

Mav gets out the new M10 aircraft, did you experience any strange effects asked the Scientists..
What do you think....

[Kiltrash]

Mrs Claus finally finds a Christmas Present for her husband. Well what DO you get for the man who has everything??
A longer ladder..

[NutLoose]

Santa shows he no longer needs to do the 5 fingered shuffle thanks to his new
JML Larry the Lamb sex toy being demonstrated here and available from the elves and all major retail stores for £19.99 this Christmas.

[NutLoose]

Santa prepares to deliver to Moscow.

[NutLoose]

Santa prepares to deliver Zelensky’s wish list this Christmas.

[Confusious]

After persuading the FAA examiner in the last cap-comp with an M60, Santa's well chuffed with his new wings.

[Confusious]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x682/xfu3kgzz3rbuvh4e3kcaytgdfu_5457e909462a0b95243bdaad1db58dd66 5f14e9b_56a41fcbebc1aedfd6f22eeb3e97026aec81c4bd.jpg

[Confusious]

Any old fruit cake can breach airport security these days.

[Buster Hyman]

The Naughty list became too real for some as Santa took a dump in the cockpit!

[Confusious]

the naughty list became too real for some as santa took a dump in the cockpit!
:) :)​​​​​​​ :)​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

[fdr]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1024x682/xfu3kgzz3rbuvh4e3kcaytgdfu_5457e909462a0b95243bdaad1db58dd66 5f14e9b_56a41fcbebc1aedfd6f22eeb3e97026aec81c4bd.jpg

The Hi Viz arctic survival suit while effective, didn't help hide the identity of the Phantom $h1tter.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Let me tell you selecting afterburner is way more pleasant for me in this ride

[Buster Hyman]

Another happy contestant on Pimp my Ride.

[Kiltrash]

Right, where's all these lonely Military Wives ( and girlfriends ) I hear about while their men are away replacing strikers over Christmas .

[Kiltrash]

The Base Children eagerly awaited Santa's arrival however were confused that his call sign was ' Slasher '

[Kiltrash]

The Base Children eagerly awaited Santa's arrival however were confused as there could not possibly be enough space on his ' sleigh ' for all their presents.
Ah exclaimed Santa, I was prepared and sent them by DHL*
Ah exclaimed the commander, just had a email. Expected delivery 25th January..
* Other late delivery companies are available

[Kiltrash]

If Carlsberg did super delivery service

[Kiltrash]

Biden giver Zelenskky a glimpse of Christmas to come

[Buster Hyman]

My pronouns are Ho, Ho, and Ho.

[treadigraph]

Keep em coming, plan to call it this evening around 8pm as I'll be away from me laptop for a coupla days...

[Dan Gerous]

Thanks to Mrs C's lovely gift last year and the "Santa Space and Time Continuation Equation", I'll be back before I've even started this year.

[Confusious]

When a dyslexic Air Chief Marshal issues orders for a Satan to be sent to Russia.

[Kiltrash]

ATC watched in horror as the Santa and Demon 32 radar return merged

[Kiltrash]

Santa letter to himself asking for a Marshmallow Toaster was granted...

[Kiltrash]

Santa's real identity was finally confirmed as Treadigaph from Croydon, whose slip of the keyboard admitted he would be away for a couple of days...

[Kiltrash]

Dick Dastardly returns in triumph having finally stopped that Pigeon

[Kiltrash]

On a particularly low fly past of the Whitgift centre the pilot wondered how he was sat in a Grotto surrounded by snotty children yanking his Oxygen mask....

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Moments before tragedy struck, Santa was heard to mutter to himself "Must congratulate the elves on a marvelous job of painting these grab handles a festive black and yellow"

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

But is it legally a Hi-Vis vest?

[Big Pistons Forever]

The folks on the naughty list aren't going to enjoy Christmas this year, Heh, Heh, Heh...ere I mean Ho,Ho Ho

[treadigraph]

OK, slightly later than advertised due to a pint more than expected, your scores on the door (whatever that means) are:

Joint second place for occupying the same sewer as me, Buster and fdr with :

The Naughty list became too real for some as Santa took a dump in the cockpit!

