Caption Competition Mk II

[Buster Hyman]

"We're a bit exposed up here Bruce. I'm not worried for me, I can play dead, but you...no chance."

[Ascend Charlie]

"Yeah, that's him, Rowlf the dog-catcher, he wanted to cut my nuts off. See if you can shoot his off instead!"

[Kiltrash]

Well it you tickle my nuts I won't tell the range officer you missed the barn door, with all 6 shots.

[Kiltrash]

Well Nutty changed the barrel to a 1000 mm lens, need to get him a clear picture of that warbler

[Kiltrash]

Don't you think this is a bit excessive for the plastic duck shooting gallery at the fairground?

[Buster Hyman]

"Oh Man! You've been nailing all those Liverpool players! They're going down like flies"
"I haven't fired a shot yet!"

[NutLoose]

I need you to mark the target..... go shag his leg..

[Dan Gerous]

"Are there any female dogs in the unit"?
"No, so that makes you my bitch. Fire"!

[Kiltrash]

Hoskins was convinced he had put 6 shots through the Bullseye
The Bull was not impressed
or
Clarence the Spotter kept calling missed

[Kiltrash]

Pickford. ...I hardly touched him...see VAR agreed
Kopp. ...not from here
Dog....take your mind off Mrs Higginbothams 76in telly your here to qualify for the Olympics....
​​​​​​

[Chu Chu]

Dogged by a sniper, the command post was forced to reposition.

[Chu Chu]

Uneasy over the wolf reintroduction program, Lassie calls in reinforcements.

[NutLoose]

When they said he was going out in the woods Dogging, Busters eyes lit up....

[MPN11]

Dog: “I’m the K9, and this is the inadequate K3 with a feeble sense of smell.”

Man: ”Feeble in comparison, mate, but I can still smell you from here.”

[andytug]

"Why the big pause between shots?"

"I was born with them!"

[Kiltrash]

Look would you hurry up, Dog foods on offer at ASDA. (Other Supermarkets are Available)

[Kiltrash]

Its all right for you, but I have to wear Dog Tags all the time....

[Kiltrash]

On the range at Aldershot, the Army crack sniper gets ready to display his talents.
""Spotter .... I don't need no effin spotter.:"!!
However still takes his dog out for the exercise.

[Kiltrash]

Why the dog on the scope?
Well Rex lost his sense of smell, but he does still love the hunt

[Penny Washers]

"Take out that guy with the big chainsaw first. He's going to cut down my favourite tree."

"I think that I shall never see, a poem as lovely as a tree.

"Or one that smells as interesting, too."

[Big Pistons Forever]

5 Reasons a dog spotter is better then a human spotter

1) The dog always knows who is boss
2) The dog works for treats
3) The dog smells better than your average soldier
4) Dogs don't get hurt feelings when you swear at them
5) Dogs are better company on a cold night...

[Kiltrash]

The Government finally gets serious with owners that don't pick up their own dog poo

[Kiltrash]

Sgt Hoskins later regretted blacking the scope eye piece

[Kiltrash]

The judges at Cruft later regretted not awarding Sgt Hoskins Alsation Best in Show.

[Wensleydale]

Obviously in the police....the Woodentops always had a spotter dog!

[Kiltrash]

I'll see your Woodentops and raise you Jess

[Wensleydale]

Mr Burnham is the one on the left.

[Burnt Fishtrousers]

Dog to Sniper " I used to be a JTAC you know, but got canned on account of giving my position away everytime I saw a cat or some other small furry animal..apparently 10 million quids worth of ordinance was wasted so they had to let me go"

[NutLoose]

Look all i’m saying is we have to be seen to be PC these days, so you’re going to have to job share with the cat.

[Chu Chu]

Rex was served unidentifiable mush for breakfast and spent all morning crawling on his belly and being yelled at over incomprehensible things. And now he's been assigned a dog for a spotter.

[Ascend Charlie]

"DUCK THEATHON! DUCK THEATHON! SHOOT HIM!"

[treadigraph]

Last call, I'll judge tonight... Rover and out...

[Kiltrash]

One more Taliban and we get to go to the Palace, while I collect the medals you can get to know the Corgis

[Kiltrash]

159 yards left, man does not have a Poppy, ok Spot let's remind him of what we do....

