Caption Competition Mk II

[Buster Hyman]

I don’t get it. Grandpa landed a Bomber here back in the war with no problems.

[Chu Chu]

Hoskins, fifth from left, is already writing the accident report: No horizontal stabilizer fitted.

[Kiltrash]

Amazingly no sheep were harmed in this incident

[treadigraph]

Hoskins, Delta V is all to do with the NASA Apollo Space Program and nothing at all with bomber ops at Gaydon.

[Chu Chu]

By the looks of it, Wellington's going to cause a few more ulcers.

[Dan Gerous]

Looks like Hoskins was a bit early on the "swords to ploughshares" there. Judging now, so we can have a new one for the weekend.

Runner up goes to,
NutLoose with, Now that's what I mean, see how we curved nicely off the left side of the runway, now if we were back in the UK we would have curved off the right side, it's different here, just like the direction of water going down the plug hole.

And the winner is
MPN11 with, Chute first and answer questions later.

Over to you MPN. The trophy will be dropped of by the recovery crew on their way back from Wellington.

[MPN11]

Thank you, Dan and ... oops, and there was me looking forward to a quiet weekend, with only my first dose of Vaccine tomorrow to think about!

Oh, well, 'something for the weekend, Sir/Madam?'


https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/612x486/gettyimages_102729672_612x612_fe40dbe6bf13173bad9a7e5dc79031 0539ff2c5d.jpg

[treadigraph]

And orfff she goes! I told her not to have a second helping of baked beans while wearing her Sidcot...

[Kiltrash]

These men are making a real pigs ear getting the Vulcan out the mud. Now us women could do that while breast feeding and doing the hoovering

[Kiltrash]

It's a bird, its a plane no its Hoskins sitting on a 10mt bomb

[Kiltrash]

Scientist proves that if you stand still, look to the sky and point all the people round you will also look up.

[Kiltrash]

As Covid restrictions are eased the Loose Women are allowed to meet up outside

[cavuman1]

This group of women were so air-headed that they had to wear parachutes on the ground to keep from falling up....

- Ed

[Kiltrash]

After a particularly boozy night out in Newcastle, The girls all signed up at the recruitment office to be balloon observers,
" Look over there its a Balloon. " cried Brenda

[treadigraph]

Despite a Norland Nanny, private tutor, Roedean and a Swiss Finishing School, Cassandra had never been taught that it's impolite to point...

[Kiltrash]

The auditions progress for the position of Penelope Pitstop. First thing they have to do is locate the pigeon

[Dan Gerous]

"Ooh, I reckon there's enough material in that Vulcan's chute, for a wedding dress each."
"Yes, and there's a lot of eligible men there as well."


https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/612x486/gettyimages_102729672_612x612_fe40dbe6bf13173bad9a7e5dc79031 0539ff2c5d.jpg

[Wensleydale]

"Look!! I think that I can see his joystick!!!"

[Buster Hyman]

The Admiral was disappointed that the Navy’s new diversity program got off to a bad start.

[NutLoose]

Boogie 12 o’clock high, and it’s freshly picked.

[NutLoose]

Well I’m taking the damned things back to stores, the elastics gone in the sussy’s

[Buster Hyman]

The Pussycat Squadron stand by ready to show the Flying Tigers a thing or two....

[Buster Hyman]

What’s that whistling noise?
Gertrude hasn’t done up her jump suit again.

[c52]

To a passer-by: "Excuse me, which way is it to the auditions for the Michelin Man?"

[NutLoose]

That’s not a Stuka, look it’s Betty freefalling.

[NutLoose]

Ok ladies, can you all smell fish?, I’ve pulled my finger out and I’m doing the COVID 19 smell test, if this fails we will move on to the taste testing.

[NutLoose]

Enemy aircraft or not, manners Betty, it’s rude to point.

[Ascend Charlie]

"Is that a CB?"
"No, it's a C&B, the fighter pilots are drawing rude things in the sky again!"

[Hydromet]

When Hoskins told the girls he'd give them the jump of their lives, this wasn't what he meant.

