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Caption Competition Mk III

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Caption Competition Mk III

Old 4th Apr 2022, 13:33
  #9681 (permalink)  
 
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If I wanted a Stinger up my ass I would eat a Vindaloo..... See ya.....
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Old 4th Apr 2022, 14:38
  #9682 (permalink)  
 
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Yes, Piles do give you a ring of fire...
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Old 4th Apr 2022, 14:40
  #9683 (permalink)  
 
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As the Nav plummeted at terminal velocity to a certain death, he wished had not been having an affair with Helga, you know the Parachute packers wife. ..
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Old 4th Apr 2022, 20:33
  #9684 (permalink)  
 
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Way to late on the round out Hoskins!


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Old 4th Apr 2022, 20:40
  #9685 (permalink)  
 
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Special mentions for:
Andytug: 'Navski, do clouds normally contain tractors?...Navski?.........'
Dan Gerous: 'OK, Kiev is straight ahead, 100KM. I'm just going to get off here and walk back.'
Hydromet for getting cabbage and beluga caviar into one sentence.
Buster for 'Too close for missiles, switching to.... RUN!!!!!!'

However, I love a bad pun so in reverse order:

3rd Kiltrash with 'You know your in (t)rouble when the Autopilot bales out'
2nd Treaders with 'We are over Sweden? I'm not Putin up with this Special Operation anymore - tell 'em I got Stockholm Syndrome...'

But the winner (once again) of the CST for a Звезда pun is Nutty with 'Cyrillic Bang and the stain is on…..' CST will be delivered by Martin Baker due to sanctions preventing Zvezda fulfilling the contract.

Update 051426A mar 2022 - I have PM'd NutLoose

Last edited by SLXOwft; 5th Apr 2022 at 13:27. Reason: PM Update
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Old 5th Apr 2022, 14:23
  #9686 (permalink)  
 
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Thank you, Open house for low count people

Don't get all excited Buster, I am not referring to your sperm count
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Old 5th Apr 2022, 21:09
  #9687 (permalink)  
 
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Try this one then -


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Old 5th Apr 2022, 21:16
  #9688 (permalink)  
 
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I’ll teach the bastard to say he didn’t like my sticky toffee pudding..
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Old 5th Apr 2022, 21:19
  #9689 (permalink)  
 
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Who needs an apple corer when you’ve got one of these puppies…
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Old 5th Apr 2022, 21:34
  #9690 (permalink)  
 
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"I'll just hide behind the fridge to see who the person is who uses my dairy-free-gluten-free-low-calorie-no-taste soy milk."
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Old 5th Apr 2022, 22:15
  #9691 (permalink)  
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I've asked next door nicely to keep their cat out of my garden, but would they listen?
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Old 5th Apr 2022, 23:10
  #9692 (permalink)  
 
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My mother-in-law bought a Kalashnikov, but two can play that game!
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Old 5th Apr 2022, 23:31
  #9693 (permalink)  
 
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I hate it when my trigger finger gets cramp!
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Old 5th Apr 2022, 23:34
  #9694 (permalink)  
 
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If that meter reader dares to come near my meter again...
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Old 6th Apr 2022, 00:56
  #9695 (permalink)  
 
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And I can tell at sight a Zbroyar rifle from a Javelin.
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Old 6th Apr 2022, 02:06
  #9696 (permalink)  
 
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Ohhh cool, Jehovah’s Witnesses coming down my drive, I needed some practice…
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Old 6th Apr 2022, 02:06
  #9697 (permalink)  
 
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Just put that parking ticket on my car, I dare you…
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Old 6th Apr 2022, 02:08
  #9698 (permalink)  
 
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I could shoot the c*ck off a gnat at 1000 yds, but that nosey cow at No 9 will have to do.


..

Last edited by NutLoose; 6th Apr 2022 at 13:33.
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Old 6th Apr 2022, 02:14
  #9699 (permalink)  
 
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Right I’ve got my food processor out, now where’s that bloody noisy cockerel?
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Old 6th Apr 2022, 04:24
  #9700 (permalink)  
 
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I thought I bought a Humber Super Snipe off EBay, but the bloody auto-correct sent me an Umbra Super Sniper. No worries, once I work out how to use it, that rotten Fedex dude will be the first to go.
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