Caption competition

[Danny42C]

"Pigging it !"

[Danny42C]

"Well served, Sir !"

[Danny42C]

"Life is so boaring these says !"

[Danny42C]

"And that, mein Junge, is how it's done !"

[Danny42C]

"Let's run a sweep on the number of piglets !"

[MPN11]

"OK, young Heinrich, have you got the idea now?"
"Ja, but do I really have to get all muddy and sh1tty?"

[Danny42C]

"Hogging it ?"

[Danny42C]

"The wurst comes to the wurst !"

[racedo]

Management training to show officers how to look after their men.

[racedo]

That well know Dish "Pork in Cider"

[DirtyProp]

Boys, these are the latest squadron mascots, Pinky and Perky II
What happened to the previous ones??
Captain said they were delicious!

[c52]

"Why are you all bending down with a gleam of anticipation in your eyes?"

[Ascend Charlie]

"The Pork Hunt!"

[Hydromet]

"Pork Sword calling Danny Boy..."

[andytug]

"Bit late on the pull out again, Hoskins."

[Pontius Navigator]

This Hoskins is a demonstration of our offensive weaponry. The enemy will be so offended that they will run a mile

[Pontius Navigator]

What's his name?

Lion Yorbachusow

[Danny42C]

"He haf means of making you squeal !"

[Danny42C]

"A poke in a pig ?"

[SASless]

Nutty sez...."Aye Mate....sounds like that bar maid from down the Pub!"

Buster sez...."Yes Mate....looks like her too!"

[dazdaz1]

Of course I love you, spread them and think of Tesco

[MPN11]

"It's too personal. Can I admit to being gay now?"


[Not me, one of the Chermans, just for clarity ;)]

[andytug]

"Hey! This isn't what I had in mind when I said I wanted to try a German sausage!"


(said the sow......)

[Buster Hyman]

Don't ask, don't tell!

[SASless]

Looks like some US Army Warrant Officer Helicopter Pilots arguing about Date of Rank!

[Wensleydale]

....and then we build a Jaguar from her ear!

[Wensleydale]

They gave her a suppository beforehand! The vet handed a tube to the AEO and said "Put this in her back end and blow the tablet up the tube."


After much huffing and puffing, the suppository refused to move, so the vet grabbed the tube, turned it round, and blew the tablet straight in.


"Why did you turn it round?" said the AEO.


"Well I wasn't going to blow it after it had been in your mouth"!

[Pontius Navigator]

One staff officer humped another staff officer's back

[Danny42C]

Wasn't "Pig-Sticking" a favourite diversion of Cavalry Regiments in days gone by ?

[Surplus]

If we could only separate them, get them side by side, photograph them from behind, add a couple of external diesels, call it Airlander and people would finally realise that pigs could fly.

[RedhillPhil]

"Forget zer dogfighting, ve are going in fur der pig f***ing".

[c52]

I know you're all hungry, but despite the caption, it takes some months to provide food this way.

[DirtyProp]

Hoskins when I requested "pigs in blankets" I meant......oh, forget it!

[Danny42C]

"Pour a bucket of water over 'em !"

[Danny42C]

"When push comes to shove !"

[Wensleydale]

Intelligence produced a photograph to show what was happening Sausage Side.

[Wander00]

T...p's claim he never touched her disproved by photograph

[MPN11]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/73/18/4c/73184cb4ac0bcbde973ceacba69bd6e2--bacon-funny-funny-images.jpg

If we are going to win the Pig-racing Derby, we are going to need a smaller Jockey.

[DirtyProp]

The first movie adaptation of Animal Farm took a slightly unexpected turn

[Danny42C]

"Ride 'er, Pigboy !"

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

The German High Command review their plans for the Low Countries.

[DirtyProp]

Sarge, what is this shameful display?? I demand an explanation!
Well, the projector is broken and the boys were promised "Debbie does Dallas" so we tried to improvise....

[Pontius Navigator]

Right bit o crackling there.

[Penny Washers]

And some pork stuffing.

[Pontius Navigator]

Porky always loved stuffing and crackling Rosie.

[Danny42C]

Rosie now knew what "pig-iron" meant !

[Danny42C]

Cider with Rosie ?

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Suddenly, Hans realized that when the other chaps had said "You're next!", they weren't thinking what he was thinking.

