Caption Competition Mk II

[Hydromet]

A short comp is a good one, so I'll give it one more day then draw a ticket out of the hat.

[NutLoose]

How comes I always get roped in to spin dry your undies.

[622]

Fritz and Hans hated Thursdays....that was the day the CO trained his greyhound!

[Surplus]

I thought that the Maginot Line would be bigger than this.

[Dan Gerous]

Nein! I am ze senior rank, and you vill be Daisy!

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/962x657/image_28711cf8a483319101343603d578e8667e53f85e.jpeg

[Dan Gerous]

Any word from stores about when the seats will arrive?

[Chu Chu]

Why aren't you on your horses riding at the enemy guns?

Well, we would be, but we were just ordered to charge the battery.

[622]

The new device was good but cumbersome....as you had to use both 'Hans' to operate it!

[NutLoose]

Jethro Tull knew he was onto a winner when he saw the Germans attempt at a seed drill.

[NutLoose]

Germany tests the new cycle simulator with instructors post..

[Kiltrash]

If only Herr Dyson could invent the Cyclone motor faster

[Kiltrash]

Wow this electric assist bike makes the hills seem flat

[Kiltrash]

In the World War having shot to eat all the horses, Speer had to invent substitute power to feed the nation

[Frostchamber]

Figgis reflected sadly that this was no longer the RAF Regiment he'd joined

[Kiltrash]

In a long forgotten novel, Tonto and the Lone Ranger ride the white man's iron horse.

[c52]

To be observed when installing an electric fence:

1) Don't let the animals walk round the end of the fence.
2) Don't let the electric part of the fence touch the ground.

[Kiltrash]

William and Kate return from the tour of the UK on the Royal Tandem. Knew it was a mistake to take the train through Liverpool*.
*other cities with a high crime rate are available.

[Kiltrash]

In a attempt to stop the wheel c*ck up from happening again, Mercedes design a Formula 1 car that does not need tyres

[Kiltrash]

Early design for the "Peloton " bike now all we need is that nice John Logie Baird to invent the Television.

[Hydromet]

Time to call it. Some excellent entries there, and hard to separate them. Worthy runners up were...
Kiltrash, with "Recharge the Generals mobile phone they said...."
Treadigraph, with "Van der Graaf Generator - the early years..."
For Nutty, a special punster award (because I like puns), "The troops arrive at the Raleigh point."
and Dan Gerous, with an eye-watering "Any word from stores about when the seats will arrive?"

But, proving that it pays to get in early, the yellow jersey and CST goes to Ascend Charlie, with "They will pedal harder when the burning fuse gets closer to them..."

The CST is on its way to you by unicycle, Ascend Charlie. Take it away.

[NutLoose]

He must be riding that bike to bring on the next picture... :E

[Ascend Charlie]

That CST still hasn't arrived, must be Xmas delays or sumfing.

Open house to whoever has a photo ready.........

[Kiltrash]

If I may offer up for your consideration

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1333/merlin_76912570_2517eb0d_757e_44ad_a109_2237c997726d_superju mbo_36104c040d434af95be0b5d3ab4762760368c5f3.jpg

[Hydromet]

The once and future king.

[NutLoose]

Joe show Trump some paper that’s actually got something on it.

[NutLoose]

Well, we’ve had white presidents, black presidents, and nearly a female president, it was only a matter of time until we elected the village idiot as president Joe.


.

[Dan Gerous]

The sour faced git even took the peanuts from the bowl when he left!

[NutLoose]

Well according to these tax returns he hasn’t paid squat.

[ShyTorque]

“Just Biden my time...”

[NutLoose]

So we paid all this to redecorate the Oval Office and I can still see the bloody join in the wallpaper.

[NutLoose]

But that’s the rules of musical chairs Donald, when the music stops you have to sit down, if you can’t you have to leave, there is no point in suing us.

[NutLoose]

Despite supermariation, Gerry Anderson still was unable to hide every string on his puppets.

[NutLoose]

I agree, the Mar A Lago immigration centre has a nice ring to it, requisition it.

[Ascend Charlie]

"We left Xmas cake and a glass of beer out for Santa, but The Grinch took it and ran off to tweet something.."

[Buster Hyman]

Joe. Look up Petulant & tell me what you see?

[Buster Hyman]

"So, you're saying that these documents you're serving us with are from Donald Trump in 2020, and we're being sued because he loses an election in four years time?"
"Damnit Joe, I told you we should've kept Chavez around as a Scapegoat!"

[622]

Joe Biden was shocked to see that not only was Trump refusing to leave the building....but Obama was still there to!

[treadigraph]

Dammit, four years on and Hillary still thinks she should be President...

