Trubute - 717 Overnights.
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Tribute - 717 Overnights.
I know that this thread will spark limited interest. Though I think it only too fitting to pay tribute to the towns and cities that have hosted (put up with) the high-jinx of the 717 crew.
Let's just call it part of my coping mechanism!
Rockhampton
Australia's Beef Capital! Goodbye US Marines. Goodbye Karoke at the JungleBar. Goodbye Hooters. Goodbye 3pound steaks at the Cambridge. I will sadly miss doing the headcount at ROK. When I reported it to the Purser I would always say "60 plus 38." They would say "38 infants?!" and I would reply "No... 38 mullets!"
She's Great in the Galley -
Please please please tell us more about your "Room Party". Please!
Mackay
Who could forget those tranquil walks along the crocodile infested beach (mudflates) whilst being eaten alive by mosquitos and being attacked by evil magpies? "Ah, the serenity..." And the vile "Best in Mackay" coffee at The Coffee Club. I refered to it as "dirty water"
one day and the man/woman (was hard to tell!) knew exactly what I was after! And the bounty of bargain shopping that was 'Canelands'. (Made Melbourne shopping look like a street market in comparison 
!)
She's Great in the Galley -
Do you remember the intimate fly-swatting lunch we shared at Pure 'n' Natural?
Hamilton Island
There was, of course, the elite few who managed to score a slip on Hammo. Not much to say except it was nice for a change. Though it was very hard for the girls to find a guy to hang with for the evening. All the eligible gentlemen had either just got off our flight or were due out on ours the next day! Never been? One of my pax summed it up beautifully - "Hammo? Yeh it's just like Bali but it's in Australia, hey?"
Brisbane
Remember dearly. Brisbane was my first ever overnight as Cabin Crew. It was with Impulse and I was 20. I strutted around the Hilton as if I owned the place. I went out drinking in the Valley and made sure everyone knew I was crew. I was in demand. I was the poo - take a big whiff! Looking back it was all rather embarrasing! I was recently single and found someone to shack up with. Oh it was all so glam. I was 20 and a Jet Hostess - watch out World! Pitty about the reality that set in the next day on my hung over 5 sectors. All the glamour of flying seemed to die after my first two weeks.
Newcastle
Vile! Always min rest. Trapped in your little stuffy coffin that is either too hot or too cold. Above a bottle shop and attached to an RSL. Vile and noisey! Lots of cupboard space, though?
Will miss the cockroaches dropping from the ceiling and the absence of wakeup calls ("Sorry I forgot..." from the creep at reception) leaving you running late for crew transport. Oh and we will all miss the guys that do the crew transport. They all drive at least double the speed limit, talking on their mobile, have two hours sleep a day and know more about our company than we do. And they all loved regailing us with their extensive medical histories too!
Launceston
The Country Club. So isolated it was like one of those rehab prisons! It had the farm animals and everything! I will miss socialising with the DJ crew (didn't happen too often but was fun when it did!) and getting chased by psychotic ducks. Will miss those lovely beds. With the extra mattress and the HUGE fluffy duvet. Not that we slept much with the bad plumbing. If someone needed to tinkle we all knew about it!
Hobart
Love Hobart. 50% discount on the already cheap prices at the Grand Chancellor (aka Cr@p Chancellor). One would immediately hum the theme to Dynasty when entering those rooms. Those rancid bed sheets. You would peel them off with one finger they were so infested! And I know of few who walked barefoot on the carpet and lived to tell the tale. And who could forget the 'OH&S Restuarant' downstairs? The waitresses were all bitter as they didn't get jobs when the HBA Base opened. So they would go out of their way to make our dining experience a nightmare. No matter what our request it was declined on OH&S grounds! Amazing.
Hobart was the quiet acheiver in regards to 'out of control' evenings with the crew. It seems like such a peacful city. Many a torrid tale has come back from HBA trips (especially the five day ones!). I went out for a couple of drinks with a BNE girl back in 2001. I got back to the hotel at 1300! Never found the girl I went out with. Walked past her in the terminal about two months later. We hugged and cried. Neither of us remember too much and were so glad we both somehow made it back to the hotel independently!
With 42 crew in the bar every night the five day HBAs were bound to cause trouble!
Gold Coast
Sadly we haven't spent enough time at the Grande Mercure to bag it out. So will limited my critique to the Radisson. The furthest hotel from civilisation. Great if you played golf. That place was so boring! 30 hours at the hotel (nice rooms and restuarant) seemed to go forever! One did always get a great tan. And the all-you-can-drink Wine Buffet (!!) was just brilliant. Well - what I remember of it! Another issue was the Mini Bar staff that would want access to your room every hour on the hour from 0600 onwards. Out of control!
Melbourne
Lovely hotel and the Pillow Menu always intrigued me. I recall sharing the spa with two girls from my crew and a freighter pilot from Alaska. Interesting!
She's Great... -
Remember me getting kicked out of the bar for sitting / lying on the floor? What was that about!?
I know there are few Impulse crew on here... So does anyone else have any comments about the glamorous QFLink overnights in Australia's regional metropolis cities? Just thought it would be fun...
Let's just call it part of my coping mechanism!
Rockhampton
Australia's Beef Capital! Goodbye US Marines. Goodbye Karoke at the JungleBar. Goodbye Hooters. Goodbye 3pound steaks at the Cambridge. I will sadly miss doing the headcount at ROK. When I reported it to the Purser I would always say "60 plus 38." They would say "38 infants?!" and I would reply "No... 38 mullets!"
She's Great in the Galley -
Please please please tell us more about your "Room Party". Please!
Mackay
Who could forget those tranquil walks along the crocodile infested beach (mudflates) whilst being eaten alive by mosquitos and being attacked by evil magpies? "Ah, the serenity..." And the vile "Best in Mackay" coffee at The Coffee Club. I refered to it as "dirty water"
one day and the man/woman (was hard to tell!) knew exactly what I was after! And the bounty of bargain shopping that was 'Canelands'. (Made Melbourne shopping look like a street market in comparison !)She's Great in the Galley -
Do you remember the intimate fly-swatting lunch we shared at Pure 'n' Natural?
