Ascoteers Multiple Choice
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The difference between Muppets and AD
The difference between muppets and AD is that if there is a problem with a load a muppet will say something like "God, thats the way we have always done it, no Im not going to change it" well that is until you ask for the team leaders name so that you can give it to group when you need to explain why the frame is delayed. AD, on the other hand, will listen to you, give you the benefit of their experience, in a positive way, then get the books out (if needed) then we come to a safe workable solution.
In short AD are a professional outfit and the muppets are not.
I'll now go to Movers v Loadies. Sorry
In short AD are a professional outfit and the muppets are not.
I'll now go to Movers v Loadies. Sorry
Last edited by albert the first; 26th Dec 2003 at 00:56.
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Breakfast in America (advanced multiple-choice)
Ageing C130K Navigator arrives at the breakfast table to find inexperienced colleagues stumbling through a question and answer session with the waitress.
Nav: ‘Okay chaps, watch and learn, watch and learn.’
(Big breath)
2 Eggs, Over Easy
Baby Back Bacon
Links
Hash Browns
No Grits
Rye Bread
Side Order of Mushrooms
Fresh Orange with the food
Filter Coffee straight away
I Thank You
(Ripple of applause from assembled crew)
Nav: ‘Eng, I’ve got the Jet Plan, and for fuel, we’ll have Full Mains’
Eng: ‘ Is that just full to shut off, or do you want fifteen and a half tonnes’
Nav: ‘Damn damn damn!’
Nav: ‘Okay chaps, watch and learn, watch and learn.’
(Big breath)
2 Eggs, Over Easy
Baby Back Bacon
Links
Hash Browns
No Grits
Rye Bread
Side Order of Mushrooms
Fresh Orange with the food
Filter Coffee straight away
I Thank You
(Ripple of applause from assembled crew)
Nav: ‘Eng, I’ve got the Jet Plan, and for fuel, we’ll have Full Mains’
Eng: ‘ Is that just full to shut off, or do you want fifteen and a half tonnes’
Nav: ‘Damn damn damn!’
Champagne anyone...?
When descending at 270kts and 4000fpm into Baghdad again on another lovely, gin-clear day and the American ATC (bless 'em!) ask you to stop descent at 5000', come back to min speed and hold over the scariest part of the city do you
a) Agree, slow and configure (you're American)
b) Agree (you're civilian, you're convinced it's a stupid idea but are sure the military controllers wouldn't ask you to do anything inherently dangerous/daft)
c) Ask them, with a degree of incredulity, to say again (you're other coalition military)
d) Transmit "A wandering minstrel I.......Gale force 8 imminent....schnell schell kartofellkopf....Surf 28 Field in sight, switching" at 40 miles out, then chop to the sane australians on tower before the yanks can get another insane word in edgeways.. (you're another goddamn Brit)
SPHLC - who are these people of whom you speak?? As far as I am aware, NAV is an autopilot mode and the only "Eng" I know of was 50% of Chang and Eng Bunker, the touring Siamese twins of the early 1800s....
a) Agree, slow and configure (you're American)
b) Agree (you're civilian, you're convinced it's a stupid idea but are sure the military controllers wouldn't ask you to do anything inherently dangerous/daft)
c) Ask them, with a degree of incredulity, to say again (you're other coalition military)
d) Transmit "A wandering minstrel I.......Gale force 8 imminent....schnell schell kartofellkopf....Surf 28 Field in sight, switching" at 40 miles out, then chop to the sane australians on tower before the yanks can get another insane word in edgeways.. (you're another goddamn Brit)
SPHLC - who are these people of whom you speak?? As far as I am aware, NAV is an autopilot mode and the only "Eng" I know of was 50% of Chang and Eng Bunker, the touring Siamese twins of the early 1800s....
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albert,
I note that you still haven't posted on the Movers v Loadies thread as you suggested you would four days ago. Just in case you are a front end wizard I will make it easy for you to find - It's now back on page 1 .
I would be interested to know what qualifies you to determine that AD are more professional than Muppets. Perhaps it's because they stand to attention when they address you!!
Anyway,I think that you will find that you are probably talking cr@p.
LM/Angry Bob
Totally agree. I think you will recall that I suggested on a previous post when the Pongos were getting lippy that we should get off the Ascoteers thread.
E5
PS: All responses to Movers v Loadies please.
I note that you still haven't posted on the Movers v Loadies thread as you suggested you would four days ago. Just in case you are a front end wizard I will make it easy for you to find - It's now back on page 1 .
I would be interested to know what qualifies you to determine that AD are more professional than Muppets. Perhaps it's because they stand to attention when they address you!!
