Caption competition

[CoffmanStarter]

Sorry chaps ... But Nutty has just been arrested for publishing a highly classified CIA surveillance image on PPRuNe ... Note the three subterranean bore scopes cleverly disguised as flood lights in the background :oh:


Oh ... Hang on ... My door bell has just rung :eek:

[brickhistory]

And I'll have the Number 10 to go....

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

With the generosity for which he is famed, the Supreme Leader announces that this year's Cup Winners may eat the grass!

[Buster Hyman]

Dong tries to restrain himself from biting the hand that 'feeds' him...

[CoffmanStarter]

Glorious Leader with Manchester United having just agreed a £750million sponsorship deal with Adidas ... is there any chance the NK Tractor Cooperative could do likewise :}

[squeaker]

Liverpool FC once again demonstrate how to waste bumper transfer windfall cash on someone almost as bad as Andy Carroll.

[NutLoose]

It seems to be easing off, so scoring on the morrow :) last call folks..

[Surplus]

No, I've never heard of Norah Batty, why do you ask?

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

"Don't I know you?"
"You graciously shot my twin brother last week, Supreme Leader"
"Ah, Yes. I thought I recognised the nose"

[Buster Hyman]

"...good to meet you all. Now, in order to make the next World Cup, meet your new coach, Dennis Rodman"

[Cows getting bigger]

"Did you know that, due to a capitalist Internet forum caption competition, my face gets more internet hits than Kylie?"

[Buster Hyman]

Glorious Leader. I didn't believe it until I saw you, but our new sponsorship with Michelin will take us to great heights for the people of Korea...

[Canadian Break]

"And the crowd went wild".

[NutLoose]

And the winner pulling a head is

Wenslydale with

We will give you a run out for the first 45 minutes and then pull you off at half time".


"Thank you Glorious leader - at my last club they only gave us a piece of orange".

Runners up are

Wander with

So you are a Mason too

Hempy with

Pyongyang FC's latest recruit Luis Suarez pictured shortly before taking his final bite

and finally Coff with

Are those Ballroom Trousers you are wearing Glorious Leader :E

over to you Wenslydale :D

[CoffmanStarter]

Well done Wensley :D

[Wander00]

Congratulations, Wensleydale

[Wensleydale]

Let us raise the tone a little with this....


https://scontent-a-lhr.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/t1.0-9/p320x320/10530775_425298854279067_295390702974964791_n.jpg

[Roadster280]

"Ee look - you can see our 'ouse from up 'ere"

Sorry about the lack of tone raising :)

[Hempy]

The Pictorial History of Al Qaida.

Chapter 1.

[NutLoose]

"That one's the Royal Navy chapel, you can tell it from the air because the roof's bent, a bit like those Navy chaps.."

[Roadster280]

The Fun Police had a long history:

"Following complaints received from the Dean, the practice of "beating up" Lincoln Cathedral is to cease forthwith"

[Buster Hyman]

Cathedral, this is Ghost Rider requesting a fly by...
That's a negative Ghost Rider. The pattern is full.

***

Archbishop: Bloody Papparazzi again!

***

This is ridiculous Franz! Let's go to Sarajevo for some peace & quiet

[CoffmanStarter]

F/L Quasimodo figured that he stood a better chance with Esmeralda if he became a Fighter Jock :E

[CoffmanStarter]

https://scontent-a-lhr.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/t1.0-9/p320x320/10530775_425298854279067_295390702974964791_n.jpg

[CoffmanStarter]

The Bells ! ... The Bells !

[NutLoose]

"Well put the gear down Coff, that'll cancel the bells and prevent you making a fool of yourself when we get to Cranwell"

[NutLoose]

"Bloody hell that was close, I said inspire me ...... not put me in a Spire"



.

[CoffmanStarter]

I say old chap ... don't use the Pee Tube just yet ... they've got enough stained glass as it is :E

[CoffmanStarter]

You wait until I land and have word with that engineer of ours ... there's a nut loose on the undercarriage lever again :suspect:


Honest there is ...

[Boudreaux Bob]

Hoskins, if you don't catch up with the Aeroplane you shall find yourself in a service inside that building!

[NutLoose]

"Angels fifteen..."