The Hi Viz arctic survival suit while effective, didn't help hide the identity of the Phantom $h1tter.

And the winner - with special responsibility for keeping our collective tiny minds occupied over the coming few days - is 622 with :

You could have got me an F35 ...or even a Harrier!
...how am I going to land this on a roof?

Unfortunately I missed the last FredEx collection so the CST has been entrusted to the Royal Mail - second class postage as these days it doesn't make any bleedin' difference...

Happy Christmas!

[Kiltrash]

Congratulations 622... Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Merry Christmas to all...

[622]

Many thanks...and Merry Christmas to all
Lets finish with me being sent to the Tower....make of it what you will!
https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/318x159/image_b2aca0210ac4ea4a4738b717a87afbfff3351bc3.png

[Confusious]

"My dearest Camilla, next time you pose for a sculptor, please shave under your arms."

[Kiltrash]

...and this is all mummy left me in her will. Said it was daddys favourite of all her Busts

[Kiltrash]

After the King's state visit to Greece this was what they presented him with...I hope it reminded him of what he's missing after Diana died.

[Confusious]

"OH DEAR! This one must have come from Thailand."

[Kiltrash]

At the Doctor Who convention in Blackpool the King is introduced to a " Weeping Angel. " and is told whatever he does he must not look away from it..

[Dan Gerous]

What a pair of tits!
What, have Harry and Megan turned up?

[treadigraph]

Oh, apparently it belongs to Andrew...

[Buster Hyman]

And in second place for the Kings Royal Bust is...

[fdr]

Many thanks...and Merry Christmas to all
Lets finish with me being sent to the Tower....make of it what you will!
https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/318x159/image_b2aca0210ac4ea4a4738b717a87afbfff3351bc3.png

"busted, Mister!"

[Kiltrash]

Cami...Go on have a guess....
Chas...eeerrmmm...44DD...
Cami... No hers not mine...you been going through my underwear drawer...again

[Kiltrash]

Has someone turned up the heating here...im getting all hot under the collar

[Kiltrash]

Yes dear this is the official bust for the practice of medal pinning on....it's inflatable and comes with a bicycle repair kit..or that's what Daddy told me when I found it under his bed..

[Kiltrash]

Charles explained to Camilla it is a old Navy tradition to ' fondle * " the ships figurehead for good luck...Camilla apologised for the slap and hoped the red marks would fade soon..
* For want of a suitable word to describe the King's actions

[Chu Chu]

What do the two figures on the right have in common?

Say "nice figurehead" and neither will turn their head.

[Buster Hyman]

Wait… is that Harrys father?

[MPN11]

HM, looking down ... "I see she shaves there as well."

[Big Pistons Forever]

Think bubble over Charles's head

FINALLY !
I get to ogle boobs without mother getting on my case

Too soon ? :O

[Kiltrash]

Hmmm seen more meat on a butchers pencil

[Kiltrash]

Would not normally expect to see the King and Queen ( Consort ) in a window display at Harrods...

[Kiltrash]

With these you can see even without a thermometer it's a bit Nippy today

[Kiltrash]

Strange gift from the Margarine Modellers Club....

[Kiltrash]

Cam....very nice outfit, now what Country are you from??.
Guest...Life*
* Other brands of Butter are available

[Kiltrash]

At the Royal Premier showing of Goldfinger ( 2022) Bond girl Ms Masterson is presented to the King

[NutLoose]

How strange, she won’t be able to tuck those into her underpants like you can Camilla.


​​​​​​…

[Ascend Charlie]

Camilla: "I used to look like that once!"
Chucky: "Yes, it WAS only once..."

[NutLoose]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/318x159/image_b2aca0210ac4ea4a4738b717a87afbfff3351bc3_99c3df2eade22 3e20eb3106148c977c6d4fbf644.png

[NutLoose]

I believe it’s a statue of Diana, the Godess of hunting, didn’t you once know her Charles?

[NutLoose]

Ohh look Charles, they have modelled it with a Tampax, what a splendid gift.

