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Caption Competition Mk III

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Caption Competition Mk III

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Old 9th Dec 2021, 18:06
  #7401 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
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“Are you wearing a mask?”

”No, Ma’am, it’s just the Botox treatment.”
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Old 9th Dec 2021, 19:27
  #7402 (permalink)  
 
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I don't care if he has just had another child, I'm still sacking him in the morning.


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Old 9th Dec 2021, 20:32
  #7403 (permalink)  
 
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Location: Great South East, tired and retired
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"Find the person who put purple dye in the handwash, and send him to the Tower!"
Ascend Charlie is online now  
Old 10th Dec 2021, 06:26
  #7404 (permalink)  
 
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It appears your Government have put forward to raise the retirement age to 90. Quoting your long life in one one job as the reasoning. ..
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Old 10th Dec 2021, 08:30
  #7405 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: QLD - where drivers are yet to realise that the left lane goes to their destination too.
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Marm, we were going to get that chair reupholstered, and we had some fabric sent up to do so, but it seems to have gone missing. You haven't seen it have yo........
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Old 10th Dec 2021, 09:10
  #7406 (permalink)  
 
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Last orders, scoring today so a new one can be up for the weekend.
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Old 10th Dec 2021, 14:23
  #7407 (permalink)  
 
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Ma'am, we have had the Prime Minister on the phone, asking does the Palace have any recommendations for contractors to re furbished the residential flat in 10 Downing Street...
Oh yes, give him the number of O'Rilley. I understand he did a wonderfull job at Fawltey Towers ...
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Old 10th Dec 2021, 14:49
  #7408 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
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"One would like it recovered in ... umm ... chintz."

"Bless you, Ma'am."
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Old 10th Dec 2021, 19:18
  #7409 (permalink)  
 
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"Mam, please may I ask that you stop covering yourself in copydex and running at the curtains"
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Old 10th Dec 2021, 20:45
  #7410 (permalink)  
 
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Once One threads these flowers through One's hair, One will be damn near invisible in the south garden.
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Old 10th Dec 2021, 20:50
  #7411 (permalink)  
Ecce Homo! Loquitur...
 
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I’m afraid I have some bad news about Mr Bond your Majesty, your next jumb from the helicopter will have to be solo…
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Old 11th Dec 2021, 06:57
  #7412 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
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HMTQ...a hat, A hat my Kingdom for a hat...
1SL...it's on the stand behind you...There meet King Nick I

Last edited by Kiltrash; 11th Dec 2021 at 07:08.
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Old 11th Dec 2021, 07:02
  #7413 (permalink)  
 
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I'm afraid Ma'am even the Charity shop has returned this chair....smells of wee
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Old 11th Dec 2021, 07:10
  #7414 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
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This was not the response I expected with a Internet search for " queen with pearl necklace "
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Old 11th Dec 2021, 10:54
  #7415 (permalink)  
 
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No your majesty, he hasn't judged it yet.
Right, then that's Nutloose off the New Year's honour list.
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Old 11th Dec 2021, 11:06
  #7416 (permalink)  
 
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Well I for one will not be watching the ' Duel in the Desert " I have had enough watching grown men racing round in circles, crashing into each other. I know it was Philips favourite pastime but one must move on...
Kiltrash is offline  
Old 11th Dec 2021, 11:10
  #7417 (permalink)  
 
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It appears the Royal Food Taster has come down with something nasty and contagious so we have had to close the Royal Kitchen, so what would you like for dinner, Big Mac and fries or KFC...
( other fast food outlets are available on Deliveroo )
( other food delivery services are available )
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Old 11th Dec 2021, 11:15
  #7418 (permalink)  
 
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It appears we have been approached by CH5 they would like to do a documentary on your ' Care in the Community ' experiences. However to make it show it warts and all they would like you to move into a sub standard council estate care home...and 400 tenants from Toxteth get to live in the Palace...
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Old 11th Dec 2021, 13:21
  #7419 (permalink)  
 
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Ma'am, I understand you have lost all confidence in your Prime Minister and unless the Conservative party replace him you will call a election ... As your parting gift to the Country we feel this will get you a gig with Andrew Marr and Kay Burley..
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Old 11th Dec 2021, 18:05
  #7420 (permalink)  
 
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Unfortunately Ma'am, according to Government Guidelines you have to work from home....now which house do you want to nominate as your home??
( Ps hope Nutty is alright &#128513
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