[DirtyProp]

Hoskins, are you sure?? It doesn't look like a Fock-Wulf to me....

[c52]

"For the purpose of this training exercise, what you see in front of you is a road-traffic accident. You two are the Fire Brigade, you two are the ambulance service, and you two are police officers. Now in your teams, three-two-one: GO."

[treadigraph]

Cider with Rosie ?

In cider Rosie! :ok:

[squeaker]

They were only playing leapfrog

[Buster Hyman]

Last call Chaps & Chapettes! Judging tonight AEST.

[Buster Hyman]

Right...better get in before that last minute rush!!!......

Runners up include...Andytugs;
"For you, ze boar is over!"
And TIEW's;
Suddenly, Hans realized that when the other chaps had said "You're next!", they weren't thinking what he was thinking.
But the CST goes to Wensleydale with the excellent....

The night fighter instructor explains "Wilde-Sau" tactics to his students.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Buster, whatever you do, don't mention the boar!

[Pontius Navigator]

In a pigs ear

Well done WD

[Wensleydale]

Thanks Buster...


here we go again.




http://historynet.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/06/NARA0504007j.jpg

[squeaker]

This red camouflage doesn't work as well as it did in Autumn..

[Danny42C]

"She flies a bit left wing low, Feldwebel - can you do something about it ?" ........ "Sorry, Herr Oberleutnant, but Gefreiter Hoskinic took the bottom left wing off last night to patch up the bullet holes - und der Dummkopf hat to put it back ganz vergessen !"

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Yes sir, of course I believe you, however I vould not be telling anybody else about seeing a small dog flying around on his kennel.

[JAVELINBOY]

When you said you would drop me off at the Mess I rather thought you would be using the Mercedes

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

No one had the courage to tell the formidable, but completely colour blind Von Richtofen that his new "muddy brown" camouflage did not actually match the war torn landscape below.

[SASless]

Feldwebel Schmidt....give me a Camel will you....I don't want to be looking for one while I am flying!

[Surplus]

Honestly Hauptmann, when I said she's an ugly Fokker, I was talking about the aircraft, not your wife.

[Buster Hyman]

No, I did not ask for IFE!

[Buster Hyman]

One more wing Baron & we'll match the F35's performance!

[Buster Hyman]

....but my feet are cold.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Gasp...gargle....gargle!
Sorry Sir?
Gargle....gasp....gargle!!
No sorry sir, afraid I didn't catch it that time either.
Gargle.....feet.....gasp....gargle....scarf!!!
Oh, right sir.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Would sir prefer the chicken or the fish today?

[Buster Hyman]

We've had a look & we can't figure out why it's overweight.
Get off!
....Ahh, yes...sorry...

[Pontius Navigator]

"Ginger", says Biggles,"I told you to hang on like grim death, but not round my neck old boy."

[ShyTorque]

"Aw, C'mon, Boss....just a quick selfie before you go?"

[c52]

Students, having set a world record for the number of people in a Mini, attempt to get a second person into a single-seat fighter.

[andytug]

Look sir, you can turn his head right the way round............. oh hang on, that's owls, isn't it? Bloggs..... hello Bloggs ....?

[Buster Hyman]

Sir, there seems to be a problem. We have a Canadian pilot circling the airfield with an American Beagle on his Kennel, plus some Australians with a machine gun...it might be prudent to sit this one out!

[Danny42C]

"Ve can't go on meeting like this, Hans - people are starting to talk !"

[Ascend Charlie]

"Today, ve vill be haffing target practice. Fritz, you are ze target. Effrybody elze, "X" marks ze schpott!"

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

A technician winds up the mechanism prior to the first live test of a clockwork auto-pilot.

[c52]

Visiting General to Pilot: "Cold, isn't it? Lend me your gloves."

[Danny42C]

"Vy are you hanging onto me like this, man ?" ...... " Well, Sir, I was standing on the wing root and" ..... "And what, man ?" ..... "And it doesn't seem to be there any more, Sir !"

[Danny42C]

"I blame white ants !"

[Dan Gerous]

No, not Red Baron, Red Bull, RED BULL! It gives you wings.

[ShyTorque]

"For ze last time...I do NOT need a navigator!"

