Caption competition

[TyroPicard]

This is the last time those elves go joy-riding in my sleigh...
****
I'll give you elfin safety.......
****
Stop that elvish chit-chat!

[toptobottom]

Field tests for the SEALS' new 'stealth' winter uniform started early

[Buster Hyman]

Things were tense, but calm at the first Annual Christmas Pageant in Kandahar, until Mrs. Claus brought out the Bacon Butties, then all hell broke loose!

[SASless]

Drummer Boy....Christmas 2011!

[Dan Gerous]

Santa's twin brother Satan Claus.

[Goprdon]

I bet you did not know I was tooled up when you stole the children's presents.

[NutLoose]

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSst3iKaZUpvZ6ru4WPVnxX8CLFkCNhM3spE2FL1fW olpnRM1livrc56k1cFw


Added picture to page.

[Big Hammer]

Wow!! This new Ben 10 gear is too good to give away!

[SteveCox]

Santa was beginning to wish that Liz and Phil would stop having the grandchildren round for Christmas as fighting his way into the palace every year was getting a bit tedious.

[Buster Hyman]

This year, Santa was prepared for the Post Christmas sales!

[Buster Hyman]

When Santa found the Caption Comp on page 3, 6 days after the piccy was put up, he went ballistic!

[NutLoose]

Cease Fire, it's Fox 3 trying to get in to score the competition..

[Buster Hyman]

Santa was puzzled as to why some entries in the Caption Comp had disappeared...then he saw a mod!!! :eek:

(Ooooh...that's probably worth a weeks ban.)

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Sorry for the delay guys,

Third place: Buster with
This year, Santa was prepared for the Post Christmas sales!

Second Place: Canadian WokkaDoctor with
With the prospect of yet another Cliff Richard Christmas song release, Santa went postal.

but the winner is Neptunus Rex
♫ Chestnuts roasting on an...♫

OPEN FIRE!!!

...over to the God-king of the Sea

[Neptunus Rex]

Sorry, I don't have a photo handy, so over to Canadian Wokka Doctor.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

I happen to know Canadian WokkaDoctor is off the net for a few days, so........

Buster !

(I guess that's why it's a good idea to have a top 3)

[Buster Hyman]

Well...I still beat Nutty! :E

http://www.warrelics.eu/forum/military_photos/german-photographs-postcards/37381d1241976212t-funny-german-soldier-ec8ca554a699xg9.jpg

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

dagger...dagga..dagga!


*********************************

Recipe for Nazi Goreng:

First, get a Nazi to catch your chicken....

[CoffmanStarter]

Oberst Von Sanders spots a winning, post war, fast food franchise opportunity ... only to be beaten later by his American cousin.

[NutLoose]

Ve have vays of making you Squawk....


or

Herr Buster thinks he has pulled a nice little Chick for the night.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

German Wartime KFCs had a policy to combat obesity - you had to catch your own chicken!

[CoffmanStarter]

Plucking Chicken !!!

[NutLoose]

Vorsprung Durch Rungneck

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

I vas to be voken at 06:00, not 06:02!

vor zis you will DIE!

[622]

One of Hitlers 'Hen'chmen...

[NutLoose]

http://www.warrelics.eu/forum/military_photos/german-photographs-postcards/37381d1241976212t-funny-german-soldier-ec8ca554a699xg9.jpg

[CoffmanStarter]

Squawk 7700 ... Squawk 7700 ... is anyone receiving !!!

[Dan Gerous]

Tread lightly and carry a big stick. None of this "Vorsprung dur technik" nonsense, Fritz.

[ZOFO]

With the call up of an extra 3500 troops for the olympics, the catering facilities were a bit stretched to say the least

[SASless]

The German Army was proud to be non-political but upon swearing their Oath to Adolf Hitler.....fulfilling his promise of "A Chicken in every Pot" became a core mission.

[EngAl]

Achtung! Achtung! henemy in sight!

(I know, but 622 did it as well!)

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

After Tom Cruise and 14 other actors failed to catch a hen all day, 'Chicken Run' was redone in plasticine.

[CoffmanStarter]

Nazi fowl play ...