Hamilton Island
There was, of course, the elite few who managed to score a slip on Hammo. Not much to say except it was nice for a change. Though it was very hard for the girls to find a guy to hang with for the evening. All the eligible gentlemen had either just got off our flight or were due out on ours the next day! Never been? One of my pax summed it up beautifully - "Hammo? Yeh it's just like Bali but it's in Australia, hey?"
Brisbane
Remember dearly. Brisbane was my first ever overnight as Cabin Crew. It was with Impulse and I was 20. I strutted around the Hilton as if I owned the place. I went out drinking in the Valley and made sure everyone knew I was crew. I was in demand. I was the poo - take a big whiff! Looking back it was all rather embarrasing! I was recently single and found someone to shack up with. Oh it was all so glam. I was 20 and a Jet Hostess - watch out World! Pitty about the reality that set in the next day on my hung over 5 sectors. All the glamour of flying seemed to die after my first two weeks.
Newcastle
Vile! Always min rest. Trapped in your little stuffy coffin that is either too hot or too cold. Above a bottle shop and attached to an RSL. Vile and noisey! Lots of cupboard space, though?
Will miss the cockroaches dropping from the ceiling and the absence of wakeup calls ("Sorry I forgot..." from the creep at reception) leaving you running late for crew transport. Oh and we will all miss the guys that do the crew transport. They all drive at least double the speed limit, talking on their mobile, have two hours sleep a day and know more about our company than we do. And they all loved regailing us with their extensive medical histories too!Launceston
The Country Club. So isolated it was like one of those rehab prisons! It had the farm animals and everything! I will miss socialising with the DJ crew (didn't happen too often but was fun when it did!) and getting chased by psychotic ducks. Will miss those lovely beds. With the extra mattress and the HUGE fluffy duvet. Not that we slept much with the bad plumbing. If someone needed to tinkle we all knew about it!
Hobart
Love Hobart. 50% discount on the already cheap prices at the Grand Chancellor (aka Cr@p Chancellor). One would immediately hum the theme to Dynasty when entering those rooms. Those rancid bed sheets. You would peel them off with one finger they were so infested! And I know of few who walked barefoot on the carpet and lived to tell the tale. And who could forget the 'OH&S Restuarant' downstairs? The waitresses were all bitter as they didn't get jobs when the HBA Base opened. So they would go out of their way to make our dining experience a nightmare. No matter what our request it was declined on OH&S grounds! Amazing.
Hobart was the quiet acheiver in regards to 'out of control' evenings with the crew. It seems like such a peacful city. Many a torrid tale has come back from HBA trips (especially the five day ones!). I went out for a couple of drinks with a BNE girl back in 2001. I got back to the hotel at 1300! Never found the girl I went out with. Walked past her in the terminal about two months later. We hugged and cried. Neither of us remember too much and were so glad we both somehow made it back to the hotel independently!
With 42 crew in the bar every night the five day HBAs were bound to cause trouble!
Gold Coast
Sadly we haven't spent enough time at the Grande Mercure to bag it out. So will limited my critique to the Radisson. The furthest hotel from civilisation. Great if you played golf. That place was so boring! 30 hours at the hotel (nice rooms and restuarant) seemed to go forever! One did always get a great tan. And the all-you-can-drink Wine Buffet (!!) was just brilliant. Well - what I remember of it! Another issue was the Mini Bar staff that would want access to your room every hour on the hour from 0600 onwards. Out of control!
Melbourne
Lovely hotel and the Pillow Menu always intrigued me. I recall sharing the spa with two girls from my crew and a freighter pilot from Alaska. Interesting!
She's Great... -
Remember me getting kicked out of the bar for sitting / lying on the floor? What was that about!?
I know there are few Impulse crew on here... So does anyone else have any comments about the glamorous QFLink overnights in Australia's regional metropolis cities? Just thought it would be fun...
Last edited by ditzyboy; 6th May 2004 at 07:33.
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Ditzy,
sounds like your Newcastle drivers were trained by our SYD drivers.
We'll miss you guys on the LST o/nights too. I always love the great story swaps that happen over a couple of complimentry drinks.
sounds like your Newcastle drivers were trained by our SYD drivers.
We'll miss you guys on the LST o/nights too. I always love the great story swaps that happen over a couple of complimentry drinks.
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I LOVE it!
I nearly weed myself!
Seriously though, 38 Mullets isn't enough.
Ditz - come over to PER and do a Port Hedland - I think you'll find 8/68 - ALL of which are mullets. We have the femullet, the business mullet (all business at the front & party at the back!!)
LOADS of Ultimullets and for some reason we seem to have a ton of mullatinos! Then there are the poor poor children who are scarred for life when their parents force them into the kiddiemullet!
For complete definitions of all terms of mullets and pics of all our regular pax go to
www.mulletsgalore.com
Would love to hear more stories of your overnights!!
CT
x
I nearly weed myself!
Seriously though, 38 Mullets isn't enough.
Ditz - come over to PER and do a Port Hedland - I think you'll find 8/68 - ALL of which are mullets. We have the femullet, the business mullet (all business at the front & party at the back!!)
LOADS of Ultimullets and for some reason we seem to have a ton of mullatinos! Then there are the poor poor children who are scarred for life when their parents force them into the kiddiemullet!
For complete definitions of all terms of mullets and pics of all our regular pax go to
www.mulletsgalore.com
Would love to hear more stories of your overnights!!
CT
x
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smile -
I have a 3 day LST on the 16 17 and 18... Will keep an eye out for the DJ crew for some 'farewell drinks'!
\
Biscuit -
You know the most bizarre flights often include ADL as the origin or destination. I remember when we were doing daily ADL-OOL. That was SCARY!
Cart Tart -
Have been to mulletsgallore ages ago! Hilarious! Does it still have the "Slap-my-bitch-up-and-have-sex-with-her-sister Mullet"? Now we are of course pronouncing mullet as "mull-lay", aren't we? One needs to express the level grace and dignity deserving of such a fine image.
nickmel -
I think we all have a bit of Porpoise Spit in us. The tragedy is not everyone knows it. And it is but a select few who can appreciate it.
I have a 3 day LST on the 16 17 and 18... Will keep an eye out for the DJ crew for some 'farewell drinks'!
