Caption Competition Mk II

[Buster Hyman]

Not a Caption. Buster has gone missing; he has had the call from Goodison Park
Couldn't do much worse than the last 6! :mad:

Anyway...many thanks Kilty. Always an honour.

Seeing we're on a theme...


https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/980x552/8f8b8ad3d24699666567963e894745cc_8b1a54cab90d023f5cf4de94905 3a1a4d0f0a9f0.jpg

[c52]

"Yeah, it has a lot of eager, happy, smiling people in it, but I'm blowed if I can see how you're going to use it in a Christmas TV advert for Morrisons."

[c52]

The tin contains a great big block of chocolate, and the solder is thinking, 'It's mine, and all for me'.

[Wensleydale]

Brian had developed a new method of mine clearance. Running with the tin of chocolate, he would suddenly stop just before the tapes and take cover.

[c52]

As part of the US's commitment to international development, natives are taught to play rugby, even if it is necessary to improvise the ball.

[c52]

Nike return to the drawing board in an attempt to reinvent the running shoe.

[Ascend Charlie]

The sergeant was plainly going to win the "Standing still on one leg" contest - all the others are about to fall over.

[Kiltrash]

Eilain and I were teaching them rudimentary ball skills, little did we realise OJ Simpson had been conscripted

[Kiltrash]

VAR check and Handball is given

[Kiltrash]

WHATDUYAMEAN you found it over there, ticking …..

[Kiltrash]

Tamara Ecclestones jewel case is found in the desert. Hank hurries to return it ….yeah right....

[Kiltrash]

Having been on a third tour of Iraq, Hank is surprised the children all callout 'Daddy'

[Kiltrash]

Having found the evidence that clears the President of Impeachment charges, Hank hurries back to base.' There be medals in this tin' he dreams

[Kiltrash]

"What's the name of that blasted Indian? "

[treadigraph]

He scores! He shoots!

[622]

"We have been trying to get them to play football for three weeks solid, but its no good, they cant organise a team, learn the rules or even wear correct footwear"

..said Abdul aged 13

[Buster Hyman]

(Ineligible) "Hey kids. It was great playing with you but none of have the required skills to make it sorry. However, fear not. The Russians will be here after us & they have all the "good stuff" that can make you into elite athletes!"

[ShyTorque]

United Nations were later called in to investigate reports of blatant popcorn theft.

[Kiltrash]

Senior Pilots post makes no sense with regard to the picture, but since when was that a pre requisite?.
However....
Could have been worse than Iraq, we might have been playing in Denver this weekend

[Kiltrash]

Upon seeing this picture Trump finally realises what he did with the Nuclear Football on his last trip to Afghanistan.

[NutLoose]

Why 2 there was nothing wrong with 1

[c52]

"OK, everyone, run, run, run as fast as you can, and whoever gets to Brexit first is the winner!"

[just another jocky]

Why 2 there was nothing wrong with 1

Quote from the last post on thread #1:

It's been 15 years since this thread was started by airborne_artist (https://www.pprune.org/members/89209-airborne_artist) and all those years have produced a magnificent 58,040 posts. Like all good things it must now make way for Caption Competition Mk II, mainly because the system just can't manage such a multitude of posts when it comes to the most basic moderation which ties us up for ages while the IB servers grind away...and away....and away.

Although now locked, this thread will remain for as long as IB will allow. Thanks for the memories and see you on Caption Competition Mk II (https://www.pprune.org/military-aviation/628118-caption-competition-mk-ii.html) https://www.pprune.org/images/smilies/cool.gif https://www.pprune.org/images/smilies/thumbs.gif

[Buster Hyman]

Why 2 there was nothing wrong with 1

Poor Nutty. He's just realised that he's got to go through the next 50,000 posts on "my thread"...

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/220x172/tenor_60f38e248b78df4ed4cfd7a29d6bc1c9a1610e7f.gif

[Martin the Martian]

Typical Yank. Shows up for rugby dressed for American football.