[NutLoose]

"keep an eye out, there's normally a Lanc stooging around Lincoln cathedral"

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Court Martial Evidence Exhibit A

..being a photograph of the current CAS flying his Service aircraft at the same height over the Cathedral of which Fg Off Bloggs is accused.....Albeit that without reheat, said CAS did not cause the fire and subsequent destruction of said cathedral, unlike my client - for which he apologises to the Bishop unreservedly"

"...needed an new roof anyway"
"Shut it, Bloggs. They didn't need a whole new f#cking cathedral"

[NutLoose]

"See it works, we've rattled a few roof tiles off, ok set course for the house near Wittering and we'll try again"

[CoffmanStarter]

Bloggs ... When I said letting you go on your first solo would be "on a wing and a prayer" ... I meant it :hmm:

[NutLoose]

"Jack, just because we managed to fly off the bloody chapel roof at Colditz doesn't mean we have to land on one."

[CoffmanStarter]

A Lockheed Martin promotional photograph showing how the F-35 is able to bend reflected light in such a way that any pictures taken of it will confuse the enemy :eek:

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

"I don't care how many times they go up-diddly-up-up...they're still gits"

Captain Edmund Blackadder

[Dan Gerous]

Oh crap, that isn't Lincoln.

[Danny42C]

"Zut alors ! - I know I had a bit of a tailwind crossing La Manche - mais ce n'ést pas le Chateau de Douvres !

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

The Field Marshal's son had been struggling on the Recce phase, so the Boss gave him a target even he couldn't miss......



..and he didn't; impacting 200 foot up the West Tower :E

[Buster Hyman]

Ok, all clear. No more Bats in the Belfry!

***

When you said you were going up in the "old kite", you really meant it didn't you!

[Boudreaux Bob]

Buster seen on his first Solo Cross Country from Biggin Hill to Brighton.

[Buster Hyman]

*Second actually. Montgolfier let me take one of his balloons for a ride once...

[Hempy]

Bleriot on his way to the 1914 Farnborough Airshow after crossing the seas. Forward to 2014...

[Wensleydale]

Second actually. Montgolfier let me take one of his balloons for a ride once...


Were you the sheep, the duck, or the chicken?

[CoffmanStarter]

With only 35 hp and a fixed pitch four-bladed paddle propeller ... What do you mean "Take us out of orbit Mr Sulu" :eek:

[CoffmanStarter]

https://scontent-a-lhr.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/t1.0-9/p320x320/10530775_425298854279067_295390702974964791_n.jpg

[CoffmanStarter]

Oi Froggy ... ATC only cleared you to Dover :ugh:

[CoffmanStarter]

Bloggs ... When I said "Call the Tower" ... I didn't mean you had to get up close and push the bl00dy door bell :ugh:

[Buster Hyman]

TCAS says pull up Ginger!

[Wensleydale]

Judging tonight (Friday).

[Wensleydale]

The results of the international jury are just in.....


The runner up is Coffman Starter with "....on a wing and a prayer..."


but the winner is


Nutloose with "Angels 15".




If anyone is interested, the photograph comes from RAF Waddington's Heritage Centre photo archive and is of a Mr Hucks who was indeed flying between the towers of Lincoln Cathedral just before the start of the Great War. The picture is, of course, from the time before there was an airfield at Waddington - perhaps Lincoln Cathedral should host the air show for 2015?


Over to you, Nutty.

[NutLoose]

Thank you :) as I did the last one, perhaps Coff would like to pop one up :)

[CoffmanStarter]

You are both Gentlemen ... Many thanks :ok:

Here you go chaps :}

http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af162/CoffmanStarter/imagejpg1_zpsc6cd514f.jpg

[NutLoose]

"What do you mean... Sausages?"

[NutLoose]

"When I said get on its tail, I didn't mean try and hump it"

[Rosevidney1]

Bonzo models the Frankenstein Mk I and claims "it's the dogs nuts!"

[NutLoose]

"No one said the first Russian female fighter pilot was pretty, indeed some said she was a right dog"

[NutLoose]

"And remember, when you hear a growl in your headset it's the sidewinder seeking a target, so don't start pissing up the cockpit wall to mark you territory."

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Flying the Boss's pooch was one thing, but only OC 23's hound insisted on being in the front seat......oh, hang on..that IS OC 23!

[Wensleydale]

The pilot had defected from North Korea, because he was worried that he was on the menu.