[NutLoose]

My... the jolly green giant, look at the size of his jolly green.......

[Buster Hyman]

"Look at that glass ceiling. Seems close enough to touch and yet..."
"OI! You lot. Wars over, get back in the Kitchen!"

[Wensleydale]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/601x800/poster_e647725d7775b69771b00c7e545553c535cb05ae.jpg
This isn't what the recruiting poster promised.

[Kiltrash]

Me Sir, said Betty when Captain Flasheart asked for a co pilot to wiggle his controls

[Kiltrash]

Biggles landed and after taxing in said ...." I can't have proposed to all of you in the bar last night...come fly with me, "

[treadigraph]

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/612x486/gettyimages_102729672_612x612_fe40dbe6bf13173bad9a7e5dc79031 0539ff2c5d.jpg

[treadigraph]

It's Lucinda - ooh look, her instructor's bailed out!

[Chu Chu]

Photographer: Now look at an aircraft at 500 feet.

Woman on right (thinking): QFE or QNH?

[Kiltrash]

Well before the war I was a staff nurse on a ' mens ' ward. Fingers never been the same since

[Kiltrash]

Woman on left still did not understand, form up by height.

[Kiltrash]

Boeing decide the MAX is safe to fly, however the Pilots still take their own parachutes.

[c52]

"Do these padded clothes really soften the impact when we hit the ground?"

[NutLoose]

Jeez, I’ve never seen a SWO so red or high, what was it he was shouting about the grass?

[NutLoose]

Ladies, don’t you think it’s a sign of desperation when we bring our own beer goggles along to the summer ball.

[NutLoose]

I wish they wouldn’t line these Sidcot suits with lambs fur, it’s like Velcro when taking it off.

[Kiltrash]

At Highbury the Arsenal Women's team all step up in unison and call for Offside..

[622]

Right gals, let’s kick the tyres, light the fires....and erm, check make up...arrange handbag.....find handkerchief....check make up again...final check of the hair...taxi out....let handbrake off....taxi out, and last one up’s a losing Lucy!

[Kiltrash]

While walking past the gate guard at Scampton Marham , Lucy found she had inadvertently bought the Victor at the auction.

[ivor toolbox]

Oh look its section officer Harvey , flashing again !

Ttfn

[Kiltrash]

The first all female Lancaster crew, forced to bale out over Germany, were surprised to find they were in Spain

[Hydromet]

When they ordered garter straps for the WRAFs, someone stuffed up on the metric conversion.

[Ascend Charlie]

(Mavis, on far right) "If I close my eyes, and tap my flying boots together, and say There's No Place Like Home, I should end up in Kansas..."

[cattletruck]

With the smoke machine on and Gertrude diligently following her instructor's tuition, her colleagues on the ground were most impressed with her long shaft manoeuvre with two tight orbits at the bottom.

[MPN11]

That was rather quieter than I had expected. Sorry about the uninspiring offering! I had been thinking along the lines of ... "Oh look, it's Hoskins, the famous 20-minuter. In my experience more mile a 5-minuter, but you can't win them all."

Anyway, to clear the air for next week's activity ...

Runner-Up
This group of women were so air-headed that they had to wear parachutes on the ground to keep from falling up..

Victor [or Vulcan?]
It's Lucinda - ooh look, her instructor's bailed out!

Over to you, Treadigraph.

[treadigraph]

Many thanks MPN11 - couldn't find the pic I had in mind, but this one caught my eye while I was searching...

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x400/1612102216_231b8ed189ab201b7274398ba20149f9c8878a9c.jpeg

[Kiltrash]

Carefull you don't shoot your own foot
That's OK I'm only firing blanks ...

[Kiltrash]

Are you sure this is the correct site for Eagle Claw??

[Kiltrash]

Radio cracked. ....Mission aborted. The Presidents not going to the Super bowl, it's way past his bed time.

[Chu Chu]

After Navy's victory last year, Army wasn't taking any chances.

[c52]

"Are you sure the Guinness Book of Records allows us to have our legs sticking out of the door like this?"