[Wensleydale]

Just to say....I will be away from my confuser until Saturday - I will be judging then! (Just to save any confusion if it slows up in a couple of days).

[andytug]

"Get OUT of the cockpit Muttley, I'm chasing the pigeon this time!"

<sniggering>

[Pontius Navigator]

http://historynet.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/06/NARA0504007j.jpg
"I know you love me Corporal Hitler but people are beginning to notice."

"Sorry Oberst Goering, I keep forgetting."

[Penny Washers]

Remember, if the guns jam I have put a lot of snowballs in the cockpit for you to throw.

[squeaker]

I know it looks silly with three little wings, but then we can park the machines closer together..

[Buster Hyman]

I'm excited about this new role you've got for me. What did you call it again? Decoy?

[Buster Hyman]

I'm sorry Sir, but the Kommandant wants his Venetian Blinds back.

[Danny42C]

"If you snag this aircraft just once more, Herr Leutnant, I swear" ......

[c52]

Bureaucrat: "We don't know who's got your left wing, but you've got someone else's right wing stuck on your axle. If you're going to mess around with your equipment like this, please make sure you update the engineering records, or there'll be hell to pay when the auditors come."

[SATCOS WHIPPING BOY]

No matter how many times TCT said it was SOLO, Ewald insisted on tagging along.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Ven ve get over zer target, I will shout "Release zer 'Tallboy!'" Zat's ven you let go.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Dual time on the Dr 1was never popular with the instructors.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Removing the pilot after a sortie was akin to opening a bottle of champagne, often making the same noise.

[SASless]

Yest you are a Hun and you are supposed to be in the Sun ....but this is France in the Winter....not Belize....now get to work!

[Burnt Fishtrousers]

Eindekker Oberleuntnant! you must be joking! give me ze Dreiplane every time. It haz zo many spare vings i could go on to become a Reichsmarschall!

Zis monplane teknology vont ketch on mark my vords

[Danny42C]

"Feldwebel, vy is it that zees verdamnt Fokker only flies in ever-decreasing circles ?" ..... "Weil it is waiting for the circular landplatz to be invented, Herr Goering !"

[squeaker]

His hands frozen to his guns, Herr Baron reluctantly agreed to his Corporal's use of the only hot liquid available.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Coffee, tea, or me.......

[Buster Hyman]

Why so Cross?

[Dan Gerous]

Ja gruppenfuhrer, the snow is a pain, but when we invent the jet engine, we can use it to clear it away.

[Danny42C]

"Vy is it, when Leutnant von Pinkelhaus here brings home a nice sea bass speared on his prop, all you can do is to wipe a wing off in the water ?"

[MPN11]

"OK, so you don't like the Dreidecker. Slip me 10,000 and I'll get you a Fokker D VII."

[Dan Gerous]

With all zeese machine guns Baron, perhaps ve should call it a Spitzfire.

[Wensleydale]

I am Back - and its time to judge.


Honourable mentions to Javelinboy with:
When you said you would drop me off at the Mess I rather thought you would be using the Mercedes


and Buster:
Sir, there seems to be a problem. We have a Canadian pilot circling the airfield with an American Beagle on his Kennel, plus some Australians with a machine gun...it might be prudent to sit this one out!


but Traffic is er Was has produced some belters, of which my favourite (and winner of the CST) is:
Dual time on the Dr 1was never popular with the instructors.


Well done to all!
Over to TieW!!

[MPN11]

<muted applause> :)

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Thank you sir!

On a similar theme:

https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/DE81/production/_86616965_sopwithfuselage.jpg

[JAVELINBOY]

The Shorts brothers prototype airfield runabout for ground crew also carried usable spares.

[Danny42C]

The last of the Brylcreem Boys ?

[Danny42C]

"Never mind, Biggles - you haven't got your wings yet !"

[Danny42C]

"Perhaps if we all got out and pushed, we could get it moving ?"

[Danny42C]

Irresistable Force meets Immovable Mass ?

[Danny42C]

"I think the Wright brothers' design was a better one !"

[Danny42C]

"If I give it the welly, which'll rotate - the Bentley or us ?"

[Danny42C]

Perpetuum immobile ?

[JAVELINBOY]

Turned around the Vickers Gunbus evolved into the Vickers Funbus

[Buster Hyman]

Look, I know this German that has heaps of wings...I'll have a word...

