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Caption Competition Mk III

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Old 2nd Jan 2023, 17:22
  #16281 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jun 2022
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Bloke behind with hands in his pockets thinking: Hopefully he'll win this year's Darwin Awards.
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Old 2nd Jan 2023, 17:42
  #16282 (permalink)  
 
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“You see those bits of Gym equipment? Go use them, fat men.”
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Old 2nd Jan 2023, 17:49
  #16283 (permalink)  
 
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Yes, I use them when calculating our losses..... automatically divide what they see by a factor of 100.
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Old 2nd Jan 2023, 17:51
  #16284 (permalink)  
 
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No I don't need these when deciding if anyone is off side...they ARE when I say they are.
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Old 2nd Jan 2023, 17:53
  #16285 (permalink)  
 
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Now if only you had more men that can handle 14 rifles at once, I would not have to re introduce Conscription...
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Old 2nd Jan 2023, 17:56
  #16286 (permalink)  
 
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Normally Mr President small boys do that when they are pretending to fire imitation Weapons....Ah in Las Vagas the Police don't care. Fire first ask questions later.
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Old 2nd Jan 2023, 17:58
  #16287 (permalink)  
 
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When I was in the Moscow Olympics I was a great shot...with a bow and arrow....
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Old 2nd Jan 2023, 18:50
  #16288 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
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You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
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Old 2nd Jan 2023, 18:56
  #16289 (permalink)  

Evertonian
 
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This is only half of my disguise. Igor, pass me my fake mustache...
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Old 2nd Jan 2023, 19:07
  #16290 (permalink)  
 
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If you think it's that easy being a dicktator, see if you can do any better.



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Old 2nd Jan 2023, 19:49
  #16291 (permalink)  
 
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"If I hold the glasses like this, I can burn some ants! Great fun!"
(People standing around) "This guy suffers from the FITH* syndrome."



*FITH= F***d in the head
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Old 2nd Jan 2023, 19:52
  #16292 (permalink)  
 
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Vlad darling, please take your arm out of mine. We don't wany to make the other Generals jealous do we?
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Old 2nd Jan 2023, 20:10
  #16293 (permalink)  
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With apologies to Lord Nelson...
"I see no tractors!"
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Old 2nd Jan 2023, 20:12
  #16294 (permalink)  
 
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...then if you line up the ends of the glasses with the top of the spire, you can calculate how tall it is.
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Old 2nd Jan 2023, 23:03
  #16295 (permalink)  
 
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Wow! These glasses really do have a rose tint don't they!
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Old 3rd Jan 2023, 00:05
  #16296 (permalink)  
 
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What ! These eye protective glasses are made in CHINA !!!
You get me some good European ones NOW !
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Old 3rd Jan 2023, 00:09
  #16297 (permalink)  
 
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That is the axis of attack, So attack !

UMMMMM President Putin, you are pointing at Moscow...........
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Old 3rd Jan 2023, 00:39
  #16298 (permalink)  
 
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And if this attack fails, so help me, I'll make spectacles of you all.
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Old 3rd Jan 2023, 00:42
  #16299 (permalink)  
 
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No, no, no. When you couldn't read my reports, I said you should get reading glasses or hold them at arms length.
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Old 3rd Jan 2023, 03:03
  #16300 (permalink)  
 
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"THIS is how long a Cubit is, OK? Now make it forty cubits by fifty......"
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