\Biscuit -
You know the most bizarre flights often include ADL as the origin or destination. I remember when we were doing daily ADL-OOL. That was SCARY!
Cart Tart -
Have been to mulletsgallore ages ago! Hilarious! Does it still have the "Slap-my-bitch-up-and-have-sex-with-her-sister Mullet"? Now we are of course pronouncing mullet as "mull-lay", aren't we? One needs to express the level grace and dignity deserving of such a fine image.
nickmel -
I think we all have a bit of Porpoise Spit in us. The tragedy is not everyone knows it. And it is but a select few who can appreciate it.
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I'll be missin you
HAHAHAHHAHAH! Oh my God this is just sooo funny! I had to print it out! Well written Ditzy!
I thought it was appropriate to mention that I'm going to REALLY miss the pulse crew! I already missed the shortlived gatherings/pissups at the Ocean international (I had to pay $25 bucks to get there from my layover accomodation...they like keeping the QR crew out of town because of all the AA members!)....I soooo fully miss the CRAZY Karaoke at the Jungle Bar in Rocky etc when I left QR!
I hope you guys will miss me just as much as I'm going to miss seeing you guys. You guys were a breath of fresh air in BNE...literally! The cabins were cool with fresh airconditioned air. I'm even going to miss...dare I say it the smelly lavs that were never flushed and just used by the pilots whilst the aircraft was on the tarmac. (trust me after doing BaE146 lavs you'll think the 717s were cleaner then a surgeory!
It was a relief to know during the evening Happy hour that the aircraft was just a 717 and not a airbus that may have come from Perth/transit/turnaround....phew!
So Ditz...Do you think that the pulse crew are going to miss me with my magic vac and hillbilly crew? - you'll have to be most of the scrubbing soon!
I thought it was appropriate to mention that I'm going to REALLY miss the pulse crew! I already missed the shortlived gatherings/pissups at the Ocean international (I had to pay $25 bucks to get there from my layover accomodation...they like keeping the QR crew out of town because of all the AA members!)....I soooo fully miss the CRAZY Karaoke at the Jungle Bar in Rocky etc when I left QR!
I hope you guys will miss me just as much as I'm going to miss seeing you guys. You guys were a breath of fresh air in BNE...literally! The cabins were cool with fresh airconditioned air. I'm even going to miss...dare I say it the smelly lavs that were never flushed and just used by the pilots whilst the aircraft was on the tarmac. (trust me after doing BaE146 lavs you'll think the 717s were cleaner then a surgeory!
It was a relief to know during the evening Happy hour that the aircraft was just a 717 and not a airbus that may have come from Perth/transit/turnaround....phew!
So Ditz...Do you think that the pulse crew are going to miss me with my magic vac and hillbilly crew? - you'll have to be most of the scrubbing soon!
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Biscuit Chucker my magic Vac doesnt require any power leads it's virtually a my magic wand! It simply makes things dissappear! Oh how I will miss those blue little mentol toss packets all over the floor! Those vegemite playing cards splashed everywhere.
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Ditzy,
A truly hilarious post, and definetely a topic that needed posting!
To Impulse crew - from your fellow colleauges in other QFLINK divisions we wish you all the best in your new adventure to become part of Jetstar. We will miss seeing you around the place and can easily relate to your stories of regional overnights. We certainly will not miss the confused looks from some pulse crew in NTL at 5:30am pick up who don't know there are other qflink subsidiaries crew who wear the same uniform (yes we do fly on turbo-props darling-ever heard of a dash 8 ? lol) but...we certainly will miss watching the QFLINK superjet Boeing 717 pull up beside us at the ports we both operate with happy, witty crew aboard and the mullet hair pax with their bedroom pillow with them ( I mean how unhygenic ...ewwww).
Ditz and Seatback - hope you can still make it down our end for our mini catchups - will miss seeing you guys in the morrissey "get-up".You both wear it well - no-one will ever be able to outshine Mr seatbacks shoes.
GOOD LUCK @ JET* !!!!
A truly hilarious post, and definetely a topic that needed posting!
To Impulse crew - from your fellow colleauges in other QFLINK divisions we wish you all the best in your new adventure to become part of Jetstar. We will miss seeing you around the place and can easily relate to your stories of regional overnights. We certainly will not miss the confused looks from some pulse crew in NTL at 5:30am pick up who don't know there are other qflink subsidiaries crew who wear the same uniform (yes we do fly on turbo-props darling-ever heard of a dash 8 ? lol) but...we certainly will miss watching the QFLINK superjet Boeing 717 pull up beside us at the ports we both operate with happy, witty crew aboard and the mullet hair pax with their bedroom pillow with them ( I mean how unhygenic ...ewwww).
Ditz and Seatback - hope you can still make it down our end for our mini catchups - will miss seeing you guys in the morrissey "get-up".You both wear it well - no-one will ever be able to outshine Mr seatbacks shoes.
GOOD LUCK @ JET* !!!!
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oh i am just going to cry its so sad!!!
Here are my impressions though:
ROK
will miss: - Jungle bar, the marines (*swoon*) Criterion on a weekend night, My favourite butcher who gives me nice cuts of meat, cheap food at coles, steaks @ cambridge, poolside BBQs, and the cheap tim tams in the mini bar.
wont miss: - taxi that is always 1/2 hour late EVERY TIME!, bowling men peering (or is it leering) at me in my bikini by the pool, the scary bridge that you have to walk under at night to get to the pub!
MKY
will miss: - nice walks on beach.. shopping at the chemist when your really bored, the pool
wont miss: - those rooms(!) cane furniture, canelands, cane toads, cane sugar, mozzies, ants, wasps and the mudflats.
MEL
will miss: complimentary rubber duckies in the rooms (!) Mcdonalds being a 3 min walk away! adjustable massage shower nozzle (crew luxury!)
wont miss: $4 for a glass of milk on room service!!!!! need i say any more?
LST
will miss: the beds, the cheap food, the bar
wont miss: plumbing noises and the psycho ducks and their poo everywhere (i got attacked too!)