[Kiltrash]

On the cliff at Dover. Sgt Hoskins and his Police dog look to prevent the illegals from landing. Easier than apprehending them later ...

[Wensleydale]

I just wish that he wouldn't pass me targets referenced by clock code from the nearest lamp post.

[c52]

Rover, you left a pile of steaming poo 100m NNW of here. Are you going to go and fetch it, or shall I destroy it with my machine gun?

[NutLoose]

To do that you would need to be a sh*t hot shot...

[Dan Gerous]

I need to go, you got any bags?

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/654x447/dog_ad772a342cff019db40fbc0325d53b8db22471db.jpg

[Buster Hyman]

"The sign says Dogs must be on a Lead"
"Well, I can't lead him if he ain't moving!"

[Kiltrash]

Toilet door has a padlock on it. See I can shoot it off with one shot. Works all the time for Bond and Hunt... Satisfied.
Thinks damm dog wants a nice comfy bog seat. None of this squatting in nettles.

[NutLoose]

You sure your in with Peter Purves and you can get me a Blue Peter badge for taking out your rival Shep?

[Kiltrash]

I know my Semaphore is a bit rusty but I am sure there is no 'C' in 'Hunt'. Please verify

[Kiltrash]

My master used to be the cameraman on 'The Golden Shot' but he took redundancy a bit hard. Still why did he call me 'Bernie'

[treadigraph]

Plenty of brilliant responses - a few favourites:

Chu Chu: Uneasy over the wolf reintroduction program, Lassie calls in reinforcements.

MPN11: Dog: “I’m the K9, and this is the inadequate K3 with a feeble sense of smell.”
Man: ”Feeble in comparison, mate, but I can still smell you from here.”



Wensleydale Mr Burnham is the one on the left.

Nutloose: Look all i’m saying is we have to be seen to be PC these days, so you’re going to have to job share with the cat.

Dan Gerous: I need to go, you got any bags?

But the CST, suitably filled with a year's supply of Bonio, which is winging its way downunder in a Beagle Terrier goes to

Buster: "Oh Man! You've been nailing all those Liverpool players! They're going down like flies"
"I haven't fired a shot yet!"

Over to you...

[Buster Hyman]

Cheers Treads.

I won’t get a pic up until later tonight but if someone has one ready to go, please feel free to keep the ball rolling.

[Buster Hyman]

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x400/1603426725_06854a80839eeda116bcfce4508588e443be2462.jpeg

Enjoy!

[Big Pistons Forever]

Please mister postman.....

[622]

Prvt Chow passes his distraction test by only maintaining a stiff upper lip.

[Kiltrash]

Promotion to wife no 5.....yippee

[Kiltrash]

Armed ony with a first generation mobile phone Cpl Klinger is sent out to control the hordes of screaming fans at Nutty's concert

[Kiltrash]

Virgin Girl appeals to be retained

[Ascend Charlie]

The Chinese Republicans, dressed in red, admire the new hat that allows the wearer to hide his Trump hairstyle.

[Kiltrash]

Hitler Youth tries not to show his dissapointment at the Great Leaders mad moment of uniform design for the pact

[Kiltrash]

Santa's elves seek post C-19 employment

[Kiltrash]

No matter what they try, the guards at the Imperial Palace cannot to made to smile. Try doing that at Buck House..

[Dan Gerous]

Please move, you're standing on my foot!

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x400/1603426725_06854a80839eeda116bcfce4508588e443be2462.jpeg

[Dan Gerous]

Husband! Please!, Buy a smartphone, you tight git!

[Dan Gerous]

"You bring great shame on family, why you no have chest full of medals"?
"FFS Yuki, this is his passing out parade, he's only been in 10 weeks".

[Ascend Charlie]

The flight attendants finally show the right amount of deference to the pilot.

[c52]

The waxwork guard passes the 10 minutes of giggling and tickling test with flying colours, while the girls are led off weeping at their failure.

[NutLoose]

I wish that bloke with the dog would hurry up and take the shots..

[Kiltrash]

Come onto the cockpit and I will show you my joystick

[Kiltrash]

You two off and get on your respiratory masks. I have just dropped one...

[Kiltrash]

As Treadigraph announces Buster is the winner, Nutty plans his revenge

[MPN11]

"No, I liked Sir Branson more before he shave beard."