[NutLoose]

Ahh it's Hilary on TV.... That reminds me, where's that intern we both like Joe..

[NutLoose]

Ahh the Senate, you know Joe, some days i think Caligula had the right ideas.

[Kiltrash]

Not as popular as I had hoped so put it out its misery 20.00 UK tonight so we can get
" somethingfor the weekend " sir
last orders please ..

[NutLoose]

Peeps need to think out of the box.. :(

[NutLoose]

So this is your CV, a pathological liar, built an empire on other peoples money which you've avoided paying back, lied and cheated your way to that position, a self made man thanks to erm.. Daddy... ahem... giving you millions..
Cheated on your wife on numerous occasions and would like to sleep with your biological daughter like some Redneck.
Avoided Vietnam with dubious heel spurs but would like to run the military, cheated both the taxman and the public on numerous occasions.
Believed in Democracy to get you elected but now say its a fraud...
Who in their right minds would vote you into the position?

[622]

OK Donald...lets put this in a way you will understand..

..Trump, you're fired!

[Dan Gerous]

"I'm sacking the cleaner Obbie. That cheese puff has been under the desk for 2 days".
"Don't do that Joe. I dropped that on my way out 4 years ago".

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1333/merlin_76912570_2517eb0d_757e_44ad_a109_2237c997726d_superju mbo_36104c040d434af95be0b5d3ab4762760368c5f3.jpg

[treadigraph]

Ok, we need some good news to cheer the Nation up. Anybody? Come on... there must be something...

[NutLoose]

Jeez, look at that on the TV, Trump has a gold throne in the Sh*tter of his Trump Tower apartment... I hate to think what your going to find when you move in Joe, probably a mirrored ceiling in the bedroom and handcufffs on the bedposts.

[Buster Hyman]

"..........Well, I've got nuthin'. Joe?"
"No....nothing."
"Damn....this CapCom round is a tough one!"

[Wensleydale]

Obama ponders his legacy. First Trump and now...........

[NutLoose]

You know Joe, for people that do not believe in the Covid threat and wearing masks, they're dropping like flies.

[NutLoose]

You know Joe, when he has gone, and opens the President Trump Library, as we all do, I bet it will be a Marvel... and a Beano and Dandy...

[Wensleydale]

...and if you resurrect "Obama Care" then you can make America Grate Again.

[treadigraph]

I love Hawaii 5-0, don't you? Second best after The Flintstones of course...

[Kiltrash]

Standing bye, results to come.

Mine would have been

Biden
Ghezz have you seen what Trump did with the Oval Office? I mean yellow wallpaper and brown chairs. Must have been on a real ego trip ..eurgh. .
Obama
Actually he did not re decorate, this was how Michele revamped, thought it complimented a younger fitter President...

[MPN11]

“The waiting is the worst part ... someone get us a couple of beers, please ...”

[Kiltrash]

Many thanks everyone and to get the show back on the road the Runner up goes to Dan with

"I'm sacking the cleaner Obbie. That cheese puff has been under the desk for 2 days".
"Don't do that Joe. I dropped that on my way out 4 years ago".



And the latest winner is... roll of drums...Nutloose with

So we paid all this to redecorate the Oval Office and I can still see the bloody join in the wallpaper.

Trophy with you in time fur Christmas.... 2021

[Hydromet]

Congratulations Nutty, but I heard that Buster has taken this decision to the Supreme Court.

[NutLoose]

https://cimg5.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1309/22459437_10214061894450759_8832607988873973916_o_6598e4eee60 3f3fcebeaac870fbaba1ad5c8b701.jpg

[NutLoose]

Texas says I won...:p

Ok sorry for the delay worked late tonight, try this one above from

https://rafphotographersmemorial.co.uk/people/#jp-carousel-1509

[c52]

"Been dropping men into the sea off Studland, have we?"

-----

"Low flying over Studland is limited to Transport Command. Who was the navigator on this flight?"

[artee]

No, it's not my wife, but you're right, she does have a nice pair

[Buster Hyman]

Nutty's crack team of Captioneers pour over the latest pic.

[Buster Hyman]

I say! It's damn near impossible to estimate the Jags speed with this framerate. Tell him to go slower next time.

[Hydromet]

I'm sorry Flight Sergeant, you'll never be invited to dinner by Mrs. Bloggs if you can't keep your elbows off the table.

[Ascend Charlie]

Looking at blue movies before the internet...

[Kiltrash]

Why does the General want us to bomb it, so small and inoffensive

[Kiltrash]

Meanwhile in Boots a strip of Section Officer Harvey, stripping, is found in Busters holiday collection from Ibiza. The Police are looking into it

[Kiltrash]

The X rays of Cruise's latest injuries cause merriment in the production office.
" Did not know you could break THAT bone "

[Kiltrash]

Keep looking, the PM says there must be a #Brexit deal here, somewhere.