[c52]

The combination of our silver uniform and the helicopter's black means we can be clearly seen in all conditions apart from fog.

[c52]

"It's very simple. We kill anyone who's not 2m away from everyone else, unless - and this is important - we believe them to be members of the same household."

[c52]

"Are you sure that touch-and-go works when there are no wheels on the undercarriage?"

[622]

Security really was becoming an issue for the SAS...with crowds now turning up to watch missions.

[Kiltrash]

Please stop playing " Ride of the Valkyries " This is a clandestine mission

[Kiltrash]

Determined to stop joyriders the Police get serious

[Kiltrash]

Hank, says here in this brochure it can carry 500.

[Kiltrash]

See 500 foot below there's s group of girls pointing up at us.

[Kiltrash]

Commander cries out GET BACK IN...your not allowed to jump the two feet to the ground, you might get injured. Now remember when we land do not all rush to get off, wait for the steps.....

[Kiltrash]

Helicopter comes down and they shout down to the stadium employee with the container of beer walking round selling pints. and asks for 6 lite beers as they are on duty.....
Beer walker shouts back, sorry still need to see age I'D. .

Sorry I have no idea of the official job title of said beer seller.

[Chu Chu]

Army coach admits advance knowledge of opponents' play calling. His only explanation: A Little Bird told him.

[Dan Gerous]

A bit too much turkey at Christmas trooper!

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x400/1612102216_231b8ed189ab201b7274398ba20149f9c8878a9c.jpeg

[Dan Gerous]

Well that's at least 2 tail skids on this chopper.

[ShyTorque]

“If he says “running landing” one more time today, I’ll shoot the :mad:! “

[Kiltrash]

Pilot throws the chopper wildly round the sky before regaining control.
Geez man what was that? Missile tracking?
Nope
Wild up drafts of air?
Nope
Well what the **** was it?
Spider cam. ..

[Kiltrash]

Welcome to MCAS on 1089AM your Superbowl Commentary Station coming today from your local friendly eye in tbe sky...
OOPS sorry, Forgot this is my 2 weeks annual Territorial Army Training.

[Dan Gerous]

"It's boiling in here with all this gear on"!
"Is that why they call it "The Killer Egg"?

[Dan Gerous]

Now for the next part of your training, an ambush on a bend in the road. Welcome to Daytona.

[Buster Hyman]

Ooh. That waters cold.

[Buster Hyman]

So, how come the crowd is social distancing Sarge but we’re not?

[Buster Hyman]

That’s a nice little bird.
Hang on, I’ll go lower...

[Buster Hyman]

How would I know why? He just said, get to the chopper.

[cattletruck]

Hoskins had forgotten where he put the keys to the Blackhawk.

[Dan Gerous]

All together now, "Flintstones, meet the Flintstones, they're the modern stone-age family....."

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/800x400/1612102216_231b8ed189ab201b7274398ba20149f9c8878a9c.jpeg

[Dan Gerous]

A little trick I learnt from flying on civvie airlines, get the seat at the emergency exit, there's more leg room.

[Kiltrash]

Men on the other side...
" Hey Frank, see the colour of that top in row 19 seat 75. ? Think that would look good on the kitchen walls? "

[Kiltrash]

Sorry but someone had to say it. ..

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... the A-Team."

[Kiltrash]

" I ain't gettin on no plane "

[622]

Meanwhile, at Seaworld the performing SEALS begin their routine!

[NutLoose]

Just don't mention how small it is, he has a complex over it.

[NutLoose]

See, I told you there was a job out there for a pair of three legged siamese twins.

[NutLoose]

And be careful when you engage the enemy, last time I shot my right leg off.

[NutLoose]

So those marines went back in hanging on the outside of an Apache, who in their right mind would do that?

[c52]

The Indian Army treats helicopters the same way that Indian commuters treat trains.

[c52]

My mum always mollycoddled me. She said I had to get a job in a well-ventilated location - do you think I should send her this picture?

[c52]

For those who forgot to go to the toilet before flying, we have facilities on the right-hand side for two men at once, and on the left-hand side for two men at once.