[NutLoose]

Captain Scarlett post sex change implores captain green to try it.

[Kiltrash]

Man thinks. ....'Nice and cool Trigger...nice and cool'

[treadigraph]

...cos he's got a broom up his arse!

[treadigraph]

K-pop does Regimental Marching Bands - or is it the other way round?

[Chu Chu]

Please tell me you didn't leave our little Plum Blossom in the backseat of the car again.

[OvertHawk]

The flight attendants finally show the right amount of deference to the pilot.

The pilots finally show right amount of deference to Engineer!

[Chu Chu]

You can always tell when the Division's amateur drama night is getting close.

[Kiltrash]

Iamlittle finally gets her Christmas wish. A twin sister

[Kiltrash]

A Prince, a Prince, at last I have my own Prince. Now quick darling the flight to Los Angeles leaves in a hour

[Kiltrash]

Keep looking straight ahead, straight ahead. Or they will give you a hard on....
I can fix that for you said Lotus Blossom.

[NutLoose]

Damn, that’s the last time I pick up a couple of pretty girls in Singapore, I just hope the guys don’t see these two ladyboys.

[NutLoose]

Wemember, the emotal words of Mel Gibsonman in Bwaveheat....Freesome

[NutLoose]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/590x400/image_e4b21db7a358dd045349981739f21aeaef96a28d.jpeg

[NutLoose]

But you ordered a Cherry Crush.

[Kiltrash]

What's the weather like up there?

[Kiltrash]

Left......him mine...
Right.... no him MINE
Centre spots David Walliams....no HIM mine....

[Kiltrash]

At the Peking Christmas Panto Lotus Blossom rubs the old lamp and poof she gets her wish...

[Kiltrash]

The sisters play rock paper scissors to descide who would win Lord Fashearts favour. No you can't have best of three just get on with it...

[NutLoose]

Bogies, 12 o’clock high..

[Kiltrash]

....and here's one i made earlier. Where do the Duracell go? ( other batteries are available)

[Chu Chu]

Me Too

(plus a few random characters)

[Chu Chu]

"We'll soon see whether he has the right stuff."

"Yep -- Viewers can't get enough of these Ching Dynasty palace dramas, but it's a challenge casting the eunuchs."

[Penny Washers]

Chi Li Con is delighted with the effect of giving a blow down that little tube on her new inflatable soldier doll.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

The North Korean Ladies Harmonica Orchestra prepare to play on the next graduating cadet.

[Ascend Charlie]

The North Korean Ladies Harmonica Orchestra
Wouldn't that be the Piccolo players?

[c52]

Man thinks: "I wish they'd let me wear pink."

[Wensleydale]

The presentation of the leader's jersey at the inaugural Giro di North Korea.

[Ascend Charlie]

"Prease help me, soldier man, my groves are super-grued to my chin!"

[NutLoose]

Please, Please, can you put a call through to Buster and get him to score it... :p

[NutLoose]

Pwwaaarrrppp... ahhh curried dog legs... they always give me bad wind

[c52]

The Dear Leader has personally selected the actor who is to play him in a biopic, and written one of the scenes.

[Kiltrash]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/590x400/image_e4b21db7a358dd045349981739f21aeaef96a28d.jpeg

No No Rules are Rules you must give 24 hours notice....
Especially if you want to have both of us...together.. need to check our diary.

[Kiltrash]

You have an identical brother...Yippee...

[Kiltrash]

You don't have the' Track my phone' app.....so your wife doesn't know???

( One major advantage of a old Nokia :) )

[Kiltrash]

On your belt it says 4301... Mr Nokia. Is that your 'Notches?'

[Dan Gerous]

The balcony of the Iranian Embassy and the Nave Andromeda...Swoon.

[c52]

"Look, it's nearly dark and we can see each other's faces as if it were daylight - I told you the Dear Leader was the next Sun King."

[Wensleydale]

"Say you are a pilot! Oh please say that you are a pilot!! Oh please please say that you are a pilot - I drink double vodka cokes!!"

[Wensleydale]

Just one of the very few examples of the pig trying to get to bed with a fighter pilot (it usually only happens the other way round).