Anyway,I think that you will find that you are probably talking cr@p.
LM/Angry Bob
Totally agree. I think you will recall that I suggested on a previous post when the Pongos were getting lippy that we should get off the Ascoteers thread.
E5
PS: All responses to Movers v Loadies please.
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dont you just love group
rumour has it.....
a crew is in perth,australia(nice!) and being good pilots check the met only to find that there is a hurricane sat right on their path home and due to hit their destination shortly.... do group...
a) say no worries, sit out the weather, keep an eye on it and launch in a couple of days when it is safe?
b) think of sending crew home via a different route?
c) tell the captain to launch into the hurricane and sit it out at the place the hurricane is due to hit??
happy new year!
a crew is in perth,australia(nice!) and being good pilots check the met only to find that there is a hurricane sat right on their path home and due to hit their destination shortly.... do group...
a) say no worries, sit out the weather, keep an eye on it and launch in a couple of days when it is safe?
b) think of sending crew home via a different route?
c) tell the captain to launch into the hurricane and sit it out at the place the hurricane is due to hit??
happy new year!
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Damn damn damn
Good call Stan. Nothin’ wrong with the waitress, just my recollection of the scene that’s at fault. I'll edit it when I'm offered the book deal.
I also missed out the Atlantic Divide that confuses:-
Biscuit
Muffin
Tea Cake
Scone
Etc
I missed it out because I’ve never managed to get it right. A biscuit (US) is a scone (UK) right? Or is it a muffin?
Grits! - Fried porridge?
StopStart, you're still my hero. Didn't you do the first (main sqn) daylight run into Kabul in a 'Dumb' Mk 3 without blubbing?
Route Queens on Gogs
TruckieTypeBloke, welcome aboard, nice story but I've seen Air Despatchers use more capital letters than you. The shift key is down in the bottom left!
Good call Stan. Nothin’ wrong with the waitress, just my recollection of the scene that’s at fault. I'll edit it when I'm offered the book deal.
I also missed out the Atlantic Divide that confuses:-
Biscuit
Muffin
Tea Cake
Scone
Etc
I missed it out because I’ve never managed to get it right. A biscuit (US) is a scone (UK) right? Or is it a muffin?
Grits! - Fried porridge?
StopStart, you're still my hero. Didn't you do the first (main sqn) daylight run into Kabul in a 'Dumb' Mk 3 without blubbing?
Route Queens on Gogs
TruckieTypeBloke, welcome aboard, nice story but I've seen Air Despatchers use more capital letters than you. The shift key is down in the bottom left!
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Who wuz the blokes needed a buddy start somewhere in a hole in Africa a few months back? If 'twere a "J" yez'd still be walking....
*Leaps into foxhole and tries to drag walls in after self...*
*Leaps into foxhole and tries to drag walls in after self...*
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You wish to increase the intercom volume. Do you
A) Rotate intercom volume knob clockwise
B) select <init> - select <mode> - scroll to <volume> - select <init> - observe <vol 9> - select <init> - observe <vol 9> flashing - scroll up to <vol 11> (flashing) - select <init>
repeat until desired volume setting is achieved.
Now that's progress.
A) Rotate intercom volume knob clockwise
B) select <init> - select <mode> - scroll to <volume> - select <init> - observe <vol 9> - select <init> - observe <vol 9> flashing - scroll up to <vol 11> (flashing) - select <init>
repeat until desired volume setting is achieved.
Now that's progress.
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Its okay J Blokey, I'm not having a dig at the J model
Its some of the new gucci kit they're fitting to our K's!
Too clever by half.
eg You set up your intercom & radio volumes as above, then you get a power interuption and they all default to zero.
Can't say any more or I'd have to kill you.
ps are you formerly C130K Bloke?
Its some of the new gucci kit they're fitting to our K's!
Too clever by half.
eg You set up your intercom & radio volumes as above, then you get a power interuption and they all default to zero.
Can't say any more or I'd have to kill you.
ps are you formerly C130K Bloke?
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Don't know what you modern Ascot guys are moaning about.
When we delivered the K model from Marrietta back in the mists of time we had a big shiny SILVER beast to fly via Bermuda and Lajes to Cambridge with no autopilot, no pax and ex piston loadies who knew how to look after a crew.
It was hell I tell you!!
Now they have stuck all the latest gizmos on and still you aren't satisfied.
Give me a DC10 anytime.
When we delivered the K model from Marrietta back in the mists of time we had a big shiny SILVER beast to fly via Bermuda and Lajes to Cambridge with no autopilot, no pax and ex piston loadies who knew how to look after a crew.
