Caption competition

[Vitesse]

It's Mine and I'll polish it as much as I like.


PS Fantastic photo and well tweaked.

[Air Cadet]

See what the Royal Navy can offer you

[SASless]

"Aw, knock it off will ya Skipper? Put yer specs on....cannae ye see I'm a gunner, not a fecking Cabin Boy!"

[aseanaero]

After running away to sea this little village person set about fulfulling his dream, joining forces with a construction worker, an indian and a cop ... and working in Navy recruiting

[Roadster280]

A rare snap of "Roger the Cabin Boy".

[ACW599]

Recently unearthed publicity material for Britten's 1954 opera "The Turn of the Screw" was surprisingly adventurous for its time.

[airborne_artist]

"...and despite my expert advice, the RAF still chose not to fit a cannon to the Typhoon...."

[Rather be Gardening]

"Very well, alone then!" The UK's latest response to Argentinian aggression.

[NutLoose]

http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg221/icu9/PowderMonkey.jpg

"We never did it like this in the Airforce and what do you mean I have to get rid of my Beret?"...


Or

"It's this damn Labour party, we were supposed to fit a Phalanx, but this is all they could afford in the end, we had them done cheap in an Afghanistani flea market... I was still at School until someone in Government cottoned on that employing boy labour reduced the Navy wage bill, cut down the education bill and was seen to bolster the service strength"..

Or

"What do you mean it's my turn in the Barrel? that's not the description they gave me for a Boy Entrant at the careers office".

[FinelyChopped]

I wish I'd been issued a belt or braces.

[JAVELINBOY]

"I'll av you know your looking at two of the best screws in any mans navy, now come with me sonny I'll show you where the Golden Nail is in this little tub"

[seekayess]

See this cannon? I am in-charge -- and you wanna see the two spare balls that I keep for it?

[Siggie]

The last Sqn photo at St Mawgan.

[brickhistory]

Midshipman Jack Sparrow...

[NutLoose]

"It's standard procedure for one of use to guard the gun in Liverpool Docks, the Pikies have already had the back wheels off it".

[Hempy]

This is my cannon,
this is my gun.
This is for killing,
this is for fun,

now faf off

[Kiltrash]

Just found, early promotion photo of Michael Flatley's(age 10) Riverdance

[Buster Hyman]

Well, lets keep the ball rolling eh? (No, that's not an entry!)

I must admit, for not so many entries, they were all high quality although, I was expecting some mention of Lord Draper of the Admiralty in there...;)

Anywho....in 3rd place...Hempy's

This is my cannon,
this is my gun.
This is for killing,
this is for fun,

now faf off

2nd place...Air Cadet's

See what the Royal Navy can offer you

And my favourite....

Roadster280's

A rare snap of "Roger the Cabin Boy".

Over to you Roadster! :D

[Roadster280]

Thank you very much, Buster!

After googling "sexy WRAF" and being utterly appalled at the image results (no, really, try it!), I settled for the more conventional:

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j99/roadster280/CH47_On_The_Water.jpg

Judging will be 1700 EST Sunday 28 Feb.

[NutLoose]

"In the navy
Yes, you can sail the seven seas
In the navy
Yes, you can put your mind at ease
In the navy
Come on now, people, make a stand
In the navy, in the navy
Can't you see we need a hand
In the navy
Come on, protect the motherland
In the navy
Come on and join your fellow man
In the navy
Come on people, and make a stand
In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy)"

[622]

Harry and Wills latest use of a 'company car' to go water skiing come under scrutiny!

[NutLoose]

Aaaaaaaooouuuuuuwerrr.... Aooouuuueeeerrrrrrr.... Dive, Dive, Dive

[Togue]

Pontoon failure checklist!

[ACW599]

"Er, Skipper, it was the capsule that was supposed to splashdown, not us".

or:

"Are you sure this is the best way to do a comp wash?"

[Siggie]

Are you sure we're on force QNH? She feels a trifle sluggish.

[SASless]

"Osprey this you SOB's!"



Historical Note..... in the late 60's....the USAF used to land in a lake north of Fort Sill, Oklahoma using Sikorsky H-3' Jolly Greens.....and taunted us one day. We closed hatches (Hook and Lower Ramp) and plunked down beside them in our Wokka's. Nothing more heard from the Junior Bird Men!

