Caption Competition Mk II

[Kiltrash]

To prevent their drivers from crashing into each other Ferrari take a fresh look at the F1 regulations for 2020 take to the test back

[Kiltrash]

We will bury these twin seat Spitfires in the sand over there

[Kiltrash]

Harry plans to reverse the aircraft into Vancouver harbour after fitting the floats, wings and 1001 other pieces

[Kiltrash]

Bit close to the turn poles at Reno Hoskins?

[Kiltrash]

...and the Doctor finds the Chameleon Circuit has had another glitch. Matearialises as 2 and a half donkeys

[Wensleydale]

"Forget about the footy in no-man's land at Christmas - this year we'll build a Santa float to keep the troops happy. Now where do we find reindeer in Flanders?"

[NutLoose]

"It's Britains idea of a kit plane, you buy it from the factory complete and it reverts to a kit over time"

[NutLoose]

"It's part of the Moth family, TigerMoth, GypsyMoth, PussMoth and this one is the RampantMoth"

[NutLoose]

"I think we can say it's reached VNE (very nearly eaten) Termite voracity "

[Penny Washers]

"We have been very fortunate, Mustafa. Not only have we been able to buy this latest Boeing 737 Max in the Old Bazaar in Cairo, but the pilot and co-pilot have been included in the deal."

"You are right, Abdul. Allah has been very kind to us. It seems too good to be true."

[Kiltrash]

...and all because the Labour Prime Minister did not deploy Trident

[Kiltrash]

Mad Max 2020 tries to find a new plot about after the Apocalypse

[Kiltrash]

After the Budget 2020 the Air Force scour the museums to find anything they can re arm with

[Kiltrash]

With a utilisation rate of 25 hours a day, service and maintenance was sometimes found wanting

[Kiltrash]

This way we can soon spot stowaways

[Asturias56]

"Undercarriage down?"

"yes sir - 22 greens"...............

[NutLoose]

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/927x472/caption_4_cd825d4bce61b922ac35efbfd66dc3f1afb1ed30_f979a7a96 35f6895c89c6225ffaf2ec31c925c79.jpg

[NutLoose]

""No wonder the Italian airforce are so sh*te, I still cannot get the hang of these Venetian blinds"

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Canada takes delivery of the first of Australia's retired F/A-18's.

[Asturias56]

"tell the bomb aimer to take off that ridiculous hat"

[MPN11]

“I told them, but would they listen? Chapattis are no substitute for doped linen.”

[Buster Hyman]

Circle the wagons! We're in a holding pattern!

[cavuman1]

Tragedy ensued when one of the donks failed at V2.

- Ed

[ShyTorque]

"As soon as the tail comes up I'm going to shoot his hat off!"

[Kiltrash]

The dreaded engine failure at V1 leaving 2.5 donks

[Kiltrash]

Uber back to the Aerodrome

[Kiltrash]

Having been rescued from the ditch the Manchester United Reserve Goalkeeper gets a lift back to the training ground

[Kiltrash]

After a hard landing at Tel Aviv BA163 gets a lift back to Heathrow

[Kiltrash]

...as a cargo flight

[MPN11]

FlyMaybe takes on a new significance.

[NutLoose]

Hoof Proudfoots first flight.

[NutLoose]

"Alf Constable starts setting out his props for his epic war painting, The Haywain"

[ShyTorque]

"When I agreed to appear in the trailer for Top Gun 2, this isn't what I thought they meant....!"

[Miles Magister]

CAMO tells me it is ADS-B compliant

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Take the reins Bloggs. Your sector.
Roger, I have control.

[Ascend Charlie]

Happy Chinese new year!
(Leave that comment for a few days in quarantine)

Judging time.

Points for cruelty go to Wensleydale with
But to be fair, it does out accelerate a Jaguar on the runway!

And also for cruelty was Traffic with
Canada takes delivery of the first of Australia's retired F/A-18's.

But for a good pun it goes back to Wensleydale with

Its our most powerful model with twin turban engines...

Overture you, blue leader...

[Wensleydale]

Ta very much.

Lets try this for size...

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/413x594/vulcan2_71d2230bd435d74ff6aa9fc7d756d2dfa2a90763.jpg

[Hydromet]

Dammit Hoskins, Why do they always have to hold the battle on the edge of the map?