[Kiltrash]

What's that beeping noise.?
That's not crude or offensive so why have you self cencored by bleeping out the noise?
No its going beep beep beep
Ah we're reversing?

[Kiltrash]

Tthhheeerrrsss aaaa llloootttt ooofff vviibbrrraattiioonnn.

Could be worse could be in a Chinook

[Kiltrash]

Man on right.
Oh go on you said I could have the multi weapon this time

[Kiltrash]

Ah Sybian, there's a lot of vibrations. Ah that gives me an idea for my wife, said Mr Summers

[NutLoose]

Ok. shoot any barstards you see not self isolating.....

Does that mean us too?

[NutLoose]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/598x400/1612102216_231b8ed189ab201b7274398ba20149f9c8878a9c_jpeg_e95 ea159b96069972411f159d70042865979211c.jpg

[NutLoose]

Budget cuts, they've sold the pylon mounted machine guns to the Mexie's, so we're now it.

[c52]

"Hey! Pilot! We're going to the theatre of war, not an amphitheatre."

[Chu Chu]

Fly-by requests are rarely approved, but this one had legs.

[cavuman1]

Gunner to his partner: "Check out the gonzabulators on those cheerleaders!" "I know! And that's not an M-16 I'm holding against your leg!"

- Ed

[NutLoose]

Hey, why did he call me Humpty and you Dumpty?

[Kiltrash]

Don't look now, but I think the rotors stopped.

[Kiltrash]

The Americans take drastic action to stop Usain Bolt winning their Championships.

[Kiltrash]

Hank, did you read that report that soldiers cannot fall out of helicopte....

[Big Pistons Forever]

Typical ! The Loggies organize a 4 person aircraft for a 6 person squad.... Grrrrrrr

[Big Pistons Forever]

Yah, Fat Fuc*Kers like us don’t get to sit inside.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Yah know, I think this is a bit over the top, all the boss wants is a Team Ball Cap

[Nuuumannn]

"The first incarnation of Low Cost Carrier Southwest was not initially popular among passengers..."

[Kiltrash]

I know you have the L@ser designator but why are you pointing it at your wife's ex's car?

[Kiltrash]

Could be worse, could be part of ex President Trumps security detail.

[Kiltrash]

Bloody 24/7 rolling news....not expected the Army building grandstands when we attack Osama's compound

[Wensleydale]

If you knew it was NBC's TV camera drone then why didn't you say so before we shot it down??!

[treadigraph]

I'll call this one around 8pm tonight...

[Kiltrash]

From the right hand side.
No sorry, please can you find a toilet...
Knew it was a mistake allowing women into front line Army units

[Beamr]

Hey Bloggs, pilot says we are too far aft with CofG, do you have any idea what he's about?
No, but once the pilot catches it I'll for sure shoot it down.

[c52]

"There must be a better way to ogle the lady athletes - such as buying a ticket on the front row."

[Buster Hyman]

Geezuzz Frank. No more curries before a mission!

[fdr]

Army Air Dev scoffed at the complaint of Blackhawks shrinking when wet, "it's fake news..." Mr Shipman said....

[Kiltrash]

The accident inquiry later determined the GofG was too far aft, The pilot had worn his wife's watch by mistake.

[Chu Chu]

ATC requests soles onboard. Pilot can't decide which to count.

[NutLoose]

This Presidential security details is gonna be fun, after the Queen jumped out with Bond at the Olympics, Trump has wanted to better it, so we convinced him he could do the same, but without a chute.. he bought into it and hopefully he just buys it.

[ivor toolbox]

Is this the Superbowl?

Ttfn

[MPN11]

PFC Godfrey ... “May I be excused for a minute?”

[c52]

After landing: "The last helicopter out of Saigon wasn't meant to be for GIs - you're all going back and we'll have a new last helicopter for civilians."