[Buster Hyman]

Too many passengers in this Air Force!

[ValMORNA]

HMS Queen Elizabeth finally gets part of its complement of aircraft on board.

[Wander00]

Did you have to blow the bloody wings off......(Apologies to the "Italian Job")

[Buster Hyman]

Are you sure we're at 88mph????

[JAVELINBOY]

I told you the hanger doors weren't open wide enough

[MPN11]

A small voice said "WHY?"

[MPN11]

"Oh, stuff this. Just get rid of the engine and call it a Link Trainer."

[Pontius Navigator]

https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/DE81/production/_86616965_sopwithfuselage.jpg
The new Link Trainer had superb simulation of wind, noise and vibration, but was manpower intensive for bank, pitch and roll.

[Pontius Navigator]

MPN, apologies, I posted without seeing your post.

Great minds.

[Danny42C]

Many hands make Kite work ?

[Danny42C]

"The wings must still be in the box - Hoskins, you signed for this, go and check !"

[Danny42C]

"I blame white ants !"

[Danny42C]

"We should never have left it in that hangar in Speke the other night !" ..... "Never mind, at least they left the hubcaps on !"

[Danny42C]

"Chocks Away !" ... "They are away, Sir !" ..... "Oh, dear !" ........

[Danny42C]

"I think we've been wheel-clamped !"

[Pontius Navigator]

One small step for man, one . . .

[Pontius Navigator]

I told you it was a mistake to name it Icarus.

[Danny42C]

"Hoskins, you clot - you've still got the parking brake on !"

[Pontius Navigator]

Michael O'Leary experimented with outside standing room only before going to the expense of fitting wings.

[Pontius Navigator]

There were some initial teething problems with just in time procurement

[Danny42C]

"Those damned Sea Cadets we had round here last night have laid out a Kedge Anchor !"

[Dan Gerous]

Warp speed Mr Sulu.

[Danny42C]

"SATCO says thanks very much, but he'd sooner have a Landy !"

[Dan Gerous]

Jeez, could the mess just not have bought a tumble dryer.

[Danny42C]

"We could use it as a crow-scarer - it terrifies me !"

[Danny42C]

"I think a Sopwith Camel is suppose to have come with this - didn't you put in a demand for an airframe, Hoskins ?" ...... "Yes Sir - but all they gave me was this Deficiency Chit .........!"

[Danny42C]

"More than three's a Mutiny !"

[Danny42C]

Steely-eyed FJs practise the Thousand Yard Stare ?

[Danny42C]

"Couldn't we exchange this for a bicycle - that'd be some use !"

[Wensleydale]

After their late night antics in the NAAFI, new recruits practise standing in front of the SWO.

[Big Pistons Forever]

What could possibly go wrong.....

[Big Pistons Forever]

Think bubble over head of the two guys running in the distance at the top of the picture.

I knew giving the fitters the key to quarantine stores was a mistake !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Now we just need some foxes !

[Danny42C]

"Pity we can't give the ATC Cadets any gliding - but this will help them practise their 'Vroom, vroom' !"

[MPN11]

"If we asked the Chermans nicely, perhaps they could lend us some of their wings? They seemed to have lots of them."

[ShyTorque]

It still won't fly chaps...I know - a bigger engine!

[MPN11]

It still won't fly chaps...I know - a bigger engine!

And so Ryanair and easyJet were conceived.

[DirtyProp]

I told you that leaving it in Liverpool was a bad idea!

[DirtyProp]

Alright, rotation accomplished - now what?

[Pontius Navigator]

Nice one DP.

"We should never have left it in that hangar in Speke the other night !" ..... "Never mind, at least they left the hubcaps on !"

That's Liverpool isn't it? ��

[MPN11]

"Yessss ... we've invented air conditioning!"

[andytug]

"A rather expensive way of getting everyone the perfect swept back hairdo, don't you think, Bloggs!"

[Wensleydale]

In the first European Fighter collaboration, the wings were produced by BAE.

[Danny42C]

DP,

Sorry for my unintended plagiarism: Traffic please disqualify my #43829; Thank you, PN, for pointing it out.

♫ ....Maybe it's because I'm a Liverpudlian...♫ ........?

Danny.

[racedo]

Forget the On a wing and a prayer, just pray.

