Caption competition

[Buster Hyman]

"No...this isn't the start of a Benny Hill sketch!"

[Danny42C]

"Marvellous what you can do with a Nissen hut !"

[NutLoose]

http://i1142.photobucket.com/albums/n608/PingDit/style-in-the-aisle.jpg


"They had to film this in back and white as colour would have burnt your eyes out"

[NutLoose]

"It's my anti radiation suit, look at Cecil over there, not a mark on his suit when he went outside, mind you his skin scorched a bit"

[Danny42C]

The Good Old Days !

[Wander00]

The weekly meeting of Stepford WI

[Wensleydale]

The problem with this new design of cabin is the outside toilet!

[Buster Hyman]

The inaugural flight of the short lived Swingers Air.

[Danny42C]

"And you don't have to lift a finger for yourselves between Victoria Air Terminal and Aerogare des Invalides !"

[Pontius Navigator]

Bee Bong, "This is Captain Speaking, we are just approaching turbulence, please hold on tight to anything you can"

[pasta]

Who on Earth thought of using air travel to advertise tea? Ridiculous idea; might aswell use a bunch of chimps...

[Buster Hyman]

Well, wearing this took a lot of convincing but I steadfastly refused to wear Coco the Clowns make up as well

[MPN11]

... And once you've finished your tea, this afternoon's in-flight entertainment will be a game of "Twister"


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twister_(game)

[clareprop]

'Why am I laughing?
'Because before we left, one of the engineers said there were plans to put another 40 seats in here...!'

[Danny42C]

"Well, we thought it would be a good idea to pep up our advertising, so we employed this image consultant........:eek:.!"

[MPN11]

Upper Deck? Nah, it's full of chavs and weirdos. Economy is fine.

[NutLoose]

"And if you hear the theme from the Thunderbirds, hold on, as your seat will tip backwards and eject you down a chute to the aircraft"


http://i1142.photobucket.com/albums/n608/PingDit/style-in-the-aisle.jpg

[Buster Hyman]

"Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen. As you can see we've started our approach to Space Station V so please return your trays to the upright position & pass your Zero G Tea to the Cabin crew"

[MPN11]

"Oh, no problem. And what is madam considering doing this evening? Are you free?"

[Hempy]

^To wit

'Why yes Mrs Slocombe, Humphries has developed a nice tan. Captain Peacock says he's trying out the 'Continental look''

[Buster Hyman]

Rooting the Pilots? Good Lord no! That'll be Rodger over there.

[PingDit]

Time for a new one me thinks! Had a good chuckle over quite a few and so,

In 3rd place we have Danny42C with:
.........and then you woke up - with a barrel of lard on one side and a howling infant on the other !

In 2nd:
DanGerous with:
Steward to Pax, "Yeh her uniform is hideous, but at least she doesn't have to get Blacked up"

In 1st place and this weeks winner:
WeeJeem with:
Yes maam - the orchestra will be striking up shortly, and then Captain Handley shall arrive for the first dance.

Well done WeeJeem, take it away!
PM sent to WeeJeem.

[Stanwell]

Well done, WeeJeem.
That caption got my prize, too. :ok:

[CoffmanStarter]

Well done WeeJeem :D:D:D:D

[Wander00]

Nice one WJ

[Danny42C]

Masterly, WeeJeem !

[MPN11]

I have decided I'm decidedly cr@p at this game!! :)

Well done WJ ;)

[Buster Hyman]

I have decided I'm decidedly cr@p at this game!! :)

Well done WJ ;)
Remember, it's not about winning... Just ask Nutty!

http://images.yuku.com/image/gif/c3c2611178a1122e2e5e830bfa7eb8f04b0e1e28_t.gif

[Danny42C]

MPN11,

Well, "you can't win 'em all", I suppose (but mine was much better IMHO ! :{

We wuz robbed !

Danny.