[Kiltrash]

Before joining up Hank was a postman and old habits die hard, especially at Christmas and getting to Mrs Higgins at the Grange for the extra special Present after her husband went to work.

and not a caption, Buster I was going to make a comment about Nutty getting upset when he realised this would ALWAYS now be known as YOUR football. but I restrained myself in the hope you would get in first.

[Kiltrash]

Sorry children you are not poor enough for this gift, I am looking for more needy kids, like George, Charlotte and Louis, in Central London

[c52]

"You need to understand one thing, kids:
I'm bigger than you - errm -
and you need to understand two things, kids:
I'm bigger than you and I've got the drum so I'm going to be the Little Drummer Boy in the Nativity Play this year."

[lomapaseo]

The guy in the back just realized he had triggered a real suicide vest

[MPN11]

Rumours of the new and enhanced MRE had the local population excited.

[MPN11]

Chuck was a miserable sod, as he taunted the locals with his disguised tin of Pork Scratchings

[MPN11]

Spotting the guy at the back, the Referee blew the whistle for Obstruction.

[MPN11]

Dave “The Perv” Chuckleberry ran faster, hoping that some girls would join the chase.

[ShyTorque]

"You need to understand one thing, kids:
I'm bigger than you - errm -
and you need to understand two things, kids:
I'm bigger than you and I've got the drum so I'm going to be the Little Drummer Boy in the Nativity Play this year."

In the what?

[Kiltrash]

Hank goes rattle rattle rattke....thinks he is a Abrams A1M1

[Kiltrash]

After emigrating to America Harry enlists in the US Rangers. So he can get back to where he was happiest and gets to play with children to keep Megan satisfied

[c52]

The Quorn Hunt no longer hunts with dogs. Hunting with children has not been banned

[c52]

Disney's Pied Piper of Hamelin (2019).

[Flying Hi]

"Bags I a window seat!"

[c52]

Thiinks: This is so embarrassing.

"Listen everyone! I'm the front half of a horse, him over there is the Dame, and where the **** has the other half of the horse got to?"

"HE'S BEHIND YOU"

"NOT NOW, KIDS, THAT COMES LATER."

[Ascend Charlie]

The rush was on to get to the Senate for the impeachment vote.

[Ascend Charlie]

Private "Parts" Epstein showed the kids that his GPS ankle bracelet must have fallen off, and said it would be great fun if they went with him into the sand dunes to look for it...

[Kiltrash]

Nutty decides not to play and takes his ball home. after all with Buster as the Judge, Jury and executioner he has NO chance.

[Kiltrash]

Jonah Lomu in South Africa 1995 gets in some practice before the semi final

[Kiltrash]

With the AFL taking games to London it was not far off that games were played in Baghdad

[Wensleydale]

In a recent initiative, Helicopter Crews are trained to run away from underage girls.

[Kiltrash]

Pretend its actually the British Army

If the MOD had not spent soo much on the Queen Lz and F35 we could have had a couple of Camels, ah well running is safer than walking

[c52]

"Getting local kids to lark around a bit is enough to write 'distinguished military career' on my CV."

[treadigraph]

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/980x552/8f8b8ad3d24699666567963e894745cc_8b1a54cab90d023f5cf4de94905 3a1a4d0f0a9f0.jpg

Corporal Maxwell Q Klinger brings up the rear as usual, even though he'd swapped his stilettos for a pair of all terrain sandals...

[FinelyChopped]

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. OK, that's passed the 10-character minimum. Now for the caption.

BUNDLE!

[lomapaseo]

Guess who farted

[Kiltrash]

I cant believe it, a bunch of middle aged men and kids playing football and not a Man United shirt in sight

[c52]

At the top of his voice: "Hey, mate - I can't remember what the top secret instructions said to do when we'd lured the mob out of the shade of the tree."

[Penny Washers]

Hank knew that he did not have to win the Friday evening race to get the prettiest camel. His tin of camel treats was always going to put him in the front line for their favours.

[Kiltrash]

I know that I signed up for the Presidents Space Force, but this is not the space I imagined

[Kiltrash]

Well I found this old lamp under a rock and when I rubbed it a Genie gave me 3 wishes and I asked for a great big weapon, a great attraction to others and the ability to see in the dark. and this is what I got

[c52]

"And so, as our tour of Crossrail concludes, I'm sure you'll all agree there's no sign at all of any work being done, a tribute to the Considerate Contractors scheme."

