Caption competition

[NutLoose]

Amazon delivers the BFG his breakfast egg and cup.

[Wensleydale]

Dockwise took the precaution of fitting parking sensors to its ships for their first female captain.....

[Danny42C]

Looks about as stable as that Cruise liner we're booked on !

[Danny42C]

"Quick ! - get that thing to sea before it hatches !"

[Danny42C]

"Never mind, Captain Union Jack is on the bridge - we're in safe hands !"

[Danny42C]

"Can you see it, too. Number One ? What was in that grog ration you doled out today, Bo'sun ?"

EDIT: (men in white coats come to collect Danny, as he can see it, too !)

[Hempy]

Hestons latest Masterchef macaroon challenge

[Hempy]

..and still, none of the English batsmen came close to hitting it..

[Buster Hyman]

There were some serious concerns about the new Love Boat...

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

It started out as a boil on my bum!

[Buster Hyman]

...once we have worked out how to minimise the size, I'm sure our new Naval Stealth technology will be a winner...

[Buster Hyman]

Humpty Dumpty sat on a Dock.
Humpty Dumpty had a big ****
All the Kings horses & all the Kings men
Joined the Navy...

[Buster Hyman]

The ingenious solution to the Space X reusable rocket system was to make the platform portable

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

The first of BAe Systems new radar fitouts for the navalised F-35 is delivered, although the company warned that there may have to be capability downgrades if the airframe constraints "unjustifiably" insisted upon by the service are to be complied with.

[ShyTorque]

"Full speed ahead, battle stations - here comes its Mum!"

[Danny42C]

"It started out as a Bouncy Castle - then things, sort of, got out of hand - and Elf 'n Pastry wouldn't wear it !"

[Danny42C]

(Inspired by Shy Torque):

"Its Mum was carrying it when she saw the Taj Mahal for the first time !"

[Danny42C]

"The engines canna tak' it, Cap'n !"

[Danny42C]

"Bit of a handful in a seaway, I would think, Carruthers - have lifejackets issued all round !"

[Danny42C]

"Are you sure it's A1 at Lloyds ?"

[Buster Hyman]

Well, because of Brexit, we have to bring everything back!

[PingDit]

Noel was sure that his new Mr. Blobby themed sea cruises would be a magnificent hit...
Just needed to finish painting the spots on...

[pasta]

"We used several contractors to build the radomes. As you can see, one of them thought the drawings were labelled in feet rather than inches..."

[Penny Washers]

Our early warning radar system suffers from a short range problem - so we are going to position this one in the Baltic.

[Danny42C]

"Isn't there a some sort of a limit on the weight of deck cargo we should ship ?"

[Lyneham Lad]

The latest development in cruise-liners - for dedicated golfers...

[JAVELINBOY]

The BFG's choice of hard boiled for breakfast was proving to be a logistical nightmare

[JAVELINBOY]

Left hand down a bit Mr Phillips or we will have egg on our face and Captain Povey will not be pleased

[NutLoose]

http://i.imgur.com/q0FDdXq.jpg


Damn, I told you not to flush the toilet when we were still standing in the Harbour.

[NutLoose]

The "2016 Pprune Hot Air Windbag Inflation Challenge" was going well, but it soon became apparent Buster was streaking ahead of the opposition.

[NutLoose]

Well, it wasn't there when I went to bed.

[Kiltrash]

Special delivery of ego for the Foreign Secretary

[Kiltrash]

Anyone notice the helter skelter bottom left....

[Danny42C]

"I think it's a mirage, Carew !"

[andytug]

"This is where the next Alien Queen will come from.!"

[andytug]

Out of shot to the left is the second rig carrying the "gun" half of the "Super-Phalanx " CIWS

[Danny42C]

"♫......for those in peril on the sea.....♫"

[ValMORNA]

Captain: "Take over, First Officer. I'm just going aft to the Smoking Room - 'elfin safety, you know. No smoking on the bridge."

[Danny42C]

"Sir, I think the cargo has shifted !"....."How so, Hoskins ?"....."Well it, sort of, fell overboard, Sir !"

[racedo]

"Suppository for Boris Johnson getting delivered"

[Buster Hyman]

Appreciate the lift mate. That water's too darn cold!

