Caption competition

[Buster Hyman]

Praise the Lord, we're airborne!!!!

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

"Every aerodynamic problem with the Phantom has always been solved by fitting bigger engines!"

[Surplus]

Lt Origami, less folding, more stick control.

[Buster Hyman]

A number of KGB spies were shot once the Russians realised the stolen Phantom plans were not quite right...

[CoffmanStarter]

Phantom OCU ... "This is called the Origami Dive" :E

[Wensleydale]

I was OIC the Origami Club but then it folded.

[WeeJeem]

Leo the Rio had a feeling that this sortie was heading tips-up.

[NutLoose]

"Err Skip, you know those 100,000 loose rivets in close formation"
"Yeah"
"Well they appear to be on the move"

[Big Pistons Forever]

After the Phantom crews decisively defeated the F 35 in an ACM evaluation it was decided that it was necessary to handicap the F 4 in order to ensure a statistically valid outcome was obtained......

[Big Pistons Forever]

Why yes this is Bloggs last day before he retires, why do ask ?

[Big Pistons Forever]

Some phantom drivers were so ashamed about how ugly their aircraft looked that they started wearing brown paper bags over their heads. While the holes cut in the front of the bag allowed them to see ahead it did cut down on their periiferal vision.....

[NutLoose]

"Don't worry about it, the RAF always fold early on Fridays"







..

[Wensleydale]

...on the F4 OCU, Daniel Bernoulli hands over control to Isaac Newton.

[ShyTorque]

"Bloggs, you muppet - when I said check the wings for full and free movement I only meant the ailerons!"

[WhiteOvies]

A phine example of a pholded phantom phlying in phormation.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Unconfirmed reports are that the Iranian Air Force are having difficulty maintaining some of the systems on their F4's.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Wow, when the CO told the maintenance officer he wanted every airplane in the air he wasn't kidding :eek:

[Buster Hyman]

A little known feature of the Phantom was the emergency semaphore system, for when the radio was on the fritz!

[Lafyar Cokov]

If you didn't understand "Run in and BREAK" you should have said!

[Danny42C]

"Well, it's not much use as an aeroplane like this - but it'll make a fine Dive Bomber !" :*

[Arm out the window]

They say aerial warfare can be like a game of poker - well, I fold!

[Dan Gerous]

Yoda despaired, as young skywalker, always in a rush, takes the U wing instead of the X

[Danny42C]

"Very interesting, Hoskins, but I can't see it catching on as a Short Landing Procedure".


or


"Oops ! - you have Control, Sir !"

[Buster Hyman]

"...now, did you see the difference in performance when I went to F104 mode? Let's go to F35B mode, commonly known as a Stall..."

[Arm out the window]

"Flaps up!"
"Yes, it certainly does, doesn't it?"

[ShyTorque]

"Right - so who pimped my ride?"

[Dan Gerous]

This doesn't look good, you might have to get out and push Nav.

[cattletruck]

Another frigid pilot who hates a tight formation.

----------------------

It's the quickest way to get it to turn.

[Buster Hyman]

"♫...Walk like an Egyptian....♫"

[Danny42C]

"I'm outa here !"

[Big Pistons Forever]

The instructor teaching aircraft recognition asked his brother the F4 pilot if he could provide a picture of the aircraft in an "unusual" configuration.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Well I guess we now know who is on the fast track to flag rank.....

[Big Pistons Forever]

Pilot to RIO: Thank god cameras are banned on the base !

[Danny42C]

"Is it supposed to do this ?" :*

[Buster Hyman]

Ok, whilst I try to get the wings sorted, can you look up the a Warranty expiry date...

[Runaway Gun]

Well the lever is marked 'FLAPS'!

[Danny42C]

"Shall we call Mayday, Sir ?...............Sir ???"

[Buster Hyman]

No, I didn't say 'Erect', I said 'EJECT'!

[Surplus]

P____M
HANTO

[Burnt Fishtrousers]

How many times do I have to tell you Hoskins, we are flying a pre mod 406 aircraft so don't raise the bloody handle to hang your sick bag on

[Danny42C]

"Where did I put the Pilots' Notes ?"