[Kiltrash]

How the British Prime Minister sees himself.....in his dreams

( or Trump )

[Kiltrash]

Little did Lotus Blossom know but her hero was actually only a Rubber Dog **** Pilot from Hong Kong having lost her sense of smell due to C-19

[Big Pistons Forever]

Good things happen to those who stand and wait !

[Big Pistons Forever]

WOW !!!! That's the first time my standard pick up line "hey do you want to have sex", actually worked !

[Buster Hyman]

Last call! Judging in a couple of hours....

[Kiltrash]

Ah Mr Wayne, what else do you have on your utility belt?

[Kiltrash]

Harry was later criticised for the outfit he wore to the fancy dress party

[Kiltrash]

Great Leaders sister tried to get back in favour. Flattery does work. ....Sometimes. ..

[622]

Harry was later criticised for the outfit he wore to the fancy dress party

...but in fairness, how was he to know someone would wear the same red dress as him! :)

[Buster Hyman]

Okie-diddly-dokie then.....

In third place, and showing considerable restraint in avoiding the use of "Preeese"....
Please mister postman.....

In second place, with a sharp eye for detail...
Husband! Please!, Buy a smartphone, you tight git!

But, our winner this week...and the reason for such a long, drawn out process.....and an even harder result to type.................(God this hurts)..........:ugh:...snap out of it!









But you ordered a Cherry Crush.

Take it away....:\

[NutLoose]

You knew it made sense... :}

Ok onwards and upwards..... :)

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/750x527/img_0373_456db2b54b5fb85eb44aa07b3b687b9c09bf1f57.jpg

[Wensleydale]

"A bit hot on the round-out there, Hoskins."

[c52]

...yeah, yeah, yeah, we wanted a flying boat but that didn't require you to dip your wing into the sea to pick up an inflatable....

[c52]

FIDO landing successful - next time use plane with shorter wings.

[Wensleydale]

"Wings always droop a bit on the ground. I'd NFF it and see how it goes."

[Kiltrash]

Anyone get the number of that Lightning

[Kiltrash]

It's is gonna need a bit more to explain than a page of A4

[Kiltrash]

Ground control to Major Tom. Put your helmet on ...

[Kiltrash]

Skip says that wasnt there yesterday.

[622]

Chap on the right “well don’t look at me.....I not explaining it to the CO”

[Wensleydale]

Starmer was practising his driving on the airfield!

[Chu Chu]

Maybe building the wings out of Pharaoh's serpent material wasn't such a good idea after all.

[Kiltrash]

You think that's BAD....look over ther, that's Buster after he called the previous winner....Remember to keep sharp knives and noose''s away from him...

[Kiltrash]

Right men, keep you hands out your pockets, that's Section Officer Harvey over there..... in the mixed showers.

[Tashengurt]

"Hmm, pub?"

[treadigraph]

...and then I heard her shout "DON'T YOU YELL AT ME MR WARWICK! Next thing KERBOOOOMMMMM...!

[Dan Gerous]

Nice little shortcut to the Mess, now that you've bridged that ditch Co.


https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/750x527/img_0373_456db2b54b5fb85eb44aa07b3b687b9c09bf1f57.jpg

[Ascend Charlie]

Listen, Plt Off Icarus, the Flight Manual specifically says "DO NOT FLY TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN!"

[c52]

I'm sure the wing is meant to bend upwards when you bash it into the runway.

[c52]

A demonstration of how repurposing the wing after an accident could make emergency slides unnecessary.

[treadigraph]

Flaps? Of course it flaps. You've got to flap if you want to be a high flier...

[ivor toolbox]

If you think this side looks bad... you should see the other...

(XV181 at Thorney Island if anyone's looking)

Ttfn

[treadigraph]

It didn't take a Belgian detective to work out why Scruggs was henceforth known as Hercule Pyro...

[Ascend Charlie]

After a short discussion, the test pilots agreed that a Vne of Mach 3 was a bit too high.

[Buster Hyman]

....it'll buff out.

[Buster Hyman]

Who ordered the Cherry Crush?

[Buster Hyman]

Well Airman Icarus, would you care to explain what happened?

[Buster Hyman]

I don't get it. If your pants are wet from the landing, what's the Firemans excuse?

[Kiltrash]

One over there with the same damage to the Port wing.....

Cut and shut and bingo simples repair.
or
Hoskins again?

