Caption competition

[Wander00]

Tell the designer that the enines are heavier than the fuselage

[clicker]

Antonov had found a way to stop Ivan shutting down the wrong engine.

[NutLoose]

"Jeez all those engines and I can still here the Air Engineer whining over them"

[CoffmanStarter]

Chief ... I'm thinking we might need to bring forward that wing spar mod :hmm:

[nimbev]

This is what Blackburn REALLY had in mind when they designed the Beverley.

[Danny42C]

I think they're starting to breed !

[Roadster280]

Impressive as the engineering was, the payload of 3 boxes of eggs and a balloon was not of much military value, once the extra fuel tanks had been fitted.

[ShyTorque]

"And if you move the throttles like this with both hands you can play the national anthem on takeoff!"

[Kiltrash]

The only issue is that after the oil checks from no 1 - 18 are done, we are out of duty hours and a fresh crew take over with oil check no 1 - 18, and then we run out of duty hours and a fresh crew take over....
(groundhog day)

[Dan Gerous]

Take us out of orbit Mr Checkoff.

[Buster Hyman]

Antonov, knowing the inherent reliability problems with their engines, designed the wings for multiple 'fifth pod' use and clearly, it was needed.

[cargosales]

Antonov finally gave in to their Navs' requests for even bigger butty boxes ....

[simon brown]

When Antonov got their certification for crossing the Atlantic, their factor of safety was somewhat extreme

[622]

"No Captain, thats not a fan ..it's the fuel gauge!"

[Danny42C]

I shall now demonstrate the Worst Case Asymmetic Approach Procedure.....:uhoh:

....You may find the knee load rather heavy.

[Arm out the window]

The performance characteristics were deemed acceptable, but with all the intake blanks in the back there was no room for any cargo.

[Danny42C]

Don't start any yet, Comrade Engineer, Erkski Skiveoff has left his meat pie to warm up in a tail pipe, but can't remember which one (this may take some time).

[Buster Hyman]

Banned from flying in the Tropics due to its Cyclone inducing vortex's, Antonov's Freighter was left to hauling freight down motorways.

[Danny42C]

Cap'n, Comrade Chief Engineering Officer is very cross with you - when you opened up to pull out of the line, you blew his hangar away - and when you did the full power check on the brakes you blew all the runway behind you away - and they haven't found the Runway Control Caravan yet !

[Big Pistons Forever]

One more day and then I will choose the worst, the best, and the winner......

[Surplus]

Introducing the B117.

[CoffmanStarter]

I'll give the Sparrows "Smoke On GO!" :}

[Rocket2]

Ok crew - lets have the Airbus / Antonov A390 pre-departure sing song;

18 smokey engines working on our wings, 18 smokey engines working on our wings & if one smokey engine accidentally quits there'd still be 17 smokey engines working on our wings.
17 smokey engines working on our wings, 17 smokey engines working on our wings & if one smokey engine accidentally quits there'd still be 16 smokey engines working on our wings.
(I think you know the rest of the song :})

[NutLoose]

Nope :p





One more day and then I will choose worst

Cool, fight ya for it Buster.

[Roadster280]

The Russian Airforce finally found a cure for endemic penis envy in aircrew.

[NutLoose]

"Do we have blown flaps too?"
"No, I don't think she was rostered on this flight"

[Kiltrash]

With the recent upsurge in bird stikes bringing down aircraft, Antonov find a novel engineering solution

Yes mr Boeing, well spotted, we have engineered out the RAT.

[Buster Hyman]

Cool, fight ya for it Buster.
No contest. Congrats Nutty! :p

[NutLoose]

Nooooooo

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/196/200/727-computer-reaction-face-gun-shoot-head-suicide-an-hero.png

[Fantome]

"Just a word of warning, Comrade Igor. Our design bureau chiefs want to see from you some useful work. Your career advancement requires much more than being smart with the photoshopping. "

[clicker]

One banana, two banana, three banana, four....sixteen banana, seventeen banana, eighteen banana, snore.

[Big Pistons Forever]

The Worst

Nutty

"Do we have blown flaps too ?
No, I don't think she was rostered on this flight"


The Best

Nutty

"Jeez all those engines and I can still hear the air engineer whining over them"


And now because I have the power to deny Nutty and Buster WAH HAA HAA !

