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Caption Competition Mk III

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Caption Competition Mk III

Old 22nd Sep 2022, 21:31
  #13561 (permalink)  
 
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Assault rifle? What did SALT have to do with rifles?
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Old 22nd Sep 2022, 22:21
  #13562 (permalink)  
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I heard you will make your new HQ in Croydon come our splendid victory throughout Europe. But you will need this...
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Old 22nd Sep 2022, 22:29
  #13563 (permalink)  
 
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Comrade, your prosthetic hand appears to be stuck in a compromising position.
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Old 22nd Sep 2022, 23:44
  #13564 (permalink)  
 
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Vlad: "Are the windows in my office bullet-proof?"

General: "Da, but if you fire the whole magazine at the centre, it will make a big enough hole for you to accidentally fall out of."
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 00:10
  #13565 (permalink)  
 
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 00:56
  #13566 (permalink)  
 
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What are those two rods at the front?

That's your bipod, sir.

Don't you dare call me that!
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 02:27
  #13567 (permalink)  
 
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Got to have a go


Yes, we aim to roll it out as our standard army weapon but we are looking at a paired back version Boss

How paired back Sergei?

Well the sight is Swiss made, so we can’t get those any more, the bipod, rails, foresight and magazine are also American produced, so again we cannot get those, the barrels though are Russian, but unfortunately we use an exotic German steel, so those are unavailable to us, the stock and grips are produced in China and they are being funny about deliveries.

So basically you are telling me we just manufacture the receiver assembly Sergei?

Yes, that is 100% Russian boss, unfortunately we cannot get all the milling tools and machining equipment to manufacture them though, as they come from Japan.
But we do have hundreds of millions of Rounds for them in store, but ermmm…. They’re in Transnistria…
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 04:48
  #13568 (permalink)  
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...following on from Nutty's 13508

"So, Sergei, the only thing we have plenty of is live targets?"
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 05:50
  #13569 (permalink)  
 
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"So this thing fires nuclear guided bullets that only hit Ukrainian targets? And they can't use it against Russian troops?"

"Da, mine leader, test it by putting it against your own head and pull the trigger!"
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 06:43
  #13570 (permalink)  
 
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So it's still standard Russian military doctrine: "the one with the rifle shoots, the other man follows. When the first gets shot, the other... etc etc"?
Yes Mr Putin.
Good. Order the attack.
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 07:13
  #13571 (permalink)  
 
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So part one was successful, we repatriated 55 of our soldiers from Ukraine and all it cost us was 5 British Mercenaries. ...Sorry ...Fools...
So we can go ahead with part 2 ? ...
Yes they have all been brainwashed and we can reactivate them as sleeper agents with a supply off these. ...
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 07:16
  #13572 (permalink)  
 
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Why no silencer??
Oh Mr President ...the bullet is faster than the speed of sound, they are dead before they would hear the bang...
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 07:20
  #13573 (permalink)  
 
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Yes Mr President I picked this up at the trade fair in Texas. ...
Very good Sergio, but what is it??
It was clearly marked as a humain vermin exterminator. Seems to have kept their anti gun lobby quiet.
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 07:24
  #13574 (permalink)  
 
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Very good we have made 10000 of these in a month, now where are we going to get the men to use them??
I know i'll introduce conscription. ...
Better close the border to Georgia quick.
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 07:32
  #13575 (permalink)  
 
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Yes sir, at least with this at your side in the Putin Bunker, it will be more Faithfull than your Presidential Guard. ..
Then Whispers over shoulder to aide ....we did fill the clip with blanks
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 07:43
  #13576 (permalink)  
 
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We have had this returned from a Mr Charles Wales in London...
What's wrong with it??
Nothing he said, just has no need for it now, the Mama Grouse on the moors has flown the nest, whatever that means ?
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 10:39
  #13577 (permalink)  
 
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Ah, this must be the fast vibrate button. Mrs. P will need this soon.
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 10:50
  #13578 (permalink)  
 
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Sorry Vlad, I couldn't get you booked on a flight to Switzerland due to sanctions, but if terminal rumours are true then please accept this as a special gift from all your loyal comrades.
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 11:01
  #13579 (permalink)  
 
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It's loaded with blanks Oleg.
As you will be Sir, that is if you survive WW3.
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Old 23rd Sep 2022, 11:26
  #13580 (permalink)  
 
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So this is the one that kills 30 fascists per second?

Iím not sure sir. And if you keep your finger off the trigger, we wonít find out.
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