[Kiltrash]

Nutty says he was working late last night, however these pictures prove otherwise, better send them to the divorce lawyer

[Kiltrash]

Better call the CIA, looks like it was just a smudge on the negative after all

[Kiltrash]

That proves it, the trawler is 15 foot inside our territorial waters, better call out the fleet.
Why are they all laughing at Northwood?

[Wensleydale]

The latest 5G transcripts from the Covid vaccine are studied at Porton Down.

[cattletruck]

When you send a Jag on a low level recon over the beach you end up with the same girl in every picture.

[Ascend Charlie]

"Doesn't matter how closely we look at it, Trump still lost!"

[treadigraph]

Here's another one - Ah ha! Looks like Burley was also flouting Tier 2 restrictions in the Pig and Whistle on the 4th with Maitless and Marr...

[treadigraph]

Here you go Sarge - I've found the frame that shows the instant Barbara's bra flies off...

[Kiltrash]

So that's what a Covid-19 virus looks like

[Kiltrash]

Honey I shrunk the Air Force

[Kiltrash]

Wow, that's Fantastic. Look what happened to Miss Welch

[Kiltrash]

MRI scan finds Donald's brain

[Kiltrash]

Yes, another Monolith, that makes 14 init.

[Kiltrash]

Hey Doc, there's the frame your toupee fell off into Raguel's groinal area. Del Boy was not amused

[NutLoose]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1309/image_4c3ad1db03f932c6b281d6936b6fbaa4ee9da92a.jpeg

[Kiltrash]

Think we have found Dominic Cummins, been missing since he walked out of 10 Downing Street with that Cardboard Box
He is living in the box in Hampton Court Maze

[Kiltrash]

OK Bombaimer and Navigator. We have persuaded the Red Airforce to paint a 59 foot X on the target building, at the end of the Derwent Reservoir. Just off the A59 in Yorkshire 23 miles NNW from Leeds
Think you can find it THIS time?

(directions may not be exactly correct, )

[Kiltrash]

Here Sarge, is that your brothers car outside your house while you are on a 2 week war games lockdown, been there the last 8 nights.

[Kiltrash]

This Geo Cache lark is a lot simpler from a comfortable warm underground bunker

[treadigraph]

You're right, Google Earth imagery is MUCH better than our very expensive spy satellite's snaps...

[Kiltrash]

Here Sarge, you know you paid £8000 for that hair scalp treatment? Well have you thought of asking for a refund?

[ShyTorque]

“Got any dirty pictures of your wife, Sir?”

“Certainly not!”

”Wanna buy some?”

[Kiltrash]

Despite the warning signs on the office wall. CARELESS TALK was not specifically banned.
After the investigation into the loss of the Queen Elizabeth Carrier, the Government apologised and promised " Lessons would be learned"

[c52]

Don't think any of these are going to win the Royal Air Force Photographic Competition

[ Royal Air Force photographic competition results – in pictures - PPRuNe Forums (https://www.pprune.org/military-aviation/637385-royal-air-force-photographic-competition-results-pictures.html) ]

[Wensleydale]

Despite using the latest technology, there is still no sign of a Labour Party policy on anything!

[Kiltrash]

Yes, it IS a long way to Tipperary it's a long way to go
Better take some piddle packs lads

[Kiltrash]

Having run in with the pictures he took on the photographic flight the Navigator was surprised to find his Pilot had landed at the enemy airfield.

[Kiltrash]

Chap squinting down the spy glass

Yes there are more sheep on the Falklands than islanders. I know I counted th ..... ( snore)

[Chu Chu]

Next time, let's just blow these up on the monitor, rather than printing them on tiny pieces of plastic and looking through a magnifying class.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Yes son those pictures were taken when we still had an Air Force.......

[Big Pistons Forever]

No you idgit ! You can’t make them bigger by pinching your fingers on the picture you have to look through the magnifying glass !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Yah these pictures are for the Army, why do you ask ?

Well all they show is the shop fronts for strip bars and massage parlours.

[Kiltrash]

Right now you have mastered squinting through a small optical device and working out what is really going on you can qualify as a Gynecologist

[Kiltrash]

Hey Sarge, have a look at this, think it's a goat standing in a cloud.

[Kiltrash]

Clot, he has taken 4000 pictures of himself
or
his thumb

[Kiltrash]

Man really leaning down mumbles..

Anyone seen me pen?

[Kiltrash]

What really goes on in Studley Park
No, call the ref back, it's Deffo in the box

[Chu Chu]

Why are all the people in the pictures staring at the sky behind the aircraft?