HBA
will miss: the bar, T42's bar, the Isobar, the gay bar, the irish pubs (various) and there is another one but i cant remember the name.. (wonder why?), 50% discount, red bulls in mini bar, Oyster runs, free toothbrushes and the markets
wont miss: early starts in winter, staff in restaurant, the haunted floor (is is 11 or 16?) the bedspreads (is that chocolate???), in house movies that never change and the windows that open 4cm
OOL
will miss: the seven or eight free drink vouchers i found in my room on TWO occasions! proximity of Pacific Fair to hotel (shopping!!), the bathroom
wont miss: drive to hotel, the rooms and the bar
NTL
will miss: ummmmm.. the apples?
wont miss: dodgy rooms, long drive to hotel, talking taxi drivers who tell you long stories about when their mother was kidnapped in 1962 etc etcwhen all you want to do is sleep ,
the blankets (eeww) the min rest and the cockroaches!!!
oh.. and the allowances!!!
Here are my impressions though:
ROK
will miss: - Jungle bar, the marines (*swoon*) Criterion on a weekend night, My favourite butcher who gives me nice cuts of meat, cheap food at coles, steaks @ cambridge, poolside BBQs, and the cheap tim tams in the mini bar.
wont miss: - taxi that is always 1/2 hour late EVERY TIME!, bowling men peering (or is it leering) at me in my bikini by the pool, the scary bridge that you have to walk under at night to get to the pub!
MKY
will miss: - nice walks on beach.. shopping at the chemist when your really bored, the pool
wont miss: - those rooms(!) cane furniture, canelands, cane toads, cane sugar, mozzies, ants, wasps and the mudflats.
MEL
will miss: complimentary rubber duckies in the rooms (!) Mcdonalds being a 3 min walk away! adjustable massage shower nozzle (crew luxury!)
wont miss: $4 for a glass of milk on room service!!!!! need i say any more?
LST
will miss: the beds, the cheap food, the bar
wont miss: plumbing noises and the psycho ducks and their poo everywhere (i got attacked too!)
HBA
will miss: the bar, T42's bar, the Isobar, the gay bar, the irish pubs (various) and there is another one but i cant remember the name.. (wonder why?), 50% discount, red bulls in mini bar, Oyster runs, free toothbrushes and the markets
wont miss: early starts in winter, staff in restaurant, the haunted floor (is is 11 or 16?) the bedspreads (is that chocolate???), in house movies that never change and the windows that open 4cm
OOL
will miss: the seven or eight free drink vouchers i found in my room on TWO occasions! proximity of Pacific Fair to hotel (shopping!!), the bathroom
wont miss: drive to hotel, the rooms and the bar
NTL
will miss: ummmmm.. the apples?
wont miss: dodgy rooms, long drive to hotel, talking taxi drivers who tell you long stories about when their mother was kidnapped in 1962 etc etcwhen all you want to do is sleep ,
the blankets (eeww) the min rest and the cockroaches!!!
oh.. and the allowances!!!
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THE NEW MAME FOR THE MULLET IS PRONOUNCED "MU'LLAY" AS ONE OF THE GUYS FROM QUEER EYE SAID THE OTHER WEEK..
WHAT A CLASSIC DITZ, YOU SHOULD PUBLISH A BOOK, IT WOULD BE A BEST SELLER...
NO JOKE, WE HAVE A GUY AT S/HAUL WHO GOT A BLONDE MULLET WIG CUSTOM MADE FOR HIM, IN THE STATES, MATCHED HIS OWN HAIR COLUR PERFECTLY, LOOKS TOTALLY NATURAL. BILLY-RAY WOULD BE JEALOUS.
HE WEARS THIS THING WHILST DOING THE HEAD COUNT OUT OF ADL... HE EVEN WALKS DOWN THE AISLE DOING A QUICK STEP PRESSING HIS LITTLE CLICKER, TO ATTRACT SOME ATTENTION, AND NO ONE MADE A COMMENT. THE CREW CAN HARDLY KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE DURING THE FLIGHT, YOU WOULD THINK SOME ONE WOULD PICK UP ON IT.... NO ONE.
HAPPY FLYING. Q-T (NOT Q-TEE), I WAS HERE FIRST X
WHAT A CLASSIC DITZ, YOU SHOULD PUBLISH A BOOK, IT WOULD BE A BEST SELLER...
NO JOKE, WE HAVE A GUY AT S/HAUL WHO GOT A BLONDE MULLET WIG CUSTOM MADE FOR HIM, IN THE STATES, MATCHED HIS OWN HAIR COLUR PERFECTLY, LOOKS TOTALLY NATURAL. BILLY-RAY WOULD BE JEALOUS.
HE WEARS THIS THING WHILST DOING THE HEAD COUNT OUT OF ADL... HE EVEN WALKS DOWN THE AISLE DOING A QUICK STEP PRESSING HIS LITTLE CLICKER, TO ATTRACT SOME ATTENTION, AND NO ONE MADE A COMMENT. THE CREW CAN HARDLY KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE DURING THE FLIGHT, YOU WOULD THINK SOME ONE WOULD PICK UP ON IT.... NO ONE.
HAPPY FLYING. Q-T (NOT Q-TEE), I WAS HERE FIRST X
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I absolutely WET myself reading this post, especially Ditzy's first entry... loved it! DJ have just started ROK overnights so I look forward to experiencing all the things you mention, especially the 1/2 hour wait for crew transport! Gotta love the LST overnights, was there the other night, met a HBA based Impulse crew, really really nice people and had a chat and a couple of drinks with them - we will miss your smiling faces around there! Those bloody Devil Birds though (those of you who have been chased by the black birds with yellow beaks will know what I am talking about), I swear to god they serve them up for dinner downstairs in the pensioners party room!!
I am also in the process of collaborating different pictures of mullets (would the plural of Mullet be Mullie - pronounced Mull-eye?) so that I can confidently and correctly identify them to my crew members. Love the pax/mullet count - I will be sure to use that when confirming numbers in future (especially ADL/ROK/TSV!)
As far as you not spending enough time at the Mercure on the gold coast Ditzy mate if its anything like the Mercure sydney airport (known amongst all dj crew as "The Manure") you are not missing anything besides bed bugs, $27 club sandwiches in room service, no mini bars in rooms (each floor has its own in the hallway), rude staff and sticky carpet!