[dead_pan]

"Oscar 177, feet wet"

[Runaway Gun]

"The sooner these Loadies knees are fixed, and they pass the fitness tests, the better for all of us!"

[Rather be Gardening]

Fed up with all the Defence cuts, the skipper told the PM he could walk home ......

[ShyTorque]

"All I can say is, I hope you have learned not to scoff next time the ATIS says Runway WET WET WET and say who cares, we're in a helicopter....."

[Buster Hyman]

Emerging from the Loch, the Commander of the RAF Investigation Committee determined that there was no definitive proof the Nessie existed.

[brickhistory]

Trieste II trials...

[JAVELINBOY]

The Mk1 Ockle Cockle Wokka, so called from the sound the water makes as it seeps in and the Wokka sinks

[Buster Hyman]

Sick & tired of Sea Shepherd, the Japanese Whalers come up with an ingenious invention. The Whale Fisher & Sushi boat cuts down on "research" time by 80%.

[aseanaero]

A new Iranian sub showing of one of it's camoflage features, con towers that look like a Ch-47 ...

[aseanaero]

Fed up with all the Defence cuts, the skipper told the PM he could walk home ......

in a supreme display of self confidence ... he did

[Buster Hyman]

I told you there was a fuel leak!

[aseanaero]

The pilot desperately tried to wash off vegetation and tree branches before returning to base

[Dan Gerous]

"Standby for action. Dun duda dun duda dun duda dun dun da da, dun duda dun duda dun duda dun duda dun da da, STINGRAY, STINGRAY, da na na na na na. Anything can happen in the next 1/2 hour."


or

"So there you go Co. You never saw it on TV, but thats how Thunderbird 2 used to pick up Thunderbird 4 in its pod after a mission"

or

The Chinook force were extremely pissed off at the decision to give the Chinooks to the Navy, when the RAF was disbanded.

[Vitesse]

"...and if I lower the collective just a little more..."

[Kiltrash]

So exactly which of us was PF and PNF, I fell asleep at the briefing

or

Well if the Hunter can get underTower bridge, watch this, oops missed the tide tables

[MostlyHarmless]

"Say again QFE?"

[Hempy]

If the loady starts kicking I reckon we can get her to 20 knots

[airborne_artist]

Talking of loadies:

"If we kick the loadie out I think we'll make it home lads - whad'ya say?"

[Runaway Gun]

"Well he stinks, and he never showers...."

[seekayess]

Once again now! 'My Bonny Lies O'er The Ocean'!!

[Longhitter]

Right, chaps: either global warming got to the LZ before we did or somebody misaligned the nav system...

[Buster Hyman]

"Sea's a little choppy today Skipper...."

[sitigeltfel]

In anticipation of the mooted merger with the Navy, the RAF decide to get some practice in.

[Cows getting bigger]

"OK, who pulled the plug?"

[SASless]

"See Bloggs....best Bilge Pump in the RAF our Loadie.....a scared Man with a bucket...works every time!"

[simon brown]

since global warming to we no longer use QFE at Odiham we use tidal charts...

[EngAl]

Following the edict that there would only be one Service and only one equipment programme, the trials of the Wokka-Sub were going quite well.
But no one seemed keen to be the first to fire the Trident through the rotors.

[WhiteOvies]

"OK lads, according to the map this here water feature is called 'Sh*t Creek' can you ask the SBS to leave us a paddle when they go?"


(PS Flickr has a lot to answer for when googling as suggested :yuk:)

[NutLoose]

Now that's the difference between QNH and QFE

or

Lets see them do this in a Puma, with its bodge taped up panels to keep the rain out........

[Buster Hyman]

The RAF Chinook struggled to get home from Vancouver with all those British Gold medals....:E:E:E

[Dan Gerous]

Stude, "sorry you must have mis-heard me, I said I wanted to be a PIRATE, not PILOT".

[brickhistory]

Obvous follow on to Dan's caption:






Management should've known there'd be trouble with Capt Jack Sparrow at the cyclic.