[Wensleydale]

And the code-word for destroying the dam is "Gibson".

[Wensleydale]

"How was the turbulence?"


"Rough".

[500N]

Don't worry about not being able to see in that helmet,
most engagements are BVR.

[Roadster280]

See this sign here that says "Danger - Ejection Seat"? Well just you think on, the next time you feel the urge to **** on the carpet.

[CoffmanStarter]

http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af162/CoffmanStarter/imagejpg1_zpsc6cd514f.jpg

[Buster Hyman]

No, no...that's not what I meant by screw the Pooch.

***

It was a dog fight you say?

***

No, I don't there are any fire hydrants in Mig Alley.

***

Oh, I know what you mean. After every mission, we're all looking for a little Pussy!

***

Ok Rex. Next time you want to sort out the Neighbours cat, just chase him like all the other dogs!

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

How many hours have you got on Meteors, Rover?
Seven, Sir"
"Right, stick to my heel like glue"

[ShyTorque]

"If you say "I have the lead" one more time, I'll bite your hand off!"

[Surplus]

When you get to the top of climb, let the anti-satellite missile go and that'll be the last we hear of Laika.

............................................................ .......................................

Sorry, Dish-Licker, but the Callsign 'Maverick' has already been taken.

[Roadster280]

I'm going to tell you this just one more time: Strafing cats and rabbits is NOT ON!

[Boudreaux Bob]

Buster explains A-A tactics to his girlfriend prior to her orientation flight.

[Buster Hyman]

Whilst Nutty distracted him, Coffman prepared to choke the life out of the CO! They'd had enough of his lick my own balls party trick in the Officers Mess!

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Uncle Fox3Where'sMyBiscuit DFC, Korea, '52

[Wensleydale]

".... and next time your wing man fires a missile, DON'T chase it and try to bring it back!"

[Wensleydale]

When I told the groundcrew that I was having problems with radio reception, I did NOT say that I needed a new retriever!

[Buster Hyman]

Snoopy finally had the equipment he needed to stick it up the Red Baron once & for all!

[Wensleydale]

Then its home for tea and a Dickin Medal.

[Wensleydale]

And if you see the AWACS, don't try to catch the Frisbee!

[Hempy]

ok, refuel an rearm...and I want the rudder trim tab looked at too, she handles like a bitch

[NutLoose]

"I don't care if he can sniff a bitch in heat out at half a mile Chiefy, it's not the heat seeker I requested"

[Buster Hyman]

Ok, I think we've sorted out the tail wind issue...

[Dan Gerous]

Sly Stallone has a quick word with his stunt double.

[NutLoose]

No...no...no.. Just because it's called a bone dome, you can't chew it.

[Surplus]

'Hurry up and get this baby airborne and this time, no paws for effect!

[Buster Hyman]

Kilroy was here!

[Roadster280]

Ginger just had to have the best in Gun Dogs.

[NoHoverstop]

The Chief of the Air Staff inspects the first of the RAF's new "ROVER enabled" close air-support jets and realises he's been sold a pup.

[Wander00]

Just shows you have to take the wuff with the smooth

[Boudreaux Bob]

Just proves the RAF does not recruit FJ Pilots based upon "Looks"!

[Buster Hyman]

After Beagle 2 failed, Britain tried a different breed.

[dazdaz1]

No No No Rover. Sandy!!!!!! The dog has jizzed on the radio comms. Sandy... "how do you know that" It has a smirk on it's face.

[Hempy]

'Scuse me Bloggs. Sqn Ldr Rex Rover, Royal Air Force. Point me in the way to Inchon like a good chap, I seem to have lost my scent..

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

"We have a dog flying our aircraft?!?"

"Panic not old boy, perfectly sensible; the opposition are all pussies!"

[Wensleydale]

Ich flew in ze war mit his oncle, Focke Wolfe!

[Big Pistons Forever]

Hard deck my ASS, I got you Jester !

[Big Pistons Forever]

The sequel to "Top Gun" chose to cast a more believable actor for the role of "Charlie".

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

"Woof"
"What's that Lassie? The Sovs are flying 4 ships with Hi-Lo pair split, bait & drag BVR?"
"Woof"
"..and you reckon we should just take the high pair first then get the low pair as they recommit?"
"Woof"
"..OK Lassie, sounds good to me"

[Buster Hyman]

For the last time Rex, get something for your worms and remember this is not a tail dragger!