Have fun with JQ folks and we hope to be back partying with you funky 717 guys in the near future
PS WARNING TO ALL OVERNIGHTING LST CREW - THE GOOSE NOW HAS GOSLINGS - IF YOU LIKE YOUR TOES INTACT STAY THE F**K AWAY!!!
I absolutely WET myself reading this post, especially Ditzy's first entry... loved it! DJ have just started ROK overnights so I look forward to experiencing all the things you mention, especially the 1/2 hour wait for crew transport! Gotta love the LST overnights, was there the other night, met a HBA based Impulse crew, really really nice people and had a chat and a couple of drinks with them - we will miss your smiling faces around there! Those bloody Devil Birds though (those of you who have been chased by the black birds with yellow beaks will know what I am talking about), I swear to god they serve them up for dinner downstairs in the pensioners party room!!
I am also in the process of collaborating different pictures of mullets (would the plural of Mullet be Mullie - pronounced Mull-eye?) so that I can confidently and correctly identify them to my crew members. Love the pax/mullet count - I will be sure to use that when confirming numbers in future (especially ADL/ROK/TSV!)
As far as you not spending enough time at the Mercure on the gold coast Ditzy mate if its anything like the Mercure sydney airport (known amongst all dj crew as "The Manure") you are not missing anything besides bed bugs, $27 club sandwiches in room service, no mini bars in rooms (each floor has its own in the hallway), rude staff and sticky carpet!
Have fun with JQ folks and we hope to be back partying with you funky 717 guys in the near future
PS WARNING TO ALL OVERNIGHTING LST CREW - THE GOOSE NOW HAS GOSLINGS - IF YOU LIKE YOUR TOES INTACT STAY THE F**K AWAY!!!
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sinala1 -
Honey we do not stay at any 'Mercure'. It is the GRANDE Mercure - it's posh! We moved there at OOL only in December. Great location. I hear the place you guys stay it OOL is really posh too!
The Sydney Airport 'Manure' (LOVE it!) is really really bad. Our new trainees stay there. Not a very good welcome to the company! For about two months the place didn't have any sort of room service - just vending machines! Also don't go walking in the park by the river. You will either find a dead body or become one!
Your crew will love ROK! The bars and clubs are a scream! Although most of you guys are from QLD so I guess it won't be as much a novelty as it was for us.
Where will you be staying?
The Criterion is great for drinking - the best place to start off. But their food is rancid - don't bother. Go to The Cambridge for really great steak. For the budget concious it has a separate area with a $7 buffet. Free salmonella! You see people taking there wives their for dinner and stuff. Pretty funny!
Jungle Bar is fun for drunken Karoke and there is always a football team in there it would seem. Hooters is just vile unless you are into 14 year old girls And if you like to dance FULL ON then go to Stadium nightclub. That is really SCARY. I got chased out by a woman in a VB singlet and double-plugged thongs!
Regarding Mullets -
Obviously JQ will be removing the Chapter Customer Recognition - Frequent Flyer / oneworld from our Cabin Crew Operations Manual. Will they be replacing it with Customer Recognition - Mullet Identification?
Jetstar Priority Boarding Announcement...
"Ladies and Gentlemen we'd like to offer a pre-boarding service for esteemed MulletFlyer Gold and Platinium members. Please remove your 'I'm With Stupid' cap and have your style ready for presentation by our Gate Staff. Customers with Perms and Rat's Tails will be asked to board shortly..." Just evil.
Honey we do not stay at any 'Mercure'. It is the GRANDE Mercure - it's posh! We moved there at OOL only in December. Great location. I hear the place you guys stay it OOL is really posh too!
The Sydney Airport 'Manure' (LOVE it!) is really really bad. Our new trainees stay there. Not a very good welcome to the company! For about two months the place didn't have any sort of room service - just vending machines! Also don't go walking in the park by the river. You will either find a dead body or become one!
Your crew will love ROK! The bars and clubs are a scream! Although most of you guys are from QLD so I guess it won't be as much a novelty as it was for us.
Where will you be staying?
The Criterion is great for drinking - the best place to start off. But their food is rancid - don't bother. Go to The Cambridge for really great steak. For the budget concious it has a separate area with a $7 buffet. Free salmonella! You see people taking there wives their for dinner and stuff. Pretty funny!
Jungle Bar is fun for drunken Karoke and there is always a football team in there it would seem. Hooters is just vile unless you are into 14 year old girls
And if you like to dance FULL ON then go to Stadium nightclub. That is really SCARY. I got chased out by a woman in a VB singlet and double-plugged thongs!Regarding Mullets -
Obviously JQ will be removing the Chapter Customer Recognition - Frequent Flyer / oneworld from our Cabin Crew Operations Manual. Will they be replacing it with Customer Recognition - Mullet Identification?
Jetstar Priority Boarding Announcement...
"Ladies and Gentlemen we'd like to offer a pre-boarding service for esteemed MulletFlyer Gold and Platinium members. Please remove your 'I'm With Stupid' cap and have your style ready for presentation by our Gate Staff. Customers with Perms and Rat's Tails will be asked to board shortly..."
Just evil.
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oh terribly terribly sorry re the GRAND mecure! how remiss of me... ps if you ever get an overnight at syd manure ing go mid duty sick!!! just kiddin, but its nasty! cause if you werent sick already, you will be after staying there for the night!