[Kiltrash]

Well that was a one off experiment, let's not try it again

[Kiltrash]

Well Mr Cummins, think that proves your eyesight is fine so get out of here and back to London....please ...

[Kiltrash]

Put it on fleabay? Slight damage buyer collects

[Kiltrash]

Ah Mr Gates, think you could come up with some technology so we could practice that safely?

[Kiltrash]

No in this instance there is no reset button ....

[Kiltrash]

Now trainees can anyone spot what's wrong ...
Yes Sir the Fire Chiefs helmet should be red
Stupid boy its a black and white picture....

[Kiltrash]

Ah Mr McGoo. Yours I take it....

[andytug]

"But Sir, I could not say no to Glorious Leader when he wanted to try wing-walking!"

[ShyTorque]

"And that is what happens if you buy your nav light bulbs off eBay!"

[Dan Gerous]

"Right everyone, hands on hips. #Let's do the time warp#..."


https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/750x527/img_0373_456db2b54b5fb85eb44aa07b3b687b9c09bf1f57.jpg

[Buster Hyman]

Look. As spectacular as the self immolating wing walker was, I just don't think it's sustainable.

[Buster Hyman]

Phew! That was close eh? Could you imagine if this happened in a new Growler....

[treadigraph]

The burnt bit's on the civvy side of the airfield. Let them pay for it...

[treadigraph]

Sorry sir, more bad news. The padre has just backed his Imp into your new Rover...

[Buster Hyman]

"Well, I'm sure it was just an honest misunderstanding. Tell the Alien in the white helmet that there's no hard feelings and welcome to Earth!"

[Buster Hyman]

"I'll be honest. When you said Section Officer Harvey had a ladder, we were clearly thinking about two different things."

[Buster Hyman]

Back in my day, we'd just grab another piece of fabric & stretch it over the spars.

[ivor toolbox]

This will show those U.S Marines how it's done.

Ttfn

[622]

So, we are all agreed then...scrap the inflatable wing tip idea!

[c52]

...and this is why an air-to-air missile, or in fact any rocket, has to fly a good bit faster than the aircraft that launched it.

[622]

Fire Chief "Excuse me Station Commander...fireman here wants to know where to put his hose?"

Stn Cdr "As soon as I find the pilot...I'll show him!"

[Chu Chu]

Hoskins' addition to the married officers' quarters playground is about to be disapproved due to the lack of an energy absorbing surface under the slide.

[Kiltrash]

While on exchange with the RAF, Hank found difficulty mastering the stick shift

[Kiltrash]

No No I distinctly remember saying ' You have Control'

[Kiltrash]

My last job? I was a BA Pilot on the Johannesburg run, why do you ask

[Kiltrash]

Let's just write that up as the Witch flew into us, and Halloween has been cancelled

( too early for Santa, but Covid-19 should put paid to that )

[Big Pistons Forever]

Not sure why you want me to go up the ladder, I am sure the view won't be any better from the top

[Big Pistons Forever]

What are we going to do !

Survey and redemand ?

[Big Pistons Forever]

You can write that up as an "unscheduled Unserviceability"

[Big Pistons Forever]

It's a sign !

What do you mean ?

Well the Right Wing has gone down in flames !

[Big Pistons Forever]

2 Guys on right facing each other

Sure glad our shift ended 2 minutes ago !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Those 4 point landings never end well.....

[Wensleydale]

"I did ask the co-pilot what caused it, but he told me to go to blazes".

[treadigraph]

Yes I know sparklers look pretty but they are not really a good idea when we have a fuel leak are they?

[Kiltrash]

think we should phone the Blue Angles and explain we cant let them have a Fat Albert after all.

[Kiltrash]

CO wants to see us, Please bring caps...

[Kiltrash]

Now where's that advert... ah there it is,... "Do you need a load moving? call Stobart's, no job too big or small ".. Ph Cambridge 13579

[Chu Chu]

Yes, as a matter of fact I did say we should barbeque some wings tonight . . . why are you asking?

[Wensleydale]

"That's the last time I fly with an ex-Harrier co-pilot".

[Kiltrash]

Better let the Americans know, JP 7 is not as low volatile as first thought.

[Kiltrash]

Well that's one the " Military won't bring back to Service"

[treadigraph]

If you think that's bad, you should see the F-35...