To make up for this year's budget cuts, we're towing advertising banners on reconnaissance flights.

[Chu Chu]

Well, either Kim's having more trouble than usual with his electricity supply, or Hoskins forgot the lens cap again.

[Kiltrash]

Why are all the airfields in Eastern Europe, China and North Korea pixelated out??

[Kiltrash]

The mood soon changed when it was discovered during the extended Bank Holiday weekend break, The Russians had moved 17 divisions and 3000 aircraft across the Iron Curtain

[Kiltrash]

Having passed 'Basic Aircraft Recognition 1.0' Hoskins was allowed his first shift in charge.
'Yes that's a Shackleton he proudly declared.

[ivor toolbox]

Did you take these from your Jaguar Sir?

Why yes, Flight Sergeant, how did you know?

Try from an aeroplane next time Sir, there's a good chap.

Ttfn

[Kiltrash]

Yes Stanley, your stamp collection is worthless no matter what your dad said on his deathbed.

i'll just take one if I may for my collection.?
.
Yes of course dear chap, he would be pleased to know it was to a good cause,

ok may I have this one? A British Guiana 1856 1¢ Magenta if i may

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

So how this works is, I draw in the WMD with my biro like this, I give it to Nobby here on my right who "discovers" it, and we pass it to Sarge who "confirms" it, then it goes up the line all the way to No 10. Worked a treat in the last show.

[Kiltrash]

Nobby bending down. Knew it was a mistake chewing a ink cartridge. Would you mind re flying the reconnaissance flight?
No of course not, more hours in my log book

[Dan Gerous]

Guess who snuck into the cinema last night and cut all the special effects shots out from the Dambusters movie.

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/2000x1309/image_4c3ad1db03f932c6b281d6936b6fbaa4ee9da92a.jpeg

[622]

Back in the day, the RAF took the spot the ball competition very seriously!

[Boeing Jet]

That's where that McDonalds is!!!

[c52]

The head of airside security will never guess what we do with the body images of the passengers.

[Kiltrash]

Hey Bert, here have a look, ...
" What the Butler Saw "

[Kiltrash]

Prince Andrews private snaps find their way to the News of the World picture editors.
" Hold the Front Page " was the cry

[Kiltrash]

If we tell the FBI we have photographs of Andrew, Ghislaine and Epstein, think they will let us have Sacoollas?

[cavuman1]

Having finally found Waldo, the photo-intel crew erupts with laughter.

- Ed

[Ascend Charlie]

"Here it is! A shot of the first Republican to say "Trump lost!""

[Kiltrash]

The " Usual Suspects " start to pour over their picture collection in the vein hope of being selected as the next winner of the Coffman Starter Trophy.

[Kiltrash]

The Picture Editors of the " 1001 Camp Comp best picture " book attempt agreement of the slides to be included
However due to disagreement miss the cut off for Christmas 2020. Ah well start the 2021 edition.

[Kiltrash]

Jones minor veinly searches his slides from a weeks camping out at the Mach Loop for ANY aircraft passing through.

[Kiltrash]

" I counted them all out "
" and I counted them all back "
looks like Santa had a engine failure
during the refuelling exercise .

[Chu Chu]

The team rejoices over finding a snail in the frame. Otherwise, examining a series shot by a Jaguar in a headwind would be really boring.

[NutLoose]

Ok
I'm going to call this one... the results are

THE WINNER

622 with

Back in the day, the RAF took the spot the ball competition very seriously!

And in order the runners up

Kiltrash with an educational...yes I looked it up!

Yes Stanley, your stamp collection is worthless no matter what your dad said on his deathbed.

i'll just take one if I may for my collection.?
.
Yes of course dear chap, he would be pleased to know it was to a good cause,

ok may I have this one? A British Guiana 1856 1¢ Magenta if i may

And also with

The mood soon changed when it was discovered during the extended Bank Holiday weekend break, The Russians had moved 17 divisions and 3000 aircraft across the Iron Curtain

Ascend Charlie with

"Here it is! A shot of the first Republican to say "Trump lost!""

Well done all, trophy with Santa.......... Over to 622 :)

[Kiltrash]

For those of you who can't be bothered to look it up the stamp in question last sold for $9.4m

Ps closet stamp collector here but to people that know me I deny all knowledge.