[Kiltrash]

In the latest thought of merging the RAF and NAVY we could try

' Whats this we cannot use the Navy to protect the trawlers in the cod war'

[Roadster280]

Judgement day has arrived! Thanks to all for their many fine entries, but there can be only one winner, and that winner is White Ovies with:

"OK lads, according to the map this here water feature is called 'Sh*t Creek' can you ask the SBS to leave us a paddle when they go?"

Baton duly passed to White Ovies...

[MostlyHarmless]

/pokes White Ovies

[NutLoose]

http://www.britmodeller.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/redx.gif


I'm getting withdrawl symptoms... :p

[Siggie]

Stealth caption competition picture causes confusion. Do I win?

[Howabout]

Arrrgghh! There's nothing else for it. Heidi my medication please - two double scotches in the same glass. By the way, that's a lovely nurse's outfit. The suspenders and those stockings are rather stimulating; is there any chance...damn, I always dribble at this point.

[NutLoose]

Roadster what about picking a second placer to get the ball rolling again.... Just a thought

As White Ovies
Location: A lot closer to the sea

Appears to be Lost Oviesboard :p

[Roadster280]

Agreed, and NutLoose, you're it with:

Now that's the difference between QNH and QFE

In fairness to White Ovies, the same situation happened to me in the past, I won and was away at the time, so didn't realise. In a kind gesture, AirborneArtist (It's his thread) put a pic up and asked me to judge it. Perhaps we could do the same if White Ovies reappears during the run of the next pic.

Crack on with a pic, NutLoose!

[NutLoose]

Struggled at short notice, if and when White Ovies turns up he may adjudicate :)

Ok folks, get your teeth into this one............. or on second thought perhaps not.. :p


http://englishrussia.com/images/army_ukraine/1.jpg

[brickhistory]

007? I think not...

[Buster Hyman]

Investigators discover the missing black box...


>o<


"Oooer...thanks very much for helping us with our 3 legged table Mister..."

[ix_touring]

Selection for the UK ar$e paddling team was in depth!


iX

[Togue]

Blonde nurse:
Ok boy, relax. It won´t hurt.

Readhead nurse:
Take a deep breath. We'll be done in a minute or two.

Guy:
I wish I had followed all those advices I read on PPRuNe.....
Those guys were right when told me not to come here....

[Air Cadet]

It's the cold Ladies Honest

[JAVELINBOY]

Seen bigger packages than that before soldier and were not talking about the one in your left hand

[Siggie]

Ok Ovies, one last time, where have you hidden the caption photo?

[toptobottom]

"I know, just like a penis only smaller"

[ShyTorque]

"Sorry sir, you're not going in our milking parlour dressed like that!"

[SASless]

"Weight Watcher Counselor explaining the benefits of successfully completing a course!"

[aseanaero]

"Thank you sir may I have another !"

[Buster Hyman]

"All together now...
I've got a lovely bunch of Coconuts..."

[Roadster280]

The SAS grew tired of having just their faces blacked out.

Or, Bloke to nurse on right:

"Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you pleased to see me?"

[pohm1]

When instructed to present his weapon for inspection, it became clear that Private Bloggs had misunderstood his orders.

Or

Is it 5.56 or 9mm?

P1

[Buster Hyman]

And so, it was conclusively proven, that the Sun did not shine out of the Captains arse!

[pohm1]

Private Bloggs modelling the new "Reverse Burka"

P1

[D John]

http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b74/milorgman/Flight/RAFHalton.jpg
Medical? No dear, this is catering..... but thanks ever so much for dropping by!

[SASless]

Lcpl Wee Willy O'Hara, being not the sharpest bayonet in the unit....

"Maam, the SgtMajor said he would have me balls for breakfast....is this where I report?"

[Buster Hyman]

"I said, at Ease Mister!!!"

[Kiltrash]

You want a sample?? you will need a bigger container than that maam:)


((I wish):=

[Faithless]

Blonde - "Sorry son, them balls are far too small for you to be an Apache or Chinook pilot"

Red Head - "Yeap, Puma or Merlin for you boy!"

[seekayess]

I should have joined the Royal Navy, I think!

[Siggie]

I'm sorry Madam, but the Flashearts have always carried their towels like this.