[ShyTorque]

"No, the instructions do say the only way in is up that ladder!"

[MPN11]

"Just steer 270º ... America's big, so we can't miss it."

[Penny Washers]

"Well, they are good looking girls, but there is just nowhere in there we can hang a calendar."

[Dan Gerous]

Nav sitting on wheel, thinking, "FFS just get an Uber".



This tax return is far to complicated, so I'm thinking, the whole stick. The armourers are up for it, what do you think?

[Kiltrash]

F...F...F... there found it Falkland Islands. Bit drab there might have to take some Instant Sunshine

[Kiltrash]

07.00 hard right over Trafalgar Square then full chat down the mall. Give Queenie something better than egg soldiers for breakfast

[Kiltrash]

All this for a fast taxi down Bruntingthorpe

[Dan Gerous]

Yes, I was afraid of that. Only one item of carry on each. The rest have to go in the bomb bay, and there is an additional premium to pay.

[ShyTorque]

"Oops, I was holding the map upside down and we just bombed Newfoundland!"

[treadigraph]

Okay chaps, Operation Skyshield. Now, here's America, see, just here, it's pretty large so we shouldn't miss it...

[MPN11]

Bloody hell, these SD hats here are expensive. How did you afford one, Nav?

[Kiltrash]

Just opened the Orders from AVM Buster. We are to proceed to Stanley Park and off load 1 (one) JDAM onto Annfield Park. At 15.15.

[MPN11]

Wg Cdr with clipboard: "No it definitely says here that there should be 5 of us."

[Kiltrash]

Addition to the emergency kit. All aircrew to be issued with 10 pk Condoms and 5 pk Stockings. In case we eject over the Gay Pride March

[Kiltrash]

Says we are to go to Red Flag in Nevada for the bombing exercise. We will meet up with our flight of 5 F35 there, sorry the 5 has been amended to 4

[Kiltrash]

No the code word for success definitely says Digger

[Kiltrash]

Help stuck on 6 down " Name of one of the UK Nuclear bombers" 6 letters ending in R
" Jaguar" .

[c52]

It says not to sit on the tyres or a chemical reaction between them and your uniform will form a sort of super-glue.

[c52]

Congratulations on the blind landing, but I did expect you to know which airfield you'd done it at.

[c52]

We're a woodwind ensemble - what are these bagpipes doing here?

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Right, so that's 3 chicken and 1 fish, and, ooh, here's a quaint little chardonnay! I'll get them to load that on too.

[MPN11]

“Don’t be silly. There’s no way 50 could ever become a tanker squadron.”

[c52]

"When I'm out of here, I'm going to invent the rear staircase on the BAC 1-11."

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Ok, what I've written here is: "Dear Flight Sergeant, we're not sure what happened. We just opened the door and all this stuff fell out. We know we should have waited and let you do it. We're really sorry." Now let's go before he comes back!

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Do you want me to sign the guest book on behalf of all of us?

[c52]

Our mission today is to do a fly-past at Blackbushe so as to help our American cousins and NATO allies feel a bit better about themselves.

[MPN11]

“Nav, it says here the Bar opens at 16:00. Can you get us there in time for that?”

[MPN11]

“God, this handwriting is bloody awful! Does that say ‘bomb’?”

[c52]

"They didn't tell me it was the Daily Mail air race. I'm not moving from here till I can fly for the Telegraph."

[c52]

"According to this page it is possible for a crew of four to carry 58 essential items into the plane in just one move. We just have to pick them up correctly and stow them about our persons correctly."

[NutLoose]

"Well according to this you might as well hand the imprest bag over to the GE and then we will have to try and scrounge the odd pint off him!"

[NutLoose]

"There it is, I knew I had read it somewhere, OK, we have had the go signal.. yes? and it clearly states here, if you pass go collect 200, so hand over the imprest bag Nav"



..

[NutLoose]

"OK, i've written it up in the 700 for all to see, on this day the Nav successfully located.....his balls"

[NutLoose]

"It says here after we have dropped our nuke we are to proceed to....this page intentionally blank?"