[cavuman1]

Pilot thinks to himself: "Hmmm. If the Amish made helicopters, would the machines have horse-drawn rotor blades? Instead of making a 'wop,wop,wop' sound, would they go 'clop,clop,clop' instead? Just then, the chopper autorotated onto the marching band's tuba player. A low-pitched Bwamp Bwamp Bwamp sound was heard throughout the stadium.

- Ed

[treadigraph]

OK, quick round up else me dinner will be overcooked:

In third place MPN11:

PFC Godfrey ... “May I be excused for a minute?”And in joint first and second place Kiltrash:

Are you sure this is the correct site for Eagle Claw??

and

The Americans take drastic action to stop Usain Bolt winning their Championships.

Well done, the CST is on its way in an OH-6, the mission being whatever the opposite of a hot extraction is...

[Kiltrash]

Many Thanks Mr Treadigraph, my wife is waiting with the Duraglit for the contactless delivery

So eyes down, what's being said here...

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1050x525/16782_c608dfc0078625a53a4dd0514d6e2819f2f2e624.jpg

[c52]

BJ: "'course I can do a press-up. I'll just get my virtual reality team onto it."

[c52]

BJ: "Yes, actually I'm carrying something really heavy in my left hand."

[c52]

BJ: "Always a pleasure to chat with you, Mr Yarwood."

[treadigraph]

I'm not keeping you up am I, Joe?

Hell no Boris, my right arm has a stunt stand in...

[treadigraph]

BJ: He wrote WHAT on the wall of the Presidential john?

[Dan Gerous]

JB, I'm doing a sponsored weight lift to raise funds for those disadvantaged by the covid pandemic.
BJ. I'm not cutting or combing my hair till it's over. That should keep a few hairdressers in business for a while.

[treadigraph]

Hey Joe, when you come over, I'll take you to see Man United v Arsenal...

I'd rather you didn't Boris, dropping off to sleep ain't a problem at all for me...

[Ascend Charlie]

"Joe, what I've got in my right hand is considerably smaller than what you've got, and my hand movements are much smaller too, but I'm the one with a smile on my face..."

[NutLoose]

They said if I call you Boris, expect a weight.

[NutLoose]

I don’t know why I’m doing this Boris, a five finger shuffle might be great, but if the other bit doesn’t respond it seems pointless.

[NutLoose]

Yes Mr President, I believe Donald used it to stretch his ties.

[NutLoose]

Good morning Mr President, you were lucky to catch me, I was on the throne birthing a Donald..

[c52]

BJ: "Psst - Mr Cabinet Secretary - I've got POTUS on the line - just remind me how to get the word 'bigly' into a sentence and tell me its Latin translation, or Greek will do."

[NutLoose]

So Boris, we have several of these available, we found them on the floor of the residence attached to the chains hanging from the mirrored bedroom ceiling.



..

[andytug]

"Hey Buddy, when I said 'Can you get your hands on Johnson for me?' I meant for my staff to ring you.......I didn't realise you were already on the line......"

[Wensleydale]

I'll bet you a contract for a new order of fighter jets that you can't say "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers".

[treadigraph]

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1050x525/16782_c608dfc0078625a53a4dd0514d6e2819f2f2e624.jpg

BJ: Yeah, compared to the Donald, beating Jezza was a cinch!

[NutLoose]

Boris, this video conferencing would be great if it wasn't for your webcam showing me nothing more than your nuts.

[NutLoose]

A tie? heck i can't even roll my sleeves up properly.

[Wensleydale]

Hello. My name is Joe and I'm calling about your recent payment for your subscription to Amazon Prime......

[treadigraph]

JB: My turn...(giggle) what am I doing now?

[treadigraph]

JB: No, you say it first!
BJ: No, you say it first!
JB: No, you say it!
BJ: OK. Bum!
Both: giggle giggle

[Buster Hyman]

Boris. “Ha! One thing is certain, and I can confidently and equivocally state that I, indeed, would have a much greater chance of doing curls than you Mr. President. My flowing, golden. British locks are the envy of Europe!”

[Buster Hyman]

This must be a bad line, but did you just call me a dumb bell end?