[Shlonghaul]

I'm the delivery guy from Subway. Which one of you lovely ladies ordered the footlong with the works? And would you like some creamy mayonnaise at no extra charge?

[Buster Hyman]

Hang on...Didn't I see you two on top of a tank in a previous caption competition?

[Hempy]

"no, I am just happy to see you.."

[im from uranus]

Blonde, "Airman! When I say salute, I mean salute. NOT present arms!"

[ACW599]

"Well, I don't think they're unfeasibly large".

[Rather be Gardening]

Airman demonstrates the body armour paid for by Gordon Brown: bug@er all use for stopping bullets but great for covering your six.

[Howabout]

"I don't know about you Nurse Grunt****le, but Air Force Regulations are quite specific when it comes to quality vs width."

[Ian Corrigible]

"Well we double-checked the handbook but, no, that doesn't count as 'personal growth' under your OJAR review..."

I/C

[wileydog3]

...well, the fighter guys said I should always protect my six from an unseen attacker.

[Buster Hyman]

Nurse1: "I'm sorry soldier but, whilst you might believe it to be true, the Army does not consider that an Armour Piercing weapon."
Nurse 2: "Although, it does look like it's been exposed to Depleted Uranium..."

[Howabout]

New recruit Buster provides evidence that there's no connection between name and potential.

[Buster Hyman]

...but, as we all know, it's not the potential that matters...:E

[622]

I don't care if you think it's a new world record, put those ring donuts back on the plate and get dressed...

[Togue]

It's been 5 days you son of a &%$#$....
Where's Ovies?

[NutLoose]

Well as Ovies is still missing in action I will announce the winner

Ok D John (http://www.pprune.org/members/318172-d-john) take a bow with

Medical? No dear, this is catering..... but thanks ever so much for dropping by!

Which was along the lines of my thinking too.......

Second place and a close runner up also standing in as backup is 622

I don't care if you think it's a new world record, put those ring donuts back on the plate and get dressed...

Over to you D John

Remind me never to eat a donut in your presence

[D John]

Thanks NutLoose I'm speachless, but I'd just like to say.....:oh:

Here's my offering, we'll see what can be done with this one.........

http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b74/milorgman/Flight/RobSchleiffert.jpg
At the sound of a loud bang the groundcrew reluctantly turned around.....
(I can't resist posting it with my own caption)

[mephisto88]

No Ivan, I said DONT pull the choke out before you start the engine... unless you want to blow the @r$e off it.

[Buster Hyman]

okay...start...the...conveyor...belt!!

[The Nr Fairy]

I knew these Russian aircraft were designed to be functional but I think this is a tad OTT.

[ACW599]

"Well, Bloggsie, you've got the cockpit and start checks hacked. But did you miss anything on the walkround?"

[622]

Damn it Ivan, I said we shouldn't have left it at Liverpool airport overnight.

[Shlonghaul]

Ok we've fired up the barbeque. Now how do you like your steaks, medium or extremely well done?!!

[S76Heavy]

Ah, that was what those leftover bolts were for, then.
You think we should tell the Colonel?

[brickhistory]

"Pimp my Rideski"

[rusty_monkey]

You thought the defence cuts were bad on this side of the iron curtian; well...

[Buster Hyman]

Only the tail section was completed before the funding for the stealth paint dryed up...

[ShyTorque]

This was sadly to be Ivan, the tail gunner's last ground run.

[NutLoose]

Man on the left...

"Hello? sorry your gonna have to speak up it's a bit noisey, who is it calling?

Man to his right,
"Hello, Hello, sorry I cannot hear you who is it, sorry I saw you number as a missed call, who is it calling???"

[Ian Corrigible]

After a minor last-minute funding-related design change, Andy 'Dead Dog' Green and the Bloodhound SSC team prepare for their assault on the land speed record.

I/C

[FinelyChopped]

There had been reports of petty pilfering on the flightline.

[Kiltrash]

You can get everything on e-bay these days, :ok:
All I wanted was a hair dryer:cool:
Buyer to collect, location Moscow:ugh:

[seekayess]

Ground testing the 2nd stage moon rocket!