[Hempy]

Chuck Yeagers other chase pilot..

[CoffmanStarter]

http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af162/CoffmanStarter/imagejpg1_zpsc6cd514f.jpg

[CoffmanStarter]

F/O Bonzo you have the attention span of a gnat :}


I know ... I know ... Just could resist that one ...

[NutLoose]

Listen next time I say roll, don't just roll over and pant

[ShyTorque]

"Of course I won the dogfight....I had Winalot for breakfast!"

[squeaker]

That's all well and good, Sir, but there's nothing you can teach me about dogfighting.

[superq7]

That new pilots a bit of a wag isn't he ?

[CoffmanStarter]

http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af162/CoffmanStarter/imagejpg1_zpsc6cd514f.jpg

[Danny42C]

"We'll take up a couple of kites after lunch and have a tail-chasing session !"

[brickhistory]

Top Gear Dog was not amused...



*****************************************

Yeah that's impressive, but the Russki's just put a dog into space...

******************************************

Crew chiefs' loved the self-cleaning crop of students...

[ShyTorque]

"Whaddya mean by - If it's dark and foggy when we get back we'll land on FIDO?"

[Arm out the window]

"No, you can lick MY balls any time, Maverick."

[Danny42C]

"Cry "Havoc" - and let slip the dogs of war !"

[CoffmanStarter]

Last orders ... judging tomorrow so we can get a new pic on the go ... and I can play :ok:

[squeaker]

This new Foxhunter radar is not exactly what I was expecting.

[Boudreaux Bob]

I promise you mine is this long....so long as we measure it the same way we do your tail....from the Bunghole out!

[NutLoose]

"And we close the canopy and shhhhhh just like that, two lucky doggy feet to hang on our key bunches.."

"But there supposed to be rabbit feet"

"who'll know?"

[NutLoose]

"Must not pee in the throttlebox...Must not pee in the throttlebox ...Must not pee in the throttlebox.....ahhhhhhhhhh"

[Buster Hyman]

...and that's Doggy style in the Navy!

[Martin the Martian]

'Listen, when I see you lick your balls, human, that's when you can give me advice on how to fly!"

[CoffmanStarter]

Now in Judging Mode ... back shortly with the results :ooh:

[CoffmanStarter]

Well done everyone ... a most impressive set of submissions :D:D:D:D

Here are the Dogs Doodahs ...

3rd Place and winning a years supply of Worming Tablets ...

Of course I won the dogfight....I had Winalot for breakfast!

2nd Place and winning a Rear End Gland Expressing with Rubber Gloves ...

Just proves the RAF does not recruit FJ Pilots based upon "Looks"!

1st Place and promotion to Chief Stud Dog ...

Flying the Boss's pooch was one thing, but only OC 23's hound insisted on being in the front seat......oh, hang on..that IS OC 23!

You are clear to ENGAGE Fox3 ... Switches definitely not to "SAFE" please :}

Coff.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

I thank you.
Following the animal theme....bear with me....
http://www.ww2aircraft.net/forum/attachments/stories/240426d1376353854t-squadron-mascots-during-wwi-ii-harry_colebourne_and_winnie.jpg

[NutLoose]

"And one day you will have a strapping Welsh Guardsmans head up your butt."

*****


"What do you mean you'll only drink Hoffmeister"

[Boudreaux Bob]

Fox3's Dad chased a few Bears in his time too!

[Wander00]

I've told you before, savour it, don't just gulp it down

[dazdaz1]

Drink drink more of the vodka, I've not had a woman for three years. Let me guide your paw to Mr Stiffy.:E

[NutLoose]

"Ok the plan is you wander over dead nonchalant like, and then you huff and you puff and you blow the RSM's tent down"

[NutLoose]

"No I must admit, you are the first WRAC I have seen naked"

[CoffmanStarter]

You lot can laugh ... at least it's not a Rock Ape :E

[CoffmanStarter]

Now what's this story about a Bear mooning at one of our RAF F4's ... was it you me young fella me lad :}

[Wensleydale]

I found him via my satnav....it told me "Bear Left".

[Wensleydale]

We knew that the war was serious once Andy Pandy had been called up.

[Danny42C]

This is becoming quite un-bear-able.