[NutLoose]

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/413x594/vulcan2_71d2230bd435d74ff6aa9fc7d756d2dfa2a90763_75eb5d9b7fb d749435f7d28da81f5de457cbac00.jpg

[NutLoose]

"It's in braille"
"Ahh, that'll be the Navs contour map"

[NutLoose]

"Ok, according to this, we are supposed to fly several thousand miles to a place called Stanley, none of us have ever heard of and miss the runway"

[ivor toolbox]

Right...so which of these stickers are we going to zap on the gear doors with...?

Ttfn

[treadigraph]

Moscow... Moscow... how do you spell it?

[treadigraph]

...and I've a letter here from a Mr Betjeman, it seems he would like us to bomb Slough.

[Kiltrash]

In my Janes book of British Aircraft Markings I have ticked off,XH555 XH556 XH557 XH558 XH559 XH560 XH562 XH563 XH564 XH565 and XH566

Now which one am I missing?

[Kiltrash]

Its from the doc, One of us has got the clap

[Wensleydale]

"It's in braille"
"Ahh, that'll be the Navs contour map"

I'm still waiting for Page 3 of The Sun to be published in Braille!

[Kiltrash]

Nav please can you check that Group Captain Mandrake said it was "Wing Attack Plan R"

[Kiltrash]

Todays Horoscope says I am going on a long, one way trip soon

[Kiltrash]

What do you mean, you cannot find it?
Behind you
Oh no it isn't
Oh yes it is

[Ascend Charlie]

It says here, "Never let them take a photo of you in these caps when we are looking down, or people will see why we call them c**t caps."

[c52]

It says, In no circumstances must this manual be removed from the briefcase.

[NutLoose]

"Oh bugger it says read and then eat to prevent falling into enemy hands"

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Yes, yes, I know we've all been in and had a look, but it definitely says right here that crew accommodation is top of the stairs, on the left.

[NutLoose]

"Well, it says Chicken en Papillote with croutons and a sweet tomato vinaigrette sauce, so I take it that means stale bread chicken sandwiches with ketchup wrapped in a paper bag again, mind you last time it was described as a poussin and turned out to be a boiled egg."

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Right....Appendix E.....Rear Crew Emergency Escape Procedures.....it just says "Mind the stairs".

[Buster Hyman]

Virgil. You had one job, and that was to get us back to Tracey Island so...can you or can't you find it?

[Buster Hyman]

Section 13.2 sub paragraph C says that we cannot continue into late night Ops after two extended nights....Ok, sorted...who's telling Thatcher?

[Buster Hyman]

Just opened the Orders from AVM Buster. We are to proceed to Stanley Park and off load 1 (one) JDAM onto Annfield Park. At 15.15.
Ok, M25 to the M1, then up to the M62 and straight in...this Nav stuff's easy!

[Buster Hyman]

These massive farewell cards annoy the crap out of me. I can't stand the bloke so how can I write enough to fill it out?

[Big Pistons Forever]

Yup, fraid so boys, we absolutely can’t fly because all of our sexual harassment training is 1 day overdue...

[Ascend Charlie]

"...and the showgirl reached under the Bishop's cassock and...hang on, where's the last page???"

[Kiltrash]

It's a update but the CRM114 has been replaced by the HAL9000 it has been extensively tested and nothing can go wrong. go wr......

[Kiltrash]

Just checking the Nav"s not here? Skip I have a Dear John letter for him
Best wait till after the mission

[Kiltrash]

Now that BBC4 Has stopped broadcasting i have opened the letter of last resort from the Prime Minister it says Dear Jennifer of course I love you and can we do some more pole dancing next Tuesday
Mushykins xx

[MPN11]

"Engines, Olympus, four?"

"Check."

[MPN11]

“And the votes cast for getting in the first round are as follows ... Nav Plotter 4, Sqn Cdr 0 ... “

[NutLoose]

"Well, I'm all for leaving them on the ground, because these ikea table assembly instructions make no sense."

[NutLoose]

" I think following that dodgy curry last night we should ration ourselves to only two sheets of paper out of the 700 each and hope the situation improves.

[Webby737]

"This load sheet can't be right lads, there's no booze listed"

[Kiltrash]

We're taking coal to Newcastle?

[Buster Hyman]

...You'll never guess what we're taking to HKG Mav.

[Kiltrash]

This flight planning malarkey is a bit naff, what do you think Mr Jeppsen?