[Fantome]

maybe he missed that warning in the manual -

IN THE EVENT OF RADIO FAIL ATTEMPTING TO SEMAPHORE
BY FULL OR PARTIAL WINGFOLD IS A PROSCRIBED
PROCEDURE

[Donkey497]

The new "Canyon" automatic escape & evasion App caused a degree of attrition among new crew who forgot about the minimum airpseed limit.

[CoffmanStarter]

With Pontius Navigator sunning himself in Lanzarote from today ... and acting as his named Deputy ... I thought it was time to get us moving along to the next round before both Buster and Nutty suffer their usual chronic withdrawal symptoms :ok:

Some cracking one-liners from the usual culprits :}

But as difficult as it was here are my Top 3 ...

1st Fox3 @ 27949 (PM sent)

Every aerodynamic problem with the Phantom has always been solved by fitting bigger engines!

2nd TyroPicard @ 27934

3rd Wensleydale @ 27953

Best ...

Coff.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/military-humor-funny-joke-navy-submarines-Come-on-guys-let-me-in-aint-funny.jpg

[CoffmanStarter]

Sir ... I don't think "Keel Haul the Swab" is a legitimate order these days :E

[Danny42C]

"I know I threw my engagement ring somewhere around here last night !"

[Wander00]

There is a hatch somewhere here

[dazdaz1]

Why did I volunteer to wash the Captains laundry:{

[Wander00]

No doubt some bu@@er will get a gong for getting me out of the sea when I fall..........................off (splutter).....here(splutter, splutter)!

[ShyTorque]

"Quick, get me a cloth!"

[NutLoose]

"Bloody Jehovah's witnesses at the door again skipper"

[NutLoose]

"She murmured something about big, black, wet and doggy style, so I left her on deck"

[Danny42C]

♫...Life on the Ocean Wave...♫

[Wensleydale]

Is that why she is a Sub-Lieutenant?

[Donkey497]

"Why, yes we do take women to sea on submarines these days........... No, they're not actually allowed into the submarine, but we do actually take them out to sea...."

[Wensleydale]

The new manager of the English Football Team decided to flood the pitch: she wanted to bring on the sub....

[Stanwell]

Something had to be done about Comrade Xing's flatulence.

[Wensleydale]

In Somerset, the local post mistress failed to see the funny side as the Navy decided to help with flood relief operations.

[NutLoose]

"You do realise from now on Skipper, the sea will smell of fish. "

[NutLoose]

"Oops I think I should have pushed lever B and pulled lever A when using the head"

[NutLoose]

"Ok, who told the new telegraphist I wanted an outside line?"

[ValMORNA]

I think the leak is somewhere about . . . here.

[TyroPicard]

Vanessa was beginning to wish she had kept quiet about her trainsurfing exploits...

[Fantome]

MY SKIPPER'S A HARD MYCOGYNIST CxxxT
BUT BE ASSURED
HE'S GOING TO REGRET THIS LITTLE STUNT

[Buster Hyman]

SHARK!!!.......

[Buster Hyman]

Xin. It's your Mother. Get out there at once!

[Buster Hyman]

Tides coming in...
(Should've gone to Spec savers...)

[Fantome]

bloody fxxcking coprolalia fxxck fxxk fxxck . . . . give vent to
a choice stream of fxxck fxxck fxxck and the fxxcking bastard **** cxxnt puts me outside. Least I've seen a sailor blush.

[Buster Hyman]

The Collins Class replacement team scour the Earth for new Subs.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Oh that is the RAF exchange officer like most of his kind, late and out of the rig of the day :rolleyes:

[Surplus]

You don't serve peanuts in a bag more than once in the South Korean Navy.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Note to self: No matter how drunk you are never ever, ever, ever, ever tell Prince Charles that his wife is ugly......

[Buster Hyman]

Subway, Eat fresh. Has a whole different meaning in the middle of the Pacific...

[Arm out the window]

http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/military-humor-funny-joke-navy-submarines-Come-on-guys-let-me-in-aint-funny.jpg

"Hey! The equal opportunity tribunal clearly says it can be long, black, round and full of sea-women too!"