[Boudreaux Bob]

I know Bears are related to Pigs but you do not have to Hog the Beer, Mate!

[ShyTorque]

Susan Boyle warms up for her first CSE show.

[CoffmanStarter]

My name is Pooh Bear ... That's why I'm a mascot with the Pongos :E

[Buster Hyman]

Ah! No! Drink first, then touchy, feely!

[CoffmanStarter]

If you go down to the woods today ... you'll be in for a big surprise ... Yeh a bunch of drunken Bears :*

[Wensleydale]

He's joined the Cub Scouts.

[Wensleydale]

The recruiting officer was well known for his bear-faced lies!

[Danny42C]

"Sir, the wonder is not that the bear dances well, but that he dances at all" (Samuel Johnson)


or


"Careful with those claws !"

[Surplus]

'That's a funny monkey you've got on the rope.'

'It's not a monkey, it's a bear'

'Shut up you, I was talking to the bear.'

[Buster Hyman]

The Welsh Regiment.

***

Bear Grylls during his recruitment.

***

Um...You do realise that the bear I wanted you to get was a Tu-95 don't you?

[CoffmanStarter]

http://www.ww2aircraft.net/forum/attachments/stories/240426d1376353854t-squadron-mascots-during-wwi-ii-harry_colebourne_and_winnie.jpg

[Hempy]

Major Harry Colebourn DSO, MC and Bear.

[Martin the Martian]

The Browns got so fed up with Paddington's clumsiness that they eventually sold him to the army for a surplus Land Rover and a lifetime subscription to Soldier magazine.

-----

Once Paddington tasted beer he soon forgot all about marmalade sandwiches.

[ROTORTREE]

You'll all be humming after this!!!:E

Look for the beer necessities
The simple bear necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the beer necessities
That's why a bear can rest at ease
With just the beer necessities of life

The beer necessities of life will come to you
They'll come to you!

[Vitesse]

It occurred to Winnie the Pooh that the phrase 'I Want You' might have more than one meaning.

[brickhistory]

Outtakes from 'Jack Link's "Messin' with Sasquatch"' commercials...*













*Apologies if this is too local. A beef (ahem) jerky company has a series of ads with this theme here in the States.

[thing]

Lt Chumley-Warner knew how to treat his rigger.


Warwick Davis' grandfather trials the prototype Ewok suit.

[Buster Hyman]

The photographer decided to make the Bear & Soldier photo...a little less in-tents....

Thank you, thank you! I'm here 'til Thursday, try the Veal!

[CoffmanStarter]

Basil, Basil !!!

Veal substitute ...

[NutLoose]

"Here have a beer, it's the bear necessities of life."

[squeaker]

That's it Bruno, eat up, a nice, juicy steak doused in the RSM's aftershave.
Might be some more in that tent over there..

[Wensleydale]

...now drink another bottle of beer and stagger off to Mr Roosevelt who is over there, holding the rifle.

[Wensleydale]

Why do they call Army officers "Ruperts"?

[Surplus]

After all the beer, Lt Bromhead was hoping to feel a little grizzly tonight.

[Danny42C]

"I may be of Very Little Brain, but I'm drinking the beer and you're not !"

[racedo]

Serious Q.......................Where is photo from ?

[superq7]

^^^^^^ Coffman's stash of 'bare' pics :ooh:

[Buster Hyman]

Scottish weightlifter (fly weight class) has a quick Red Bull in the athletes village prior to competing.

[CoffmanStarter]

^^^^^^ Coffman's stash of 'bare' pics

How very dare you ... It's Fox3's stash ... Probably left over from his time on QRA :E

I was just being a good citizen in bringing the pic forward :ooh:

[Wander00]

Reminds me of the day a bag was left unattended in the Mess at Binbrook. Paul (OC Arm Eng's) wheelbarrow called out and bag shotgunned - walls covered in yogurt and ?Sqn's porn mag stock, in shreds!

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Judgement Day
I had to leave it till Friday as Buster said he wouldn't be here, for reasons which will become obvious

A special mention to Dazdaz1
Drink drink more of the vodka, I've not had a woman for three years. Let me guide your paw to Mr Stiffy.
You are a sick man!

Third
"Ok the plan is you wander over dead nonchalant like, and then you huff and you puff and you blow the RSM's tent down"

Second
"No I must admit, you are the first WRAC I have seen naked"

Winner
And one day you will have a strapping Welsh Guardsman's head up your butt.