[WeeJeem]

Thank you kindly, good sirs - new pic on its way :8

[NutLoose]

Well done WeeJem :D:D:D:D

Buster, can you remember the last time you won? I will have to look back through the archives for you to find out :p

[WeeJeem]

:E

http://i.imgur.com/FSFzv54.jpg

[NutLoose]

We had that one not long ago WeeJem. :)

[Stanwell]

Yes, and they're STILL waiting for someone to switch the hair dryers on.

[Buster Hyman]

Sure Nutty, I remember. It was definitely after this pic was last used!

[Wensleydale]

I'm sure that I left my thong hanging somewhere around here!

[WeeJeem]

oh, sorry - my bad! here we go :-)

http://i.imgur.com/5Ov6xDG.jpg

[Buster Hyman]

He always considered himself a crack shot!

[Buster Hyman]

Give it a rest Nutty, I'm about to take a shot!

[Buster Hyman]

Lets be honest...you've seen me in worse positions....

[MPN11]

"Not now, Dave ... I'm busy."

[Wensleydale]

John was re-thinking his stance on Women being allowed to join the infantry.

[Wensleydale]

No - I said 'Cock, Hook and Look'....not 'suck'.

[CoffmanStarter]

Yes the rifle is recoilless ... Shame you ar$e isn't :E

[Danny42C]

"I told you not to eat all those beans at breakfast !"

[Danny42C]

"No. no, Officer - it's not what you might think, I assure you !"

[Arm out the window]

"What did you do in the war, Dad?"
"I don't like to talk about it, son."

[andytug]

The new Bren gun stand and portable cycle rack - now available from stores!

[JAVELINBOY]

I'm going to let one go in a second, so am I and its going to be lethal after compo rations for breakfast

[Wander00]

I thought all the mock wooden rifles were going to the Home Guard




Not how I saw Twister played on that American video

[Danny42C]

"Now I know how that ruddy camel felt when they put that last straw on his back - only it ain't no straw !"

[Danny42C]

"You can take this buddy-buddy business a shade too far !"

[cattletruck]

Turns out the new range finder was just another bum steer.

[Buster Hyman]

Oh yeah, you think I can't hit you with the rifle? Well, prepare yourself for my grenade launcher!!!

[Danny42C]

"Get on with it, and fire the bl00dy thing - the suspense is killing me !"

[Danny42C]

"I reckon this is a Cruel or Unusual Punishment - shouldn't be allowed !"

[CoffmanStarter]

When the pongoes ... I'll take aim :}

[Stanwell]

Being a former Naval man, Smithers adopted the traditional position for .. "Incoming!".

[Wander00]

In my day, Smith, it was prohibited, now it is positively encouraged

[Wander00]

Jones , can't you get anything right. When the bomb goes of you stick your head between your legs and kiss your arse goodbye

[ShyTorque]

"Cor, firing this thing really gets me excited!..."

"Yes, so I hear!"

[andytug]

"Watch where you put yourself or this really could go off half-cocked! "

[Hempy]

I thought you said you had an 18 inch barrel..

[NutLoose]

Long deep breaths and breath, be at one with the shooter.....pwwwarrp

[Hempy]

I guess this is no time to mention the RAF Rgt..

[andytug]

"Apparently this position is the best for clearing a stoppage...."

[Pontius Navigator]

Adopt the position

[CoffmanStarter]

My misunderstanding Sarge ... I thought you said I 'couldn't shoot through the eye of a needle' :ooh:

[Arm out the window]

My smarty-pants brothers both joined the air force, one as a wheel chock and one as an NDB ident, but this'll really show them I've got what it takes too!

[NutLoose]

The Army shows off their crack shot.

[Danny42C]

"I suppose it's all right between consenting adults in private"

[Danny42C]

"Wouldn't it be simpler just to buy a rabbit from the butcher's ?"

[Danny42C]

"Gives a whole new meaning to: 'Get stuck in !' "

[Danny42C]

"Chuck a bucket of water over them !"