[NutLoose]

Deploy countermeasures (lay an egg)

[4mastacker]

Hauptmann Schultz was beginning to regret trying to prove there was a better alternative to choking the chicken.

[CoffmanStarter]

'Hen'de hoch !

[500N]

You will say "Hen Hitler" even if it kills you !

[NutLoose]

Herr Cutt, the new Station Barber found the final job assessment exam to be particularly challenging.

or

Herr Itler, the Health and Safety officer went about the task of decontaminating the site with particular zeal when it was noted the Chicken Coop roof was made of Asbestos.

..

[CoffmanStarter]

Bugger ... VTOL hasn't been invented yet ... a bit of VIFF would work a treat just now !

[Buster Hyman]

Neptunus Rex will call this one very soon, so last call folks...

Therefore...

Herr Nutty missed out on the Nazi equivalent of the Purple Heart when he explained that the injury occurred whilst he was chasing coq...

[NutLoose]

Herr Terry insisted that he didn't swear and used the plucking word when he called fowl

[NutLoose]

Why did he Chicken cross the road?

Because Herr Buster was strapped to it....

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

Even when brandishing a knife, Lieutenant Gruber still looked slightly camp!

CWD

[Runaway Gun]

Serco catering contracts failed to satisfy the soldier's hunger even in Germany 1942.

[ACW599]

"Donner und blitzen, ziss pay-as-you-dine iss getting schtoopid"

[Kiltrash]

G4S were found to be using tried and trusted methods to recruit into the security services when they were found to be 3500 understrength

[sikeano]

Where iz my golden egg

[Dunky]

"When I say you will Goose-step, I mean it, no excuses".

[OLD METL]

Ve don't need no stinking goose step!

[Neptunus Rex]

The results:
Honourable mention to Buster;

"Herr Nutty missed out on the Nazi equivalent of the Purple Heart when he explained that the injury occurred whilst he was chasing coq..."

However, as Buster provided the photo, I have to declare him ineligible.

In third place - Runaway Gun;

"Serco catering contracts failed to satisfy the soldier's hunger even in Germany 1942."

Second - Fox 3;


[QUOTE] "I vas to be voken at 06:00, not 06:02!

vor zis you will DIE!"

And the winner is Canadian WokkaDoctor (http://www.pprune.org/members/306684-canadian-wokkadoctor);

"Even when brandishing a knife, Lieutenant Gruber still looked slightly camp!"

Take it away Canuck Chopper Bopper!

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

Thanks Neptunus!

While acknowledging I'm opening the forum for some obvious fart jokes, try this one on for size.

CWD

http://i617.photobucket.com/albums/tt255/marcusjayneforsdyke/koreagas.jpg

[Dunky]

"Aargh, it was a ladyboy from Bangkok".

[cynicalint]

Oh my God! The British military has got the Olympic contract! G4S promised to us!

[NutLoose]

Arrrrrrrgghhhhhh Buster got another finalists place.........



.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

The Regiment Sergeant used to love the Graduate Entry Officer Courses

"Remove your mask and state your name, rank, number and educational qualifications":E:E:E





(This actually happened to the guy in front of me in the Chamber!)

[NutLoose]

Arrrrrrrggggghhhh Is this an Omen? a lightning rod with a cross on the end has just speared me through the back.



.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Yet another new recruit is told he can't take his iPhone on exercise.

[SASless]

Private Bloggs after being told he would have to escort Nutloose and Buster to a Story Telling Contest at the NAAFI.

[Buster Hyman]

However, as Buster provided the photo, I have to declare him ineligible.What the ....????? :suspect:

:p:p:p




Justin Bieber tours the DMZ.

***

Santa just took out my entire platoon!!!

[500N]

Student regresses to boyhood dreams of flying FJ's after being told he is being streamed Rotary !

[CoffmanStarter]

Private Ho still having trouble with the recent fly zipper mod to his combat trousers :E

[Rather be Gardening]

Weekly practice crying sessions for when the Glorious Leader waddles off to join the ancestors.