[ix_touring]

The space cadet-skis had a good feeling about this years box car race :}


iX

[ix_touring]

Bruntingthorpe Aerodrome take no chances with this years fast taxi demonstrations.

iX

[Buster Hyman]

A radical redesign of the F35 brought the program back on schedule.

[Longhitter]

Environmentalists were less than impressed by Lady GaGa's new hairdryer.

[D John]

O/K, seeing I'm off to the mountains for the weekend, I'll hand it over to the winner.........

give a big hand to 'FinelyChopped' with:

'There had been reports of petty pilfering on the flightline':D:D:D:D:D

cheers & good luck for the futiure,

-John

[D John]

Any idea if russian groundcrew are issued with hearing protection?:confused:

cheers,

-John

[Shlonghaul]

Any idea if russian groundcrew are issued with hearing protection?

Yes however there is a lot of petty pilfering on the flightline :E

[FinelyChopped]

I'm having a bit of bother with suitable (or even unsuitable) pictures at the mo, so I shall rest on my laurels and pass on the honour to ACW599. I hope this is acceptable.
Over to you!

[D John]

No problem Finely, actually ACW's caption would have been runner-up.

"Well, Bloggsie, you've got the cockpit and start checks hacked. But did you miss anything on the walkround?"

(Good answer Shlonghaul!):p.

cheers,

-John

[ACW599]

Omigawd. Have at this:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v327/gw4frx/4NAJk81.jpg

Judgment Day will be 17 Mar 10 at 1200.

[Roadster280]

A clear illustration of "Making like a swastika"

[Buster Hyman]

He's well & truly trucked now...

[D John]

News update:
After almost five hours, authorities are still following the brownish trail left by the driver as he fled the scene of the accident.........

[Buster Hyman]

"No, the truck is in perfect condition & I wont sell it for any less than...HOLY F#%*!!!"

[Shlonghaul]

Pilot John "Kamikaze" Highman lived up to his reputation

[aseanaero]

"Taliban Aviation Academy proudly announces that it has sent it's first student solo"

[FinelyChopped]

Call Autoglass® on 0844...

[EyesFront]

Bit late on the round-out again there, Hoskyns

[airborne_artist]

A nasty case of CFIT*

*controlled flight into truck

[Krystal n chips]

It was subsequently later and gently explained to Bloggs that, whilst the Royal Navy from whence he came, may have a long held tradition of ramming anything they felt like with their ships,there were some slight differences with regard to aircraft.....

or

"Herc pilots you said, bloody amateurs you said, now let me show you a real Khe Sahn approach you said "

[Rather be Gardening]

The Board of Inquiry was not convinced when Biggles told them he'd been distracted when Michael Jackson and Elvis had run out in front of him.

[brickhistory]

On tonight's episode of "The Grandees of Tijuana"

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v327/gw4frx/4NAJk81.jpg


"Jez some bueno muchacos, never meanin' no harm..."

[S76Heavy]

"Screw the treehuggers and global warming, I'm not going to drive a magnet powered truck anymore!"

[Groundgripper]

Next time you nick a beacon, make sure the damned thing's switched off first!

[ShyTorque]

Toyota's accelerator pedal product recall was still ongoing...

[Siggie]

You'd have thought that having seen this on the Caption Competition before, they'd have moved the truck by now.

[ACW599]

>You'd have thought that having seen this on the Caption Competition before, they'd have moved the truck by now.<

Oh b*gg*r, sorry -- must have missed that one :O

[Siggie]

Understandable with 432 pages to trawl through. :}

[Buster Hyman]

Dirty Truck? Try our new Prop Wash!

[aseanaero]

http://www.asean-aerospace.com/aviation_photos/4NAJk81.jpg

[Faithless]

The Taliban way of "how to deal with plane spotters" :E

[Hempy]

guy on left 'You're crapping yourself? I'm the pilot!"

[Howabout]

Yet another bungled assassination attempt by the CIA in Columbia as the deal was going down.

[gileraguy]

See what happens when you don't counter the torque with left rudder!

[622]

..I told you we needed longer jump leads..

[fallmonk]

Mayor Boris Johnston takes training for the London olympic 100m and long jump to extreams!!!!!