[Surplus]

With Mythbusters down to just the two of them, they had to try and solve more than one myth simultaneously.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Crackshot my a%se!!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

"Biped, rifle, for the supporting of." How one simple typo changed the careers of thousands of soldiers.

[PingDit]

"No Smiff, it's not because I don't like you, it's because if the movement in those trees that we saw turns out to be baboons, your ar5e should scare 'em orf!"

[Buster Hyman]

The Army shows off their crack shot.
No prizes for second Nutty.

[Buster Hyman]

I'm just cannot bear to think of what they thought when I asked for a Tripod.

[Stanwell]

Yes Major, it's a new spectacular we've developed for the forthcoming Tattoo.
We'd noticed that the Air Force's 'dump and burn' routine has proven popular with the spectators and so...

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

"Defence Force Jobs"
The ones they don't put in the shiny brochures.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

"Join the Army they said.......see the world they said....."

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Voices of opposing enemy troops:
"Men, don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes!"
"Umm Sir, what colour was that supposed to be again?"

[andytug]

"If he shoots I'll see the white of his eye all right !"

[NutLoose]

"Look the Sarge said I had to bring you along as my assistant and to try to f&ck some sense into you, so that's what I am doing"

[NutLoose]

" I can definitely hear tunnelling Mr Mainwaring"

[andytug]

"No - I ordered *harassing fire* not hairy - a$$ed fire!"

[andytug]

"Well, either he's shooting for the moon or shooting for Uranus!"

[Pontius Navigator]

"Biped, rifle, for the supporting of." How one simple typo changed the careers of thousands of soldiers.
Very subtle :)

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Pontius :ok:

[Danny42C]

"For F###'s Sake, take a shot ! - I want to scratch my bum !"

[PingDit]

"Sarge.... About that 'See the world, lap-of-luxury' thing..."

[NutLoose]

"I said i'm handy with a Glock... not a......"

[Danny42C]

♫..."Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run ! "...♫

[Hempy]

"Right. Three rounds, rapid fire. I want to see centre ring"

[CoffmanStarter]

Humm ... Browning ?

[Wensleydale]

He thought that the sergeant had told him that in order to pass the test he needed a good groupie.

[Dan Gerous]

When they said my job was mainly a support role...




OK, who's the court martial fodder who put the Skids "Into The Valley" on the PA system

[Pontius Navigator]

After this I'll be the butt of all jokes

[Pontius Navigator]

The gas relief valve is at the end of the barrel housing.

[Pontius Navigator]

These new rim fire rounds are really cheeky

[Buster Hyman]

What did you do during the war Daddy?

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

With the Defence cutbacks, we couldn't afford the spotter scopes, so we had to find something useful for the sniper team no. 2's to do.

[Danny42C]

PN (your #35795),
...After this I'll be the butt of all jokes...
Like it !...:ok:

D.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

'Ere Nobby, what did you have for breakfast?
Beans on toast. Why?
Just have to allow for the windage, that's all.

[Pontius Navigator]

What did you do during the war Daddy?
Nice try, already done

[Pontius Navigator]

"What did you do in the war, Dad?"
"I don't like to talk about it, son."
Like this here

[Buster Hyman]

Like this here
Ah yes, but I used Daddy...huge difference...:p

Okay, okay...I have Nutty syndrome. There, I said it!

[PingDit]

"Action packed holidays my ar5e.... wait until I get onto Trip Advisor..."

[Pontius Navigator]

Sorry, went base over apex

[Buster Hyman]

Cheers mate. Everything I had was too big to get that wax out of my ear...

[andytug]

"No, I said get down on your knees and fire the Schmeisser!"

[Wensleydale]

Setting a match to a fart is for wimps - real men do it with tracer!

[Hempy]

"I have no live rounds or range produce in my possession, Sah!"

[Pontius Navigator]

I meant pull the cocking lever not lever my f^ck cock.

[Dan Gerous]

No I won't pull your finger, just pull the effing trigger!

