Caption competition

[ACW599]

"I'll just tweak it a shade more, sir, and then you should be able to get Radio Five Live as well".

[Right Way Up]

Told you I had a big chopper!

[6Z3]

# "...I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground....
.......You can hang out with all the boys...."

[Top Right]

The new in-sleeve refuelling pipes issued to TSW certainly saved time on hot refuels

[MostlyHarmless]

Although on budget, the BAe solution to the "Hot and High" Ops problem wasn't going down too well in the field.

[622]

All good so far...judging tomorrow !!

[Lafyar Cokov]

"C-FJAD - when I said Hold over the woodland area, what I meant was...."

[GasFitter]

"I'm not sure who has the biggest skid-marks, Skipper, but all I can say at this moment, is that the ones I'm looking at are quite big!"

[Hempy]

secret photos smuggled from Ukrainian Womens Weightlifting Team training camp raise suspicions...

[622]

Ok, the time has come..

3rd Place
A great late entry from Hempy "Secret photos smuggled....."

2nd place
Airborne Artist "Having to carry the A/C....."

1st Place
Clicker with his great winning entry of "Berts ceiling fan concept...."

Well done Clicker, the baton is yours.

[clicker]

Thanks 622,
Dont think we've had this one yet,
http://www.atomic-album.com/showPic.php/58091/medals.jpg

[clicker]

Thanks AIDU,

Brain now in gear.

clicker

[brickhistory]

And this is how I ride my current horse................














Bonus caption:
It IS possible to sleep standing up (look at the guy to the right of the same line where the action occurs....)

[airborne_artist]

"If you feel a bit weak at the knees, just make sure you fall forwards, my dear"

[SirToppamHat]

"Are these home grown and organic?"



(Though I don't think I can compete with AIDU's, who should get the prize right now!!!)

STH

[ORAC]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/graphics/2007/09/01/moustache/m5.jpg

"I say chaps", said Biggles, "I think I've found a stoolpigeon".

[SirToppamHat]

ORAC

I think you may have mis-understood the concept of this thread;).

STH

[Flingingwings]

" Two paces forward. Quick march!"

[Dan Gerous]

"and whats your name young man"
"Bob, Captain Blackadder"

[ZH875]

I remember when Camilla's were up there.....

[Brian Dixon]

"At your targets in front....... In your own time......... Carry on!!"

[Lafyar Cokov]

I bet you £5 Million I can make your tits move without touching them........

[Hempy]

Are they issue?

[PICKS135]

And you say they called you Bertie, before the operation ??

[ACW599]

"Bloody hell --first he talks to his plants and now he thinks he's Yoda"

[foxbat68]

"Hello, Biggles here. Just met a man with a seagull on his head. Name of Cliff apparently."

[splitbrain]

Did you know I've met the Three Degrees, they were a handfull too.

Or,

If pater were here now he'd have made some crass comment about your tits, but I'm not going to make that mistake.

[Crash alot]

"and you say they are quite firm?.......may i try them?"

[Lafyar Cokov]

When I'm King I'm going to be a bit more 'hands on' than the current Monarch - come and see me then!

[airborne_artist]

"Now that's a USL to be proud of"

[ozbiggles]

Takes me back to my old radio operator days
Come in Tokyo, come in Tokyo

[GasFitter]

As the Colonel-In-Chief, do I get first go on all the new equipment?

[Romeo Oscar Golf]

I think I'm in love with them, whatever that is!

[ACW599]

"I'm invoking droit de seigneur with immediate effect".

[6Z3]

ROG,

:):D good one

[clicker]

Due to lack of any more captions its results day.

Third place goes to

ACW with
"Bloody hell --first he talks to his plants and now he thinks he's Yoda"

Second place

ACW599 with
"I'm invoking droit de seigneur with immediate effect"

And first place goes to

Dan Gerous with
"and whats your name young man"
"Bob, Captain Blackadder"

Well done DG, over to you.

clicker

[Dan Gerous]

Oops a bit slow picking this up. Have a go at this.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v382/toom317/03.jpg

Will judge next Sat/Sun unless it grinds to a halt.
Dan

[Roadster280]

The attempted "cool pose" of the pilots was somewhat undermined by the 1960s Cadillac fintail mudguards.