[Runaway Gun]

I told you we should have worn dayglo yellow vests !!

[Ian Corrigible]

After reviewing the results of the first operational employment of the Iraqi Air Force's new Hellfire-armed Cessnas, the U.S. Air Force Security Assistance Training Squadron announces that additional training will be undertaken, focusing on CONOPS and weapons release procedures...

I/C

[ix_touring]

The latest proposal for low cost smart weapons was a partial success... the weapon found the target but missed the smart bit....

iX

[Buster Hyman]

Once again, the Cabin Crew were the first out after an "incident"!!!

[seekayess]

Good thing we left the truck there!

[Hempy]

It was at that moment that Bloggs realised his instructor wasn't asking him out to witness his Friday night attempts with the ladies, but actually said "Watch the pickup truck!"

[ACW599]

Firstly, apologies for not having realised that this pic had been used before. Seven days' jankers.

Some nice entries but the one that caused a coffee/keyboard moment was Krystal 'n' Chips with:

"Herc pilots you said, bloody amateurs you said, now let me show you a real Khe Sahn approach you said "

You have control, sir.

[Krystal n chips]

ACW,

Whilst one is flattered to be the recipient of your plaudit, after the, ahem, "saga" that ensued last time I had to post a photograph, may I suggest it would be prudent if you kindly selected one of the many excellent runners up please.....me and IT having a certain antipathy to each other at times......

[ACW599]

I know the feeling. Me and IT don't always get on either :-)

In that case, the runner-up is ShyTorque with the highly topical:

Toyota's accelerator pedal product recall was still ongoing...

Take it away. . .

[ShyTorque]

Thanks! After all this time it's getting more difficult to find fresh pictures; I hope this one is new here.

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y290/shytorque/military-humor-55.jpg

[ACW599]

"And this is the signal for rotor brake on, insert chocks".

[Jimmy Macintosh]

1981...

"If this helicopter ever enters into service, I'll perform Swan Lake on the apron."

2010...

"Crap, I thought everyone had died that heard me say that."

[seekayess]

The next entrant in "Britain Has Got Talent"!

[fallmonk]

Due to budget constrantes a mix up with Arttic camo has been sent to stan

[Togue]

...and this is the way POWs will dress ...:E

[S76Heavy]

The real NR fairy shows up in theatre..

[ZOFO]

I see in cabs, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear pappa.

My apologies to any other "Python" fans out there.

Nice to be back though !!

Zofo

[Buster Hyman]

A picture taken moments before the first reported injury during Operation Nutcracker.

[Shlonghaul]

Corporal Klinger has just arrived in Afghanistan

[shawtarce]

A Freak and a Merlin.

What a strange combination.......

:cool:

[Siggie]

Anna has had too many Pavlovas.

[Buster Hyman]

Dancing with the SAR's....

[622]

No Bloggs, I said guard the flight line with a 7.62...not a .'22'

[Buster Hyman]

RAF unveils new UAV.
(Unmanned And Vag**aless!)

[The Nr Fairy]

S76:

Oi ! I resemble that remark :)

And for the record have NEVER tried a tutu :)

[ix_touring]

Jolly green now clear of runway 05... and 22

iX

[Runaway Gun]

I'm ready for my fitness test now. Us ladies do have lower times, yes?

[brickhistory]

USO shows have declined since Bob Hope passed...

[Buster Hyman]

Desmond never really got the irony in his name...

[Shlonghaul]

England's cricket captain model's the new uniform for the upcoming Ashes tour ..... :E

[NutLoose]

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y290/shytorque/military-humor-55.jpg


RAF Merlin Aircrew Limber up for their imminent absorption into the Royal Navy..



"I said get "Another Gun" NOT "A Sugar Plum", with our imminent transferral to the Navy, fairies will be plentiful"............

[MostlyHarmless]

Typical, the quality of the WRAF has improved significantly since I left.

[Buster Hyman]

Don't ask, don't tell!

[Howabout]

The ballerina, from the visiting troupe 'It Ain't Half Hot Mum,' is currently under investigation for supplying 'dancing lessons' to RN personnel.

[ShyTorque]

Time to judge, I feel, as entries have ceased.