[Confusious]

Cammy, didn't those buggers in Madame Tussauds know that you're not a true blonde?

[cynicalint]

But, er, but er, saying spread them here is surely not inappropriate?

[Confusious]

Ooh look Camilla, it's got one of those things that I didn't find until into my sixties.

[NutLoose]

Well, if we saw the breasts orf, it will be the perfect Christmas present for Andrew.

[Buster Hyman]

I say... What's that chap with the beard doing back there?

[Buster Hyman]

I bet she works better than that bless-ed pen!!!

[Kiltrash]

While touring the Marks and Spencer training facility Charles showed a particular interest in the Bra measurement and fitting class...

[Kiltrash]

At the Husband Shopping Crèche the management have to be creative when the Telly and WiFi breaks down.

[Kiltrash]

...and finally before we have a Family Christmas..

The Royal Couple take a particular interest in the " How to examine your self for Breast and Testicular Cancer "
One Ladyboy needed

Ps Merry Christmas PPRuNe....ers

[NutLoose]

I see the waxwork model of you is coming along nicely Camilla, though I have advised them to take a blowlamp to the breasts and let them sag.



​​​​​​…

[MPN11]

*** Not A Caption ***

Happy Christmas to you lot. Thanks for the laughs!

:ok:

[NutLoose]

*** Not A Caption ***

Happy Christmas to you lot. Thanks for the laughs!

:ok:


Ditto :ok:

[treadigraph]

And from me :ok:

[cavuman1]

Big Ears, 'is 'orse, and the dairy maid what was caught in the churnin' room when the temperature plummeted.
=========================================
NOT A CAPTION
A Very Merry Christmas and a Healthy, Happy and Prosperous New Year to ALL!

- Ed

[MPN11]

HM: “Fancy being thoroughly buttered tonight, dear?”

[Chu Chu]

No wonder the Greeks want these back so badly.

[NutLoose]

Apparently her name is Marge.

[treadigraph]

Old ads...

"You'll never put a better bit of butter on your wife..."

"I can't believe they're not bigger..."

[Kiltrash]

At least they left somewhere for the butter knife

[Kiltrash]

Normally there is a responsible adult required to be present when the Met do a strip search....however this was only a tanning exercise

[Kiltrash]

Unfortunately Santa miss read the Prince of Wales letter that he hopes his dad would have a unfortunate incident with a 96 pound slippery (f)eel

[Kiltrash]

Go on give it a lick .... Salted, Unsalted or Fish...

[treadigraph]

I always wondered what they meant by EEC butter mountains...

Or

It's intervention butter - I fondle, 'er indoors slaps...

[Wensleydale]

"But when my brother said 'Spread 'em', he was toast!"

[treadigraph]

Charles! Butter fingers!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

See Cam...that's where they're supposed to be! Then one doesn't strain one's back so much reaching down.

[Kiltrash]

Don't get many of them to the Pound Camilla..Speak for yourself Charles
​​​​​

[Kiltrash]

Obvious overmanning at Clarence House...i mean a butlers sole job daily is to be creative with the St Ivel Butter pat's for the King's Crumpet..
( Got this idea from the Chamber Maids in ' better ' hotels who fold the hand towelsi into animal shapes when they make up the guest beds.)

[Confusious]

"Oi, you with the grey beard, ring my equerry now and tell him to order one of these 3D Printer thingys. Cammy's getting excited with new ideas for our boudoir."

[Kiltrash]

It's tomorrow we go to open the new Jam making plant init??
God this is a hard life, open this close that go to Parliament, see the PM. Shake hands with Oil Rich Sheikh...it's all go go go.Didnt realise there was so much to do as Monarch. Thought Mum had such a easy time of it...
Don't forget to smile deary like your actual enjoying this...