The Winner is

Nimbev

" This is what Blackburn REALLY had in mind when they designed the Beverly"

Over to you nimbev

[NutLoose]

Congratulations everyone :E

[CoffmanStarter]

Well played all :D

[nimbev]

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-o7oQW_0gIL8/UnFjE6E8JKI/AAAAAAAABHQ/JceKl7dEKrA/w709-h401-no/n2y-1+%25282%2529.jpghttp://https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/jLwJABffQVUmen-_n1Gb8EUo19HaqQ14gGBh59GQqC8=w373-h210-p-nohttps://plus.google.com/photos/104540944393312899740/albums/5940635528520646865/5940639291256058546?banner=pwa&authkey=CNCeoI-J-v2QtgE&pid=5940639291256058546&oid=104540944393312899740

[nimbev]

In case you want to know what this is - it is a Consolidated N2Y-1 fighter being launched/recovered by either the USN's MACON or AKRON airship. If not suitable for the competition plse feel free to substitute.

[NutLoose]

MOD work on cutting fuel bills.

[ShyTorque]

The truth suddenly dawned on Bill.

There was more to the expression "Just nip outside and clean the windows of his Airship's office" than he had been led to believe.

[Buster Hyman]

Broadsword calling Danny Boy...Broadsword calling Danny Boy...No sign of Zepplins in Sector A, moving on to Sector B...over!

[CoffmanStarter]

Hold it still BEagle ... I can't get my nozzle in for a top up :uhoh:

[CoffmanStarter]

"Beam me up, Scotty"

[Buster Hyman]

George Lucas thought the original opening scene for Star Wars lacked ooomph.

[Surplus]

Tetris, the early years.

[Roadster280]

As Nelson's Column toppled, a tiny biplane fell out the side of it.

[Buster Hyman]

The wing walking Zepplin was the highlight of Nutty's barnstorming show.

[Big Pistons Forever]

The pilots are starting to really resent the Zeppelin crews descriptions of their launch operations as "and then the ship had a bowel movement"

[Buster Hyman]

Well whaddya know? Seamen can fly!

[Kiltrash]

Biggles thought, well oops, I tried to find Macon but all I got was Graf Zepplin, well they all look the same as he is marched off to a POW camp

While attempting his latest round the world flight, beardy Branson wished he had paid the extra for a inside seat

[Surplus]

Congratulations Mrs Zeppelin, it's a pup.

[Buster Hyman]

Biggles considered this an ingeniuos way to avoid enemy radar until Ginger pointed out that it hadn't been invented yet!

[airborne_artist]

"And once you are over the threshold it's a snap roll and you land on. Don't be late with the round out though Hoskins."

[CoffmanStarter]

Cue a song ...

"Those Magnificent men and their Flying Trapeze"

[CoffmanStarter]

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-o7oQW_0gIL8/UnFjE6E8JKI/AAAAAAAABHQ/JceKl7dEKrA/w709-h401-no/n2y-1+%25282%2529.jpg

[CoffmanStarter]

Kirk to Enterprise ... My Shuttle Craft is caught in some sort of alien tractor beam ... I'm going in ... Kirk Out.

[Buster Hyman]

CRIKEY! What's an upside down hangar doing all the way up here?

[NutLoose]

"He's having problems getting it in, deploy the hair!"


..

[NutLoose]

"There were eight in the Zep and the little one said roll over, roll over, so we all rolled over and one fell out, there were seven in the Zep and the little one said roll over......"


..

[CoffmanStarter]

Lt. R. J. Laytecks USN undertakes an external check for perforations :E

[cattletruck]

Note on the end of the trapeze: "Out to lunch, back in 1 hour".

[622]

Although their Airships liked the concept, they were not impressed with the name 'Avro Haemorrhoid'.

[Buster Hyman]

This was the moment that Michael York realised that the producers couldn't afford stuntmen.

[CoffmanStarter]

"Maverick, you're at 3/4 of a mile. Call the ball ... :cool:"

[CoffmanStarter]

"Clear to land ... Cable up ..."