[Lafyar Cokov]

Well we look the part, bring on the young ladies - we are ready for anything. You did bring the featherlites didn't you nav....

Featherlites - I thought you said Micro......

[Mach the Knife]

"Dude, where's my jet?"

[brickhistory]

Due to the scheduling mix-up, the only resolution had to be helmets at ten paces

[PICKS135]

QRA 2020 at Leuchars awaiting scramble

[6Z3]

Come on horse, a couple of helmets of unleaded should easily get us back to the field, and no one will be any the wiser.

[splitbrain]

A room for two at the best hotel in town - $1500
A microlight hired to take you from the hotel straight to the airport...$400
Remembering where you parked the jet the night before....$Priceless.

[Brian Dixon]

The proposed Tucano replacement was an embarassment. The test pilots made sure the coast was clear before walking to the crew rooom.

[Lima Juliet]

http://www.ttvnol.com/uploaded/gulfoil/su_27skm_demonstrator_and_chinese_models.jpg

I'll start this one off. "Get away from me you dirty fembots!"...

[Airborne Aircrew]

Err... You're supposed to win the previous competition before you get to post your own piccie...

I believe there is a delete button when you select "Edit" for saving yourself any embarrassment... ;)

[ACW599]

"Well, I didn't like to say anything but I didn't think you'd signed for the right frame in the first place".

[PICKS135]

you had to say SENGO's missus had a fat ar*e did nt you

[Lima Juliet]

Sorry, didn't know the rules.

WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT LOOK AT THE PICTURE 3 POSTS ABOVE...IT IS NOT PART OF THE CAPTION COMPETITION. (Nice photo though!).

:ok:

[Safeware]

Dateline 2107:

CAS completes the solo checkride of this year's ab-initio pilot, now on to formation flying.

sw

[TyroPicard]

Get back in quick - Leon's airfield looks a lot better!

[GasFitter]

I think I signed for a twin-sticker. Can you see it anywhere?

[6Z3]

This Green Cross Code malarkey is getting beyond a joke.

[6Z3]

Hey Chilbrain, you should've worn your mini and thong instead of the Oakleys; we'd have got a lift half an hour ago.

[ShyTorque]

This year's "over-dressed poser" competition was a dead heat between two gyrocopter pilots.

[PingDit]

NEWS FLASH........

A large mechanical female mosquito was seen to carry out an ellaborate mating ritual with an RAF Tornado before devouring it. The RAF Regiment are apparently in search of a large fly-swat.

[Hempy]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v382/toom317/03.jpg

"With evidence of its low budget obvious, this reviewer could only give BBC2's remake of TopGun - 3 stars"

[harrogate]

Due to a 10 knot headwind, the RAF's 2008 RIAT airshow offering arrived at a deserted Fairford 4 days late.

[6Z3]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v382/toom317/03.jpg
.
Hey Heatrash, your feet are 9 oclock 50 yds, seen mine anywhere?

[PeteBee]

Hey bud - why are the techs all rolling on the floor? We did warn them we were bringing the new gnat!

[Airborne Aircrew]

The depth of the most recent defense cuts became clear when the formation flying team went to find their new "steeds".

[C_Cret]

"There's only 1 seat, so quick while no-one is looking paper-scissors-stone to see who goes on top!"

[622]

Look, you're the Navigator - you tell me where I parked the damn Tornado !

[gareth herts]

When pushed for an opinion, the synchro pair confessed that they weren't all that impressed with their new steed.

[The Nr Fairy]

Could be worse mate, at least it's only got a single lever . . .

[BattlerBritain]

"Goose - where'd he go?"

"Where'd who go?"

[Milt]

We're the Hellarwe.

[C_Cret]

Mate, you'd think that the new JSF would be a tad larger?!

or

Dude, does my bum look big in this?

[PICKS135]

What do you mean you told 'Beagle' if the Vulcan flew again you'd fly this !!

[c-bert]

Dude! Hehe, our helmets are touching, hehe....

[Hempy]

all dressed up and nowhere to pose :}

[Len Ganley]

Once again, BWOS had misread the requirements for the new GR aircraft

[WhiteOvies]

Nope, even with the shades on I can't stand to look at that ginge any longer.

[Lafyar Cokov]

What do you mean, "A black belt doesn't go with green G-Pants - just cause you don't have one....!"