[lomapaseo]

The troops react in sickness horror and disgust when the see the new troop carrier has a plaque made in China

[EngAl]

We were promised we could guard the womens' beach volleyball and now we've been moved to mens' shot put!

[Runaway Gun]

"Nooo, we are being audited. They want 5 years worth of receipts!"

[Dan Gerous]

The Korean Stones tribute band put on a spirited rendition of "Jumping Jack Flash"

[Runaway Gun]

"Waaa - not Asian food again! This cheap civilian catering sucks!"

[NutLoose]

http://i617.photobucket.com/albums/tt255/marcusjayneforsdyke/koreagas.jpg

[OLD METL]

"Oh no, they closed the unisex shower!"

[Buster Hyman]

Roadside Bongs were a constant risk to the troops.

[toptobottom]

"Holy cow" was the wrong thing to say when the chef burned the steak on the Bar-b-que

[Neptunus Rex]

"She no virgin - Buster Hyman got there first!"

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

Annual fire training was always an ordeal for Captain Wu.

CWD

[Dunky]

"They used German Shepherd in the curry instead of French Poodle".

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

Results will be declared by 1200 EST on Thursday 19 July. That's not a caption!

CWD

[NutLoose]

"She no virgin - Buster Hyman got there first!"


Ohhhh yes she is, Size DOES matter.....

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Government admits Alan Sugar has been advising on Service manpower

"You're Fired!"

[SASless]

Nutloose aka "Tuna Can" and Buster aka "Needle Dick".....brought Pvt Chang to tears as they did a practice joust in preparation for the NAAFI Yarn Spinning contest.

[pohm1]

Previously undisclosed picture of Harrier Sqn pilots taking the news of their disbandment with characteristic poise and dignity.

P1

[NutLoose]

Private Wong realised he had lost the bet after Private Wang beat his cigarette smoke ring blowing entry by blowing his out of his arse.

Or

The North Korean honour guard broke down in tears yesterday when they realised the cremation of Kim Jong-il was going to take longer than expected and over run into the weekend..


Or

Don't go in there, they're smoking Kippers and it smells like the WAAF block during a heat wave.


.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

"I say Colonel; Do you think we're overdoing the Sensitivity training?"

[toptobottom]

At 53,000rpm, the battallion dentist's drill could remove an entire set of teeth in 24 seconds flat. Dang, it got hot though..

[ShyTorque]

"I did tell him to give the bog ten minutes after I'd got rid of last night's curry...but did he listen..no!"

[Buster Hyman]

The troops just realised that tonight's entertainment was "Nutloose's greatest hits from the Caption Comp"!

***

"She no virgin - Buster Hyman got there first!"
Oh...if I had a dollar....:cool:

Actually, I could use a dollar!

[OLD METL]

"Oh no, they closed the trans-gender shower!"

[NutLoose]

The troops just realised that tonight's entertainment was "Nutloose's greatest hits from the Caption Comp"!

Corrr, you think they are that good? thank you, sorry I cannot return the compliment :p

[Kiltrash]

In an effort to appear more westernised the Korean army finaly pubished proof that their products are not tested on cute little bunny rabbits eye's

[Buster Hyman]

Corrr, you think they are that good? thank you, sorry I cannot return the compliment http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/tongue.gif
It wasn't a long show...

[NutLoose]

Quality not quantity is what counts... :O

Sorry back to the comp.

[LurkerBelow]

You bastards, that was so unfair!
I mean to say: curry - baked beans - cabbage and onions - on top of prunes - just so unfair...(sob)

[622]

Ok....who's idea was it to show Team America at the N Korean Army annual movie night?

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

With only one fart joke posted, from LurkerBelow, I congratulate you all on your wit and imagination! I did like the iPhone caption by Fox3; however, there must be a top 3 and they are:

Third, with Roadside Bongs were a constant risk to the troops. is Buster Hyman;

Second, with Don't go in there, they're smoking Kippers and it smells like the WAAF block during a heat wave. is Nutloose;

But the winner is............Previously undisclosed picture of Harrier Sqn pilots taking the news of their disbandment with characteristic poise and dignity. by Pohm1.

Over to you P1!