[cavuman1]

Young and old alike enjoyed the annual Easter Grenade hunt.

- Ed

[ivor toolbox]

Yep...we told them you were Tom Cruise!
ttfn

[MPN11]

If only Carlsberg made Baggage Loaders at airports.

[MPN11]

Run for cover, guys. Boeing’s latest rocket failure is about to crash somewhere near here ...

[/topical joke] :)

[clitenau]

=leftWhy is he holding the ball in his hands? Who plays football like that?

[Buster Hyman]

I think it's safe to draw this one to a close & have a new one up for Christmas week. I have judged this one on my sheer volume of laughter at the entry so...

Runner up MPN11 with;
Chuck was a miserable sod, as he taunted the locals with his disguised tin of Pork Scratchings

But, the inaugural winner of the Buster Hyman Caption Competition MkII is....

Nutty!!! with;
Why 2 there was nothing wrong with 1

:}

[Buster Hyman]

I think you can take it away MPN11, you can be the inaugural winner of the Buster Hyman Caption Competition MkII

Nutty must be busy & couldn't check in on the Buster Hyman Caption Competition MkII, but I'm sure he'll be back soon for the Buster Hyman Caption Competition MkII

:}

[MPN11]

Gosh and Thank You. I'm quite unprepared, and having difficulty in uploading images. Gizza few minutes, please.

Ah ... will this do for now? "Fake news, no medals!"


https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1333/fake_news_no_medals__eb7ce1b648f836e56fc4dc0145af7f098362b98 6.jpg

[Kiltrash]

A very orderly queue forms at Waitrose for the Christmas shopping. Sign at the door NO RIFF RAFF

[Kiltrash]

Greta Thunburg makes the Swedish Navy give up the smoke belching ships

[Kiltrash]

'PARADE WILL DRESS RIGHT'

[treadigraph]

Bloke on right:

"It's no use following me, it's still MY turn to carry the sword for another hour..."

[Ascend Charlie]

(Third from right) '...left foot...right foot...left foot...left ..no..right..ahh ****..."

[c52]

IKEA recruit new security staff to ensure no one leaves before they've been in the shop for four hours.

[Asturias56]

(Third from right) '...left foot...right foot...left foot...left ..no..right..ahh ****..."
:p - that made me laugh out loud....................

[Kiltrash]

After getting to Nutty's house and finding no one in the Coffman Starter Honour guard re form for the long march to MPN11's house

[Kiltrash]

The RSM checks Queens Regulation to check is it a belt or a sash?

[Kiltrash]

Bloke third from the right, Hmm he's got a nice arse.....

[treadigraph]

Bloke third from right: "ooh, a WhatsApp from mumsy, aw, the cat's had her kittens, three boys and two girls, ahhhh!"

[Penny Washers]

"Mostly harmless." [per Douglas Adams]

[SASless]

Nothing uniform about this Lot!

[ShyTorque]

P’raps if we whistle and hum loud enough no-one will notice we’ve forgotten to bring the trumpets and drums..

[Kiltrash]

Still no females or ethnic minority at West Point?? .....Gotta keep the President happy

[Kiltrash]

Relaxation of the minimum height requirements allows some of the seven dwarfs into West Point

[Ascend Charlie]

With the hares wearing a white belt and the hounds wearing yellow, the army version of a Hash Run needed some tweaking to get it to work. (Trump: #Run?? I will make it a # March! and none of that sissy british "on-on" stuff either!)

[Wensleydale]

"Eyes Down, Chests In - Don't swing your arms"!

The US Military practises being sloppy at drill.

[andytug]

"I don't know but I've been told.... Eskimo pussy is mighty cold...."

[SASless]

Dress PT Belts...only the Brits would think that a required Uniform Item!

[Big Pistons Forever]

Why do those guys look so glum ?

They just got to see Navy show them which service knows how to play college football

GO Navy !

[Ascend Charlie]

(Third from left) "Oooh look! It's Section Officer Harvey, and she's showing me her fur-edged knickers!"