[Rather be Gardening]

Yves St Laurent's new Mix n Match outfits for same gender weddings included a chic little handbags and gloves ensemble.

[Sand4Gold]

Nav, are you sure this is Waddington?

[Dan Gerous]

Gents, I'm having internet connection problems, so I will judge this now while I still have a connection.

MID's to Split Brain and White Ovies (that is so cruel Ovies)
3rd Picks 135 for his SENGO's wife post.
2nd Lafyar Cockoff for his Microlight/Featherlight mix-up
1st Mach the Knife for "Dude where's my Jet".

Well done Mach, over to you.
Dan

[c-bert]

Seems Mach the Knife is AWOL. Anyone else have a photo they'd like to contribute?

[gareth herts]

How about this?
http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e185/garethstringer/fredgrundy.jpg

[Crash alot]

"Great so not only is our budget shrinking, but the bloody steps as well!!!"

[clicker]

"Does my bum look big in this?"

or

"Stop showing your bare ankle, my hands will be full with one pole in the aircraft as it is."

[brickhistory]

"Is it wrong to get all tingly at moments like this?":E

[No_Speed_Restriction]

"I see you baby, shakin' that a$$"

[c-bert]

"Tragedy! When your budgets gone and your legs aren't long it's tragedy!
When your jet's too high to reach the sky, it's tragedy"

- by Steps....:E

[splitbrain]

Under the latest budget cuts B&Q are awarded the contract for the provision of Aerospace Ground Equipment to the RAF. As a demonstration of its contractual commitment to maintain 'like for like' price parity with the high street, the cost of Loft Ladders rockets to £94,386 across the company's entire chain of stores.

[lowlypax]

Training starts for the attempt on the world record for the most people in a fighter jet.

[airborne_artist]

'ere, 'ow do you 'ot start one of these, mate?

[Dan Gerous]

Bloke sitting on intake, "lets face it, thats the only way you'll be getting your leg over F3 fly boy"

[c-bert]

Bloke sitting on intake, "Oooh, look at me! I'm a marine!"









(No disrespect to the lads, BZ etc)

[mutleyfour]

"So, ave you found the Nav yet?"

[sitigeltfel]

"Excuse me sir, the front end is the other way"

[Roadster280]

Pilot looks at ground in embarrassment as fat Staish tries to get in wrong seat for jolly.

[ShyTorque]

Sorry, chaps! Blame the curry.

[Brian Dixon]

The latest cutbacks mean that all aircraft now have to be kick-started.

or

In order to pass the time, the crew decided to have a game of twister.

[passpartout]

Just get in and shut up, you fat basta*d

[ShyTorque]

The Nav patiently waited his turn to board, holding his black stick at the ready. As this was a day into night sortie the white one was was left in the Ops room.

[harrogate]

Ever since that fateful day in '85, pilots have reported seeing the ghost of Goose riding on their aircraft.

[wileydog3]

Jez.. not again.. he gets in, starts yellin' about no instrument panel, the seat being backward and the throttles being on the right side... and where the hell is my stick? WHY ME????

[NutLoose]

Pilot on the ground......... Once we get the ballast strapped in its my turn......... or we should never of got rid of the Jag at least that had a built in step

[Kolibear]

Realising that the pilot was deeply embarrassed by getting into the wrong seat, the Nav feigned a deep and intense interest in a passing ant.

[airborne_artist]

The directional consultant couldn't even find the correct steps to enter the aircraft. What chance he could find the target(s)?

[No_Speed_Restriction]

http://www.seeitornot.faketrix.com/content/thrash-pics/originals/plane-crash-pic-military-aircraft-accident-pilot-blooper-picture.jpg

have a go at this one

[gareth herts]

Who picks the winner??

[6Z3]

David Beckham signs his new contract, in red.

[Dan Gerous]

Who picks the winner??

The person who posted the image. The winner then gets to submit a picture , and picks the winner. The winner of that, then has to submit a picture, and pick the winner, who then submits a picture and picks the winner, who submits a picture and picks a winner.....ad infinitum hopefully

[gareth herts]

I think I'll go for Roadster with:

Pilot looks at ground in embarrassment as fat Staish tries to get in wrong seat for jolly.

PS I think we've already done the Eagle / car photo a few weeks back NSR!