[Kiltrash]

Later a letter was received at the new Hospital that unfortunately due to Staff Shortages there was no one from the Royal Family to perform the Opening Ceremony

[Kiltrash]

...and to make the King's day complete he gets the news that next week he has to go to York and Luton on the same day.
Don't worry deary said Cam, I hear the Police have banned the sale of eggs..this time 🍳
( I don't think he has been to Croydon yet, has that Omelette to come )

[SASless]

Perhaps the real reason Camilla was made Colonel of the Grenadier Guards

[Kiltrash]

Ok Boxing Day meats done and the Wummim are doing the veg so I can dip in again...

Charles realises that. although he is the King the photographer from the Sun has to fill his Pg 3 column, or Daily Star Pg 5 as I'm led to believe

[Kiltrash]

KCill realises if he does not calm down there may be a abdication soon...oh Archbishop of Canterbury can I divorce my Consort and show my true love for a young American Divorcee??

[Kiltrash]

..and finally so I'm guaranteed to be sent to the Tower....

Airplane 1 is on short finals....with Ted at the controls...
Think assume the crash position

[622]

Will call this tomorrow ….so last orders !!

[MPN11]

Oh, that reminds me … I need to baste the Turkey …

[ShyTorque]

Ooh Camilla, it’s so realistic…..one has just realised why they said it was made from Stork margarine!

[treadigraph]

Ah I remember the days before middle age spread...

[Hydromet]

So this is the origin of the expression "..going in on the buttered bun."

[Wensleydale]

"So why does it always smell of cheese?"

[MPN11]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/318x159/image_b2aca0210ac4ea4a4738b717a87afbfff3351bc3_99c3df2eade22 3e20eb3106148c977c6d4fbf644.png

A last reminder before it melts ...

[treadigraph]

Apparently her name is Marge.

I thought it was Pat...

[Chu Chu]

And here I was thinking they only used the stuff in landing gear.

[622]

Well, time for someone to join me in the Tower for new Year...

....and that worthy winner is :

Traffic_Is_Er_Was with:

See Cam...that's where they're supposed to be! Then one doesn't strain one's back so much reaching down.

Well done, and over to you!

[NutLoose]

Congratulations Traffic, good to see insider Information at work ;)

[Confusious]

Starting to get withdrawal symptoms. 😫

[622]

Reminder mail was sent ...
...maybe the Wifi in the Tower is not so good! :E

[Kiltrash]

He will be OK. .i have it on good authority that the traffic on the Gold Coast highway has been delayed due to roadworks...

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Thanks, and apologies all. You're right Kiltrash. it's hell out there.
Have at this:
https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.e9c7a92e0107e4ef051ce602a8678cc1?rik=0OrlJHuvn1%2fGTA&riu=http%3a%2f%2fdailynewsdig.com%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2014%2f10%2fFunny-Pictures-Military-Day-Off-14.jpg&ehk=3B48abD%2b0hjF2oTYtQmCcXhzugf%2b3ZeLbzAXAwcjY64%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0

[treadigraph]

It's panto season so all together now - BEHIND YOU!

[Ascend Charlie]

In India, Durga gets drafted, and looks scary as hell.

[Hydromet]

Cpl Nakimura's section really went into an all-round defensive position.

[Big Pistons Forever]

HAHa You only brought one gun to a gun fight !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Wow when the recruiter told me I was an army of one, I didn’t think he was being literal

[Big Pistons Forever]

Yup in current the “less is more “ fiscal climate, this is your new squad

[Big Pistons Forever]

Gosh, that buy brings “weapons handling” to new level !

[Wensleydale]

first demonstration of the AK-658

[Wensleydale]

A preview of a new event for the 2024 Paris Olympic games: Synchronised Sniping.

[Kiltrash]

The Police in Las Vagas beieve the shooter acted alone

Ps Traffic...I remember it well when we lived in Jacobs Well and Coolangatta....

[Kiltrash]

Security Staff upskill to thwart the Shoplifters in the January sales

[Kiltrash]

Russia forces show they are fully armed.....later investigation show however a lack of Ammo

[Kiltrash]

Pvt Inia Says got the idea from Madusa

[Buster Hyman]

Winter is Coming...to the LAC.

[Buster Hyman]

Every 70's Disco video flashed before our eyes!