[Buster Hyman]

The new Impeachment drill went down a treat!

[treadigraph]

OK boys. Do you want to be pilots or do you want to grow up?

[Kiltrash]

While crossing the suspension bridge the troops are told to break step. Not break wind....

[Kiltrash]

Don't think much of the camouflage

[Kiltrash]

Everyone wishes they were the radio man safe at the back of the division

[c52]

Gays..... } ...................rains
..............} I hope it ............................because these pants will become perfectly see-through when wet
Straights } ..............doesn't rain

[Runaway Gun]

Tom Cruise puts some serious preparation into his latest Maverick movie...

[Kiltrash]

(Third from left) "Oooh look! It's Section Officer Harvey, and she's showing me her fur-edged knickers!"

no I believe it's a centre parting

[capngrog]

Still no females or ethnic minority at West Point?? .....Gotta keep the President happy

Actually, the cadets pictured are at the USAF Academy, which is in Colorado Springs.

Christmas Cheers,
Grog

[Kiltrash]

The President when asked to go to Colorado for the passing out parade asked "Are they Republicans or Democrats?, that's more important to me"

Ps thanks for the Location Grog..

[Kiltrash]

At the passing out Parade, Chuck was disappointed to be sent to Afghanistan, so he resolved to take a tin of his uncle's Pork Scratchings to remind him of home. What could possibly go wrong, he mused...

[c52]

"Smile, men, smile. We're doing this walking bus so that all the country's schoolchildren will think that walking buses are cool, and then there will not be gridlock for us when we want to drive around school start or finish time."

[SASless]

Future Air Force Pilots were identified from their Lawyer colleagues by the absence of the yellow sash and their inability to hold position in formation.

[Ascend Charlie]

"Mumble..mumble.. our dress jackets date back to the civil war...mumble... we don't even march properly... mumble .. wish we could do cool marching like they do in Korea... mumble mumble.."

[MPN11]

I shall judge later this morning, so that you're all free for christmas!

In the meantime, my Googling unearthed this exquisite and typical American overcomplication ...

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1104x1460/screenshot_2019_12_24_at_10_16_12_53cdad4cc03cb09700ecc01342 fb295a5c5c743c.png

[Kiltrash]

The sniper won't have a clue as to who is the more senior officer....
Merry Christmas all

K

[Kiltrash]

We are off to see Aladin this afternoon so

"Behind you." " Oh no he isnt" " Oh yes he is" etc

[MPN11]

Ho-Ho-Ho ... and the finalists are ... Kiltrash, Ascend Charlie and Wensleydale.

But there can only be one winner, who is on this occasion ...

*Drumroll* *Shower of sparkling snowflakes*

"Eyes Down, Chests In - Don't swing your arms"!

The US Military practises being sloppy at drill.


The CST has been despatched by reindeer-drawn sleigh with a fat bearded driver, and should be with you shortly after midnight if you've been good.

Merry Christmas to you all. :ok:

[Wensleydale]

Thanks very much!

Continuing the high standards of military dress theme:


https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/418x350/hat_fb480aca8b0e5c56f66d658f23518ff0564dc1d5.jpg

[ShyTorque]

"And the winner of the RAF support helicopter "Hat of the detachment" competition is......"

[Wander00]

You hold the right one and I will grip the one on the left, then we will have his attention

[MPN11]

“I recognise the moustache ... have we met?”

[racedo]

Where is Dorothy ?

[racedo]

What did the man mean when he said FO back to Kansas. !!!!

I am not a FO, I will have you know.

[Buster Hyman]

We always welcome diversity in the modern RAF!

[Tashengurt]

"So that's why the Paras call us Craphats!"

[SASless]

Nutty and Buster....over dressed as usual.

[c52]

Jamaica Squadron - for men whose wives have taken themselves off to the West Indies.

[Kiltrash]

Hello i'm Bill
Thanks and Hello i'm Ben.
and I am weeeed

[Kiltrash]

I say old chap, if you could possibly wait say 50 years then you can enter the British General Election

[treadigraph]

The Squadron is known as The Hatters, Sir, as in "mad as..."