[NutLoose]

Ok calling this early to allow the recipient of the Coffman Trophy to clear some shelf space and put up one for the weekend.

Winner and for dogged determination, the trophy goes to

Kiltrash with

Now where's that advert... ah there it is,... "Do you need a load moving? call Stobart's, no job too big or small ".. Ph Cambridge 13579

and Kiltrash with

No No I distinctly remember saying ' You have Control'

2nd place and a close runner up is Buster with

"I'll be honest. When you said Section Officer Harvey had a ladder, we were clearly thinking about two different things."

and finally third is awarded to Tashengurt with his reminder of my time in the RAF with

"Hmm, pub?"

The runners up runner up was

Dan Gerous

Nice little shortcut to the Mess, now that you've bridged that ditch Co.

[Kiltrash]

My last one was to be

" We need to get this Aircraft into the Hanger Immediatly"
"The Hanger? What is it"
"It's a large building we put sick planes but that's not important right now"

[Kiltrash]

Many thanks Nutty. New picture when I get home..
Standby....

[Kiltrash]

OK Folks, only 9 holes today so sharpen the crayons we have

"When I grow up I want to be a ...." (Military Optional)

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x806/9485948639_ec3623a864_o_e39c4c5f9beece32a960e62a675838b88d39 fb01.jpg

[Buster Hyman]

Talk to me Goose...

[Buster Hyman]

(Left) "When I grow up I want to be a Heart Surgeon. Man, that Officers Mess is a killer!"

[Buster Hyman]

"When I grow up I want to play for Newcastle.Sod this Pilot malarkey"

[Wensleydale]

"I want to be a pilot when I grow up".

"Be real - you can't do both!"

[NutLoose]

I want to be able to reach the blinds handle

[NutLoose]

I want a job where they don't plaster you with stickers.

[treadigraph]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x806/9485948639_ec3623a864_o_e39c4c5f9beece32a960e62a675838b88d39 fb01.jpg

[treadigraph]

Don't roll it, I'm not strapped in!

[treadigraph]

This formation flying really gives one neck ache!

[NutLoose]

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x806/9485948639_ec3623a864_o_e39c4c5f9beece32a960e62a675838b88d39 fb01_c46ddcfa73e90b6aa3d1a9269c9aabd1d994465d.jpg

I remember showing a couple of young lads around in my past, the youngest one, dead keen on Army helicopters he was, and look where he is now, ostracized by his own Country and forced to flee to shack up with some third rate actress in a borrowed house, while he hawks his limited talents around like second rate skivvy.

Now the older lad, keen as mustard, he wanted to join us in the RAF and fly SAR Helicopters, he is going places, living in huge house with several bigger houses in his future, married to a sweetheart with lovely kids and the world is his oyster... that's what the RAF gives you boys.

[pasta]

This aircraft is fitted with a command ejection system. When I pull this handle, the two men behind me will pick up your seat, with you still strapped in, and throw it in that bush over there.

[NutLoose]

My my son, you're wearing more webbing than Section Officer Harvey does.

[NutLoose]

Of course by the time you're old enough, this kit will all be ancient relics and you will be flying a portacabin on the edge of some desolate airfield miles from the action.

[c52]

Child on our left: "Daddy, I want to play on the beach. You can't kid me that this is a deck-chair."

[MPN11]

When I grow up I want to be a WAAF Section Officer and have the older generations obsessed about me.

[Dan Gerous]

OK Luke, let's go and f*** some Wamp Rats.

[MPN11]

Somehow all that fratting around with straps and helmets didn’t appeal, so eventually they both joined the Civil Service.

[MPN11]

“OK, Bro ... you vote Trump and I’ll vote Biden. Mail-in, obviously.”

[Buster Hyman]

On the left, the USAF seat configuration. On the right, the Alabama ANG.

[Ascend Charlie]

Our parents strapped us in here while they ducked off to have sex. Oh well, we will be free in about 3 minutes...

[Wensleydale]

"But I want to play with that mini-gun"....

[cattletruck]

All ready for when grand pops comes to pick up the kids in his Landrover.

[Dan Gerous]

Did someone say strap in or strap on?