CWD

[Dunky]

Private Blogs always had trouble with this interweb thingamajig.

Oh, it's gone now.

It's back, but no joy on opening the link.

I'm getting dizzy :E

[pohm1]

http://liveofofo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Naija-Army.jpg

Try this one for size.

P1

[Dunky]

"Hey, with these on I can see the pub from here".

[CoffmanStarter]

Tusken Raiders finally receive a much needed upgrade to their Night Vision kit ...

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

NVD 101: Only use in the dark!

CWD

[NutLoose]

In a landmark agreement David Cameron announced Nigerian Army staff will bolster Uk Troops and G4s staff in providing security at London 2012

Or

Ok you may think these masks, eye and helmet protection are overkill, but the SLR's we have issued you with are all ex RAF and believe me they have used these things for beer bottle openers through to pry bars, and even they wouldn't fire them in real life..



Beat ya Buster... Mooohhhhaaaaaaahahahaha.

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

The Royal Honour Guard turned nasty when they overheard Prince Phillip say "they all look the same to me".

Coat, hat ......door!

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Smithers, the PC brigade will have a field day when they find out this is your idea of 'Black Ops'.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

With the 4 Apaches arriving and the SAS on Standby,


G4S were just about ready for security duty on the Rhythmic Gymnastics.

[Kiltrash]

iPhone, iPad, and now the iGoggles, for private web surfing at night

[NutLoose]

I have no live rounds, empty cases or missfires in my possession Bwana...

[SASless]

Standardization was not a strong point of Nigerian Spec Ops.

[CoffmanStarter]

Trevor Baylis is now hard at work perfecting a personal windup power supply for NVD's given the chronic shortage of AA Duracell Batteries !

[NutLoose]

http://liveofofo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Naija-Army.jpg

Man on left....

"I am telling you guys, Buster isn't going to like it when he realises who's entry beat his.."



:E

[Roadster280]

Determined to succeed at least in something on the world stage, the Zimbabweans had sent their best "Shooting Team" to the Olympics.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

For his Stag Weekend, Ali G had decided that a real Gangsta shouldn't f#ck around with paintball.

[ShyTorque]

"Did he just call us Mutant Ganja Turtles?"

[Buster Hyman]

Sick of abuse from the Vegas crowd, the Minstrels took affirmative action.

***

In a confusing turn, Tom Cruise's Scientology Lawyers request evening settlement hearings...

[Rather be Gardening]

"Hey Winston, dat yo muvver over dere man. She say she wants her knickers back and if she catch you near de washing line again......."

[622]

What is this 'Specsavers' he's talking about....?

[Longhitter]

Bloke in the middle: "These are night vision goggles allright, broad daylight and through these it's pitchblack!"

Bloke on left: "Remove the lens caps, you tw@t!"

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Nick Buckles: "Well Minister, who did you expect us to get for 7 pounds an hour?"

[NutLoose]

Man on left..

"Ma mask is to tight mon, Ma lips canna stick out like yours mon"


Or



Man next to him,

"Yoo mon, stick yer cool shades down mon, they look like you have a c*ck on your head like dat mon"



.

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

Man on left, "I am Buster Hyman". Man on right, "no, I am Buster Hyman", etc etc.....

CWD

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

South African Big Issue sellers weren't going to take 'no thank you' from customers anymore.

CWD

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

Not to be out done by the USA, Congolese forces were also allowed to wear 'uniform' at the San Diego Gay Pride Parade.

CWD

[airborne_artist]

Second from left "Geeze - these X-ray specs are fantastic. I can even see a badly-packed kebab at 50 metres."

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

Lord Coe's hand-picked 'Brand Squad' took protecting Olympic sponsors 'rights' extremely seriously.

CWD

[Buster Hyman]

Okay white boys. Send out your Welshmen & lets play Rorke's Drift again...

[SASless]

A LIPS Section stood at the ready....Light Infantry Protection Service.

[darkroomsource]

Davitch?
Where's Davitch?

[PURPLE PITOT]

Olympic bobsleigh team not taking any sh1t this year.

Ein, zwei, drei......cool gunnings!