[Ascend Charlie]

The prize for the best hat competition was to have 2 senior officers help you finish your wee. Hence the big smile...

[Buster Hyman]

Clearly, the Luftwaffe were missing that "X Factor" during the Battle of Britain...

[Hydromet]

"Jamaica?"
"No, she was pretty keen, actually."

[NutLoose]

"Ahh the little wings, they were presented to me by Herr Hitler, he reckoned I had done more damage to the allied war effort leading the pathfinder force and missing all of our major objectives than the Luftwaffe ever had."

[NutLoose]

"I say, it this the Fancy dress competition?"

"Yes, it was but it was unfortunately cancelled when PO Prune passed on, but don't worry so much, Dell and Rodney also turned up dressed as Batman and Robin"

[Kiltrash]

Ah PO Nutloose welcome back, you have been missed. Now I want you to head up the new Squadron, called The Banana Splits

Merry Christmas

[Kiltrash]

Cor look at the lungs on that....

[Kiltrash]

Well I was fishing off Southend Pier and look what the tide washed up

[MPN11]

"You are just the sort of chaps I've been looking for. Just change into those Santa suits over there and serve the Airmen's Christmas Dinner."

[andytug]

That's a bet then - worst gronk pulled at tonight's dance, Buster to judge!

[Ascend Charlie]

"Come on, sir, Greta said the seas were rising, so you'd better get your Mae West on!"
"What a load of cr@p!"

[MPN11]

“Merry Christmas, Sir. We have some bananas and a pineapple in the bomb bay for you, once Customs have cleared off.”

[MPN11]

“Don’t be long, it looks like rain, dear.”
”No, darling, they don’t look anything like that.”

[c52]

"No hats airside, gentlemen. FOD risk.

"Oh this? This is uniform, it's not a FOD risk."

[Kiltrash]

Well of course you may have the hand of my daughter in marriage. Once she has done her stint as the windsock

[Kiltrash]

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

( one of Mae West's quotes)

[Kiltrash]

Well thank you for saving PO Prune from the Atlantic, but the life raft would have been of more use. Now go and dry off drippy

[Kiltrash]

Luke.... I am your father

[c52]

"I can see Sweep coming out of the top of your hat, but where's Sootie?"

[Kiltrash]

In the Masons, Hoskins was surprised when the other members actually shook hands

[treadigraph]

You know Toto, somehow I don't think this is Kansas anymore...

[MPN11]

“We are wearing these baggy waterproof overalls because it was the rainy season, Sir. No sunbathing on this liaison visit.”

[cavuman1]

"The power of Christ compels you!"

- Ed

[c52]

"Good luck, men!"

"One last question, Sir... Are you quite sure this is how top civil servants in the Kremlin dress?"

[Penny Washers]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/500x375/3millz_1673e2875c93bd0f442dd65093634dea6bfa2d06.jpg
These three look even better in colour!

[Kiltrash]

As we have taken the Angel off the Christmas Tree have you anywhere to store it please , ?

[Kiltrash]

Oh these? They are waterproof beer bottle containers.

[Kiltrash]

No Worzel Gummage has enlisted. Do his bit for the War effort

[c52]

"Thank you, Sir, for performing a valuable citizen's arrest on this despicable traffic-cone thief."

[Big Pistons Forever]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/500x375/3millz_1673e2875c93bd0f442dd65093634dea6bfa2d06.jpg
These three look even better in colour!
You must have found the last 3 voters who lean left that remain in Britain

[Ascend Charlie]

Ummm...they are leaning right...

[Kiltrash]

The three wise Men agree to meet up again in 363 days

[Kiltrash]

The contenders for the Labour leadership contest. There can be only one winner and Jeremy vote goes to the middle man. Not the left or right wing candidates

[treadigraph]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/418x350/hat_fb480aca8b0e5c56f66d658f23518ff0564dc1d5.jpg
Thank you gentlemen, I've won my bet and there will be a little something for you at the bar tonight.

(chap on the right looks a bit familiar, anyone know who he is?)

[Buster Hyman]

After realising that his plan had failed, Cpl. Klinger decided to up the ante...