[Kiltrash]

For security reasons it was never revealed that Tim Berners Lee was a Nav Plotter on Vulcans

[Kiltrash]

Mav what are you doing in Vulcans? you should be in F14's and F18's

Sorry Buster...

[c52]

"Scramble!" means we get airborne as fast as we can. It doesn't mean we drop our kit on the ground and mess about with it until it's all intertwined. That's what it says here, anyway.

[NutLoose]

"I can't find anything in here about carrying a nuke onboard and the possible side effects of sterilization, however I don't think covering your nuts with your hands will solve anything Nav, especially considering your RAF watch is mildly radioactive"

[NutLoose]

https://cimg4.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/413x594/vulcan2_71d2230bd435d74ff6aa9fc7d756d2dfa2a90763_75eb5d9b7fb d749435f7d28da81f5de457cbac00_6c69110c98e357a8b2d499f1200fac 67759fd297.jpg

[NutLoose]

"Nope, it's the final part of the mission as we run in to the target that ends with a toss, not the start, sorry Nav"

[Big Pistons Forever]

See it says says “No Fault Found” !

Who signed if off ?

Nutloose...

Crew in unison “Oooohh Noooo......”

[Kiltrash]

Nope. read it again 742 pages and not one word on BREXIT, whatever that is. Cant be important

[Kiltrash]

Look for yourself, it clearly says that due to Waddington being resurfaced we are to locate to RAF Lossiemouth, where breakfast will consist of Haggis, Neeps and Tatties.
Have we enough Muesli to cover this?

[Ascend Charlie]

"And here is the list of schools that we are allowed to dump fuel on."

[NutLoose]

"Apparently it's all up in the loft"

[NutLoose]

"It says they would like us to depart Woodford earliest as they are expecting a load of Nimrods in to scrap"

[aseanaero]

"Where's Waldo ?"

[Buster Hyman]

So, that's 2 Vindaloo's, 4 serves of Naan...

[shackson]

"It's from the Queen........we are going to Canada......."

[Kiltrash]

After a 17 hour sortie, no one wanted to be first to remove their cycle clips

[Kiltrash]

,,..Its a reminder for our American exchange pilot that in the UK we drive on the left

[Kiltrash]

Its a request from the MOD, that now the UK Nuclear Deterrent has been taken over by the Navy, any Volunteers for redundancy? Mr Tebbitt...

[NutLoose]

"There look, it says this thread was started by Airborne Artist, nowhere does it mention this imposter fellow Buster Hymen"

[NutLoose]

"Good God, they're going to turn us into glorified petrol stations!"

[SATCOS WHIPPING BOY]

Ikea equipment storage building instructions;
Pilot: "It says "Twist nuts A and B into place" "
Nav: " I can't see how that will work but I'll give it a go"

[Buster Hyman]

It's no good lads, I can't trim it like this. We'll have to reload it because Nutty has just brought too much baggage....:p

[treadigraph]

The ground crew told me we have a new bit of kit called a SPOCK. Can't find anything in the manual about it...

[c52]

We should have removed our boots and not brought any hand baggage with us during the emergency evacuation.

[CAEBr]

The new "Where's Wally" books were proving to be a great hit.

[Kiltrash]

Put up the pasting table over there and set up the tat for the spotters to buy, make sure the Squadron Badges get centre stage

[cavuman1]

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb....

- Ed

[MPN11]

“OK, if it won’t start, we can get ithis BA flight to LHR or this one to LGW. A quick minicab and back at Waddington by, say, lunchtime. How does that sound?”

”Do we get the hours for doing that?”

[Cat Techie]

Ta very much.

Lets try this for size...

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/413x594/vulcan2_71d2230bd435d74ff6aa9fc7d756d2dfa2a90763.jpg
Time Life Events will never employ us, we look the right age!

[patrickal]

It says "Once ladder is deployed, place right boot on first rung, followed by left boot on second rung. Repeat until access to aircraft is gained. Then proceed to Getting Into Seat instructions in Magenta Training Manual Chapter 26, Unit 5, Page 755, Paragraph C."

[NutLoose]

"It says here, do not remove the chocks until seated in the aircraft due to defective brakes, Christ, this seat is uncomfortable."

[Penny Washers]

"It's from my Wife - she is claiming that the records show I am behind on her maintenance."