[Danny42C]

"Stop it - you're tickling me !"

[WeeJeem]

OK, I think we've pretty much bottomed out on this, so last change to let one go - I'll pick off a winner in a wee while! :p


Thought For The Day
_Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, but
_give a man a bank and he can rob the world.

[Danny42C]

"Much more of this, and we'll have to get married !"

[Pontius Navigator]

They'll think you're praying

[Buster Hyman]

Is it 32 to the left or 32 to the right???

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

In times of war, men are often forced to do terrible things........

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

When Pvt. Smith was subsequently wounded by the enemy's counterfire, surgeons could not locate the entry wound.

[PDR1]

Thought For The Day
_Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, but
_give a man a bank and he can rob the world.


I prefer:

Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day.
Give him a fishing rod and you'll feed him for a decade.
Give him a credit card and you'll get 78.8% of his accumulating debt as income for the rest of his life...

PDR

[Danny42C]

Is it a Tableau Vivant of Yin and Yang to entertain the troops ?

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/17/Yin_yang.svg/260px-Yin_yang.svg.png (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Yin_yang.svg)

[NutLoose]

"And he is doubly useful, when you clear your weapon, you have an ideal hole to fire off the action into"

[WeeJeem]

As ever, lot of very funny answers, so well done all - had me laughing right up to the biter end. :E

Now that we all know our top receivers from our bottom receivers, we can confirm Honourable Discharges from Wensleydale and Buster for
No - I said 'Cock, Hook and Look'....not 'suck'.
and
Lets be honest...you've seen me in worse positions....

The winner, putting it right up auntie, is - err, stby 1, err was, repeat was - going to be Traffic with
"Biped, rifle, for the supporting of." How one simple typo changed the careers of thousands of soldiers.
until Danny's extra-time snapshot had me spraying coffee into my keyboard with
Is it a Tableau Vivant of Yin and Yang to entertain the troops ?

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/17/Yin_yang.svg/260px-Yin_yang.svg.png (https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/17/Yin_yang.svg/260px-Yin_yang.svg.png)


Well played, Danny!!! You have control :ok:


Wife: "Is that an 'o' or an 'i', dear?" (pointing at letter she's reading)
Husband: "It's an 'o', dear."
Wife: "Oh, my God! My brother's shot himself!"

[CoffmanStarter]

Well played Danny :D:D:D:D

[Wander00]

Good one Danny

[Danny42C]

With fond recollections of Indian Railways (as they were seventy years ago !), I offer you this for your delectation............

ahttp://www.piyu.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Gujarat-Airline-funny-plane-photo.jpg


Danny.

[Pontius Navigator]

In typical fashion someone always gets caught short before the seat belt sign is off

[MPN11]

RyanAir's Lawyers are tasked with finding more loopholes in EU and Aviation legislation

[Stanwell]

Gujarat Airlines have the honour to announce their new, upstairs, Bidi lounge which also features flexible seating arrangements (except in peak periods).
Those who book within the next 30 days will be provided with a complimentary ashtray.

[Dan Gerous]

Remember to be ducking when we get to Tower Bridge!

[andytug]

"Upstairs cocktail bar with powerful air conditioning"

[CoffmanStarter]

Ding Ding ... Hold tight please !

[c52]

"... while on the upper deck, emergency exits are provided at row 1, row 2, row 3.... and row 27."

[CoffmanStarter]

I thought we were going to sit on an elephant to go tigger spotting Carruthers old chap :eek:

[Coochycool]

"Shouldnt we be downstairs with the others Rajiv?"

"No Sanjeed, we dont want the bomb bay flight. We want Lucknow"

[jim's brother]

"As trainee tour-guides on the Gujarat Airlines open-top aeroplane, you must remember that a loud voice is almost as important as your language skills - we have British, French and Germans just behind us and there's a Finn at the back."

[NutLoose]

"And the in cabin gold class comes equipped with warm showers"



..