[CoffmanStarter]

What do you mean "Free Willy" :E

[Buster Hyman]

"One Ping only Vassili..."
"Done....PROC exchange sailor, Ping, deployed"

[cattletruck]

"I'm going to wash that admiral right out of my hair."

[CoffmanStarter]

That'll teach you to block the Heads :}

[Buster Hyman]

I'm gonna need a bigger mop.

[SteveCox]

The hunt for Red October was going really well but now that he'd found it Bloggs wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do with it.

[Fly26]

'I always wondered what that 4, 3, 2, 1 meant ............'

[ShyTorque]

"OK, OK, I promise never to nag about the toilet seats being left up again....!"

[Fantome]

when manning the conning tower keep your eyes peeled men

you may well see some rather cunning stunt

[Wensleydale]

Not an entry....is this actually a chap? He seems to be wearing goggles on the back of his head which looks from a distance like a girl's hair style. Just a thought.

[Hydromet]

Where's the soap?

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Wensleydale I know not. The androgynous nature of the image leaves more scope for humour anyway.

[Fantome]

"I think I know where I could be heading if I survive this."
http://th07.deviantart.net/fs45/PRE/i/2009/060/7/0/The_Incredible_Limpet_Woman_by_Bambs79.jpg (http://bambs79.deviantart.com/art/The-Incredible-Limpet-Woman-114526113)

[NutLoose]

"So how does he know that is the direction of Mecca?"
"Because the skipper told him, however we have been turning slowly to port ever since"

[CoffmanStarter]

Able Seaman An Drogynous reporting for duty Sir :E

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Off for a few days, so judging time

3rd - Nutloose
"Bloody Jehovah's witnesses at the door again skipper"

2nd - Buster
I'm gonna need a bigger mop.

This week's winner - Surplus
You don't serve peanuts in a bag more than once in the South Korean Navy.

Congrats - PM sent

[NutLoose]

"There it is again Bert, that funny knocking noise, 'ow they expect us to get anything done wiff that racket going on is beyond me, 'ere Bert turn up the radio"


Edit..

I was gazumped :p

[CoffmanStarter]

Well played Sur+ :ok:

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Very good Nutty. As a consolation prize, I award you equal 3rd place with that Nutloose character. ;)

[Fantome]

"Able Seaman An Drogynous reporting for duty Sir"

once more unto the crease . .. . with the pun excelling

(or depressing)

-----------------------------------------

once upon a time at Strahan, on the Taswegian west coast,
ready to roll, I called 'CHOCKS AWAY' to one Rodney,
who promptly removed them and hurled them far off
into the button grass

was he who said upon likewise hurling my little instamatic
camera into the mulga . . . 'YOUR PRINTS WILL NEVER COME'

[NutLoose]

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, has anyone Pm'd him to let him know?

[CoffmanStarter]

Yep ... Fox3 confirmed @ #28038 :ok:

Let's give him a bit longer before we unleash the Buster :eek:

[Rosevidney1]

Or bust the unleasher.........

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Wanna take it Buster?
Surplus can always have the next one.

[Buster Hyman]

Ok, will get it up soon... (Said Nutty to every one he's been with...) :E

[Surplus]

Thanks F3WMB, hope this hasn't been used before. sorry for the delay - Time Zones.

http://i1007.photobucket.com/albums/af197/Philaitch/opencockpit_zpsb00bc049.jpg (http://s1007.photobucket.com/user/Philaitch/media/opencockpit_zpsb00bc049.jpg.html)

[Buster Hyman]

Nutty on a first date.

[NutLoose]

FRECKLES..........




Nuff said

[Big Pistons Forever]

I am your Instructor Pilot, My handle is "Nice Guy", and I eat sorry ASS students like you for Breakfast !

[Big Pistons Forever]

I ejected at 450 kts and just like Martin Baker said, absolutely no ill effects....

[Buster Hyman]

Snoopy deploys his secret weapon on the Red Baron.

[Wensleydale]

"There are no flies on me!"