It was hell I tell you!!
Now they have stuck all the latest gizmos on and still you aren't satisfied.
Give me a DC10 anytime.
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Ascoteer Route Queen or Airborne Cavalry
Let's make this simpler then. Less answers.
Are you an Ascoteer Route Queen, or are you Gungho SF Airborne Cavalry?
On arrival at Baghdad International do you...
a) Exit the aircraft from the crew door in a flying suit with a high viz waistcoat, clutching 2 copies of the manifest, seeking a meeting with the customs man, the handling agent and flight catering.
b) Drive off the ramp in a cloud of dust in an armoured land rover, one up the spout and a bulge in your trousers.
Are you an Ascoteer Route Queen, or are you Gungho SF Airborne Cavalry?
On arrival at Baghdad International do you...
a) Exit the aircraft from the crew door in a flying suit with a high viz waistcoat, clutching 2 copies of the manifest, seeking a meeting with the customs man, the handling agent and flight catering.
b) Drive off the ramp in a cloud of dust in an armoured land rover, one up the spout and a bulge in your trousers.
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Nice Work Sir Pete
A friend put this hypothesis to me....ahem.....:
You lie paralytic at the top of the stairs in the Mess after a particularly nasty Happy Hour. A WRAF is on top of you trying to wake you up while snogging you. Quickly, it becomes apparent that you have massively followed through in your drunken slumber (again!).
Do you:
a) Stick your hand into your flying suit in front of her, to confirm your worst fears, bringing it back out like a toffee apple .
b) Spend half the night showering, laundering and cleaning the carpet.
c) Wake up the next morning and deny everything Baldrick.
d) All of the above.
You lie paralytic at the top of the stairs in the Mess after a particularly nasty Happy Hour. A WRAF is on top of you trying to wake you up while snogging you. Quickly, it becomes apparent that you have massively followed through in your drunken slumber (again!).
Do you:
a) Stick your hand into your flying suit in front of her, to confirm your worst fears, bringing it back out like a toffee apple .
b) Spend half the night showering, laundering and cleaning the carpet.
c) Wake up the next morning and deny everything Baldrick.
d) All of the above.
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Mmmm nice, I'll picture that scene with every toffee apple.
Loads more of these to come...
Ascoteer Route Queen or Airborne Cavalry
On top of your locker at the Squadron you have a 'go' bag ready for any short notice deployment. What does it contain?
a) Fresh DP's, NBC gear, Green Card, Day/Night flares, Cyalumes, Heliograph, Escape maps, Emergency Ration Packs, Puffa Jacket, Cam cream.
b) Loud shirt, flared jeans, spare shreddies & socks, 200 Malboro Lights, Bottle of Gin, Pack of Three, secret stash of U$
Loads more of these to come...
Ascoteer Route Queen or Airborne Cavalry
On top of your locker at the Squadron you have a 'go' bag ready for any short notice deployment. What does it contain?
a) Fresh DP's, NBC gear, Green Card, Day/Night flares, Cyalumes, Heliograph, Escape maps, Emergency Ration Packs, Puffa Jacket, Cam cream.
b) Loud shirt, flared jeans, spare shreddies & socks, 200 Malboro Lights, Bottle of Gin, Pack of Three, secret stash of U$
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You have been on exercice in artic terrain in the northern part of norway, and are supposed to go back home to England again. When the VC10 has picked up your collegues, you realize that you are more than 100 miles from the airport the aircraft is at, adn it is almost midnight. Do you:
A - Call and ask them to wait for you.
B - Call and ask them to go to the airport you really are at.
C - Just wait 6 hours and book a ticket on the next civilian flight back to England
D - Wait untill the VC10 is halfway back to England, then calling and makes him turn back to the airport he was an hour ago, getting someone to drive you to the airport, lets the VC10 (with all the passengers onboard) wait on the ground for 3 hours for you, and making the ATC-officer sit up untill 5 in the morning when he was supposed to be in bed getting his beauty sleep at midnight?
Somebody better by me a beer next time he visits Bardufoss
A - Call and ask them to wait for you.
B - Call and ask them to go to the airport you really are at.
C - Just wait 6 hours and book a ticket on the next civilian flight back to England
D - Wait untill the VC10 is halfway back to England, then calling and makes him turn back to the airport he was an hour ago, getting someone to drive you to the airport, lets the VC10 (with all the passengers onboard) wait on the ground for 3 hours for you, and making the ATC-officer sit up untill 5 in the morning when he was supposed to be in bed getting his beauty sleep at midnight?
Somebody better by me a beer next time he visits Bardufoss