[Kiltrash]

In a Southern States Drawl...
You see Children if your Really Really Bad Santa will give you what's on your list ..
Or
Look Honey what my 14 nearest and Dearest got me for Christmas

[Buster Hyman]

Putins bodyguard had every angle covered...unfortunately, the camera man had a gun...

[Kiltrash]

Due to a manpower shortage the MOD decide on a new approach for firing squads will be adopted however later an issue arose with identifying who fired the fatal shot

[Kiltrash]

If you have any complaints in your local Indian restaurant the management will be more than welcome to hear your feedback

[Kiltrash]

David Tennant later regretted coming back as Doctor Who when he realised the Cybermen had a upgrade

[ShyTorque]

An “All Arms” exercise.

[treadigraph]

Video still from Leo Sayer's new hit "One Man Army"...

[MPN11]

Thanks, and apologies all. You're right Kiltrash. it's hell out there.
Have at this:
https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.e9c7a92e0107e4ef051ce602a8678cc1?rik=0OrlJHuvn1%2fGTA&riu=http%3a%2f%2fdailynewsdig.com%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2014%2f10%2fFunny-Pictures-Military-Day-Off-14.jpg&ehk=3B48abD%2b0hjF2oTYtQmCcXhzugf%2b3ZeLbzAXAwcjY64%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0
Not showing here ... does this work?

[Confusious]

"At the third STRIKE it will be six, twenty five and 10 seconds...BANG, BANG, BANG."

[Kiltrash]

If you think the last one was difficult I would like to see the Butter Modeling Society have a go at this...

Not a caption...
Off to the GolfCourse....gotta burnoff some Turkey and chocolate...that was a strange mix on my plate..

[Confusious]

Nepalese pest control advert showing that they've got all bases covered, from mosquitoes to moles.

[Ascend Charlie]

We stand by the Second Amendment...the right to bear arms. And I got fifteen arms...

[Dan Gerous]

My Kung Fu is stronger than your Kung Fu.


https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.e9c7a92e0107e4ef051ce602a8678cc1?rik=0OrlJHuvn1%2fGTA&riu=http%3a%2f%2fdailynewsdig.com%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2014%2f10%2fFunny-Pictures-Military-Day-Off-14.jpg&ehk=3B48abD%2b0hjF2oTYtQmCcXhzugf%2b3ZeLbzAXAwcjY64%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0

[treadigraph]

Me Spike Manygun. Me publish memoires soon, such as "Saddam, My Part in His Downfall", "Rumsfeld? Gunner Who?" "Mugabe, My Part in His Victory", "Kim Jong Il, His Part in My Outfall" and "Putin, Hello Sailor!" last two are rather more kiss and tell...

[Chu Chu]

Modi decides that Durga needs a little modernization.

[622]

The Swiss army have more than just knives!

[Kiltrash]

Well according to the sundial it's 22.00 ....somewhere in the World...

[Kiltrash]

In Florida for the tourists the Gun Club guarantee a bulls eye ...for them to boast about back home down the pub.
or
No matter where the Highway Agency put the road signs this guarantees the ' furniture ' will have holes in it

[Kiltrash]

Guarantee to get excellent TV...or Satellite ...reception anywhere in the World

[Kiltrash]

Ernest Stavro Blowfeld designs a Laser kit that not even James Bond can locate

[Wensleydale]

At the end of the display, Tensing was supposed to present arms - except he had forgotten to bring his rifle.

[Kiltrash]

Harry and the rest of his Invictus Games chums get ready to welcome Mr Clarkson with a rounding volley of applause

[NutLoose]

Fan out men…

[NutLoose]

General Custer San’s last stand

[NutLoose]

We’re going to have to modify Jones’s butchers van again for this new weapons drill.

[NutLoose]

We’ve got them encircled

[Kiltrash]

Come into my lair, said the spider to the fly

[Kiltrash]

The local rotary club put on a show for the neighborhood watch

[Kiltrash]

All together now...after...one..two.three..
YMCA ...

[Chu Chu]

Minigun proof of concept reveals more work is required.