Caption Competition Mk III

[Kiltrash]

Having returned to the White Hart, or whatever it was called so Mrs K Could use the toilet, rather than the Chemical loo in the Motorhome, while I have a nightcap, Bert was heard to say

I have just been pinged by NHS Test and Trace 1953 times, however i don't need to self isolate as

Boris / Cummings tried that excuse
Or
That's my birth year
Or
I'm in a vital profession, foreign Strawberry picker

[Wensleydale]

Kier Starmer releases plans for the Labour Party's alternative to HS2.

[Wensleydale]

The Green Party's vision for a carless society.

[Wensleydale]

Transport for London agrees that some public transport will be made mask free.

[cynicalint]

Extinction Rebellion activists afraid to climb on trains at Stratford, Canning Town, try a different approach where the locals join them instead of ejecting them.

[treadigraph]

Ravi's experiments to prove the efficacy of conveyor belts for launching passenger aircraft had overlooked one vital component...

[treadigraph]

The only drawback to this method of commuting was the slipstream playing havoc with pages of The Times as one attempted to complete the cryptic crossword...

[cynicalint]

Calais to Kent dingy service replaced by emergency rail links.

[Ascend Charlie]

CROWS (IN THE TREES UP AHEAD):
"Cawww, here comes the sushi train!"

[Buster Hyman]

"yes, i'm sorry it's so loud but, i'm calling about your electricity bill and how i can save you money..."

[Ascend Charlie]

The Ewoks were surprised when a giant Speeder loaded with dark-skinned aliens appeared, zooming through the bush on the green planet of Endor.

[Wensleydale]

Does this go to Mornington Crescent?

[622]

Fare dodgers on the 7.52 to Waterloo had to find somewhere else to hide now the ticket collector knew to check the toilets!

[622]

Shhhh...this is the quiet carriage, we are trying to sleep!

[Kiltrash]

Jumping onto the Governments free UBER ride as a incentive to get a Covid Jab, ride share was in the small print.

[Kiltrash]

British Rail trial combined freight/ passenger wagons, well it worked with the B747 CombI
However the Cattle are located on the roof

[Kiltrash]

" There were 2765 on the Roof "
" and the little one said "
" Roll Over "..
" Roll Over "
" So they all rolled Over "
" and one fell out "
" Bump "
" There were 2764 on the Roof "..

" ere Bert, this is gonna take some time ...innit.."
" You got something else to do? "...

[Dan Gerous]

Warp speed Mr Singh!

[Dan Gerous]

And when we hit 88 we'll be going back to the days of the Raj.

[treadigraph]

Down around the corner, half a mile from here
See them long trains turn, watch the surfers disappear
Without seats
Where would you be right now?