[No_Speed_Restriction]

I'll get me coat! lol:rolleyes:

[PICKS135]

No Dad I get to sit in the front. Your just a passenger this time.

[backTOfront]

Another police high speed pursuit ends badly:}

[airborne_artist]

Roadster hasn't responded, so to keep things moving we'll set another challenge now:

http://z.about.com/d/usmilitary/1/0/o/n/photo-18.jpg

[45 before POL]

"Sorry we're full....kindly strap yourselves to the sides and away we go!"

[Rather be Gardening]

It slowly dawned on the lineys that the magnetised knee braces weren't such a good idea after all.

[Brian Dixon]

Doubling up on the centrifuge brought the running costs down even further.

[BattlerBritain]

This is how you bump-start it son....

[gareth herts]

"No no no - don't touch that, leave it alone!"

[Runaway Gun]

Are you sure this is how a gas powered turbine works?

[PICKS135]

Does my bum look big on this ?

[Hempy]

quick, is that lighter ready?

[622]

Are you sure this is how you walk the plank ?

[ZH875]

The Navy demonstrated their new 'Barrel Training' method

[South Bound]

Poor techie, never noticed the dynamic duo of the QA world creeping up on him...

[Roadster280]

Bugger! I win, spend the day enjoying my beautiful Weber, then look what happens. Oh well, thanks to AA for stepping in to the (Heineken filled) breach.

My effort this week: "How many arseholes does it take to change a blade?"

[6Z3]

The "I-Can't-Believe-its-Not-Butter" girls finalise their latest flapping to equality display routine.

[brickhistory]

When NOT to yell "Dead b*g!"

[ShyTorque]

The board concluded, from the photogaphic evidence and a statement of the witness, that the accident happened when someone said "OK boys, just hold your legs bit higher and I can slip my end in.."

[C_Cret]

"Right guys, the game is extreme chicken....when the blades rotate the one with no feet left wins!!"

[splitbrain]

OK guys you know the routine, I'll tickle the carb while you kick it over.

[XV277]

Juan de La Cierva re-considers his 'flapping blade' method

[PingDit]

'New improved super-efficient magnetic design helo blades attracts the attention of groundcrew's steel toe-caps'

[EyesFront]

The barnstormers display team rather lost their heads when practicing their wing walking routine on a helicopter

[SALAD DODGER]

Trials were going well with the 'bottom-BERP' blades for the Future-Lynx!

[dwhcomputers]

Ladies and Gentleman May I present the latest 'Rum, Bum, & Backy boys display team routine

[Roadster280]

AA has graciously asked me to adjudicate this week. Judging will be 1600EDT (2100 BST) 26 Sep.

[Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!]

The tandem parachute completely reorganised the way we learned to skydive.

Then people started skydiving with surfboards. . .

[Roadster280]

Well, it's scores on the doors time:

In at no3, Hempy appealed to my earthy side with:

"quick, is that lighter ready?"

At no2, splitbrain with:

"OK guys you know the routine, I'll tickle the carb while you kick it over."

And the winner is.... C_Cret with:

"Right guys, the game is extreme chicken....when the blades rotate the one with no feet left wins!!"

C_Cret, congratulations, you're "it".

[C_Cret]

Thanks Roadster,

Try this one:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/149/332284300_706aa523b7.jpg

[c-bert]

"That Yellow Jersey is mine this time Mutley!"

[ZH875]

The Green Party demonstrate their environmentally friendly replacement for the Bren gun carrier.

President Brown spends the last of the defence budget on a new tank. Unfortunatley, due to contractual problems, the engine, bodywork and main gun will be vastly overbudget and 30 years late.

[airborne_artist]

"Well Sir, it's light weight, air-portable and easy to service, so it fulfils all the the requirements for FRES"

[clicker]

"Pedal faster Sir, Granny is upset we've nicked her trike, her grandson wants his trailer back and I've run out of paintballs."

[FormerFlake]

With France re-entering the military aspect of NATO new tactics are introduced to stop the French and Italians running away.

[Wader2]

Who picks the winner??

This could have been a winner for the F15/car in its own right :}

[Top Right]

Rehearsals for Op NIMBY Phase II - shelved after the success of Phase I

[Sand4Gold]

"Hey Joe, when the Boss said he didn't want to see another trailer disappear, I'm not too sure this is what he had in mind"

[622]

With Russia flexing it's muscles - the BAOR is strengthend.