[NutLoose]

With its low speed and under powered performance, a fitting airline name was derived from an anagram of The "Jaguar T" bird

[jim's brother]

"For your safety, there are two emergency entrances..."

[NutLoose]

Unusually for an airliner the cabbages were situated half way down the fuselage and not in the cockpit.

[jim's brother]

"Yes, the railing is slightly low, but in flight tests it was found to display the clear advantage of keeping the fuselage boundary layer energised above 240 kts."

[ShyTorque]

What was that about "overhead lockers?"

[ShyTorque]

"Woohoo! The stewardess just said that if we remove our seat belts we might get sucked off!"

[jim's brother]

"Check-in said we had an outside chance of getting on this flight."

[jim's brother]

Economy Class, Business Class, First Class, Top Class.

[Buster Hyman]

Was that a bird strike?
Bird, bloke, cabbages, you name it!

[Buster Hyman]

The A380 invisi-deck was not for the faint hearted.

[Buster Hyman]

Are you sure the de-icing was completed?

[jim's brother]

"Seats on the wings were half the price, but I decided we'd get a better view up here."

[jim's brother]

Crunchie tailor their sponsorship to suit the market.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Goodness gracious me, this is the Captain speaking. Please to remain holding on until the aircraft has come to a complete stop.

[Buster Hyman]

Not a lot of confidence in Sully's first flight back on the A320.

[cattletruck]

Poor fella lost all his chooks, and there's nothing he can do about it as it's written in the fine print.

[andytug]

"Gujerati Airlines profit forecast downgraded as flights regularly depart well under capacity"

[Wensleydale]

Utterly Buttery's sponsorship of Gujarat Airways was proving somewhat controversial!

[Wensleydale]

Donald Trump has changed his mind about allowing Muslims to enter the United States, although a couple of the mitigating terms and conditions are still proving controversial.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Have to have a crack at the marketing people. Still looks like half the seats are empty. (Or maybe that was just the en-route turbulence?)

[BossEyed]

My wits are scattered to the winds as usual, so I don't have an entry.

But I thought that those not already aware might want to see this being done for real:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/66162937/humanfly.jpg

[MPN11]

Ah, but that's the spacious First Class cabin.

[WeeJeem]

"Ryanair were rumoured to be particularly interested in the 'only use one wheel at a time' concept."

[NutLoose]

http://www.piyu.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Gujarat-Airline-funny-plane-photo.jpg

[NutLoose]

Are you sure this is the next migrant boat out of Libya?

[NutLoose]

"what's the funny logo on the tail for?"

"Ahh, that's to show it's JATO equipped"

[CoffmanStarter]

AirBus Press Release announcing the development of the A320 Convertible :cool:

[Arm out the window]

"Another regional modification is that it's not 'fly-by-wire', it's 'fly-by-being-hit-with-a- stick-around-the-nose.'"

[Buster Hyman]

Get yer head out of the clouds Sanjit!

[Buster Hyman]

You see, this is why they don't like us flying under Tower Bridge!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Airbus's Sub-Continental Division took a pragmatic view of trying to minimise parasitic drag on their local products.

[Dan Gerous]

I told them we were full up and jokingly said they could sit on the roof. Am I fired? I'll get Mahat Macoat

[SteveCox]

Bloggs had had the curry for lunch again so the pilots had to use the flying bridge to land.

[Pom Pax]

Sky class passengers are advised that air bridges are only available at major airports.

[Danny42C]

Judgment Day 1700 BST tomorrow - will be an agonising choice !

Danny.

[Pontius Navigator]

Gujarat Airlines had a flexible response to late passengers

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Judicious use of heavy braking just after touchdown meant there was never any evidence of the pilot's nice little "cash" earner being apparent when the aircraft reached the gate.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

By not actually letting the passengers inside, Gujarat was the industry leader in cabin catering and cleaning turn around times.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Bolshie Captain to FO: "You mark my words Ranjeet, if those bastards in management could get Airbus to put some controls up there, we'd be sitting out there too!"