Will the real Nutloose please stand up! On top form this week.:ok:

The bear is the original Winnie, named by Major Harry Colebourn (as Hempy knew) after his hometown of Winnipeg, base for the Fort Garry Horse. He was left at London Zoo when Major Colebourn went off to the Western Front; donated after the war on his return as he had become so popular, and was the bear on which Winnie the Pooh was based by AA Milne.

[NutLoose]

Thanks I am going to hand the reins over to Vitese as I gauzumped his first win when he was away, so I promised him my next win.... I have given him until tonight to hopefully pop one up.

I am flattered 1st, 2nd and 3rd, :O what can I say....... EAT THAT BUSTER :p

[dazdaz1]

Fox3...Does that mean I've come fourth?

[Buster Hyman]

Meh...overrated...:p:p:p

:D well done Nutty :D

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

dazdaz1 - Yes mate.
Remember, Blackadder goes Fourth; you're in good company!

[CoffmanStarter]

Well played Nutty ... Good pic Fox3 :D:D:D:D

PS. the 'Original' Pooh Bridge is but 20 mins from where I live here in a East Sussex :ok:

http://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/2105205

[NutLoose]

If vitrese does not put a picture up tonight I'll pass the baton to Dazdaz and let him have a go :)


Coff do you throw Busters off the bridge and see if they come out the other side?

[CoffmanStarter]

Nah ... Busters be sinkers :E

[Vitesse]

Hang on chaps, just struggling with a scanner...

PS Thanks Nutloose.

[Vitesse]

http://i186.photobucket.com/albums/x127/vitesse2l/CapComp_zps2d2748b1.jpg

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

'ere skipper, there's two legs to go..d'ya really think a fourth glass of wine is a good idea?

Pas de problème, old chap; done a French exchange tour, I have.


............................................................ ..

Rancid cheese, retsina and roast goat......beats pay-as-you-dine any day!

[NutLoose]

"So Beag's, one hear's you have been posted onto VC10"

[NutLoose]

"You know that Jag mate we overtook will never live it down "

[NutLoose]

"And one day they'll have inflight catering, I kid you not"

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

You forgot the Earl Grey ??
How on Earth do you think we can maintain the greatest Empire the World has ever seen without Earl Grey tea?

Scoggins!, my Webley please.

[Arm out the window]

"Best relieve yourselves out here, boys, otherwise in flight you'll be using those pith helmets."

[Buster Hyman]

Come on chaps, one of you has got to fly it!

***

Truly? None of you have seen Flight of the Phoenix?

***

Okay, it's been half an hour. Bloggs, go an check if the smell has cleared.

[brickhistory]

Capt Jack Sparrow's hat lives on...

[Big Pistons Forever]

OHMS in the good old days :ok:

[Big Pistons Forever]

The last words from the squadron commander

And chaps I expect the highest standards of dress and deportment from everyone while deployed !

[Wensleydale]

They say that you can convert this into a maritime patrol aircraft.

[CoffmanStarter]

http://i186.photobucket.com/albums/x127/vitesse2l/CapComp_zps2d2748b1.jpg

[CoffmanStarter]

Smithers ... When you said you could fix us up with dates ... We all had something else in mind :E

[CoffmanStarter]

Remember chaps when we cross the Nile ... a quick change please in to No: 5's with Fez :}

[ShyTorque]

Guess who's had the pith taken out of his helmet!

[MPN11]

Brize Norton - the early years of waiting ... and waiting ...

[Wander00]

Now this PFI will give greater operational flexibility, couple with a reduction in costs, and we can lease them to the civvies when there is nothing better to do - bags the first trip to Ibiza...............

[NutLoose]

"And as you can see it will be ideal for the Italian Airforce, we have left an opening at the rear of the cowls so you can fit an extra prop to reverse out of any trouble"

[Hempy]

Look skipper, I know 50 quid was a great bargain for a stereo, and I know he looked like an honest guy.....but I really don't think he's coming back.

[Vitesse]

Some good ones here!

For extra points can anyone name the type?

It's location is probably a bit tricky, so I'll reveal it's somewhere called Ziza in Jordan.

[Wander00]

HP Hinadai (not sure of spelling)? has it been savaged by the censor, or is it an "ambulance" cut out on top?