[622]

Many thanks, let’s keep it seasonal with this offering:

https://c7.alamy.com/comp/3/7715de954abd461790daf6d8bc92bc72/c9gejp.jpg (https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-santa-claus-marches-along-with-marines-from-2nd-battalion-3rd-marine-40315374.html?pv=1&stamp=2&imageid=7715DE95-4ABD-4617-90DA-F6D8BC92BC72&p=142395&n=0&orientation=0&pn=1&searchtype=0&IsFromSearch=1&srch=foo%3dbar%26st%3d0%26pn%3d1%26ps%3d100%26sortby%3d2%26r esultview%3dsortbyPopular%26npgs%3d0%26qt%3dsanta%2520claus% 2520christmas%2520military%26qt_raw%3dsanta%2520claus%2520ch ristmas%2520military%26lic%3d3%26mr%3d0%26pr%3d0%26ot%3d0%26 creative%3d%26ag%3d0%26hc%3d0%26pc%3d%26blackwhite%3d%26cuto ut%3d%26tbar%3d1%26et%3d0x000000000000000000000%26vp%3d0%26l oc%3d0%26imgt%3d0%26dtfr%3d%26dtto%3d%26size%3d0xFF%26archiv e%3d1%26groupid%3d%26pseudoid%3d%26a%3d%26cdid%3d%26cdsrt%3d %26name%3d%26qn%3d%26apalib%3d%26apalic%3d%26lightbox%3d%26g name%3d%26gtype%3d%26xstx%3d0%26simid%3d%26saveQry%3d%26edit orial%3d1%26nu%3d%26t%3d%26edoptin%3d%26customgeoip%3d%26cap %3d1%26cbstore%3d1%26vd%3d0%26lb%3d%26fi%3d2%26edrf%3d%26isp remium%3d1%26flip%3d0%26pl%3d)

[treadigraph]

Corporal Jones always stood out in his platoon...

[Kiltrash]

Any sniper, and his Dog, would not believe their eyes

[Kiltrash]

During the attack to capture the command post exercise, the blue team had Superman as their referee

[Kiltrash]

Due to attacks on the Vaccine couriers, the security was beefed up

[Kiltrash]

Hide in plain sight was the instructions

[Kiltrash]

After shoot down in late December, , the Pilot was marched to Headquarters for interrogation

[Kiltrash]

Nan knitted it for me, didn't have the heart to leave it behind. Then my kit bag was stolen on the train back from Christmas leave.

[treadigraph]

He says he crashed after running into the back of a Jaguar, Sir!

[Dan Gerous]

More Hi-Viz, we need more Hi-Viz!

[Kiltrash]

Having been made redundant and finding himself homeless in December, Donald said he would try anything...

[Hydromet]

While Santa had ermine trim on his hat, cuffs & boots, Private Longshanks behind him was so limp-wristed that everyone thought there was a touch of velvet about him.

[Ascend Charlie]

After the disaster of the air-to-sleigh refuel which put all the reindeer in the vet clinic, Santa put a red hat on the front man and called him Rudolph.

[treadigraph]

Sir, the good news is that our new anti aircraft missile works perfectly. The bad news is... well sir... your wife's Christmas present...

[Chu Chu]

Urban combat training: chimney infiltrations.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Sadly ever since Santa admitted to voting for Joe Biden he has required a protective detail after a wave of death threats.

[Big Pistons Forever]

OH NO ! if the Army is now responsible for getting Santa to all the good kids homes, Christmas is doomed !

[Big Pistons Forever]

Pretty sad when Santa can march better than 3/4 of the platoon...

[Kiltrash]

​​​​https://c7.alamy.com/comp/3/7715de954abd461790daf6d8bc92bc72/c9gejp.jpg (https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-santa-claus-marches-along-with-marines-from-2nd-battalion-3rd-marine-40315374.html?pv=1&stamp=2&imageid=7715DE95-4ABD-4617-90DA-F6D8BC92BC72&p=142395&n=0&orientation=0&pn=1&searchtype=0&IsFromSearch=1&srch=foo%3dbar%26st%3d0%26pn%3d1%26ps%3d100%26sortby%3d2%26r esultview%3dsortbyPopular%26npgs%3d0%26qt%3dsanta%2520claus% 2520christmas%2520military%26qt_raw%3dsanta%2520claus%2520ch ristmas%2520military%26lic%3d3%26mr%3d0%26pr%3d0%26ot%3d0%26 creative%3d%26ag%3d0%26hc%3d0%26pc%3d%26blackwhite%3d%26cuto ut%3d%26tbar%3d1%26et%3d0x000000000000000000000%26vp%3d0%26l oc%3d0%26imgt%3d0%26dtfr%3d%26dtto%3d%26size%3d0xFF%26archiv e%3d1%26groupid%3d%26pseudoid%3d%26a%3d%26cdid%3d%26cdsrt%3d %26name%3d%26qn%3d%26apalib%3d%26apalic%3d%26lightbox%3d%26g name%3d%26gtype%3d%26xstx%3d0%26simid%3d%26saveQry%3d%26edit orial%3d1%26nu%3d%26t%3d%26edoptin%3d%26customgeoip%3d%26cap %3d1%26cbstore%3d1%26vd%3d0%26lb%3d%26fi%3d2%26edrf%3d%26isp remium%3d1%26flip%3d0%26pl%3d)Wanna quiet word with that Alamy chap broadcasting my Internet password. He's on the naughty step.