[Wander00]

Latest development of the Heyford

[Pom Pax]

No livestock or pets allowed on the promenade deck.

[PingDit]

When check-in discovered that the family surname was O'Leary, it appeared that there was only outside seating available...

[Danny42C]

You've All Done Very Well !

Special Mention to Boss Eyed for an interesting picture (what a CapCom it would make !) but not directly relevant, I think, as a caption to this one:

"My wits are scattered to the winds as usual, so I don't have an entry.
But I thought that those not already aware might want to see this being done for real"

From a Short List of ten, then:

Bringing up the rear with Honourable Mention, in Third Place was

Nutloose with

"Are you sure this is the next migrant boat out of Libya?"


Proxime Accessit

was ShyTorque with the faintly naughty

"Woohoo! The stewardess just said that if we remove our seat belts we might get sucked off !"


But the Victor Ludorum (IMHO) has to be
Traffic_Is_Er_Was with

"Judicious use of heavy braking just after touchdown meant there was never any evidence of the pilot's nice little "cash" earner being apparent when the aircraft reached the gate."


Step forward, Traffic, and receive the Laurel Wreath, with my Congatulations !

Danny...:D

[Pontius Navigator]

Latest development of the Heyford
Presumably the Upper Heyford?

[CoffmanStarter]

Well done Traffic :D:D:D:D

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Thank you gents.

Try this on for size - they did!:
http://img1.gtimg.com/14/1435/143541/14354146_1200x1000_0.jpg

[Buster Hyman]

Pyongyang Disney seemed to miss the mark a little.

[Buster Hyman]

Mickey & Minnie got a little militant in their later years.

[andytug]

New aliens for "Doktor Whu"?

[DirtyProp]

"Stop holding my arm Camilla, I told you I'm not Charles!"
"Did you say something, dear?"

[DirtyProp]

"Bloggs, are you sure this is the latest ATC equipment?"

[DirtyProp]

Rome FCO is finally 8.33 compliant...

[DirtyProp]

"Traffic at 8:00 o'clock! Climb immediately!"
"Hoskins, that's the toilet flush..."

[Wander00]

Which of us is doing what to whom?


The blind leading the partially sighted


Now mind out, here's the kerb

[andytug]

"Comrades! Behold the new perceptual headset!

[Wander00]

PN - very droll - used to be a great pub, the Old Sun at Nether Heyford, had a roaring folk club in the 70s

[Wander00]

In years to come there will be a television - I'll explain later - series called "Dr What"

[Danny42C]

"Why are we wearing these dumme dinge, Rolf ?"........"Because with them we can see the Russkies coming before the others, and so start running first, Gerda !"

[PingDit]

"Ve can hear everything!"
"Now, who was it that just farted?"

[WeeJeem]

"What do you think I should call them?" asked the doctor.
"Beats me." replied Mrs Dre.

[andytug]

:D
"What do you think I should call them?" asked the doctor.
"Beats me." replied Mrs Dre.



Excellent!

[ShyTorque]

"That's right Gladys, with these goggles on they might not recognise us from the last time this photo was in the caption competition."

[Pontius Navigator]

The Blind Landing Experimental Unit, 1939

[Danny42C]

"You may be a Leutnant, Georg - but I can trump that vith my Iron Cross !"

[Danny42C]

"Is it Carnival time again"........"No, mein Liebling"......"Then vat the Hell haf ve got this lot on for ?"

[SASless]

No Martha....I do not see what you are saying!

[PingDit]

"sorry, what did you say?"

[Buster Hyman]

No, when I said the impudent Western Dogs were like Termites, I meant it as a simile...I don't need you to check my walls thank you.

[T28B]

Seventy channels on radio, and not a damned thing worth listening to.

[Surplus]

We think these souvenirs are rubbish, but Walt Disney.