[Wensleydale]

Nachtjager Ace Hans Schmidt had a successful sortie. On landing he claimed 19 Mosquitoes!

[CoffmanStarter]

Will the next Student take two steps forward :}

[CoffmanStarter]

Real Fighter Pilots have "grit between their teeth" :uhoh:

[cattletruck]

There's some Cu behind you that'll make good mouthwash.

[Wander00]

Eight and a half .........................there 9g...............

[CoffmanStarter]

Right ... You show me where it says in the FRC's that it's a requirement on the pre-start walk around that you give the oil vent a Bravo Juliet :suspect:

[ShyTorque]

Surplus, never mind the "selfie" - how about a caption comp. photo? :}

[Arm out the window]

"Goggles on, chocks away, last one airborne's a homo, hooray!"

[squeaker]

Capt: That was close! Thought we hit that Tiger Moth!

FO: Er, skipper...

[NutLoose]

http://i1007.photobucket.com/albums/af197/Philaitch/opencockpit_zpsb00bc049.jpg

"Well, that's the first time i've gone down on a WRAF and the experience was everything people told me it would be........."



Sorry

[Fantome]

"Once I had a soul full of hope . .. . and a hole full of soap. . . . .
but now? . . .. . a gob full of soot."

------------------------------------------

when Leroy Brown's mother said "go wash your mouth out, you just the foulest mouth round here", Leroy just laughed out loud.

[Buster Hyman]

Chopper Pilot.

[Stanwell]

In the early days, one could pick a happy aviator by the bugs in his teeth.

[Danny42C]

"What big teeth you have, Grandmama" said little Red Riding Hood.

[Fantome]

"C'mon Algie . . c'mon Ginger . . . . me? . . . ever bad mouth you?"

[cattletruck]

If we can get him to stop smiling it'll probably give us an extra 10kts.

[dazdaz1]

While filming the latest adult movie 'Fun flying' the leading actor is requested to clean his teeth before the next scene.

[Pontius Navigator]

Alcohol abuse is prevalent on the San


Sh1 t faced again

[Fantome]

now listen you filthy-minded, foul-mouthed son of a nightman -

you might think you're good and ready . . . . ready you might be

but good you'll never be

[Danny42C]

Gives a whole new meaning to "al dente" !

[Wensleydale]

John had misunderstood the job description when he applied to join the Swat team.

[Surplus]

Entries have slowed so it's time for a winner and this time it's Wensleydale with:
Nachtjager Ace Hans Schmidt had a successful sortie. On landing he claimed 19 Mosquitoes!

All yours Wensleydale.

[CoffmanStarter]

Well played Wensley :D

[Wensleydale]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01426/bruno4l_1426212i.jpg

[CoffmanStarter]

I said Bearskins not bare skin :suspect:

[Surplus]

The Coldqueen Guards.

[SteveCox]

Liz and Phil had heard the band many times before but this was the first time they'd looked out of the window.

[NutLoose]

Some of the people from Busters village, the Village people.

[NutLoose]

"Byyyyyy the leeeeft, quick mince"

[Fantome]

If you go down to The Strand today, you're in for a big surprise. The Trannies are out, their bodies to flout; that's true beyond surmise.

They've not heard a word of Christopher Robin, who once went down with Alice, but if they had, they'd parody those innocent lines, for fun, and not with malice.


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01426/bruno4l_1426212i.jpg






 

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

'They're Changing Guard at Buckingham Palace,
Christopher Robin went down on Alice*"





* Alice, formerly known as Bernard before the Op.

[NutLoose]

"And next we have the Jamaican bobsgay team...."

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

"Ooh, look at you, Big Boy!
That's what I call standing to attention!"

--------------------------------------------------

"Point of fact, Sir, this has always been the Grenadier's Summer Dress, but after an unfortunate incident involving the junior officers, the Empress Sophie, 14 bonobo monkeys and a tiger in Rajpur in 1843, it hasn't been worn again - until now."

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

"Where's your horn, darling? Would you like to blow mine?"

[Buster Hyman]

Surely there's a 'Beef' eater in there somewhere?