[CoffmanStarter]

I suspect the pilot, when he were a lad, used to hang his Airfix models from his bedroom ceiling :hmm:

[NutLoose]

"Steady...Steady...steady...... He's nearly there....Ok flush the toilet NOW!"

[Kiltrash]

What was well known is that Harrison Ford and (Sir) Sean Connery escape from the Zeppelin in The Last Crusade, what is less well known this stunt was actually undertaken by Nutty and Buster and when they (Crash) landed the Me109 was piloted by Coffman, in a vain attempt to secure top sopt in the all time list of Cap Comm posters

[Rosevidney1]

I get such an awful crick in my neck when I have to do this little stunt!

[Danny42C]

We're losing height - dump the ballast !

[Buster Hyman]

What happened to our wing walker?....Oh, the Humanity!!!!

[Surplus]

Airborne mobile phone towers were a lot lower powered than the ground stations, getting good reception proved a challenge to aviators.

[NutLoose]

"Look its poo'd out a little plane, you can tell when it gets diorrhea as you get a Tornado"

[Willard Whyte]

George Lucas' first attempt didn't make the final cut...

http://www.theforce.net/swtc/Pix/given/rb/tyd-door.jpg

[oxenos]

Sod this trapeze nonsense, why don't I just fly in through that aeroplane shaped hole?

[Dave Wilson]

Hoskins PVRd and escaped from their Airship's grasp...

[nimbev]

Unaccustomed as I am to adjudicating high profile international competitions such as this, I'll let it run another 24 hours and then see what your devious (or do I mean deviant) minds have generated.

[Buster Hyman]

Nutty misunderstood the term "Bi-plane" & took it to mean that he could have a crack at anything...:E

[Rocket2]

Another from my song sheet

"Theres Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow, Theres Klingons on the starboard bow Jim!"

[NutLoose]

Unaccustomed as I am to adjudicating high profile international competitions such as this, I'll let it run another 24 hours and then see what your devious (or do I mean deviant) minds have generated.


You are doing fine and nice to have new blood in the competition, the only rule I can think of to help you is:-

1. Never let Buster win

:E

[CoffmanStarter]

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-o7oQW_0gIL8/UnFjE6E8JKI/AAAAAAAABHQ/JceKl7dEKrA/w709-h401-no/n2y-1+%25282%2529.jpg

[CoffmanStarter]

One small step for man ... One giant leeeeeeeeaaaaaaappppppp ...

[ShyTorque]

Biplane to Airship:

"You are being intercepted. I am handcuffing you now and then I will take you to my leader!"

Airship to Biplane:

"Ooh, stop messin' about - you're tickling!"

[NutLoose]

"Bloody clampers, they've figured out how to get us up here too."

***

"Stand by to be clamped, you are not moving.... " "I am, it's the headwind"

[CoffmanStarter]

Buster has been playing with his Dirigible again ... Sorry that was supposed to be Didgeridoo :E

[ShyTorque]

"We have flown 5,000 miles to deliver you this very urgent letter, so here it is - Whoops, Damn, dropped the beggar!"

[NutLoose]

"How did you know we were Australian?"
"Because the British Be2 does not have the skids on the top"

[Tashengurt]

"F*ck it. Let's walk!"


Posted from Pprune.org App for Android

[Buster Hyman]

hellloooo.....were from the church of jesus christ and latter day saints and....hello?

[Arm out the window]

(Picture must be viewed with 90 deg right rotation for this to make any sense)...


"Screw you King Kooooooooong!"

[nimbev]

End of Game. We had about 50 entries in 48 hours and it was very difficult to pick a winner as there were some excellent entries. However I understand from Nutloose that the result doesnt matter so long as Buster doesnt win. So......

Honourable Mention
Nutloose
Steady .......Steady........ steady He's nearly there.....OK flush the toilet NOW!

Runner up
Buster
hellloooo.....were from the church of jesus christ and latter day saints and....hello?

But the winner......
Surplus
Congratulations Mrs Zeppelin, it's a pup.