Re mullets. Perhaps we need to look at developing a separate PA book for ports where mullets are in abundance (say > 5% of all hair cuts?) Standard welcome on board PAs could be :
"Mulls and Mullettes (as in male and female versions of (yes there is female mullets!)) welcome on board your flight to xxx today, and a special welcome to those Mullets joining us in BusinessMullet class and those Mullets from our Inter-Mullet airlines. We ask those Mullets in possesion of Two thongs today to please share your spare thong with someone who is less fortunate than yourself. Please ensure all mullets are secured so as to not obstruct the vision of the mullet behind you in the event of an emergency. Cabin Crew are now coming through the cabin wearing gloves to help you secure your mullet if required"
yes but true... and I tell ya cleaning up bits of stray mullet off the toilet floor is not a nice way to spend your turnaround!
how remiss of me... ps if you ever get an overnight at syd manure ing go mid duty sick!!! just kiddin, but its nasty! cause if you werent sick already, you will be after staying there for the night!Re mullets. Perhaps we need to look at developing a separate PA book for ports where mullets are in abundance (say > 5% of all hair cuts?) Standard welcome on board PAs could be :
"Mulls and Mullettes (as in male and female versions of (yes there is female mullets!)) welcome on board your flight to xxx today, and a special welcome to those Mullets joining us in BusinessMullet class and those Mullets from our Inter-Mullet airlines. We ask those Mullets in possesion of Two thongs today to please share your spare thong with someone who is less fortunate than yourself. Please ensure all mullets are secured so as to not obstruct the vision of the mullet behind you in the event of an emergency. Cabin Crew are now coming through the cabin wearing gloves to help you secure your mullet if required"
yes but true... and I tell ya cleaning up bits of stray mullet off the toilet floor is not a nice way to spend your turnaround!
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Very funny!
That just reminded me... Yesterday at MCY I found a good-sized handful of blonde hair in a seat pocket! Rancid!
I would sometimes love to go into the terminal and page some of the filthy creatures that leave clumps of hair, gum, spit, nappies, band-aids, syringes and baby wipes in the seat pockets!
That just reminded me... Yesterday at MCY I found a good-sized handful of blonde hair in a seat pocket! Rancid!
I would sometimes love to go into the terminal and page some of the filthy creatures that leave clumps of hair, gum, spit, nappies, band-aids, syringes and baby wipes in the seat pockets!
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Hilarious!
Well, it is sad to see the end of (yet another) era for this airline. However, I do wish you all the very best on this exciting new venture.
God, this post is funny.
I have experienced the cab drivers at NTL first hand and roared laughing when I read about them on THIS forum.
Whenever we were about to catch the cab at NTL, I would order a quick group hug and get the pilots to make a pact with me.
"Under NO circumstances will there be any eye contact, do not ANSWER any questions and do not ASK any questions. If anyone of you breaks the code there will be severe consequences. Right Lads? Right."
Oh Ditzy, whats with that large ball of blonde hair left in the seat pocket! Hilarious. It's about as impressive as skids left on the toilet bowl! My worst find in a seat pocket would have to be the (plastic) wine glass filled with very yellow flem, precariously placed in position so that it didnt spill - quite considerate, really. When I touched it, it was still warm. Personally, I nearly threw up. You see it all on an aircraft dont you? (Wouldnt you just loooove to do a PA, asking whoever it was to march themselves straight back and clean it up! But, hey, thats why we are paid the BIG bucks I suppose.)
Happy flying, beautiful people. xxx
God, this post is funny.
I have experienced the cab drivers at NTL first hand and roared laughing when I read about them on THIS forum.
Whenever we were about to catch the cab at NTL, I would order a quick group hug and get the pilots to make a pact with me.
"Under NO circumstances will there be any eye contact, do not ANSWER any questions and do not ASK any questions. If anyone of you breaks the code there will be severe consequences. Right Lads? Right."
Oh Ditzy, whats with that large ball of blonde hair left in the seat pocket! Hilarious. It's about as impressive as skids left on the toilet bowl! My worst find in a seat pocket would have to be the (plastic) wine glass filled with very yellow flem, precariously placed in position so that it didnt spill - quite considerate, really. When I touched it, it was still warm.
Personally, I nearly threw up. You see it all on an aircraft dont you? (Wouldnt you just loooove to do a PA, asking whoever it was to march themselves straight back and clean it up! But, hey, thats why we are paid the BIG bucks I suppose.) Happy flying, beautiful people. xxx
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Hey Ditzy!
Believe it or not but lots of customers run screaming to VMR in absolute tears because they left hair/gum/dummies/diapers/false teeth/dirty or clean underwear/pieces of paper with scribbles in a seatpocket or locker!!!! Yes one wonders what kind of people are they! But hey if finding it and makes the customer happy I guess it's good customer service??? LOL Despite the fact that you may want to wear those blue oven gloves to retrieve their beloved items!!
Oh the satisfaction I get returning their beloved safety pin/diapers/used snotty tissues with important information scribled on it etc to the rightful owners it just so emotional that I'm starting to get tears...*sniffles* if only you were just there to experience it!
Believe it or not but lots of customers run screaming to VMR in absolute tears because they left hair/gum/dummies/diapers/false teeth/dirty or clean underwear/pieces of paper with scribbles in a seatpocket or locker!!!! Yes one wonders what kind of people are they! But hey if finding it and makes the customer happy I guess it's good customer service??? LOL Despite the fact that you may want to wear those blue oven gloves to retrieve their beloved items!!
Oh the satisfaction I get returning their beloved safety pin/diapers/used snotty tissues with important information scribled on it etc to the rightful owners it just so emotional that I'm starting to get tears...*sniffles* if only you were just there to experience it!
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Ditzy and all,
I just felt the need to share these stories, and couldnt find anywhere more appropriate to put them. - So, here we go.
I think finding a pair of pants on the floor in the aircraft during turnaround in BNE was a bit interesting - they were on the floor in front of the seat - as if somebody had just slipped them off and stepped out of them - why why why?
Then there was the lady - who was acting a bit odd at the Boarding Gate - she boarded and was seated in 1F - we thought she may have just been a little nervous - so thought nothing of it. Until we took off!
She started meowing and rubbing her hands on her face - like a cat would wipe its whiskers. Then, when the seatbelt sign was switched off - she began to crawl around the floor at the front of the aircraft - meowing the entire time - should we have put down a saucer of milk? - we'll never know. When she had finished her meow on the floor - she climbed up onto the lap of the man seated in 1E and proceeded to purr like a cat! - we still have no idea what that was all about.
Then, in response to Mullets/Mullays etc - have you ever played 'Thong Lotto' - its quite easy - you have a quick look at how many pax you have manifested - and then all crew members have to put a couple of dollars into a hat and guess how many pairs of thongs will be worn onto the aircraft - its best to count them at the gate during disembarkation - the one that guesses closest top the correct number - takes all the money.
