Caption Competition Mk III
Gnome de PPRuNe
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort
Age: 60
Posts: 12,618
Received 294 Likes
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162 Posts
I heard you will make your new HQ in Croydon come our splendid victory throughout Europe. But you will need this...
Vlad: "Are the windows in my office bullet-proof?"
General: "Da, but if you fire the whole magazine at the centre, it will make a big enough hole for you to accidentally fall out of."
General: "Da, but if you fire the whole magazine at the centre, it will make a big enough hole for you to accidentally fall out of."
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Hanging off the end of a thread
Posts: 32,915
Received 2,838 Likes
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1,212 Posts
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Hanging off the end of a thread
Posts: 32,915
Received 2,838 Likes
on
1,212 Posts
Got to have a go
Yes, we aim to roll it out as our standard army weapon but we are looking at a paired back version Boss
How paired back Sergei?
Well the sight is Swiss made, so we can’t get those any more, the bipod, rails, foresight and magazine are also American produced, so again we cannot get those, the barrels though are Russian, but unfortunately we use an exotic German steel, so those are unavailable to us, the stock and grips are produced in China and they are being funny about deliveries.
So basically you are telling me we just manufacture the receiver assembly Sergei?
Yes, that is 100% Russian boss, unfortunately we cannot get all the milling tools and machining equipment to manufacture them though, as they come from Japan.
But we do have hundreds of millions of Rounds for them in store, but ermmm…. They’re in Transnistria…
"So this thing fires nuclear guided bullets that only hit Ukrainian targets? And they can't use it against Russian troops?"
"Da, mine leader, test it by putting it against your own head and pull the trigger!"
"Da, mine leader, test it by putting it against your own head and pull the trigger!"
So it's still standard Russian military doctrine: "the one with the rifle shoots, the other man follows. When the first gets shot, the other... etc etc"?
Yes Mr Putin.
Good. Order the attack.
Yes Mr Putin.
Good. Order the attack.
So part one was successful, we repatriated 55 of our soldiers from Ukraine and all it cost us was 5 British Mercenaries. ...Sorry ...Fools...
So we can go ahead with part 2 ? ...
Yes they have all been brainwashed and we can reactivate them as sleeper agents with a supply off these. ...
So we can go ahead with part 2 ? ...
Yes they have all been brainwashed and we can reactivate them as sleeper agents with a supply off these. ...
Yes Mr President I picked this up at the trade fair in Texas. ...
Very good Sergio, but what is it??
It was clearly marked as a humain vermin exterminator. Seems to have kept their anti gun lobby quiet.
Very good Sergio, but what is it??
It was clearly marked as a humain vermin exterminator. Seems to have kept their anti gun lobby quiet.
Very good we have made 10000 of these in a month, now where are we going to get the men to use them??
I know i'll introduce conscription. ...
Better close the border to Georgia quick.
I know i'll introduce conscription. ...
Better close the border to Georgia quick.
Yes sir, at least with this at your side in the Putin Bunker, it will be more Faithfull than your Presidential Guard. ..
Then Whispers over shoulder to aide ....we did fill the clip with blanks
Then Whispers over shoulder to aide ....we did fill the clip with blanks
We have had this returned from a Mr Charles Wales in London...
What's wrong with it??
Nothing he said, just has no need for it now, the Mama Grouse on the moors has flown the nest, whatever that means ?
What's wrong with it??
Nothing he said, just has no need for it now, the Mama Grouse on the moors has flown the nest, whatever that means ?
Sorry Vlad, I couldn't get you booked on a flight to Switzerland due to sanctions, but if terminal rumours are true then please accept this as a special gift from all your loyal comrades.