[Fantome]

Standby .. standby .. . for our next gig. . . . THE HAKA

[Danny42C]

"Higimus, Hogimus, Man is Androgynous".

[NutLoose]

"Of course we're happy, listen to the beat Darling.....bum...bum.bum...bum"

[NutLoose]

"You put your left foot in, your left foot out, you do the ok pokey and you turn him around"

[Buster Hyman]

The Edinburgh Tattoo was never the same again.

[CoffmanStarter]

Careful Clive your castanets are showing :ooh:

[ShyTorque]

The first trumpet came out and became the fur strumpet.

[Ascend Charlie]

The white boy wore a busby, the rest just had their 70s Afro styles.

[Buster Hyman]

Nobody fully understood just how big the Barracks closet was until....

[Fantome]

"We wouldn't be half as smart if we hadn't got that darling warrant officer
to find us what he called -

Brasso and Blanco, troops for the misuse of"

[NutLoose]

"How do we get shiny legs? It's KY jelly overspray"

[Buster Hyman]

"I won the Rodgering stick!"

[Dan Gerous]

Darling, it's called Colonel Bogey, and it's the only tune we play. It is about balls after all.

[Danny42C]

Well, the Fijians always were partial to a bit of long pig ! :*

[Buster Hyman]

Right-o. Back to the Barracks Boys & we'll polish our 'long trousers'.

[squeaker]

Prince Charles's insistence that the Palace laundry switch to Eco friendly washing powder has unforeseen consequences.

[Arm out the window]

"I know this is a Christmas concert, but are you sure the line 'Don we now our gay apparel' is supposed to be taken so literally, Band Leader?"

[Buster Hyman]

Knighting Prince Phillip went down a treat in Kings Cross!

[Longhitter]

"Say hello to Austrian Gay Television!"

[Stanwell]

HELLO SAILOR !
Oh no, sailors don't dress like that, do they?

[NutLoose]

Jeremy gets in some serious blowing of his own trumpet practice in preparation for the after parade party where he intends to share his talent with the boys..

[NutLoose]

Girl on far left... "What a waste"

[Wensleydale]

Entries are slowing down - I'll judge later today.

[Fantome]

We're comin' we're comin' hurrah! Hurrah!

We're comin' we're comin' hurrah! Hurrah!

We're comin' we're comin' to breast the bar

we're comin' we're comin' hurrah! Hurrah!

[CoffmanStarter]

A brief glimpse of the Australian Band granted a 'Wild Card' entry for this year's Eurovision Song Contest :E

[Wensleydale]

I can't win my own contest, but...


"The Welsh RFU attempt to improve their team's second half performance by auditioning a new marching band for half time."


Meanwhile, the winner of this clearly un-PC contest is ...


"The Edinburgh Tattoo was never the same again."


Well done Buster Hyman! Over to you.

[CoffmanStarter]

Well played Buster :D:D:D:D

Sedation for Nutty please ...

[NutLoose]

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17725891/images/1327916440314.jpg


Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo:p

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo....finish the whisky first ;)

[Fantome]

http://www.marcoberon-magictricks.co.uk/images/P/OffKey-01.jpg (http://www.marcoberon-magictricks.co.uk/product.php?productid=16158)

[Buster Hyman]

Thank you Wendy, very kind. My commiserations to Nutty's family... :(

Anyway, let's have a go at Randy Andy eh?

http://www.unofficialroyalty.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Andrew_visiting-troops.jpg

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

"How cool is that?! This is the guy who chopped Eddie off the Bootie course!"

[Fantome]

Oh, the grand old Duke of York,
He had ten thousand men,
He marched them up to the top of
Everyone stands up
The hill and he marched
Them down again. Everyone sits down


And when they were up they were up.
Everyone stands up
And when they were down they were down.
Everyone sits down
And when they were only half way up,
They were neither up nor down.
Everyone half-way up

(not an entry. just an aside)

[Danny42C]

Dumb Vote of No Confidence ? :(

[Fantome]

http://www.unofficialroyalty.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Andrew_visiting-troops.jpg
http://www.pprune.org/images/statusicon/user_offline.gif http://www.pprune.org/images/buttons/report.gif (http://www.pprune.org/report.php?p=8863149) http://www.pprune.org/images/buttons/reply_small.gif (http://www.pprune.org/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=8863149&noquote=1)


Gunner Evans (whispering) : My mum thinks he's good-looking.