[Pontius Navigator]

Commander Bond Sir,

Ah, James, we have been watching Richard Branson' s new yacht but it disappeared off Bermuda. We want you to find it?

"What's it called, the Giant Condominium?"

Out!

after Andytug

[Danny42C]

"How is the damn' thing described on the Manifest, Number One ?"

[Penny Washers]

Britain's latest export - Sikh temples - made by Sikhs for Sikhs and exported wherever there is a need for even more of the things.

[NutLoose]

Just wait until they turn on the light.

[andytug]

Just shows how bulky those CFL energy-saving bulbs are, doesn't it!

[Danny42C]

"The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea in.." (well, it's no dafter than this !)

[pasta]

The Brobdingnag Olympic golf team arive in Rio...

[pasta]

Donald Trump assures voters that he will not use US Government assets to advertise his golf courses...

[pasta]

As the Russian Olympic Golf team arrive in Rio, Vladimir Putin refutes allegations of state-sponsored use of growth hormones.

[Buster Hyman]

The "2016 Pprune Hot Air Windbag Inflation Challenge" was going well, but it soon became apparent Buster was streaking ahead of the opposition.
And, as usual, Nutty's coming second....

[Buster Hyman]

Playing against the Russian Water Polo team was difficult as the goalposts kept changing....

[Danny42C]

"Never mind, if you shut your eyes tight for half a minute and then open them, it will have gone away !"

[Hempy]

Iceberg, straight ahead!!

[Danny42C]

"I've only got two Customs Officers here - and you expect us to rummage that !"

[Danny42C]

"The Mersey Docks and Harbour Board heaved a sigh of relief when this cleared the Bar Lightship !"

[andytug]

Freudian slip or autocorrect, Danny? :)

[NutLoose]

Jordan's new silicon implant has left the factory...

[jim's brother]

Delivered to the government at the river terrace of the Houses of Parliament, a new "Thinks Bubble" to replace the previous device apparently damaged beyond repair the day before Brexit planning was due to start last year.

[Buster Hyman]

It's a gift from the Trojans. They're actually a bunch of nice lads...

[Ascend Charlie]

"I TOLD you we couldn't fit through that gap, Hoskins! Now look what you've done, how will we get rid of it?"
"Well, how about we scrape it off on the Tower Bridge?"

[Danny42C]

Ascend Charlie,

Had these ready in magazine, really not plagiarism, AC, I assure you - but I would ask WeeJeem to disregard first and third in his choice. Better fire this lot off in case it happens again !

"No - it won't go through the Panama Canal !"

"What happens if we roll over, Sir ?"........"There'll be one hell of a Tsunami for a start, Hoskins !"

"No use Cap'n, we'll have to go round by the Cape"....."Why, is it too big to go through the Canal ?....."No, Cap'n - it's too big to go through the Straits of Gibraltar !"

"Where have Gormley's Iron Men gone from Crosby Beach ?"......"They saw this coming out of the Mersey and scarpered !"

"How are they going to get it off, Sir ?".........."Levitation, Hoskins !"

"When we've delivered this, chaps, we're going out to NZ to piggy-back some destroyer that the Navy drove on to a rock which Cap'n Cook put on the charts two hundred years ago !"

"When will we reach the Point of No Return, Navigator ?"......."When we cast off, Cap'n !"

[Buster Hyman]

Last time we docked here, they reckon the Skipper threw the biggest dummy spit ever! Well, he's keen to prove them wrong...

[Danny42C]

"There's a funny smell - I think it may be addled by now !"

[brakedwell]

Is the next hole par four or par five?

[Danny42C]

"Cap'n the engine really canna take it any more"........"Shurrup, McNab, and pile a bit more coal on !"

[WeeJeem]

[...] I would ask WeeJeem to disregard first and third in his choice.

So be it :)

So, the usual drill - a bit more time toolpusher few more captions out, and oi'll rig the results later this evening. :E

[Danny42C]

"Hoskins - you're the one who's always wittering on about not teaching grandmothers how to suck eggs...here's a Black & Decker, get on with it !"

[Danny42C]

" 'Twas on the good ship Venus........!"