[Dan Gerous]

Well that was a f*****g waste of cam cream.

Does my lips look big in this.

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

In a communiqué from the Mugabe government, the Minister for Land Reform announced that the Land Transfer section of the Zimbabwe Veterans’ Association would "find those responsible for allowing the Caption Competition to slide to the second page!"
CWD

[SASless]

"Apocalypse Now"...the Zimbabwean version...."Apackoflips Now!

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

The G4S Supervisor said "Just a day's contract, nice crowd", so the lads thought AK-47s and NVGs would be about right.

[pohm1]

The flags are on the poles, please take your places on podium.

Bronze medal to Roadster with
Determined to succeed at least in something on the world stage, the Zimbabweans had sent their best "Shooting Team" to the Olympics.

Silver medal to Nutloose with
Ok you may think these masks, eye and helmet protection are overkill, but the SLR's we have issued you with are all ex RAF and believe me they have used these things for beer bottle openers through to pry bars, and even they wouldn't fire them in real life..

And Gold medal to (and not just because he picked me last time round,) Canadian Wokkadoctor with
The Royal Honour Guard turned nasty when they overheard Prince Phillip say "they all look the same to me"

Results are pending a compulsory urine test, so line up....

P1

[NutLoose]

Woooohhhooooo a coupe of silvers in a row and Buster still struggling to Tee off :p

Congrats Wokka

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

While awaiting the results of the relevant tests, I will post the new caption photo when I get home (I can't access photobucket at work).

CWD

[pohm1]

Woooohhhooooo a coupe of silvers in a row

Are you surprised, given your number of offerings?;)

P1

[NutLoose]

:O


Anything to keep Buster out of the top three :} and I enjoy doing them. I weep when I win because I can't enter :{

[Kiltrash]

What is the common denoninator

Buster
Greg

and now welcome to the club

Adam Scott

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

Wow,

2 in 3 weeks! Well for this Olympic week, I'm taking us back to aviation! Try this.....................

http://i617.photobucket.com/albums/tt255/marcusjayneforsdyke/decorafale34lu9.jpg

[SASless]

Bloggs swore never ever again to have the Vindaloo!

[Lafyar Cokov]

I know its an Air Force tradition to bring your dog to work - but when I catch the owner of that bloody Andrex puppy...........

[NutLoose]

Hey boss, G4s has sent over the paperwork they require you to fill out to become CAP qualified for 2012

[NutLoose]

We couldn't find any "Remove Before Flight" flags Sir, so this is the best we could come up with "Remove after sh*te" flags..

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

Needless to say, that the students of 103 'cours de préservation d'avion', failed their final practical exam.

CWD

[pohm1]

In these truly enlightened times, not only can the pilot marry the nav, but they can also borrow a company cab to getaway for the honeymoon.

P1

[SASless]

Jones....that is not what I meant when I said to "Get the paperwork done!"

[Buster Hyman]

Err, when you said "Watch out for the Falcons", I thought you meant F-16's...

***

F**k! I hate these iPod headphones!



Oh, and a big round of applause for Adam Scott...aka Nutloose! Welcome to the club.

[Big Pistons Forever]

- You MORON ! I said the jet needs to be ramped in Bagram not wrapped in Bog-roll


- After a complete cockpit cleaning as a result of an unfortunate, mostly liquid, inflight "accident" the ground crew wanted to remind the pilot why his new nickname was "fast jet "

[500N]

That's not what I meant when I said wrap it up for the day !

[Tashengurt]

"Told you it was multi roll."

[500N]

No one told me the bombers we were escorting were going
to be dropping a modern version of "Window" !

[Buster Hyman]

Bloggs you idiot! I thought you said we had a lot of red tape to go through before she's airworthy?

***

See, I told that MiG pilot shat himself when I got a lock on....





Tashengurt. :D:D:D:ok:

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

http://i617.photobucket.com/albums/tt255/marcusjayneforsdyke/decorafale34lu9.jpg

[Buster Hyman]

.....Gesundheit!

[500N]

I thought we had moved away from wire guided missiles to laser guided bombs ?


