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Caption Competition Mk III

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Caption Competition Mk III

Old 28th Aug 2022, 14:53
  #12901 (permalink)  
 
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A few days ago, I was showing an army Major how the RAF runs selection, and invited him to F-Team's induction briefing.

"Squadron Leader Bach, what do you call this briefing," he asked.

"Bach's Overture in F, Major."
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Old 28th Aug 2022, 15:26
  #12902 (permalink)  
 
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F1, " Listen guys lets's try rocking back and forth on these chairs and if we don't get sick we'll head off to the Navy selection centre, cause I don't think we're getting anywhere here".


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Old 28th Aug 2022, 15:28
  #12903 (permalink)  
 
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F1, "Are you two sisters"?
F4, "Yes we are".
F1, "So where's Cinderella"?
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Old 28th Aug 2022, 16:38
  #12904 (permalink)  
 
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What are you doing here?

Sir, we're the Finnish exchange cadets.

Ah, the flour gang -- of course.
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Old 28th Aug 2022, 17:43
  #12905 (permalink)  
 
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I think this Course has had its run...NEXT
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Old 28th Aug 2022, 17:46
  #12906 (permalink)  
 
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No no no its the Interlocking Grip for the 5 Iron, here I'll demonstrate AGAIN....watch closely
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Old 28th Aug 2022, 17:50
  #12907 (permalink)  
 
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F3 ...No a letter from your mother asking you to be excused PE because it's your time of the month won't wash with the Air Force....now if you try the Navy next you may be more successful
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Old 28th Aug 2022, 20:19
  #12908 (permalink)  
 
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Some great entries so far, will call this tomorrow afternoon.

CAEBr
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Old 29th Aug 2022, 06:41
  #12909 (permalink)  
 
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No then, this investigation is to discover why, on Friday when we left this desk was immaculate and today when we returned there are deep scratches gouged into the Mahogany top. Now we trusted you to behave like responsible adults and this is how you repaid us.
Stop smirking Simkins. ..
Now we have clear CCTV showing Helen and Abigail being picked up by their parents for the weekend so we can eliminate them from our investigation
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Old 29th Aug 2022, 06:44
  #12910 (permalink)  
 
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F4 and F5. Sorry Sir, to us " Gaining our wings " has a totally different meaning to us. We get them naturally
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Old 29th Aug 2022, 06:53
  #12911 (permalink)  
 
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We know you are all highly qualified Fast Jet Pilots prepared to go above and beyond the call of duty to defend the United Kingdom at a moments notice and make the ultimate sacrifice if the baloon goes up. However due to automation yoi have all been replaced by this little red button .
So you are all being redeployed to where the Country needs you, Assistant waste management supervisors ...in Edinburgh..

( was in the fair city for the Festival during the rubbish collection strike and it shamed the city of my birth )
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Old 29th Aug 2022, 08:05
  #12912 (permalink)  
 
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Well, F-Team, you've all done very well and we've decided you should all proceed to pilot training. In view of the recent report that the RAF are deploying to civilian airports, these are your ultimate postings:

F1: Typhoon (RAF Detachment White Waltham)
F2: Hercules (RAF Detachment Halfpenny Green)
F3: Poseidon (RAF Detachment Damnys Hall)
F4: Globemaster (RAF Detachment Popham)
F5: Hawk (Red Arrows) (RAF Woodvale - by the time you're trained, Woodvale will be the RAF's only remaining airfield, housing Basic and Advanced Training, Central Flying School, the Red Arrows, VGS Gliders, all the University Air Squadrons, Chinook, Puma and many more. The Royal Air Force College, Southport, will be located in seafront guest houses nearby.)
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Old 29th Aug 2022, 08:35
  #12913 (permalink)  
 
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OK we're here to find out who put black paint on the AOC's binocular eyepieces. And we have all week so the truth will come out..
Aide leans over and whispers. ..er no we don't have all week, we only have till this afternoon before we're moved out and a new picture comes in.. .
Erm ok we will have to employ somthing that no one expects, The Spainish Inquisition
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Old 29th Aug 2022, 09:44
  #12914 (permalink)  
 
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"Did somebody say KFC? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?"
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Old 29th Aug 2022, 12:00
  #12915 (permalink)  
 
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Well, firstly I'd like to thank you all for getting this far in the selection process. I have to tell you that to be an officer in today's Air Force means you are the best of the best, absolutely the right person for the job. So having got that out of the way, you 3 are out.
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Old 29th Aug 2022, 14:19
  #12916 (permalink)  
 
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During the practical RT training day, F2 yelled "I've had quite a few contacts in my 6 o'clock".
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Old 29th Aug 2022, 16:02
  #12917 (permalink)  
 
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Ok, the interview and tests are now complete, and the posting recommendations are ready

We've lowered the entry age to 14 in the hope that some of you may qualify as aircrew before you reach 30
gets Wensleydale a posting into the MFTS project office to review whether 14 is actually a low enough age.

So F1, F2, F3, F4 and F Off we have to chop one of you, any ideas as to who it is going to be?
gets Nutty a posting to Personnel to look at sensitive selection techniques

Good morning, now I understand that you all identify as computer keyboard keys.
gets Confusious a holding post plane spotting at Valley



But with the shortest completion of an MFTS course in the history of the RAF
Good morning ladies, gentlemen and errrm, uh. Sorry, wait a minute, I just need to refer to the manual.
gets Confusious the course CST award and a posting to the RAF's frontline jet - look after it, its the only one they've got !!



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Old 29th Aug 2022, 16:34
  #12918 (permalink)  
 
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Ta CAEBr, treasure it I shall.
Here's my offering to start off this week.
Enjoy all!

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Old 29th Aug 2022, 16:45
  #12919 (permalink)  
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Thank heavens you found a use for Hoskins' Netttle and Elderberry, and I hear Cpl Smithers discovered that the Greengage and Rosehip kills the bindweed behind the mess.
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Old 29th Aug 2022, 16:48
  #12920 (permalink)  
 
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“Special Delivery for the Red Arrows somewhere in Europe.”
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