Well done everybody

Over to you Surplus

[Surplus]

Thanks very much Nimbev, hope this is a new one:

(I know it's photoshopped, the Chap was pasted in later.)

http://i1007.photobucket.com/albums/af197/Philaitch/656-1024x645_zpsac4e234b.jpg (http://s1007.photobucket.com/user/Philaitch/media/656-1024x645_zpsac4e234b.jpg.html)

[NutLoose]

Oh God, my thong has ridden right up my crack.



..

[Big Pistons Forever]

Sic Itur Ad Astra

[NutLoose]

"He went that way"

[Runaway Gun]

"Yo Pilot, now do the Pew Pew thing wit yo guns."

[clicker]

July 2099. PO Wobbles catches the first ever launch of the Royal Navy's F-35 from HMS Nutloose. HMS Nutloose along with her sister ships HMS Buster and HMS Coffman took over from the QE class carriers mothballed in 2016.

[Buster Hyman]

(HMAS Buster...thank you very much!)

Crikey! His pants must be tight!
Yes, the Force is strong in this one...

***

Red 3 standing byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy................................ ............

***

Oh FFS Luke! You're supposed to call the ball, not use the bluddy Force to bring it to you!

[brickhistory]

R2D2 hated his Goose callsign...


==============================


Trainee catapult officer, "With the blast shield down, how will I know?"


====================================

X-wing crews were not amused by the Cat officer's shadow puppets routine...

[NutLoose]

(HMAS Buster...thank you very much!)

Surely it should be HMASS Buster :O

[nimbev]

The trials team held their breath - with AIRFIX Industries now the sole supplier of UK hardware, concern was beginning to mount as to the strength of the glue being used.

[nimbev]

A WikiLeaks photo showing that Time Travel is an everyday happening in 2059 as a XB4/a.3 of 69 Sqn of the European Federation Airforce assists the US 7th Fleet in its search for Iraqi WMD during the 2nd Gulf War.

[NutLoose]

In a combined operation, Chief of the Air staff Sir Humphrey Haddit DFC AFC, the last remaining member of the RAF, ably assisted by Admiral of the Fleet Lord Titus D'Barrel the sole remaining RN member, launch the Last RAF Aircraft from the Group 4 carrier HMP Queen Elizabeth 2 prior to its imminent sale to the Somalian Navy in the last of the Services SDSR cuts. Following its final flight Sir Humphrey Haddit will fly the X Wing into RAF Upavon the final RAF super base for decommissioning and transfer by road to RAF Hendon.

[ShyTorque]

"If you ever run over my bad leg again I'm definitely going to shoot you"

[NutLoose]

" I feel the need to get down to some Saturday Night beaver"

[Dan Gerous]

$20 squillion a pop, and we're still using steam catapults!

[cattletruck]

Trust me Admiral, anyone can fly one, just remember to stop making an engine noise with your mouth and take a deep breath when you reach the end of the catapult.

[CoffmanStarter]

Strange that ... an X-Wing Fighter flown by a Astromech Droid controlled from RAF Waddington by 39 Squadron ... Who's going to believe that :E

[CoffmanStarter]

Typical Navy pilot ... He's left all four pitot covers on :ugh:

[brickhistory]

Colors for the squadron seemed to have gotten out of hand again...





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Although the multi-hook idea showed promise, the early trials revealed some needed redesign for placement...

[622]

So, Skywalker did join the Dark Side then! :E

[SASless]

The Head is that way Sir!

[Big Pistons Forever]

Dateline 2127

The MOD regrets to announced that operational use of the outer space battle station, under construction since 2054, is once again delayed.

However a work around has been developed in order to support limited operations ..........

[Big Pistons Forever]

King George is thrilled to fly the latest RN fighter from the same ship his grandfather commissioned.

[ACW599]

There was some doubt about whether the frontispiece to Hanoi Jane's book was a wholly accurate depiction of his first solo.

[NutLoose]

"Exhaust port?... Errrm... Ahh, you mean the Carriers exhaust port, it is that way, once in the trench, turn off your targeting pod and use the force mate, you can't miss it."


..

[PingDit]

"They certainly won't like this one 'up em' Captain Mainwaring...."

[Buster Hyman]

"They came from....behind!"
"Pfft! Welcome to the Navy!"

