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Caption Competition Mk III

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Old 10th Sep 2021, 20:34
  #5141 (permalink)  
 
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Hi everyone slowing down so last orders please, in 12 hours time I will anoint the latest winner...
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Old 10th Sep 2021, 22:27
  #5142 (permalink)  
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Why isn't Private Walker here?

He is seeing to your wife's needs Sir.

Is he indeed? Good man. Right, today's task is....
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 01:59
  #5143 (permalink)  
 
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Don’t worry Godfrey, I’m to old to have a negligent discharge, ask my wife.
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 02:01
  #5144 (permalink)  
 
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Shouldn’t you be pointing it at them Captain Mainwaring…
Ahh good man, I was wondering when someone would notice that Cpl Jones.
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 02:05
  #5145 (permalink)  
 
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We’re out of ammo Captain, we need a weapon, how about a pike? They don’t like it up em you know.
You just wait untill I tell my mum what you have in store for me, you hear that Uncle Arthur?
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 02:12
  #5146 (permalink)  
 
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Captain Manwairing, I think I’ve just sat on my bayonet and you know I don’t think it’s as bad as I made out.
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 02:16
  #5147 (permalink)  
 
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Gather round men, it has come to my attention that Lance Corporal Jones is about to release an album of songs.
I have one round left in this rifle and I put it to you that we think of England while we have our backs against the wall and shoot him before he gets it released.

​​​​​​…

Last edited by NutLoose; 11th Sep 2021 at 02:28.
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 02:23
  #5148 (permalink)  
 
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 02:26
  #5149 (permalink)  
 
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It’s ok Captain Mainwaring, it’s not the invasion bells, Mrs Fox has had my foreskin pierced and a little bell hung on it.
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 02:34
  #5150 (permalink)  
 
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Before you shoot Hodges, hadn’t we better ascertain if he has anymore onions?
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 05:27
  #5151 (permalink)  
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I don't care if you have shot him Captain Mainwaring, I still want make sure my name is crossed out in his little notebook.

Last edited by treadigraph; 11th Sep 2021 at 05:43.
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 08:04
  #5152 (permalink)  
 
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Runner up goes to Andy with

"Now listen here...As we only have one gun we will have toshare it, different person each day. Jones - Monday, Pike - Tuesday........I'd avoid the area on Wednesday if I were you as Godfrey will have it then...."
but todays winner is roll of drums...

Originally Posted by treadigraph
Why isn't Private Walker here?

He is seeing to your wife's needs Sir.

Is he indeed? Good man. Right, today's task is....
You have contrail...
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 11:45
  #5153 (permalink)  
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Blimey, thanks Kiltrash! Have a go with this which is a screen grab from a video I saw several weeks ago - hope it's clear enough; I'm not sure what in hell is happening but I'm sure a plethora of suggestions await me. Judging on Monday evening...


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Old 11th Sep 2021, 12:52
  #5154 (permalink)  
 
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Ok, hit the starter and count the number of revolutions before he flies off.
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 14:03
  #5155 (permalink)  

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I heard hiding in the landing gear was dangerous, but I should be fine up here...
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 14:04
  #5156 (permalink)  

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William Shatner looks out the window & can't believe it's happening again!
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 15:02
  #5157 (permalink)  
 
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Yeh, we've been having problems with kids using the blades as slides, so we've serrated the end of the blades. Once a few of them have had their arses's torn off, they'll stop.
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 16:51
  #5158 (permalink)  
 
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Leading Aircrafts man Tom Daily during training for life after the RAF
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 16:53
  #5159 (permalink)  
 
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You gonna need a bigger boat.... ( think Jaws ) before you fly at low level...
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Old 11th Sep 2021, 16:55
  #5160 (permalink)  
 
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The latest wall paper paste / Super glue has passed all initial tests
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