[dazdaz1]

Annoyed, annoyed!!!!!! I'm firkin furious!!!!! Who forgot to pack the custard cream bickkies.

"For extra points can anyone name the type?"........ Shorts S with landing gear?

[Stanwell]

Vickers Victoria?


p.s. ...and for an extra point - Engine: Eagle by Rolls Royce.

[Buster Hyman]

I say chaps, whats the time? Looks like some Mad Dogs coming this way?

[Stanwell]

"Well, that's it settled then.
Me and Tex here will have the Stateroom and you chaps can sleep under the wings."

[superq7]

Chap on the left, ' hmm well according to this I Pad '

[Vitesse]

is it an "ambulance" cut out on top?

It looks like a cut out, but you can just see the roundel continues upwards. The original pic isn't much better, but the fus actually just tapers from what you can see.

Stanwell is somewhere near...

[CoffmanStarter]

Then I'll bid ... RAF Vickers 264 Valentia Mk1 ?

[Fantome]

" . . . .. then there was this helluva bang and all this smoke filling the cabin and next thing I hears Flight Lieutenant Jones up the front there yell out at the top of his voice .. . EVACUATE . . . EVACUATE . . .. and blimey ,. .. that's exactly what I did . .. "

[NutLoose]

"Well, who'd 'ave figured it, lost, fifty miles out in the desert wiff a broken prop and who shud turn up but the bloody NAAFI wagon"

[Stanwell]

OK then, Coff's gone for the Valentia - so as a second guess, how about a Vickers Vernon with Napier Lions.

[Vitesse]

And Stanwell has it. I have no idea of the engines, though.

[NutLoose]

"I say Ginger, love your biscuits"


Or the RN version..

"I say Hobbs love your kno....."

[Danny42C]

"This texting thing is more trouble than it's worth - hope it never gets invented"

[ShyTorque]

Chap on extreme left: "I say, chaps - did someone forget to put the bromide in the tea? One is feeling rather...... "energetic" tonight!" :E

[Big Pistons Forever]

I should have know better than to believe the Maintenance Officer:hmm:

"And best of all there will be all the necessaries fitted up for you at your new base in Jordan !"

[Big Pistons Forever]

Well at least the lads got their cuppa in before all those angry natives at the edge of the airfield started shooting at them.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Should we let the Soldiers out of the Aeroplane, Sargent ?

Nah, it's so nice and peaceful out here, they will just ruin the mood

[Buster Hyman]

So Lawrence says "Reinforce King Feisal and support his occupation of Palestine" and I says, "Nah, were off duty soon, and what could possibly go wrong in that part of the world?"

[NutLoose]

"Afghanistan, what a flea pit, thank God Prime Minister Macdonald has seen the light and we are leaving and not coming back"

[Wensleydale]

This is not what I expected when the Boss asked for a volunteer to bounce onto the expansive areas of Jordan!

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

"Typical, just typical. Of all the Sheikdoms we have to get Jordan, whose ruler went to Sandhurst. So it's compo in the bundu 'for old times' sake' instead of a 78 course feast and free Rolexes."

[NutLoose]

"Hey guys, some of the local Arabs look like they're starving, pass me those pork sandwiches we have left over and I'll hand them out"

[Danny42C]

"Is this all we get as the Unexpired Portion of the Day's Rations ?"

[NutLoose]

"Bloody Arabs, these are well past their sell by dates, next time we'll buy the raisins"



.

[Fantome]

c'mon lads. . cheer up . .. .how about a snatch...of topical song.. a bit of good old Abdul el bulbul emir .. . . the settings alright . . init? . . . watch my beat. . .. . here goes . . .


the harems of Egypt were fair to behold
all filled with the fairest of fair
but the fairest by far
was a fabulous Greek
owned by a sheik
one Abdul el bulbul emir


A traveling brothel came into the town
Run by a pimp from afar
Whose great reputation
Had traveled the nation:
'Twas Ivan Skavinsky Skavar!

Abdul el Bulbul arrived with his bride
A prize whose eyes shone like the stars
He claimed he could prong
More cuxxxs with his dong
Than Ivan Skavinsky Skavar!

[Danny42C]

I can only add:

"But the bravest by far,
In the ranks of the Czar,
Was Abdul, the Bul-Bul Emir !"