[MPN11]

(chap on the right looks a bit familiar, anyone know who he is?)That's been bothering me too!

[treadigraph]

It's no good Carruthers, I can see what your game is. Now had you stuffed pencils up your nostrils...

Underpants on head, Sir?

That's it Carruthers.

[Buster Hyman]

That's been bothering me too!
Well, it's clearly Clark Gable on the left though...

[Wensleydale]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/418x350/hat_fb480aca8b0e5c56f66d658f23518ff0564dc1d5.jpg
Thank you gentlemen, I've won my bet and there will be a little something for you at the bar tonight.

(chap on the right looks a bit familiar, anyone know who he is?)

Best Bet (judging by the medals and a list of Waddington's Station Commanders) is Gp Capt H P Connelly DFC; AFC; DFM.

[c52]

"Tell ENSA from me, it'll be fine as long as your friend blacks up as well as wearing the Jamaica hat."

[NutLoose]

"Yes, were from the Battle of Barking Creek Society, how did you guess?"

[NutLoose]

" No, underpants on ones head and pencils up ones nostrils is the Armies tactic, as pilots pencils are deemed as sharp objects so we're not allowed those, anyway old chap about our PVR's"

[NutLoose]

" Aaaahhh, Jamaica, now that WAS a rum business"

[NutLoose]

"if your going to smuggle in booze I would suggest you put it INSIDE the hat"

[NutLoose]

"Yes, I brought him along to keep my spirits up"

[Kiltrash]

...and at night the red beacon will guide the bombers home

[Kiltrash]

....and turn slowly round he can detect the incoming enemy aircraft

[Kiltrash]

Ah Sir, may I introduce my father, Barnes, I am modeling his latest invention, If I get shot down the Germans will assume I am mad and repatriate​​​​​ me under the Geneva Convention

[treadigraph]

I know you've changed your name to Yossarian but I'm still not going to ground you.

Catch 22, sir?

No, Queen's Regulations my boy.


Best Bet (judging by the medals and a list of Waddington's Station Commanders) is Gp Capt H P Connelly DFC; AFC; DFM.

Thanks Wensleydale, my thinking was it was somebody like Johnny Johnson but I couldn't quite place him.

[Surplus]

So if I pull the toggle, she becomes Mae West?

[ShyTorque]

No, but if you pull the wrong toggle HE'LL will punch you right on the nose!

[Kiltrash]

Having finished as Peter Pan in Pantomime Hoskins returns to his day job as the Station Mascot

[NutLoose]

"Actually they come in handy, come the Board of Inquiry the attention tends to be drawn to the hat and on the whole we tend not to be recognised"

[Kiltrash]

Hoskins returns from the Palace with his BEM proudly in a inconspicuous place

[Wensleydale]

It seems to have gone quiet...I'll have a look tomorrow (Monday).

W.

[SASless]

Bloggs had a good point but the hat disguised it quite well.

[weemonkey]

If I stand like THIS, tuck my arm like THAT....I dont need to get too close incase its catching... smile!!!

[Kiltrash]

"Kiss me Hardy"

[Kiltrash]

"Sorry sir I will have to take this one away, obviously defective"
Arnie voice. "I'll be back"

[Kiltrash]

Gp Cap to Farmer Gable, "I'm terribly sorry the aircraft destroyed your Scarecrow, Please accept Hoskins as a replacement "

[Kiltrash]

So God, Pilot and ATC Went into a bar and the Barman Said which one of you is God? they all replied ME

[Wensleydale]

Gp Cap to Farmer Gable, "I'm terribly sorry the aircraft destroyed your Scarecrow, Please accept Hoskins as a replacement "

...is our nearly New Year Winner. Take it away Kiltrash and give us a new photo for the coming week's festivities!!!

[MPN11]

Applause for Kiltrash. :ok:

[NutLoose]

Baaaa Humbug........ :p

[Kiltrash]

Just logged on during a break in a New Years eve eve Panto and found I am the last recipient of the 2019 CST to which I am truly honoured.

Will have a look through the dusty cobwebs of My brain to see if I can find a suitable picture, preferably not while still intoxicated....