If we have to go back to fly by wire guided missiles, do you think they
could at least put the tether on a spool ?

.

[lomapaseo]

Another cut-the-bog paper stunt that went astray

[CoffmanStarter]

Bloggs ... Next time you trample the RAG make sure it's down !

[Kiltrash]

Evidence at last of why it is not generally a good idea for do a low level pass when they are drying out the fishing nets

Or

QE economy arrester gear works when tested with our carrier cousin

[ShyTorque]

Bloggs soon came to regret his low fly by at the wedding....

....especially when the chief bridesmaid was discovered stuffed up the right hand engine intake.

[622]

Peter wished his wife was home...she normally wrapped the presents.

[Buster Hyman]

Whilst the models were looking more realistic, Airfix's generic instructions were ludicrous!

[toptobottom]

All masked up and ready to go - ready for the paint now Banksy?

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

After 10 pints, the Typhoon sales rep had a great idea for showing that the Rafale was just 'bog-standard'.

[aviate1138]

To avoid upsetting any dog lovers the crew quickly removed the Labrador puppy remains from the nose cone.

[NutLoose]

Captn Chuck Buzzsaw of the New York National Air Guard decided that on the next return from Afghanistan he would not display so low during the welcome home ticker tape parade.

[Buster Hyman]

An early example of Fly by Wire.

[622]

Bloggs, When I said we should cover it in something absorbent to keep the Radar signature down, I was actually thinking of paint!......:rolleyes:

[toptobottom]

http://i617.photobucket.com/albums/tt255/marcusjayneforsdyke/decorafale34lu9.jpg

PJE? Should have read the NOTAMs...

[SASless]

The new Aircraft Disabling Technique was found to be "Green" but not very effective in Rain.

[Buster Hyman]

I said Ejector seat not....oh never mind, go have that cigarette...

[vulcanised]

MOD runs out of elastic bands again.

[CoffmanStarter]

Apparentlly the pilots name on the side reads ... Captain Imhotep ... Mummy that's spooky !

[MReyn24050]

Look, I know I said it is becoming a Christmas Tree, but there is no need to decorate the blasted thing!

[CoffmanStarter]

Clearly a few Quality Control issues with the latest batch of Chaff Cartridges then !

[CoffmanStarter]

This is how we play "Rock Paper Scissors" in the FJ World :}

[Avionker]

The Armée de l'Air were delighted with Dassaults Automated White Flag Deployment system.....

[Dan Gerous]

The job's not finished till the paperwork's done.

[Rigga]

...Merde!






...this bit has been added to get enough characters in the Post!

[Rather be Gardening]

Tracey Emin's 'Every Pilot I Have Ever Slept With' exhibit for the Turner Prize left the judges a bit underwhelmed.

[Baron 58P]

Disguising it as a bog roll fooled nobody, especially after take off....

[Dunky]

"We should never have told them it was a crap paint job".

[Buster Hyman]

French Aerobatic team go back to the drawing board after their experimental Chinese Ribbon Dance display is deemed a failure.

[vulcanised]

You were supposed to guard the 400m race, not bloody well win it !

[MReyn24050]

The Snowdrops tape off the scene of crime area.

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

Judging will take place by 12:00 EST on 26 July.

CWD

[lj101]

Ok, who saw where the puppy went?

[NutLoose]

Cor, and I always thought a sidewinder had explosives in them.

[pohm1]

Not quite what we had in mind for a paper exercise.

P1

[Fortissimo]

RBG: "Tracey Emin's 'Every Pilot I Have Ever Slept With' exhibit for the Turner Prize left the judges a bit underwhelmed."

Point of order: RBG should be disqualified on the basis that no real pilot would stoop so low and the exhibit would therefore have been a blank space...

[NutLoose]

Finally a use was found the manuscript "Buster, my life's story, the flushable edition" it might not of served any purpose, but it was a damn sight better than reading it....


:E
..