[Buster Hyman]

Stubby little wings, high performance...lets call it the F104!

[DirtyProp]

Danny,
no need to be sorry. Actually I'm the one who should apologize, I didn't see your previous post.


Are we at Vr yet??

[DirtyProp]

The first lesson about CRM didn't go exactly as planned.

[DirtyProp]

That's not the throttle! Well it's ok, keep on holding it....

[Buster Hyman]

It's only fitting that the committee that designed should be included in the first flight!

[Wensleydale]

While learning to play rugby, the Lower Fifth were confused about the need for a scrum to have a prop forward.

[Wensleydale]

All we need now are the three pine-poles, ten yards of rope, and the bucket of radio-active washing up water.

[Penny Washers]

Well, so far so good.

Now, who has got the money for the next issue of "Home Woodworker?"

[DirtyProp]

Ikea submitted their prototype for the new military trainer.
Some assembly required.


Credit to PW for the idea

[Buster Hyman]

Wow. I honestly didn't think we'd make it through that gap!

[Lafyar Cokov]

The Stubbs brothers were first in line to volunteer when it was announced what sort of wings the new aircraft would have..

[Penny Washers]

I don't think that a rubber propeller was such a good idea!

[Buster Hyman]

Wait...who was bringing the Red Bull?

[Buster Hyman]

New brakes work a treat, but they may have highlighted another problem...

[Pontius Navigator]

https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/DE81/production/_86616965_sopwithfuselage.jpg
"Right, just blip the throttle then a bit of left rudder and you'll get it lined up nicely"

"Rudder?"

"B*gg*r, wondered what that missing crate."

[Buster Hyman]

Bertie, why is it you insist on a lift when everyone knows you could keep up with those 4 legs of yours?

[lomapaseo]

Phoneix survivors search in vane for the rest of their aircraft

[DirtyProp]

....and that's how the term "Wingman" came to be.

[Pontius Navigator]

"I know, we'll call the rest navigators"

"No, no, that won't do, no room for a chart table."

"Oh of course Admiral, how about observers then?"

"Yes, splendid, all they do is hang around trying to look important."

[CONSO]

Well Mr R Royce said it needed running boards . . .

[andytug]

No, Bloggs, let me give you a clue, MFI is not the Ministry of Flying Ideas.....

[MPN11]

"I say, chaps, do you think this would look better if we wore uniform?"

[treadigraph]

Wings? The Croatian Air Force fly so low, they don't need no stinking wings!

[MPN11]

"Now, you will notice that as I apply power to this Bentley rotary engine, Scrotum Minor finds himself being lifted to the right ..."

[Pontius Navigator]

And in this configuration excess power over drag means we need an extra 600 lb of ballasting for engine runs

[Wensleydale]

...and once we've mastered this then we can nick Guy Martin's Merlin for a joyride!

[Danny42C]

Wingless Wonder ?

[Wensleydale]

"This is more fun than a narrow-boat!"

[S'land]

All this just because the MOD is too mean to buy a hairdryer!

[Pontius Navigator]

After the first engine run where the massive torque caused the aircraft to roll knocking off wings and tail it was necessary to carry hold down crew.

[MPN11]

With 2 chaps on each running-board, Sopwith's latest concoction became known as the 2-plus-2-Strutter.

[JAVELINBOY]

Ralph Reader admits the inspiration for his Gang Show hit came from the RAF's 'Riding along on the root of a wing'

[Buster Hyman]

It was quickly realised that a crew rest area was needed on board.

[Danny42C]

"C'ést magnifique - mais ce n'ést pas un avion !"

[Danny42C]

Biggles had this strange feeling that something was lacking !

[Danny42C]

"Hoskins, don't you think that it would've been a good idea to remove the picketing ropes before calling 'Chocks away' ?"

[Danny42C]

"It's the new swing wing version, but the hinge pins weren't up to the job !"

[Danny42C]

"Didn't you notice anything unusual on your walk-round, Hoskins ?"

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Judging tomorrow night. I have in mind a winner, let's see if it can be topped twixt now and then.

[Buster Hyman]

Well, we won't save as many this time Sully!

[Wensleydale]

The Wrong brothers?

[MPN11]

"Chaps, I've had a spiffing idea ... forget the wings, stand it on it's tail and just go straight up!"