[Kiltrash]

Appears only Santa is taking Covid seriously with masks

[Kiltrash]

E Easy company proudly march the captured General back to Headquarters. Should all have gone to Specsavers. ....

[Ascend Charlie]

Having been demoted from the A Team, Sgt Claus is thankful he wasn't put into F Troop.

[treadigraph]

Tall bloke in the middle: "Oooh, get you!"

[andytug]

Government orders the Army to revert to its 18th Century uniform colours post-Brexit, however due to supply delays at Folkestone they have to make do with whatever is available....

[MPN11]

Hoskins was required to carry a rile and the flag on a stick after failing his "At Home" etiquette exam.

[Buster Hyman]

Blitzenkrieg!

[cattletruck]

The brief to recruitment was to find a leader who was well liked an full of presence.

[Buster Hyman]

Biden sends in the Army to the Red states to convince them he won. Realises the need to send someone they'll believe...

[Kiltrash]

After a particularly virulent attack on Boris, Donald, Putin, Andrew and Harry. Piers seek security from his brother. ( who is a Major in the Army ). However finds his Bro sends the 1st year cadets due to a ongoing family feud.

[Kiltrash]

Dont worry kiddies that's not the real Santa, she's busy checking her list to see whose been naughty or nice.

[Dan Gerous]

Santa and the Elf Recon troop RTB, after doing this years naughty list.

[Kiltrash]

The Covid Marshalls are seen to obey current regulations. You can meet up with seven and one in fancy dress only if there is 28 days in the month ... or more

[Kiltrash]

Santa and the elves get in early practice for the 2021 London Marathon.

[Kiltrash]

The Trooper with the stick only later found out it was in fact stuck in a lump of concrete

( well that's what it looked to me....SPECSAVERS )

[c52]

No worries about him - remember that scene where the Vicar of Dibley falls into a 5' deep puddle?

[Kiltrash]

After yet another Pi$$ Poor Performance by the Arsenal, ( loosing 0-1 at home to Southampton ) the players are escorted one at a time to their cars by the Woolwich Cadets.

[NutLoose]

Look on the bright side, it won’t show the blood up if you get shot.

[NutLoose]

We found him impersonating a red coat.

[NutLoose]

Second man at the back, I wish you stop trying to shag my leg.

[NutLoose]

Look here Rudolf, it was either I punch you in the nose and give you a red one, or you wear the hat band.

[NutLoose]

Im sure the boss said raid over the border into Mexico and bring back Santana, not this guy.

[Chu Chu]

Fourth from the right -- I get the whole shorter Christmas thing, but would it really have hurt anything if I'd been Santa again this year?

[Big Pistons Forever]

What's with Joe ?

Oh, He thinks the DSC means the Distinguished Santa Cross, and he wants one.

[NutLoose]

Look Santa, we will release you when you agree Trump is on the naughty step and you agree not to deliver the confiscated golf hole flags to him.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Hey Bloggs, what's with the Santa suit ?

It's my new camo.

What the Fu*ck ?

Well I am going on the theory that the snipers will shoot you before they shoot Santa....

[NutLoose]

Damned Commie, better red than dead huh!

[Boeing Jet]

We will find your sleigh Santa, as long as we can have a barrel of booze!!!

[treadigraph]

Snowy White and the Seven No Longer Vertically Challenged Squaddies volunteer for panto duties...

[Chu Chu]

In a few months, someone might be saying "I haven't won CapCom since Santa was a gunny sergeant."

[Kiltrash]

We found him hiding out at the North Pole
North Pole? Where's the snow?
Global warming...
Brought the Pole back as evidence.

[Kiltrash]

After a outburst on set, Tom Cruise goes off in the huff. See you after Christmas, got my other job to do.

[Wensleydale]

Look what NORAD finally managed to shoot down after many years of trying.

[Ascend Charlie]

"The Sergeant is from 'Elf'n'Safety, but does he have to wear that suit and go Ho Ho Ho all the bluddy time.??"

[Kiltrash]

In Aldershot Echo company give Hoskins a Escort to his grotto in the shopping centre.

[Kiltrash]

General to Captain off camera....
I understand camouflage to blend in with the woods but carrying a flag and hi viz strips on the back packs?
Captain thinks....silly old fool does not see anything wrong with Santa being there. ...

[Kiltrash]

Having had one too many Mulled Wine on Christmas Eve night, Santa needed a Escort back from the Police Station when he was released from the Drunk Tank.