[Surplus]

I survived Covid, Joe, we got vaccinations, you got a Tie fighter....

or

"How Old?"

[Dan Gerous]

JB, your looking fit Boris, I'm doing weights, what's your fitness regime?
BJ, photoshop!

[treadigraph]

So Boris... you recently became a dad again. D'ya think I should do the same?

[cavuman1]

Pot is to Kettle as Bar Bell is to Dumb Bell.

- Ed

[NutLoose]

Hey is that you George? It's Bungle here...

No....... this is Joe, George was the 43rd President

[NutLoose]

It'll sort out all our pain in the asses, I'll swop you Florida for Northern Ireland, then as a Brit he can't run again, and my border issues will also be sorted.

[treadigraph]

So Joe, what are you going to do about Putin?

Putin? I'll send Trump to Moss-cow as US Ambassador...

[treadigraph]

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/1050x525/16782_c608dfc0078625a53a4dd0514d6e2819f2f2e624.jpg

JB: You got any good news?
BJ: The evenings are drawing out...

[treadigraph]

JB: Kiltrash is very quiet on this round...
BJ: He posted the picture!
JB: Oh yes, so he did...
BJ: Clot!

[Buster Hyman]

“Yes, Hello. I’d like to refinance my Lend Lease please...”

[NutLoose]

So now you are in a position to ditch Trumps awful paintscheme for Airforce One, have you perchance had the opportunity to look at my scheme.

[c52]

BJ: "Sure I can't interest you in a couple of A380s for Air Force One? Top quality aircraft from a leading manufacturer - oh, wait a mo, I'd forgotten Brexit, they're ****. Have you got any old 767s I could buy?"

[Buster Hyman]

BJ: "Ha, ha....good one Joe now, seriously, put Barak on the phone please..."

[NutLoose]

Yes I received your gift of the British self winding watch Boris, I’m winding it now...

[NutLoose]

Hi, is that the Oval of Tooting takeaway, I’d like two sweet and sour chicken, two Bombay duck, prawn crackers and two pancake rolls please and can you deliver?.

[MPN11]

BJ: “Dad, stop going on about that new coal mine in Cumbria!”
JB: “Don’t call me Dad ... and what coal mine?”
BJ: “Ah ... umm ... we seem to have a wrong number ... <click>“

[NutLoose]

Hmmm heavy breathing, either it’s a crank Pervy call or is that you Joe exercising?

[c52]

BJ: " Yeah, yeah, my sleeves are always rolled up so I can do some real hard work."

[Hydromet]

Yes, Mr President, I agree that it's important for us to do some exercise to relax. You lift weights, I play pocket billiards.

[Kiltrash]

Judging at 8 pm UK time ready for the weekend ...

[NutLoose]

Well if I was your White House physician, I would suggest taking a year off and going to play golf, it seemed to work for your predecessor.

[Wensleydale]

"Its a bit like my office. The red button launches the entirety of our nuclear attack forces towards all of the usual suspects, and the green button brings in the lady with the coffee.....or was it the other way round?"

[NutLoose]

Very few people have made their mark on that desk Joe, Kennedy, Regan, Monica Lewinsky

[NutLoose]

So anyway Joe, we have a sweepstake running and I have you down for pegging it in Dec 2020, old Reese Mogg doesn’t even think you will see the month out.

[Dan Gerous]

So anyway Joe, we have a sweepstake running and I have you down for pegging it in Dec 2020, old Reese Mogg doesn’t even think you will see the month out.

JB, you really are an idiot BoJo.

[Kiltrash]

The votes are in, counted and re counted, there are no postal ballots outstanding, so I Kiltrash as presiding officer herby declare the winner of the Cap Comp and the proud holder of the CST for the next few days is...Nutloose with

Hi, is that the Oval of Tooting takeaway, I’d like two sweet and sour chicken, two Bombay duck, prawn crackers and two pancake rolls please and can you deliver?.

... and the first reserve is Wensleydale with

Hello. My name is Joe and I'm calling about your recent payment for your subscription to Amazon Prime......