Its quite fun - and always worth a laugh - my personal favourite are the folks that wear their 'good thongs' - what the?
aahhh - the joys of the glamour jobs!
I just felt the need to share these stories, and couldnt find anywhere more appropriate to put them. - So, here we go.
I think finding a pair of pants on the floor in the aircraft during turnaround in BNE was a bit interesting - they were on the floor in front of the seat - as if somebody had just slipped them off and stepped out of them - why why why?
Then there was the lady - who was acting a bit odd at the Boarding Gate - she boarded and was seated in 1F - we thought she may have just been a little nervous - so thought nothing of it. Until we took off!
She started meowing and rubbing her hands on her face - like a cat would wipe its whiskers. Then, when the seatbelt sign was switched off - she began to crawl around the floor at the front of the aircraft - meowing the entire time - should we have put down a saucer of milk? - we'll never know. When she had finished her meow on the floor - she climbed up onto the lap of the man seated in 1E and proceeded to purr like a cat! - we still have no idea what that was all about.
Then, in response to Mullets/Mullays etc - have you ever played 'Thong Lotto' - its quite easy - you have a quick look at how many pax you have manifested - and then all crew members have to put a couple of dollars into a hat and guess how many pairs of thongs will be worn onto the aircraft - its best to count them at the gate during disembarkation - the one that guesses closest top the correct number - takes all the money.
Its quite fun - and always worth a laugh - my personal favourite are the folks that wear their 'good thongs' - what the?
aahhh - the joys of the glamour jobs!
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DJFlyBoy
Thong Lotto! Thats PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mate I fell clean off my chair laughing when I read that... I have often played Nosewheel Roulette etc with my crew (mark the outside of the nosewheel with chalk into the appropriate number of sections - that is, the number of players - put a number in each section, everyone puts in say $1 and whoever's number is closest to the ground after landing wins) but never thong lotto!!!!!
As far as CatLady goes I have heard that story before, who the hell told me???? Hmm Djflyboy perhaps it was you?
Highly amusing folks, keep it up, I am doing a red eye tonight so who knows come tomorrow I may have something more to post here for you all!!!!!
Oh and a quick thought re Thong Lotto. Perhaps it could be extended to a somewhat grander scale - The Bogan Lotto Superdraw? Different divisions - eg # of thongs, # of mullets, # of teeth in both the upper and lower jaw? Entry forms can have as little or much information as desired? Although I shudder to think what the prizes may consist of when you think about the post re mullet pieces on floor/in seat pocket etc
Thong Lotto! Thats PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mate I fell clean off my chair laughing when I read that... I have often played Nosewheel Roulette etc with my crew (mark the outside of the nosewheel with chalk into the appropriate number of sections - that is, the number of players - put a number in each section, everyone puts in say $1 and whoever's number is closest to the ground after landing wins) but never thong lotto!!!!!
As far as CatLady goes I have heard that story before, who the hell told me???? Hmm Djflyboy perhaps it was you?
Highly amusing folks, keep it up, I am doing a red eye tonight so who knows come tomorrow I may have something more to post here for you all!!!!!
Oh and a quick thought re Thong Lotto. Perhaps it could be extended to a somewhat grander scale - The Bogan Lotto Superdraw? Different divisions - eg # of thongs, # of mullets, # of teeth in both the upper and lower jaw? Entry forms can have as little or much information as desired? Although I shudder to think what the prizes may consist of when you think about the post re mullet pieces on floor/in seat pocket etc
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I like the idea of a lotto/bingo - might be one of many ways to increase our income! We can add it to our 'commission'
Now for my spin on our super-glam destinations (notice how Rockhampton is never used in the same line as 'New York, Paris, London, Rome, Williamtown'?)
ROK (Rockhampton)
As said previously - great beef. And that's just the men.
I kept missing the marines on my rosters! Maybe that was for a reason? After all, considering I went off 'unenhanced' at Mardi Gras Ditz, who knows what I could be capable of in a hot, throbbing, frustrated regional city?
MKY (Mackay)
Canelands...and that was it. That's where it all starts and finishes in Mackay.
Oh it's THE mecca and don't you forget it!
Recent conversation between MS2 and significant other:
"What did you get up to in Mackay dear?"
"Oh you know, visited Coles, the chemist, Target...good times by one and all"
"Anything else?"
"Oh, well, I bought a new toothbrush there."
Once got maggoted at a Sports/RSL club (can't even remember what it was called)...got tangled in fence straggling back to the hotel. Very surreal. And at night too...strangely quiet as I recall, which only added to drunken feeling of dread and hilarity. Well, I was drinking wine from the cask ("Another Special Lexia thanks waiter").
LST (Launceston)
Those bloody geese.
Wallabies coming up to your window for a perve...blesssssssss.
Middle of nowhere. Just like Mackay really, only with grass!
Loved the hotel - will miss it dearly.
HBA (Hobart)
Will soooo miss the 50% discount on everything. Don't think the hotel will miss us though - whoever struck that deal from the hotel must have copped a caning at some point.
And the bitter and twisted restaurant staff were always a treat. Funny how the one girl everyone wrote a complaint about was made a supervisor of the restaurant! Not all bad...only a few twitchy ones among the group.
MEL (Melbourne)
Great hotel if you love airports. And expensive room service menus.
Apart from that, very naaaaaa-arce and plush!
OOL (Coolangatta/Gold Coast)
Typical - change the hotel and THEN stop the overnights. Oh well - those two occasions where I made it as far as Pacific Fair were great fun.
The shopping! The glamour! The now, the new, the future!
The white singlets with black bras!
The streaks from badly applied fake tan!
The white linen - everywhere you looked, white linen (why?)
The would-be's if they could-be's!
The pretentiousness, without the bank balance!
Those mid-riff tops that say "I'm With Stupid" (sold WITH the cap to the first 100 bogans through the doors)...take note Ditz...wherever the cap is, the matching top ain't far behind (with Faberge jeans, the ones mum wore to the last Cold Chisel performance back in '83). The ones that are handed down from mother to daughter - a generational family heirloom from way back.
BNE (Brisbane)
The heady, dizzying heights of Queensland all centre here. Oh yes...BNE is the place to be. And the BNE Hilton is no exception.