[ShyTorque]

“No you idiots, for your field exercise I said get yourselves over to STANTA!”

[NutLoose]

Ok and our next delivery is to a Peruvian drug lord..


https://nypost.com/2020/12/16/peruvian-cops-dress-up-as-santa-claus-elf-for-drug-raid/

[622]

Things starting to slow down, so will call this around mid day tomorrow!
.....last orders!!!

[Chu Chu]

Much to the platoon leader's chagrin, the sergeant's enlistment contract contained a Santa clause.

[Kiltrash]

We found him in the Old Holly Roger, Crying into his Sam Smiths sobbing as last orders was called about Tier 3 from tonight.
" I tell you Christmas is cancelled boo hoo.. ."

[Kiltrash]

As the troop returned from having the Covid -19 jab from the MO, they noticed Hoskins was having a severe reaction

[NutLoose]

How the hell was I to know the station had a centralised heating plant and only one chimney.

[NutLoose]

It’s Snow White and the bloody seven dwarfs, can’t you get anything right Hoskins.

[NutLoose]

Are you sure we should be handing out E’s in the grotto?

[NutLoose]

And remember Santa, when you meet Hoskins, there is no need to sprinkle fairy dust over him, someone’s already beat you to it in that respect.

[NutLoose]

The Colonel isn’t impressed Santa, have you ever seen someone who’s been covered in liquid reindeer sh*t from 7000 feet.

[Kiltrash]

Bloody Army, yomp ing here, yomp ing there, bloody yomp ing everywhere.
Should have joined the Air Force

[Kiltrash]

In Aberdeen the Army providing protection on Trumps golf course. Mr President to make it easier for you we can move the hole closer to you.

[Dan Gerous]

"Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum"
"Wait a minute, you're not Santa. Are you Sharky Ward"?


​​​​https://c7.alamy.com/comp/3/7715de954abd461790daf6d8bc92bc72/c9gejp.jpg (https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-santa-claus-marches-along-with-marines-from-2nd-battalion-3rd-marine-40315374.html?pv=1&stamp=2&imageid=7715DE95-4ABD-4617-90DA-F6D8BC92BC72&p=142395&n=0&orientation=0&pn=1&searchtype=0&IsFromSearch=1&srch=foo%3dbar%26st%3d0%26pn%3d1%26ps%3d100%26sortby%3d2%26r esultview%3dsortbyPopular%26npgs%3d0%26qt%3dsanta%2520claus% 2520christmas%2520military%26qt_raw%3dsanta%2520claus%2520ch ristmas%2520military%26lic%3d3%26mr%3d0%26pr%3d0%26ot%3d0%26 creative%3d%26ag%3d0%26hc%3d0%26pc%3d%26blackwhite%3d%26cuto ut%3d%26tbar%3d1%26et%3d0x000000000000000000000%26vp%3d0%26l oc%3d0%26imgt%3d0%26dtfr%3d%26dtto%3d%26size%3d0xFF%26archiv e%3d1%26groupid%3d%26pseudoid%3d%26a%3d%26cdid%3d%26cdsrt%3d %26name%3d%26qn%3d%26apalib%3d%26apalic%3d%26lightbox%3d%26g name%3d%26gtype%3d%26xstx%3d0%26simid%3d%26saveQry%3d%26edit orial%3d1%26nu%3d%26t%3d%26edoptin%3d%26customgeoip%3d%26cap %3d1%26cbstore%3d1%26vd%3d0%26lb%3d%26fi%3d2%26edrf%3d%26isp remium%3d1%26flip%3d0%26pl%3d)

[622]

OK, lets call this...

Runner up is Nutloose with "The Colonel isn’t impressed Santa, have you ever seen someone who’s been covered in liquid reindeer sh*t from 7000 feet."

But the winner with a great bit of punning is:

Chu Chu with "Much to the platoon leader's chagrin, the sergeant's enlistment contract contained a Santa clause."

Well done Chu Chu....I would give the trophy an extra wipe down with bleach when you get it as I move into Tier 3 tomorrow!

[Kiltrash]

During the Pandemic, the Army are tasked with supporting the Civilian Police.
In this instance they arrest Santa who has been
' paying ' too much attention to the children in his Grotto.
oops too late on the round out again...

[Chu Chu]

Thanks so much, 622! I'll await the trophy with breath bated behind an N95 mask. Though come to think of it, a few extra germs on this side of the pond won't make much a ripple. . .

I'm afraid my stock of images is limited, so I'm going to have to break the holiday theme. Let's see what this stirs up:


https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/640x458/3b26643r_1ec50f1933e98c2fec519ad167dfdc069eb53686.jpg

[NutLoose]

Ford introduce thrust augmentation.