[Stanwell]

Just the thing for bus passengers who really like to share their latest iPod music.

[CoffmanStarter]

'Honk if you feel Horny' :}

[CoffmanStarter]

Given certain culinary tastes ... North Korean scientists look to perfect alternative technology to that of the Labrador Guide Dog ...

[Buster Hyman]

Well, now I know what the VR in VR Headset stands for...Very Ridiculous!

[cattletruck]

Relationship saver 9000.

[vulcanised]

If I fart you'll have a flame thrower.
.

[Wensleydale]

The Blue Angels try out their latest O2 mask-less flying helmet.

[Stitchbitch]

New environmentally friendly alternative to Airseeker developed by North Korea..

[Danny42C]

"....vy did you insist on our getting married in zees fancy dress, Hans ?"........"Zo zat meine Frau vill not recognise ze picture ins Morgenzeitung !..."

[622]

Don't worry about the laughing dear...they are just jealous.

[Wensleydale]

Wills and Kate try on their outfits for Harry's birthday party.

[Danny42C]

"Ruhe ! I zink I hear die Englander starting up across ze Englisch-Kanal"...."Nein, Hermann - das ist nur zat bluebottle das hat just hereinkommen !"

[CoffmanStarter]

We met on Grindr :E

[jim's brother]

Our sophisticated land-based surveillance is massively superior to that provided by aircraft and boats, says UK Border Force Director Aydin Marangoz.

[Danny42C]

"Vas fur ein Fancydresscostum eez zat, Heini ?"........"Ich gehe als die "Fledermaus"...... Kuhl, nicht wahr ?"

[Buster Hyman]

Brexit campaign gets boost as proposed EU Air Force uniforms leaked!

[Danny42C]

"You've already got the "Bunnygirl" ears, Adele. Now how about getting the rest of the kit on ?"

[SASless]

Now we know how Buster snags the Birds he does!

[Pontius Navigator]

"You've already got the "Bunnygirl" ears, Adele. Now how about getting the rest of the kit on ?"
Kit off surely?

[Danny42C]

Bal Masqué ?

[WeeJeem]

There had been a view among some child trauma therapists that
the pilot episode of "Bleep and Booster" needed some reworking.

[Danny42C]

"Dies ist ein Bad Idea, mein Helga"....."Warum ?"....."Weil die Leute chucken all zeir Zigatettenbutten ins mein grossen Earen !

[CoffmanStarter]

Wimbledon Line Judges get ready for the 2016 Tournament :ooh:

[Dan Gerous]

"Does my arse look big in this?"
"No, you just look like an arse!"

[Buster Hyman]

Now we know how Buster snags the Birds he does!
Perhaps, but clearly the image shows the wind up ones Nutty pulls...

[Danny42C]

"We don't really look like this, Kurt - it's just the effect of those pills you've been taking !"

[NutLoose]

Perhaps, but clearly the image shows the wind up ones Nutty pulls...
I think that is unfair, I haven't insulted you............. Yet :p

[NutLoose]

Breast feeding was never the same with the introduction of the Acme mechanical breast feeding apparatus.


..

[Danny42C]

"Never mind, Maria - we'll wake up soon and it will all have been a Bad Dream !"

[andytug]

"NOOT NOOT!!"

[Danny42C]

Stereo ear trumpets are all the rage this year.

[Wensleydale]

The Mk1 fart detector for the use of those suffering from nasal congestion.

[NutLoose]

MK I bogie discharger

[Buster Hyman]

I think that is unfair, I haven't insulted you............. Yet :p
Does the Sun come up in the morning?

[Buster Hyman]

Well, now 3D printing just got stupid!

[PingDit]

"You and your damned allergies Hans! With these new wasp detectors, even our shadows think we look like twats!"

[PingDit]

"...and your sure these new ear-wax removers will work Hans?
...we just have to stand in front of the fire hose?"

[Longhitter]

"Do vee really need zeese to see and hear ze Brexit coming?"