Wait one please

K

[Tashengurt]

Just logged on during a break in a New Years eve eve Panto and found I am the last recipient of the 2019 CST to which I am truly honoured.

Will have a look through the dusty cobwebs of My brain to see if I can find a suitable picture, preferably not while still intoxicated....

Wait one please

K

I hope you aren't playing Widow Twanky; some of those songs will be hard to pull off p*ssed!

[ShyTorque]

Will have a look through the dusty cobwebs of My brain to see if I can find a suitable picture, preferably not while still intoxicated....

Oh no you won't!

[Kiltrash]

Where I am too old for Panto's the Grandchildren are not, so I have to go and use the opera glasses to get a better view of the stage...(skimpy clad lasses)..Oh did I think that out loud!!

So home and before the Proscetto kicks in may I offer to see us over the New Year, Tomorrow nights QF9 ..I wish

Merry New Year all


https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/400x300/funny_female_flight_attendants_4__b4e6a4b2c2d0f5c8292eb90bb3 630599eacc4f0f.jpg

[Wensleydale]

Select Legs to Manual...

[NutLoose]

Ohhh yes he will....

[NutLoose]

Pwaaaaaaaaaaaarpppp.

[Buster Hyman]

Honestly Officer, I was reaching for the door handle...

[Buster Hyman]

"Well, I think we're due an unscheduled overnight Carruthers"

[Buster Hyman]

Woop Woop...Pull Up...Woop Woop...

[Ascend Charlie]

"...and THAT'S how you open a twist-top!"

[Penny Washers]

There have been a lot of "Carry On" films over Christmas on the box - but I have never seen that one.

"Carry on with the cabin staff?"

[NutLoose]

Passing through 15,000 feet all female cabin crew are advised to open their legs to equalise pressure.

[Wensleydale]

"....and what did you ask Santa to leave in your stocking"?

[MPN11]

No harness being worn, so no risk of turbulence.

[NutLoose]

Doris was pleased to find the secondary effect from ditching her tight for stockings was that when she now farted, her knees didn't wrinkle up.

[c52]

"Sorry, gents, even LGBT staff have to wear the uniform correctly."

[MPN11]

"Come here and I'll show you why it's called a jump seat."

[Buster Hyman]

The downwind leg.

[ShyTorque]

I do prefer a leg at Christmas. Especially if it comes with stuffing.

[SASless]

"Dinah, Dinah, show us your leg.....a yard above yer knee!"

Bloggs could only hope!

[treadigraph]

Really Miss Chalmers, you must remember it's a layover, not a leg over...

[NutLoose]

"Look, if the passenger in row 6 wants a dish that does not contain nuts, send him back here and I'll show him one"

[c52]

"Yes, ladies, the best way of all to open a bottle such as the one you're holding is to rotate that big lever that says 'OPEN'."

[NutLoose]

"Damn that stick shaker was good...better than any man"

[NutLoose]

"Well, last night the Captain told me that was so good I should bottle it"

[c52]

"You're both fired. You should know that Aeroflot staff are not permitted to have nice legs, and that smiling is most strictly forbidden."

[treadigraph]

Virgin's leg room is greatly appreciated by the cognoscenti...

[lomapaseo]

Listen to this one ........

[MPN11]

“Please remember I’m here primarily for your safety. Right, that said, what’s next big boy? :) “

[Wensleydale]

The other "edited out" side of the photograph showing Corbyn sitting on the floor.

[Ascend Charlie]

Palace staff are concerned about leaking this photo from Prince Andrew's photo album.

[NutLoose]

Runway wet...wet..wet

[SASless]

If the bottle is any indication......a couple of pounds of Liver for shimming might be in order!

[c52]

Why the cockpit door is never closed, and why the captain has a rear view mirror.

Or, as he calls it, a 'leg view mirror'. He counts himself lucky when it is truly a rear view mirror.

[lomapaseo]

Why the cockpit door is never closed, and why the captain has a rear view mirror.

Or, as he calls it, a 'leg view mirror'. He counts himself lucky when it is truly a rear view mirror.

But for safety reasons they have their back to the cockpit:sad:

[Buster Hyman]

You know...I always wondered why it was called Easy Jet...