[Pontius Navigator]

"When will we reach the Point of No Return, Navigator ?"......."When we cast off, Cap'n !"
Danny, priceless.

[andytug]

It's a gift from the Trojans. They're actually a bunch of nice lads...

The well-known manufacturer of prophylactics? :)

[andytug]

Humpty Dumpty was making damn sure he was stable this time!

[Danny42C]

"I think I've forgotten my Solar Topee ! We'll have to go back, Number One - put the ship about !"........."Can't, Sir - we're still in the Channel, and it's not wide enough for us to turn round !"

[Danny42C]

"No, Madam, this is not the Isle o' Man Boat, and I cannot put you ashore !"

[JAVELINBOY]

Boaty McEggface sails into port to join her sister ship Boaty McBoatface

[Danny42C]

"It'd make a grand omelette - if we had a big enough pan !

[Danny42C]

"No, Madam, I don't think it would fit in your microwave !"

[WeeJeem]

http://i.imgur.com/vRErp9X.jpg

And, as The X-Band Self-Propelled Semi-Submersible Of Time sets sail on The Ebb Tide Of Fate in its lonely search of the oceans for a mate, it's my pleasure to announce the witty winners...

pasta takes 3rd place with
The Brobdingnag Olympic golf team arive in Rio...

Hempy's in 2nd place with
Hestons latest Masterchef macaroon challenge

and andytug takes line honours with
Proof, if any were needed, that defence contracts are rigged.


Well done, andytug, you have the con :D:ok:.

[andytug]

Thanks WeeJeem, and here's the new starter for ten....

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTL4msYxignQFG6uy4FwOR2NyiI4leGerT3Wr2Q2QA-Z7DKzE8_8Q

[Hempy]

When you said that you needed to 'go and lay a cable', this isn't exactly what I thought you had in mind..

[Hempy]

C'mon lads, it's a great game. It's called 'pin the tail on the aircraft carrier'.

[Danny42C]

andytug - couldn't have happened to a more worthy winner !



"We shouldn't have put it away wet last time - it's gone all mouldy now !"

[WeeJeem]

"This is NOT what I meant when I signed up to join the Seals..."

[Background Noise]

I don't think I'm going to like this ski jump idea!

[pasta]

Are we quite sure this piece of elastic is strong enough to get that thing off the deck?

[MPN11]

OK, now attach the Wardroom piano to the other end ....

[Buster Hyman]

Are you sure you've played the Didgeridoo before?

[Danny42C]

"Fer Gawd's sake, don't turn the steam on yet !"

[Wander00]

We need longer tape measure

[pasta]

Now put the end into your jug of milk, and ask one of those guys in yellow to turn the steam on veeeeery gently...

[Hempy]

Tug'o'war? Bring it, bitches

[Pontius Navigator]

On my shout, two - six - heave.

[Pontius Navigator]

Scotty, we'll have the transporter cable rigged in a trice Capt'n

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Bloke way off in distance: "OK, I'll bring an aircraft over and hook it up. When I give the signal, you guys in the green shirts pull like blazes.......then duck!"

[pasta]

Yes, I'm sure you're very good at skipping together, but who's going to swing the other end of the rope?

[jim's brother]

"Grab the other end, Jim... I'm not sure if the Captain's 'communal-skipping' brainwave is such a good idea."

(Edit - you beat me to it by seconds, pasta!)

[Hempy]

"I see your shwartz is as big as mine!"

[Buster Hyman]

But Skipper, can't we just get Wi Fi like the Gerald R Ford?

[pasta]

Is that what they call a Navy Seal?

[Hempy]

Hestons latest Masterchef pasta challenge..

[WeeJeem]

Hey, where did our big radome go?

[Danny42C]

"I think it's the Great Sea Serpent that you used to see on old Charts. Has it had its lunch yet ?"

[Buster Hyman]

Ping Vassilli, ping! Not string!

[Buster Hyman]

Well, if you hadn't have left the lights on overnight, then we wouldn't need a jump start!

[WeeJeem]

"Hey, Jonesie! Jonesie! Hang on a tick! The guy here says that the 'E' in this new EALS system we're fitting is 'E-for-electromagnetic', not 'E-for-elastic'. "
"Gawdammit! You'll be telling me next that we have to take the horses out of the bridle catchers."