It could only ever be:

S76Heavy

The real NR fairy shows up in theatre..

(Especially as he did, not long after, to object to his name being used in vain :p ).

Please take it away, S76Heavy! :D

[Buster Hyman]

http://www.clipartguide.com/_named_clipart_images/0511-0701-3117-1335_Skeleton_Behind_a_Business_Desk_clipart_image.jpg

[ShyTorque]

In this case, I think The real NR Fairy should be offered the chalice instead!

NR Fairy, please do your worst! :ok:

[S76Heavy]

I'm sorry Shytorque,

a combination of work and a hard disc crash kept me occupied.

Can't seem to link to the picture I wanted now, so I pass the baton to the NR Fairy

[ShyTorque]

No worries. :)

[The Nr Fairy]

Ah. Yes. Hmm. Unexpected honour mumble mumble.

Try this one:

http://www.funnymediablog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/military-humor-8.jpg

Judging sometime on the Easter Monday - won't forget this time :)

[Buster Hyman]

Dog: "Missed again...tosser!"

[seekayess]

Dog: Just as I suspected! That bitch is two-timing me! Get that Dog-Romeo for me, will you?








Haven't we done this one earlier?

[Dan Gerous]

The blonde haired cnut is Sick Boy, leave him for now. The asshole with the skinhead is Renton. He's the cnut that shot me in the balls, nail the bastert.

[Buster Hyman]

Dog: "Up a bit...left...left...too far, back a smidge...fire! Excellent! Got it. Thanks for that, I'll remember the tin opener next trip...promise!"

[ShyTorque]

Cat, 12 o'clock, two hundred yards, bushy topped tree. In your own time, open fire!

[bowly]

Yeah, that's him, the git that keeps making me jump through all those ruddy hoops on families days. 'Ave 'im.

[Cows getting bigger]

Dog: "Did I tell you that you have nits?"

[Lafyar Cokov]

"No - I'm telling you, its: take a deep breath and PAWS before you pull the trigger!!!"

[ix_touring]

That's the spirit Pte Pprune, with a bit of practise you'll get enough lemmings to have enough for a lovely coat like mine by next winter!

iX

[ix_touring]

When tri-service training goes wrong: The Navy CO requires a Dog Watch system that's implemented by an Army range officer....
:}
iX

[Buster Hyman]

Dog: "Well, yeah, it was a nice shot...but can you lick yer own balls?"

[brickhistory]

Helluva ghillie suit, Hans...

[Jimmy Macintosh]

The role of the gun dog has changed a lot over the centuries.

[Buster Hyman]

"Ooooh...Nutshot! You're one sick puppy Bert!"

[monkeymanagement]

OK we've got no cover, no camouflage and 30 enemy coming and he wants me to hold my breath in time with him! Apparently my 'panting' puts him off - reminds him of the wife on their wedding night, or something!

[Ian Corrigible]

…the only downside to Cpl. Furlong’s grouse shoots with Bruno the retriever being the 15 minute wait between each successful shot…

:E

I/C

[hum]

Sniper to spotter: "Shh... any sign of that guard dog we saw on the way in...?"

[LurkerBelow]

Go get it yourself, I'm not a retriever...

[Buster Hyman]

Trust me, sticking your tongue out really helps.

[Sand4Gold]

"No, go for the Pedigree Chum."

[ix_touring]

Dog: "Look I don't care how many times you tell me or even show me... I've got paws not hands!"

or

Grunt: "... put the red dot on the target..."

Dog: "but I'm colour blind"


iX

[Kiltrash]

Go on then punk, make my day

or

When I'm hunting pu$$y

[pohm1]

http://www.funnymediablog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/military-humor-8.jpg

Guide Dogs For The Blind were condemned for their most recent training developments.

P1

[Buster Hyman]

Dog: "Hey Bert. Are you sure this was the grassiest knoll you could find?"

[NutLoose]

The RAF police dog team once again puts the brains in charge of the operation.

[brickhistory]

Muzzle velocity?! I'll show you muzzle velocity...

[Faithless]

No-no I asked for a spotted dog!

[clicker]

My bitch doesnt need to wave her red knickers.

[Togue]

Lucky human.... there's headwind and I just farted.