[Pontius Navigator]

"Brilliant talk down MPN, why you could even talk us through the eye of a needle."

[Pontius Navigator]

Alan Pollock taxies in after a successful attempt to fly under one of the arches of London Bridge.

[CONSO]

Came in without a wing and a prayer

[Buster Hyman]

Didn't you notice the pedestrian crossing back there?

[Pontius Navigator]

The Americans clipped the wings of their latest fighter, the Goshawk, provided before lend lease.

[Danny42C]

"I do not know what effect this will have on the enemy - but by Gad it frightens me !"

[treadigraph]

My God, Baldrick, that IS a cunning plan. Better than my pencils and underpants...

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

There's the buzzer!

A close run thing, but Dan Gerous with

Jeez, could the mess just not have bought a tumble dryer.

takes home the bacon!

The CST is with you sir!

[Dan Gerous]

Wow, wasn't expecting that. Thanks TER. I shall dig something out.

[Dan Gerous]

OK have a go at this one


https://s26.postimg.org/pl0l986g9/cap-com.jpg (https://postimg.org/image/i51bnfiqt/)

[Danny42C]

"What shall we do ? - I can't find the keys !"

[Penny Washers]

Proof that you can polish a turd.

[JAVELINBOY]

I think its got a puncture its shrinking as we speak

[JAVELINBOY]

Just adding the latest crash decal

[Wensleydale]

We are trying to discover whether you need a helicopter or a drone licence to fly it!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

There's your problem. Some little bugger has jammed a bottle top in the coin slot.

[Wander00]

You wanted barley water - well this is the machine they use at Wimbledon

[Buster Hyman]

Do they come in Mens sizes?

[treadigraph]

About 50 turns winds up the clockwork enough for a couple of circuits and a spot of hovering...

[Buster Hyman]

Shouldn't the blades for the new lawn mower be on the bottom?

[Pontius Navigator]

Wils tries to get George to open the door

[Ascend Charlie]

You might be my instructor, but give me twenty pushups for standing like a sugar bowl!

[MPN11]

"Are you sure there's room for Her Majesty back there?"

[DirtyProp]

May I see that repossession paper again?

[Danny42C]

"Watch out ! - there's a Bird in a Biplane about !"

[Danny42C]

"I think we'd better call out the AA !"

[Danny42C]

""Fly-tipping all over the place these days !"

[Danny42C]

"It's a drone from Harrods with the hamper Grandma said she sent me last Christmas !"

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

If you get the boiler drawing properly, all the smoke will go up that chimney.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

I'll just connect up the battery, then you can jump in and have a go. They're just like a real helicopter.

[Danny42C]

Small is beautiful !

[ShyTorque]

"First we feed the hamster, then we put him in his little wheel just here..."

[MPN11]

"... To inflate, pull the red toggle. If it needs to be topped up, you can blow into this tube here ... "

[Wensleydale]

After suffering all the "Little Willy" jokes about his autogyro, James Bond was not happy with his latest "Tiny Chopper".

[SATCOS WHIPPING BOY]

https://s26.postimg.org/pl0l986g9/cap-com.jpg


If I pull here I can drag it onto the "H" so it looks like I aced the landing.

[SATCOS WHIPPING BOY]

I wish it flew faster, it is a real bugger scraping these squashed flies off the back.

[Wensleydale]

Prince George is going to be spoiled on his fifth birthday!

[Ascend Charlie]

(Instructor): "It was YOUR idea to take your Grandma's corgi for a ride, YOU clean up the mess!"

[treadigraph]

I am sorry about your wife, sir. If only she'd left her lucky rabbit's foot here...

[racedo]

RAF Downsizing is worse than thought.

[Buster Hyman]

It started out as a wart on my hand...

[Buster Hyman]

They're great fun, but winding them up is a real pain in the ass!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Now should you elect to move up to the Deluxe model, it comes with metallic paint, bluetooth phone, and leather seats, and just to sweeten the deal a little, this month the company is throwing in the engine, normally only available as part of the ultra high-end Performance Upgrade package, which goes in this empty space here. Moving further up to the Grande Edition, you get all of that, plus the engine and flight controls, if also optioned, are fully connected to the appropriate control surfaces.

[Danny42C]

"It came in a packet of cornflakes !"