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1200x806/9485948639_ec3623a864_o_e39c4c5f9beece32a960e62a675838b88d39 fb01.jpg

[NutLoose]

Ok chewy, let’s go beat the Kessler run record.

[ShyTorque]

“I was much taller than her before I ejected!”

[Big Pistons Forever]

Enjoy kids, the way the defence budget is going that’s the last fast jet seat you will ever sit in.....

[Big Pistons Forever]

When I grow up I want to be a Pilot !

Errr I think you you mean “Tactical Air Effects Onboard Facilitator”

[NutLoose]

Errr I think you you mean “Tactical Air Effects Remote Facilitator” ;)

[treadigraph]

Errr, I think you mean Tea Boy...

[Chu Chu]

God's gift to man, like my father was.

[Kiltrash]

Bit early to call, unless wanted, so last orders and call Monday 09.00
K

[c52]

"So if I'm a pilot when I grow up, I get to sit here for 12 hours?"
-- "That's right. And every three hours you tell the passengers what you can see out of your window, because they can't see it."
-- "And then what?"
-- "You spend a couple of nights in a hotel identical to thousands of other hotels at airports around the world, and then you do the same thing again."

[Kiltrash]

Time to call this...
Mine was When I grow up I want to be a Page 3 photographer. pays poor but its all Peaks and Troughs....

However Ascend Charlie wins with

Our parents strapped us in here while they ducked off to have sex. Oh well, we will be free in about 3 minutes...

The blindingly obvious runner up was Wensleydale with

"I want to be a pilot when I grow up".

"Be real - you can't do both!"

AC you have control

[Ascend Charlie]

Thank you Mr Rash.
Here's a quick one.
https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/515x672/cap_nov3_95fcc3fc9970e75a930a7584a5e8a95b7c083064.jpg

[c52]

We wear soft hats airside because look what the men's hard hats did to the plane's nose.

[c52]

Girl behind You two can laugh but look what my Hank has painted on his plane

[Ascend Charlie]

"My Nigel said he named his aircraft after me, but all I saw was "Miss Take".

[Ascend Charlie]

"Congratulations on getting the Daily Double - the CO and the OPSO on the same night!"
"It would have been the Trifecta, but the CFI was winning the Quinella with you and Section Officer Harvey!"

[Kiltrash]

General. ...thank you Miss Hoskins at last a aircraft we can use twice

[Kiltrash]

Proof Positive that in 1950's America the Masons allowed women

[Kiltrash]

After the pictures were taken the Officer ripped shreds out the crew for allowing their hair to escape

[NutLoose]

The two girls congratulate Bruce on his on going sex change results.

[NutLoose]

Yes he kept complaining the peak was stabbing him in the belly.

[NutLoose]

Doris worried she would get passed over, points out she is still a Miss.



..

[Kiltrash]

I only left the kids in the cockpit for a few minutes while me and their dad did some jiggling....

[Kiltrash]

Scully proudly shows the bird strike dents

[Kiltrash]

The names Bond, Jane Bond

[NutLoose]

These damned hairy Mary's, it's like a couple of Brillo pads rubbing together...

[NutLoose]

Bye Amelia, we'll miss you..

[c52]

Photographer thinks: "Really must get the Air Force to do something about the fit of the ladies' trousers."

[treadigraph]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/515x672/cap_nov3_95fcc3fc9970e75a930a7584a5e8a95b7c083064.jpg

You just got married? Congratulations, now you're a DINKY WASP...

[c52]

What a lovely joke - write please stand up just under the radome, and they all do and tallest ones bash their heads!

[Dan Gerous]

Listen you misogynistic pigs, it's MIZZ, not Miss

[NutLoose]

Yup, now I can see why a lot of US troops over here take a British war bride home with them.

[622]

Welcome to the Auillary Womens Ballon Corps Hoskins.....are you wearing aftershave?

[Buster Hyman]

Are you sure we got all the Gremlins out? I can see one right there!

[Buster Hyman]

"I'll take this one Ma'am. Betty, you can take Miss Chlamydiae..."

[Buster Hyman]

"Great flying. Terrific landing. But you can't park here!"

[Wensleydale]

To quote an old RCAF recruiting poster....

"She serves so men may fly".

[Kiltrash]

Remember if you are in the man's Air Force you dress as a man. Which side do you hang? ....