[jwcook]

"It was worth a try" mumbled Peirre, but the skid marks on the runway were still there.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Quick ! "Buster" the bog roll to that jet, "NutLoose" got excited and left a mess.:E

[Buster Hyman]

"...So there we were, pushing 55,000ft when the Nav says "Watch out for the parachute (http://www.heraldsun.com.au/travel/skydiver-felix-baumgartner-makes-stratospheric-leap/story-e6frfhb6-1226435586709)!", and I said "Don't be stupid" and then..."

[son of brommers]

The Chinese translation of the Reds display sequence had clearly missed the mark.

[Dunky]

"When I said I wanted a picture of the Typhoon showing "movement", this isn't the kind of "movement" I had in mind."

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

After Pierre had won the 'Taj Mahal' restaurant's Phal Challenge, the staff thoughtfully prepared his jet for the next morning.

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

With so many world class entries this time around, it was difficult to select those Pruners that made it to the Podium. A special mention goes to Rigga for ...Merde!, which I though was short, punchy and funny, but the Podium Pruners are:

In third with a Bronze is Buster with:
"...So there we were, pushing 55,000ft when the Nav says "Watch out for the parachute (http://www.heraldsun.com.au/travel/skydiver-felix-baumgartner-makes-stratospheric-leap/story-e6frfhb6-1226435586709)!", and I said "Don't be stupid" and then..."


In second place, with a Silver is Fox3 with:
After 10 pints, the Typhoon sales rep had a great idea for showing that the Rafale was just 'bog-standard'.

In first place, with a Gold medal is Trashengurt with:
"Told you it was multi roll."

So, gentlemen please face the flags and stand for Trashengurt's National Anthem. Take it away Trashman Gurt.

CWD

[Tashengurt]

Aw gee, you guys. Thanks for the honour but sadly I'm in darkest camp land with only this c**p phone to use. May I pass the baton to our deserving second place?

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

Fox,

Over to you.

CWD

[NutLoose]

So, gentlemen please face the flags and stand for Trashengurt's National Anthem.

That'll be the Irish Tricolour then, him being from nearly Scotland and all.... well it might be on the Olympic side of things, that is of course dependant on the UK winning a Gold.....


Busted by Buster :{

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Tip-top Number One photo
Your thoughts, Ladies and Gentlemen, please

http://www.funnyfunnyjokes.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/image017.jpg

[Dunky]

The new training method for CIED was quite extreme.

[NutLoose]

Ohhh no not again..

[SASless]

The Field research trials found 73 % of Army Troops fell for the Beer and 98% fell for Miss June where Navy sailors went 99% for the Beer 12% went for Miss June.

[NutLoose]

USMC training manual 101 ... Snap decisions, effects and consequences.



..

[Buster Hyman]

Once again, a member of the Birkenhead Regiment falls for the old Scouse Trap routine.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

..and you thought CFS Trappers were bad...

[Buster Hyman]

Officer candidate.

[Hydromet]

Successful officer candidate.

[622]

For catching desert rats!

[sikeano]

It says 'don't be nosey'

[Tashengurt]

"Stand back! This could be a trap."

[Buster Hyman]

(variation on a theme...)

"It's a trap!"
http://csironewsblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/ackbar.jpg

http://www.funnyfunnyjokes.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/image017.jpg

[Dunky]

The training Major always had a passion for the Boomtown Rats, in particular the single "Rat Trap."

[Kiltrash]

3 seconds later

Well it did seem a good idea at the time

or

Baldrick says, I have a cunning plan

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

Short on explosives, the Taliban 'bomb makers' turn to Intoxicated Entrapment Devices (IEDs) to weaken the 'invaders' morale!

CWD

[Art E. Fischler-Reisen]

"Say Cheese!"

[Tashengurt]

Derek's new security device failed to attract interest from Disneyland.

[NutLoose]

Realising troops on long deployments would be missing their wives, the MOD Mk1 comforter was rushed out to theater, designed by committee from soldiers feelings for their wives in which the following facts were gleaned, she lies down for you, but can be a bit wooden, occassionally she gets you a beer, but can be a Pain in the neck

[OLD METL]

"My God!"

"It's full of...fish!"

[Rather be Gardening]

The touring version of Agatha Christie's 'The Mousetrap' closed after running out of actors.




Remedial training aid for greedy bankers undergoing field tests.