[ShyTorque]

"It's no good, chaps, I think this one's a goner!" RAF aircrew show their compassion by attempting to resuscitate a flattened duck that waddled across the runway just as they landed.

[Penny Washers]

Which reminds me - "flatulance" is a vehicle which takes you to hospital after you have been run over by a steamroller.

[NutLoose]

"It says when dealing with nuclear weapons we have to adhere to the three man principal.....****, that means I have to leave one of you behind."

[NutLoose]

"It says once we have bombed Moscow we are to head east, but I will be buggered if I can find a decent hotel east of Moscow to book into.."

[NutLoose]

"Here we go, Cuba, famous for Cigars, Women and Russian short range missile systems"

[MPN11]

“Flatten ... flatter ... ah, here it is ... flatulence.”

[Kiltrash]

Sorry skip the 3 minute warning has sounded but it says here takes 4 minutes for engine start

[Kiltrash]

Says here we should be all strapped in, engines running and at the holding point for the runway when on QRA. However it does not appear to say ' Weapons loaded'

[NutLoose]

"Ok, it says we are to be billeted here while the wussies from Wuhan take over our accommodation for the next couple of weeks"

[SASless]

See Nav.....right here in the fine print....."Nav's shall heat the Pies.....it says naught about you eating the Pies.".

[MPN11]

“According to this graph, Judging normally takes 5 days ... if the OAT is above 2°”

[MPN11]

“Look here, SASless, THIS is proper pluralisation ... ‘Navs’ ”.
;)

[MPN11]

“It’s quite clear here. At 23:00 on Friday we are no longer Europeans, but British, Briefing for the attack on Brussels at 09:00 tomorrow.”

[MPN11]

“Stuff this ... has anyone got a copy of GASOs?”

[NutLoose]

"As you know from midnight on the 31st we will be required to clear customs in Europe, so I plan to drop our load on Calais for inspection"

[MPN11]

Off camera ... “You have Farage flying with you as Supernumerary. Drop at your discretion.”

[MPN11]

“You’re quite right. Page 3 isn’t at all interesting ... it’s all about fuel and balance. Harrumph.”

[MPN11]

“... which reminds me, has Nutloose checked the mammary glands on No,3?”

[Kiltrash]

Right just checking the orders, we were to drop a stick of 15 1000 pound practice bombs over the Wainwright range. So no I have no idea where the mess piano came from

[ivor toolbox]

No, no it says Garvie Island....not Canvey Island

Ttfn

[NutLoose]

"And don't forget we're a pathfinder Sqn.... Err.. Sorry Nav, that doesn't include you"

[Wensleydale]

Yup, fraid so boys, we absolutely can’t fly because all of our sexual harassment training is 1 day overdue...

Well done BPF - there were lots of good entries, but yours hit a chord. The CST is in the post (following 14 days quarantine of course).

[Big Pistons Forever]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/159x159/mask_ca5d5ba81aa2ba3bf721326263490d6d7b19e7c4.png
Figured it is time to make you guys work for the trophy

In case you are wondering these things are flying off the shelf in Wuhan Province

[Wensleydale]

"Do they work against tear gas as well?"

[Kiltrash]

Yes Hoskins you wear it on your groin as a impotence aid

[Kiltrash]

Well this should shut up Farage once and for all

[Kiltrash]

Mumble Mumble. Mumble. No sorry it does not work with Boris, we can still hear you

[Kiltrash]

.....I bought this on flea bay as a D Type flying helmet mask but there is a 6 week wait for expected delivery from China

[Penny Washers]

I still prefer the old Gospel Tube system.

[Kiltrash]

HMTQ . Now Andrew next time you want to do a interview, please wear this...

[Kiltrash]

Issued at all entrances to Salisbury

[Kiltrash]

Attenborough discovers a new species of spider.
Should have gone to SpecSavers

​​​

[Hydromet]

At last, the Air Force provides something better than "Depends" for female jet pilots.

[Ascend Charlie]

flying, off the shelf, in Wuhan Province

Oil rig workers at the off-shelf rigs at Wuhan were surprised to see this object, resembling Luke Skywalker's speeder bike from the planet Endor, flying workers to and from the rig. Sneeze and you miss it...

[Asturias56]

The Captain said all opening batsmen have to wear these...............