[The Nr Fairy]

As promised - didn't want to embarrass myself in public like I did last time I won :)

Second place goes to NutLoose with this:

The RAF police dog team once again puts the brains in charge of the operation.

But it has to be pohm1 - anything which makes me laugh out loud HAS to win:

Guide Dogs For The Blind were condemned for their most recent training developments.

Well done !

[pohm1]

Thanks NR Fairy, here's my offering. Not too easy, but I'm sure that some witty minds will be able to make up the conversation that went along with the presentation.

P1

http://rafinegyptandaden1950sduddings.co.uk/images/My%20father%20receiving%20the%20Corornation%20Medal%20-%20RAF%20Khormaksar%201953.jpg

[toptobottom]

"Gosh sergeant, my hands are all a tremble. Are you quite certain nobody will see us undress out here?"

[Lafyar Cokov]

Wg Cdr Farquhar-Jones and Seargent Smith come a poor third in the 1958 RAF Aden "Make the light between your shadows looks a little bit like an erect phallus" competition.....

[Buster Hyman]

"You're quite fetching in those short trousers Seargent, are you sure you haven't been up the Khyber Pass? I always remember a knee..."

[ShyTorque]

It's quite alright, you can trust me. I'm an RC Padre.....

[brickhistory]

"It is quite understandable; it's a very natural reaction. But one day - in a week, a month, a year - on that day when, God willing, we all return to our homes again, you're going to feel very proud of what you have achieved here in the face of great adversity. What you have done should be, and I think will be, an example to all our countrymen, soldier and civilian alike. You have survived with honor - that, and more - here in the wilderness. You have turned defeat into victory. I congratulate you. Well done."

[pohm1]

"I don't mind telling you Sergeant, these medal ceremonies never fail to make me feel a tit."

P1

[bowly]

Yes Sgt, we'll all be home by Christmas '62. Now, must dash, I'm meeting the Hussains and bin Ladens for dinner. Splendid children........

[Jimmy Macintosh]

The dredded double handed nipple twister, didn't even make Sergeant Smith flinch, all but guaranteeing his promotion.

[NutLoose]

Oh I am glad you like my Skirt Sergeant, those shorts fair chafe you know..

[Buster Hyman]

"Ouch!...I got a little prick."
"Err...right you are Sir...that's a Fiver to Bertie then...":oh:

[andrewmcharlton]

"Always been a breast man Sergeant, don't you know..."

"Yes Sir, I feel a tit too Sir."

[NutLoose]

There's a bit of sh*t on your shirt pocket Sergeant........Not on my end Sir..







Ahh the oldies never fail ;)

[seekayess]

Sgt, one of these days, hopefully, there will be a pretty blonde for whom I pin on the medal!

[EngAl]

I think you should skip the sandcastle competition next year sergeant and give the kids a chance.

[gileraguy]

WCDR: "now, Sergeant, you might feel a bit of a prick..."

as the men chorus: "So what else is new?"

[622]

Even at the annual Officers v's NCO's footie match strict discipline was observed with the NCO coming smartly to attention before being fouled.

[pohm1]

http://rafinegyptandaden1950sduddings.co.uk/images/My%20father%20receiving%20the%20Corornation%20Medal%20-%20RAF%20Khormaksar%201953.jpg


Taken in the days when "Pin the tail on the NCO" wasn't seen in the same discriminatory light that it is today.

P1

[Cows getting bigger]

Sgt Stacker receives a bar to his Jobsworth Medal for ensuring 100% desert boot deficiency.

[pohm1]

A worthy effort from EngAl gets the runner's up medal with

I think you should skip the sandcastle competition next year sergeant and give the kids a chance.

This weeks winner is Cows getting bigger with

Sgt Stacker receives a bar to his Jobsworth Medal for ensuring 100% desert boot deficiency.

Over to you.....

P1

[Cows getting bigger]

I'm so honoured.

http://www.raf.mod.uk/rafcms/mediafiles/gallery/10AB364A_5056_A318_A8EB8DFEB8E261E5/LYN-10-003-055-out-U.jpg

[bowly]

OOOOH, a woman with a weapon. You make me soooo HOT.............oh bugger.