[NutLoose]

Ferrari is found to be cheating with their new KERs energy recovery system during this years F1.

[Kiltrash]

Early trials of the " Movement Carrier Aircraft System " for use in the Harbour off, show promise

[Kiltrash]

After 24 hours in flight crossing the Atlantic, Lindbergh was unable to get out the cockpit for the celebrations down Whitehall.

[Kiltrash]

VW find another loophole in the regulations

[Kiltrash]

Car driver, well I managed to get up to 88 mph and flash bang wallop look what appeared on my trailer...

[NutLoose]

Trailer park trash haulage our speciality.

[c52]

The requirement was for a plane that could take-off and land on a runway less than twice its own length, and here is our solution!

[NutLoose]

I told you we shouldn’t have taken the flyover.

[Kiltrash]

Never known anything make so much noise and go so slow. Think I will call it a ...Jaguar.

[NutLoose]

Early Air Bus trials reveal passenger capacity problems.

[MPN11]

Rear seat passenger thinks ... “If they invented some sort of angled platform I would feel a bit safer when it takes off.”

[NutLoose]

Yes it’s Heathrow, but you’re 20 years too early

[NutLoose]

This catapult assisted take off will never catch on.

[treadigraph]

airmailLocal™ - a new service from your Post Office...

[treadigraph]

Bit late on the round out AGAIN, Hoskins...

[Kiltrash]

Pilot. If only they would invent the radio Mr Marconi, I could ask them to confirm the QNE.

[Kiltrash]

Lady extreme left.....No I'm not turning round Harold, whatever it is I'm more interested in the sale on at Macy's

[Kiltrash]

Right that's low flying sorted, now where is Tower Bridge again?

[Kiltrash]

Nö it was quite easy towing the Aircraft down 5th Avenue, just had to lop 3 foot off the wings.

[Kiltrash]

Who said it was not a problem, the factory in Queens and the Runway in Manhatten.

[Kiltrash]

Sacre Bleu. Imaging pulling Aircraft parts through a small village. We would never allow that Mon amie

[Kiltrash]

Mr Baker and Mr Martin start trials from first principles, rope in Mr Royce and Mr Rolls to supply the motive power.

[Wensleydale]

Could you direct us to the A9 please?

[treadigraph]

Cut!!! Susan Sarandon has fallen off too early again!

[NutLoose]

Harrods Boxing Day sale is in full swing.

[Ascend Charlie]

The test pilots found that it was faster to put the Jaguar prototype on a trailer and drive it from Idlewilde to La Guardia, than to fly it.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Well the MOD contract stated that the aircraft had to be capable of sustained movement off the ground for a period of 5 hours. Looks like job done !

[Big Pistons Forever]

On a hot day moving aircraft, Leading Aircraftsman Bloggins knows just how to get a nice cooling breeze...

[Big Pistons Forever]

No Bloggins you can't log that as "airtime" !

[c52]

If the spinning prop doesn't keep people 2m away, at least it'll keep live people off.

[Kiltrash]

Ernie, really was the fastest Milkman in the west

[Kiltrash]

In the 1920's Aircraft were all the rage, in fact Cinderella would not be seen dead in a coach and four anymore.

[Hydromet]

The transport officer misheard Bloggs' request. She though he said "I suppose a truck's out of the question?"

[Buster Hyman]

1800 GOT JUNK

[Buster Hyman]

I'm sure this will be popular in the future. I call it Taxiing the Aircraft!!

[Buster Hyman]

"Wait... weren't there four of you on the back?"

[Kiltrash]

Trump. .. right this attracts the vermin, sorry citizens, turn on the Chemtrail

[Kiltrash]

Fords new option with all 1920 cars.
Well with this attachment you can save on brake wear by selecting reverse pitch.
Over engineered thought Hoskins.

[Kiltrash]

Aerocar, first principles

[Kiltrash]

Captain Slow successfully lands on the moving trailer, Barnum ups it to the circus parade through Chicago.

[Dan Gerous]

Great idea Mr Ford, but I still think we should have an enclosed cab with an air conditioner.

https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/640x458/3b26643r_1ec50f1933e98c2fec519ad167dfdc069eb53686.jpg

[MPN11]

Boeing demonstrate their Motor Car Assistance System to applauding FAA inspectors.

[Boeing Jet]

Airfix promoting new model to come on the shelves in the USA!!

[Kiltrash]

80 knots check
cross check
cross check
cross check

y know Mr Boeing we need get this down to a 2 man crew, using automation... what could possibly go wrong?

[Kiltrash]

The motor industry finally does away with the man with the red flag in front of the vehicles to warn of approaching ...
Finds re deployment as Aircraft marshallers at the Airports
that's progress?