[Dan Gerous]

Strap on, or strap in?

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/159x159/mask_ca5d5ba81aa2ba3bf721326263490d6d7b19e7c4.png

[ShyTorque]

It's a nun on a motorbike being chased by a giant shark.

[Kiltrash]

Ah Mr Bond, your annual 00 License to kill review and one last question. This ink blot what do you see?
Skyfall

[Kiltrash]

In a Last ditch effort to reduce racism at Football matches, the authorities issue these to all fans at the turnstiles

[Buster Hyman]

"LUKE...I AM YOUR...pffffzzzt...oh for heavens sake, I can't breathe in this thing!"

[Buster Hyman]

I'm having a friend for dinner, with a nice Chianti....

[Dan Gerous]

From the Darth Vader beachwear collection.

[Dan Gerous]

"Why do I have to wear that"?
"For cough".
"Well Fu Q 2"!

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/159x159/mask_ca5d5ba81aa2ba3bf721326263490d6d7b19e7c4.png

It says 3M , but is it 2019-nCoV compatible?

[MPN11]

Doris bought one to experiment with. George found it easy undo. Doris had twins.

[cavuman1]

Kung Flu Black Belt.

- Ed

[treadigraph]

What all voguish goldfish are wearing this season...

[NutLoose]

"It's the new thing in fetishes, a breathable rubber thong..."

[Penny Washers]

Non PC offering:

It's a device issued to all female ATC staff to cut down the amount of chat.

[treadigraph]

Fortesque-Smythe's flatulence problem led to drastic action by his colleagues...

[Kiltrash]

Men can put men on the moon, can understand the off side rule, can design Concord ( no 'e' after Brexit) can do one task at a time, but having designed the bra are stumped how to undo with one hand....

[treadigraph]

What on earth is it?

I've no idea but it was a bargain!

[treadigraph]

After 27 posts, someone finally realised that Big Pistons had posted the picture upside down...

[MPN11]

The new incontinence pad received mixed reviews, given the additional cost of the waste water tank.

[Kiltrash]

Grandad gets all upset when he sees his truss up for sale. How can I get down to the pub now? He wailed

[andytug]

Nice drawing of the front of a Buccaneer, Hoskins - or at least it will be when you finish it!

[Kiltrash]

Harry and Meghan's Sussex Royals coat of arms is finally released. Latin Legend...Toxic'

[racedo]

Darth Vadar MK1 breathing suit is released.

[MPN11]

New headset for ATCOs revealed.

“Turn muffled heading muffled and muffled Flight Level muffled.”

[Dan Gerous]

Change the text to HS2, and we can charge a few billion for them.

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/159x159/mask_ca5d5ba81aa2ba3bf721326263490d6d7b19e7c4.png


European Parliament approves the post Brexit anti gloating device.

[MPN11]

Stormtroopers adopt a lightweight version after research showed their helmets were just too warm.ti

[Kiltrash]

The Doctor defeats the Master's devilish human destroying crabs, by pulling the legs of them

[NutLoose]

"Following on from the disaster of the British Armies 5G secure comms system, urgent trials begin with armour plated Carrier Pigeons.

[Kiltrash]

...only 50 pence however if you want we can include your favourite Premier League emblem to show you are a true fan, only an additional £10 each

[Kiltrash]

Suzanna Reid buys one for Piers Morgan

[Kiltrash]

In an attempt to save the Love Island contestants from the Corona Virus Piers sends in a box of 20

[Kiltrash]

Due to a error in perspective the mighty Thral's Battle fleet having ctossed vast Interstellar distance was swallowed by a Jack Russell

[Buster Hyman]

Oh. There it is. Jim Carey was looking for this...

[Penny Washers]

Nike's Vaporfly Y-fronts with carbon fibre inserts are expected to revolutionise cross country running (and the runners.)

[NutLoose]

"They're supposed to give you more freedom of movement, hence the "Free Them" unfortunately our Chinese manufacturer read that as 3M"

[Buster Hyman]

Italian Football miss the mark, yet again, with their new anti racism campaign

[Pontius Navigator]

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/159x159/mask_ca5d5ba81aa2ba3bf721326263490d6d7b19e7c4.png


Suzanne York refused to wear this.