[pasta]

"No, it's spelt W-A-I-S-T. How long have you been using this to dispose of the ship's garbage?"

[Buster Hyman]

...and to think, I gave up flying rubber dog **** out of Hong Kong for this!

[WeeJeem]

Maybe if you guys pulled, instead of me pushing?

[jim's brother]

"I reckon this is one of the largest underfloor heating installations we've done so far."

[Wensleydale]

"I'm suffering from Hermes".


"Don't you mean Herpes?"


"No - I think I'm a carrier".

[jim's brother]

"Don't worry, Cap'n, this Flashband should stop the rain leaking through."

[Kiltrash]

So let me get this correct, The Air Boss is water sking and you want me to let go of the rope...

[MPN11]

Plug that end in, Charlie, and we can hoist that old "Mission Accomplished" banner again.

[Wensleydale]

"The rubber band has fallen out of the Hawkeye engine again!"

[JAVELINBOY]

There's a little **** at this end of the cable, whats at the other end?
No **** this end just a big ship

[simon brown]

Scroggs was hoping and praying the lads didnt take their feet off the hose pipe

[jim's brother]

We're installing the Capn's new hi-fi... the instructions said 'place the speakers as far apart as possible, and wire them with thick cable.'

[T28B]

The supply officer ordered too much licorice again ...

[ShyTorque]

"So how long IS a piece of string?"

[jim's brother]

Following recent criticism by Ofcom, BT Openreach technicians are seen here working to deliver fibre broadband to the more rural areas of the deck.

[Penny Washers]

Are you sure we can draw enough fuel from the C17 to keep this carrier going?

[MPN11]

The Captain was disappointed by the lack of support for the Tug-of-War competition.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

So what did the instructions say when running in a new rubber motor again? Was it wind 200 turns first and then 400 next time? Christ, we'll be here all bloody day!

[jim's brother]

"Is that the office? We're laying a cable down Albert Road, Portsmouth, in an existing duct - we know we're in the right place because we passed the Air Museum a couple of hundred yards back. Well, suddenly a terrific rumbling started under the road and the carrier disappeared from the cable. We really don't know where we're going on this one, and it's making us feel a bit sick."

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Bloggs! When ship-to-ship refuelling, you generally use another ship!

[Danny42C]

"Well, wherever else could the ship's cat have got to ? Hoskins saw it chasing a rat down the deck !"

[Buster Hyman]

Ahh, well we cut this line of Latitude when we crossed over it so we need to repair it & put it back again...the charts will be shot to pieces without it.

[NutLoose]

Murphy trials the worlds first horizontal bungee jump.


https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTL4msYxignQFG6uy4FwOR2NyiI4leGerT3Wr2Q2QA-Z7DKzE8_8Q (https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTL4msYxignQFG6uy4FwOR2NyiI4leGerT3Wr2Q2QA-Z7DKzE8_8Q)

[Danny42C]

"The Captain's subscribed to Cable Television !"

[Danny42C]

"We're not going to let it get away this time !"

[Buster Hyman]

Oh crap. We're out of Duct tape!

[Danny42C]

"It's the Lambton Worm - must've got aboard when we were on that courtesy visit to Newcastle last week !"

[jim's brother]

Black pudding for breakfast tomorrow.

[Danny42C]

"This is the worst case of tapeworm infestation in medical history !"

[Kiltrash]

Only hope Mav and Goose don't request a fly by

[Danny42C]

"Now they tell me that sea-snakes are venemous !"

[WeeJeem]

Are you sure this pusser's-condom-by-the-yard is the pukka stuff, and it's not retread or anything like that?

[WeeJeem]

Only hope Mav and Goose don't request a fly by

Jonesie was undecided whether he ought to tell his oppos that Mav and Goose were already lined up and inbound behind them.
The yellowjackets, on the other hand, knew exactly what direction to keep an eye on.

[Danny42C]

"Don't pull too hard - you might pull the plug out !"

[c52]

Prime Minister: "These new carriers must be kept on a short tether. I'm not having any so-called Captain sailing willy-nilly round the place."