[LurkerBelow]

"I gather that none of you have actually tried to capture an elephant before then?"

[Oceanz]

I'm sure the Highlanders RSM asked for a moose trap

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

The judging will be 1200Z tomorrow. I anticipate a full house with no security cock-ups, since Fox3 and not G4 is organising.

Last orders please!

[Howabout]

Conclusive proof that US Intelligence is second to none - 24,000 of these suckers, which are a steal at $2m apiece, will be deployed throughout the Stan. “Just add curry, general, and the Taliban are toast.”

[Kiltrash]

Its ok, its a friendly, its a Bud

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

This week's podium

Medaille de Bronze, Hydromet

Successful officer candidate. Medaille d'Argent, Kiltrash

Its ok, its a friendly, its a Bud Medaille d'Or, LurkerBelow

"I gather that none of you have actually tried to capture an elephant before then?" what are you guys on,down there?

[NutLoose]

Congratulations all and Lurker...... :D:D

[LurkerBelow]

Fox3: Since you asked, my brain is being slowly addled from the constant aftershocks...

In the theme of really big things, try this:

http://i785.photobucket.com/albums/yy140/Lurker_Below/a2j_disaster2006_HapLanding10.jpg

[Buster Hyman]

"......well, there's ya problem!"

***

Right, what have we learned here today?
Seat Nutloose over the main undercarriage?


(For anyone concerned, all crew survived.)

[Dunky]

"Do you think it'll glue back on?"

[green granite]

Whose Idea was it to include Antony Gormley on the AAIB team.

[pohm1]

I'm sure this will be an interesting tale....

P1

[NutLoose]

I told ya it was to big to use as an airbrake..

or

"Roll me over, i'm from Dover, roll me over lay me down and do it again"..

or

"So i told him you'll never get it in and he said, well, i'll take a Stab at it".

.

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

'sharpe intake of breath', well mate this is going to be expensive to fix!

CWD

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

Back on the ramp for tomorrow morning's tasking? Sir - I'm not sure if this one will buff out!

CWD

[lomapaseo]

a bit too much rotation on takeoff .... eh?

[SASless]

When the Lads were told they were off to pick up a piece of Tail....they had no idea!


Or.....

"Gee Dunno Fred! It wasn't here a few minutes ago! Who do you reckon left it here?

[Buster Hyman]

"...Part one comes with the complete tail section of a C5 Galaxy then, each month, a new piece of the aircraft will arrive for the insanely low price of $49.95!"

[Burnt Fishtrousers]

Engineering report

Remarks:Some thing fallen off aircraft.

Actions: have located "something" that fell off aircraft.Awaiting instructions as to correctve action.

[CoffmanStarter]

Bit of an extreme tail slide there Hoskins !

[Dunky]

The pilot had a feeling he didn't know where he was going in life.

[CoffmanStarter]

Nah ... A few tubes of Araldite and she'll be as good as new Sarge.

[CoffmanStarter]

Ok ... so which one of you idiots strapped the JATO on ass-about-face ?

[Runaway Gun]

"This ought to be good enough for extra accommodation for the Military Security teams at the Olympics."

[CAEBr]

On reflection, using the parachutists static line attachment point for the tank drop wasn't such a smart idea.

[CoffmanStarter]

In best Michael Caine voice ... "I told you just to blow the bloody doors off"

[CoffmanStarter]

Pesky Termites !

[Canadian WokkaDoctor]

Employing ex-Harrier pilots on the AT fleet wasn't working out so well!

CWD

[SASless]

"We're gonna need a bigger Tool Box!"

[simon brown]

It was discovered obesity was a problem in the US Army when a static line remained attached to the aircraft, during parachute jumping exercises

[CoffmanStarter]

The proposed C5 Deck Arrester Gear config needs a bit of a rethink before Sea Trials begin :E

[Buster Hyman]

In best Michael Caine voice ... "You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off" (Fixed) :ok:

***

The only remaining part from the Stealth Galaxy is returned to the US from Pakistan...

[EyesFront]

It's a bugger spending three weeks on an airfix kit only to find a critical part missing ...