(British Army On Raleighs)

[gareth herts]

Quote:
Originally Posted by gareth herts
Who picks the winner??
This could have been a winner for the F15/car in its own right
Damn - missed a trick there eh Wader!
Anyway, for this one:
"Sir, why can't I use one of those covered trailers over there?"
"Shut up and keep firing"

[TMJ]

Ricardo demonstrate the versatility of the WMIK concept...

[Lafyar Cokov]

The Mark 2, with the rearward firing gun was a much better concept after a number of tragic 'engine failures' on the deployment of the Mark 1

[brickhistory]

Yellow Brick Road speed trap....................

[Roadster280]

When I said we need some Mechanized Infantry, this is NOT what I had in mind!!

[teeteringhead]

"Captain Blackadder Sir, I have a cunning plan......."

[splitbrain]

As the government desperately tries to play down the latest street crime figures, Raleigh unveils its new Shoppa-Bike.

[PICKS135]

Eurofighter reveal what they WERE going to do with the guns from the Typhoon

[Dan Gerous]

"If you don't stop singing "Daisy Daisy" I'm pointing this the other way"

[MostlyHarmless]

Now if only we could afford some ammo after blowing our budget on the new wheels...

[PingDit]

'SWO takes action after reports of excessive noise at playtime from Cranwells Initial Officer Training Course'.....

[Rather be Gardening]

Having been personally responsible for doubling the PVR rate overnight, the officer Loader organises a welcoming committee for anyone else who tries to get off the train.

[ZOFO]

"Overstretch" never C/T Smith and SAC Prolapse knew at the end of their shift that they would be able to deliver a serviceable frame of some sorts airworthy or not

[XV277]

"RAF Regiment cuts begin to bite"

[Airborne Aircrew]

In keeping with the "two force" doctrine the Army demonstrates it's replacement for the RAF.

[6Z3]

The uprated Formula 1 version makes extensive use of kevlar. Oh and...
.
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/149/332284300_706aa523b7.jpg
.
...a Phalanx gun!

[Brian Dixon]

NOTHING was going to get between Tomkins and Bloggs and those last two pairs of size 8 desert boots.

[Milt]

"Ok Rear Gunner; We'll get you a gunsight and some wings on this tomorrow!"

[6Z3]

As the RSPCA dog-pound workers' strike moves into its fourth week, 1000 troops are recalled from Basra to mobilise the MoD's ageing fleet of 500 Green Doggess straycatchers.

[Almost_done]

Privates Smith and Jones failed to understand the message, 'shoot off to the NAFFI for the buns'.

[The AvgasDinosaur]

And if you pass the fast jet assesment you get a two wheel front element ||
Be lucky
David

[ACW599]

The new pre-DHFS streaming element for Apache suitability attracted plaudits for its low cost, but critics considered its predictive reliability rather low.

[ShyTorque]

But boss, I thought you said you'd got me a job on the new Tri-DENT!

[Hempy]

The Regimental RATTS (Recoil Assisted Tricycle Training System) replaces pedal-power with fire-power, and is popular with fat NCO's everywhere.

[Wyler]

The British 'throw everything they have left' into the first attack on Iran'.

or

'Stretched but not broken'.

[Len Ganley]

MOD PR Dept face a tough challenge convincing the public that the new
Afghanistan Recce Vehicle is safer than a Snatch Landrover.

[PingDit]

Army rat infestation hits new heights....

[6Z3]

CapComp addicts dispatch a posse to track down C Cret.

[TyroPicard]

Off to the 'Stan, padre?
Yes, dear boy - thought I might take along a Vicar's Gunbus...

[6Z3]

CapComp addicts dispatch a posse to track down C Cret.
Fresh out of ideas and CapComp patches, the posse opts for the Cold Turkey shoot. :\

[Rather be Gardening]

In the absence of C Cret, perhaps Splitbrain could judge?

[6Z3]

Happy now Granville?

[splitbrain]

Well it needs judging coz its run out of steam.

I win...:}

[C_Cret]

All, my sincere apologies for the lateness of judging....the current climate and all....however, here are the contenders.