[CoffmanStarter]

The opening slide of Sharkey's recent Power Point presentation to MP's on "Why the X-Wing Fighter is a more realistic proposition than the F-35 for the Royal Navy"


... I think he may have a point :E

[Kiltrash]

But if the X Fighter has VTOL capability why am I pointing horizontally?
Or is this part of the job creation Dave promised

[nimbev]

Go go go X! Your Y chromosomes are thataway!

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

The F-35 Cancelled, then what ? thread launches its bid for Pprune hegemony by invading the Caption Competition thread, claiming it was asked in to protect against 'Imperialist Elements' and 'running-dog capitalists'

[Buster Hyman]

Yoda tried & tried to teach Luke how to lift his X-wing with the Force, but clearly, it was no match for a Steam Catapult!

[NutLoose]

"You were caught snogging your sister, get off my ship Luke"

[Surplus]

Entries slowing down, judging tonight.

[Dan Gerous]

It was the old quantity versus quality argument. Lots of X fighters from an old launch platform, or 3 Angel Interceptors, from a brand new Cloudbase.

[cattletruck]

Who says UAV designers don't have a sesnse of humour - wait till the Taliban get a sight of this.

[Surplus]

Ok, I lied, Judging now:

Candidates are :

Big Pistons Forever with: Sic Itur Ad Astra (I had to look it up)


Runawaygun "Yo Pilot, now do the Pew Pew thing wit yo guns."

Nutloose: "You were caught snogging your sister, get off my ship Luke"

Coffmanstarter: Typical Navy pilot ... He's left all four pitot covers on :ugh:


First one to post wins.

[Big Pistons Forever]

http://www.barnorama.com/wp-content/images/2011/02/m74/01.jpg

Eat my dust Buster, Coff and Nutty !

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Tony Blair & friends

[NutLoose]

Buster does the Funky Chicken..

[NutLoose]

If Carlsberg did Vindaloo ring cures, it would be the highest, longest and coolest Vindaloo ring cure in the World

[clicker]

BPF's gas cloud was later judged to be similar to the one that killed the dinosaurs.

[SASless]

A perfect representation of what Buster feels like when Nutty loses a CapCom event!

[CoffmanStarter]

http://www.barnorama.com/wp-content/images/2011/02/m74/01.jpg

[CoffmanStarter]

Yep ... he's certainly flying ... err sorry ... falling IFR :}

[CoffmanStarter]

Fox3 punches out his Nav as he forgot to bring along enough Bananas :}

[CoffmanStarter]

BEagle puts his VC-10 Tanker on Auto Pilot and then jumps out to show a baby FJ pilot how to insert his probe :}

[CoffmanStarter]

Nah ... That's Cloud 8 mate :cool:

[CoffmanStarter]

Talk Down Controller ... "Slightly above glide path ... adjust your rate of descent" :ugh:

[brokenlink]

X Factor wannabee remixes the Robbie Williams classic to "Falling without Wings" and crashes 'n' burns taking it a bit too literally during the filming of the promo vid!

[NutLoose]

Bugger me, does that Rodeo horse buck...,

[Danny42C]

I wandered lonely as a cloud.......

or

Stores haven't any Wings or Harps - here's a Deficiency Chit !

or

Where the Hell did my Bang Seat go ? - the chute's still in it ! :(

[Kiltrash]

Knew it was a design flaw to put the parachute on the horse saddle

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Now that the SR72 stealth has been perfected all we have to do is redesign the crew

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Luke finally comes to terms that his X fighter does have faster than light capability

------------------------------------------------------------------

Icarus should have listened to his father

[ShyTorque]

Short sighted Nutty puts on pilot's rucksack by mistake and jumps......

"Flap, Nutty, flap!"

--------------------------

Smith quickly regretted going on the bouncy castle at his local Weight watchers' garden party....

[SASless]

The Lad thought this being an Airy Fairy was getting a bit serious!

[E-Spy]

The Silver Surfer's normal costume was in the wash

[ShyTorque]

SASless riding his "Ape-hanger" Harley seconds after it blew up under him.

[NutLoose]

RAF trial new CPX stealth fighter

[Buster Hyman]

Nutty takes Wonder Woman's plane for a spin.