[NutLoose]

Wow, didn’t expect that, ok....open house to those that have had few wins, now is your chance to pop up a picture :)

[Buster Hyman]

Wow, didn’t expect that,
Wow. Neither did I! :}:ok:

[andytug]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/540x405/fb_img_1611863706114_5447cc668bf99ce2b26d05b0ba4eb0176de5809 2.jpg

How about this..........whatever it is!

[c52]

ACME - A Company That Makes Everything: At Your Service!

[treadigraph]

It's a JCBell 47...

[treadigraph]

Brains had designed and built Thunderbird Six for himself but as yet there had never been any conceivable purpose for it...

[NutLoose]

It’s a female helicopter, generally identified “as a Bitchin hoe”

[NutLoose]

Errr... when I said it needs tracking, one was referring to the blades..

[c52]

Inspired by aircraft skidding off the runway and leaving grooves in the grass, we are proud to offer a purpose-built solution for those who want aircraft to dig up the turf.

[c52]

We told our engineers to design a rotovator, and this was the result.

[Wensleydale]

In response to requests from North Sea operators, Bell improves the ditching capability of its latest helicopter.

[treadigraph]

𝄞 We plough the field and scatter the rotors round the land...♬

[treadigraph]

I told AC2 Heath-Robinson to dig a hole and shovel all the sh!t into it and he came up with this...

[Kiltrash]

Well gets me to the pub, whatever the weather

[Kiltrash]

In Greenland they used to lose the equipment in the snow. Tell you what let's paint it blue and gave the contract to Mr McGoo.

[Buster Hyman]

Does your Chopper have a name?
Yes, it's Doug.

[Kiltrash]

What the Mexicans designed to get through or over the wall. Now is a gate guard in El Passo

[Kiltrash]

Maybe a right dog, but does bury it's own sh!t

[Kiltrash]

Yes but at St Athan as the equipment reaches its end of life, it can tear itself down.

[Kiltrash]

My cousin bought a old RN Seaking and converted it into a Glamping Pod. I made something more useful.

[treadigraph]

It's the Robinson R666 - it digs its own grave...

[treadigraph]

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/540x405/fb_img_1611863706114_5447cc668bf99ce2b26d05b0ba4eb0176de5809 2.jpg

[treadigraph]

Schweizer have branched out into diggers - you should have seen what the late Dennis Kenyon could do with it!

[c52]

"We proudly present the first prototype of our Rotating Runway so aircraft can invariably take off and land exactly into the wind. Of course, we'll scale it up for fixed-wing aircraft."

[Chu Chu]

After the RSPCA finally made them take the rotor off the elephant, a new hole-digging solution was needed.

[Chu Chu]

I said I wanted skids, not a skid loader.

[Chu Chu]

Okay, says Hoskins. That's the last time I dig a hole and end up stuck at the bottom.

[Kiltrash]

Robby the Robot at the Nissan Plant was made redundant after the downturn in the car industry. Leaves home to seek his fortune as a hobo.

[Kiltrash]

Budgie the Helicopter looses his job as a search and rescue machine after a sad incident with the farm impliments. This was the resulting offspring

[cavuman1]

After their merger, the IPO of the Robinsopillar Corp was, like their product, a total disaster.

- Ed

[cavuman1]

World, meet Gyrowacky!

- Ed

[NutLoose]

The Irish Air Force unveil their new attack helicopter designed for trench warfare.

[cavuman1]

Its climb rate leaves something to be desired, but, by God, it can excavate its own landing zone....

- Ed

[c52]

For workmen who dig square holes that ought to be round, this handy digger can be used upside-down to verify the roundness of the hole.

(Thinking of Bernard Cribbins: 'Hole in the Ground' by Bernard Cribbins - YouTube )

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

It's not actually on a plinth. It lost tail rotor drive, and when it stopped spinning, that's just how it ended up.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Well it's a COVID thing, as a result of retraining out of work pilots. Everyone is happy. They get to wear their white shirts, epaulettes and feel important, and we get our holes dug.