Third place goes to ZOFO with:

"Overstretch" never C/T Smith and SAC Prolapse knew at the end of their shift that they would be able to deliver....

In second place Rather Be Gardening with:

Having been personally responsible for doubling the PVR rate overnight, the officer Loader...

And the winner is Lafyar Cokov with:

The Mark 2, with the rearward firing gun was a much better concept after a number of tragic 'engine failures' on the deployment of the Mark 1

Well done

[Rather be Gardening]

Mr Cokov, where are you?

[MostlyHarmless]

I think the ball is in your court, me old...

[Lafyar Cokov]

Sorry - PC Broken again.......
Here we go, try captioning this one with out the term 'EasyWet' in the sentence.......
http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q166/lafyarcokov/easywet.jpg
LC

[clicker]

"Bristol, Good afternoon Squeegee Jet 123."

"Squeegee Jet 123, Cleared to land runway 15, braking action good, runway damp. Oh by the way we've lost a grooving machine, tell us if you see it please."

[splitbrain]

"Another doofus falls foul of blindly following his TomTomGo."

Or

"I don't care if we DO have to wait for the tide to go out before Easy 123 can come onto the ramp Mr Thompson, you were 13 seconds late and the check-in has now closed.

[Flik Roll]

Looks like somone got their armbands and engines confused....

[SOTV]

The Captain regretted the extended hold with the National Pensioners Convention on board.

:}

[brickhistory]

Oh, sorry, thought this was the 'Sea Jet' thread.......

[ACW599]

"Easy 123 departing on a Welly 2 Romeo . . ."

[ShyTorque]

"Hey, Skipper - wonder why they've just changed the ATIS to Damp, Damp, WET...aah.. S**T!!"

[PICKS135]

OK Moses do your party trick then

[Alber Ratman]

I asked for a compressor wash, not a soak check!:ugh:

[The AvgasDinosaur]

One way to cool the brakes after a STOL landing.
Be lucky
David

[Milt]

"Wasn't there a square root in that formula for aquaplaning?"

[The Nr Fairy]

Now, if we take it really slowly, get a bow wave going, then we won't get water in the intake.

[Brian Dixon]

In an attempt to reduce the turn-around time, the new 'scoop' refuelling system wasn't that successful.

or

"Easy Jet One-Three, Splash One"

[The AvgasDinosaur]

"The health and safety are really getting tough on the lifejacket drills these days"
Be lucky
David

[Rather be Gardening]

In retrospect, Stelios thought that participating in the Wash & Go commercial had been a bad decision.

[S76Heavy]

EZYcruise was not the instant success they had hoped it would be..

[The AvgasDinosaur]

Somewhat grey haired Captain to newly qualified First Officer
"Water Injection ?, we used it all the time when I was your age, no worries son"
Be lucky
David

[Dan Gerous]

Well we wont be having this hassle when we get the Iraqistan contract

[PingDit]

"Tower - Easy123, cancel the honey wagon - too late"

[RubiC Cube]

After a light shower, the Chief Executive of Bristol Airport was still adamant that there was not a problem with drainage on the runway.

[gareth herts]

The cleansing process for foot and mouth and bluetongue start impacting on air travel.

[VitaminGee]

"Tower, this is EZY 123, confirm the local controller has been replaced by a Harbour Master."

[scamptonboy]

ATC: Easy 1234, when I cleared you direct to Trent I didn't mean the bloody river!

:ok:

[622]

The new 'Nervous Flyers' EasyJet service hits an early snag as the lavoratories are quickly overloaded on taxi.

[Crash alot]

"skipper, i know its not my place to question.......but im sure this isnt quite what ATC had in mind when you asked for a wash down"

[wileydog3]

Check with Operations and see if we have takeoff data for calm winds and 2 feet of water...

[South Bound]

Easyjet's experiment carrying pregnant women beyond 28 weeks fails dismally as waters break collectively in rows 15-43...

[FinelyChopped]

I know I said "bog-standard landing", but this isn't what I meant...

[BattlerBritain]

EasyJet unveils the latest replacement for the 'Kipper' Fleet.

[CleartoFire]

The AWC report great success in the first successful trial of the WBU34 MOAWB-Mother of all water bombs.

Coat, hat etc.