***


Proof that contrails have real substance

[Surplus]

The last aircraft in the RAF was withdrawn quickly and for the pilot, unexpectedly.

[NutLoose]

Boy is this gonna beat a splattered fly on the windscreen

[Buster Hyman]

Bruce's latest dividend cheque from his Qantas shares really did bounce.

[cattletruck]

http://www.barnorama.com/wp-content/images/2011/02/m74/01.jpg

Grow stick, grow again stick, grow nice and large again for King Monkey.

[EyesFront]

This time, Martin Baker really excelled itself...

[brickhistory]

Acme wasn't good at HALO equipment either...

[622]

Hoskins soon realised it was probably not the best time to admit to having an affair with his Pilots wife!

[NutLoose]

Buster and the Invisible man join the mile high club.

[Surplus]

30 Seconds after the photo was taken, he met a man on the way up. When asked if he knew anything about parachutes? He replied "No, do you know anything about leaks in gas cookers?"

[Danny42C]

Never mind - it's not the fall that hurts, but the bump at the bottom !

[CoffmanStarter]

That's not flying!..that's just falling with style :ok:

[NutLoose]

Agent Goodspeed was just to late in lighting his flares.

[nimbev]

Come on St Peter, you going to let me in or not?

[Buster Hyman]

That's right Officer, I was up here minding my own business, when this idiot in a Red Bull suit screams past me! Honestly, I almost pooped a Rainbow!

[Rakshasa]

BAE demonstrates its '6th Generation' strike-fighter.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Judging tomorrow

[clicker]

Bloggs was worried that he might land on the barbed wire fence he could see below him.

[Buster Hyman]

Peter Andre recalls the time when Jordans "fun bag"went off.

[SASless]

Jones had a not very long time to consider the pitfalls of taking up with the parachute Rigger's Wife.

[provo]

Welcome to cloud 9...

[SASless]

"Ere! Don't hang about Jones.....do get a move on will you!"


Or.....


After lighting his Fag in the Dunny......Coffman recalled why he chose his room name!

[dazdaz1]

Free fall kung foo

[sikeano]

Gagnam Cloud style

[CoffmanStarter]

Meanwhile at MOD Boscombe Down, QinetiQ complete the final Release to Service tests on the new Mk6a Bicycle Clips to be issued to F-35 Aircrew for use when the main lift engine fails during the hover :eek:

QinetiQ ... "Helping to preserve dignity in tight situations"

[Dan Gerous]

Standby for Chemtrail, in 3, 2, 1...

[ShyTorque]

Coff,

Boing .... Weeeee ... Boing ... Bouncy Castle anyone ,

As per post #20573?

Smith quickly regretted going on the bouncy castle at his local Weight watchers' garden party....

;)

[CoffmanStarter]

Shy ... Fair do's mate :ok:

[Big Pistons Forever]

With apologies to the movie "Top Gun"

Nutty your ego is righting checks you body can't cash. You are this close to being told to find pictures of Rubber Dog Poop in Hong Kong !

I can't believe what I am about to do. I am going you your dream shot. For the next six days you are going to lead the best of the best, Yes You are going to CAP COM !

Congrats the winning post was "Boy is this gonna beat a splattered fly on the windscreen"

[SASless]

Ah Nutty may have won....but he like the Bug will not have the guts to do that again I bet!

[NutLoose]

Thank you, have been searching to find something fitting at this time of remembrance, without being disrespectful.

So here goes, scoring in a week or less if it's time is done.

http://lowres-picturecabinet.com.s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/162/main/2/743907.jpg





New recruits to the British Army are measured for their uniforms during the First World War. by Nicholls Horace | Museum quality art prints | Imperial War Museums (http://www.iwmprints.org.uk/image/743907/nicholls-horace-new-recruits-to-the-british-army-are-measured-for-their-uniforms-during-the-first-world-war)

[clicker]

Had a good lunch did we laddie? Well its bully beef and plum jam from now on, if you're lucky both together.

[ShyTorque]

"There you go Sergeant - I told you I was medically unfit due to one leg being longer than the other!"

"Don't worry, Laddie - where you're going the ground isn't level!"