Gunner Mackintosh : Drinks a lot, does she?

[Surplus]

'I remember when my 'ride' was slow and heavy.'

"Sea King, Sir?"

'I wasn't talking about aircraft.'

[Wensleydale]

Who is "Mr Vice" for the evening?

[NutLoose]

"Pssst.. has anyone told him that it was a typo and he is visiting the Junior Leaders next, not the Junior Bleeders"

[CoffmanStarter]

Pssst ... What's the difference between Prince Andrew and Manchester United ? Prince Andrew's never regretted getting rid of Fergie.

[CoffmanStarter]

Just wanted you chaps to know that I'm being promoted to the rank of vice-admiral on my 55th birthday next week ...




And that's legit breaking news in the last hour ...

[CoffmanStarter]

Take that Prince Andrew mask off Buster and get fell in like the rest of us :p

[Wander00]

I'll never forget what'shername............

[NutLoose]

Ahhh.... Rum, Bum and a Navy Lackey, what more could a Naval officer want for...

[Wander00]

That's "vice" admiral, right?

[NutLoose]

"Yes that was funny, caught running around a Las Vegas hotel with his gingernuts in his hand... of course, you wouldn't catch me doing anything so foolish..."

[NutLoose]

"So where are you holidaying this year Sir, Virginia?"

[nimbev]

Perhaps if I keep standing here with a silly grin on my face, nobody will ask me any embarrassing questions.

[NutLoose]

"I always knew you had a sense of humour Sir, after all you did marry a Ginger"

[CoffmanStarter]

Prince Andrew talking to a Senior Navy bod just off camera ...

"You're not serious ... I'm featured in this weeks CapCom Pic on PPRuNe Mil you say ... How absolutely spiffing"

[Danny42C]

The results of the Services Pay Review are announced,

[Bannock]

Cant hang around chaps, I have a hot date.
Oh ! there goes her school bell.

[NutLoose]

They Seaking here,
They Seaking there,
That damned abusive other heir





..

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

"No pay raise again, chaps? Just ask your mum for a promotion - works for me!"

[ShyTorque]

I say, I say, I say!
Why is the DOY like an old farmer?
Because they both used to get to ride on a knackered old Fergie!

[Buster Hyman]

I say, I say, I say
What does the DoY & the Black Eyed Peas gave in common?
Both were carried by Fergie.

(I think that's all the Fergies now...):p

[NutLoose]

What's the similarity between Sarah Fergusson and a cashpoint?

A: They're both f****in andy when strapped for cash.

[NutLoose]

Back to the competition...........


"Errr Sir can you tell your ex, we are sorry, but we 'ad a whip round and only managed to drum up £15-78 to meet you"

[NutLoose]

Bump..............

[Buster Hyman]

It's quiet...too quiet... I'll judge this one tonight AEDT. Last call for Randy Andy Gentlemen....

[Buster Hyman]

Not a lot of love for Andy...oh well.

I hereby proclaim, Surplus to be victorious!

'I remember when my 'ride' was slow and heavy.'

"Sea King, Sir?"

'I wasn't talking about aircraft.'

Nutty can be runner up...

They Seaking here,
They Seaking there,
That damned abusive other heir

[CoffmanStarter]

Well played Sur+ :D

Ice pack for Nutty please nurse :}

[NutLoose]

So gracious :)

[Prangster]

For gods sake I hope our old SWO man never sees this the buggers keep better step than we ever did

[ricardian]

A caption to a photograph that is yet to appear?

[Buster Hyman]

Hmmm...no reply from Surplus...might be over to you Nutty. :ugh:

[NutLoose]

Did you pm him?

[Buster Hyman]

Yes I did Nut man....take it away old son!

[NutLoose]

Ok, if he pops back he can score it :)

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--PdLIgzPL--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/l0bfqkqjnpqam8ytcyro.jpg

[MPN11]

"So this is the famous English Channel?"