OR

(Pathe News-type voice)
In the modern boating pool, there's no more need for the familar cry of "Come in, no. 7, your time is up." In Britian's resorts today, each boat will soon be attached to a rope so it can be pulled back by a team of specially trained boat-pulling athletes.

[Danny42C]

"It's a new voicepipe to the bridge !"

[Buster Hyman]

Concerned by freedom of navigation issues in the South China Sea, the US Navy decide to put to rest the question of where China's territorial boundaries actually are.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Sailor: Ok, I've got it all rolled out and nice and straight, now what do I do?
Petty Officer: Roll it up again!

[Buster Hyman]

I got this on mail order from Sweden. Now...what do I do next?

[jim's brother]

"I really have nothing against the Captain alleviating the boredom of life on the bridge by indulging in his French Knitting hobby, but I wish he would have more consideration for us down here who have to deal with the consequences."

[jim's brother]

"Before the ban, we would have simply coiled it up and put it in a carrier bag."

[NutLoose]

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTL4msYxignQFG6uy4FwOR2NyiI4leGerT3Wr2Q2QA-Z7DKzE8_8Q (https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTL4msYxignQFG6uy4FwOR2NyiI4leGerT3Wr2Q2QA-Z7DKzE8_8Q)


"Jesus, I never realised keel hauling the Skipper of HMS Ambush would be down to one man pulling the cable."

[Danny42C]

"careful - we may be unravelling the ship !"

[WeeJeem]

It was becoming clear that Jonesie had misunderstood the whole "bros before hose" thang.

[Danny42C]

"The Gentlemen must draw with the Mariners - so where the hell are they ?"

[MPN11]

"Hell, Chuck, this is the worst use of Bodge Tape* I've ever seen."



* ... or Black Nasty - YMMV ;)

[jim's brother]

"You would've thought Amazon would have coiled my 20m of 1/2" rope before packing it in bubblewrap and black polythene."

[Danny42C]

"Shouldn't there be a plug on the end of this ?"

[MPN11]

"This is like one of Danny42C's tales ... very long and very strong" :)

[ShyTorque]

"Yes, string is for pulling kid's milk teeth. We have to use this size for wisdom teeth"

[Danny42C]

"Shouldn't we have a capstan for this job ? "

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Built during the height of the great Climate Change scare of the early 2000's, the Navy's series of "hybrid" aircraft carriers suffered from a severely constrained operational range due to the length of extension cord fitted.

[andytug]

OK - warning klaxon, judging will be this evening GMT..........

[jim's brother]

"Before the new simulator arrived it was almost impossible to practice downhill skiing," a Navy spokesman said.

[Wensleydale]

This is what happens every 200 miles when you get your aircraft carrier designed by Tesla!

[Danny42C]

"It's the new de-gaussing cable for the ship"....."Then shouldn't it go round and round it ?"....."Dunno - Chief just said grab this and pull !"

[MPN11]

"Get off it, you two ... it's heavy enough as it is."

[Danny42C]

"If this is the winch cable, then it must be one hell of a glider !"

[c52]

BAe present the motor for the world's first rubber-powered, sea-borne, full-size balsa-wood aircraft.

[Danny42C]

"Wasn't there supposed to be a balloon on the end of this ?"

[andytug]

OK - Results time.....

Honourable Mentions to:

Traffic_Is_Er_Was for "Sailor: Ok, I've got it all rolled out and nice and straight, now what do I do?
Petty Officer: Roll it up again! "

and WeeJeem for "Hey, Jonesie! Jonesie! Hang on a tick! The guy here says that the 'E' in this new EALS system we're fitting is 'E-for-electromagnetic', not 'E-for-elastic'. "
"Gawdammit! You'll be telling me next that we have to take the horses out of the bridle catchers."

The BT and Tesla references all raised a chuckle, but the winner on sheer groan-inducement, is Wensleydale for

"I'm suffering from Hermes".


"Don't you mean Herpes?"


"No - I think I'm a carrier".


Over to you :)

[Danny42C]

Well done that man !

[Wander00]

The old one's are always the best - congratulations on being able to disinter it

[MPN11]

I will never get on the leaderboard at this rate.
I congratulate Wensleydale, and go and sulk.

NEXT?