[Kiltrash]

Dunno know what this is but my Jaguar is hiding in the woods

[Kiltrash]

The $1bn F35 helmet can finally be revealed. The DOD feels that everyone will assume it's a Corona Virus mask

[Kiltrash]

To reduce obesity the Doctors now prescribe these so the smell from the Fish and Chip shops stop enticing in the fatties

[NutLoose]

"And this is the female version, as you can see it has two holes."

[NutLoose]

"And this is to insert in ones trousers to make one more attractive to the opposite sex, we call it the strapadicktomee.."

[treadigraph]

The Mk57 Beer Goggles were found to be rather too effective...

[Big Pistons Forever]

Might be on the road for a while so judging tomorrow. Great entries so far although soon of you have really twisted minds:ooh:

[Kiltrash]

As the level of Bull**** rises in the impeachment trial, the Democrats decide to do something about the stench

[Kiltrash]

Prince Philip gets a new bib to prevent staining of his dress shirt at dinner

[Kiltrash]

Yun Fat One's hairdresser finds the perfect attachment to get a really sharp hair cut line

[Wensleydale]

the Health and Safety Officer brings in new compulsory equipment to wear when attempting to set light to a fart.

[NutLoose]

"They're the wrong trousers Gromit"

[NutLoose]

"If Carlseberg made butt plugs, they would be the best butt plugs in the world"

[MPN11]

Cough, and rebound. Nice!

[Kiltrash]

This is the Electronic Ankle Tag that the South Afrikan Police has Oscar wear so they know where he is at all times.
Erm where's his leg?
Ah.....

[Kiltrash]

I'm scared to ask what it is but Ms Whiplash has 10 in assorted sizes and colours hanging on her dungeon wall the last time I visited.
When I asked she said they were for her ' Members of Parliament use ' only

[Big Pistons Forever]

Many good entries but I liked the nice historical reference, so Penny Washers wins it with

I still prefer the old Gospel Tube system.

I am guessing "Gosport" isn't in the evil empires spell check vocabulary :hmm: and helpfully "corrected" it to gospel :rolleyes:

The CAPCOM trophy is headed your way aaaaaaand you might want to wash your hands after you get it...........

[Ascend Charlie]

the old Gospel Tube system.

Gosport, Bloggs, GOSPORT! The Gospel system is reserved for Sky Pilots.

[Penny Washers]

Thanks very much, BPF. The 'error' was deliberate, but I bet that much that was 'gospel' came down those tubes into the ears of the poor struggling student.

Now, I expect to see some 'spirited' captions for this one . . . .

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune.org-vbulletin/930x1326/instrument_panel_5228205759e6acfc8b0567e6040b35ad4144720a.jp g

[treadigraph]

Aewobatics may be a little whisky...

[treadigraph]

It's not an artificial horizon, it's more of a spirit level...

[Wensleydale]

The Spirit of St Louis?

[Kiltrash]

Damm good stuff that Velcro

[Kiltrash]

Top brown, Bottom clear = Flying in Australia

[Kiltrash]

In case of MCAS failure, if all else fails consume me

[Kiltrash]

Right hand dial is obviously the 10 hour Decimal EU clock

[treadigraph]

It's a whiskey compass - when it's empty, I find myself heading to nearest...

[622]

When I said get a sample Bloggs....I meant the fuel!

[Wensleydale]

It is the standby altimeter. Its use signifies a slow and gradual descent.......

[Kiltrash]

IRN BRU Drinker tries to hide his shamefull secret

[Kiltrash]

I drink to forget
forget what?
I can't fly

[Kiltrash]

If the speedo reads more that the red line, drink the bottle till you can't remember why there is a red line

[Wensleydale]

How to enter a spin.

1. Drink Bottle
2. Start to Spin

[Wensleydale]

Aircraft Instructional Conversion Kit. (Well my instructor needed one).

[Kiltrash]

After a particularly harrowing Rescue, Virgil Tracy looks forward to a light refreshment

[Kiltrash]

After Brexit the rules regarding drinking the Duty Free in flight needs clarifying

[Kiltrash]

After the USMC commander was sacked for a low fly past, the reason he could not remember it is exposed

[Wensleydale]

Its held in place by Scotch Tape!

[treadigraph]

The aircraft? It's a Beech Bourbonanza...

[Wensleydale]

Speyside Engines?