Any more, anyone ?

[CoffmanStarter]

Must-af-a Nut Loose ... We'll tighten it then :}

[Danny42C]

"Yes, I know it's only a cut 'n shut job, but she flies all right just the same !"

[NutLoose]

"Bloody Coffman Starter's filled with blanks again"

[CoffmanStarter]

http://i186.photobucket.com/albums/x127/vitesse2l/CapComp_zps2d2748b1.jpg

[CoffmanStarter]

Listen to that chaps ... it must be Egypt ... with all those tooting car men :}



I thank you ...

[ValMORNA]

Danny,


It's all here . . .


"Abdul El Bulbul, Emir!" Song Lyrics and Music Score (http://www.horntip.com/html/songs_sorted_by_name/with_music/a/abdul_el-bulbul_emir/abdul_el-bulbul_emir.htm)

[NutLoose]

I know bringing the Thunderbox with us was a good idea, but you could take it and use it over the nearest sand dune.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

" Have you tipped out the pee can you used in flight yet, Smithers?"

"Couldn't find the can in the end Skipper, so I used an empty wine bottle - I corked it so it wouldn't spill, but now I can't find that, neither......... Sir? You all right, Sir? You've gone a very funny colour....."

[Danny42C]

"I should shift that plate chum, or the ants will do it for you !"

[Boudreaux Bob]

The Officers Sit Down Strike was going very well.....except no one had noticed the difference.

[Surplus]

As soon as this fog lifts, we're off.

[Buster Hyman]

"Ok, ok...right! I call to order the meeting of the Peoples Font of Judea"
"I thought we were the Popular Judean Front?"

[TyroPicard]

Once we're airborne we can wave our mugs at the photographer, it's bound to be a hit....
Loose leaf in the sky with diamonds......

[Wensleydale]

"Once we're airborne we can wave our mugs at the photographer, it's bound to be a hit....
Loose leaf in the sky with diamonds...... "


For the benefit of rickety Kite (or the pilot, Sgt Pepper).

[622]

Right, I make it 2014..I don't think they are coming to rescue us Sir!

[simon brown]

"If Hardy Kruger was here, we'd have re built this thing and flown out by now!"

[Hempy]

"...and that was the first time I ever ran out of fuel.

Then there was the time in '23 into Khartoum..."

[Dan Gerous]

Nav, nip up the nose and do a bacon and egg fry up, on the anti dazzle panel.

[Buster Hyman]

The anti-flash paint was a good idea...a bit premature, but good nonetheless.

[Surplus]

I still think we should be towing the target further back.

[Big Pistons Forever]

You know you have been here too long when the Camel stew starts tasting good...

[Big Pistons Forever]

And to think I actually believed the recruiter when he said

"You'll get to fly fighters during the day and enjoy a nice scotch at the mess every night"

[NutLoose]

"And then this damned officious chappie came up to me and said where is your safety tabbard"

"So what did you do then?"

Why I shot the blighter, we can't have these damn jobsworths cluttering up the Empire, how would we ever get anything done... what!"

[Boudreaux Bob]

"Join the RAF me old Dad said, You don't want to find yourself posted to some horrible sandy place wearing Khaki now do you, he said!".

[NutLoose]

"When they said Fly with the RAF, I thought they meant in an aircraft not surrounded by bloody bluebottles."

[Hydromet]

You know you have been here too long when the Camel starts looking good...

[Vitesse]

I will go through the thread later and post the winner.

Some real crackers so far.

[Boudreaux Bob]

"We could have been on our way out of here if Smithers had not let the Ali Baba's nick the Engine!"

[Vitesse]

Thanks gents,

Norman McMillan, the distinguished pilot and author from whose book I lifted the pic ( my copy inscribed Xmas 1937) might have been tickled by the entries.

Hon. mention to Surplus

"I still think we should be towing the target further back"

3rd Big Pistons Forever

"And best of all there will be all the necessaries fitted out for you at your new base in Jordan"

2nd Buster Hyman

"Come on chaps, one of you has got to fly it."

1st 622 (who reminded me of a film from years ago)

"Right, Sir. I make it 2014. I don't think they are coming to rescue us"

Congrats 622, pm on it's way. Thanks for all the entries!

PS any errors in this post entirely due to cut and paste by pen and paper.