[NutLoose]

"Wow, that's a severe case of tail flutter you have got there girl"

[weemonkey]

Hmm this could get raunchy.

[NutLoose]

"Errrr I don't think those are the flaps the Captain was calling for"

[Big Pistons Forever]

Oh how I long for the good old days when flying was dangerous and sex was safe....

[Big Pistons Forever]

So that's where Boeing got the idea of the articulating main landing gear mod for the 737 Max 10 !

[Webby737]

At Boeing board meeting.
"We've found a cheap alternative to MCAS lads, we just install a couple of these in the forward and aft galleys and about 50% of the pax will run up and down the aisle to trim the aircraft as required"
"In the case of emergencies, we simply add beer"

[Penny Washers]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/400x300/funny_female_flight_attendants_4__b4e6a4b2c2d0f5c8292eb90bb3 630599eacc4f0f.jpg

In-flight entertainment takes on a new significance. Take off delays are actually welcomed by some of the passengers.

[ShyTorque]

“Say again how I get your door open?”

“Well......most of the pilots start with a gin and tonic.....”

[NutLoose]

Boeing tries a new ploy to get passengers on the Max.

[Webby737]

In the case of a cabin depressurisation take your flight attendant and place over your nose and mouth

[Buster Hyman]

Boeing tries a new ploy to get passengers on the Max.

And BOY were they shocked to find that it wasn't short for Maxine.....:eek:

[Kiltrash]

Last orders please, let this one have another 12 hours of life and then the first recipient of the 2020 edition will be announced ....

[MPN11]

The "Buy on Board" menu had a couple of extra items added for 2020.

[Wensleydale]

On the day that the Army released its new recruiting film, the airlines also release theirs.........

[NutLoose]

" Just tell the passengers we have the kippers on and breakfast will be served shortly"

[weemonkey]

“Say again how I get your door open?”

“Well......most of the pilots start with a gin and tonic.....”

That's nicely suggestive without going OTT :ok:

[Kiltrash]

Time to go to a darkened room and study the offerings, however in the meantime mine would have been along the lines of

Right that's the cattle fed, watered and lights out, time to start the party

Richard (Branson), having enjoyed a season as Widow Twanky on Broadway does not have time to change before boarding his flight to London

K

[Kiltrash]

At Boeing board meeting
"We've found a cheap alternative to MCAS lads, we just install a couple of these in the forward and aft galleys and about 50% of the pax will run up and down the aisle to trim the aircraft as required"
"In the case of emergencies, we simply add beer"

Gains Webby the first runner up slot,

However the winner and current holder of the Cap Comp trophy is Nutloose with

"Look, if the passenger in row 6 wants a dish that does not contain nuts, send him back here and I'll show him one"

[MPN11]

Some fine random coding there! :)

Now then, Nutloose, be polite eh? :D

[Kiltrash]

Still can't get how to do more than one quote in a post😑

[NutLoose]

Ok as the first of the new season, I will throw It open to those that have only won a couple of times or not at all.... So your chance is now :)

Thanks for for the trophy, shall quaff something suitable out of it.

[Buster Hyman]

Congrats Nutty. You're the first multiple time winner of the Buster Hyman Caption Competition MkII. :ok::}:}:}

[NutLoose]

Anyone?...................................

[treadigraph]

Go on Nutty! :)

[NutLoose]

I originally did this photo chop for the competition election time in case I won, I didn't, but hey ho lets run it now... Original images were from BBC, but merged by me


https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/687x571/49219279783_70541eb450_o_7eec5a16388055332c89df2d79c87170d09 20089.jpg

[Ascend Charlie]

It says, "You dirty old man!"

[NutLoose]

Oops, I Swapped it as I thought it might not work well.

[treadigraph]

It's from a Mrs Trellis from North Wales: "Dear Mr Gummidge..."

[treadigraph]

"If Diane Abbot's doing the count, you're definitely history"

[Hydromet]

"Well, the RSM said, what's under my hat is mine, what's not is his. So it's my afro."

[ShyTorque]

“It’s the only one and it’s signed with an X!”