[NutLoose]

Well done that man.

[Wensleydale]

Thanks all....


let's try this for size.


https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/94/Bundesarchiv_Bild_183-R01996,_Brieftaube_mit_Fotokamera_cropped.jpg

[NutLoose]

And with this device you will be able to focus your pigeon sh*t shots for maximum effect on joe public.

[NutLoose]

what do you mean, press the shutter, I don't have hands and when flying my wings are err busy.

[Buster Hyman]

And when I hold it up in front of me, I can take a Birdie!

[Buster Hyman]

Budget cuts were fully appreciated when the traffic chopper was sold.

[Buster Hyman]

Bloody Flapperazzi!!!

[SASless]

Performance deficiencies.....sorry mate it still out performs a Jaguar!

[Ascend Charlie]

Any of you birds want a photo of my pecker?

[Buster Hyman]

Well, I'm going to settle this accusation of being Pigeon toed once & for all!

[Buster Hyman]

"Well yes, I am a big fan of Flock of Seagulls. Can't wait 'til they get on stage!"

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/94/Bundesarchiv_Bild_183-R01996,_Brieftaube_mit_Fotokamera_cropped.jpg

[jim's brother]

"Just sign here and I'll release your camera. Thank you for shopping with Amazon!"

[andytug]

"Oh no - here comes that Dick Dastardly again!"

[ShyTorque]

Drone? Whaddaya mean am I a drone?

[andytug]

"Yes sir, new trial Pathfinder squadron. Following aircraft bomb on the white bits. Only problem so far is we've obliterated a lot of statues and not much else!"

[c52]

BAe's new maritime reconnaissance proposal is guaranteed to be almost 25% cheaper than Nimrod.

[Pontius Navigator]

Photo of Horace just before the Dams raid when he was chased under a car by a black dog.

[MPN11]

"And how am I supposed to take a selfie with this rig?"

[JAVELINBOY]

Just got to train it to say 'Watch the Birdie' or it may be a case of Bye Bye Birdie and back to the drawing board.

[MReyn24050]

Photo Recce? I thought he said "Time for Breakie".

[Danny42C]

"Has anyone done a "Weight and Balance" calculation on this rig ?"...."Thought not !"

[MReyn24050]

Whose idea was this? Neubronner's? More like a "No-brainer's".

[Danny42C]

"Who did the walk-around on me ?"...."Couldn't he see the loose lashings on the external stores ? "

[NutLoose]

"What do you mean, Hang on, I will just go get the tripod to slip into your backpack"

[NutLoose]

Pate's the name, I'm a press pigeon

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/94/Bundesarchiv_Bild_183-R01996,_Brieftaube_mit_Fotokamera_cropped.jpg

The moment Achmed the Syrian pigeon realised that tagging along with his mates to the ISIS recruiting centre may not have been such a good idea.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Google Earth 1.0

[Danny42C]

"Damn' - I think I left the lens cap on"

[Wander00]

No, Speckled Jim is my brother

[Cazalet33]

My name is Livingston.

Jonathan Livingston.

[Fly26]

shocked analysts blame the mating season for distracting Cuthbert from photographing the Tirpitz, this selfie was later found on 'birds and the bees'

[Pontius Navigator]

Walter continued to deny he was a spy in the sky

[MPN11]

The project was called Cooo-ing Keyhole 11
.

[Danny42C]

"Alouette, je t'plumerai !"

[NutLoose]

And with the nozzle in the down position you can hover, but anything over three minutes and it is roast pigeon on the menu.

[andytug]

The advance recce for a military coo..........

[andytug]

The Americans, of course, preferred to use Blackbirds.

[jim's brother]

"I still can't understand why they chose Bertie-the-Beetle instead of me to star in 'Eye in the Sky.' He's so insignificant!"

[MPN11]

Post-conflict, a Dove was used to monitor the peace line.

[Danny42C]

"I've just washed the car - don't even think of it"

[Pontius Navigator]

We had Picture Post and Pigeon Post. Now we have Pigeon Picture Post

[Danny42C]

" 'Oo you lookin' at !"

[Buster Hyman]

Bloody tourists!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Epson's new MFP (Multi-function Pigeon) feels a Fax coming on

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Despite public announcements from the Government to the contrary, Australian Border Force surveillance was starting to feel the budget cutbacks.