[treadigraph]

The rotors weren't actually designed that short - it was all going swimmingly till he tried to lift the first bucket-load into the tipper truck....

[Kiltrash]

Screengrab of the new 'Little Nellie from the forth Cumming new Bond movie. ... well release has been delayed 15 years due toCovid19.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

A long lost "Thomas the Tank Engine" manuscript is discovered, featuring the love child of Harold and Oliver.

[Kiltrash]

When I said I wanted to see a Elephant Fly, this was not quite what I meant

[622]

I introduce the new Swiss Army Helicopter!

[Chu Chu]

With the chrysalis cut away, we can see development of the rotor well along even as the caterpillar tracks begin to wither.

[Kiltrash]

Having found the Lead Balloon Myth too simple to Bust, Adam and Jamie attempt to make a industrial machine fly, Instead of just blowing it up.

[Kiltrash]

Managing Director questions the Advertising Executive was that a suitable advert to put on the roundabout by the Head Office to show our wares. Adman responded with everyone knows about the Concrete Elephant on the A30....

[Big Pistons Forever]

I am sorry Mr Bloggins while you have 8000 hrs of PIC you lack the minimum 2 years of digger experience. Please re-apply for this position when you meet the minimum requirements

[treadigraph]

This helicopter is so ugly that not even the earth is able to repel it sufficiently to fly - so it had to dig its way into flight...

[Dan Gerous]

GAF introduce it's new Helicopter for the Australian Army, "The Digger".

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/540x405/fb_img_1611863706114_5447cc668bf99ce2b26d05b0ba4eb0176de5809 2.jpg

[Dan Gerous]

With the military now using autonomous droids in the infantry role, the Royal Engineers have adapted the basic Dalek chasis for the combat engineering role. "EXCAVATE"!!!

[Kiltrash]

The undertakers invest in Covid-19 secure grave digging machine. The spinning rotors ensure a 2 meter exclusion zone.

[Wensleydale]

From Archaeopteryx to Archaeology.

[Chu Chu]

Convinced he'll be blown sky high by a gas main, Hoskins adds an autorotation device.

[Wensleydale]

The Treasury stated that the new helicopter would be a drain on resources.

[c52]

For anyone who is interested in aircraft with unusual undercarriages.

[Ascend Charlie]

OK, we've got a new blade fitted and tracked, and we put hydraulics on it too. Let's call it the R-Soul.

[Kiltrash]

" The Flying Gardener " ditches the hot air balloon as a means of travel for something more useful and practical.

[Kiltrash]

Having parked on a red route in London, The parking authorities were flummoxed where to put the clamp.

[Kiltrash]

Early design for the Replacement Coffman Starter Trophy was not received with positive comments.

[Dan Gerous]

The new improved Borisforce One. Now it can dig its own ditches.

[Chu Chu]

To simplify determination of his height above ground level, Hoskins installed one just below the nose.

[Chu Chu]

Even ditch diggers have helicopter parents these days.

[NutLoose]

Sarah Ferguson’s Budgie the Helicopter sets out to dig the dirt on Prince Andrew.

[treadigraph]

Bloggs, you haven't quite got the hang of designing Transformer toys have you?

[Kiltrash]

Having been pulled over by the cops for breaking the speed limit, Hoskins asked the officer to put it down as clocked at 45 mph. As he was trying to sell it.

[Kiltrash]

Meccano and Airfix get together to design next Christmas must have toy

[Kiltrash]

In StalagLuft 13 the prisoners look to speed up the digging of the escape tunnel, before the Russians liberate them. Guards think they are looking to get away over the wire.

[treadigraph]

In StalagLuft 13 the prisoners look to speed up the digging of the escape tunnel, before the Russians liberate them. Guards think they are looking to get away over the wire.

The Colditz Cock and Great Escape teams pool their engineering skills and resources...

[treadigraph]

Sarah Ferguson’s Budgie the Helicopter sets out to dig the dirt on Prince Andrew.

Would that be Massey Ferguson?

[Kiltrash]

Charlie Dimmock is accused of going overboard with the water feature in Mr Bristows garden