The British Rugby Team...sigh ...in the pool...
The Atrium that looked like it was fresh from the set of Towering Inferno (the elevator is SOOO the same one...I don't care what anyone says!)
And it's the transit lounge for EVERYONE from EVERYWHERE in Queensland. From Bundaberg to Thangool, from Bamaga to Blackbutt...everyone comes through Brisbane at one point or another...the dreams, the dramas, the human emotion, the climactic hysteria that was setting foot in THEIR capital city!
Nev: "Look Von - they've got a Myer and everything!"
Von: "I wouldn't mind a new pair of slacks to wear to Teegan and Tyrone's wedding next week at the Golden Duck Function Centre"
Nev: "Hang the expense woman - get yourself a new frock while you're at it!"
Von: "Can the Bankcard stand it Nev?"
Nev: "Don't you worry about a thing nookie monster...I'll take care of everything"
NTL (Williamtown/Newcastle)
Who designed those rooms? Someone took a trip on the Ecstasy Express before putting pen to paper on THOSE rooms. I mean - what were they thinking?
"I want cupboards...cupboards, cupboards, cupboards EVERYWHERE!"
Saturday nights of course were the only time NTL really went off - not unusual, considering the Wests club/hotel is the only place open after midnight THROUGHOUT Newcastle on Saturday. Between the silver boob tubes and a pair of borrowed leather pants, it's the place to be in NSW (better believe it girls!)
Sadly we were always on min rest - and considering you faced MCY the next day, it was always better the devil you knew (it's the only service I know where the ratio of children to adults far exceeded any other flight I've crewed).
No unscheduled overnights in any other exotic ports we've served. Sadly! Who knows Ditz - I just may get a rather thrilling unscheduled stop in Avalon if I play my cards right (where's that Depend pad?)
Now for my spin on our super-glam destinations (notice how Rockhampton is never used in the same line as 'New York, Paris, London, Rome, Williamtown'?)
ROK (Rockhampton)
As said previously - great beef. And that's just the men.
I kept missing the marines on my rosters! Maybe that was for a reason? After all, considering I went off 'unenhanced' at Mardi Gras Ditz, who knows what I could be capable of in a hot, throbbing, frustrated regional city?
MKY (Mackay)
Canelands...and that was it. That's where it all starts and finishes in Mackay.
Oh it's THE mecca and don't you forget it!
Recent conversation between MS2 and significant other:
"What did you get up to in Mackay dear?"
"Oh you know, visited Coles, the chemist, Target...good times by one and all"
"Anything else?"
"Oh, well, I bought a new toothbrush there."
Once got maggoted at a Sports/RSL club (can't even remember what it was called)...got tangled in fence straggling back to the hotel. Very surreal. And at night too...strangely quiet as I recall, which only added to drunken feeling of dread and hilarity. Well, I was drinking wine from the cask ("Another Special Lexia thanks waiter").
LST (Launceston)
Those bloody geese.
Wallabies coming up to your window for a perve...blesssssssss.
Middle of nowhere. Just like Mackay really, only with grass!
Loved the hotel - will miss it dearly.
HBA (Hobart)
Will soooo miss the 50% discount on everything. Don't think the hotel will miss us though - whoever struck that deal from the hotel must have copped a caning at some point.
And the bitter and twisted restaurant staff were always a treat. Funny how the one girl everyone wrote a complaint about was made a supervisor of the restaurant! Not all bad...only a few twitchy ones among the group.
MEL (Melbourne)
Great hotel if you love airports. And expensive room service menus.
Apart from that, very naaaaaa-arce and plush!
OOL (Coolangatta/Gold Coast)
Typical - change the hotel and THEN stop the overnights. Oh well - those two occasions where I made it as far as Pacific Fair were great fun.
The shopping! The glamour! The now, the new, the future!
The white singlets with black bras!
The streaks from badly applied fake tan!
The white linen - everywhere you looked, white linen (why?)
The would-be's if they could-be's!
The pretentiousness, without the bank balance!
Those mid-riff tops that say "I'm With Stupid" (sold WITH the cap to the first 100 bogans through the doors)...take note Ditz...wherever the cap is, the matching top ain't far behind (with Faberge jeans, the ones mum wore to the last Cold Chisel performance back in '83). The ones that are handed down from mother to daughter - a generational family heirloom from way back.
BNE (Brisbane)
The heady, dizzying heights of Queensland all centre here. Oh yes...BNE is the place to be. And the BNE Hilton is no exception.
The British Rugby Team...sigh
...in the pool...The Atrium that looked like it was fresh from the set of Towering Inferno (the elevator is SOOO the same one...I don't care what anyone says!)
And it's the transit lounge for EVERYONE from EVERYWHERE in Queensland. From Bundaberg to Thangool, from Bamaga to Blackbutt...everyone comes through Brisbane at one point or another...the dreams, the dramas, the human emotion, the climactic hysteria that was setting foot in THEIR capital city!
Nev: "Look Von - they've got a Myer and everything!"
Von: "I wouldn't mind a new pair of slacks to wear to Teegan and Tyrone's wedding next week at the Golden Duck Function Centre"
Nev: "Hang the expense woman - get yourself a new frock while you're at it!"
Von: "Can the Bankcard stand it Nev?"
Nev: "Don't you worry about a thing nookie monster...I'll take care of everything"
NTL (Williamtown/Newcastle)
Who designed those rooms? Someone took a trip on the Ecstasy Express before putting pen to paper on THOSE rooms. I mean - what were they thinking?
"I want cupboards...cupboards, cupboards, cupboards EVERYWHERE!"
Saturday nights of course were the only time NTL really went off - not unusual, considering the Wests club/hotel is the only place open after midnight THROUGHOUT Newcastle on Saturday. Between the silver boob tubes and a pair of borrowed leather pants, it's the place to be in NSW (better believe it girls!)
Sadly we were always on min rest - and considering you faced MCY the next day, it was always better the devil you knew (it's the only service I know where the ratio of children to adults far exceeded any other flight I've crewed).
No unscheduled overnights in any other exotic ports we've served. Sadly! Who knows Ditz - I just may get a rather thrilling unscheduled stop in Avalon if I play my cards right (where's that Depend pad?)