[Buster Hyman]

Well, I'm afraid the tape measure never lies. And, whilst we've caught you out on your exaggerations there Nutty, I can't give you the exact measurement because this tape doesn't do fractions.

***

Nutty could barely contain his excitement...the inside leg measurement was next!

[Kiltrash]

Pedal faster Doris, there are another 3m men coming through

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes laddie do what is expected of you and we wont be needing these Euro Measurements,
Who the hell wants to be a euro size 20?

[Danny42C]

You mean they actually measure you for your uniforms ? When was this ?

[SASless]

The old Army Tape Measure.....two marks....."Too Small....Too Big!"

[Buster Hyman]

Say. Who's that Sew & Sew at the desk there?

***

C'or...give 'em a uniform n they fink they're Hitler!

[Hydromet]

I didn't volunteer for the army, I was stitched up!

[nimbev]

Small waist, big ****, black wristwatch, nice mustache - you're off to the RFC to become a pilot my boy!!

[cattletruck]

HQ said I was officer material, and here I am.

[ShyTorque]

"Ah, young Mr. Peacock. One day you'll become a Captain and after this is all over, you'll serve in a TV comedy with Mrs Slocombe's pussy and some poncy bloke one who shouts "I'm Freee.."

[Big Pistons Forever]

Now that you mention it, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to post Sargent Bloggins to the clothing depot given his habit of reversing numbers.

[Big Pistons Forever]

The Germans most successful sabotage operation of the War involved infiltrating the clothing depot and subtracting 3 inches from the inseam of ever pant leg measurement.

[red zebra]

That'll fit behind a desk, off to Sandhurst for you then

[sikeano]

Any measurement must take into account the position of the observer. There is no such thing as measurement absolute, there is only measurement relative................blah blah blah.........

[CoffmanStarter]

http://lowres-picturecabinet.com.s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/162/main/2/743907.jpg

[CoffmanStarter]

So your hat size is 6 3/4" ... so that'll be a 34" trouser then ... next !

[CoffmanStarter]

So you're Private Baldrick ... I've a feeling we're going to hear a lot about you in the coming months ...

[Buster Hyman]

Ahhh! No Laddie, I'm not measuring you for trousers...

:(:(:(

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Early Fitness Tests

"Two inches over - give that man's rations to the Regimental mascot for the next week!"

[Surplus]

Sorry Sonny, but you can't join up until you get this tapeworm problem sorted.

[SASless]

"Buster sat at his machine thinking he has this one sewn up as well!"

[NutLoose]

No he hasn't ;)

[622]

No Sergeant!..I said form a rowing team with a great Cox! :O

[Kiltrash]

The Doctor and Amy found the Cybermen upgrading local railway porters to an efficient operation, and descided it was best to leave them to it!, British Rail was born

[Tashengurt]

38 inches! Put this one down for nav school Cpl!


Posted from Pprune.org App for Android

[PingDit]

"Yep, perfect. Nice big flat cap and a waist like yours...you're now officially a nail."

[SASless]

Enough Compo Rations Lad and yer Willie will be hanging like the end of this Tape!

[Fly26]

"See for yourself Sgt. I'm thinking of calling my new venture weight watchers"......"don't be so stupid laddie, it will never catch on, your be calling it slim fast next"

[daze_gone_buy]

Smithers found the waistline expectations of tour on kipper fleet a little hard to comprehend

[SASless]

Look 'ere Sarge....why do I have to wear my Hat with my Civvies to remind me of my having been in the Army?

[NutLoose]

Time is a ticking and this ones taking a licking,

So scoring tomorrow, last orders called..

[CoffmanStarter]

last orders called...

Very decent of you old chap ... Familiy Size G&T please :ok:

[NutLoose]

You shouldn't, not with your bladder.

[brickhistory]

Stig production line during the radio Top Gear days...

[squeaker]

Khaki? With my skin tone??

[Oceanz]

Yes Bloggs, you really are The Biggest Loser

[NutLoose]

Drum roll and the winner is....

Fly26 with

"See for yourself Sgt. I'm thinking of calling my new venture weight watchers"......"don't be so stupid laddie, it will never catch on, your be calling it slim fast next"

Runners up are

Coff
So you're Private Baldrick ... I've a feeling we're going to hear a lot about you in the coming months ...