[Wensleydale]

"...and coming up on the right is the USS Vincennes".

[Big Pistons Forever]

"Novo ordum seclorom" may be on the back of the One US Dollar bill, but it works for me....

[Wensleydale]

"Is that the Estonian Navy? I'll have some of that!"

[Big Pistons Forever]

What's the title of that Leonard Cohen song again.....Oh ya I remember now it is " First we take Manhattan "

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--PdLIgzPL--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/l0bfqkqjnpqam8ytcyro.jpg

Putin: " Three ships? Ha! It's the entire Royal Navy!"

Aide: "Nyet, Mr President. The ships are a bit big for that."

[Wander00]

Now let's see, where else shall I invade

[CoffmanStarter]

"On today's list, numbers 8, 12, 14 and 27 ... Kill them" :eek:

[CoffmanStarter]

"Pilot to Nav ... You worked out where we are yet" :}

[CoffmanStarter]

Putin addressing someone just out of shot to the left ...

"Well Commander Bond ... you are going to wish you hadn't put us to so much trouble" :uhoh:

[Buster Hyman]

Wait...is this Aeroflot or Aerofloat?

[CoffmanStarter]

"Get me a bowl of nuts ... But be very careful how you serve them Comrade Air Steward" :uhoh:

[CoffmanStarter]

"And through the square window we can see ..."


With a nod to BBC Play School

[Danny42C]

"Silent, with wild surmise......"

[MPN11]

"British Airways has a moving map display in First Class, so why do I have to deal with all these paper charts, Comrade?"

[MPN11]

Putin evaluates new Russian MPA Navigator work-station.

[Buster Hyman]

"I'm looking for Nuclear Wessels...Wwwwwwessels"

free point for anyone who gets the reference...

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Who's flying this thing? Checkov?

Yis, Kiptin!

[CoffmanStarter]

:D Flash to Bang ... 9 mins by Fox3 :D

[NutLoose]

Star Trek 1V The Voyage Home to be precise.

[squeaker]

Star Trek IV to be even more precise..

[squeaker]

Who needs Sat Nav when you have za Navy?

[superq7]

I see no ships.

[Buster Hyman]

Oh, are they the Vulgar Boatmen?

Squeaker wins!

[Arm out the window]

"Get Obama on the secure line and pass this message: 'J14, I sink your battleship!"

[CoffmanStarter]

"Are we there yet ?"

[CoffmanStarter]

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--PdLIgzPL--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/l0bfqkqjnpqam8ytcyro.jpg

[CoffmanStarter]

Don't worry Comrade President ... The Captain says it shouldn't be a problem landing your Il-96 on the Kuznetsov Carrier :ooh:

[Wensleydale]

"...tell that idiot steward that I asked for "Sweetcorn" and not "Seedcorn"!

[Wensleydale]

"Disport Open...Kilo One One.....Charlie Victor...."

[Buster Hyman]

"I'm telling you. There's something out there on the wing!"

[nimbev]

When I specified wood trim for the interior of my presidential aircraft I was expecting Walnut, not chipboard.

[Pontius Navigator]

Putin evaluates the BAE company-funded austere civil airliner MPA conversion.

[CoffmanStarter]

Go on ... You tell him to put his tray in the upright position :oh:

[Buster Hyman]

Oh look, the Lonely Planet: Kiev guide has a map as well...handy.

[CoffmanStarter]

I'll have the Foie Gras followed by the Grilled Swan along with a bottle of your finest vintage Schnozneglogg 78 :p

[Danny42C]

"That new girl Natasha is slow with the vodka, and hasn't heard of the Verst-High Club (yet). Memo: Comrade Chief Steward is for the Knout !

[toptobottom]

Looking down from the 87th deck of his yacht, Putin still couldn't see that place called "Ukraine"

[MPN11]

The Official Flypast of the Baltic Fleet somehow lacked the sense of occasion when it was done by ship.

[Danny42C]

"Comrade Admiral Dropkickoff tells me they're only rubber blown-up decoys !"