[Buster Hyman]

Giblets McCoo, War Correspondent.

[Danny42C]

"Why, oh why, didn't I stay in Trafalgar Square, where the living was good !"

[Wander00]

then this sparrow hawk came up behind me but I gave him a full burst from the rear gun and he disappeared......

[Danny42C]

"F-35 cancelled, then what?"....."Moi" ???:confused::eek::eek:

[Pontius Navigator]

Anyone done a weight and balance check on this thing? What happens when the effluent discharges?

[squeaker]

Watch the birdie!

[Danny42C]

Small scale trial of alternative methods of transporting heavy objects such as large brake drums on Spitfires.

(Sad story on ["Pilot's Brevet"], p.181 #3609 and p.182 #3629)

[jim's brother]

A reconnaisance pigeon called Lest
Had a camera fixed to his chest
He flew over Bonn
But his lens cap was on
He thought flying on east was for best

[MReyn24050]

"I no likea this Leica"

[MPN11]

"Birdseed calling Danny Boy" ...

[Danny42C]

"No, I am not a clay pigeon and you do not have to shoot me !"

[Dan Gerous]

No you fools, I said Maritime Reconnaissance! All those pies mmmm

[ValMORNA]

Dannybird culling Boyseed

[NutLoose]

Be careful up there, look what happened to the Turkey fliers..

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

A member of the pooparazzi.

[Danny42C]

"So I have a pigeon chest ? So would you if you'd had this damned contraption strapped on you as long as I have !"

[jim's brother]

"You think this is a tad bulky? You should see the radar and bomb bay strapped to my legs!"

[Penny Washers]

How else do you get a birds eye view?


Perhaps I should have told the bird that all it needed to carry was the roll of film. But then, it's not my pigeon.

[Buster Hyman]

Well, how else did you think we got those shots before Drones???

[NutLoose]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/94/Bundesarchiv_Bild_183-R01996,_Brieftaube_mit_Fotokamera_cropped.jpg

"When I said fly over the target and give it a quick squirt, I meant press the camera shutter!"

[NutLoose]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/94/Bundesarchiv_Bild_183-R01996,_Brieftaube_mit_Fotokamera_cropped.jpg



I don't care what it is, you're not sticking a USB port up there.

[jim's brother]

In a most welcome move, the UK Government has announced today that RAF Manston will be reinstated as a fully operational airfield where the MRCP (Multi-Role Camera Pigeon) squadron of the UK Border Force will be based. "We need this capability for surveillance of the UK's 7000 miles of coastline - RAF Manston's 9000ft runway is ideally suited to the MRCP, which will be known here as the Nimrod MRA5," said UK Border Force Director Aydin Marangoz.

[Pontius Navigator]

Whatever you do DON'T look at the camera.

[MPN11]

Never mind all that, does it make my bum look big?

[simon brown]

Instead of taking pictures of enemy lines, "Speckled George" the conscripted racing pigeon went AWOL and was last spotted heading home to his loft Wakefield

[Hempy]

Oi! When I said it was digital, I didn't mean that you could use the finger!

[Buster Hyman]

Latest images from the Turkey Coup...not what we expected.

[MPN11]

Will I need to change my take-off flap settings now?

[Art E. Fischler-Reisen]

"I have a Coo... I found that nudist colony...wanna buy some pictures?"

[jim's brother]

"When you're on a mission collecting data, when and where do you satisfy the need to provide a download to people on the ground?"
"I provide downloads whenever the need arises, and it especially satisfies the need when I provide downloads over cars."

[Dan Gerous]

If you want to know why Dick Dastardly and Mutley are after me, see my exclusive photos and report in the Daily Sport

[Danny42C]

"Wotcha, cock !"............"How dare you ! - I'll have you know I'm a hen !"

[Wensleydale]

Perhaps starting to slow a little? I'll judge later in the evening!

[NutLoose]

And if it is getting dark, rip the coat open, that is your flash facility

[Arm out the window]

I love the smell of guano in the morning ...

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

The European Space Agency's new launch vehicle , just after having "geo-stationary" explained to him.