I like the idea of a lotto/bingo - might be one of many ways to increase our income! We can add it to our 'commission'
Now for my spin on our super-glam destinations (notice how Rockhampton is never used in the same line as 'New York, Paris, London, Rome, Williamtown'?)
ROK (Rockhampton)
As said previously - great beef. And that's just the men.
I kept missing the marines on my rosters! Maybe that was for a reason? After all, considering I went off 'unenhanced' at Mardi Gras Ditz, who knows what I could be capable of in a hot, throbbing, frustrated regional city?
MKY (Mackay)
Canelands...and that was it. That's where it all starts and finishes in Mackay.
Oh it's THE mecca and don't you forget it!
Recent conversation between MS2 and significant other:
"What did you get up to in Mackay dear?"
"Oh you know, visited Coles, the chemist, Target...good times by one and all"
"Anything else?"
"Oh, well, I bought a new toothbrush there."
Once got maggoted at a Sports/RSL club (can't even remember what it was called)...got tangled in fence straggling back to the hotel. Very surreal. And at night too...strangely quiet as I recall, which only added to drunken feeling of dread and hilarity. Well, I was drinking wine from the cask ("Another Special Lexia thanks waiter").
LST (Launceston)
Those bloody geese.
Wallabies coming up to your window for a perve...blesssssssss.
Middle of nowhere. Just like Mackay really, only with grass!
Loved the hotel - will miss it dearly.
HBA (Hobart)
Will soooo miss the 50% discount on everything. Don't think the hotel will miss us though - whoever struck that deal from the hotel must have copped a caning at some point.
And the bitter and twisted restaurant staff were always a treat. Funny how the one girl everyone wrote a complaint about was made a supervisor of the restaurant! Not all bad...only a few twitchy ones among the group.
MEL (Melbourne)
Great hotel if you love airports. And expensive room service menus.
Apart from that, very naaaaaa-arce and plush!
OOL (Coolangatta/Gold Coast)
Typical - change the hotel and THEN stop the overnights. Oh well - those two occasions where I made it as far as Pacific Fair were great fun.
The shopping! The glamour! The now, the new, the future!
The white singlets with black bras!
The streaks from badly applied fake tan!
The white linen - everywhere you looked, white linen (why?)
The would-be's if they could-be's!
The pretentiousness, without the bank balance!
Those mid-riff tops that say "I'm With Stupid" (sold WITH the cap to the first 100 bogans through the doors)...take note Ditz...wherever the cap is, the matching top ain't far behind (with Faberge jeans, the ones mum wore to the last Cold Chisel performance back in '83). The ones that are handed down from mother to daughter - a generational family heirloom from way back.
BNE (Brisbane)
The heady, dizzying heights of Queensland all centre here. Oh yes...BNE is the place to be. And the BNE Hilton is no exception.
The British Rugby Team...sigh
...in the pool...
The Atrium that looked like it was fresh from the set of Towering Inferno (the elevator is SOOO the same one...I don't care what anyone says!)
And it's the transit lounge for EVERYONE from EVERYWHERE in Queensland. From Bundaberg to Thangool, from Bamaga to Blackbutt...everyone comes through Brisbane at one point or another...the dreams, the dramas, the human emotion, the climactic hysteria that was setting foot in THEIR capital city!
Nev: "Look Von - they've got a Myer and everything!"
Von: "I wouldn't mind a new pair of slacks to wear to Teegan and Tyrone's wedding next week at the Golden Duck Function Centre"
Nev: "Hang the expense woman - get yourself a new frock while you're at it!"
Von: "Can the Bankcard stand it Nev?"
Nev: "Don't you worry about a thing nookie monster...I'll take care of everything"
NTL (Williamtown/Newcastle)
Who designed those rooms? Someone took a trip on the Ecstasy Express before putting pen to paper on THOSE rooms. I mean - what were they thinking?
"I want cupboards...cupboards, cupboards, cupboards EVERYWHERE!"
Saturday nights of course were the only time NTL really went off - not unusual, considering the Wests club/hotel is the only place open after midnight THROUGHOUT Newcastle on Saturday. Between the silver boob tubes and a pair of borrowed leather pants, it's the place to be in NSW (better believe it girls!)
Sadly we were always on min rest - and considering you faced MCY the next day, it was always better the devil you knew (it's the only service I know where the ratio of children to adults far exceeded any other flight I've crewed).
No unscheduled overnights in any other exotic ports we've served. Sadly! Who knows Ditz - I just may get a rather thrilling unscheduled stop in Avalon if I play my cards right (where's that Depend pad?)