Danny
You mean they actually measure you for your uniforms ? When was this ?

Red Zebra
That'll fit behind a desk, off to Sandhurst for you then


Thanks everyone and over to you Fly26

[CoffmanStarter]

Well done Fly26 :D:D:D:D

Good subject pic Nutty :ok:

[NutLoose]

Thanks, I try to give subjects where there are several figures that can be used to bounce off each other. :O

[Fly26]

Thanks guys, that was unexpected. It was a great picture, I'm glad I could provide a chuckle. Hats off to the Rest.......Sorry, I couldn't resist! Standby one everybody I will hunt for a suitable picture this evening :)

[Fly26]

http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af162/CoffmanStarter/image_zps3846df53.jpg

[Fly26]

Okay everyone, I hope this has not been done already, slightly new to the thread. sorry if it has and I will get another.....disregard the caption, I'm sure everyone can do better...!

I will kick it off with " fox 3, where's John"?

[CoffmanStarter]

The original Belly Gunner :E

[Fly26]

Thanks a lot Coffmanstarter, Im not too hot when it comes to the laptop, more of a stick and dial kind of chap. thanks again :ok:

[SASless]

So what is new about turn your head and the gun points concept?

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

"Fox 3, where's my banana?"

boom, boom;)

[CoffmanStarter]

Buster out on a Rabbit Shoot :}

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Maverick was beginning to regret his choice of nickname.

[Art E. Fischler-Reisen]

It has been done before...

[Rosevidney1]

PFC Finkelstein thought the 30mm GAU-8 to be inadequate.

[CoffmanStarter]

A whole new meaning to "Cock, Hook and Look" :}


That dates me ...

[CoffmanStarter]

What ... No ordnance Colour Code Bands :=

[CoffmanStarter]

http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af162/CoffmanStarter/image_zps3846df53.jpg

[Wander00]

You idiot - put your shirt on or you will catch cold

[Fly26]

Art E. FR

Apologies, executive decision to continue the thread, there's some crackers. Judging at the end of the week. Enjoy all


"Private smudge was more than nervous when the gear warning horn sounded"

[CoffmanStarter]

Pte Sneb the Station Health & Safety Officer says you've got to wear some Factor 30 before going on Ops :}

[CoffmanStarter]

Typical ... Armourers will strap anything to a pylon :oh:

[clicker]

In case of an undercarriage failure your rear straps will release. A minimum run rate of 2000 steps per minute is required to maintain forward speed on touchdown.

[Danny42C]

"Corkscrew, Skipper !"


EDIT: Sorry chaps - thought he was the rear gunner (didn't know which way I was going - happens a lot these days). Disqualify this !

D.

[airborne_artist]

"In flight catering and toilet facilities are not available on this Ryanair flight to Camp Bastion".

[CoffmanStarter]

AMRAAM ... Advanced Medium Range Armed Airborne Marine :)

[Surplus]

Definitely not a smart weapon.

[CoffmanStarter]

I understand this is standard rig for all landings and departures at either Mumbai or Karachi airport these days :(

[Fly26]

"If you spread your legs you will also act as a speedbrake"

[CoffmanStarter]

Following his success implementing the Nimrod Sidewinder capability, Courtney straps his Nav to a wing pylon to begin a series of new strafing trials :cool:

[NutLoose]

Wait until we de-crutch him

[brickhistory]

Budget cuts and single-purpose aircraft meant trials of the C/A-10 inevitable...

[Buster Hyman]

"...But whilst I agree it's cheap, doesn't that limit the ordinance you can carry?"
"No, not really. We just show him a copy of Playboy & we get an extra Hardpoint anyway."

***

He used to be a farmer from Idaho, so he knows how to plough a field.

[NutLoose]

"It's no good, we are going to have to modify the mounting, it is chaffing my nipples something wicked"

[Buster Hyman]

Retracting the landing gear was easy. Getting the wheel in his trousers was the hard part.

[NutLoose]

"Sorry, no good for the RAF I'm afraid, if we gave them fully automatic rifles we would have to buy more ammo"