[Spam_UK]

ATC: "EZY32 Do you require the latest weathers at Bristol?"

Pilot: "Affirmative, yes please"

ATC: "Weather for Bristol, Information Bravo, Rwy 26, Sea State 1, QFE etc.etc."

[XV277]

Low level P-8 Trials hit a snag.

[ACW599]

"EZY123, Bristol Ground, did you say downwind or downstream?"

[C_Cret]

'When they told me I'd be streamed right out of trainnig, I didn't realise it would be quite as in depth!!'

[Adam Nams]

AHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...................... ....

that's better!

[Rather be Gardening]

In the absence of Mr Cokov, and having come second last time, I judge Picks135 the winner with

OK Moses do your party trick then

Over to you, Picks.

[PICKS135]

Blinkin flip I didnt expect that.
Anyway try this

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v379/f4phixeruk/pilot0036.jpg

[GasFitter]

Pilot: "Make sure you pull the flush and wash your hands when you've finished!"

[Roadster280]

"I can't find "landing procedure" in the index".

[dagowly]

"the new USAF on-the-job training scheme was finally at full swing"

[brickhistory]

Yes, dear, I AM listening to you...............

[ZH875]

That's the last time I let the Pilot select the in-flight porn.

[WhiteOvies]

I just read the articles, honest love!

[clicker]

"No, I told you I'm not going to help you. You got us into this mess, so you can get us out, and I keep telling you I'm not a navigator!"

[SOTV]

Owing to the negative g forces, little Tommy couldn't work out if he was coming or going.

;)

[Speedpig]

Never mind what I''m doing, you face the bloody front!

[PingDit]

"OK, at the next roundabout, take the 3rd exit for Leeds"....

[Rather be Gardening]

".... 'and then the big bad wolf ran off into the woods'. Right, that's the last story you get this trip, now do me a favour and land the bloody thing, will you?"

[splitbrain]

DEAR CUSTOMER
Thank you for purchasing this McLockheed Northoeing product, we hope it gives many hours satisfaction.
Note: If you are reading this manual for the first time and are currently in flight, please turn to P97 - Landings (keyboard guide).

[Milt]

"Amazing! Says here that you are a Top Gun."

[ShyTorque]

"Hey, Biggles- it says 'ere that our lookout is second to none!"

[EchoMike]

"It says right here, very clearly, the pointy end is the front!"


Best Regards

Echo Mike (Ground School Instructor - and these guys are NOT MINE!!!)

[Dan Gerous]

"Well if you'd bought the extended warranty, we could have just sent it back, you cheap Bstad"

[PingDit]

"Damn! Can't seem to find the 'command eject from the rear' section!

[6Z3]

Nah, can't help you mate, it's in French.

[622]

Hey, there's a caption competition in here..

[XV277]

"Maverick, it says in here to keep an eye out for jetwash......."

[GasFitter]

"The Nav kit's not working, 'cos it says 'ere "BATTERIES NOT SUPPLIED"!

[C_Cret]

"Look, as I told you on the ground, I want a sincere apology before I do anything for you today!"

OR

"do you want to know how Harry Potter finishes?"

[Crash alot]

"Now what do i do with the stick again...............?"

[gareth herts]

It was always a special day when the Christmas edition of the Radio Times hit the shelves........

[Sand4Gold]

"Cracking advert, I wonder if the RAF would have me as a Loadie?"

[BattlerBritain]

"D'you think this disguise will get me passed the US Airport Security?" asks MP Shahid Malik, as he tries to get away with his MP Expenses takings.

(He topped the MP Expenses claims by the way).

[6Z3]

Only when you give back my What Diode? weekly.

[PICKS135]

As its all gone quiet I thought we may as well have some judging
In 3rd Place we have
Pingdit with "OK, at the next roundabout, take the 3rd exit for Leeds"....
In 2nd
Mike Jenvey with "Ah, you know that letter you sent to the Agony Aunt........."
But winning is
WhiteOvies with
I just read the articles, honest love!
Over to you

[WhiteOvies]

Apologies for the delay, work system will let me view but won't let me post as it seems I can never put in enough characters (despite ranting!). Anyway, it works fine at home so try this one from t'internet archives:
http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/83/03/23210383.jpg

[seekayess]

Ya heard the good news? We are allowed to take 'em back with us!!